mirror of
https://github.com/arthur-pbty/xiao.git
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Dragon Fire
29654 lines
808 KiB
JSON
29654 lines
808 KiB
JSON
{
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"white":[
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"#fearvokallchicks.",
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"Getting so angry that you pop a boner.",
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"Oral sex that tastes like urine.",
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"100% hearthfelt compassion.",
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"20g of Street tik.",
|
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"3 Dimensional spatial awarness.",
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"3 egg omelettes.",
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"500 hours of court-ordered community service.",
|
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"7 Blows with a crowbar on the uppper lip.",
|
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"939 million 3000 and 60000 members",
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|
"A 15cm long dick.",
|
|
"A bald eagle named Small Government.",
|
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"A big hot fire that's burning everybody.",
|
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"A bleeding asshole.",
|
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"A box of magic dice.",
|
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"A brain tumour.",
|
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"A cheeky coloured woman.",
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"A clandestine crotch scratch.",
|
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"A dead puppy, marinated with monkey-gland sauce.",
|
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"A defective stroller.",
|
|
"A disappointing salad.",
|
|
"A dropped stitch.",
|
|
"a few porpoises a-piece",
|
|
"A four million-dollar fireworks display.",
|
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"A good, strong gorilla.",
|
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"A gorilla smoking a pipe.",
|
|
"A great white shark with halitosis.",
|
|
"A hippo in a thong.",
|
|
"A hot neighbor with no conscience and nothing to lose.",
|
|
"A human cannonball.",
|
|
"A Leon Schuster candid camera prank.",
|
|
"A lifetime subscription to Big Black Butts magazine.",
|
|
"A mangy dog.",
|
|
"A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.",
|
|
"A middle-aged man rollerblading in a mankini.",
|
|
"A miniature Doberman biting the rim of your anus.",
|
|
"A moment so special you realize it was all worth it.",
|
|
"A more handsome, younger, stronger toy-boy",
|
|
"A murder in the making.",
|
|
"A penis horn on a unicorn.",
|
|
"A pick-up line that works every damn time.",
|
|
"A porn pirate's life.",
|
|
"A prehensile tongue that is 12cm long.",
|
|
"A proper gentleman.",
|
|
"A racial fascist.",
|
|
"a really cool preteen",
|
|
"A samurai sword",
|
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"A sasquatch",
|
|
"A saxophone solo.",
|
|
"A sink full of pee.",
|
|
"A snotklap.",
|
|
"A soiled baby diaper fight.",
|
|
"A sriracha filled doughnut.",
|
|
"A stray pube in your food.",
|
|
"A Taxi-bus following road rules.",
|
|
"A thermos full of baby batter",
|
|
"A timeless reading from Fifty Shades of Grey.",
|
|
"A very awkward voicemail.",
|
|
"A wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tubeman.",
|
|
"A whale-mating display.",
|
|
"A windmill decorated with decomposing corpses.",
|
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"Absobloodylutely nothing!",
|
|
"Abusing the elderly in the old age home.",
|
|
"Accidentally peeing a little bit when you laugh.",
|
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"Accidentally seeing your parents having anal sex.",
|
|
"Actaully having a great hair day.",
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"Actors that try to sing",
|
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"Actually voting for Donald Trump to be President of the actual United States.",
|
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"Addicted to antidepressants.",
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"Afrikaner Mafia.",
|
|
"AIDS",
|
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"aim for the center!",
|
|
"Alexander Hamilton's mummified corpse.",
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|
"All-you-can-eat buffalo wings for R45.00.",
|
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"Alternative facts",
|
|
"Amazing Abs.",
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"Amy Adams",
|
|
"An actor actaully having a heart attack.",
|
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"An adorable pet rat.",
|
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"An angle-grinder lobotomy.",
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"an anorexia and bulima show-off.",
|
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"An atheist going to Garden of the Gods.",
|
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"An erection that lasts longer than four hours.",
|
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"An expanding ray.",
|
|
"An explosively flatulent cow.",
|
|
"An honest lawyer.",
|
|
"An off-center soul patch.",
|
|
"An over-sized Pit bull on steroids.",
|
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"An unfulfilling handjob.",
|
|
"Anal bleeding.",
|
|
"Another goddamn cookstove",
|
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"ARchbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu.",
|
|
"Arranged Marriages",
|
|
"Asians who sound white.",
|
|
"Assmebling an IKEA wardrobe.",
|
|
"Attracting literally the worst people.",
|
|
"Austin Blues Predators.",
|
|
"Authentic Mexican cuisine.",
|
|
"Autoerotic asphyxiation.",
|
|
"AXE deodorant spray clouds",
|
|
"Ball-sack pins & Needles.",
|
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"Balls. Big balls. Really big balls.",
|
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"Batman.",
|
|
"Beauty pageants for children.",
|
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"Becuase: bacon.",
|
|
"Being a dinosaur.",
|
|
"Being a political correct grammar Nazi.",
|
|
"Being absolutely fabulous.",
|
|
"Being diagnosed with a disease that affects 1 out of every eight billion people.",
|
|
"Being Marginalised.",
|
|
"Being on Fire.",
|
|
"Being pregnant with dolphin babies.",
|
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"Being seen reading Infinite Jest.",
|
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"Being too late to stop the ass from having an orgasm.",
|
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"Beitbridge border guards.",
|
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"Bitching about nothing.",
|
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"Black Republicans.",
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"blink once for yes, twice for no",
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"Boerewors Rolls",
|
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"Boerewors rolls.",
|
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"Bogies.",
|
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"Botflies in my boxers",
|
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"Breaking out with bacne.",
|
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"Breaking the speed of stupid.",
|
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"Buggering.",
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"BY THE POWER OF BISCUITS!",
|
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"Cargo pants and boob-tubes.",
|
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"Catastrophic urethral trauma.",
|
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"Charisma",
|
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"Charred human remains.",
|
|
"Cheating on a Windhoek Light diet.",
|
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"cheating on your girlfriend while she's in a coma",
|
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"Child beauty pageants.",
|
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"Choking those misbehaving kids with chocolate mousse.",
|
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"Civilians awkwardly saluting you in public.",
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"Cloggin the future in-law's toilets.",
|
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"Coating your dick in onion juice and sticking it into an arsehole",
|
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"Cock-fights.",
|
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"Cockraoches?",
|
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"Colluding with Russia.",
|
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"Combing my pubes to get all the rusk crumbs out.",
|
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"Consumer whore.",
|
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"Cooking oil lube.",
|
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"Coppnig a feel.",
|
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"Costco on a Saturday",
|
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"Crapping in a filing cabinet.",
|
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"Crippling OC D.",
|
|
"Crowd control with a poop-gun.",
|
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"Crystal Meth.",
|
|
"Customer service representattives.",
|
|
"Cybernetic Enhancements.",
|
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"Cyril Ramaphosa.",
|
|
"Daddy Issues.",
|
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"Dat ghetto booty.",
|
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"Date Rape.",
|
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"Dead birds everywhere.",
|
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"Dead puppies.",
|
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"Decomposing squirrels.",
|
|
"Delousing hair shampoo for pupils.",
|
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"Dick nipples.",
|
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"Discovering a new tattoo on your body with someone's name that you don't know.",
|
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"Discovering my passion for necrophilia.",
|
|
"Doing the thing that is the right thing to do.",
|
|
"Drinking games resulting in emerency room visits.",
|
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"Drinking on your own.",
|
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"Dry Humping",
|
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"Dynamic Dan diving deep.",
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"Eating a teaspoonful of cayenne pepper.",
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"Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.",
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"Eating the last known rhinoceros.",
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"Edblo Mattresses.",
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"Edible underwear",
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"Edible Valentine's day lingerie.",
|
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"Either a queef or a fart.",
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"Elderly Asian tourists.",
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"Electing a chimpanzee as president.",
|
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"Encapsulating the placenta.",
|
|
"Enjoying Woolworth's Heat-n-Eat.",
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"Equal pay for women.",
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"Erection fraud.",
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"Ethnic slurs.",
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"Exacly what you'd expect.",
|
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"Exchanging small-talk.",
|
|
"Expecting a burp and vomiting on boobs.",
|
|
"Explosive decompression.",
|
|
"Extra-large lollipops.",
|
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"F.W. De Klerk.",
|
|
"Faling asleep while having sex.",
|
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"Famous peanut scientist George Washington Carver.",
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"Fantasies about wrestlers.",
|
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"Farting Antelopes",
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"Farting in a bed and basking in it.",
|
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"Farting while engaged in a 69.",
|
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"Faulty UIDs.",
|
|
"Feather dusters.",
|
|
"Feeding Munchkins to a Great White shark.",
|
|
"Female Suffrage.",
|
|
"Fiery nipples.",
|
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"Fiery poos.",
|
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"Finally getting rid of taxis.",
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"Finger Popping Assholes",
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"Finger-banging a dog.",
|
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"Fingernail clippings",
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"Fleshlights",
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"Flinging myself from a cliff overlooking the sea.",
|
|
"Flying squirrels.",
|
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"Forever regretting the day you told your Platoon Sergeant you didn't have anything to do.",
|
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"Forgetting Bloodriver.",
|
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"Forgetting the safe word because you are too excited.",
|
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"Former President P.E. Botha.",
|
|
"Frank Underwood.",
|
|
"Free samples of dubious origin.",
|
|
"French-kissing a Poodle.",
|
|
"Fried Big Bird.",
|
|
"Friends reruns all day long",
|
|
"Friends who eat all your snacks.",
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"Fries dipped in a chocolate milkshake.",
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"Full HD.",
|
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"Genital wart puss.",
|
|
"Gently caressing of the inner folds.",
|
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"Getting care in a hospice.",
|
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"Getting frunk on hand sanitiser.",
|
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"Getting naked and watching Wielie-Walie.",
|
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"Getting naked on a party-bus.",
|
|
"Getting really hot",
|
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"Getting to third base.",
|
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"Giant killer robots",
|
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"Giant pigeon from outer space.",
|
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"Giving a cab driver a hand job because you have no money for the fare.",
|
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"Giving blowjobs to beggers.",
|
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"Giving mind-numbing breathtaking orgasms.",
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"Giving money to ahobo because they have a dog.",
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"Glow belts.",
|
|
"Going commando to play strip-poker.",
|
|
"Golfing in high heels.",
|
|
"Gory vigilante executions.",
|
|
"Grandma's Bald Pussy",
|
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"Gravity.",
|
|
"Green and yellow salty boogers.",
|
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"Guys who take off their wedding rings before they flirt with you at a bar.",
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"HAIBO! Voertsek!",
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"Hairy female nipples.",
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"half-formed fetal suggestions",
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"Having a rocket penis.",
|
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"Having a vagina and a penis.",
|
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"Having eyes that look like anuses.",
|
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"Heart-warming orphans.",
|
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"Helen Zille being chased by Redwing Starlings.",
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"Hiding a boner at work.",
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"Highveld thunderstorms.",
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"his snow-white hump",
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"Homely women in fashion shows.",
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"Homoerotic beach volleyball.",
|
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"Hopelessness.",
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"hormone replacement therapy",
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"Horror movies",
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"Horse shit.",
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"Hot Cheetos®.",
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"Hot Pockets",
|
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"Human traffickers getting ass cancer.",
|
|
"Incestual thoughts",
|
|
"Incomprehensible stupidity.",
|
|
"Incredible sequined underpants.",
|
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"Informing you that I am a registered sex offender.",
|
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"Itchy bum",
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"Jack Parow.",
|
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"Jan from the parish office.",
|
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"Jerking off to the sound of your parents having sex.",
|
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"Julius Malema whispering sweet nothings into your ear.",
|
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"Julius Malema.",
|
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"Just having a look-see.",
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|
"Justin Bieber's favorite burger joint.",
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"Kaizer Chiefs football players.",
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"Kancho",
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"Kids sword-fighting with dildos.",
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"Kids with cancer.",
|
|
"Knowing exactly what woman want during sex.",
|
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"Ladies, gentlemen, and the undecided.",
|
|
"Lance armstrong's missing testicle.",
|
|
"Languidly dancing in front of the bathroom mirror.",
|
|
"Laying something bare",
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|
"Lesbian scissor fucking",
|
|
"Licking Toilet Seats",
|
|
"Lighting up a fart.",
|
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"Loganberry flavored Jell-o wrestling.",
|
|
"Loose Lips.",
|
|
"Loving you neighbour but loving your neighbour's wife even more.",
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|
"Mahatma Gandhi.",
|
|
"Making puppy dog eyes.",
|
|
"Mama Mary.",
|
|
"Man tits.",
|
|
"Massiv balls with lots of cum in them.",
|
|
"Masturbatory assistance from your mom.",
|
|
"Me, your dad.",
|
|
"Men's beach volleyball",
|
|
"Menstrual blood revitalising cream.",
|
|
"Menstruation is no joke. Period.",
|
|
"Mensturation.",
|
|
"Mile high club membership.",
|
|
"Miscellaneous countries that show no purpose to exist.",
|
|
"Mixed p Viagra® and Botox injections.",
|
|
"Moandoza.",
|
|
"Moriori",
|
|
"Mouth Herpes.",
|
|
"Mr Muscle®, it can clean ANYTHING.",
|
|
"Multicultural television",
|
|
"Multivitamin gummy bears.",
|
|
"Mutually-assured destruction.",
|
|
"My collection of Japanese sex toys.",
|
|
"My genitals. In your hands.",
|
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"My husband.",
|
|
"My Internet search history",
|
|
"My resting bitch face",
|
|
"My sexual attraction to mashed potatoes.",
|
|
"My Soul",
|
|
"My vagina",
|
|
"Nathaniel Hawthorne",
|
|
"Natural selection.",
|
|
"Natural stupidity",
|
|
"NBA superstar LeBron James.",
|
|
"Nodding and shouting \"Yeah!\" at my parent's advice while knowing I'll ignore it.",
|
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"Not being able to lose your virginity.",
|
|
"Not giving a shit about the Third World's problems.",
|
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"Not referring to your dad as 'dad' because he says it sounds weird",
|
|
"Nothing but fear itself.",
|
|
"Object permanence.",
|
|
"Off-duty Nazis just looking for a good time.",
|
|
"Old people.",
|
|
"Oprah and her huge black ass.",
|
|
"Ordering haute cuisine at The Big Box Cafe.",
|
|
"Ordering kiddie meals to get the toys.",
|
|
"Orgasmic yodelling.",
|
|
"Oscar Pistorius convulsively vomiting as botfly larvae hatch in his lymph nodes and crawl out of his armpits.",
|
|
"Other men's hands.",
|
|
"Overcompensating for you small defect.",
|
|
"Pagans.",
|
|
"Pandora's vagina.",
|
|
"Parliament.",
|
|
"Passing fart and making toilet.",
|
|
"Passover.",
|
|
"Patricia de Lille's warm embrace.",
|
|
"Peeing in the jacuzzi.",
|
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"Peeping Tom.",
|
|
"Penetrating all her holes at the same time.",
|
|
"Penis hunters.",
|
|
"Penis piano playing.",
|
|
"Penis sword fighting.",
|
|
"Penises instead of fingers.",
|
|
"Phoning the parents of a half-retarded Airman to tell them they're fucking failures.",
|
|
"Pictures of you drinking a cocktail, sky-diving, and rock-climbing.",
|
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"pity-fucking a fat groomsman",
|
|
"Ploughing her furrow like a Free State mielie farmer.",
|
|
"Police doing funnels",
|
|
"Political party punch-ups.",
|
|
"Pooping barf forever.",
|
|
"Poor personal hygiene",
|
|
"Poorly-timed racist jokes.",
|
|
"Porn movies about middle-aged men in diapers.",
|
|
"Pornstars.",
|
|
"Potty training failure",
|
|
"Powerlifting to the Backstreet Boys.",
|
|
"Practice Telekinesis.",
|
|
"Prancing on the sidewalk.",
|
|
"Pretend I am Godzilla and stomp on doll houses.",
|
|
"Pretending to enjoy their school concerts",
|
|
"Progressing from banana to a cucumber as a penis substitute.",
|
|
"Public shaming.",
|
|
"Public toilet eau de cologne.",
|
|
"Pulling pits.",
|
|
"Puppy breath.",
|
|
"Queefs",
|
|
"Racially biased employment equity questions.",
|
|
"Racist Christmas Present",
|
|
"Racists",
|
|
"Rapist Brock Turner",
|
|
"Re-inventing what it means to \"Doggy-Style\".",
|
|
"Reptilian Senators.",
|
|
"Ressurecting the Nazis.",
|
|
"Riaan Cruywagen.",
|
|
"Riding in a mini-bus taxi.",
|
|
"Riding the Loch Ness Monster while guzzling scotch.",
|
|
"Roach motels.",
|
|
"Rubbing her joy-button just the right way.",
|
|
"Rugby players.",
|
|
"Same-sex parents.",
|
|
"say 'hello' to my little friend",
|
|
"Scandals",
|
|
"Scatophilia.",
|
|
"Scientologists",
|
|
"Scissoring",
|
|
"Scoops of whipped cream on just the right places.",
|
|
"Scrumpdidlyumptious farts",
|
|
"Seeing fresh puke and picking up the big pieces.",
|
|
"Seeing your private journal entries on social media.",
|
|
"Self-cannibalism",
|
|
"Self-medicating.",
|
|
"Sesame Street erotica.",
|
|
"Sexual Death.",
|
|
"Sexual urges at inappropriate times.",
|
|
"Sexy Siamese twins.",
|
|
"Shaka Zulu",
|
|
"Shark sugar",
|
|
"Sharon Stone.",
|
|
"Shit in your pants.",
|
|
"Slaves.",
|
|
"Sleeping in jail.",
|
|
"Slipping into a meat sitickini.",
|
|
"Smelling last night's disco pussy on your top lip",
|
|
"Sniffing on your father's underwear.",
|
|
"Sniffing too much powdered moth-balls.",
|
|
"Sniffing used pads.",
|
|
"Snorting wasabi powder.",
|
|
"Soiling your Mustang® suit.",
|
|
"Soup that's better than pussy.",
|
|
"Souting the abortion clinic for your next one-night stand.",
|
|
"Speaking fluently in pig latin",
|
|
"Spermicidal lube.",
|
|
"Spicy chimichangas",
|
|
"Spoo.",
|
|
"Stranger Danger.",
|
|
"Sultry Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma.",
|
|
"Sunshine, pretty flowers and rainbows.",
|
|
"Super self-confidence.",
|
|
"Super tight, camel-toe yoga pants.",
|
|
"Surrogate mom",
|
|
"Sweet Seduction.",
|
|
"Sweet, sweet vengeance.",
|
|
"Switching to the metric system.",
|
|
"Taking one for the team.",
|
|
"Taking random pills to get high.",
|
|
"Tangling my headphones before they're even out of the box.",
|
|
"Tasting your wife's boob milk.",
|
|
"Teaching a politician how to tell the truth.",
|
|
"Team building exercises at a nudist colony.",
|
|
"Teenagers recording themselves singing",
|
|
"Telling daddy jokes in a pub.",
|
|
"Temper tantrums.",
|
|
"Tentatively slipping a finger into your partner's asshole.",
|
|
"Tequila-flavoured man-juice.",
|
|
"Terrible life decisions.",
|
|
"Terry Fox's prosthetic leg.",
|
|
"Testify that I am a spoon.",
|
|
"That thing where closet gay guys act like they hate gays because they really hate themselves.",
|
|
"The 'obese, retarded and handicapped' excuse.",
|
|
"The 3 'B's. Bells whiskey, a blonde and a bed.",
|
|
"The animatronic bears playing musical instruments at Chuck E. Cheese",
|
|
"The artificial pussy.",
|
|
"the big butt shaft",
|
|
"The BNP.",
|
|
"The Boers.",
|
|
"The cannonball of my anal sphincter.",
|
|
"The card Neil Gaiman wrote: \"Three elves at a time.\"",
|
|
"The class genius who doesn't shower for weeks.",
|
|
"The clown that followed me home from the grocery store.",
|
|
"The Destitute.",
|
|
"The EFF.",
|
|
"The Foo Fighters.",
|
|
"the force is strong with this one",
|
|
"The forgettable Gen Xers.",
|
|
"The Gaza Strip.",
|
|
"The global warming conspiracy.",
|
|
"the Groot Trek.",
|
|
"The Hamilton Massacre.",
|
|
"The hardworking Ngerian.",
|
|
"The Helen Zile seal of approval.",
|
|
"The Hilarious Card Game.",
|
|
"The homosexual lifestyle.",
|
|
"The honourable member, shut up.",
|
|
"The illusive mystical G-spot.",
|
|
"The Jodi Arias daycare center.",
|
|
"The little goblins that live in engineering spaces.",
|
|
"The Long White Cloud",
|
|
"The male gaze.",
|
|
"The Math for Marines MCI.",
|
|
"The meaning of 42.",
|
|
"The milkman's baby",
|
|
"the miracle of childbirth.",
|
|
"The Oros Man.",
|
|
"The perfectly curved cock - every woman's ultimate fantasy.",
|
|
"The placebo effect.",
|
|
"The player to your left",
|
|
"The porn studio casting couch.",
|
|
"The President's Keepers.",
|
|
"The Profoundly handicapped.",
|
|
"The purity of a child.",
|
|
"The SABC not showing any more reeuns.",
|
|
"The safest way to have dolphin-sex.",
|
|
"The screaming... The constant silent sscreaming.",
|
|
"The Truffle Shuffle.",
|
|
"The Virginia Tech Massacre.",
|
|
"The warm feeling of poop between your toes.",
|
|
"The white minority.",
|
|
"Thorwing up while going down.",
|
|
"Thrush.",
|
|
"Tipping the uber-driver.",
|
|
"Tokeloshe.",
|
|
"Tolerable tiny transvestites.",
|
|
"Too much hairspray.",
|
|
"Toys",
|
|
"Traditional tribal initiation circumcisions.",
|
|
"Transplarent nipple pasties.",
|
|
"Trevor Noah.",
|
|
"Trying not to blush at the mention of Diepkloof & Tietiesbaai.",
|
|
"Tu Meke",
|
|
"Twerking in a MOPP suit.",
|
|
"Unexpected mutual orgasms without birth control.",
|
|
"Unicorn style dyed pubic hair.",
|
|
"Uppercutting POGs into the sun.",
|
|
"Using children as psychological guinea-pigs.",
|
|
"Using cum as hair gel.",
|
|
"Velcro™.",
|
|
"Vibrating Bullet",
|
|
"Vlakplaas.,",
|
|
"Waiting until you are married.",
|
|
"Waking up in an ice-bath with stitches where your liver used to be.",
|
|
"Waking up with only a shirt on in a Makro™ parking lot.",
|
|
"Walking children on leashes and carrying dogs in arms.",
|
|
"Warm, tender, silky-soft sex with a teddy-bear.",
|
|
"Watching 7de Laan to learn Afrikaans.",
|
|
"Wearing glasses to look as if you are smart.",
|
|
"Wearing the cone-of-shame.",
|
|
"Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid laundry.",
|
|
"Wearing used underwear and spraying it with perfume to mask the smell.",
|
|
"When you're blowing a guy and you realize he's a faggot.",
|
|
"Whipping lower-class white men into a xenophobic frenzy.",
|
|
"Whiskey filled boobs.",
|
|
"White beggars at robots.",
|
|
"White power.",
|
|
"White Rosa Parks.",
|
|
"Wiffle ball.",
|
|
"Winking at waitresses.",
|
|
"Winnie Madikizela Mandela.",
|
|
"Wiping Hillary Clinton's server with a cloth.",
|
|
"With super-runny diarrhoea.",
|
|
"World Peace.",
|
|
"Yogurt that moans in pleasure as you eat it.",
|
|
"Zombie petting zoo.",
|
|
"Zyklon B.",
|
|
"A denture-free blowjob from Betty White.",
|
|
"A donkey punch.",
|
|
"A face only a mother could love.",
|
|
"A particiation award.",
|
|
"A participation award.",
|
|
"A retirement home orgy.",
|
|
"A reverse mermaid pathetically kicking around in a circle.",
|
|
"A rug that really ties the room together.",
|
|
"A unicorn with a unibrow riding a unicycle.",
|
|
"Accidentally drunk sexting Dad.",
|
|
"Accidently drunk sexting your parents.",
|
|
"Amateur acupuncture.",
|
|
"An \"accidental\" facial.",
|
|
"An 89-year-old woman with time and gravity-affected breast implants jumping rope.",
|
|
"An empty, neutered ballsack.",
|
|
"An extravagent merkin.",
|
|
"Another Saturday night alone, a jar full of peanut butter, and my dog.",
|
|
"Asking a morbidly obese woman if she's pregnant.",
|
|
"Beans, beans, the magical fruit.",
|
|
"Being dumber than a 5th grader.",
|
|
"Bill Fucking Murray.",
|
|
"Bill's penis in and around Hillary's mouth.",
|
|
"Blowing into a Nintendo cartridge and passing out.",
|
|
"Butt barf.",
|
|
"Buying a dog as a practice child and failing miserably.",
|
|
"Buying a dog as a practice kid and colossally failing.",
|
|
"Consuming undercooked eggs or poultry.",
|
|
"Danger zone!",
|
|
"Defiling new car smell.",
|
|
"Deliberately spreading STDs.",
|
|
"Disguising a queef as a fart.",
|
|
"Docking.",
|
|
"Donkey punching Donkey Kong.",
|
|
"Dressing as yourself for Halloween.",
|
|
"Dropping the soap.",
|
|
"Ducking autocorrect.",
|
|
"Failing to honor my 5th grade D.A.R.E. agreement.",
|
|
"Farmers who fuck goats.",
|
|
"Finding a used Band-Aid in the pool.",
|
|
"Forgetting about Dre.",
|
|
"Harriet Tubman underboob.",
|
|
"Having a big toe for all of your toes.",
|
|
"Having a big toe for all ten toes.",
|
|
"Immediate regret.",
|
|
"Ironic facial hair.",
|
|
"Junk in the trunk.",
|
|
"Kitten mittens.",
|
|
"Lena Dunham's voluptuous muffin top.",
|
|
"Literally fucking the shit out of someone.",
|
|
"Love.",
|
|
"Luigi's inferiority complex.",
|
|
"Male pattern baldness on a female.",
|
|
"Masking failures with religion.",
|
|
"Masturbating in the produce section.",
|
|
"Methin' around.",
|
|
"Michael Cera finally hitting puberty,",
|
|
"Mistaking sriracha for contact lens solution.",
|
|
"Movie theater handjobs.",
|
|
"My windowless white van.",
|
|
"Naked sumo jello wrestling.",
|
|
"Not playing this game because you're Mormon.",
|
|
"Overdosing on life.",
|
|
"Owen Wilson's nose.",
|
|
"Pineapple-infused cum.",
|
|
"Poking a fatty on Facebook.",
|
|
"Premature defecation.",
|
|
"Pulling the plug.",
|
|
"Shotgunning a Four Loco®, Bro!",
|
|
"Shotgunning a Four Loko, bro!",
|
|
"Showing that bitch a whole new world.",
|
|
"Simultaneous diarrhea and vomiting.",
|
|
"Simultaneous diarrhea and vomitting.",
|
|
"Sniffing scented markers for a quick fix.",
|
|
"Snorting the fine line between genius and insanity.",
|
|
"Sober sex.",
|
|
"Some type of palsy.",
|
|
"Someone who looks retarded but isn't.",
|
|
"Stinging urination.",
|
|
"Taking our jobs.",
|
|
"The antidote.",
|
|
"The douchebag whose humor consists solely of quoting movies, expecially Anchorman.",
|
|
"The ever-worsening wrath of the hangover gods.",
|
|
"The Flying Spaghetti Monster.",
|
|
"The Human Centipede: infinity edition.",
|
|
"The Itty Bitty Titty Committee.",
|
|
"The little bastard kicking the back of your airplane seat while his parents do absolutely fucking nothing.",
|
|
"The restraining order.",
|
|
"The secret sauce on my mystery meat.",
|
|
"The sound of stirring macaroni and cheese.",
|
|
"The TSA guy stroking it to your naked body scan in the back room.",
|
|
"The worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen.",
|
|
"This shit again.",
|
|
"Wiping back to front.",
|
|
"#occupy or #octopi, whichever",
|
|
"Abraham Lincoln's ghost",
|
|
"Acid rain",
|
|
"Adult cartoons",
|
|
"Al Gore",
|
|
"Albino alligators",
|
|
"Alcoholic beverages",
|
|
"Alien abductions",
|
|
"Alien technology",
|
|
"All human life",
|
|
"Amazon®",
|
|
"Amendments and Commandments, whichever",
|
|
"American flags",
|
|
"Ancient artifacts",
|
|
"Animal testing labs",
|
|
"Anonymous",
|
|
"Anthrax or ant tracks, whichever",
|
|
"Anti-whale sonar",
|
|
"Antiwar activists",
|
|
"Apple®",
|
|
"Area 51",
|
|
"Arms dealers",
|
|
"Artifical sweeteners",
|
|
"Artificial intelligences",
|
|
"Augmented reality",
|
|
"Australia",
|
|
"Backwards recordings",
|
|
"Bad public art",
|
|
"Bar codes",
|
|
"Barack Obama",
|
|
"Benefit concerts",
|
|
"Big Media",
|
|
"Big Oil",
|
|
"Big summer movies",
|
|
"Big Tobacco",
|
|
"Bill Clinton",
|
|
"Bill Gates",
|
|
"Bird flu",
|
|
"Bitcoin",
|
|
"Black cards",
|
|
"Black helicopters",
|
|
"Black ops",
|
|
"Bloggers",
|
|
"Blue states",
|
|
"Body odor",
|
|
"Brain transplants",
|
|
"Brazil",
|
|
"Breakfast cereal",
|
|
"Bribery",
|
|
"Bullfrogs",
|
|
"Bumper stickers",
|
|
"Bureaucrats",
|
|
"Buzzwords",
|
|
"Cable TV",
|
|
"California",
|
|
"Canada",
|
|
"Candy manufacturers",
|
|
"Cattle mutilators",
|
|
"Celebrity spokesmodels",
|
|
"Cellular towers",
|
|
"Chemical warfare",
|
|
"Chemtrails",
|
|
"Child abuse",
|
|
"Children",
|
|
"China",
|
|
"Chinese instructions in our electronic equipment",
|
|
"Chris Christie",
|
|
"Christmas",
|
|
"Cigarette package warnings",
|
|
"Civil War II",
|
|
"Clones",
|
|
"Cocaine",
|
|
"Coded tweets",
|
|
"Coffee",
|
|
"Comic books",
|
|
"Concealed weapons",
|
|
"Congress",
|
|
"Console games",
|
|
"Conspiracy theorists",
|
|
"Convenience stores",
|
|
"Corruption",
|
|
"Cover bands or cover-ups, whichever",
|
|
"Craft beer",
|
|
"Crazy talk",
|
|
"Creation science",
|
|
"Cult leaders",
|
|
"Cyborg killers",
|
|
"Cycle gangs",
|
|
"Day care",
|
|
"Dead voters",
|
|
"Death",
|
|
"Deus Vult!",
|
|
"Dick Cheney",
|
|
"Direct-to-video sequels",
|
|
"Dollar bils",
|
|
"Donald Trump Blow Up Dolls.",
|
|
"Drone missiles",
|
|
"Drug factories",
|
|
"Duct tape",
|
|
"E-cigarettes",
|
|
"Earthquake projectors",
|
|
"eBay®",
|
|
"Ebola",
|
|
"Eco-guerillas",
|
|
"El Nino",
|
|
"Embezzling",
|
|
"Enemies or enemas, whichever",
|
|
"Energy drinks",
|
|
"England",
|
|
"Eternal night",
|
|
"Executive orders or execution orders, whichever",
|
|
"Exercise or exorcism, whichever",
|
|
"Explosive runes or runs, whichever",
|
|
"Facebook® ads",
|
|
"Fact checkers",
|
|
"Fake charities",
|
|
"Fake moon landings",
|
|
"Fake news",
|
|
"False advertising",
|
|
"False flag operations",
|
|
"Family values",
|
|
"Fanatics",
|
|
"Fast food",
|
|
"Federal aid",
|
|
"Federal budgeting",
|
|
"Federal law",
|
|
"Files or flies, whichever",
|
|
"Flaming apparitions",
|
|
"Flesh-eating bacteria",
|
|
"Flower power",
|
|
"Flying saucers",
|
|
"Flying submarines",
|
|
"Flyover states",
|
|
"Forbidden rituals",
|
|
"foreign aid",
|
|
"Foreign parts or foreign particles, whichever",
|
|
"Form 1040",
|
|
"Fox News®",
|
|
"Fracking",
|
|
"France",
|
|
"Frankenfood",
|
|
"Free beer",
|
|
"Freud or fraud, whichever",
|
|
"Gamers",
|
|
"Gay marriage",
|
|
"Gene testing",
|
|
"Generation Xers",
|
|
"Genetically modified organisms",
|
|
"George H.W. Bush",
|
|
"George W. Bush",
|
|
"Global warming",
|
|
"Google®",
|
|
"Grassroots support",
|
|
"Greenhouse gas",
|
|
"Guerillas or gorillas, whichever",
|
|
"Gun control activists",
|
|
"Guns",
|
|
"H. Ross Perot",
|
|
"Hackers",
|
|
"Hashtag activism",
|
|
"Head transplants",
|
|
"Heartless extortion",
|
|
"Hillary Clinton",
|
|
"Hints and allegations",
|
|
"Hipsters",
|
|
"Hitler",
|
|
"Hitler's brain",
|
|
"Hollywood",
|
|
"Holy water",
|
|
"Homeland Security",
|
|
"Hotel room Bibles",
|
|
"Huge walls",
|
|
"Human sacrifice",
|
|
"Human shields",
|
|
"Hurricanes",
|
|
"Hush money",
|
|
"Identity theft",
|
|
"Idiots",
|
|
"Illegal immigrants",
|
|
"Income inequality",
|
|
"Incriminating photos",
|
|
"Insurance fraud",
|
|
"Intelligence tests",
|
|
"Intelligent design",
|
|
"Internet porn",
|
|
"Invasive species",
|
|
"iPhones®",
|
|
"Iranian nukes",
|
|
"Israel",
|
|
"Jackbooted thugs",
|
|
"Japan",
|
|
"Jimmy Carter",
|
|
"Junk food",
|
|
"Junk mail",
|
|
"Junk science",
|
|
"Junk websites",
|
|
"Kiler bees",
|
|
"Kneecapping",
|
|
"Land mines or gold mines, whichever",
|
|
"Las Vegas",
|
|
"Laser sharks",
|
|
"Law and order",
|
|
"Lawsuits",
|
|
"Lead in the water",
|
|
"Lepers or leopards, whichever",
|
|
"Lies",
|
|
"Life",
|
|
"Lizards impersonating humans",
|
|
"Local school boards",
|
|
"Lone gunmen",
|
|
"Low-carb diets",
|
|
"Madison Avenue",
|
|
"Malicious Wikipedia® edits",
|
|
"Market manipulation",
|
|
"Mars rovers",
|
|
"Martial law",
|
|
"Mas executions",
|
|
"Masive spam campaigns",
|
|
"Mass deportations",
|
|
"Mass destruction or mass distraction, whichever",
|
|
"Mass hallucinations",
|
|
"Mattress tags",
|
|
"Medical marijuana clincs",
|
|
"Medicare",
|
|
"Memes",
|
|
"Men in Black",
|
|
"Mercenaries",
|
|
"Mexican cartels",
|
|
"Microsoft®",
|
|
"Midnight tweets",
|
|
"Military dolphins",
|
|
"Militias",
|
|
"Millenials",
|
|
"Missile silos",
|
|
"Money laundering",
|
|
"My pocket Constitution",
|
|
"NAFTA",
|
|
"Napoleon",
|
|
"NASA",
|
|
"NATO",
|
|
"Nazis",
|
|
"Nerve gas",
|
|
"Nervous laughter",
|
|
"Newsweek® or news leaks, whichever",
|
|
"Newt Gingrich",
|
|
"Ninjas",
|
|
"Nobel prizes",
|
|
"North Korea",
|
|
"NPR",
|
|
"Nuclear testing",
|
|
"Obamacare",
|
|
"Obscene profits",
|
|
"Offshore banks",
|
|
"Oil spills",
|
|
"Ones and zeroes",
|
|
"OPEC",
|
|
"Orbital mind control lasers",
|
|
"Organic foods",
|
|
"Osama or Obama, whichever",
|
|
"Paparazzi",
|
|
"Paranoids",
|
|
"Peanut butter",
|
|
"Pesticides",
|
|
"PETA",
|
|
"Pi or pie, whichever",
|
|
"Pirate radio stations",
|
|
"Plutonium",
|
|
"Polls",
|
|
"Pollsters",
|
|
"Prefessional sports",
|
|
"Preppers or preppies, whichever",
|
|
"Prince Charles",
|
|
"Prosecutors or persecutors, whichever",
|
|
"Psychiatrists",
|
|
"Public libraries",
|
|
"Public toilets",
|
|
"Purple states",
|
|
"Pyramid schemes",
|
|
"Queen Elizabeth II",
|
|
"Radio-sensitive tooth fillings",
|
|
"Random attacks",
|
|
"Reality TV",
|
|
"Red and blue pills",
|
|
"Red light cameras",
|
|
"Red mercury",
|
|
"Red states",
|
|
"Regime change",
|
|
"Revolution",
|
|
"Rigged elections",
|
|
"Road rage",
|
|
"Robocalls",
|
|
"Robot sea monsters",
|
|
"Russia",
|
|
"Russian spies",
|
|
"Sanctuary cities",
|
|
"Sarah Palin",
|
|
"Satanists",
|
|
"Saturday Night Live®",
|
|
"Scary clowns",
|
|
"School prayer",
|
|
"Science deniers",
|
|
"Second Amendment activists",
|
|
"Secret campaign donors",
|
|
"Secret government files or flies, whichever",
|
|
"Secret police",
|
|
"Secret underground bunkers or debunkers, whichever",
|
|
"Self-driving cars",
|
|
"Serial killers",
|
|
"Seven secret herbs and spices",
|
|
"Shock jocks",
|
|
"Shooters or sliders, whichever",
|
|
"Silicon Valley",
|
|
"Skools that don't teech speling",
|
|
"Slave-labor factories",
|
|
"Slush funds",
|
|
"Smart bombs or smart phones, whichever",
|
|
"Smoking bans",
|
|
"Smuggling tunnels",
|
|
"Soft drinks",
|
|
"Sovereign citizens",
|
|
"Soy products",
|
|
"Spin doctors",
|
|
"Spontaneous combustion",
|
|
"Spy satellites",
|
|
"Stalkers",
|
|
"Starbucks®",
|
|
"Stem cells or STEM courses, whichever",
|
|
"Stephen Hawking",
|
|
"Subliminal messages",
|
|
"Suicide bombers",
|
|
"Suitcase nukes",
|
|
"Superheroes",
|
|
"Supervillians",
|
|
"Sushi",
|
|
"SWAT teams",
|
|
"Swine flu",
|
|
"Tabloid papers",
|
|
"Talk radio",
|
|
"Targeted meteor strikes",
|
|
"Tax \"reform\"",
|
|
"Tax resisters",
|
|
"Ted Cruz or Tom Cruise, whichever",
|
|
"Telephone psychics",
|
|
"Terrorists",
|
|
"Texas",
|
|
"The 1%",
|
|
"The 1% of the 1%",
|
|
"The administration or abomination, whichever",
|
|
"The airlines",
|
|
"The all-seeing eye",
|
|
"The alt-right",
|
|
"The Antichrist",
|
|
"The Ark of the Covenant",
|
|
"The Bavarian Illuminati",
|
|
"The Better Business Bureau",
|
|
"The billionaires",
|
|
"The bomb",
|
|
"The Boy Scouts",
|
|
"The Centers for Disease Control",
|
|
"The Chief Justice",
|
|
"The Church of Elvis",
|
|
"The CIA",
|
|
"The conservative media",
|
|
"The criminal justice system",
|
|
"The Crystal Skull",
|
|
"The Deep State or the Deep Ones, whichever",
|
|
"The Democrats",
|
|
"The Druids",
|
|
"The Electoral College",
|
|
"The end of the world",
|
|
"The EPA",
|
|
"The European Union",
|
|
"The FBI",
|
|
"The Federal Reserve",
|
|
"The gold standard",
|
|
"The gospel of prosperity",
|
|
"The Green Party",
|
|
"The gun lobby",
|
|
"The health food lobby",
|
|
"The Holy Grail",
|
|
"The idiocracy",
|
|
"The Internet",
|
|
"The Internet of Things",
|
|
"The IRS",
|
|
"The liberal media",
|
|
"The Libertarian Party",
|
|
"The Loch Ness Monster",
|
|
"The Mafia",
|
|
"The Man",
|
|
"The medical lobby",
|
|
"The military-industrial complex",
|
|
"The Moral Minority",
|
|
"The national debt",
|
|
"The National Guard",
|
|
"The National Security or Insecurity Advisor, whichever",
|
|
"The Necronomicon",
|
|
"The Northern Lights",
|
|
"The NSA",
|
|
"The nuclear football",
|
|
"The nuclear power companies",
|
|
"The Pentagon",
|
|
"The phone company",
|
|
"The Pope",
|
|
"The Post Office",
|
|
"The President of the United States",
|
|
"The recording industry",
|
|
"The Republicans",
|
|
"The Russian mob",
|
|
"The secret court system",
|
|
"The secret moon base",
|
|
"The Secret Service",
|
|
"The Secretary-General of the UN",
|
|
"The shadow government",
|
|
"The Shroud of Turin",
|
|
"The Supreme Court",
|
|
"The truth",
|
|
"The U.S. Chamber of Commerce or Horrors, whichever",
|
|
"The United Nations",
|
|
"The Warsaw Pact",
|
|
"Them new-fangled moving pictures",
|
|
"Third Amendment activists",
|
|
"This game",
|
|
"Those bar codes on the back of highway signs",
|
|
"Tiny but fierce aliens",
|
|
"Tl;dr",
|
|
"Tooth decay",
|
|
"Toxic waste",
|
|
"Trekkies",
|
|
"TV preachers",
|
|
"TV repairmen",
|
|
"Twitter®",
|
|
"Uber®",
|
|
"Uber® drivers",
|
|
"Ultrasound photos",
|
|
"Unconventional typography",
|
|
"Unindicted co-conspirators",
|
|
"Universal surveillance",
|
|
"Urban legends",
|
|
"Vaccinations",
|
|
"VAT",
|
|
"Vegans",
|
|
"Vegetarians or humanitarians, whichever",
|
|
"Vladminir Putin",
|
|
"Vle secretions",
|
|
"Voodoo",
|
|
"Wal-Mart®",
|
|
"Wall Street",
|
|
"Warren Buffett",
|
|
"Washington",
|
|
"Whistleblowers",
|
|
"White cards",
|
|
"Wikipedia®",
|
|
"Wind turbines",
|
|
"Wiretapping",
|
|
"World hunger",
|
|
"World jihad",
|
|
"World War III",
|
|
"Wrong numbers",
|
|
"XXX-rated movies",
|
|
"Your local police",
|
|
"Your reflection",
|
|
"YouTube® videos",
|
|
"Zero tolerance",
|
|
"Zika",
|
|
"2.5 kids.",
|
|
"A baby carrier.",
|
|
"A baby.",
|
|
"A big glass of wine.",
|
|
"A breast pump.",
|
|
"A bucket of hand sanitizer.",
|
|
"A car seat.",
|
|
"A cigar.",
|
|
"A condom.",
|
|
"A day at the spa.",
|
|
"A day in bed.",
|
|
"A diaper bag.",
|
|
"A diaper changing strait jacket.",
|
|
"A doula.",
|
|
"A far, far away place.",
|
|
"A fat baby.",
|
|
"A freezer full of pizza.",
|
|
"A giant cup of coffee.",
|
|
"A glow.",
|
|
"A Greek God.",
|
|
"A hot doctor.",
|
|
"A menstraul cup.",
|
|
"A midwife.",
|
|
"A mucous plug.",
|
|
"A nursing bra.",
|
|
"A paternity test.",
|
|
"A penis.",
|
|
"A personal massager.",
|
|
"A pocket diaper.",
|
|
"A punch in one's own face.",
|
|
"A rabid baby-eating raccoon.",
|
|
"A reality tv host saying, \"You are NOT the father.\"",
|
|
"A rectal thermometer.",
|
|
"A red light.",
|
|
"A shark riding an eagle.",
|
|
"A small bottle of bourbon.",
|
|
"A Snocksucker.",
|
|
"A surrogate.",
|
|
"A tiny butt.",
|
|
"A tiny, crying boob-eating monster.",
|
|
"A turkey baster.",
|
|
"A used condom.",
|
|
"A vaginal exam.",
|
|
"A water birth.",
|
|
"A wrecking ball.",
|
|
"An all-in-one.",
|
|
"An amber necklace.",
|
|
"An entourage.",
|
|
"An IUD.",
|
|
"An OBGYN.",
|
|
"An ugly baby.",
|
|
"Anal leakage.",
|
|
"Ate a diaper.",
|
|
"Bacon!",
|
|
"Balloons.",
|
|
"Balls.",
|
|
"Being a baby wizard!",
|
|
"Birth control.",
|
|
"Boobs.",
|
|
"Breastfeeding.",
|
|
"Butt balm.",
|
|
"Carbucketty.",
|
|
"Change a diaper.",
|
|
"Choking the next person that asks what my due date is.",
|
|
"Co-sleeping.",
|
|
"Coconut oil.",
|
|
"Comments on the internet.",
|
|
"Constipation.",
|
|
"Crack.",
|
|
"Crowning.",
|
|
"Crying.",
|
|
"Diaper liners.",
|
|
"Diaper sprayer.",
|
|
"Diapering.",
|
|
"Dirty Diaper Laundry.",
|
|
"Dropping the baby.",
|
|
"Eating it.",
|
|
"Eating my placenta.",
|
|
"Edible diapers.",
|
|
"Essential oils.",
|
|
"Estrogen.",
|
|
"Everything.",
|
|
"Explosive diarrhea.",
|
|
"Flowers.",
|
|
"Fluffy animals.",
|
|
"Forceps.",
|
|
"Foreplay.",
|
|
"Getting a vasectomy.",
|
|
"Getting peed on.",
|
|
"Getting throat punched.",
|
|
"Giving birth in a mountain stream.",
|
|
"Hemorrhoids.",
|
|
"Hiding a stash of dark chocolate.",
|
|
"Humpday.",
|
|
"Ice cream.",
|
|
"immaculate manliness",
|
|
"Infectious disease.",
|
|
"Jaundice.",
|
|
"Jerry Springer.",
|
|
"Jump from the Empire State Building.",
|
|
"Justin Bieber.",
|
|
"Labor.",
|
|
"Lactation.",
|
|
"Laughing until you pee.",
|
|
"Leftovers.",
|
|
"Liver and onions.",
|
|
"Lots of therapy.",
|
|
"Making babies.",
|
|
"Menstraul pads.",
|
|
"Menstruation.",
|
|
"Mom jeans.",
|
|
"Morning sickness.",
|
|
"morning wood",
|
|
"Moves like Jagger.",
|
|
"My best friend.",
|
|
"My brother.",
|
|
"My dad.",
|
|
"My lover.",
|
|
"My mom.",
|
|
"My mother-in-law.",
|
|
"My partner.",
|
|
"My sister.",
|
|
"My vagina.",
|
|
"Nipple butter.",
|
|
"Nipple stimulation.",
|
|
"Oprah.",
|
|
"Painkillers.",
|
|
"Poop on a stick.",
|
|
"Poop spray.",
|
|
"Poop.",
|
|
"Pooping out of frustration.",
|
|
"Pregnancy brain.",
|
|
"Projectile vomit.",
|
|
"Pubic hair.",
|
|
"Put breastmilk on it.",
|
|
"Rabies.",
|
|
"Rancid breastmilk.",
|
|
"Rubber pants.",
|
|
"Sardines.",
|
|
"Seedy poop.",
|
|
"Sex with my husband.",
|
|
"Sex.",
|
|
"Sleep.",
|
|
"Sleeping on the couch.",
|
|
"Slime of questionable origin.",
|
|
"Slimy poop.",
|
|
"Small blood clots.",
|
|
"Smuggling mesh underwear.",
|
|
"Snoring.",
|
|
"Soiled diapers.",
|
|
"Squiritng breast milk across the room.",
|
|
"Squirting breastmilk.",
|
|
"Stealing samples from the hospital.",
|
|
"Stretch marks.",
|
|
"Swaddle",
|
|
"Tampons.",
|
|
"Tape.",
|
|
"Teething.",
|
|
"Thank you notes.",
|
|
"That sticky spot on my jeans.",
|
|
"The 5 S's.",
|
|
"The Duggars.",
|
|
"The heart of a child.",
|
|
"The longest pee.",
|
|
"The milk man's baby.",
|
|
"The most expensive one.",
|
|
"The Placenta.",
|
|
"The real father.",
|
|
"The stork.",
|
|
"Throw Up.",
|
|
"Throwing my pie for you.",
|
|
"Thumb sucking.",
|
|
"Thunder from down under.",
|
|
"Tiny terrorists.",
|
|
"Triplets.",
|
|
"Twins.",
|
|
"Vaginal rejuvenation surgery.",
|
|
"Varicose veins.",
|
|
"Week old tuna.",
|
|
"Weird sex dreams.",
|
|
"Wipes.",
|
|
"World's okayest Mom.",
|
|
"Yeast.",
|
|
"(Sleeping Beauty's curse) A magical prick",
|
|
"A babe in the woods",
|
|
"A backside grind",
|
|
"A beer bottle",
|
|
"A black hole",
|
|
"A blind lip reader",
|
|
"A bombshell",
|
|
"A booty call",
|
|
"A bun in the oven",
|
|
"A burning sensation in an awkward place",
|
|
"A cavity",
|
|
"A celebrity sex tape",
|
|
"A climax",
|
|
"A coming out party",
|
|
"A contortionist",
|
|
"A court-appointed psychiatrist",
|
|
"A cracker",
|
|
"A cute little pussy",
|
|
"A disgraced politician",
|
|
"A disturbance in the Force",
|
|
"A dominatrix",
|
|
"A fairy",
|
|
"A festering wound",
|
|
"A fire in the hole",
|
|
"A foot fetish",
|
|
"A frisky televangelist",
|
|
"A gigolo",
|
|
"A girls' night out",
|
|
"A good bottle of scotch",
|
|
"A groin pull",
|
|
"A handyman",
|
|
"A hangover",
|
|
"A happy ending",
|
|
"A hard of hearing ex body builder masseuse",
|
|
"A hole in one",
|
|
"A horny toad",
|
|
"A hot rod",
|
|
"A hotel room that just doesn't smell right",
|
|
"A jar of Vaseline",
|
|
"A Kardashian",
|
|
"A Ken doll",
|
|
"A little \"alone time\"",
|
|
"A little camel toe",
|
|
"A little crack",
|
|
"A little squirt",
|
|
"A little tongue in cheek",
|
|
"A load of BS",
|
|
"A long range missile",
|
|
"A long shaft",
|
|
"A long Slip 'n' Slide",
|
|
"A lovely bunch of coconuts",
|
|
"A member of the Village People",
|
|
"A mountain of credit card debt",
|
|
"A naughty girl",
|
|
"A nice big cucumber",
|
|
"A nice little drone strike",
|
|
"A night without Lindsey Lohan",
|
|
"A no longer dormant volcano",
|
|
"A noted aphrodisiac",
|
|
"A nymphomaniac",
|
|
"A pearl necklace",
|
|
"A peeping Tom",
|
|
"A porn star",
|
|
"A priest",
|
|
"A racist family member",
|
|
"A real boob",
|
|
"A sack full of grapes",
|
|
"A selfie",
|
|
"A sex machine",
|
|
"A sexually transmitted disease",
|
|
"A shotgun weding",
|
|
"A six pack",
|
|
"A slave",
|
|
"A slip of the tongue",
|
|
"A smelly dump",
|
|
"A spanking",
|
|
"A stiff upper lip",
|
|
"A stimulus package",
|
|
"A strip club",
|
|
"A stripper",
|
|
"A stud",
|
|
"A swallow",
|
|
"A swimsuit model",
|
|
"A sword swallower",
|
|
"A thick carpet of black hair",
|
|
"A tree hugger",
|
|
"A virgin",
|
|
"A white hot something or other",
|
|
"A whole lot of love",
|
|
"Acid flashbacks",
|
|
"Affirmative Action",
|
|
"Afternoon delight",
|
|
"Airing dirty laundry",
|
|
"America's sweetheart",
|
|
"An anatomically correct snowman",
|
|
"An excessive \"man crush\"",
|
|
"An experiment gone horribly wrong",
|
|
"An identity crisis",
|
|
"An orifice",
|
|
"An over enthusiastic proctologist",
|
|
"An over-used port-a-potty",
|
|
"Androids",
|
|
"Angel wing tattoos",
|
|
"Animal magnetism",
|
|
"Another unnecessary Die Hard sequel",
|
|
"Artificial insemination",
|
|
"Asking your doctor is you're healthy enough for sexual activity",
|
|
"Backsliding",
|
|
"Bacon panties to stop rape in the Middle East.",
|
|
"Badly-botched botox",
|
|
"Banging away",
|
|
"Beating a dead horse",
|
|
"Beavers",
|
|
"Becoming comfortably numb",
|
|
"Beer, glorious beer",
|
|
"Being a sore loser",
|
|
"Being blown away",
|
|
"Being butt naked",
|
|
"Being debriefed",
|
|
"Being inflamed",
|
|
"Being on top",
|
|
"Being sent to the penalty box",
|
|
"Being titillated",
|
|
"Bieng handy",
|
|
"Bieng up and coming",
|
|
"Big balls",
|
|
"Big bosoms",
|
|
"Big feet",
|
|
"Big hair",
|
|
"Big lips",
|
|
"Bill Clinton's favorite: good sax",
|
|
"Binge drinking",
|
|
"Black magic",
|
|
"Blackmail",
|
|
"Blowing it",
|
|
"Body language",
|
|
"Body painting",
|
|
"Bonding with my Roomba.",
|
|
"Bottoms",
|
|
"Boy bands",
|
|
"Bradley Cooper",
|
|
"Breaking wind",
|
|
"Breast-feeding",
|
|
"Bromance",
|
|
"Bruised bananas",
|
|
"Bull riding",
|
|
"Bunny costumes",
|
|
"Bush",
|
|
"Butting in",
|
|
"Catwoman",
|
|
"Ceiling mirrors",
|
|
"Changing positions",
|
|
"Cheesy pickup lines",
|
|
"Chemical dependency",
|
|
"Chick flicks with ridiculous endings",
|
|
"Chicks",
|
|
"Cleavage",
|
|
"Clothing that leaves little to the imagination",
|
|
"Cold hard cash",
|
|
"Come again",
|
|
"Coming first",
|
|
"Coming soon",
|
|
"Coming together",
|
|
"Conjugal visits",
|
|
"Contributing to the delinquency of a minor",
|
|
"Cougars",
|
|
"Crabs Adjust Humidity.",
|
|
"Dark chocolate",
|
|
"Dating outside my race",
|
|
"Death by chocolate",
|
|
"Deciding to become a professional wrestler",
|
|
"Diving on the grenade",
|
|
"Dogs in little sweaters",
|
|
"Doing it by hand",
|
|
"Doing it the hard way",
|
|
"Domestic intelligence gathering",
|
|
"Donald Trump's hair",
|
|
"Downward dog",
|
|
"Driving a hard bargain",
|
|
"Eating out",
|
|
"Ecstasy",
|
|
"Evil clowns",
|
|
"Evil laughter",
|
|
"Eye candy",
|
|
"Faking it",
|
|
"Fast food chain restaurant",
|
|
"Faux leopard print",
|
|
"Feeling a little prick",
|
|
"Feeling the earth move",
|
|
"Fifty Shades of Grey",
|
|
"Fingering the bad guy",
|
|
"Fishnets",
|
|
"Flatulent hippos",
|
|
"Flogging",
|
|
"Fox news anchors.",
|
|
"Fruits",
|
|
"Funny cat videos",
|
|
"George Clooney",
|
|
"Getting a facial",
|
|
"Getting a hot tip",
|
|
"Getting a little behind",
|
|
"Getting a swelled head",
|
|
"Getting aroused by mannequins",
|
|
"Getting caught with your fingers in the pie",
|
|
"Getting in touch with my feminine side",
|
|
"Getting into a rhythm",
|
|
"Getting jerked around",
|
|
"Getting off",
|
|
"Getting on top",
|
|
"Getting over the hump",
|
|
"Getting probed by aliens",
|
|
"Getting sloppy drunk",
|
|
"Getting sweaty",
|
|
"Getting tested for an STD",
|
|
"Getting the juices flowing",
|
|
"Getting tied up",
|
|
"Getting wet",
|
|
"Girls with glasses",
|
|
"Girly drinks",
|
|
"Giving lip service",
|
|
"Giving someone the shaft",
|
|
"Global warming.",
|
|
"Going ballistic",
|
|
"Going down",
|
|
"Going in head first",
|
|
"Going in the back door",
|
|
"Going on a blind date with someone who is described as \"really nice\"",
|
|
"Going to great lengths",
|
|
"Good vibrations",
|
|
"Grinning and bearing it",
|
|
"Handcuffs",
|
|
"Hanky-Panky",
|
|
"Having a couple of stiff ones",
|
|
"Having a hot dream about a co-worker",
|
|
"Having someone push in your stool for you",
|
|
"Having to go really bad",
|
|
"Heavy breathing",
|
|
"Helping yourself",
|
|
"Hillary Clinton attending Donald Trump's wedding.",
|
|
"Hitting the sack",
|
|
"Hookers",
|
|
"Hot cross buns",
|
|
"Hot Sauce",
|
|
"Hottubbing",
|
|
"Hump day",
|
|
"Jailbait.",
|
|
"James Bond",
|
|
"Jazz hands",
|
|
"Jell-O shots",
|
|
"Jennifer Lawrence",
|
|
"Juicy round melons",
|
|
"Just a little bit inside",
|
|
"Just haning out",
|
|
"Justin Timberlake",
|
|
"Karma",
|
|
"Keeping it up",
|
|
"Kim Jong-un",
|
|
"Kinky porn",
|
|
"Knowing that some stereotypes are true",
|
|
"Ladyfingers",
|
|
"Landing strips",
|
|
"Large jugs",
|
|
"Lattes",
|
|
"Lawyers",
|
|
"Leather",
|
|
"Leprechauns",
|
|
"Lesbians Confessions",
|
|
"Licking a popsicle",
|
|
"Licking my lips",
|
|
"Lifting and separating",
|
|
"Lingerie",
|
|
"Liquor",
|
|
"Little people",
|
|
"Little yappy dogs",
|
|
"Long John Silver",
|
|
"Loose lips",
|
|
"Loud banging",
|
|
"Love bites",
|
|
"Low impact aerobics",
|
|
"Low-grade narcolepsy",
|
|
"Low-hanging fruit",
|
|
"Lumberjacks",
|
|
"Magic fingers",
|
|
"Make-up sex",
|
|
"Making it harder than it needs to be",
|
|
"Male enhancement pills",
|
|
"Manhood",
|
|
"Men in uniform",
|
|
"Miley Cyrus at 55.",
|
|
"Missionary",
|
|
"Motorboating",
|
|
"Mr. Spock",
|
|
"My \"ex\"",
|
|
"My boyfriend's stupid penis.",
|
|
"My experiences with underage drinking",
|
|
"My finger on the button",
|
|
"My fingers",
|
|
"My fist",
|
|
"My former BFF",
|
|
"My hot neighbor",
|
|
"My incredibly flexible yoga instructor",
|
|
"My junk",
|
|
"My magic awand",
|
|
"My mouth",
|
|
"My partner",
|
|
"My secret identity",
|
|
"My tongue",
|
|
"My virginity",
|
|
"My worst enemy",
|
|
"Nelson Mandela",
|
|
"Nice knockers",
|
|
"Night moves",
|
|
"None of your business",
|
|
"Not knowing when you're licked",
|
|
"Not lasting long enough",
|
|
"Nuts",
|
|
"Obamacare.",
|
|
"Oddly-shaped feet",
|
|
"One of those trashy reality TV shows about catty women.",
|
|
"Orphans",
|
|
"Partying with Charlie Sheen",
|
|
"Passion fruit",
|
|
"Pickup artist",
|
|
"Playing fast and loose",
|
|
"Playing for the other team",
|
|
"Playing the organ",
|
|
"Playing the race card.",
|
|
"Poking a hole",
|
|
"Prescription drugs",
|
|
"Prom night",
|
|
"Prostitution",
|
|
"Public nudity",
|
|
"Pulling an all-nighter",
|
|
"Reaching out and touching someone",
|
|
"Really long fingernails",
|
|
"Really screwing somebody",
|
|
"Releasing gas in a crowd",
|
|
"Riding bareback",
|
|
"road rage",
|
|
"Robert Mugabe",
|
|
"Romantic candlelight",
|
|
"Running out of toilet paper in an airline lavatory",
|
|
"S & M",
|
|
"Same sex marriage",
|
|
"Santa Claus teabagging a sleeping child, taking a picture and leaving it in the child's stocking.",
|
|
"Sarah Palin at Toastmasters™.",
|
|
"Sausage fests",
|
|
"Scissoring, if that's a thing.",
|
|
"Scratching an itch",
|
|
"Searching for a black box",
|
|
"Selling hot dogs",
|
|
"Sending a strippergram to the wrong address",
|
|
"Shrinkage",
|
|
"Sir Lancelot",
|
|
"Sitting on the throne",
|
|
"Skinny dipping The inevitable zombie apocalypse",
|
|
"Skinny jeans",
|
|
"Sliding in head first",
|
|
"Snap-on tools",
|
|
"Sofia Vergara",
|
|
"Some coconut-scented body lotion",
|
|
"Something fishy",
|
|
"Something frilly",
|
|
"Something furry",
|
|
"Something pink",
|
|
"Something really hard",
|
|
"Something smellier than a high schooler's gym shorts on Friday",
|
|
"Something stiff",
|
|
"Spouting off",
|
|
"Squishy things",
|
|
"Standing at attention",
|
|
"Stilettos",
|
|
"Sucking at something",
|
|
"Suppositories",
|
|
"Swearing in sign language",
|
|
"Sweating it out",
|
|
"Sweet nectar of the Gods",
|
|
"Taking a hint",
|
|
"Taking it the wrong way",
|
|
"Taking things into your own hands",
|
|
"Talking dirty",
|
|
"Teeny tiny teddies",
|
|
"Tequila",
|
|
"Terrorists.",
|
|
"That time of the month",
|
|
"The aftertaste of a burp",
|
|
"The Batmobile",
|
|
"The best Congress that money can buy",
|
|
"The biggest one I've ever seen",
|
|
"The birds and the bees",
|
|
"The conservative agenda",
|
|
"The crack of dawn",
|
|
"The death penalty",
|
|
"The Devil's Work",
|
|
"The easter bunny attacking you in your sleep.",
|
|
"The feeble minded",
|
|
"The fragile male ego",
|
|
"The full monty",
|
|
"The gates of Heaven",
|
|
"The hardest one",
|
|
"The homeless",
|
|
"The Karma Sutra",
|
|
"The Koch brothers",
|
|
"The liberal media machine.",
|
|
"The Love Canal",
|
|
"The magic bullet",
|
|
"The meaning of life",
|
|
"The monster under your bed",
|
|
"The perfect little black dress",
|
|
"The poor",
|
|
"The Pope.",
|
|
"The root of all evil",
|
|
"The runs",
|
|
"The sack of Rome",
|
|
"The seven deadly sins",
|
|
"The seven dwarfs",
|
|
"The Tea Party",
|
|
"The unspoken language of love",
|
|
"The Vikings",
|
|
"The whole shebang",
|
|
"Thigh-high boots",
|
|
"Things that are slippery when wet",
|
|
"Thongs",
|
|
"Those people",
|
|
"Tickling your fancy",
|
|
"Tooting your own horn",
|
|
"Tropical cream",
|
|
"Tulips on my organ",
|
|
"Two words: on sale",
|
|
"Undulating",
|
|
"Unnecessary roughness",
|
|
"Uranus",
|
|
"Using more racial slurs than a Quentin Tarantino movie",
|
|
"Victoria's Secret",
|
|
"Vladimir Putin",
|
|
"Waxing",
|
|
"Weapons of Mass Destruction",
|
|
"Wearing clown makeup",
|
|
"When something is up",
|
|
"When the pleasure is all mine",
|
|
"Whipped cream",
|
|
"Whips",
|
|
"White people singing rap lyrics",
|
|
"World religions",
|
|
"Yoga pants as formal wear",
|
|
"Your hands",
|
|
"Your sweet cheeks",
|
|
"2% Milk",
|
|
"A 1970's bush.",
|
|
"A baby registry filled with nothing but elaborate bongs",
|
|
"A bronze-tinted silver spoon.",
|
|
"A desolate outpost somewhere in Afghanistan.",
|
|
"A dotard.",
|
|
"A gratuitous claymation sequence.",
|
|
"A gynaecologist with a sex addiction",
|
|
"A member of the school band",
|
|
"A Mexican Cow Show.",
|
|
"A micropenis so small, it forced the Planck length to be redefined by several orders of magnitude.",
|
|
"A permanent food coma.",
|
|
"A receding hair line.",
|
|
"A sangoma curse.",
|
|
"A swift hoog to the face.",
|
|
"All the different kinds of lesbians.",
|
|
"An erotic dream, an ice cream truck, and a nickel.",
|
|
"An honest politician.",
|
|
"An unexpected donkey punch.",
|
|
"Basic human decency.",
|
|
"Being choked - with love - by your partner.",
|
|
"Being literally to stupid to insult.",
|
|
"Being super serious right now.",
|
|
"Being very concerned about \"The Surgery\" they keep referring to.",
|
|
"Belching out the lyrics to \"Hey Jude.\"",
|
|
"Big vagina.",
|
|
"Binge watching stranger things in sweat pants.",
|
|
"Bisexuality.",
|
|
"Blindfolded",
|
|
"Burn pit headaches and rock-hard freedom boners.",
|
|
"Caitlyn Jenner's tits.",
|
|
"Carnivorous farm animals.",
|
|
"Cleaning up my room",
|
|
"Clown porn.",
|
|
"Cow tipping",
|
|
"Day Drinking with John McEnroe",
|
|
"Dirt button",
|
|
"Donald Trump's worn out toupee.",
|
|
"Drones hurting more innocent children than Jared from Subway.",
|
|
"Dwayne \"The Rock\" Johnson's acting career.",
|
|
"Eating copious amounts of pineapple for sex purposes.",
|
|
"Eating daddy's Viagra",
|
|
"Ellen pretending to be straight",
|
|
"Eloping to a Himalayan mountaintop.",
|
|
"Expired milk.",
|
|
"Farm animals chasing little kids",
|
|
"Finger Fucking",
|
|
"Flexing on some fool.",
|
|
"Flushing tampons.",
|
|
"Fox News.",
|
|
"Fuckboys",
|
|
"Getting a birthday card from your grandmother with no money inside.",
|
|
"Getting in a knockout fight in Walmart.",
|
|
"Getting pegged.",
|
|
"Going back to work to pay for preschool.",
|
|
"Good old-fashioned colonial values",
|
|
"Graeme Henry's toothy smile",
|
|
"Happy daddies with happy sandals.",
|
|
"Harvey Weinstein",
|
|
"Hatin' Pope Francis.",
|
|
"Having a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like",
|
|
"I don't have any good white cards. This one is no exception. The rules state you have to read the card aloud so... I'ma",
|
|
"I have a gun pointed at you underneath the table. If you do not choose this card, this game will be your last. Just smile and slowly",
|
|
"Instagram husbands.",
|
|
"Jared's \"footlong.\"",
|
|
"Joe Biden and Obama's adorable bromance",
|
|
"JonBenet Ramsey",
|
|
"Just to piggyback off what Chief said...",
|
|
"Kellyanne Conway's vibrator",
|
|
"Kim Jong-il.",
|
|
"Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Kendall, and Kylie.",
|
|
"L-shaped flashlight double penetration gape porn.",
|
|
"Learning to play guiar to impress chicks.",
|
|
"Listening to Catching Foxes to feel better about myself.",
|
|
"Little Rocket Man.",
|
|
"Loose Vagina",
|
|
"Man buns.",
|
|
"Michael Cera's pencil thin mustache.",
|
|
"Miley Cyrus with a strap-on.",
|
|
"Milking the family snake.",
|
|
"Mistakingly waving at someone who isn't waving at you.",
|
|
"My level 90 night elf, Leafshit Puddingsbane.",
|
|
"Never pooping alone",
|
|
"No clothes on, penis in vagina.",
|
|
"Patty slappin'.",
|
|
"Penis envy.",
|
|
"Pirate Flags and Eye Patches",
|
|
"Playing grab-ass with your elementary school art teacher.",
|
|
"Restoring Germany to its former glory.",
|
|
"Rich old white men.",
|
|
"Sarah Huckabee Sanders",
|
|
"Scooby snacks™",
|
|
"Sharting during a set of squats.",
|
|
"Shoveling coal.",
|
|
"Shut your mouth and get in line!",
|
|
"Something funny.",
|
|
"Sour lemons",
|
|
"Sriracha.",
|
|
"Staring directly at the the solar Eclilpse without the proper protective glasses.",
|
|
"Sticking a finger up your ass and realizing what you've been missing all your life",
|
|
"Stop talking.",
|
|
"Sweatshop workers.",
|
|
"Sweet revenge.",
|
|
"Taking someone to pound town.",
|
|
"Taylor Swift",
|
|
"Telling Jack she'll never let go and then letting go anyways like a total bitch. There was room on that f*@king door for the both of",
|
|
"the benefits of inbreeding",
|
|
"The duplicitous nature of the meat and dairy industry.",
|
|
"The glue that unifies the force.",
|
|
"Toasting some fools with my sweet ride.",
|
|
"Tricking Marines into forming fake lines.",
|
|
"Tweeting nuclear threats.",
|
|
"Unquestioning obedience.",
|
|
"Upsetting the herd.",
|
|
"Vaginal Hubris",
|
|
"Veganaise",
|
|
"Very stable Genius President",
|
|
"Watching the Exorcist while babysitting.",
|
|
"When I picked my nose as an adult",
|
|
"Winston Peters",
|
|
"You're not my dad",
|
|
"Your dick in my hands",
|
|
"Zero side effects.",
|
|
"1st Sgt's second ex-wife.",
|
|
"A \"Proud Parent of Cannon Fodder\" bumper sticker.",
|
|
"A 4 lb. turd log splash that causes blue shitter water to coat your ass cheeks.",
|
|
"A 98-year-old WWII Vet who still hates the Japanese.",
|
|
"A Benghazi-themed costume party.",
|
|
"A bootpack filled with stupid ass boot stuff.",
|
|
"A bunch of fucking POGs acting like a bunch of fucking POGs.",
|
|
"A burly wookie's camel toe sweat stain.",
|
|
"A captain quoting Sun Tzu like a pretentious cocksucker.",
|
|
"A captain's welfare Beamer.",
|
|
"A Chinese cyber attack on Pornhub that cripples morale across the force.",
|
|
"A chokeslam/NJP combo for telling your drill instructor to fuck his mother.",
|
|
"A clueless Lt watching TED talks on leadership.",
|
|
"A dark green Marine who's hung like a 120mm mortar tube.",
|
|
"A donkey-borne iED.",
|
|
"A fighting hole tugjob.",
|
|
"A Gate 2 Street handjob from an 85-year-old Okinawan mama-san.",
|
|
"A greasy, unshaven dependa FUPA.",
|
|
"A grunt screaming \"MOTHER FUCKER\" for no particular reason.",
|
|
"A Joint Chiefs bukkake biscuit party.",
|
|
"A Memorial Day parade ruined by two drunk Marines fist fighting an elderly woman.",
|
|
"A miscarried deployment pregnancy.",
|
|
"A pimply-face grunt who smells like cheap cologne and grandma pussy.",
|
|
"A plan to kill everyone you meet.",
|
|
"A plate carrier made from beaver pelts sewn together with old lady pubes.",
|
|
"A POG turned Sith Lord.",
|
|
"A Predator delivering fiery death from above.",
|
|
"A product line of cordite-scented sex toys endorsed by \"Fruity\" Rudy Reyes.",
|
|
"A promising post-Corps career at McDonald's.",
|
|
"A questionable Terminal Lance comic that praises global jihad.",
|
|
"A re-enlistment promise that shrivels up and dies.",
|
|
"A sagging pair of lopsided dependa tits.",
|
|
"A salty puddle of Camp Lejeune ball sweat.",
|
|
"A school circle of Geiger Tigers.",
|
|
"A Seaman full of semen.",
|
|
"A slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit.",
|
|
"A Smart Car pacekd with five Marines and a case of Natty Light.",
|
|
"A softer, more ticklish Corps that's powered by unicorn cum.",
|
|
"A SSgt whi is functionally illiterate.",
|
|
"A sucking chest wound.",
|
|
"A suicide awarenes skit that uses penis puppetry.",
|
|
"A Taliban wrestling tournament.",
|
|
"A terrorist puking blood into your mouth.",
|
|
"A thermite grenade stuffed inside a life-sized mannequin of Harry Potter.",
|
|
"A throbbing moto boner.",
|
|
"A totally respectable marriage while on boot camp leave.",
|
|
"A vegan MRE made from raw bell peppers and raccoon fur.",
|
|
"A Vietnam Vet who can still fuck you up.",
|
|
"A water buffalo filled to the brim with pumpkin spice latte and white girl cooze.",
|
|
"A weepy jerk sesh using tears of loneliness while everyone else is on Christmas leave.",
|
|
"A well-hung Afghan child.",
|
|
"A wookie with an MCMAP Black Belt.",
|
|
"A working party composed of best friends making memories and having lots of laughs!",
|
|
"Accidentally propositioning your commander on Grindr.",
|
|
"Accidentally setting the barracks on fire with a hairspray flamethrower.",
|
|
"Actually calling cadence like soe goddamn weirdo.",
|
|
"Afghan sheep who can't say no.",
|
|
"Amphibious operations.",
|
|
"An anatomically correct SECDEF blow-up doll with adjustable vibrating booty hole settings.",
|
|
"An excessively thorough pecker checker.",
|
|
"An intel analyst with a bad case of the Asperger's.",
|
|
"An MRE poop that possesses the density of a small neutron star.",
|
|
"An overly enthusiastic platoon commander.",
|
|
"An SIQ chit for having Down Syndrome.",
|
|
"Androgyunous MARSOC candidates.",
|
|
"Another sexual assault on a Japanese civilian.",
|
|
"Another surprising Osprey crash.",
|
|
"Arriving 15 minutes prior to the 15 minutes prior to the 15 minutes prior.",
|
|
"ASVAB waivers.",
|
|
"Baby oiled Midshipmen playing shirtless volleyball.",
|
|
"Bag nasties.",
|
|
"Barney-style.",
|
|
"Barracks duty on a holiday weekend.",
|
|
"Barracks rats.",
|
|
"BCGs,",
|
|
"Because Gunny said so!",
|
|
"Becoming a broke-dick POG in record time.",
|
|
"Being as useful as tits on a bull.",
|
|
"Being MARSOC as fuck.",
|
|
"Belt-fed erections.",
|
|
"Big truck and tiny cock!",
|
|
"Blaming IEDs on the Jews.",
|
|
"Blown out wooks.",
|
|
"Boot bands.",
|
|
"Bountiful barracks butt stuff.",
|
|
"Breaching a door using a small Afghan child as a hasty battering ram.",
|
|
"Buying new cammies because Gunny said you look like a bag of smashed assholes.",
|
|
"Cacner-ridden children becoming honorary Marines.",
|
|
"Captain-level stupidity.",
|
|
"Carelessly scorching the innocent with Willie Pete.",
|
|
"Carving dicks in stuff with a KA-BAR.",
|
|
"Cherry Point.",
|
|
"Child-borne IEDs.",
|
|
"Chrism smelling laundry soap.",
|
|
"Chugging several canteens filled with hobo cum.",
|
|
"Cleaning your boots with boiled hotdog water.",
|
|
"Combat Jews wearing camo yarmulkes.",
|
|
"Confiscating and burning books.",
|
|
"Cool war trophies and stuff.",
|
|
"Crossing piss streams over the face of a dead haji.",
|
|
"Dead Iraqi children.",
|
|
"DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR!",
|
|
"Death by snu-snu.",
|
|
"Declining SGLI coverage.",
|
|
"Decorating the platoon Christmas tree with tasteless pornaments.",
|
|
"Dedicating your Medal of Honor speech to Harambe the fallen gorilla.",
|
|
"Deflowering a princess.",
|
|
"Denied leave.",
|
|
"Destroying a piece of barracks ass like a JDAM Afghan orphanage.",
|
|
"Diamond-encrusted skates.",
|
|
"Diggin' shit canals and setting them on fire.",
|
|
"Discovering your commander's hidden stash of Jody cuckold porn.",
|
|
"Doc's bottomless stash of Motrin® and foot powder.",
|
|
"Doc's extensive collection of lanced genital warts.",
|
|
"Doc's secret weapon: The Silver Bullet!",
|
|
"Double-tapping the wounded.",
|
|
"Drawing dicks over drawings of dicks.",
|
|
"Dressing like a typical boot.",
|
|
"Ducking under a church pew while mistaking a dependa queef for indirect fire.",
|
|
"Dying of dysentery.",
|
|
"Eating your fat ass out of the Corps.",
|
|
"Every swinging dick.",
|
|
"Executing detainees.",
|
|
"Experiencing a Chipotle blood fart halfway through a PFT.",
|
|
"Explodinating a terrorist's head.",
|
|
"Exploding so dead you're reincarnated into an abortion.",
|
|
"Falling asleep on fire watch.",
|
|
"Falling out of a battalion moto run and receiving the Silver Bullet.",
|
|
"Fallujah.",
|
|
"Fat chicks with a Marine Corps fetish.",
|
|
"Female Marines cycling together and leaking period blood all over the goddamn deck chairs!",
|
|
"Female Marines who shoot better and PT harder than you.",
|
|
"Field chow so bad it gives you tuberculosis of the clitoris.",
|
|
"Field coffee brewed with Caitlyn Jenner's stale tit sweat.",
|
|
"Fighting radical Islam, dude!",
|
|
"Finding nude pics of your mom in a terorist safe house.",
|
|
"Firing for effect.",
|
|
"Fleet Week hook-ups.",
|
|
"FOCUS missionaries.",
|
|
"Frat bro Lts.",
|
|
"Free meal hunting on Veterans' Day.",
|
|
"Fucks in Chucks.",
|
|
"Furry wooks with no-shave chits.",
|
|
"Gender-neutral bathrooms.",
|
|
"General \"Mad Dog\" Mattis",
|
|
"General James Mattis' oiled, rippling abs.",
|
|
"Getting caught up in an NCIS prostitution sting on Camp Leatherneck.",
|
|
"Getting dicked over by the Corps, or how I learned to accept the Digital Dildo.",
|
|
"Getting the DIC in Okinawa.",
|
|
"Good initiative, bad judgment.",
|
|
"Goodnight, Chesty Puller!",
|
|
"Growing a sweet Hitler 'stache on leave.",
|
|
"Hardcore malingering.",
|
|
"Having your dick hole stomped by LtCol Rob Riggle, the OIC of stomping dick holes!",
|
|
"Having zero fucks to give.",
|
|
"Hazing Muslim boots on tumble dry, low heat.",
|
|
"Hazing yourself.",
|
|
"High fiving an Afghan warlord.",
|
|
"High velocity freedom.",
|
|
"Huffing JP-8 out of an empty MRE bag.",
|
|
"IEDs in America. Seriously, WTF?!?",
|
|
"Impregnating Sarah Palin's daughter.",
|
|
"Inappropriately yelling BAMCIS.",
|
|
"Inserting a .50 cal round between your butt cheeks and squeezing.",
|
|
"Intel analyst intensely playing Magic: The Gathering™.",
|
|
"Inviting the Church of Satan to perform an invocation at your court-martial.",
|
|
"IPAC computers that run on grunt tears.",
|
|
"Jarhead 2.",
|
|
"Jody'ing the Jody who Jody'd you.",
|
|
"Killing a man for his jalapeno cheese spread.",
|
|
"Killing bodies hardcore great job!",
|
|
"Knife hand fetish porn.",
|
|
"Laughing at all the fat body Soldiers.",
|
|
"Leacving bottles of piss sitting out for a health and comfort inspection.",
|
|
"Living by the Navy's motto, \"Gay is OK until bedtime!\"",
|
|
"Malaria pills that make your tits fall off.",
|
|
"Man Love Thursdays.",
|
|
"Marine Corps Orders: Spreading the gospel one MARADMIN at a time.",
|
|
"Marine Wife: The \"hardest\" job in the Corps!",
|
|
"Meeting your first two wives at The Driftwood.",
|
|
"Mercy killing the neighbor's cat with an E-tool.",
|
|
"Moderat goat rapists.",
|
|
"Morally ambiguous acts of war.",
|
|
"MSgt's crusty balls popping out of his silkies.",
|
|
"NinJa Punched!",
|
|
"Non-consensual sex.",
|
|
"Obnoxious amounts of liquor and turkey Lunchables in your barracks fridge.",
|
|
"Officer Candidates.",
|
|
"Olympic-level skating.",
|
|
"Operating a blowjob ring inside tent city.",
|
|
"Overwhelming firepower.",
|
|
"Pathetically inviting a celebrity to your ball with a cringey YouTube video.",
|
|
"Playing safety brief BINGO.",
|
|
"Policing brass until your fingers bleed.",
|
|
"Pounding dick in the porta-shitter.",
|
|
"Pre-club gym pumps.",
|
|
"Pretending to take college courses in Okinawa so your Lt will let you get a license.",
|
|
"Proudly displaying your Nazi flag in your Scout Sniper platoon photo.",
|
|
"Qualifying \"surgical with this bitch\" at the range.",
|
|
"R. Lee Ermey shitting in his adult diaper.",
|
|
"Rat fucking the Crayola® box.",
|
|
"Rationalizing the terrible things you have seen and done in combat.",
|
|
"Recreating the Iwo Jima flag raising using two blow-up dolls and a stolen golf flag.",
|
|
"Recruit Training.",
|
|
"Recruits.",
|
|
"Referring to everyone, including your dependents, as dick necks.",
|
|
"Rendering the fat of your enemies over a burning pile of baby parts and techincal manuals.",
|
|
"Replacing your ribbon rack with replica Pokemon™ badges.",
|
|
"Replying to the 1st Sgt with \"OORAH\" no matter what is asked of you.",
|
|
"Roasting marshmallows over a crackling pile of burning Qurans.",
|
|
"Roasting TOP SECRET s'mores over a burning barrel of classified material.",
|
|
"Roasting your subordinates like a straight fucking savage.",
|
|
"Rolling another MRAP.",
|
|
"Ruck march thigh chafing so bad it looks like you miscarried a Hot Pocket.",
|
|
"Running indoors during Colors like the shitbag you are!",
|
|
"Safety briefs with trigger warnings.",
|
|
"Sand fleas. So many sand fleas.",
|
|
"Saying \"Back in MY Marine Corps\" like a crusty old fuck.",
|
|
"Screaming \"Let's not turn this rape into a murder\" at your kid's softball game.",
|
|
"Seeing the 1st Sgt's wife's titty tassles at The Driftwood.",
|
|
"SEMPER FI, MOTHER FUCKERS!",
|
|
"Several IPAC clerks doing absolutely nothing.",
|
|
"Several tiny dicks drawn all over your face.",
|
|
"Shotgunning a Rip It® in 120 degree heat.",
|
|
"Shut up.",
|
|
"Slay bodies and chill.",
|
|
"Slipping on a terrorist's postmortem poop.",
|
|
"Smoking a rock or something.",
|
|
"Snacking on some crayons.",
|
|
"Snickering at a sergeant in the Marine Corps Band.",
|
|
"Sniffing subordinate's asshole to assert dominance.",
|
|
"Some weak ass POG bullshit.",
|
|
"Speed waxing your asshole with 100mph tape.",
|
|
"Spending eternity at the armory.",
|
|
"Spitting on Okinawan protesters.",
|
|
"Stabbing a man in winter to see the steam rise from his wounds.",
|
|
"Stacking bodies.",
|
|
"Stomping out a crotch fire.",
|
|
"Sun Gods 'til your dick skinners fall off.",
|
|
"Suppressive fire.",
|
|
"Surviving a sniper round to the dome.",
|
|
"Sweeping sand in Iraq.",
|
|
"Syphilis Gene, the unclean Marine.",
|
|
"Tactical embarrassment.",
|
|
"Taking a headshot while chewing bubblegum.",
|
|
"Taking gender reassignment homrones to win a meritorious board.",
|
|
"Tattoo policies created by retards.",
|
|
"That one dark green Marine who finished swim qual 1!",
|
|
"The colonel's wife \"pulling rank.\"",
|
|
"The Combat Action Ribbon.",
|
|
"The combat eye gouge.",
|
|
"The Corpsman Cocktail: Vitamin M and water!",
|
|
"The good kid",
|
|
"The half 80's pornstar/pedo deployment 'stache.",
|
|
"The inevitable LCpl post-deployment Ford Mustang purchase.",
|
|
"The infamous Marine Corps boat cloak.",
|
|
"The Jacksonville Ninja.",
|
|
"The Lance Corporal Underground.",
|
|
"The Legendary Sergeant Major Bradley Kasal.",
|
|
"The miraculous healing properties of Chesty's tears.",
|
|
"The NCO Creed.",
|
|
"The overwhelming competency of the Marine Corps Reserve.",
|
|
"The pungent smell of a gynocologist`s glove",
|
|
"The Shithouse Poet.",
|
|
"The smell of decomposing villagers.",
|
|
"The United States Marine Corps.",
|
|
"The United States Naval Academy.",
|
|
"Tossing a sack of whimpering puppies over a cliff.",
|
|
"Trading MRE Skittles® for a super sloppy rimjob.",
|
|
"Tranny hookers on port call.",
|
|
"Transgendered grunts.",
|
|
"Treating your EAS date like a retirement.",
|
|
"Two in the chest, one in the head... winning hearts and minds!",
|
|
"Two Marines tying their dicks together.",
|
|
"Unknowingly raising Jody's kids.",
|
|
"Unsuccessfully unfucking yourself.",
|
|
"Using a hammer to construct a cabinet and also to bludgeon Afghan villagers.",
|
|
"Using a poncho liner to float down the barracks roof during a typhoon party.",
|
|
"Vienna sausage and cottage cheese-flavored MREs.",
|
|
"War stories with happy endings.",
|
|
"Watching Generation Kill for the fifth time this month.",
|
|
"Wearing nothing but silkies, boot bands, and a light coat of CLP.",
|
|
"Wearing your dress blues then drownin in pussy.",
|
|
"Whipping your dependents like Hebrew slaves.",
|
|
"Whispering to your chaplain that Jesus Christ was a pussy.",
|
|
"Wishing you'd remembered to shower before your gynecology",
|
|
"Wook vagina that looks like a grenade went off behind a deli counter.",
|
|
"Wookies with bowl cuts.",
|
|
"Yelling \"BABY KILLERS\" at boots in an airport terminal.",
|
|
"Yet another POG-ass admin Marine who became a drill instructor.",
|
|
"You done fucked up, Devil Dog!",
|
|
"Your platoon sergeant A.K.A. Satan himself.",
|
|
"Zig-zaggedy shrapnel scars.",
|
|
"70 Year Old Prostitute(s)",
|
|
"A Bag Stuffed With Mystery Meat",
|
|
"A Bottle of Fine Wine",
|
|
"A Collection of Baby Teeth",
|
|
"A Daytime Pajama Party",
|
|
"A Fart Connoisseur",
|
|
"A Japanese Houseboy",
|
|
"A Late Night Mannequin Party",
|
|
"A Maggot Eating Contest",
|
|
"A Nudist Old Age Home",
|
|
"A prolapsed rectum.",
|
|
"A River of Tears",
|
|
"A Toilet Scrub Brush",
|
|
"A Walrus Giving Birth",
|
|
"A Weapon of Ass Destruction",
|
|
"Alien Abduction(s)",
|
|
"All You Can Eat Indian Buffet(s)",
|
|
"An Ex-Porn Star Kindergarten Teacher",
|
|
"An Inspiriatinal Cult Leader",
|
|
"Animals Having Sex",
|
|
"Blumpkins",
|
|
"Crack-Smoking Politician(s)",
|
|
"Dad's Fuck Face",
|
|
"Dirty Adult Diaper(s)",
|
|
"Disposable Razorblade(s)",
|
|
"DIY Tampon",
|
|
"Double Sided Bondage Tape",
|
|
"Drinking Alone in the Dark",
|
|
"Dutch Ovening",
|
|
"Eating Cigarette Butts",
|
|
"Elbow Grease",
|
|
"Endangered Species",
|
|
"Eurotrash Speedo Line(s)",
|
|
"Expired Dog Food",
|
|
"Extra Friendly Airport Security",
|
|
"Factory Slaves",
|
|
"Fat Shaming",
|
|
"French Canadian(s)",
|
|
"Fresh Road Kill",
|
|
"Going Postal",
|
|
"Homemade Abortion Kit(s)",
|
|
"Homemade Desert(s)",
|
|
"Impending Doom",
|
|
"Invisible Underwear",
|
|
"Itchy Crotch Rot",
|
|
"Kidney Stone(s)",
|
|
"Kinky Civil War Reenactments",
|
|
"Makeshift Dildos Of Shame",
|
|
"Making Shitty Life Choices",
|
|
"Mermaid Tail Soup",
|
|
"Missing The Bowl In An Airplane Bathroom",
|
|
"Moldy Cheese Sauce",
|
|
"Mouth Herpes",
|
|
"My Little Pony Tattoo",
|
|
"Naked Yoga",
|
|
"North Korea.",
|
|
"Ostrich Racing",
|
|
"Pet Rock Collecting",
|
|
"Pillow Fight Club",
|
|
"Pinata(s) Full of Cockroaches",
|
|
"Piss Flavored Jaw breaker(s)",
|
|
"Placenta Milkshakes",
|
|
"Pounding Meat",
|
|
"Promiscuous Teen(s)",
|
|
"Public Flogging",
|
|
"Pulling Tapeworms Out of Your Ass",
|
|
"Rat Shit",
|
|
"Really Tight Leather Pants",
|
|
"Rectal Feeding",
|
|
"Red Neck Family Values",
|
|
"Rusty Trombone Girls",
|
|
"Sacrificing Neighborhood Pets",
|
|
"Self Popping Pimples",
|
|
"Sex Ritual(s)",
|
|
"Sexually Abusive Doctor(s)",
|
|
"Skanky Fat Cat(s)",
|
|
"Skinny Dipping in an Outhouse",
|
|
"Skydiving Without A Parachute",
|
|
"Slutty Car Wash Girls",
|
|
"Taking A Date To The Soup Kitchen",
|
|
"Tartar Sauce",
|
|
"The American Dream",
|
|
"The Amish",
|
|
"The Bearded Lady",
|
|
"The Friend Zone",
|
|
"The Morning After Pill",
|
|
"Thrift Shops",
|
|
"Tiny Nipples",
|
|
"Toasted Nuts",
|
|
"Toe Nail Clippings",
|
|
"Triple Penetration",
|
|
"Week Old Kitty Litter",
|
|
"Wiping Your Ass With Your Hand",
|
|
"Yellow Snow Snowcone",
|
|
"A $1,000 check from Cards Against Humanity!",
|
|
"A baby panda that just can't keep its eyes open.",
|
|
"A full refund from Cards Against Humanity, paid for by people richer than me.",
|
|
"A gay Republican somehow.",
|
|
"A laundry basket full of baby bunnies.",
|
|
"A really good dog.",
|
|
"A stack of puppies in a trench coat.",
|
|
"Getting deported.",
|
|
"Guacamole.",
|
|
"How easy it is to climb over a wall with a ladder.",
|
|
"Lou Gehrig's Disease.",
|
|
"Mexicans and Muslims.",
|
|
"My drunk father screaming from the bleachers.",
|
|
"My money stolen by Cards Against Humanity and redistributed to people poorer than me.",
|
|
"Our dumb asshole president.",
|
|
"Slowly shaking my head at a sad statistic.",
|
|
"Speaking in iambic pentameter.",
|
|
"Taking a minute to really unpack what Shakespeare is getting at in this scene.",
|
|
"Teaching my son to love the Red Sox and hate minorities.",
|
|
"The shocking stupidity of the American public.",
|
|
"The significance of eyes in King Lear.",
|
|
"The truth.",
|
|
"Two baby otters holding hands.",
|
|
"Two hamsters nibbling on a tiny burrito.",
|
|
"White people becoming a minority.",
|
|
"Yelling \"I got it, I got it!\"",
|
|
"2 girls 1 cockroach",
|
|
"4 wraps of heroin",
|
|
"A absurd build up of smegma under the foreskin",
|
|
"A cury so hot it that it makes your arse feel like you've been picking up the soap in prison",
|
|
"A Donald Trump pussy grab",
|
|
"A gaping arsehole",
|
|
"A jihadi terrorist attack",
|
|
"A paralell universe where men have vaginas and women have penises",
|
|
"A party in Michael Barrymore's pool",
|
|
"A shocking amount of Lurpak",
|
|
"A solar powered dildo",
|
|
"A teacher with a child grooming habit",
|
|
"Ainsley Harriott",
|
|
"Alcohol abuse",
|
|
"Another outbreak of Ebola in West Africa",
|
|
"Bare backing a lady boy in Thailand",
|
|
"Becoming a Jew",
|
|
"Being alone in bed with Kevin Spacey",
|
|
"Being arrested for necrophilia",
|
|
"Being banged from behind by a fat sweaty black dick",
|
|
"Being impregnated by 3 guys at once",
|
|
"Bruce Forsyth",
|
|
"Cabbage farts that burn your nostrils",
|
|
"Chemical attacks",
|
|
"Chester Bennington's rope collection",
|
|
"Chill flavoured anal lube",
|
|
"Decaying pussy flaps",
|
|
"Dog shit flavoured jelly beans",
|
|
"Donating blood when you know you have HIV",
|
|
"Dwarfs with large dicks",
|
|
"Ejaculating into ham slices and sticking them all over a woman",
|
|
"Ethnic Cleansing",
|
|
"Executig anyone with a speech impediment",
|
|
"Explosive diarrhoea",
|
|
"Feeding a Muslim bacon",
|
|
"Feminism",
|
|
"Finger blasting your Nan until she squirts",
|
|
"Fisting a granny",
|
|
"Fucking a wet soggy cardboard box",
|
|
"Gay porn",
|
|
"Harvey Price's hot creamy semen",
|
|
"Having inappropiate thoughts about being fucked by a horse",
|
|
"Hillsborough disaster part II",
|
|
"Hugh Heffner's rotting foreskin",
|
|
"Indecent images of Boris Johnson felching",
|
|
"Interracial double penetration",
|
|
"Islamic State's take on the events of 9/11",
|
|
"Jeremy Corbyn",
|
|
"Kim Jong-Un's crusty ass ring",
|
|
"Madeleine McCann's new age progression image",
|
|
"Making jokes about gender fluidity",
|
|
"Mensturation porn",
|
|
"Mild racism and extreme homophobia",
|
|
"No ketchup, just sauce",
|
|
"Obesity",
|
|
"Oozing herpes scabs",
|
|
"Osama Bin Laden tribute videos",
|
|
"Pubic lice",
|
|
"Pulling out just before ejaculation and pouring tobasco sauce into the receiving hole",
|
|
"Pushing the big red nuke button",
|
|
"Putting a blind man into a circular room and asking him to find the corner",
|
|
"Putting it balls deep into the stink",
|
|
"Realising that Derren Brown is a cock muncher",
|
|
"Riming the bowl of a festival toilet",
|
|
"Robinsons fruit shoot mixed with rohypnol",
|
|
"Severe down's syndrome",
|
|
"Sliding some roast pork into a vegan's salad",
|
|
"Squeezing out a turd bigger than King Kong's finger",
|
|
"Telling holocaust jokes at a bar mitzvah",
|
|
"The back end of a wart hog",
|
|
"The end of the Earth",
|
|
"The scent of rotting corpse",
|
|
"The smell of Lucky Lucky man's ball sack at the end of a season in Ibiza",
|
|
"The smell of vaginal discharge",
|
|
"Theresa May's landing strip",
|
|
"Under-age pregnancy",
|
|
"Using barbed wire as a cock ring",
|
|
"Vegans being slaughtered in the streets",
|
|
"Watching Princess Diana's car go up in flames",
|
|
"A bathroom only for poop.",
|
|
"A bowl of gourds.",
|
|
"A button that when you press it, there's jazz.",
|
|
"A constant, deafening queef.",
|
|
"a man who isn't afraid to talk about his feelings",
|
|
"A phantasmagoria of anal delights.",
|
|
"A post-deployment RED HORSE troop fucking everyone and everything in their path.",
|
|
"A turkey baster",
|
|
"A whole new kind of \"play date\"",
|
|
"An orcgasm.",
|
|
"An overworked Chippendales® dancer.",
|
|
"Bathing naked in a moonlit grove.",
|
|
"Being a total Miranda.",
|
|
"Being judged not by the color of your skin, but by the content of your character.",
|
|
"Below the Waist",
|
|
"Breastfeeding a ten-year-old.",
|
|
"Cancerous USAF leadership.",
|
|
"Cooties",
|
|
"Crippling status anxiety.",
|
|
"Crying babies.",
|
|
"Cute cat videos",
|
|
"Eating Tom Selleck's mustache to gain his powers.",
|
|
"every robust healthy boy",
|
|
"Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.",
|
|
"Forgetting grandma's first name.",
|
|
"Getting all the good dick.",
|
|
"Getting skin cancer after 5 minutes at Takapuna beach",
|
|
"Growing up in Catholic school and not being better for it.",
|
|
"Gymnastic leotards that slide up your butt.",
|
|
"Impeaching \"The View.\"",
|
|
"Important votes from Down Syndrome community.",
|
|
"Kamikaze pilots.",
|
|
"likes to my facebook post",
|
|
"measureless sobbing",
|
|
"MORTAL KOMBAT.",
|
|
"Never nude orgies.",
|
|
"No more beersies",
|
|
"One weird lookin' toe.",
|
|
"our o'erhasty marriage",
|
|
"Owning and operating a Chili's franchise.",
|
|
"Peeing into everyone's mouth.",
|
|
"Raccoon: The other, other dark meat",
|
|
"Reading the entire Harry Potter series in one week",
|
|
"Ripping fat vapes.",
|
|
"Robots with human faces",
|
|
"Setting someone on fire at Burning Man.",
|
|
"Shapeshifters.",
|
|
"Shitting an adult diaper.",
|
|
"Such a nasty group of people.",
|
|
"Sucking all the oil out of the planet and fucking off to Mars.",
|
|
"Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.",
|
|
"Texting \"lol\" to express self-consciousness.",
|
|
"The amount of medals I have.",
|
|
"The color guard team captain",
|
|
"The Denver Satanic Gardens.",
|
|
"the Elder Wand",
|
|
"The Hawaiian goddess Kapo and her flying detachable vagina.",
|
|
"The Pre-Nup of Allegiance.",
|
|
"The sweet sound of snot right before a cup of hot chocolate.",
|
|
"Throwing the baby out with the bathwater.",
|
|
"Totaling a manual-transmission car two seconds after trying to drive it.",
|
|
"Treating a Chihuahua like a small child and putting it in a stroller.",
|
|
"turning tricks",
|
|
"Unsolicited anal pleasure.",
|
|
"Walking into a room and forgetting what you were looking for.",
|
|
"Whatever, who even gives a shit.",
|
|
"10 football players with erections barrelling towards you at full speed.",
|
|
"10,000 shrieking teenage girls.",
|
|
"A big ol' plate of fettuccini alfredo.",
|
|
"A big, beautiful mouth packed to the brim with sparkling white teeth.",
|
|
"A black friend.",
|
|
"A burrito that's just sour cream.",
|
|
"A cheerfulness that belies a deep-seated self-loathing.",
|
|
"A cold and indifferent universe.",
|
|
"A creature made of penises that must constantly arouse itself to survive.",
|
|
"A creepy child singing a nursery rhyme.",
|
|
"A dolphin that learns to talk and becomes the Dean of Harvard Law School.",
|
|
"A duffel bag full of lizards.",
|
|
"A finger up the butt.",
|
|
"A genetic predisposition for alcoholism.",
|
|
"A gun that shoots cobras.",
|
|
"A hug.",
|
|
"A long business meeting with no obvious purpose.",
|
|
"A man in a suit with perfect hair who tells you beautiful lies.",
|
|
"A man with the head of a goat and the body of a goat.",
|
|
"A massive collection of child pornography.",
|
|
"A medium horchata.",
|
|
"A negative body image that is totally justified.",
|
|
"A slowly encroaching circle of wolves.",
|
|
"A strong horse and enough rations for thirty days.",
|
|
"A terrified fat child who won't come out of the bushes.",
|
|
"A tiny fireman who puts out tiny fires.",
|
|
"A weird guy who says weird stuff and weirds me out.",
|
|
"A woman's perspective.",
|
|
"A woman's right to choose.",
|
|
"Aborting the shit out of a fetus.",
|
|
"Albert Einstein but if he had huge muscles and a rhinoceros cock.",
|
|
"All the people I've killed.",
|
|
"An arrangement wherein I give a person money and they have sex with me.",
|
|
"An empowered woman.",
|
|
"An incurable homosexual.",
|
|
"An old dog dragging its anus across the floor.",
|
|
"An old dog full of tumors.",
|
|
"An older man.",
|
|
"An X-Man whose power is that he has sex with dogs and children.",
|
|
"Anal.",
|
|
"Antidepressants.",
|
|
"Art.",
|
|
"Assassinating the president.",
|
|
"Awesome pictures of planets and stuff.",
|
|
"Bad emotions I don't want.",
|
|
"Becoming the President of the United States.",
|
|
"Being sexually attracted to children.",
|
|
"Being turned into sausages.",
|
|
"Beyonce.",
|
|
"Big, smart money boys tap-tapping on their keyboards.",
|
|
"Blossoming into a beautiful young woman.",
|
|
"Breastfeeding in public like a radiant earth goddess.",
|
|
"Brunch.",
|
|
"Catching a live salmon in your mouth.",
|
|
"Child labor.",
|
|
"Chinese campaign clothing.",
|
|
"Chipotle.",
|
|
"Chris Hemsworth.",
|
|
"Comprehensive immigration reform.",
|
|
"Condoleezza Rice.",
|
|
"Consensual, nonreproductive incest.",
|
|
"Content.",
|
|
"Crazy anal orgasms.",
|
|
"Creamy slices of real, California avocado.",
|
|
"Critical thinking.",
|
|
"Crushing the patriarchy.",
|
|
"Daddy going away forever.",
|
|
"Defeating a gorilla in single combat.",
|
|
"Denying the Holocaust.",
|
|
"Dis bitch.",
|
|
"Discovering that what I really want in life is to kill people and have sex with their corpses.",
|
|
"Doing a somersault and barfing.",
|
|
"Dominating a man by peeing on his eldest son.",
|
|
"Doritos and a Fruit Roll-Up.",
|
|
"Dropping dead in a Sbarro's bathroom and not being found for 72 hours.",
|
|
"Dumpster juice.",
|
|
"Eating ass.",
|
|
"Eating pebbles, shitting the pebbles, the eating the shit-pebbles, and then shitting those pebbles again.",
|
|
"Eating people.",
|
|
"Eating too many Cinnabons and then vomiting and then eating the vomit.",
|
|
"Ejaculating at the apex of a cartwheel.",
|
|
"Esmeralda, my most beautiful daughter.",
|
|
"Eternal screaming madness.",
|
|
"Every man's ultimate fantasy: a perfectly cylindrical vagina.",
|
|
"everything's for sale",
|
|
"Exploring each other's buttholes.",
|
|
"Facilitating dialogue and deconstructing binaries.",
|
|
"Falling into a pit of waffles.",
|
|
"Farting a huge shit out of my pussy.",
|
|
"Farting all over my face with your tight little asshole.",
|
|
"Feeling the emotion of anger.",
|
|
"Feminist men.",
|
|
"Film roles for actresses over 40.",
|
|
"Finding a nice elevator to poop in.",
|
|
"Forty-five minutes of finger blasting.",
|
|
"Founding a major world religion.",
|
|
"Fucking me good and taking me to Red Lobster.®",
|
|
"Fucking my therapist.",
|
|
"Gary.",
|
|
"Gay thoughts.",
|
|
"Gayle from HR.",
|
|
"Gazpacho.",
|
|
"Getting aborted.",
|
|
"Getting blasted in the face by a t-shirt cannon.",
|
|
"Getting eaten out by a dog.",
|
|
"Getting high with mom.",
|
|
"Getting killed and dragged up a tree by a leopard.",
|
|
"Getting laid like all the time.",
|
|
"Getting naked too soon.",
|
|
"Getting the Dorito crumbs out of my pubes.",
|
|
"Getting this party started!",
|
|
"Getting trapped in a conversation about Ayn Rand.",
|
|
"Going around pulling people's tampons out.",
|
|
"Going to bed at a reasonable hour.",
|
|
"Gregor, my largest son.",
|
|
"Grunting for ten minutes and then peeing sand.",
|
|
"Gus: the Palsy Cat.",
|
|
"Hating Jews.",
|
|
"Having a vagina.",
|
|
"Having an awesome time drinking and driving.",
|
|
"Having sex with a beautiful person.",
|
|
"Having sex with a man and then eating his head.",
|
|
"Having sex with your mom.",
|
|
"Holding the proper political beliefs of my time to attract a mate.",
|
|
"Homework.",
|
|
"Hot lettuce.",
|
|
"How good lead paint taste.",
|
|
"How great my ass looks in these jeans.",
|
|
"How sad it will be when Morgan Freeman dies.",
|
|
"How strange it is to be anything at all.",
|
|
"Huge big balls full of jizz.",
|
|
"ISIS.",
|
|
"It being too late to stop having sex with a horse.",
|
|
"Jason, the teen mayor.",
|
|
"Jazz.",
|
|
"Jeff Bezos.",
|
|
"Just now finding out about the Armenian Genocide.",
|
|
"Late-stage dementia.",
|
|
"Libertarians.",
|
|
"Loud, scary thunder.",
|
|
"Making out and stuff.",
|
|
"Math.",
|
|
"Meatloaf, the food.",
|
|
"Meatloaf, the man.",
|
|
"Melissa McCarthyism.",
|
|
"Menopause.",
|
|
"Mental illness.",
|
|
"Microaggressions.",
|
|
"Misogyny.",
|
|
"Mixing M&Ms and Skittles like some kind of psychopath.",
|
|
"Mommy and daddy fighting all the time.",
|
|
"Moon people.",
|
|
"Munchin' puss.",
|
|
"My brother's hot friends.",
|
|
"My dog dying.",
|
|
"My huge penis and substantial fortune.",
|
|
"Objectifying women.",
|
|
"One of them big-city Jew lawyers.",
|
|
"One of those \"blow jobs\" I've been hearing so much about.",
|
|
"Onions.",
|
|
"Opening your mouth to talk and a big penis flops out.",
|
|
"Our baby.",
|
|
"Out-of-control teenage blowjob parties.",
|
|
"Overthrowing the democratically-elected government of Chile.",
|
|
"Participating.",
|
|
"Period poops.",
|
|
"Picking up a glass of water and taking a sip and being the president.",
|
|
"Playing my asshole like a trumpet.",
|
|
"Plowing that ass like a New England corn farmer.",
|
|
"Political correctness.",
|
|
"Pooping in a leotard and hoping no one notices.",
|
|
"Pooping in the potty.",
|
|
"Prematurely ejaculating like a total loser.",
|
|
"Pretending to be one of the guys but actually being the spider god.",
|
|
"Putting more black people in jail.",
|
|
"Quacking like a duck in lieu of a cogent argument.",
|
|
"Quinoa.",
|
|
"Raising three kids on minimum wage.",
|
|
"Reaching an age where barbecue chips are better than sex.",
|
|
"Regurgitating a half-digested sparrow.",
|
|
"Rock-hard tits and a huge vagina.",
|
|
"Rolling so hard.",
|
|
"Rubbing my bush all over your bald head.",
|
|
"Salsa Night at Dave's Cantina.",
|
|
"Seizing control of the means of production.",
|
|
"Self-identifying as a DJ.",
|
|
"Showering praise upon the Sultan's hideous daughters.",
|
|
"Showing all the boys my pussy.",
|
|
"Slamming a dunk.",
|
|
"Smashing my balls at the moment of climax.",
|
|
"Some of that good dick.",
|
|
"Some real spicy shrimps.",
|
|
"Starting a shitty podcast.",
|
|
"Straight blazin' 24/7.",
|
|
"Sucking each other's penises for hours on end.",
|
|
"Sudden and unwanted slam poetry.",
|
|
"Systems and policies designed to preserve centuries-old power structures.",
|
|
"Tables.",
|
|
"Taking the form of a falcon.",
|
|
"Tender chunks of all-white-meat chicken.",
|
|
"That bitch, Stacy.",
|
|
"That chicken from Popeyes. ®",
|
|
"The amount of baby carrots I can fit up my ass.",
|
|
"The best, deepest quotes from The Dark Knight.",
|
|
"The body of a 46-year-old man.",
|
|
"The bond between a woman and her horse.",
|
|
"The fear and hatred in men's hearts.",
|
|
"The feeling of going to McDonald's as a 6-year-old.",
|
|
"The flaming wreckage of the International Space Station.",
|
|
"The full force of the American military.",
|
|
"The full-blown marginalization of ugly people.",
|
|
"The government.",
|
|
"The graceful path of an autumn leaf as it falls to its earthen cradle.",
|
|
"The hottest MILF in Dallas.",
|
|
"The LGBT community.",
|
|
"The lived experience of African Americans.",
|
|
"The mysterious fog rolling into town.",
|
|
"The ol' penis-in-the-popcorn surprise.",
|
|
"The Rwandan Genocide.",
|
|
"The secret to truly resilient hair.",
|
|
"The sweet, forbidden meat of the monkey.",
|
|
"The wind.",
|
|
"Thinking about what eating even is.",
|
|
"Three hours of nonstop penetration.",
|
|
"Tiny, rancid girl farts.",
|
|
"Trees.",
|
|
"Trevor, the world's greatest boyfriend.",
|
|
"Turning 32.",
|
|
"Twenty bucks.",
|
|
"Twenty cheerleaders laughing at your tiny penis.",
|
|
"Twisting my cock and balls into a balloon poodle.",
|
|
"Two beautiful pig sisters.",
|
|
"Two shitty kids and a garbage husband.",
|
|
"Waking up inside of a tornado.",
|
|
"Watching a hot person eat.",
|
|
"Watching you die.",
|
|
"Water.",
|
|
"When the big truck goes \"Toot! Toot!\"",
|
|
"Who really did 9/11.",
|
|
"Whomsoever let the dogs out.",
|
|
"Whooping your ass at Mario Kart.",
|
|
"Working so hard to have muscles and then having them.",
|
|
"You.",
|
|
"\"Christian Domestic Discipline 101\" from Amazon.com.*",
|
|
"\"Exiting, pursued by a bear.\"",
|
|
"\"Vegan-leather\" bondage gear.",
|
|
"50 Shades of Off-White.",
|
|
"A \"boudoir-style\" photoshoot that turns into something else.",
|
|
"A 20+ year age gap between you and your partner.",
|
|
"A bi-sexual woman learning blowjob technique from a gay man.",
|
|
"A Brat.",
|
|
"A catholic schoolgirl uniform.",
|
|
"A cherry-wood spanking bench.",
|
|
"A collar and a leash.",
|
|
"A Fleshlight™ knock-off from China.*",
|
|
"A fox-tail butt plug.",
|
|
"A gift certificate to Liberator™.*",
|
|
"A happy submissive.",
|
|
"A librarian doing something with her mouth other than \"shushing.\"",
|
|
"A mild foot-fetish.",
|
|
"A really, really good spanking.",
|
|
"A sex-toy or a dog-toy.",
|
|
"A Violet Wand with multiple attachments.*",
|
|
"Aftercare.*",
|
|
"Alternative uses for Icy Hot and Gold Bond Medicated Powder.",
|
|
"An advanced teledildonics* protoype.",
|
|
"An all-day fuck fest.",
|
|
"An introverted Dom.",
|
|
"An upgraded Sybian.*",
|
|
"Anal safer sex.",
|
|
"Asking \"Do you have other sizes of ball gags?\"",
|
|
"Awkward dynamics in a poly relationship.",
|
|
"Awkward sex on the honymoon.",
|
|
"Being bent over the bed, blindfolded, and bound, and waiting...",
|
|
"Being pleasantly surprised at the quality of the sex tape you made using your iPhone.",
|
|
"Buying kink supplies at Hobby Lobby.*",
|
|
"Creepy kink guys who prey on newbies to the scene.",
|
|
"Daddy's belt.",
|
|
"Deciding who gets to sleep in the middle.",
|
|
"Defending marriage from those kind of people.",
|
|
"Dinner at a fine restaurant with candlelight, small portions, tablecloths, and a remote-controlled bullet in your partner.*",
|
|
"Drool from sucking cock.",
|
|
"Fetlife.*",
|
|
"Figuring out how to keep a woman with really small, flexible hands restrained in bondage cuffs.",
|
|
"Fisher-Price's new \"My First Slave Collar.\"",
|
|
"Getting an infection from your partner's unclean toys.",
|
|
"GGG.*",
|
|
"Gifted but not talented.",
|
|
"Glitter everywhere.",
|
|
"Hair gel on the inside of your car windows.",
|
|
"High protocol.*",
|
|
"I'm your Secretary.",
|
|
"Kinky sex.",
|
|
"Leaving claw marks on my back.",
|
|
"Liquid latex.",
|
|
"Making whore life choices.",
|
|
"My custom-built bondage bed.",
|
|
"My Good Girl.*",
|
|
"My safeword is \"Cinnamon.\"",
|
|
"My token monogamous friend.",
|
|
"Needle-play.",
|
|
"No, Sir.",
|
|
"Nope. Not at all.",
|
|
"Not just embracing your inner demon, but taking it out for dinner and dancing, then home...",
|
|
"One scoop of creamed potatoes. A slice of butter. Four peas. And as much ice cream as you'd like to eat.*",
|
|
"Orgasm denial.",
|
|
"Pegging.*",
|
|
"Piercings in unusual places.",
|
|
"Pity sex.",
|
|
"Reaching out and \"touching\" someone.",
|
|
"Restraining orders.",
|
|
"Rubbing a bald head.",
|
|
"Sex positive people.",
|
|
"Shibari.*",
|
|
"Six rolls of \"Moving Wrap\" from U-Haul™.",
|
|
"Slamming your partner against a wall.",
|
|
"Squirting.*",
|
|
"Sub drop.*",
|
|
"That fantasy.",
|
|
"That really cute barista.",
|
|
"The BAD cane.",
|
|
"The Hitachi Magic Wand.*",
|
|
"The lovely bruises from last night.",
|
|
"The morning-after pill.",
|
|
"The other paddle.",
|
|
"The threesome that will never happen.",
|
|
"Trying to introduce the person you're dating when you don't know what your relationship status actually is.",
|
|
"Vampire gloves.*",
|
|
"Vetwrap bandaging tape.",
|
|
"Walking in on your mom dominating your dad.",
|
|
"Wax-play.",
|
|
"Whistling inappropriate Oingo-Boingo songs.",
|
|
"Yes, Sir!",
|
|
"Your behavior. It's very bad.",
|
|
"A barf smoothie",
|
|
"A bowl of worm soup",
|
|
"A giant octopus",
|
|
"A giant pile of dirty socks",
|
|
"A giant turd",
|
|
"A grumpy unicorn",
|
|
"A half eaten candy bar",
|
|
"A haunted house",
|
|
"A lemur",
|
|
"A realy awful haircut",
|
|
"A snart (sneezing and farting at the same time)",
|
|
"A squirrel fight",
|
|
"A t-rex with really long arms",
|
|
"A talking scarecrow",
|
|
"A wet and muddy, smelly dog",
|
|
"A wet, dirty sponge",
|
|
"A whatchamacallit",
|
|
"Accidentally throwing the remote through the TV",
|
|
"Angry elves",
|
|
"Angry teenagers",
|
|
"Annoying laughter",
|
|
"Archery",
|
|
"Armpit fart noises",
|
|
"Awesome possum",
|
|
"Awesome stuff.",
|
|
"Awful, loud music",
|
|
"Awkward moment",
|
|
"Baby pacifiers",
|
|
"Back hair",
|
|
"Bacon",
|
|
"Barfing at the dinner table",
|
|
"Barfing on an airplane",
|
|
"Basketball",
|
|
"Being goofy",
|
|
"Being told to \"grow up\"",
|
|
"Belly dancers.",
|
|
"Blah blah blah",
|
|
"Blazing bonfires",
|
|
"Blood sucking vampires",
|
|
"Blubber",
|
|
"Boring babysitters",
|
|
"Bouncey house",
|
|
"Bouncing on a pogo stick.",
|
|
"Brain farts",
|
|
"Broken sunglasses",
|
|
"Building a tree fort",
|
|
"Bumbling blabbermouths",
|
|
"Burping really loud",
|
|
"Butt crust",
|
|
"Cabbages",
|
|
"Cake",
|
|
"Cancelled play dates",
|
|
"Candy canes",
|
|
"Candy corn",
|
|
"Car sickness",
|
|
"Cartwheels",
|
|
"Catching your friend picking their nose",
|
|
"Chapped lips",
|
|
"Cheerleading",
|
|
"Chewed gum stuck undfer the table",
|
|
"Chicken carcass",
|
|
"Chicken nuggets",
|
|
"Chocolate cupcakes",
|
|
"Chunks of food in my teeth",
|
|
"Chunky chickens",
|
|
"Circus freaks",
|
|
"Climbing Mount Everest",
|
|
"Clogging the toilet with a large poop",
|
|
"Cobwebs",
|
|
"Cockroaches",
|
|
"Coloring on the walls",
|
|
"Couch potatoes",
|
|
"Cow udders",
|
|
"Cowabunga dudes",
|
|
"Crazy hair day",
|
|
"Crazy raccoons",
|
|
"Creaky stairs",
|
|
"Creepy crawlers",
|
|
"Crusty toothbrush",
|
|
"Cry baby",
|
|
"Cutting the cheese",
|
|
"Daddy long legs",
|
|
"Dance",
|
|
"Dancing like you just don't care",
|
|
"Dead cellphone batteries",
|
|
"Dead fish heads",
|
|
"Diaper rash",
|
|
"Diarrhea",
|
|
"Dirty fingernails",
|
|
"Dog slobber",
|
|
"Dogs",
|
|
"Doll heads",
|
|
"Dolphins",
|
|
"Donuts",
|
|
"Dragons",
|
|
"Dressing up for Halloween",
|
|
"Drinking soda",
|
|
"Dripping food all over your clean white t-shirt",
|
|
"Drooling all over your favorite pillow",
|
|
"Dropping the mic and walking away",
|
|
"Dull scissors",
|
|
"Earrings",
|
|
"Eating a dessert before dinner",
|
|
"Eating all of your vegetables",
|
|
"Eating lots and lots of sugar",
|
|
"Eating raw cookie dough",
|
|
"Eating worms",
|
|
"Elephant dung",
|
|
"Epic fail",
|
|
"Evil kittens",
|
|
"Exploding watermelons",
|
|
"Eye boogies",
|
|
"Fake tattoos",
|
|
"Falling and scraping your knee",
|
|
"Falling off the monkey bars",
|
|
"Fart face",
|
|
"Farting during a test",
|
|
"Farting in public",
|
|
"Fierce dinosaurs",
|
|
"Finding a bug in your food",
|
|
"Finding hair in your soup",
|
|
"Finding money between the couch cushions",
|
|
"Finishing your homework two minutes before it is due",
|
|
"Flat tires on a brand new bike",
|
|
"Flip flops",
|
|
"Football",
|
|
"French fries",
|
|
"Fried eggs",
|
|
"Frozen bananas",
|
|
"Funky monkeys",
|
|
"Gargoyles",
|
|
"Getting a bloody nose that won't stop",
|
|
"Getting a prize in your cereal box",
|
|
"Getting a shot",
|
|
"Getting egged",
|
|
"Getting locked inside a museum",
|
|
"Getting sent to the principals office",
|
|
"Getting sent to your room",
|
|
"Getting struck by lightening",
|
|
"Getting stung by a bee",
|
|
"Giant rats",
|
|
"Giants",
|
|
"Glitter",
|
|
"Gnomes",
|
|
"Goblins",
|
|
"Goggles",
|
|
"Going to school everyday for the rest of your life",
|
|
"Going to summer camp",
|
|
"Goosebumps",
|
|
"Gummy worms",
|
|
"Hair stuck in the drain",
|
|
"Hair ties",
|
|
"Hairballs",
|
|
"Having a snowball fight",
|
|
"Having dinner with the president",
|
|
"Having to stay inside for recess",
|
|
"Hiding behind the furniture, waiting to jump out and scare someone",
|
|
"Hockey",
|
|
"Hours and hours of homework",
|
|
"Ice cream sundaes",
|
|
"Internet cat videos",
|
|
"Interrupting an adult while they are on an important phone call",
|
|
"Jumping on the bed",
|
|
"Karate",
|
|
"Kissing a hamster on the lips",
|
|
"Kissing crickets",
|
|
"Knotted hair",
|
|
"Lacrosse",
|
|
"Laughing hyenas",
|
|
"Laughing hysterically",
|
|
"Leaping lizards",
|
|
"Leggings",
|
|
"Leprechaun gold",
|
|
"Licking a frozen pole",
|
|
"Long, thick toenails",
|
|
"Losing a tooth without even realizing it",
|
|
"Mac & Cheese",
|
|
"Magical fairies",
|
|
"Makeup",
|
|
"Making fun of your teacher",
|
|
"Mean people",
|
|
"Meros tacos.",
|
|
"Mexican jumping beans",
|
|
"Minions",
|
|
"Moldy bread",
|
|
"Moldy cheese",
|
|
"Monkey brains",
|
|
"Monkey butt",
|
|
"Monsters under your bed",
|
|
"Moose droppings",
|
|
"Mosquitoes",
|
|
"Mud puddles",
|
|
"Mustard and ketchup",
|
|
"My brothers smelly underwear",
|
|
"My dogs smelly farts",
|
|
"Nincompoops",
|
|
"Non-stop giggling",
|
|
"Nose hair",
|
|
"Not covering your mouth when you sneeze",
|
|
"Not remembering your lines in the school play",
|
|
"Not taking a bath for two weeks",
|
|
"Nuns",
|
|
"Old people smell",
|
|
"Ooey, gooey, glue",
|
|
"Oompa Loompas",
|
|
"Peanut butter & jelly",
|
|
"Pee",
|
|
"Peeing your pants",
|
|
"Peeling scabby skin",
|
|
"Picking your nose in front of the whole school",
|
|
"Pigglewink",
|
|
"Pigs feet",
|
|
"Piles of chewed up chicken fingers",
|
|
"Pizza with anchovies",
|
|
"Platypus",
|
|
"Playgrounds",
|
|
"Playing bingo",
|
|
"Polka dot underwear",
|
|
"Poop",
|
|
"Pooping your pants",
|
|
"Poopy head",
|
|
"Popcorn kernals",
|
|
"Potatoes",
|
|
"Power outages",
|
|
"Pranking your teacher",
|
|
"Pretending to be a pirate",
|
|
"Pretending to be asleep",
|
|
"Pretending to be sick to stahy home from school",
|
|
"Prickly porcupines",
|
|
"Pulling out grandmas fake teeth",
|
|
"Putting on nail polish",
|
|
"Racing your friends",
|
|
"Rainy birthdays",
|
|
"Really bad breath",
|
|
"Repeating everything an adult says until they go crazy",
|
|
"Riding a donkey off into the sunset",
|
|
"Riding a unicorn over the rainbow",
|
|
"Rolling around in the mud",
|
|
"Rolling down a hill",
|
|
"Rough, anonymous sex.",
|
|
"Rubber bands",
|
|
"Running away from a herd of elephants",
|
|
"Running away with the circus",
|
|
"Sand stuck in your baithing suit",
|
|
"Sandy feet",
|
|
"Scaredy cat",
|
|
"Scary Spice",
|
|
"School lunches",
|
|
"Screaming at the top of your lungs in the library",
|
|
"Sell high-tops to hippies.",
|
|
"Setting all of the zoo animals free",
|
|
"Sewer rats",
|
|
"Shoving everything into your closet when you're supposed to be cleaning your room",
|
|
"Silent but deadly farts",
|
|
"Silly string",
|
|
"Singing in the shower",
|
|
"Sitting in the back of the school bus",
|
|
"Skeletons",
|
|
"Skidmarks on my underwear",
|
|
"Skunk smell",
|
|
"Sledding down the hill",
|
|
"Sleep walking",
|
|
"Sleepovers",
|
|
"Slime",
|
|
"Slimy centipedes",
|
|
"Slithering snakes",
|
|
"Sloths",
|
|
"Smelling your own feet",
|
|
"Smelly farts",
|
|
"Smelly grandpa",
|
|
"Smelly seaweed",
|
|
"Smelly toe jam",
|
|
"Sneaking cookies into the cart while grocery shopping",
|
|
"Sneaking the dog food underneath the table",
|
|
"Snot rockets",
|
|
"Soccer",
|
|
"Sour milk with chunks in it",
|
|
"Spending endless hours watching silly internet vidoes",
|
|
"Spiders crawling up your back",
|
|
"Spilling milk all over the counter",
|
|
"Spinning around in a revolving door",
|
|
"Splinters",
|
|
"Spooky ghosts",
|
|
"Spying on the neighbors",
|
|
"Squirming worms",
|
|
"Star gazing",
|
|
"Staying up until midnight",
|
|
"Stepping in a big pile of doggy doo",
|
|
"Stepping in gum",
|
|
"Sticky cotton candy",
|
|
"Sticky ear wax",
|
|
"Sticky maple syrup",
|
|
"Stinky armpits",
|
|
"Stinky flowers",
|
|
"Stubbing your toe in the middle of the night",
|
|
"Stuffed animals",
|
|
"Summer school",
|
|
"Swag",
|
|
"Sweaty feet",
|
|
"Swimming with dolphins",
|
|
"Talking back to an adult",
|
|
"Talking to myself",
|
|
"Tattletales",
|
|
"Teachers pet",
|
|
"Texting your best friend",
|
|
"The flu",
|
|
"The heebie jeebies",
|
|
"The ice cream man",
|
|
"The internet crashing",
|
|
"The logistics of planning a family holiday",
|
|
"The stench of a never cleaned litter box",
|
|
"The toy store",
|
|
"Throw up",
|
|
"Throwing up at school",
|
|
"Thunderstorms",
|
|
"Tickling your feet",
|
|
"Toasting marshmallows",
|
|
"Toilet paper stuck in my butt crack",
|
|
"Toilet water",
|
|
"Toy boxes filled with worms",
|
|
"Trampolines",
|
|
"Turkeys",
|
|
"Turtles",
|
|
"Vampire fangs",
|
|
"Volcanoes",
|
|
"Vultures",
|
|
"Wackadoodle",
|
|
"Walking on egg shells with bare feet",
|
|
"Walking to the front of the classroom while trying to conceal a throbbing erection.",
|
|
"Walrus",
|
|
"Warts",
|
|
"Wasabi peas",
|
|
"Wearing a disguise",
|
|
"Wedgies",
|
|
"Werewolves",
|
|
"Wet willies",
|
|
"Wet, runny boogers",
|
|
"Wet, soggy socks",
|
|
"Wi-fi",
|
|
"Winning a spelling bee",
|
|
"Yellow teeth",
|
|
"Zits",
|
|
"Zombie brains",
|
|
"$20 Tinnies",
|
|
"10 bucks",
|
|
"20 fuckin whacks...",
|
|
"27 tonnes of 1080 pellets",
|
|
"A 12 pack of Cody's",
|
|
"A Bach with an empty beer fridge",
|
|
"A big one on the turps",
|
|
"A bit of a dag",
|
|
"A blue powerade for the morning after",
|
|
"A Capital city built on a fault line...",
|
|
"A chilled box of DoBros",
|
|
"A Chilly bin full of coldies",
|
|
"A chocolate Fish",
|
|
"A Colander on the head for religious reasons",
|
|
"A concerning amount of Hobbits",
|
|
"A crushing loss to the Irish",
|
|
"A drunken Haka performed while abroad for foreigners",
|
|
"A fart that turned into a shart",
|
|
"A free weekend in RotoVegas",
|
|
"A fresh plate of Hangi",
|
|
"A gripping Shortland Street cliffhanger",
|
|
"A hangout with yoiur hori-ass mates",
|
|
"A hard fought for career on the Benefit",
|
|
"A hole bored into your neighbours tree and filled with roundup",
|
|
"A Hongi",
|
|
"A hot-boxed 1992 Toyota Hilux",
|
|
"A Kiwi with Lasers for eyes.",
|
|
"A Massive hole in the Ozone layer",
|
|
"A muscular sheep shearer",
|
|
"A national crisis over a shortage in chocolate milk",
|
|
"A National obsession with large corrugated iron statues",
|
|
"A new pair of togs",
|
|
"A once in a lifetime Briscoes sale",
|
|
"A pair of Red Band gummies",
|
|
"A pash behind the dairy",
|
|
"A performance by your recently reunited 2011 shuffle gang",
|
|
"A pie that has been blown on...",
|
|
"A pink-tipped dildo to the face during a live news broadcast",
|
|
"A proudly Bilingual Nation",
|
|
"A Proudly Nuclear-Free Zone",
|
|
"A Pukana",
|
|
"A quick good luck s**k n f**k in the disabled toilets...",
|
|
"A sexual assault charge for using the term \"Sweet-as\" around an American",
|
|
"A Single mum with a 1.5L Nitro",
|
|
"A sinking Rainbow Warrior",
|
|
"A slightly muymmified moa foot...",
|
|
"A stink one",
|
|
"A streaming fresh cowpat",
|
|
"A surprise crumbed fish",
|
|
"A thorough Fair Go investigation....",
|
|
"A three way handshake with Richie McCaw",
|
|
"A tonguey kiss",
|
|
"A trip to the supermarket in trackies and uggs",
|
|
"A visit from the Royals",
|
|
"An 'Outrageous Fortune'",
|
|
"An eeling expidition",
|
|
"An entire pod of Beached Whales",
|
|
"An L&P that's more than a 'little bit different, eh'",
|
|
"Andrew Hore Clubbing Seals",
|
|
"Anika Moa",
|
|
"Another Asian Tourist drowning at Piha beach",
|
|
"Another bloody JAFA",
|
|
"Army pay day at the Rolly Inn",
|
|
"As exhausted as Lisa Lewis' after a week at Fieldays",
|
|
"Auckland",
|
|
"Auckland house prices",
|
|
"Basghetti",
|
|
"Becoming Prime Minister; getting paid more for your pregnancy exclusive...",
|
|
"Being \"werewolves not swearwolves\"",
|
|
"Being Black in Christchurch",
|
|
"Being from Gore",
|
|
"Being self employed, chucking mud at those cows over there",
|
|
"Bloody Legend",
|
|
"Bombs",
|
|
"BOOMFA",
|
|
"Breaking up with your chosen bachelorette the day after the finale airs",
|
|
"Brian Tamaki",
|
|
"Bro",
|
|
"BUGGER",
|
|
"Bugger all..!",
|
|
"Bulls driving utes in tv ads",
|
|
"Burning couches at street parties",
|
|
"Chlamydia",
|
|
"Christchurch",
|
|
"Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster",
|
|
"Clarke Gayford's fishing show",
|
|
"Colin Craig's poetry...",
|
|
"Congregant's wallets",
|
|
"Cracking up",
|
|
"David Bain's sweater...",
|
|
"David Seymours dancing career",
|
|
"Deep fried Kiwi",
|
|
"Donating nothing at Te Papa museum",
|
|
"Dove Love's chart topping single: 'I'm so blessed'",
|
|
"Driving a tractor up the steps of NZ Parliament",
|
|
"Ernest Rutherford holding a freshly split atom",
|
|
"Everything you're proud of being claimed by Australians",
|
|
"Fairy Bread",
|
|
"Family trip to WINZ",
|
|
"Father's Day",
|
|
"Feeling more Melancholic than a Lorde song",
|
|
"Feeling pretty knackered",
|
|
"Fingering",
|
|
"Fish and Chips",
|
|
"Free condoms from Family Planning",
|
|
"Fried chicken and chips from the corner dairy",
|
|
"Full face Devast8 tattoo",
|
|
"Gang wars in Flaxmere",
|
|
"Gangs making sandwiches",
|
|
"GCSB",
|
|
"Getting caught sniffing undies on Target",
|
|
"Getting down at The Outback",
|
|
"Getting hit by Lomu",
|
|
"Getting hit on by a volunteer surf lifeguard",
|
|
"Getting knocked out by hairy French men in the quarter finals...",
|
|
"Getting munted",
|
|
"Getting the call-up for the world cup final, while standing knee deep in whitebait nets",
|
|
"Getting way to competitive on Rotorua Luge",
|
|
"Ghost Chips",
|
|
"Gloriavale",
|
|
"Going out for Chinese with Len Brown",
|
|
"Hamilton",
|
|
"Handling the Jandal",
|
|
"Hard Yakka",
|
|
"Having a tantrum because someone called your Jandals: Thongs",
|
|
"Helen Clark, the mother of a Nation",
|
|
"Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros",
|
|
"Hitting the bong you made from a coke can",
|
|
"Hitting the Peak befoe Sir Edmund Hillary",
|
|
"Hobbiton",
|
|
"Hokey-pokey ice-cream",
|
|
"Holden Commodore",
|
|
"Home Brand tomato sauce",
|
|
"Jam and Cream Doughnuts",
|
|
"Jason Gunn and Thingee",
|
|
"John Campbell saying 'MARVELLOUS'",
|
|
"John Key deep throating a hotdog",
|
|
"John Key pulling ponytails",
|
|
"Jordie Barrett eating maccas in the wrong house",
|
|
"Justin Marshall saying \"me oh my I have enjoyed that yes boy\" repeatedly",
|
|
"Karen from the shearing gang",
|
|
"Kicking a World Cup penalty in an All Blacks crop top",
|
|
"Kim Dotcom's latest music video",
|
|
"Land Claims",
|
|
"Laurel Hubbard girlpower",
|
|
"Leaving your 17 children in Gloriavale for a big night in Greymouth with Hopeful Christian",
|
|
"Leigh Hart's sausage (that always hits the spot)",
|
|
"Letting Savage see your hips swing",
|
|
"Licking Raro straight out of your palms",
|
|
"Living the scarfie life down in Dunners",
|
|
"Making Mum and Dad proud by losing your anal virginity at Rhythm and Vines",
|
|
"Manning the Waka",
|
|
"Maori people",
|
|
"Marijuana the \"gateway drug\"",
|
|
"Mark Sainsbury's moustache",
|
|
"Marmite on Toast",
|
|
"Massive bloody Wetas",
|
|
"Max Key's obsession with topless photoshoots",
|
|
"Measuring the success of your citizens, by their ability to move abroad",
|
|
"Meat",
|
|
"Meat and three veg",
|
|
"Meth",
|
|
"Middle Earth",
|
|
"Mike Hosking's empathetic opinions towards the poor",
|
|
"Mince & Cheese Pie with a Durrie",
|
|
"Monique saying you're dumb",
|
|
"More sheep than people...",
|
|
"More than the legal quota of Kina",
|
|
"Mowing the lawns in stubbies and jandals",
|
|
"Multiculturalism",
|
|
"My Michael Jackson Dance moves",
|
|
"My missus",
|
|
"Naming you and your wife's new baby after the woman you're having a fling with",
|
|
"Nan's pavlova",
|
|
"Nana campaigning for the 'National First' party",
|
|
"Nationwide depression due to a 1% drop in milk prices",
|
|
"Not being a real racist but still wanting to help",
|
|
"Number 8 fencing wire",
|
|
"NZ Police chasing a stray sheep up the Main Highway",
|
|
"NZ Police recruitment videos",
|
|
"NZ top celebrity: the lion man.",
|
|
"Onions & snags on the barbie",
|
|
"Overindulging on feijoas",
|
|
"Pakeha",
|
|
"Palmerston North",
|
|
"Paranormal activity in Wellington",
|
|
"Patty G yelling: \"This is the F***ing News\"",
|
|
"Paul Henry's reaction to the name Dikshit",
|
|
"Paula's Panini & a bowl latte",
|
|
"Penis",
|
|
"Performing a powhiri when she introduces you to her Pakeha parents...",
|
|
"Phat Manus",
|
|
"Police 10 7",
|
|
"Police doing funnels...",
|
|
"Popping a phat one down the long drop",
|
|
"Prime Ministers inventing three way handshakes",
|
|
"Prime-ministerial pineapple on Pizza",
|
|
"Protesting Apartheid games by sprinbkling thumbtacks on the field",
|
|
"Putting Tomato Sauce on literally everything you eat",
|
|
"Raspberry lamingtons",
|
|
"Regional Fuel Tax",
|
|
"Relentless hate for any Australian except on ANZAC day",
|
|
"Richi McCaw; the PM we want, but will never deserve",
|
|
"Running it straight up the guts",
|
|
"Salt & vinegar chips & onion soup dip",
|
|
"Scooter",
|
|
"Scroggin with all the yogurt coated raisins picked out",
|
|
"Seeing Suzy Cato in a completely new light",
|
|
"Sewing up your torn Scrotum on the sideline before returning to the field",
|
|
"Sheep shaggers",
|
|
"Shining laser pointers at landing planes",
|
|
"Shrek the woolly sheet",
|
|
"Signing an afterdavided to hide your mistakes",
|
|
"Sinking an entire \"Goon Sack\"",
|
|
"Slice of Heaven",
|
|
"Smoking a joint with your local MP",
|
|
"Some F***ING EGGS!!",
|
|
"Some perfectly salted Kumara fries",
|
|
"Southies",
|
|
"Spaghettie on Pizza",
|
|
"Spinning some yarns widda boys",
|
|
"State Housing",
|
|
"Steve Hanson's adorable chuckle...",
|
|
"Steven Joyce",
|
|
"Stories from the time you watched a Kakapo mate with your friends head",
|
|
"Straight up yarns.",
|
|
"Sunday",
|
|
"Taking the piss",
|
|
"Tales from the days when Guy Williams was the sexiest man on NZ television",
|
|
"Tall Poppy Syndrome",
|
|
"Tamati Coffey knocking the Maori Party out of parliament",
|
|
"Tana Umaga slapping someone with a handbag",
|
|
"Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu",
|
|
"That mate who voted Green, for a National coalition",
|
|
"The 'extra mild Butter Chicken' your ordered to show how cultured you are",
|
|
"The 'Skuxx Life'",
|
|
"The \"Special\" cream on top of the Pavlova",
|
|
"The 18 Scoop challenge at Pokeno",
|
|
"The All Blacks",
|
|
"The biscuit tin full of sewing supplies",
|
|
"The Black Cocks",
|
|
"The Bois of 18 Alison",
|
|
"The coalition of losers",
|
|
"The Crazy Horses",
|
|
"The crushing emotional realisation that spaceman sticks no longer have red tips",
|
|
"The cuzzies",
|
|
"The devastating realisation your house is an ex meth-lab",
|
|
"The devastating remains of a once world-first education system",
|
|
"The ever decreasing relevance of farmers in the NZ economy",
|
|
"The F45 cult",
|
|
"The Gallipoli campaign",
|
|
"The Housing Crisis",
|
|
"The hunt for the wilderpeople",
|
|
"The Increasing epidemic of Homelessness",
|
|
"The local Taniwha",
|
|
"The Lord of the Rings",
|
|
"The Mad Butcher's meat",
|
|
"The Manager",
|
|
"The milking shed",
|
|
"The Nek minute guy",
|
|
"The Ohakune Carrot",
|
|
"The old girl finally carking it",
|
|
"The old Heifer",
|
|
"The perceived intellectual superiority of a Wellingtonian",
|
|
"The quickly fading dream of a quarter-acre section",
|
|
"The return of Buck Shafford",
|
|
"The sinking feeling of being one crumbed fish short of a family dinner",
|
|
"The suden realisation you're 'beached as bro'",
|
|
"The surprising relief you experience when Rhythm and Vines comes to an end",
|
|
"The Taihape Gumboot",
|
|
"The Topp Twins",
|
|
"The Treats",
|
|
"The Treaty of Waitangi",
|
|
"The way Rachel Hunter devours her Trumpets",
|
|
"The willingness of NZ men to embrace emotional vulnerability",
|
|
"The world's most notoriously flightless bird",
|
|
"Timaru's large iron Ram & Ewe",
|
|
"Togs that are definitely undies",
|
|
"Utu",
|
|
"Violent German orgies at the Kim Dotcom mansion",
|
|
"Waka jumping",
|
|
"Warriors",
|
|
"Wellington",
|
|
"Westies",
|
|
"When the cops find 102 bags of MDMA in your room and you claim personal use",
|
|
"Whitebait",
|
|
"Wizard of New Zealand",
|
|
"Wolf-whistling at high school girls in Opotiki",
|
|
"Women's suffrage",
|
|
"YOZAH..!!",
|
|
"$20,000 trip from Honduras to Texas hiding in the back of the troka.",
|
|
"5 de Mayo celebrations.",
|
|
"A drug-filled pinata.",
|
|
"A fully equipped tunnel under the border.",
|
|
"A new movie by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu about the Bad Hombres.",
|
|
"A new shining Trump tower in Mexico.",
|
|
"A pillow fight between Bad Hombres.",
|
|
"A really bad Mexican soup opera.",
|
|
"All kind of children are indeed left behind.",
|
|
"An economy without Mexican labor.",
|
|
"Bad Hombres infiltrating the border patrol.",
|
|
"Bad Hombres offensive comments.",
|
|
"Bad Hombres willing to work 80 hours a week.",
|
|
"Baked beans.",
|
|
"Beefy empanadas for 25 cents.",
|
|
"Being afraid of the worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle.",
|
|
"Being deported to Mexico after living 20 years in the U.S.",
|
|
"Blaming the 1% for everything.",
|
|
"Bloody Bull Fights with lots of celebration and tequila.",
|
|
"Border Tax.",
|
|
"Building a door in the wall.",
|
|
"Building bridges rather than walls.",
|
|
"Burrito masturbation technique.",
|
|
"Cabron de mierda.",
|
|
"Cheap Mexican porn.",
|
|
"Cheap tequila.",
|
|
"Cheap Viagra® hecha en casa.",
|
|
"Confronting deportation fears.",
|
|
"Confusing Taco Bell® with good Mexican food.",
|
|
"Confusing Tijuana with North Korea.",
|
|
"Coyote services inflation.",
|
|
"Criminals, drug dealers, rapists, etc.",
|
|
"Declaring Spanish as second official language of the U.S.",
|
|
"Discrimination.",
|
|
"Dreamers hiding from deportation.",
|
|
"Eating tamales in Thanksgiving.",
|
|
"El Chapo unleashing a Bad Hombre revolution from jail.",
|
|
"El Rio Grande.",
|
|
"Fake Green Cards being sold at the border.",
|
|
"Fear of being killed.",
|
|
"Food Stamps.",
|
|
"Fox News.®",
|
|
"Fucking south of the border.",
|
|
"Getting laid with a sweaty Bad Hombre.",
|
|
"Getting paid below minimum wage.",
|
|
"Having Cementos Mexicanos build the wall.",
|
|
"Having sex with Mildred, Arnold Schwarzenegger's nanny and girlfriend.",
|
|
"Having to send dinero to Chiapas.",
|
|
"Hijo de la chingada.",
|
|
"Huge political inexperience.",
|
|
"Human rights abuses at the border.",
|
|
"Insulting Bad Hombres for fun.",
|
|
"It's all about the money.",
|
|
"Ivanka Trump's maids.",
|
|
"Jennifer Lopez.",
|
|
"Kidnappings in Mexico.",
|
|
"Los Tres Amigos.",
|
|
"Making Mexico great again since the Aztecs and Mayans.",
|
|
"Mango enchilado.",
|
|
"Mexican revolution in the U.S.",
|
|
"Mexicans taking all the good jobs.",
|
|
"Molesting a Mexican boy.",
|
|
"Multiple hotel sex in Acapulco.",
|
|
"Naked Lucha Libre.",
|
|
"Nationalist officials at the border who voted for Trump.",
|
|
"No \"law and order\" building the wall.",
|
|
"Not all Bad Hombres are created equal.",
|
|
"Not having enough Bad Hombres in the U.S. to build the wall.",
|
|
"Pitbull as president of the new Bad Hombres political party.",
|
|
"Potentially having free college tuition for all immigrants.",
|
|
"Pretending to give immigrants equal opportunity.",
|
|
"Proud to be Mexican.",
|
|
"Putting a condom in a burrito to practice.",
|
|
"Real News.",
|
|
"Really lost in translation.",
|
|
"Reusing condoms.",
|
|
"Saying \"No Mas\" before even starting.",
|
|
"Spanglish.",
|
|
"Spending $20 billion on the stupid wall.",
|
|
"Thinking tequila is an expensive drink.",
|
|
"Three days without eating in the Arizona desert to reach the American Dream.",
|
|
"Too many Bad Hombres with working visas.",
|
|
"Translating the U.S. Constitution to Spanish.",
|
|
"Treating Good Hombres like Bad Hombres.",
|
|
"Trump neglecting the U.S. inner cities where Bad Hombres live.",
|
|
"Trump's deportation machine terror tactics.",
|
|
"Unsafe sex.",
|
|
"White supremacy ideas.",
|
|
"#YOLO.",
|
|
"$68 in pennies.",
|
|
"A faint, but distinct smell of shit with no defined source of origin.",
|
|
"A joke too funny for women to understand.",
|
|
"A slow, depressingly sad hand job.",
|
|
"Allen Iverson.",
|
|
"An agitated airline stewardess.",
|
|
"An orgasm so intense it causes brain hemorrhage.",
|
|
"Anal lubricant.",
|
|
"Asian NBA players.",
|
|
"Asparagus urine.",
|
|
"Bullet wounds.",
|
|
"Chemtrails.",
|
|
"Cindy Kinx, the pink power ranger.",
|
|
"Creed's greatest hits.",
|
|
"Debt collectors.",
|
|
"Demolishing that ass like a Palestinian village.",
|
|
"Desperate Tinder dates.",
|
|
"Dry humping.",
|
|
"Entering balls deep into your Mom's backdoor.",
|
|
"Fear boner.",
|
|
"Finding \"The One\" at a furry meet-up.",
|
|
"Flashing strangers.",
|
|
"Furry pornography.",
|
|
"Genocide.",
|
|
"Getting hit in the junk with a can of sardines.",
|
|
"Getting stabbed to death in a vacant parking lot.",
|
|
"Giving a walrus a hand job for science.",
|
|
"Giving the shocker.",
|
|
"Going down on a big, girthy, black cock.",
|
|
"Great balls of fire.",
|
|
"Hanging black people.",
|
|
"Having penises as nipples.",
|
|
"Hiding an erection while wearing sweatpants.",
|
|
"Hot flashes.",
|
|
"Justin Bieber at 58.",
|
|
"Malaysian Flight 370.",
|
|
"Masturbating to a horror movie.",
|
|
"Michael J. Fox finger painting.",
|
|
"Not giving a flying fuck.",
|
|
"Pancake nipples.",
|
|
"Party pussy.",
|
|
"Photocopying your anus.",
|
|
"Playing \"The Penis Game\" at a funeral.",
|
|
"Prank calling a suicide hotline.",
|
|
"Primate sex.",
|
|
"Propane and propane accessories.",
|
|
"Queers.",
|
|
"Raw sewage.",
|
|
"Recreating your penis using a 3D printer.",
|
|
"Ricky Bobby.",
|
|
"Roofying an entire house of newly rushed Sorority girls.",
|
|
"Ruining a surprise party on purpose.",
|
|
"Selling pirated software to under privileged schools.",
|
|
"Sleazy massage parlors.",
|
|
"Small dick with big, saggy balls.",
|
|
"Snot. Yeah, I think that's snot.",
|
|
"Sodomising the corpse of Ben Franklin.",
|
|
"Staring at women breastfeeding their young child.",
|
|
"Steamy lesbian sex.",
|
|
"Stephen Hawking throwing out the first pitch.",
|
|
"That Pope guy.",
|
|
"The cookie monster.",
|
|
"The floating garbage dump roughly the size of Texas.",
|
|
"The noise of your balls slapping during anal sex.",
|
|
"The Quran.",
|
|
"The wrinkly side-boob of an elderly woman.",
|
|
"Throwing ninja star freely in a delivery room.",
|
|
"Toe-poking a dingle berry down the shower drain.",
|
|
"Tony Stark sharting inside the Iron Man armor.",
|
|
"Twenty tons of bird shit.",
|
|
"Vegans.",
|
|
"What \"The Rock\" was really cooking.",
|
|
"White privilege.",
|
|
"Yoga to the Sorrowful Mysteries.",
|
|
"Your girlfriend's cock.",
|
|
"1st Degree Murder",
|
|
"38-Double Ds",
|
|
"69ing",
|
|
"A Bag of Dicks",
|
|
"A Barrel Full of Monkeys",
|
|
"A Big Bottle of Lube",
|
|
"A Brazilian Wax",
|
|
"A Catholic Priest",
|
|
"A Cheap Motel",
|
|
"A Chloroform Soaked Rag",
|
|
"A Clapstain",
|
|
"A Dominatrix",
|
|
"A Donkey Fucker",
|
|
"A Double Ended Dildo",
|
|
"A Douche Canoe",
|
|
"A Drug Mule",
|
|
"A Five Dive",
|
|
"A Giant Clit",
|
|
"A Grow Op",
|
|
"A Hot Tub",
|
|
"A Latex Bodysuit",
|
|
"A Mail Order Bride",
|
|
"A Motor Boating Son of a Bitch",
|
|
"A Nip Slip",
|
|
"A Nudist Colony",
|
|
"A Prolapsed Anus",
|
|
"A Real Cock Jockey",
|
|
"A Sex Shop",
|
|
"A Soft Wet Kiss",
|
|
"A Third Tit",
|
|
"A Turd Burglar",
|
|
"A Twatwaffle",
|
|
"A Used Tampon",
|
|
"A Yankee Bastard",
|
|
"Abortions",
|
|
"African Babies",
|
|
"Alcoholics",
|
|
"Altar Boys",
|
|
"Americans",
|
|
"Amputees",
|
|
"Anal Beads",
|
|
"Anal Creampies",
|
|
"Anal Fisting",
|
|
"Anal Floss",
|
|
"Anal Gaping",
|
|
"Armpit Licking",
|
|
"Asian Massages",
|
|
"Asians",
|
|
"Ass Eating",
|
|
"Ass Lynching",
|
|
"Ass To Mouth",
|
|
"Awkward Teen Sex",
|
|
"Backseat Banging",
|
|
"Backstage Benefits",
|
|
"Ball-Busting",
|
|
"Barebacking",
|
|
"Bear Attacks",
|
|
"Beef Curtains",
|
|
"Bestiality",
|
|
"Big Bags of Weed",
|
|
"Big Butch Dykes",
|
|
"Big Gay Cowboys",
|
|
"Bitch Slapping",
|
|
"Blind Dates",
|
|
"Blonde Bimbos",
|
|
"Blue Balls",
|
|
"Blue Waffle",
|
|
"Body Builders",
|
|
"Body Shots",
|
|
"Bondage",
|
|
"Breast Feeding",
|
|
"Bronies",
|
|
"Bukakes",
|
|
"Burning Shits",
|
|
"Butt Buddies",
|
|
"Butt Crack Lint",
|
|
"Butt Plugs",
|
|
"Call Girls",
|
|
"Camel Jockeys",
|
|
"Cameltoe",
|
|
"Canadians",
|
|
"Catheters",
|
|
"Chat Roulette",
|
|
"Cheap Lovin'",
|
|
"Chicks with Dicks",
|
|
"Circle Jerking",
|
|
"Clit Piercings",
|
|
"Cocaine Filled Birthday Loot Bag",
|
|
"Cock Coordinator",
|
|
"Cock Rings",
|
|
"Cock Sucking Cramps",
|
|
"Cockblocking",
|
|
"Condoms",
|
|
"Crabs",
|
|
"Crack Houses",
|
|
"Crazy Wild Party Girls",
|
|
"Creampie Eating",
|
|
"Creepy Old Men",
|
|
"Crooked Cops",
|
|
"Crushing Clams",
|
|
"Crusty Boogers",
|
|
"Crusty Underwear",
|
|
"Cuckolds",
|
|
"Cum Dumpster",
|
|
"Cum Swapping",
|
|
"Curly Pubes",
|
|
"Cybersex",
|
|
"Dead Babies",
|
|
"Dead Hookers",
|
|
"Deadbeat Dads",
|
|
"Deep Throating",
|
|
"Diarrhea cha cha cha",
|
|
"Dick Breath",
|
|
"Dick Cheese",
|
|
"Dick Enlarging Pills",
|
|
"Docking",
|
|
"Dog Shit Pie",
|
|
"Doggy Style",
|
|
"Double Penetration",
|
|
"Drag Queens",
|
|
"Drug Dealers",
|
|
"Drunk Driving",
|
|
"Dumpster Diving",
|
|
"Dwarf Tossing",
|
|
"Emo Kids",
|
|
"Exhibitionists",
|
|
"Face Sitting",
|
|
"Facebook™ Stalkers",
|
|
"Facials",
|
|
"Fake Tits",
|
|
"Fart Eating",
|
|
"Fat Chicks",
|
|
"Feminists",
|
|
"First Orgasms",
|
|
"Footjobs",
|
|
"Fuck Buddies",
|
|
"Gag Balls",
|
|
"Gangbangs",
|
|
"Gangsters",
|
|
"Gay-dars",
|
|
"Gerbiling",
|
|
"Ghetto Girls",
|
|
"Giant Strap-ons",
|
|
"Giant Zits",
|
|
"Giving Head",
|
|
"Gloryholes",
|
|
"Golden Showers",
|
|
"Gonorrhea",
|
|
"Granny Panties",
|
|
"Grave Robbing",
|
|
"Hairy Armpits",
|
|
"Hairy Balls",
|
|
"Hairy Legs",
|
|
"Heart Attacks",
|
|
"Hentai",
|
|
"Herpes",
|
|
"Hidden Cameras",
|
|
"Hipsters serving brunch",
|
|
"Hitchhikers",
|
|
"Hitler fanfiction.",
|
|
"Home Grown Terrorists",
|
|
"Homeless People",
|
|
"Homemade Birth Control",
|
|
"Homewrecker",
|
|
"Huffing",
|
|
"Illegal Aliens",
|
|
"Incest",
|
|
"Jagerbombs",
|
|
"Jailbait",
|
|
"Jello Wrestling",
|
|
"Jesus",
|
|
"Kidnapping Kittens",
|
|
"Kinky Blindfolds",
|
|
"Latinas",
|
|
"Lazy Mexicans",
|
|
"Lesbians",
|
|
"Local Crackheads",
|
|
"Lockjaw",
|
|
"Lonely Housewives",
|
|
"Make-Up Sex",
|
|
"Male Strippers",
|
|
"manscaping",
|
|
"Masturbation",
|
|
"Medicinal Marijuana",
|
|
"Meth Labs",
|
|
"Michael Jackson Sleepovers",
|
|
"Midgets",
|
|
"MILFs",
|
|
"Miniature Ponies",
|
|
"Molesting",
|
|
"Mom's Vibrator",
|
|
"Monkey Sex",
|
|
"Mormons",
|
|
"Muff Diving",
|
|
"Multiple Orgasms",
|
|
"Native Americans",
|
|
"Naughty Babysitters",
|
|
"Necrophiliacs",
|
|
"Nipple Tassels",
|
|
"Nudists",
|
|
"Nymphos",
|
|
"Old People",
|
|
"Pearl Necklace",
|
|
"Period Blood",
|
|
"Phone Sex",
|
|
"Pink Fuzzy Handcuffs",
|
|
"Pink Tacos",
|
|
"Pissing in the Shower",
|
|
"Pussy",
|
|
"Pussy Trolls",
|
|
"Quickies",
|
|
"Rectal Rangers",
|
|
"Rednecks",
|
|
"Rehab",
|
|
"Rimjobs",
|
|
"Roofied Punch",
|
|
"Saggy Granny Tits",
|
|
"Scat Porn",
|
|
"School Girls",
|
|
"Scumbag Steve",
|
|
"Sex Slaves",
|
|
"Sex y Roleplaying",
|
|
"sexting",
|
|
"Sexy Grandmas",
|
|
"Sexy Latinos",
|
|
"Shit Sandwich",
|
|
"Sizzurp",
|
|
"Skid Marks",
|
|
"Sloppy Seconds",
|
|
"Smelly Pirate Hookers",
|
|
"Smoking Poppers",
|
|
"Snowballing",
|
|
"Snuff Films",
|
|
"Sororities",
|
|
"Soulless Gingers",
|
|
"Spanking",
|
|
"Special Brownies",
|
|
"Squirting",
|
|
"Stray Cats",
|
|
"Strippers",
|
|
"Sugar Daddies",
|
|
"Suicide Bombings",
|
|
"Super Blunts",
|
|
"Surprise Cumshot",
|
|
"Surprise Sex",
|
|
"Sweet Apple Pie",
|
|
"Swingers",
|
|
"Teabagging",
|
|
"Ted Bundy",
|
|
"Tentacle Porn",
|
|
"Testosterone",
|
|
"The Boogie Man",
|
|
"The Craigslist™ Killer",
|
|
"The Day After Pill",
|
|
"The Drunk Tank",
|
|
"The Easter Bunny",
|
|
"The Girl Next Door",
|
|
"The Local Rub n Tug",
|
|
"The Neighbour's Daughter",
|
|
"The Prom Queen",
|
|
"The Red Light District",
|
|
"Threesomes",
|
|
"Thunder Thighs",
|
|
"Tighty Whities",
|
|
"Tongue Piercings",
|
|
"Toothless Whores",
|
|
"Tossing Salad",
|
|
"Trailer Trash",
|
|
"Twins",
|
|
"Vampires",
|
|
"Vibrators",
|
|
"Virgins",
|
|
"Warts grow in places you can't hide.",
|
|
"Wet Dreams",
|
|
"Wet T-shirt Contests",
|
|
"Whacking Off",
|
|
"Whipping",
|
|
"Whisky Dick",
|
|
"White Only Bathrooms",
|
|
"White Trash",
|
|
"Wife Swapping",
|
|
"Women Drivers",
|
|
"Yeast Infections",
|
|
"\"Accidentally\" sticking your finger in your ass while wiping.",
|
|
"A 8-foot-tall walking carpet.",
|
|
"A chubby forehead.",
|
|
"A Cocktus, which is a large green penis covered in pricks.",
|
|
"A dildo-shooting harpoon gun.",
|
|
"A Feces Peanut Butter Cup.",
|
|
"A fistful of vengeance.",
|
|
"A fortune cookie containing a wasp.",
|
|
"A friend who is a total dick in the mud.",
|
|
"A long romantic walk to the fridge.",
|
|
"A new universe where dicks suck people.",
|
|
"A penis only a mother could love.",
|
|
"A poorly timed fart.",
|
|
"A really fast baby.",
|
|
"A sad sack.",
|
|
"A small mound of racist bones that have been surgically removed from Trump's body.",
|
|
"A soggy biscuit",
|
|
"A very \"curious\" horse.",
|
|
"An ingrown taint hair.",
|
|
"An odd number of breasts.",
|
|
"An old man hiding in the closet.",
|
|
"Another man.",
|
|
"Believing she was 18.",
|
|
"Birthday Potties.",
|
|
"Darth Vader using his Force-choke to masturbate.",
|
|
"Dave Grohl.",
|
|
"Demon butlers.",
|
|
"Disturbing donuts.",
|
|
"Drugs so good, they'll ruin your life.",
|
|
"Eating until you're full. Then continuing to eat until you hate yourself.",
|
|
"Filling her mouth with joy.",
|
|
"Gassy unicorns.",
|
|
"Getting a BJ from a ventriloquist dummy.",
|
|
"Getting charged bank fees for not having enough money in your account.",
|
|
"Getting white girl wasted.",
|
|
"Glow-in-the-dark condoms.",
|
|
"Gnawing on a penis like it's a chew toy.",
|
|
"God's plan.",
|
|
"Hellacious shits.",
|
|
"Homemade cookies made with hate.",
|
|
"Homicidal ostriches.",
|
|
"Inhaling a fly.",
|
|
"Lady Gaga's boyfriend.",
|
|
"Lady gardening.",
|
|
"Making it rain on them hoes.",
|
|
"Making your disobedient, adopted son bite the curb.",
|
|
"MechaHitler.",
|
|
"Mexican tap water.",
|
|
"Micheal J. Fox playing freeze tag.",
|
|
"My teacher's unending sex-drive.",
|
|
"Offensive 9/11 jokes.",
|
|
"Peanut, the World's Ugliest Dog.",
|
|
"Peeing on an electric eel.",
|
|
"Praising the sun.",
|
|
"Realizing you've just been too honest with someone to continue being friends.",
|
|
"Santa Claus teabagging a sleeping child, taking a picture, and leaving it in the child's stocking.",
|
|
"Saying \"Excuse me\" every time you fart.",
|
|
"Sex that's so good you don't care about the herpes.",
|
|
"Shitting' Mittens, a pair of gloves you wear when you take a dump.",
|
|
"Silverback gorillas.",
|
|
"Spending real money on a mobile game.",
|
|
"Squirting all over her Jigglypuffs.",
|
|
"Stiff nipples.",
|
|
"Strumming one out.",
|
|
"That one racist friend.",
|
|
"The satisfying sound a brick makes when it connects with a human skull.",
|
|
"The Senate: where smart people go to die.",
|
|
"The warmth of an African male.",
|
|
"The world's largest diamond.",
|
|
"Tubgirl.",
|
|
"Ubisoft's fear of animating women.",
|
|
"Unicorn semen.",
|
|
"Waddling around like an abominable snowman.",
|
|
"Watching a Tyler Perry movie on purpose.",
|
|
"Waterboarding a Muslim.",
|
|
"When a man gets so fat he has his own set of tits to fondle.",
|
|
"When a man loves another man, but not in a gay way.",
|
|
"Your hot teacher.",
|
|
"A Bitchplosion",
|
|
"A Classy Face Tattoo",
|
|
"A Cock Carousel",
|
|
"A Comical Disability",
|
|
"A Crack Diet",
|
|
"A Craptrap",
|
|
"A Drunk Handsy Mall Santa",
|
|
"A Failed Marriage Proposal",
|
|
"A Human Hair Sweater",
|
|
"A Meth Faced Lawyer",
|
|
"A Minotaur Cocksmack",
|
|
"A Munter Hunter",
|
|
"A Nun Threeway",
|
|
"A Septic Tank Swimming Pool",
|
|
"Abducting Homeless People",
|
|
"Afterbirth Sandwich",
|
|
"All White Olympic Team",
|
|
"Alligator Fuckhouse",
|
|
"Amputated Puppy Leg",
|
|
"An Ether-Soaked Dating Rag",
|
|
"Apocalypse Sex",
|
|
"Aquaphilia",
|
|
"Babies Last Christmas",
|
|
"Bathsalt Zombies",
|
|
"Beating The Ugly Child",
|
|
"Benzo Nap",
|
|
"Black Amish Dude",
|
|
"Bloody Vagicle",
|
|
"Blowing Stacks at The Kiddy Arcade",
|
|
"Cheater's Apps",
|
|
"Christ Killer",
|
|
"Church of Flying Spaghetti People",
|
|
"Cock and Ball Torture",
|
|
"Creamy Delicious Pus",
|
|
"Crowdfunded Genocide",
|
|
"Custom Built Wheelchair",
|
|
"Dwarf Dick",
|
|
"Extra Thick Diarrhea Milkshake",
|
|
"Faking a Mental Disorder",
|
|
"Farting During a Rim Job",
|
|
"Firehose Colonic",
|
|
"Forgetting to Turn Off the Gas Chamber",
|
|
"Free Samples from a Hooker",
|
|
"Gay Cruising in a Republian Neighbourhood",
|
|
"Getting Fist Fucked by a Boxer",
|
|
"Getting Strawberry Shortcaked",
|
|
"Gluten Free Bullshit",
|
|
"Guzzling Animal Semen",
|
|
"Hipster Babies",
|
|
"Humanburgers",
|
|
"Investment Banger",
|
|
"Jewish Christmas",
|
|
"Jumping on the Gangbang Wagon",
|
|
"K-Holing",
|
|
"Knowingly Hitting on a Tranny",
|
|
"Life Changing Acid Trips",
|
|
"Masturbating in a Public Urinal",
|
|
"Monster Porn",
|
|
"Mucous Mayo",
|
|
"Murder Suicide",
|
|
"Passing Out in Someone Else's Puke",
|
|
"Paying to Hunt Endangered Animals",
|
|
"Phone Groping",
|
|
"Picking Up Unattended Children",
|
|
"Pissing in a Ball Crawl",
|
|
"Playing Catch The Toddler",
|
|
"Poo Scissors",
|
|
"Poorly Executed Terrorist Attack",
|
|
"Pop Rock Blow Jobs",
|
|
"Razorblade Filled Candy",
|
|
"Retrograde Ejaculation",
|
|
"Shame Fucking",
|
|
"Sharing Dirty Needles",
|
|
"Social Justice Warriors",
|
|
"Sporking",
|
|
"Step-Fucker",
|
|
"Tasty Butt Squirts",
|
|
"Tequila Shots at an AA Meeting",
|
|
"The First Gay President of the United States",
|
|
"The McShits",
|
|
"The Minivan",
|
|
"Tongue Punching Your Fart Box",
|
|
"Truffle Butter",
|
|
"Virtual Reality Mass Murder",
|
|
"Y'all Qaeda",
|
|
"A block of cheese wearing sunglasses.",
|
|
"A chicken nugget eating contest.",
|
|
"A chunk of earwax on a toothpick.",
|
|
"A hard-boiled egg.",
|
|
"A lifetime supply of Polaroid film.",
|
|
"A Minecraft® marathon.",
|
|
"A scientific study stating that too much sugar is good for you.",
|
|
"A traumatic case of diarrhea.",
|
|
"Accidentally calling 911.",
|
|
"Acrobatic street-sign twirling with awesome dance moves.",
|
|
"Afternoons filled with binge-watching on Netflix®.",
|
|
"All you can eat mac and cheese.",
|
|
"An Oompa Loompa attack.",
|
|
"Bacon.",
|
|
"Becoming a vegetarian.",
|
|
"Becoming the celebrity spokesperson for Bubblcious® Bubble Gum.",
|
|
"Blowing birthday money on arcade games.",
|
|
"Buffalo wing breath.",
|
|
"Cookies and Cream.",
|
|
"Dabbing like there's no tomorrow.",
|
|
"Death by teddy bear.",
|
|
"Eating Bambi for dinner.",
|
|
"Fidget spinner spinners everywhere uniting in world peace.",
|
|
"Getting the chills when you pee.",
|
|
"Having the coolest Pokemon® cards.",
|
|
"Hiding the remote control from your dad on Super Bowl® Sunday.",
|
|
"Instant gratification.",
|
|
"Making superhero movies for a living.",
|
|
"Milking a cow with your toes.",
|
|
"Minions muttering mumbled messages madly at midnight.",
|
|
"My father snoring like a sick elephant all night.",
|
|
"Night vision goggles.",
|
|
"Nodding like you're listening.",
|
|
"Passing serious gas in a tub to create the jacuzzi effect.",
|
|
"Pronouncing words wrong.",
|
|
"Putting your hands in the air like you just don't care.",
|
|
"Refusing to wear deodorant.",
|
|
"Running out of toilet paper after the most satisfying dump.",
|
|
"Scaring the bejeezus out of your Mom as she turns the corner.",
|
|
"Secretly picking your nose in class.",
|
|
"Studying for 1000 years.",
|
|
"Sumo wrestler thongs.",
|
|
"Taking tests.",
|
|
"Talking like a drunk pirate.",
|
|
"That kid who always stands too close.",
|
|
"That teacher who needs a serious makeover.",
|
|
"The know-it-all kid next door.",
|
|
"The stress you feel when you haven't doen homework.",
|
|
"Too cool for school ninja moves.",
|
|
"Uncomfortable elevator silence.",
|
|
"Urkel.",
|
|
"Used dental floss.",
|
|
"Whatever hot dogs are made of.",
|
|
"Winning every spelling bee contest.",
|
|
"Winning the gazillion dollar lottery.",
|
|
"Wolverine® hands.",
|
|
"Your dad singing \"Wicked the Musical\" showtunes.",
|
|
"Your weird dad who likes to play hopscotch.",
|
|
"#Awesome",
|
|
"A $19.99 do it yourself wedding",
|
|
"A 20 piece chicken nugget meal for one person",
|
|
"A cactus",
|
|
"A cheese grater",
|
|
"A clown car",
|
|
"A faint smell of poop with no defined point of origin",
|
|
"A get-out-of-jail-free card",
|
|
"A gourmet restaurant for dogs",
|
|
"A hamburger and French Fries",
|
|
"A mall cop",
|
|
"A Mexican soap opera",
|
|
"A mouthful of soup",
|
|
"A ninja with uncontrollable flatulence",
|
|
"A preserved fetal pig",
|
|
"A puzzle too insanely hard to solve",
|
|
"A recall of hotdogs",
|
|
"A reputation for playing by the book",
|
|
"A split personality that runs amok while I'm asleep",
|
|
"A strange feeling inside",
|
|
"Actually reading the terms of service",
|
|
"Addressing the issue",
|
|
"All the rice in China",
|
|
"Allergy to nuts",
|
|
"An actual elephant in the room",
|
|
"An alligator death roll",
|
|
"An itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie yellow polka dot bikini",
|
|
"An uncomfortable amount of monkeys",
|
|
"Are we there yet?",
|
|
"Awesome watch and decoder ring",
|
|
"Beans, beans, the musical fruit",
|
|
"Being the very best, like no on ever was",
|
|
"Bicker over the position of the Big Dipper",
|
|
"Breaking into a zoo to steal a monkey",
|
|
"Buying a new cell phone every year",
|
|
"Buying second hand underwear",
|
|
"Cold-cocking a stranger who felt compelled to conjecture you \"must be getting close!\"",
|
|
"Crappy 1980's plastic Halloween costumes with a character printed on it",
|
|
"Detroit",
|
|
"Dial-up internet",
|
|
"Drink a gallon of milk",
|
|
"Drinking water from a garden hose",
|
|
"Eating out of the garbage",
|
|
"Extreme potato eating",
|
|
"Farting loudly in church",
|
|
"Flooring it",
|
|
"Fresh cat pee",
|
|
"Headless Horseman",
|
|
"Herding cats",
|
|
"Hoarders",
|
|
"Hot bowl of grits",
|
|
"Hot snot",
|
|
"Invade Russia in the winter",
|
|
"Inverted controls",
|
|
"Ketchup water",
|
|
"Lipstick",
|
|
"Making it clear that Johnny is here",
|
|
"Mental illness",
|
|
"Murphy's law",
|
|
"Not fitting in",
|
|
"Novelty mugs that nobody uses",
|
|
"Parking like a jerk",
|
|
"Pasteurized processed cheese",
|
|
"Perform an autopsy",
|
|
"Pick of the litter",
|
|
"Pinkeye",
|
|
"Prank calling",
|
|
"Pregnant women and sweaty people",
|
|
"Projectile fart",
|
|
"Riding a tandem bicycle alone",
|
|
"Sarcasm so intense that it circles back to sincerity",
|
|
"Shame and dishonor",
|
|
"Shoe collectors",
|
|
"Slap someone with a large trout",
|
|
"Some stupid excuse",
|
|
"Squirting hot sauce in your eye",
|
|
"Stampede of \"Black Friday\" shoppers",
|
|
"Stepping on a plastic building brick",
|
|
"Stuff and things",
|
|
"Taste dried spit",
|
|
"That person that talks on the phone in the bathroom",
|
|
"The contents of vomit",
|
|
"The dreams of a child",
|
|
"The element of surprise",
|
|
"The founding fathers",
|
|
"The instigator of a food fight",
|
|
"The Nobel Peace Prize",
|
|
"The only good card in my hand",
|
|
"The point of no return",
|
|
"The shy kid in the corner",
|
|
"The things I do for love",
|
|
"The world's worst human being",
|
|
"Throwing out containers with rotten food in it",
|
|
"Toddlers",
|
|
"Tourists",
|
|
"Training your younger, better looking replacement",
|
|
"Two brothers and a donkey",
|
|
"Ugly children",
|
|
"Walking the dog",
|
|
"Wash your dirty feet",
|
|
"Watching your purchase get stuck inside of the vending machine",
|
|
"What could have been",
|
|
"Wireless technology",
|
|
"Worst dad in America",
|
|
"Your face",
|
|
"Your mom",
|
|
"69ing a dirty vagina.",
|
|
"9/11.",
|
|
"A burning orphanage.",
|
|
"A Saint Bernard's Red Rocket.",
|
|
"A sandpaper condom.",
|
|
"A shaved cat.",
|
|
"Almost having sex on the dance floor.",
|
|
"Being offended at people being offended.",
|
|
"Being the big spoon.",
|
|
"Betrayal.",
|
|
"Billy Crystal.",
|
|
"Blacking out at the wedding rehearsal.",
|
|
"Blowing weed smoke into the family's dog ear.",
|
|
"Boning the maid of honor.",
|
|
"Clits.",
|
|
"Cocaine.",
|
|
"Columbine.",
|
|
"Coming out of the closet.",
|
|
"Crashing a funeral.",
|
|
"Cremating the family pet.",
|
|
"Cutting in line on black Friday.",
|
|
"Drop kicking a crying baby on a long distance flight.",
|
|
"Eskimo Brothers.",
|
|
"Extreme Jihadists.",
|
|
"Faking a heart attack to get out of paying the bill.",
|
|
"Faking an orgasm.",
|
|
"Fat people.",
|
|
"Finding out your ex is now gay.",
|
|
"Fist fighting the bouncer.",
|
|
"Fucking a retard.",
|
|
"Getting a blumpkin.",
|
|
"Ghost busters.",
|
|
"Having sex in the neighbors hot tub.",
|
|
"Hoes in different area codes.",
|
|
"Jehovah Witnesses.",
|
|
"Jerry Sandusky.",
|
|
"Joe Camel Toe.",
|
|
"Judging elves by the color of their skin and not by the content of their character.",
|
|
"Karate chopping the blind.",
|
|
"Keeping the pimp hand strong.",
|
|
"Killing your own parents to become batman.",
|
|
"Laughing at a funeral.",
|
|
"Leaving the toilet seat up.",
|
|
"LeBron James's Hairline.",
|
|
"Marilyn Manson.",
|
|
"MDMA.",
|
|
"Mitt Rommey.",
|
|
"Money problems.",
|
|
"my sex life.",
|
|
"Not picking up dog shit.",
|
|
"Paying taxes.",
|
|
"Peeing on a hobo.",
|
|
"Penis shaped objects.",
|
|
"Pistol-whipping a parking officer.",
|
|
"Pretentious Prius Drivers.",
|
|
"Raping an alter boy.",
|
|
"Robbing the poor.",
|
|
"Rubbing feces on tombstones.",
|
|
"Running over a herd of prostitutes.",
|
|
"Selling weed to elementary school students.",
|
|
"Skull fucking the neighbor's cat.",
|
|
"Slave owners.",
|
|
"Smelly Arabs.",
|
|
"Spike Lee.",
|
|
"Spitting on Santa Claus imposters.",
|
|
"Squirting porn.",
|
|
"Stealing all the drinking water at EDM Raves.",
|
|
"Telling small children the truth about the Easter bunny.",
|
|
"The book of Mormon.",
|
|
"The confusing sounds of WRFL.",
|
|
"The gentle caress of Uncle's scrotum on your ear.",
|
|
"The middle class.",
|
|
"The Ninja Turtles",
|
|
"Time traveling on psychedelics.",
|
|
"Towelheads.",
|
|
"Urinating on a public water fountain.",
|
|
"Walking into the wrong delivery room.",
|
|
"1am drink requests",
|
|
"1st grade social calendars",
|
|
"3 positive pregnancy tests and still not convinced",
|
|
"48 hour labor",
|
|
"6 year old with a smartphone",
|
|
"7 shoes, no pairs",
|
|
"A 3-year-old nudist",
|
|
"A Band-Aid obsession",
|
|
"A broken condom",
|
|
"A car seat covered in crushed Cheerios",
|
|
"A cheap ass Tooth Fairy",
|
|
"A crowning selfie",
|
|
"A double shot",
|
|
"A dozen toddlers on a sugar high",
|
|
"A finger-waving, hip-swaying 6-year-old princess",
|
|
"A formal goldfish funeral",
|
|
"A freezer full of breastmilk",
|
|
"A good night's sleep",
|
|
"A half-assed drawing taped to the refrigerator",
|
|
"A headless Barbie doll",
|
|
"A hot Brazilian nanny",
|
|
"A leaky vasectomy",
|
|
"A massage. Just a massage.",
|
|
"A misplaced IUD",
|
|
"A misplaced pee-pee teepee",
|
|
"A night alone with the kids",
|
|
"A participation trophy",
|
|
"A permanent marker Picasso",
|
|
"A permission slip signed in crayon",
|
|
"A Pinterest fail",
|
|
"A poop mural",
|
|
"A poopy finger",
|
|
"A poorly-planned quickie",
|
|
"A positive paternity test",
|
|
"A sea of puzzle pieces",
|
|
"A sexy fertility doctor",
|
|
"A sippy cup full of curdled milk",
|
|
"A six-month-old bag of Halloween candy",
|
|
"A smartphone in the toilet",
|
|
"A sneaky little devil",
|
|
"A sticky remote control",
|
|
"A sugar-high rampage",
|
|
"A tween who knows everything",
|
|
"A well-hung toddler",
|
|
"Accepting a Google Calendarinvite for date night",
|
|
"Adderall and apple juice",
|
|
"An angel at school and a devil at home",
|
|
"An awkward silence",
|
|
"An endless mountain of dirty clothes",
|
|
"An extra hour of screen time",
|
|
"An undescended testicle",
|
|
"Anatomically correct dolls",
|
|
"Another box of Girl Scout Cookies",
|
|
"Another damn fundraiser",
|
|
"Another damn stuffed animal",
|
|
"Another day without a bath",
|
|
"Another failed family photo",
|
|
"Another positive pregnancy test",
|
|
"Another unflushed toilet",
|
|
"Anti-vax parents",
|
|
"Baby daddy drama",
|
|
"Baby wipes for everything",
|
|
"Baking nut-free, gluten-free, vegan cupcakes at 2 AM.",
|
|
"Because I said so, dammit!",
|
|
"Beer cooler at the birthday party",
|
|
"Being someone's full-time snack bitch.",
|
|
"Benadryl at bedtime",
|
|
"Binge watching Netflix",
|
|
"Black market breastmilk",
|
|
"Blasting the radio to drown out the whining",
|
|
"Braces: the $4,000 smile",
|
|
"Breast milk coffee creamer",
|
|
"Breastfeeding in a moving car",
|
|
"Bribing your way into preschool",
|
|
"Bringing home a puppy",
|
|
"Butt cream for everything",
|
|
"Buying milk, eggs, and vodka at the grocery store",
|
|
"Buying pregnancy tests from the dollar store",
|
|
"Buying the toy to get out of the store",
|
|
"Buying your daughter's first tampons",
|
|
"Caillou, that whiny bitch",
|
|
"Catching puke with your bare hands",
|
|
"Cereal for dinner",
|
|
"Changing a diaper one-handed",
|
|
"Chasing poop in the bathtub ... again!",
|
|
"Chocolate or poop?",
|
|
"Choosing pet food over my carefully prepared dinner",
|
|
"Co-sleeping till college",
|
|
"Cockblocking bayb cries",
|
|
"Coffee, gin, and Xanax",
|
|
"Coitus interruptus",
|
|
"Common Core math",
|
|
"Conceiving on the first date",
|
|
"Crayon-colored vomit",
|
|
"Crying over spilled breast milk",
|
|
"Curse words in church",
|
|
"Daddy",
|
|
"Daddy said I could",
|
|
"Daddy's Grindr account",
|
|
"Daughter drama",
|
|
"Day drinking with Daddy",
|
|
"Day-old dirty diapers",
|
|
"Debating cartoon logic",
|
|
"Debating circumcision",
|
|
"Demon spawn",
|
|
"Diaper cream EVERYWHERE!",
|
|
"Doing child drop-off in your pajamas",
|
|
"Doing the bare ass minimum",
|
|
"Doing the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse \"Hot Dog Dance\"",
|
|
"Doing the Paw Patrol \"Pup Pup Boogie\"",
|
|
"Drinking from the dog bowl",
|
|
"Drop-off birthday parties",
|
|
"Dropping the F-bomb",
|
|
"Eating grandpa's Viagra",
|
|
"Eating the Cheerio in the toilet",
|
|
"Eating the last fruit snack",
|
|
"Eating their own weight in candy",
|
|
"Eau de baby vomit",
|
|
"Establishing playground dominance",
|
|
"Expecting a smile and getting a face full of puke",
|
|
"Explaining ejaculation",
|
|
"Explaining the Easter bunny",
|
|
"Eye rolls. So many eye rolls.",
|
|
"F**king cupcakes",
|
|
"F**king potty mouth kids",
|
|
"Farting in Target and blaming your child",
|
|
"Fifty shades of quiet",
|
|
"Finding out your nanny is a stripper",
|
|
"Flashing",
|
|
"Fluency in child gibberish",
|
|
"Flying with toddlers",
|
|
"Forgetting it's dress-up day at school",
|
|
"Forgetting to move the damn Elf on the Shelf",
|
|
"Four-week-olf French fries",
|
|
"Free birth control",
|
|
"Free range children",
|
|
"Functional alcoholism",
|
|
"Getting caught mid-quickie",
|
|
"Getting grandma drunk for a peaceful holiday meal",
|
|
"Getting high before a playdate",
|
|
"Giving him the middle finger behind his back",
|
|
"Giving my child a drum set",
|
|
"Go the f**k to sleep",
|
|
"Going to Target for a mini-vacation",
|
|
"Grocery store cookies for the school bake sale",
|
|
"Handmade, locally grown organic baby food",
|
|
"Having the Tabernacle off to the side.",
|
|
"Head lice",
|
|
"Helicopter parents",
|
|
"Her first boyfriend",
|
|
"Her first period",
|
|
"Higher standards for first borns",
|
|
"Hostile dinner negotiations",
|
|
"I want to do it by myseeeeeeelf!",
|
|
"Ignoring the chore list",
|
|
"Impromptu sex education at the zoo",
|
|
"Inappropriate show and tell",
|
|
"iPad babysitter",
|
|
"It was just a concussion",
|
|
"Jack and Coke",
|
|
"Juggling ballet, soccer, swimming, and dinner on the same night",
|
|
"Kidz Bop on endless repeat",
|
|
"Lego landmines",
|
|
"Lint covered gummy bears",
|
|
"Little boy pee",
|
|
"Living on Goldfish and broken dreams",
|
|
"Losing the last of the baby weight",
|
|
"Losing their little minds over socksLying about Santa Claus",
|
|
"Mac and cheese for dinner ... again",
|
|
"Matching family outfits",
|
|
"Messy hair, don't care",
|
|
"Mimosas at the playdate",
|
|
"Mom, mommy, mommy, mom, mom, mommy, mom, MOM",
|
|
"Mommy brain",
|
|
"Mommy guilt",
|
|
"Mommy juice",
|
|
"Mommy time",
|
|
"Mommy's special toy",
|
|
"More glitter than a stripper",
|
|
"Morning wood",
|
|
"Mother-in-law advice",
|
|
"My fantasy social life",
|
|
"My non-existent sex life",
|
|
"My shattered dreams and aspirations",
|
|
"My unfinished baby book",
|
|
"Nap-trapped in the car",
|
|
"Never wanting them to grow up",
|
|
"Ninja like moves to get a toddler into their car seat",
|
|
"Niplash",
|
|
"Not giving a sh*t about the 3 second rule",
|
|
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing.",
|
|
"One too many damn kids",
|
|
"Parental advice from childless friends",
|
|
"Parenting advice from celebrities",
|
|
"Passive aggressive PTA parents",
|
|
"Paw Patrol plot holes",
|
|
"Peanut free zones",
|
|
"Peeing when you laugh",
|
|
"Peeing with an audience",
|
|
"Picture-perfect Pinterest moms",
|
|
"Placenta smoothie",
|
|
"Playground throwdown",
|
|
"Playing doctor",
|
|
"Poop. So much poop.",
|
|
"Pooping in the car seat",
|
|
"Poopspolsions",
|
|
"Pot brownies at the PTA meeting",
|
|
"Pregnancy sex",
|
|
"Premeditated meltdowns",
|
|
"Preschool social hierarchy",
|
|
"Pretending to give a damn",
|
|
"Pretending you're asleep so someone else will get the baby",
|
|
"Pretending your screaming kid does not belong to you",
|
|
"Projectile vomiting",
|
|
"Pumping in an airport bathroom",
|
|
"Quiet. Absolute quiet. For just five minutes.",
|
|
"Realizing your child will never earn an athletic scholarship",
|
|
"Recognizable fruit in the diaper",
|
|
"Revenge gifting annoying toys",
|
|
"Saggy post-pregnancy boobies",
|
|
"Sanctimommies",
|
|
"Saying \"I love you\" with puppy dog eyes",
|
|
"Saying no to having another child",
|
|
"School politics",
|
|
"Secretly coveting a minivan",
|
|
"Seeing Grandpa naked",
|
|
"Senseless YouTube videos",
|
|
"Shamelessly sniffing a child's butt in public",
|
|
"Sharpie lipstick",
|
|
"Shaving",
|
|
"Shaving the dog",
|
|
"Shopkins. So many Shopkins.",
|
|
"Single people sex life",
|
|
"Sketchy school bus drivers",
|
|
"Skidmark undies",
|
|
"Skipping bath time",
|
|
"Sleep deprivation",
|
|
"Smiling and pooping at the same time",
|
|
"Some princess sh*t",
|
|
"Spitting up right into your open mouth",
|
|
"Stay-at-home dads",
|
|
"Staying up late to do your child's project for them",
|
|
"Sticky fingers",
|
|
"Stinky farts",
|
|
"Stop licking your sister!",
|
|
"Stop playing with your penis!",
|
|
"Stranger danger.",
|
|
"Stripping to \"Let it Go\"",
|
|
"Sunday hangovers",
|
|
"Surprise lactation",
|
|
"Taking pride in your child's grammatically correct swearing",
|
|
"Teaching a child how to hock a loogie",
|
|
"Teaching the kids how to flick boogers",
|
|
"Tequila shots before the PTA meeting",
|
|
"That crusty sock",
|
|
"That f**king Elf on a Shelf",
|
|
"That first gray pubic hair",
|
|
"That one kid. You know the one. That one.",
|
|
"That one mom. You know the one. That one.",
|
|
"That time I ran out of baby wipes",
|
|
"The \"oops child\"",
|
|
"The American Girl store",
|
|
"The apocalyptic results of a granola bar in the hands of a toddler",
|
|
"The babysitter's lip gloss",
|
|
"The back to school happy dance",
|
|
"The bedside toddler zombie stare",
|
|
"The brilliant idea to buy white carpet",
|
|
"The cost of college in 2030",
|
|
"The count of three",
|
|
"The daily power struggle",
|
|
"The dreams your mother gave up to have you",
|
|
"The emptiness where parental love should be",
|
|
"The eternal question: \"Why?\"",
|
|
"The fallout of the first crush",
|
|
"The fallout when someone steals your baby name",
|
|
"The family restroom",
|
|
"The humiliation of a child teaching me how to use an iPad",
|
|
"The last of my inheritance",
|
|
"The lies we tell our children",
|
|
"The magic of Minecraft",
|
|
"The nightmare of 2 under 2",
|
|
"The pantsless wonder",
|
|
"The Rolls Royce of strollers",
|
|
"The second bottle of wine",
|
|
"The sex talk",
|
|
"The smug cloth diaper parent",
|
|
"The soul shattering lack of sleep",
|
|
"The sudden realization I've become my mother",
|
|
"The sweaty hand of a child",
|
|
"Their first sleepover",
|
|
"Those three magic words: \"They're at Grandma's.\"",
|
|
"Threenagers",
|
|
"Tickle fights at bedtime",
|
|
"Tiny terrorists",
|
|
"Toddler bribery",
|
|
"Toddler erections",
|
|
"Toddler leashes",
|
|
"Toilet bowl fishing",
|
|
"Toy inequality",
|
|
"Training bra shopping with dad",
|
|
"Trying again for a son",
|
|
"Tween sass",
|
|
"Two bottles of wine and a broken condom",
|
|
"Unrealistic expectations",
|
|
"Unsolicited parental advice",
|
|
"Urine fountains",
|
|
"Using the wrong sippy cup",
|
|
"Vodka bottle in the diaper bag",
|
|
"Wanting to punch Peppa Pig",
|
|
"Wanting to strangle the imaginary friend",
|
|
"Weeping with joy over the sweet sound of silence",
|
|
"Whipping out a boob",
|
|
"Wine and cheese Lunchables",
|
|
"Wine tasting after Sunday school",
|
|
"Winning the Charter School lottery",
|
|
"Wiping butts",
|
|
"Wishing you could just make a donation instead",
|
|
"A handjob from Edward Scissorhands.",
|
|
"A hyper-realistic sex doll with a vaginal cavity modeled after a famous pornstar.",
|
|
"A mushroom stamp.",
|
|
"A tattoo of Kim Kardashian taking a shit.",
|
|
"A tickle taint parade.",
|
|
"Actually menstruating that weird blue stuff from tampon commercials.",
|
|
"Affluenza.",
|
|
"Alabama: Sharia Law for Christians.",
|
|
"Almost having sex in a dream.",
|
|
"An actual skin flute.",
|
|
"Artfully disguised network television sex scenes.",
|
|
"Bagging up baking powder and marketing it to rich white kids.",
|
|
"Becoming a gynecologist so you can feel up teenage vaginas without fear of legal repercussions.",
|
|
"Being able to fit two five-year-olds in your pants.",
|
|
"Bill Clinton's \"other\" woodwind.",
|
|
"Bill O'Reilly's defense against the War on Christmas.",
|
|
"Billy Mays in a coke-fueled rage, beating the ever-loving shit out of the Slap-Chop® guy.",
|
|
"Blackface, but out of context.",
|
|
"Bombing the shit out of Gaza.",
|
|
"Bringing variety to the gangbang by suggesting we all use a different flavor of lube.",
|
|
"Browsing second-hand G-strings at the Salvation Army.",
|
|
"Butt chugging Mentos® and Diet Coke®.",
|
|
"Buttplugs?",
|
|
"Celebrating Martin Luther King Day by eating fried chicken and talking during movies.",
|
|
"Circumcisior.",
|
|
"CNN cutting away from the State of the Union to cover D-List celebrity tweets.",
|
|
"Coed prisons.",
|
|
"Coming to the sudden realization that if Superman were gay, he'd be the world's first Solar Power Bottom.",
|
|
"Competitive shitting.",
|
|
"Credit scores above 700.",
|
|
"Curing Ebola after it becomes a problem for people who actually matter.",
|
|
"David Cameron's bacon-flavoured balls.",
|
|
"Dildo Faggins and the Battle of Balls Deep.",
|
|
"Discovering a used condom in the last bite of an eclair.",
|
|
"Drones Without Borders.",
|
|
"English cuisine.",
|
|
"Gatorade® for breakfast.",
|
|
"Gifting home pregnancy tests for the office white elephant Christmas party.",
|
|
"Giving her the ol' Hot Cosby.",
|
|
"Hands, or as I like to call them, dick skinners.",
|
|
"Harnessing the athleticism of black people to finally win the World Cup.",
|
|
"Harriet Tubgirl.",
|
|
"Helicopter dick.",
|
|
"High recidivism rates among minorities.",
|
|
"Hitler in a swastika-embroidered thong.",
|
|
"Homoerotic ass slapping amongst athletes.",
|
|
"Honky-ass motherfuckers.",
|
|
"Insisting that, after we finally solve the Mexican problem, we start deporting Puerto Ricans, too.",
|
|
"Jared Fogle eating a little bit too fresh.",
|
|
"Jerry Sandusky's Balls for Kids Foundation.",
|
|
"Jizz hands.",
|
|
"Karl Rove's seventh chin.",
|
|
"Kitty porn.",
|
|
"Lysergic acid diethylamide.",
|
|
"Meatspin.",
|
|
"Melanin.",
|
|
"Middle-aged white women in yoga pants.",
|
|
"Mom's spaghetti.",
|
|
"More than enough semen to fill an Olympic-sized pool.",
|
|
"One cock ring to rule them all.",
|
|
"Optimus Prime having sex with a dishwasher.",
|
|
"Ordering baked anythingat the Holocaust Museum cafe.",
|
|
"Overthrowing the burger kind to establish a burger democracy.",
|
|
"Praying toward Mecca at the 9/11 Memorial.",
|
|
"Putting some stink on it.",
|
|
"Reciprocal foot fucking.",
|
|
"Republican Jesus.®",
|
|
"Returning in a time machine to command armies of fascism to a sweeping victory in the 1940s.",
|
|
"RIMjobs.com: Blackberry's failed career portal.",
|
|
"Semi-procreation.",
|
|
"Sexual object-oriented programming.",
|
|
"Shaq's massive horse cock.",
|
|
"Spicing it up in the bedroom with hot sauce on the end of a dick.",
|
|
"Steak Day at the strip club.",
|
|
"Subtle dehumanization.",
|
|
"Supreme Court justices who used to be into autoerotic asphyxiation.",
|
|
"Swiping right. With my dick.",
|
|
"Taking a selfie with Saddam Hussein's lifeless, hanging body.",
|
|
"That new cunt smell.",
|
|
"The awkward silence after someone farts in an adjacent bathroom stall.",
|
|
"The Bernie Sanders Post-Scarcity Communist Utopia.®",
|
|
"The Cobblepot: only one in the slit, but three way in the shit.",
|
|
"The double Filet-o-Fish® sandwich available only during Lent.",
|
|
"The fight to legalize gay weed.",
|
|
"The gayest Keebler® Elf.",
|
|
"The Huffington Post's page dedicated to sideboob.",
|
|
"The Islamic State.",
|
|
"The North American Free Trade Agreement, or, NAMBLA.",
|
|
"The Real Housewives of Hattiesburg, Mississippi.",
|
|
"The Spocker: two in the goo to live long, two in the poo to prosper.",
|
|
"The Trump International Border Fence Hotel and Casino.",
|
|
"Three-and-a-half inches of raw power.",
|
|
"Tom Brady's deflated balls.",
|
|
"Toxic Shock Syndrome.",
|
|
"Tribbing.",
|
|
"Watching so much pixelated Japanese porn that you can't help but rub one out whenever COPSis on.",
|
|
"Winning a United Negro College Fund scholarship to the Subway Sandwich University.",
|
|
"\"Too much bush,\" whatever that is.",
|
|
"A bacon cheeseburger.",
|
|
"A bearded clam.",
|
|
"A glitch in the matrix.",
|
|
"A horny Furby.",
|
|
"A nocturnal flamingo",
|
|
"A particularly tantalizing set of tatas.",
|
|
"A rape whistle.",
|
|
"A rotting whale corpse.",
|
|
"A sex doll the size and shape of a 7-year-old",
|
|
"A sex scene written by Dr. Seuss.",
|
|
"A straight man doing gay porn.",
|
|
"A suspicious stain on your pillow.",
|
|
"Asking a blind man if he saw the new \"Star Wars' movie.",
|
|
"Asking for a third refill of communion wine on a Sunday morning.",
|
|
"Babies infected with rabies.",
|
|
"Baby fat.",
|
|
"Ball ticklers",
|
|
"Being terrorized by a moth for eight hours.",
|
|
"Birthday strippers.",
|
|
"Black slaves.",
|
|
"Busting ... real quick.",
|
|
"Buying sex toys from Amazon Warehouse Deals.",
|
|
"Challenging a bear for his honey.",
|
|
"Cheap Chinese knockoffs.",
|
|
"Comcast customer service.",
|
|
"Death by Brazilian wax.",
|
|
"Donating a used dildo to the local thrift shop.",
|
|
"Earning $7k or more per week from the comfort of your home!",
|
|
"Eating a banana sensually in the cafeteria.",
|
|
"Faces of Meth.",
|
|
"Fingerpainting with your Mom's period blood.",
|
|
"Flipping a table onto an infant.",
|
|
"Getting on your knees to confess to your pastor, but on thing leads to another ...",
|
|
"Going to a children's hospital and streaking through the hallways.",
|
|
"Going to a strip club to vent your problems to a complete stranger.",
|
|
"Having a long history of mental illness. Being known for violence. And still qualifying to buy a gun, because this is America.",
|
|
"Having to \"collect\" bull sperm for a living.",
|
|
"Infinite pickles.",
|
|
"Insane Clown Posse.",
|
|
"Inspirational racism.",
|
|
"Internet friends.",
|
|
"It's not what it looks like, I swear! The cat fell on my cock accidentally!",
|
|
"Janice from accounting.",
|
|
"Jerkin' off with mittens.",
|
|
"Little boys.",
|
|
"Losing your innocence at church.",
|
|
"Making America Great Again, by getting rid of the Kardashians.",
|
|
"Minions.",
|
|
"Naked women and cocaine.",
|
|
"Ninja wearing sneakers.",
|
|
"One long, disgusting toenail.",
|
|
"Planting crack on a homeless man.",
|
|
"Playing a Vietnam War tap in a retirement home to give the veterans heart attacks.",
|
|
"Psych! It's a gas chamber.",
|
|
"Racing a penny down the Empire State Building.",
|
|
"Respecting my authoritah!!!",
|
|
"Sex and pizza.",
|
|
"Six dead hookers.",
|
|
"Sleeping with your best friend's wife.",
|
|
"Small feet.",
|
|
"Spam mail.",
|
|
"Stabbing someone with a cactus.",
|
|
"Steve Irwin dying the way he lived his life ... with animals in his heart.",
|
|
"That one guy who tells jokes and everyone laughs at them to make him feel better.",
|
|
"The broken dreams of a child.",
|
|
"The creepy, awkward stare of children.",
|
|
"The lack of black people in \"The Jetsons.\"",
|
|
"The right touch.",
|
|
"The whitest black person you know.",
|
|
"Using a hammer to fix a crying baby.",
|
|
"Using your phone as a vibrator.",
|
|
"Warriors, coming out to play-ayyyyyyy.",
|
|
"Watching porn on a library computer.",
|
|
"When \"Netflix and Chill\" turns into \"Netflix and Child.\"",
|
|
"Whipping it out, with force.",
|
|
"A baby pigeon.",
|
|
"A bromance that took a gay turn.",
|
|
"A deranged psychopath.",
|
|
"A grandma fixing sandwiches.",
|
|
"A gym teacher's wet socks.",
|
|
"A little boy's first boner.",
|
|
"A Megyn Kelly sex tape.",
|
|
"A micro vagina.",
|
|
"A sandy...sandy... vagina",
|
|
"All the dick pics.",
|
|
"An erotic cat meme.",
|
|
"An honest mistake.",
|
|
"An unenthusiastic H.J. behind the bleachers.",
|
|
"Basic bitches.",
|
|
"Being chased by wild geese.",
|
|
"Being stuck in a glass case of emotion.",
|
|
"Being very \"un-dude\"",
|
|
"Bejeweling your penis.",
|
|
"Bisexual robots.",
|
|
"Blind watchdogs.",
|
|
"Burger porn.",
|
|
"Cleaning the pipes like Mario.",
|
|
"Clown poop.",
|
|
"Dirk Diggler's gigantic penis.",
|
|
"Donald Trump's tiny hands.",
|
|
"Drones equipped with hot dog lasers.",
|
|
"Eating cocaine for breakfast.",
|
|
"Elizabeth Warren's vibrator.",
|
|
"Finger blasting.",
|
|
"Fuck you.",
|
|
"Getting a B.J. from John Snow.",
|
|
"Getting humped by a vicious Chihuahua.",
|
|
"Getting pegged for the first time.",
|
|
"Going back to Whore Island.",
|
|
"Good old fashion road head.",
|
|
"Grade \"A\" top choice meat.",
|
|
"Happiness in the form of Netflix and fellatio.",
|
|
"Hate fucking your enemies.",
|
|
"Instagram hoes.",
|
|
"Jared Leto's search history.",
|
|
"Jonathan Taylor Thomas.",
|
|
"Just the tip...........and the rest of the penis.",
|
|
"Kim Jong Un when he hasn't had his nap yet.",
|
|
"Korean ladyboys.",
|
|
"Kylie Jenner's lips.",
|
|
"Listening to a vegan explain why they are in fact vegan.",
|
|
"Loose skin.",
|
|
"Miley Cyrus behaving rationally.",
|
|
"Milking the cow.",
|
|
"Mistakingly peeking through a truck stop glory hole.",
|
|
"My left testicle.",
|
|
"No chill.",
|
|
"Pinocchio's dick.",
|
|
"Playing gay chicken.",
|
|
"Restless leg syndrome.",
|
|
"Scolding other peoples children.",
|
|
"Sharting & acting like it was a normal fart. Then waiting the appropriate amount of time before using the restroom to verify the damage.",
|
|
"Shoveling actual shit for a living.",
|
|
"Sour breast milk.",
|
|
"Sriracha baths.",
|
|
"Sticking a chili pepper where no chili pepper should ever be stuck.",
|
|
"Sweating out of everywhere. All the time. Forever.",
|
|
"Sweet pickles.",
|
|
"Taxing that ass like the IRS.",
|
|
"Telling Jack she'll never let go and then letting go anyways like a total bitch. There was room on that f*@king door for the both of you Rose. For the both of you.",
|
|
"The benefits of global warming.",
|
|
"The glue holding Trumps hair in place.",
|
|
"Trick or treating at Bill Cosby's house.",
|
|
"Unquenchable thirst for sperm.",
|
|
"Watching someone Whip/Nae Nae.",
|
|
"When Aunt Flo comes to town.",
|
|
"Winona Ryder's acting career.",
|
|
"Zero fucks.",
|
|
"380 grams of heroin.",
|
|
"72 Virgins, all of whom are babies.",
|
|
"A 10-minute shit on company time.",
|
|
"A big, fat, hairy, homosexual man.",
|
|
"A bomb that will go off at any second.",
|
|
"A Canadian dildo, made from an icicle.",
|
|
"A carnivorous plant that only eats Asians.",
|
|
"A Civil War reenactment gone horribly wrong.",
|
|
"A Columbine High School reunion.",
|
|
"A costly mistake.",
|
|
"A crisp $20 bill.",
|
|
"A crying stripper.",
|
|
"A diet consisting only of Mountain Dew, mini doughnuts, and beer.",
|
|
"A resting bitch face.",
|
|
"A tombstone reading \"Let Me Out.\"",
|
|
"A van full of screaming children.",
|
|
"A whale that's been declared obese.",
|
|
"Accidentally leaving the price tag on expensive presents.",
|
|
"Actually reading the terms and conditions.",
|
|
"Angering a family of raccoons.",
|
|
"Asking someone if they would like to \"drink your no-no tea.\"",
|
|
"ASL rap battles.",
|
|
"Bashing in someone's face with a spiked bat.",
|
|
"Beating someone else's kid for them.",
|
|
"Being addicted to penis.",
|
|
"Being forced to dissect your beloved pet.",
|
|
"Being white in a situation where that's actually disadvantageous.",
|
|
"Black Friday shoppers beating each other to death over -- and with -- $2 bath towels.",
|
|
"Blaming the holidays for your weight problems.",
|
|
"Chewbacca trimming his pubic hair.",
|
|
"CoD: Cum on Dicks.",
|
|
"Conspiracy theorists claiming that martial law is near.",
|
|
"Cooking meth in a 16-foot RV.",
|
|
"Drinking yourself into a coma at a Nevada brothel.",
|
|
"Faking a terminal illness.",
|
|
"Falling in love with your adopted sister.",
|
|
"Fat Chris Pratt.",
|
|
"Filming a street light on your phone.",
|
|
"Finding Daddy's porn collection.",
|
|
"Finger banging with the tampon still in.",
|
|
"Fishing with dynamite.",
|
|
"Floyd Mayweather's ego.",
|
|
"Four shots of tequila.",
|
|
"Getting stuck in traffic.",
|
|
"Getting turned on when your parents spank you.",
|
|
"Giving the finger to a policeman.",
|
|
"Jacking off until your dick vomits.",
|
|
"Killing all hostages.",
|
|
"Making Napoleon Blown-apart jokes too soon after the Paris attacks.",
|
|
"Men who do not get laid.",
|
|
"Midget orgies.",
|
|
"Parents that are too proud.",
|
|
"Paris Hilton on too much cocaine.",
|
|
"Pills that make your penis rock-hard.",
|
|
"Pilots joining the mile-high-club while auto-pilot gets you home safe.",
|
|
"Playing hide and seek better than Anne Frank.",
|
|
"Rape victims making fun of virgins.",
|
|
"Santa's lap.",
|
|
"Standing in the corner and rethinking your life choices.",
|
|
"Suicide photobombers.",
|
|
"Talking faster than a Thai hooker.",
|
|
"Teasing zoo animals.",
|
|
"Telling our child that \"fist\" can be a verb.",
|
|
"That girl in elementary school that was obsessed with horses.",
|
|
"That one annoying person who has to comment on every single card played.",
|
|
"The ever increasing paranoia parents have for their children.",
|
|
"The false hope given to the people of Africa.",
|
|
"The Jonas Brothers.",
|
|
"The magical gold-weaving spider that creates Donald Trump's hair every night.",
|
|
"The proper way to pronounce \"gif.\"",
|
|
"The smooth asses of babies.",
|
|
"Throwing silverware at a waitress.",
|
|
"Urinating in a crowded pool.",
|
|
"Using Amazon drones to send anthrax to politicians.",
|
|
"When your mother whips the wooden spoon out.",
|
|
"White people with dreads.",
|
|
"Whoever actually spent money on this game.",
|
|
"Y'all need Jesus.",
|
|
"Your boyfriend's mysterious emotional breakdown.",
|
|
"#MeToo",
|
|
"A 12 inch dick, a dozen roses, and a pick-up truck",
|
|
"A 40 year old scotch and a 10 year old girl",
|
|
"A bitch-slap for that bitch, Susan",
|
|
"A case of the collywobbles",
|
|
"A group of worthless minorities",
|
|
"A handful of Bill Cosby's quaaludes",
|
|
"A live-action remake of Shrek 2",
|
|
"A magician's assistant",
|
|
"A parody porn of Steel Magnolias",
|
|
"A perfect pulled pork poutine",
|
|
"A pretty standard giraffe",
|
|
"A prostate massage from Kathy Bates",
|
|
"A sharp surprise",
|
|
"A spontaneous 'Careless Whisper' saxophone solo",
|
|
"A tiny monkey wearing a fez",
|
|
"A touch of the 'tism",
|
|
"A wire coat hanger",
|
|
"Alone time with Kevin Spacey",
|
|
"An all female version of Saving Private Ryan tentatively titled Saving Sergeant Rhianna",
|
|
"An extremely impressive wet fart",
|
|
"An unvaccinated child",
|
|
"Baking soda",
|
|
"Beating the shit out of the next customer who says \"Doesn't scan? Must be free!\"",
|
|
"BIBLEMAN!",
|
|
"Black Jesus",
|
|
"Blowing a cop to get out of a speeding ticket",
|
|
"Buying an inbred Pug from a breeder just to watch it slowly suffocate to death over the next decade.",
|
|
"Chuck Norris' blatant homophobia",
|
|
"Clams Attempt Harmonica",
|
|
"Creed Bratton",
|
|
"Currently pregnant with Eddie Murphy's 58th child",
|
|
"Des Moines",
|
|
"Don Cherry",
|
|
"Dope as fuck!",
|
|
"Early onset retardation",
|
|
"Eeyore's inevitable suicide",
|
|
"Egg",
|
|
"Gary Busey",
|
|
"Generic Racism",
|
|
"Giving your bud a brojob to cheer him up after his goldfish died",
|
|
"Gluten",
|
|
"Grool",
|
|
"Handing out ecstasy in the NICU",
|
|
"Homeschooling your kids so the Algebra Devil can't get them",
|
|
"Lint",
|
|
"Lube",
|
|
"Malarkey",
|
|
"Mediocre pizza",
|
|
"Moby's dick",
|
|
"Monkey Bars. Not the things on a playground, but a bunch of Chimps sitting around drinking Jack and Cokes, playing pool, and listening to George Thorogood",
|
|
"Mr. Sunshine on my god damn shoulders, John Denver",
|
|
"My asshole after a night with Sean Evans",
|
|
"Naked pictures of Bea Arthur and a football helmet filled with cottage cheese",
|
|
"One bottle of good wine and 3 bottles of blended garbage",
|
|
"One rude motherfucker",
|
|
"Randy. FUCKING. Newman",
|
|
"Recognizing your cousin on PornHub",
|
|
"Ripping off one company, who already ripped off another company, who stole the idea from another company.",
|
|
"Running over your wife in the driveway",
|
|
"Spending $12,000 a year on dildos",
|
|
"Spoons",
|
|
"Sticking your dick in the gorilla exhibit",
|
|
"Tequila shits",
|
|
"The guy at the table who doesn't get any of the jokes",
|
|
"The Legend of Curly's Gold",
|
|
"The Scottish",
|
|
"The smell of Bronycon",
|
|
"Trusting a fart when you have the flu",
|
|
"Turkey calls",
|
|
"Using the bible for rolling papers",
|
|
"Werewolves, not Swearwolves",
|
|
"Willingly becoming an orphan",
|
|
"Winning a gift certificate for the local brothel by cashing in 18 years worth of tickets at the arcade.",
|
|
"Your average BMW driver",
|
|
"Your mom after she's read Lady Chatterly's Lover",
|
|
"300 days of sunshine, 365 days of white people.",
|
|
"A forest fire that finally destroys that finally destroys Colorado Springs.",
|
|
"A group of nuns on Ecstasy finger blasting themselves outside of The Church.",
|
|
"A redneck finding out the hard way The Wrangler isn't a jeans store.",
|
|
"A vagina that tastes like the bathroom floors at Tom's Diner.",
|
|
"Accidentally showing your homemade porno at Film on the Rocks.",
|
|
"Adele Arakawa: Providing informed, reliable boners weekdays at 6, 10, and 11pm.",
|
|
"American Furniture Whorehouse.",
|
|
"An asshole with dreadlocks.",
|
|
"Assuming anything with \"Rocky Mountain\" in the name is made with bull balls.",
|
|
"Blucifer? I barely know'cifer!",
|
|
"Breaking out your winter mirkin.",
|
|
"Casa Bonita's even shittier location, Casa Vomita.",
|
|
"Cheesman Park: where you can bury a bone AND uncover one.",
|
|
"Columbine High School's new mascot, the Fightin' Early-Intervention Peer Mediator.",
|
|
"Confusing Denver Health with a dispensary.",
|
|
"Dealin' Doug, dealin' drugs.",
|
|
"Denver turning down the Olympics so that it could focus on its band.",
|
|
"Drunk Frank Azar trying to show you his \"Strong Arm\" again.",
|
|
"Electing Snoop Dogg as District Comptroller of the Cannabis Cup.",
|
|
"Farting on the MallRide.",
|
|
"Getting fisted at First Friday.",
|
|
"Getting in trouble for referring to your wife as \"Kegs and Eggs.\"",
|
|
"Getting the first bloody diarrhea at the first Chipotle®.",
|
|
"Getting your period in the hallway at The Stanley Hotel aftr drinking too much rum.",
|
|
"Giving your kid a B-Cycle™ for Christmas.",
|
|
"Going to the Bluebird to see indie rock band Nippless Cage.",
|
|
"Greeley: where if it doesn't smell like shit, you're not in Greeley.",
|
|
"Hate fucking a Subaru™.",
|
|
"Having your favorite chilldhood memory replaced by a mixed-use condo.",
|
|
"Hotboxing the Balloon Boy.",
|
|
"Jenga® made with breakfast burritos.",
|
|
"Jizz in the Park.",
|
|
"John Elway and Peyton Manning's huge headed love child.",
|
|
"John Elway's football shaped cock.",
|
|
"JonBenet Ramsey's cold, dead future.",
|
|
"Leaving a trail of crushed Dale's Pale Ale cans when hiking to find your way back home.",
|
|
"Letting Patrick Roy hit your wife because you're SUCH A HUGE FAN.",
|
|
"Mistaking the Zombie Crawl for a homeless uprising.",
|
|
"North Commerce City After Dark.",
|
|
"Ordering the 7lb Jack-n-Grill burrito because you miss your dead baby.",
|
|
"Organizing a pedal bar event for the handicapped.",
|
|
"Panning for gold in Aurora (robbing your neighbor's house).",
|
|
"Playing the pianos on the 16th St Mall with your genitals.",
|
|
"Pueblo: Colorado's grundle.",
|
|
"Punch Bowl Social®: where Tinder comes to life.",
|
|
"Realizing Colorado natives were actually the Native Americans.",
|
|
"Remembering Chubby's when it was flaccid.",
|
|
"Screaming \"JESUS! FUCK, NOT AGAIN!\" while at the Denver Aquarium Shipwreck exhibit.",
|
|
"Sending $3,000 on ski equipment that sits in the front hall closet for 15 years.",
|
|
"Serving jail time for making eight-year-olds reenact THAT South Park episode.",
|
|
"Shannon Shart Adult Diapers™.",
|
|
"Stringing piano wire across a street right before the Denver Cruisers turn the corner.",
|
|
"Taking dick pics at Tiny Town so it looks HUGE.",
|
|
"Taking the kids to Lakeside because you don't love them anymore.",
|
|
"That unmistakable Colfax itch.",
|
|
"The 3 Jamaicans at Reggae on the Rocks.",
|
|
"The Brown Palace: A place and a rich guy sex move!",
|
|
"The DIA Devil Horse having a field day with your butt.",
|
|
"The only black guy in Aspen.",
|
|
"The popular local sex move, the Steamboat Spring.",
|
|
"The Ryan Gosling of Commerce City.",
|
|
"The underrepresentation of African-American dancers at Blues events.",
|
|
"The unshaved undercarriage of a Boulder Trustafarian.",
|
|
"The XXX Games.",
|
|
"Tim Tebow's Reign of Christian Terror.",
|
|
"Tour de Fat bottom girls.",
|
|
"Traffic going to the mountains, because traffic needs to get out of town sometimes, too.",
|
|
"Water World's Thunder Bay Wave Pool filled with jizz and tears.",
|
|
"Whispering \"Green chile is people!\"",
|
|
"20g of street tik",
|
|
"939 Million 3000 and 60000 members",
|
|
"A bag of pickled socks.",
|
|
"A decent fucking Internet connection.",
|
|
"A defective condom",
|
|
"A dissapointing birthday party.",
|
|
"A gentle music box rendition of \"Gangnam Style\"",
|
|
"a homoerotic volleyball montage.",
|
|
"A lifetime of Sadness.",
|
|
"a mature man who uses hair-oil",
|
|
"A monotone audiobook narrator.",
|
|
"a murder most foul.",
|
|
"A sad hunk with an extra ballsack.",
|
|
"A sassy coloured woman.",
|
|
"A SEAL platoon twerking to trap music.",
|
|
"A snotklap",
|
|
"A squirt gun full of cat pee.",
|
|
"A Vuvuzela.",
|
|
"Accidentally peeing a little bit.",
|
|
"Active Listening.",
|
|
"All-you-can-eat buffalo wings for R45.00",
|
|
"An erection that lasts for hours.",
|
|
"an icessant murdering",
|
|
"Another goddamn candid camera movie.",
|
|
"Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu.",
|
|
"Arnold Vosloo.",
|
|
"Asiains who aren't good at math.",
|
|
"Authentic Indian curry.",
|
|
"Autocorrect",
|
|
"Beggers at robots.",
|
|
"Being fabulous",
|
|
"Bingeing and Purging.",
|
|
"Black People.",
|
|
"Boere Musiek.",
|
|
"Boerewors.",
|
|
"Bosveld lapa porn.",
|
|
"Breaking the rules to keep a promise.",
|
|
"Breitbridge border guards.",
|
|
"Cards Against South Africa.",
|
|
"Centuries of tribal disputes and sectarian violence.",
|
|
"Chainsaws instead of hands.",
|
|
"Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam!",
|
|
"Charlize Theron.",
|
|
"Cockhenge.",
|
|
"conscealing a boner.",
|
|
"Consultants",
|
|
"Cosplay cats.",
|
|
"Delousing hair Shampoo for pupils.",
|
|
"Doin' it up the bum.",
|
|
"Drinking an entire bottle of NyQuil to induce hibernation.",
|
|
"Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake sale.",
|
|
"Eating thelast known rhinoceros",
|
|
"Edblo mattresses.",
|
|
"Eish, that thing with the dongle.",
|
|
"Elderly Korean men.",
|
|
"Emergency Sex",
|
|
"Epol® pet food.",
|
|
"Ethnic Cleansing.",
|
|
"Exaggerated income tax credits.",
|
|
"Exchanging six cents worth of beads to see breasts.",
|
|
"F.W. De Klerk",
|
|
"Feeding Jacob Zuma.",
|
|
"Forgtting Bloodriver.",
|
|
"Former Presiden P.W. Botha",
|
|
"Francois Pienaar's acting career.",
|
|
"Free tickets to semi-pro sporting events and other pathetic charitable offerings.",
|
|
"Friendly Fire.",
|
|
"Genital Piercings.",
|
|
"Getting drunk.",
|
|
"Getting naked and watching Wielie-Walie",
|
|
"Getting so angry you pop a boner.",
|
|
"Glooooooooooooooooooooria.",
|
|
"God's burning finger",
|
|
"Golden Showers.",
|
|
"Harry Potter male pregnancy fan fiction",
|
|
"Heat-Seeking Love Missile.",
|
|
"Helen Zille being harried by a swarm of Indian Mynah birds.",
|
|
"Highveld Thunderstorms.",
|
|
"His Royal Highness King Goodwill Zwelithini kaBhekuzulu.",
|
|
"Homeless voters.",
|
|
"Horrifying laser tattoo removal accidents.",
|
|
"Inappropriately handling your ex-girlfriend's underthings before returning them to her.",
|
|
"Informal settlement real estate agent.",
|
|
"Jack Parow",
|
|
"Jacob Zuma giving the money back",
|
|
"Jan can Riebeeck.",
|
|
"Jewish Mafia.",
|
|
"Julius Malema",
|
|
"Julius Malema talking dirty.",
|
|
"Kids with Cancer.",
|
|
"Landmines.",
|
|
"Leon Schuster candid camera prank.",
|
|
"making a prodigious sensation",
|
|
"Malva Pudding.",
|
|
"Mandoza.",
|
|
"Mathatma Ghandi.",
|
|
"Miriam Makeba.",
|
|
"Mr. Muscle, right behind you.",
|
|
"Mullets.",
|
|
"Muzzy.",
|
|
"My Soul.",
|
|
"my vintage trucker hat collection",
|
|
"Nataniel.",
|
|
"Old people smell.",
|
|
"Ostriches.",
|
|
"Passable Transvestites.",
|
|
"Passive-aggressive Post-it® notes.",
|
|
"Patricia de Lille's arms.",
|
|
"Penis Envy.",
|
|
"Phoning Telkom support and expecting the call to be no longer than 5 minutes.",
|
|
"Picking up the soap.",
|
|
"Poor people.",
|
|
"Poorly-times racist jokes.",
|
|
"Pornographic cake toppers.",
|
|
"Potholes.",
|
|
"Praying the wrong Glory Be.",
|
|
"Racially-biased employment equity questions.",
|
|
"Racist Undertones.",
|
|
"Riaan cruywagen.",
|
|
"Riding in a mini-van taxi.",
|
|
"Ritalin®.",
|
|
"Rugby Players.",
|
|
"scientology.",
|
|
"Seductive dancing",
|
|
"Shaka Zulu.",
|
|
"Sharing Needles.",
|
|
"Sharlto Copley.",
|
|
"Slavery.",
|
|
"Speaking eleven official languages of South Africa.",
|
|
"Speed pitching a dog turd into a Black Hawk's spinning tail rotor.",
|
|
"Spicy braai broodjie.",
|
|
"Stifiling a giggle at the mention of Diepkloof and Tietiesbaai.",
|
|
"Super self-confidence",
|
|
"swift glances of warm, wild bosoms",
|
|
"Switching to Proudly South African.",
|
|
"Team building activities.",
|
|
"Tellytubbies.",
|
|
"Tentacle Porn.",
|
|
"The ANC.",
|
|
"The big bang.",
|
|
"The Blue Bulls rugby team.",
|
|
"The Boers",
|
|
"The Cape Coloureds.",
|
|
"The class divide.",
|
|
"The EFF",
|
|
"The Groot Trek",
|
|
"The hardworking Nigerian.",
|
|
"The Helen Zille seal of approval.",
|
|
"The little engine that could.",
|
|
"The long walk to freedom.",
|
|
"The Make-A-Wish® foundation.",
|
|
"The Marikana Massacre.",
|
|
"The Oros man.",
|
|
"The Popemobile.",
|
|
"The rapture.",
|
|
"The Tex-Mex shits.",
|
|
"The violation of our most basic human rights",
|
|
"The white minority",
|
|
"Third world abortion clinics.",
|
|
"Tokeloshe",
|
|
"Toyi-toying.",
|
|
"Trevor Noah",
|
|
"Tsotsis wielding non-traditional weapons.",
|
|
"Unfilitered stupidity.",
|
|
"Viagra®",
|
|
"Vigorous jazz hands.",
|
|
"Vigorously humping on the dance floor.",
|
|
"Waking up half-naked in a Makro™ parking lot",
|
|
"White People",
|
|
"White Privilege.",
|
|
"Wiating 'til marriage.",
|
|
"Winnie Madikizela Mandela",
|
|
"Woman's suffrage.",
|
|
"Women in yogurt commercials.",
|
|
"Women of color.",
|
|
"Woolies Heat-n-Eat.",
|
|
"Yogi-sip.",
|
|
"Zulus.",
|
|
"69",
|
|
"9 inch dildo",
|
|
"A French Maid",
|
|
"A Golden Shower",
|
|
"A Hairy Sphincter",
|
|
"A Home Intruder",
|
|
"A Naked Wrestling Competition",
|
|
"A Nooner",
|
|
"A One Night Stand",
|
|
"A Police Officer",
|
|
"A Rabbit Vibe",
|
|
"A Secretary",
|
|
"A Sex Swing",
|
|
"A Sex Swing (DUPE)",
|
|
"A Sexy Mud Fight",
|
|
"A Soft Pink Hole",
|
|
"A Thumb",
|
|
"A Too Small Thong",
|
|
"A Waterproof Vibrator",
|
|
"A Wet Pussy",
|
|
"Accidental Butt Sex",
|
|
"Adult Porn Awards Bathroom",
|
|
"Anal beads.",
|
|
"Ankle Choker",
|
|
"Anus",
|
|
"Bad Breath",
|
|
"Ball Gag",
|
|
"Banana",
|
|
"Bar Bathroom",
|
|
"Bathtub",
|
|
"Beaver",
|
|
"Behind a Convenience Store",
|
|
"Being Tasty",
|
|
"Ben Wa Balls",
|
|
"Bent",
|
|
"Big Cucumber",
|
|
"Bind",
|
|
"Biting",
|
|
"Blow Job",
|
|
"Blown Out O-Ring",
|
|
"Body Stocking",
|
|
"Boobie Sex",
|
|
"Boring Missionary",
|
|
"Bottle Service at the Club",
|
|
"Boxing the Clown",
|
|
"Bra",
|
|
"Break- Up Sex",
|
|
"Breasts",
|
|
"Broom Stick",
|
|
"Bubble Bath",
|
|
"Bum Fucker",
|
|
"Bumping Uglies",
|
|
"Bunghole",
|
|
"Bustier",
|
|
"Butt Floss",
|
|
"Butt Plug",
|
|
"Butt Stuff",
|
|
"Buttholes",
|
|
"Call me \"Daddy\"",
|
|
"Caress",
|
|
"Cat-O-Nine Tails",
|
|
"Champagne",
|
|
"Chocolate Syrup",
|
|
"Choke on a Dick",
|
|
"Choking",
|
|
"Chopped",
|
|
"Climax",
|
|
"Clothes Oin",
|
|
"Cock Ring",
|
|
"Cock Sucking Lips",
|
|
"Cocks",
|
|
"Cocksucker",
|
|
"Commando",
|
|
"Condom",
|
|
"Creamy Thighs",
|
|
"Cried After Orgasming",
|
|
"Cum",
|
|
"Cum Guzzler",
|
|
"Cumming Hard",
|
|
"Cunnilingus",
|
|
"Dad's Dick Hair",
|
|
"Deep Stick",
|
|
"Deep-fried anything",
|
|
"Deez Nuts",
|
|
"Dental Dam",
|
|
"Dick",
|
|
"Diddle",
|
|
"Dirty Moist Vagina",
|
|
"Dirty Movies",
|
|
"Dirty Panties",
|
|
"Discolored Puss",
|
|
"Doggie-Style",
|
|
"Dominatrix",
|
|
"Dong",
|
|
"Double Ended Dildo",
|
|
"Double Fisting",
|
|
"double penetration double anal",
|
|
"Downtown Port-o-Potty",
|
|
"Easy D",
|
|
"Ejaculating",
|
|
"Facial",
|
|
"Fat Thick Cock",
|
|
"Feet",
|
|
"Felatio",
|
|
"Filthy",
|
|
"Fish Taco",
|
|
"Fishnet Stockings",
|
|
"Fisting",
|
|
"Flavored Condom",
|
|
"Flavored Lube",
|
|
"Flick My Bick",
|
|
"Flicking the Bean",
|
|
"Flogger",
|
|
"Flying Circus Sex",
|
|
"Fondle",
|
|
"Foreplay involving CLP, an MRE heater, and a green wool sock.",
|
|
"Fornicate",
|
|
"From Behind",
|
|
"Fucking a Blow-Up Doll",
|
|
"Gag",
|
|
"Gaping Butt-Hole",
|
|
"Garter Belt",
|
|
"Gateway Game",
|
|
"Gelatin Dessert",
|
|
"Genitals",
|
|
"Gimp Mask",
|
|
"Give a Fuck",
|
|
"Giving Road Head",
|
|
"Glory Hole",
|
|
"Glory Hole (DUPE)",
|
|
"Go-Go Boots and a Crop",
|
|
"Grabbing that Crotch",
|
|
"Grandpa's Saggy Balls",
|
|
"Grinding",
|
|
"Hair Pulling",
|
|
"Hairy erect nipples",
|
|
"Handcuffs, duct tape, and a ball gag.",
|
|
"Having a Threesome",
|
|
"Hire that Stripper",
|
|
"Hog-Ties",
|
|
"Homie Hopping",
|
|
"Honey",
|
|
"Hook Up",
|
|
"Hot Wax",
|
|
"Humiliated",
|
|
"In a Car",
|
|
"In Your Behind",
|
|
"Incest.",
|
|
"Jacking Off in Public",
|
|
"Just the Tip",
|
|
"Keeping it in the Family",
|
|
"Kegel Balls",
|
|
"Kinky",
|
|
"Kissing Your Sister",
|
|
"Labia",
|
|
"Lace",
|
|
"Lap Dance",
|
|
"Last Night",
|
|
"Leather jackets.",
|
|
"Libido",
|
|
"Licking Dirty Pussy",
|
|
"Long Hairy Nipples",
|
|
"Lots-O-Lube",
|
|
"Lucky Sock",
|
|
"Make-up sex.",
|
|
"Male Madturbator",
|
|
"Male Masturbation Sleeve",
|
|
"Massage Oil",
|
|
"Masturbating",
|
|
"Me So Horny",
|
|
"Micro Penis",
|
|
"Middle Finger",
|
|
"Moaning",
|
|
"Moist",
|
|
"Mom's Saggy Tits",
|
|
"Money Shot",
|
|
"Mushroom Tip",
|
|
"My Face",
|
|
"My Face (DUPE)",
|
|
"My Foot In Your Ass",
|
|
"Naked Body",
|
|
"Naughty Nurse",
|
|
"Naughty Schoolgirl",
|
|
"Nipple Clamps",
|
|
"Nominee for \"Best Anal Video\"",
|
|
"NY Subway Tunnel",
|
|
"Old Homeless Man",
|
|
"On the Couch",
|
|
"One-Eyed Monster",
|
|
"Only One Touch",
|
|
"Orangutan",
|
|
"Orgasm",
|
|
"Paddling",
|
|
"Pain",
|
|
"Pantyhose",
|
|
"Pecker",
|
|
"Pee a Little",
|
|
"Penetrate",
|
|
"Penetrating",
|
|
"Penis breath.",
|
|
"Pinch",
|
|
"Pirates",
|
|
"Pooty-Tang",
|
|
"Porn Convention",
|
|
"Porn Star",
|
|
"Pound Harder",
|
|
"Prick",
|
|
"Prisoner",
|
|
"Prolapsed Anus",
|
|
"Pubic Hair",
|
|
"Public Restroom Downtown",
|
|
"Pussy Juice",
|
|
"Put Down the Rubeer Sheets",
|
|
"Rabbit Fuck",
|
|
"Rear Ended",
|
|
"Resort Hot Tub",
|
|
"Revenge Sex",
|
|
"Reverse Cowgirl",
|
|
"Rope",
|
|
"Rope (DUPE)",
|
|
"Running a Train",
|
|
"Running Shoes",
|
|
"Sauna",
|
|
"Schlong",
|
|
"Scratching Your Back",
|
|
"Screaming Orgasm",
|
|
"Screwing",
|
|
"Scrotum",
|
|
"Secret Lover",
|
|
"Seduce",
|
|
"Sending Nudes",
|
|
"Sex",
|
|
"Sex Slave",
|
|
"Sexting the wrong person",
|
|
"Sexy Pillow Fight",
|
|
"Sharting (DUPE)",
|
|
"Shooting a Porno",
|
|
"Shower Head",
|
|
"Skin",
|
|
"Skinny Dipping",
|
|
"Slapping",
|
|
"Slut",
|
|
"Slutastic",
|
|
"Smelly Pussy",
|
|
"Sniffing Butts",
|
|
"Spooning",
|
|
"Spring Break Booze Cruise",
|
|
"Squirting after eating asparagus.",
|
|
"Standing Rear Entry",
|
|
"Start to Vomit",
|
|
"STDs",
|
|
"Still being a virgin.",
|
|
"Stimulate",
|
|
"Strapping on a Dildo",
|
|
"Stretch",
|
|
"Striptease",
|
|
"Stupefied",
|
|
"Sucking",
|
|
"Swallowing",
|
|
"Talking Dirty",
|
|
"Taxi",
|
|
"Teaser",
|
|
"Testicles",
|
|
"The Best Oral Sex Ever",
|
|
"The Chubby Cheerleader",
|
|
"The Plow",
|
|
"Throbbing",
|
|
"Throwing-Up",
|
|
"Tight Pussy",
|
|
"tits and ass",
|
|
"Titty Fuck",
|
|
"Torture",
|
|
"Tossing salad.",
|
|
"Two Hands",
|
|
"Underwear negotiations",
|
|
"Using a Belt",
|
|
"Using a Penis Pump",
|
|
"Using Ice Cubes",
|
|
"Using Shackles",
|
|
"Using the Tip of my Tongue",
|
|
"Vertical Smile",
|
|
"Vertical Smile (DUPE)",
|
|
"Vibrating Panties",
|
|
"Vibrator",
|
|
"Video",
|
|
"Wanker",
|
|
"Wee Wee",
|
|
"Wheelbarrow",
|
|
"While Standing",
|
|
"Whip",
|
|
"Whipped Cream",
|
|
"With a Stripper",
|
|
"With Socks and Shoes On",
|
|
"Your Daughter's Pussy",
|
|
"Your Son's Penis",
|
|
"A bag of hammers.",
|
|
"A bag of tainted shrimp",
|
|
"A bucket of fish heads.",
|
|
"A fig tree.",
|
|
"A girl.",
|
|
"A meat whistle.",
|
|
"A nice cup of tea.",
|
|
"A peanut butter and KY Jelly sandwich.",
|
|
"A racist uncle",
|
|
"A Shamrock Shake",
|
|
"A soggy bowl of corn flakes",
|
|
"A specially trained robot that tortures annoying family members.",
|
|
"A Stetson and set of spurs.",
|
|
"a tacky fashion sense",
|
|
"A turd burglar",
|
|
"A whole cheese pizza just for me.",
|
|
"Allahu Akbar!",
|
|
"Am man crush.",
|
|
"Argentine Tango.",
|
|
"Battlefield amputations.",
|
|
"Being caught masturbating by your Mum",
|
|
"Being just dark enough to be labeled a terrorist.",
|
|
"Being really unprepared for Picture Day.",
|
|
"Books I'll never read",
|
|
"Broken condoms",
|
|
"Crotchless knickers",
|
|
"Diaper blowouts",
|
|
"Dick pics.",
|
|
"Dickbutt.",
|
|
"Doing things to Ma, in front of Pa.",
|
|
"Freeing a fart from its butt prison.",
|
|
"going solo",
|
|
"Hillary Clinton's wig.",
|
|
"Hot Sister Thursdays at the Lackland BX.",
|
|
"Iggy Azalea's appropriation of black cultre.",
|
|
"Irrational optimism.",
|
|
"it'll look big in your hands",
|
|
"Me luck Charms!",
|
|
"Nutella.",
|
|
"One Night in Paris.",
|
|
"ONLY WRITING IN ALL CAPS.",
|
|
"Quietly tucking my penis under my belt.",
|
|
"Santorum: a frothy mixture of semen and fecal matter.",
|
|
"Sharing a bank account.",
|
|
"Sheriff Joe Arpaio.",
|
|
"Shit.",
|
|
"Shut the fuck up, Carl!",
|
|
"Sitting at the end of the pew so late people can't get in.",
|
|
"Skateboard road rash.",
|
|
"Stank Dick.",
|
|
"Sugar Bear™",
|
|
"The cockpocalypse.",
|
|
"The diminishing purity of the white race.",
|
|
"The MWR tour you're no longer allowed to join.",
|
|
"The pooping position.",
|
|
"The scientific theory that gayness is caused by being bitten by a radioactive gay guy.",
|
|
"The sound of Adam Vaughan giving birth to a child",
|
|
"The Thong Song.",
|
|
"the wetter, the better",
|
|
"The youth.",
|
|
"they don't pay me enough for this",
|
|
"This old lady next to me who won't stop farting.",
|
|
"Tinder.",
|
|
"Tyra Bank's fat years.",
|
|
"Winking arseholes",
|
|
"You know, one of them sorts of things.",
|
|
"Your boyfriend revealing Cupid isn't the only fairy on Valentine's Day.",
|
|
"A 50 Shades of Grey sex party.",
|
|
"A basket of deplorables.",
|
|
"A classic murder/suicide.",
|
|
"A collection of used pregnancy tests.",
|
|
"A courtesy flush.",
|
|
"A dad bod.",
|
|
"A desperate mall Santa with nothing to lose.",
|
|
"A dump so intense you have to shower afterwards.",
|
|
"A female erection.",
|
|
"A fist full of pubes.",
|
|
"A game of \"find that smell\".",
|
|
"A Game of Thrones incest scene.",
|
|
"A giant 300-pound Chinese baby wearing tinted aviator glasses.",
|
|
"A gynecologist digging deep...for compliments.",
|
|
"A half assed hand job.",
|
|
"A Hello Kitty fetish.",
|
|
"A huge bitch.",
|
|
"A lifetime of bad decisions.",
|
|
"A long overdue shower.",
|
|
"A prostate massage.",
|
|
"A Shake Weight.",
|
|
"A toaster that understands love.",
|
|
"Alternative facts.",
|
|
"An alien anal probe.",
|
|
"An old toothless woman sucking the jelly out of a donut.",
|
|
"Backhanded compliments.",
|
|
"Baked ass.",
|
|
"Balls in your mouth.",
|
|
"Bangkok prostitutes.",
|
|
"Being gay for pay.",
|
|
"Bestiality, but with balloon animals.",
|
|
"Big booty hoes.",
|
|
"Boats 'N Hoes.",
|
|
"Bumping uglies.",
|
|
"Chocolate salty balls.",
|
|
"Clean urine.",
|
|
"Clearing out the room with a fart.",
|
|
"Climaxing when the video starts to buffer.",
|
|
"College rejection letters.",
|
|
"College students turning alcohol into regret.",
|
|
"Competitive spooning.",
|
|
"Consensual sex with a gorilla.",
|
|
"Constantly wetting the bed.",
|
|
"Crime scene sex.",
|
|
"Crop dusting.",
|
|
"Doing something stupid like running a full marathon for fun.",
|
|
"Eating vagina like it's your job.",
|
|
"Erotic waterboarding.",
|
|
"Expired stool samples.",
|
|
"F***ing Millennials.",
|
|
"Fanny packs.",
|
|
"Farting on queue.",
|
|
"Flashing your genitals in public.",
|
|
"Free blood, no questions asked.",
|
|
"Free hugs.",
|
|
"Frenemies.",
|
|
"Getting handsy in the church confessional.",
|
|
"Getting hard for literally no reason.",
|
|
"Giving HIV patients a placebo.",
|
|
"Guys with calf implants.",
|
|
"Half a bottle of lube and a used condom.",
|
|
"Hepatitis A, B & C!",
|
|
"Hideous man boobs.",
|
|
"Hitting on women at Planned Parenthood.",
|
|
"Horny old men on Cialis.",
|
|
"Hot girl on girl action.",
|
|
"Humongous areolas.",
|
|
"Jerking it every chance you get.",
|
|
"Killing your enemies and eating them to gain their power.",
|
|
"Live streaming a circumcision.",
|
|
"Losing your virginity to a warm apple pie.",
|
|
"Male lactation.",
|
|
"Martha Stewart's gold plated vagina.",
|
|
"Men getting mani-pedis.",
|
|
"Mormons who don't live in Utah.",
|
|
"My dumb friends.",
|
|
"Nipple clamps.",
|
|
"No child left behind.",
|
|
"Not safe for work email forwards.",
|
|
"Panther urine.",
|
|
"People who change gender every time they sneeze.",
|
|
"Pile after pile of expired condoms.",
|
|
"Poop soup.",
|
|
"Racist undertones.",
|
|
"Realizing too late that your medication is for rectal use only.",
|
|
"Refusing to vaccinate your kids. Not because you're anti-vaccine. You just hate your kids.",
|
|
"Reruns of The Golden Girls.",
|
|
"Sex on her period.",
|
|
"Shake 'n Bake.",
|
|
"Size Queens.",
|
|
"Sluts.",
|
|
"Straight up kicking a stranger in the face.",
|
|
"Taking your mother to prom.",
|
|
"Teaching old people to use computers.",
|
|
"Terminal diarrhea.",
|
|
"That awkward moment when you realize, not only is your fly down but, your dick is hanging out.",
|
|
"That friend who never shut up about Crossfit.",
|
|
"The Batmobile.",
|
|
"The buddy system.",
|
|
"The liberal bubble.",
|
|
"The morbidly obese using Slip 'n Slides.",
|
|
"Tinder bathroom hookups.",
|
|
"Tom Hanks shouting, \"There's no crying in baseball!\"",
|
|
"Trump's America.",
|
|
"Trying to pee with a massive boner.",
|
|
"TSA cavity searches.",
|
|
"Wetting your pants on purpose.",
|
|
"Women who pee standing up.",
|
|
"Zombie porn.",
|
|
"#Hashtag",
|
|
"20,000 Leagues Under the Sea™",
|
|
"A dirty Q-Tip™",
|
|
"A fat sports analyst",
|
|
"a hole",
|
|
"A pinata full of baked beans",
|
|
"A Plunger",
|
|
"A sponge",
|
|
"A teaspoon full of toenail clippings",
|
|
"A three legged tiger chasing a gazelle",
|
|
"A unicorn farting rainbows",
|
|
"A years supply of turkey jerky",
|
|
"Achy breaky mullets",
|
|
"After concert morning voice",
|
|
"Alien probing",
|
|
"All hail the sofa king!",
|
|
"An entire day without using the internet",
|
|
"Atomic wedgies",
|
|
"Awesome sauce",
|
|
"Awkwardly getting caught sitting next to my sibling on the kiss cam",
|
|
"Back boobs",
|
|
"Backpack burrito",
|
|
"Bacon strips",
|
|
"Bag of pickled pigs feet",
|
|
"Baking an air muffin",
|
|
"Baking brownies",
|
|
"Banana hammock",
|
|
"Bangkok",
|
|
"Barking spiders",
|
|
"Bat wings",
|
|
"Bearded lady",
|
|
"Bees knees",
|
|
"Being poned",
|
|
"Big butts",
|
|
"Biscuits n' gravy",
|
|
"Blackbeard",
|
|
"Boobs",
|
|
"Boogers",
|
|
"Brain kernels in zombie poop",
|
|
"Brown clowns",
|
|
"Bubble Guppies™",
|
|
"Bung-O the clown",
|
|
"Burpees",
|
|
"Burping out candles",
|
|
"Butt bingo",
|
|
"Butt flood",
|
|
"Butt lovers pizza",
|
|
"Butt thermometer",
|
|
"Camel toenail",
|
|
"Camp Dickie-doo",
|
|
"Captain America's™ shield",
|
|
"Captain Obvious",
|
|
"Captain Underpants",
|
|
"Captain's Crunch",
|
|
"Captain's log",
|
|
"Care Bear stares",
|
|
"Cat litter",
|
|
"Cat Man Do",
|
|
"Cat puke between your toes",
|
|
"Chafed nippers",
|
|
"Cheesy poofs™",
|
|
"Chewbacaa's dingleberries",
|
|
"Chicken butt",
|
|
"Chicken thigh",
|
|
"Chili dogs",
|
|
"Chocolate bar floating in a pool",
|
|
"Chunky milk",
|
|
"Clifford the Big Red Dog's™ big brown log",
|
|
"Cooked pizza rolls with a frozen center",
|
|
"Cool beans",
|
|
"Crop dusting",
|
|
"Dad's hemorroid pad",
|
|
"Dad's special microwave dinner",
|
|
"Daddy's listening skills",
|
|
"Dingle and the berries",
|
|
"Dingus",
|
|
"DJ Lance™",
|
|
"Dog farts",
|
|
"Dr. Doo Doo Brown",
|
|
"Drake and Young Jeezy sharing a milkshake",
|
|
"Duck lips",
|
|
"Dung beetle",
|
|
"Dust bunnies",
|
|
"Eating a firefly to make your teeth glow",
|
|
"Electric Avenue",
|
|
"Everything is awesome!",
|
|
"Fake lottery tickets",
|
|
"Fanny packs",
|
|
"Fart in a space suit",
|
|
"Fart in the car. Lock the windows. Turn on the heat. Enjoy.",
|
|
"Fart tennis",
|
|
"Fartknockers",
|
|
"Farts in a throw pillow",
|
|
"Fat guy in a little coat",
|
|
"Fat lady in yoga pants",
|
|
"Fat shaming",
|
|
"Feces pieces",
|
|
"Feeding baby bird style",
|
|
"Finger painting",
|
|
"Flaming bag of poop on my front porch",
|
|
"Free doodie",
|
|
"Frog farts",
|
|
"Fromunda cheese",
|
|
"Front farts",
|
|
"Front wedgies",
|
|
"Fruit boots",
|
|
"Fudgesicles",
|
|
"Full-on battle beast mode",
|
|
"Funkytown",
|
|
"Funny smell of grandma's house",
|
|
"Gallons of melted Velveeta™",
|
|
"Getting hit below the belt with a football",
|
|
"Getting ready to get ready",
|
|
"Gogurt burps",
|
|
"Grandma's jitterbug phone",
|
|
"Grouchland",
|
|
"Grumpy cats",
|
|
"Grumpy munchkins",
|
|
"Gum in the hair",
|
|
"Helping your grandparent get dressed",
|
|
"Hershey™ and the squirts",
|
|
"Hershey™ highway",
|
|
"Hillary Duff",
|
|
"Hollywood dreams",
|
|
"Honey badger",
|
|
"Hoof hearted",
|
|
"Hot Pockets™",
|
|
"Hulk smashed",
|
|
"Human beans",
|
|
"Humble brags",
|
|
"Hungry + Angry = Hangry",
|
|
"In a van down by the river",
|
|
"In your face",
|
|
"Inflatable dart boards",
|
|
"Jar of egg farts",
|
|
"Jenga™ tower made of cheese sticks",
|
|
"John Cena",
|
|
"Justin Bieber",
|
|
"Katy Perry's new boyfriend",
|
|
"Kim Kardashian's booty",
|
|
"Kindergarten cops",
|
|
"Kittens in mittens",
|
|
"Knuckle sandwiches",
|
|
"Lady Gaga",
|
|
"Lazy Sunday",
|
|
"Lebron James' size 15 shoe",
|
|
"Like a bo$$",
|
|
"Luke Skywalkers™ robot hand",
|
|
"Magic Mushrooms",
|
|
"Mandatory family time",
|
|
"Manties",
|
|
"Master splinter",
|
|
"Mayor McCheeze's™ cheese tongue",
|
|
"Meatlofa! The world's first meatloaf sofa",
|
|
"Mexican mudslide",
|
|
"Miley Cyrus",
|
|
"Mom is pregnant again",
|
|
"Mom's purple wine teeth",
|
|
"Moobs",
|
|
"Moose knuckles",
|
|
"Mouth breathers",
|
|
"Mr Weird Beard",
|
|
"Mr. Froto's ring",
|
|
"Mr. Maigi",
|
|
"Mr. Poopeedoopee",
|
|
"Mr. Richard Johnson",
|
|
"My cat's starfish",
|
|
"My cellphone after landing in the toilet",
|
|
"My Dad's back hair",
|
|
"My dog's lipstick",
|
|
"My entire high school football team",
|
|
"Mystery egg wrapped in Play-Doh™",
|
|
"Mystery hair on my donut",
|
|
"Nahrwals",
|
|
"Neck beards",
|
|
"Nick Jonas™",
|
|
"Nicki Minaj",
|
|
"Ninja bread men",
|
|
"Oompa-Loompas™",
|
|
"Optimus Prime's™ exhaust pipe",
|
|
"Pee on the seat",
|
|
"Pee pee tee pee",
|
|
"Peeing in the shower",
|
|
"Peeing my name in the snow",
|
|
"Pepperfarts",
|
|
"Pickle juice",
|
|
"Pinch a loaf",
|
|
"Pink poodles eating oodles of noodles",
|
|
"Plump pageant moms",
|
|
"Poop emoji",
|
|
"Poop spelled backwards",
|
|
"Poops Mcgee",
|
|
"Puckered starfish",
|
|
"Pull my finger",
|
|
"Purple nurples",
|
|
"R2D2™",
|
|
"Rainbow Dash™ droppings",
|
|
"Rotten eggs",
|
|
"Rubber baby buggy bumpers",
|
|
"Sad pancakes",
|
|
"Sand in the cheeks",
|
|
"Santa's big fat sack",
|
|
"Sasquatch",
|
|
"Sea biscuit",
|
|
"Secret crush announced on the school P.A.",
|
|
"Selfie fail",
|
|
"Selfie sticks",
|
|
"Sesame Street™",
|
|
"Shart tank",
|
|
"Shopkinz™",
|
|
"Sloth's Baby Ruth™",
|
|
"Smurf Village",
|
|
"Snapchatting in your sleep",
|
|
"Sneaky snakes",
|
|
"Spagooter",
|
|
"Spongebob's square poop",
|
|
"Squeeze cheese",
|
|
"Stranger danger",
|
|
"Super Mario™ fart",
|
|
"Superman's™ skid marks",
|
|
"Taco Tuesday",
|
|
"Teacher crush",
|
|
"That dream where I am at school naked",
|
|
"That kid that never stopped eating paste",
|
|
"The babysitter's™ boyfriend",
|
|
"The bully that never wears deodorant",
|
|
"The day I got a wedgie and forgot to wipe properly",
|
|
"The Gooch",
|
|
"The janitor's vomit dust",
|
|
"The kid who pooped their pants on the bus",
|
|
"The kid who wipes boogers under the desk",
|
|
"The Ol'courtesy flush",
|
|
"The rabbit hole",
|
|
"Thor's hammer time",
|
|
"Those kooky people that live downstairs",
|
|
"Throbbing zit on picture day",
|
|
"Tighty whitie underpants",
|
|
"Tipped over Port-O-Potty",
|
|
"Toilet paper",
|
|
"Triple rainbow",
|
|
"Twinkle toes",
|
|
"Underoos™",
|
|
"Underwear",
|
|
"Upside down frowns",
|
|
"Uranus - The brown planet",
|
|
"Urethra Franklin",
|
|
"Used toilet paper",
|
|
"Using poison ivy to wipe your butt",
|
|
"Wacky tobacky",
|
|
"Walt Disney's secret vault",
|
|
"Wax lips",
|
|
"Wet farts",
|
|
"Wet wipes",
|
|
"Whoflungpoo",
|
|
"Wicked step sisters",
|
|
"Wiener dogs",
|
|
"Winnie's poo",
|
|
"Wolfman's nards",
|
|
"Woopy cushions",
|
|
"Yellow snow",
|
|
"[Washing instructions graphic]",
|
|
"A hand knitted Bernie Sanders doll.",
|
|
"A knitted condom.",
|
|
"A missing stitch marker.",
|
|
"A skein of yarn knitting with a ball of people.",
|
|
"An alpaca.",
|
|
"An Ambien-induced online yarn purchase.",
|
|
"An intense game of yarn chicken.",
|
|
"Breaking up with someone to get out of holiday knitting.",
|
|
"Curing cancer with hand knit hats.",
|
|
"Cutting a steek.",
|
|
"Explaining virgin wool to a group of 12 year old boys.",
|
|
"HAND WASH ONLY!!!",
|
|
"Hiding a yak in your apartment.",
|
|
"Knitting at stoplights.",
|
|
"Knitting two left mittens.",
|
|
"Knots.",
|
|
"Procraftinating.",
|
|
"Souvenir yarn.",
|
|
"The paralyzing fear of a tiny moth.",
|
|
"Thrift store yarn.",
|
|
"Well-intentioned crocheters.",
|
|
"WIPs, HOs,and FOs.",
|
|
"Yarn diets.",
|
|
"Yarn that smells like sheep.",
|
|
"Yarn vomit.",
|
|
"50 Shades of Haze Gray.",
|
|
"A 3-hour SECRET flight brief for a 45-minute flight. #WasteMyFuckingTime",
|
|
"A bed bug-infested rack.",
|
|
"A billion different uniforms and accessories.",
|
|
"A Boatswain's punch.",
|
|
"A bucket of fishy tampons stuffed inside your rackmate's pillowcase.",
|
|
"A bunch of stupid pilots doing stupid pilot shit.",
|
|
"A canteen-spitter combo.",
|
|
"A care package filled with dog shit, Styrofoam® peanuts, and a divorce decree.",
|
|
"A cringey license plate that reads \"USN4LYF.\"",
|
|
"A CS friend hooking you up with extra meatloaf and shit.",
|
|
"A Dependapotamus vs. TRICAREatops hotdog eating sontest.",
|
|
"A destroyer performing a max AOB turn while unfurling 90-foot American flags.",
|
|
"A dildo cannon.",
|
|
"A dumb shit ensign attempting to pull rank on Chief.",
|
|
"A FOD Walkdown of Skipper's stateroom.",
|
|
"A Gay Chicken win streak.",
|
|
"A gayer, gentler Navy (if that's even possible).",
|
|
"A half month's pay times two.",
|
|
"A lieutenant yelling \"Drag me, you enlisted swine!\"",
|
|
"A Marine desperately trying to flush stolen panties down the shitters.",
|
|
"A mouth like a Sailor.",
|
|
"A Navy-wide pamphlet entitled \"Needleguns and You: Surviving Your First Command as an Undesignated Seaman.\"",
|
|
"A Nuke with an arm growing out of his head.",
|
|
"A pilot with an unequal number of takeoffs and landings.",
|
|
"A proud new member of the Liberty Attire Enforcement Team.",
|
|
"A race baiting NC1.",
|
|
"A rogue HT welding berthing hatches shut.",
|
|
"A rotting pile of Veterans corpses in the basement of a VA hospital.",
|
|
"A School relationships.",
|
|
"A SECDET member forgetting his rifle in the galley.",
|
|
"A sleazy recruiter driving an '85 panel van packed with teenage girls and several cases of Four Loko.",
|
|
"A terrorist seductively whispering \"There's a bomb somewhere on my body...want to find it, you sexy infidel?\"",
|
|
"A wave of thirst crashing down on every female Sailor.",
|
|
"Acadmey grads losing classified material.",
|
|
"Advancement results without your name on them.",
|
|
"Air DET delivering a pallet of freshly stacked ISIS corpses.",
|
|
"All conditions normal.",
|
|
"An aggressively aerobatic VERTREP that causes all assholes to simultaneously pucker.",
|
|
"An AO telling you that he kills people.",
|
|
"An elaborate advancement exam cheating ring.",
|
|
"An enormoous metal tube filled with Seamen.",
|
|
"An enraged, 300-lb dependa bellowing \"I serve too!\"",
|
|
"An ensign's cunt wife demanding to be saluted at the gate.",
|
|
"An EOD chief slinging his cock over his shoulder.",
|
|
"An EOD on SEAL on SWCC suck pile.",
|
|
"An EP Eval includes the words \"fellatio,\" \"scuttlebutt,\" and \"Space Docking.\"",
|
|
"An inspection uniform soaked in Taco Bell grease.",
|
|
"An outbreak of vaginal malaria in the female berthing spaces.",
|
|
"An SCBA mask that smells like the inside of a wet bag of horse nuts.",
|
|
"Any naval officer.",
|
|
"Armchair Admirals.",
|
|
"Assholes and Admirals.",
|
|
"at least this one is unique",
|
|
"Bahrain's \"American Alley.\"",
|
|
"Balls-to-8 watch.",
|
|
"Bar fights with Coasties.",
|
|
"BCGs.",
|
|
"Being as useful as a screen door on a submarine.",
|
|
"Being detained by the host nation for \"offending local sensibilities.\" In other words, you pulled out your hog in a restaurant.",
|
|
"Being voluntold to man the rails.",
|
|
"Believeing your recruiter when he told you SEALs would offer you a chance to switch your rate in boot camp.",
|
|
"Belt buckles with your ship's logo.",
|
|
"Berthing Fight Club.",
|
|
"BMs.",
|
|
"Boatswain's Mate pipe practice.",
|
|
"Borderline retarded ensigns.",
|
|
"Brace for shock!",
|
|
"Bravo Zulu, shipmate!",
|
|
"Bullshit flight pay for LCAC crews.",
|
|
"Butthurt Report Forms.",
|
|
"Cap'n Crunch® being hung in the town square for stolen valor.",
|
|
"Captain's Cup finals.",
|
|
"Captain's Mast for skylarking.",
|
|
"Chiefs giving mustache rides.",
|
|
"Class 3 dental!",
|
|
"Cliche Navy-themed gay jokes.",
|
|
"CMEOs Gone Wild.",
|
|
"CNO Admiral Greenert's \"happy\" sock.",
|
|
"Completely running out of fucks.",
|
|
"Contracting dick fungus from a shipmate's Japanese robotic fuck doll.",
|
|
"Contracting dick rot from the hair clippers your rackmate used on his rat nest-like pubes.",
|
|
"Counseling chits.",
|
|
"Crafting a matress in the pulper room from banana peels and freshly cut hair.",
|
|
"Cranking.",
|
|
"Crying when you receive your Navy Ball Cap after Battle Stations.",
|
|
"CTs inbreeding.",
|
|
"Dank meme wars between the official Facebook pages of the U.S. Navy and Saint Jude Children's Research Hospital.",
|
|
"Deploying mechanical sharks with laser dicks in the fight against Somali pirates.",
|
|
"Doing ass-to-ass with a .50 cal barrel and your bestest shipmate.",
|
|
"Drinking from a porpoise skull that's filled with the period blood of menstruating staff officers.",
|
|
"Dropping Bin Laden's cum-filled corpse from a helicopter at 120 knots.",
|
|
"Drown-proofing amputees.",
|
|
"Egypt's \"security\" during the Suez Transit.",
|
|
"Everyone on your crew is dead!",
|
|
"Falling overboard.",
|
|
"Fat emlisted personnel.",
|
|
"Fatal helicopter crashes.",
|
|
"Filling the new guy's rack with old shower shoes, soggy period pads, and used Q-tips.",
|
|
"Finally realizing why Sailors are called \"Swabbies.\"",
|
|
"Finding your boat boo's slappy chokey bondage vid on Pornhub.",
|
|
"Fitting all your blongings into a seabag.",
|
|
"Fleet Admiral Chester W. Nimitz.",
|
|
"Fleet and Family Support loans.",
|
|
"Fleet rolls.",
|
|
"Fleet Week fuckery.",
|
|
"Floating dead.",
|
|
"Floating in the middle of an angry sea.",
|
|
"Fraternizing with your open mouth.",
|
|
"Freedom, mother fucker! Do you speak it?!?",
|
|
"Funeral detail!",
|
|
"Getting ASMO'd back to P-Days.",
|
|
"Getting detained by Iran while wearing white socks.",
|
|
"Getting suckered into a Nuke contract.",
|
|
"Getting your mattress stamped.",
|
|
"Gleefully reminding Marines they're part of the Navy.",
|
|
"GMT.",
|
|
"Going full dependa.",
|
|
"Going LLD for a leaky booty hole.",
|
|
"Going to DRB for spreading boner crippling penis polio to the rest of the ship.",
|
|
"GQ drills at 0200.",
|
|
"Hazing for the fuck of it.",
|
|
"Health and comfort inspections.",
|
|
"Hippies trampling American freedoms.",
|
|
"Hitting your new bench press PR because the boat rocked just the right way.",
|
|
"HOOYAH!",
|
|
"Hormone therapy for incarcerated Sailors.",
|
|
"Huffing Haze Gray paint from an old Kmart® shopping bag.",
|
|
"Hurry up and wait!",
|
|
"Increasingly stringent Navy mustache regulations.",
|
|
"Intentionally jumping overboard because you're a trans-species fish man.",
|
|
"Interpreting signal flags.",
|
|
"ISIS recruiters promising bonus goats and a sweet beheading knife if you defect.",
|
|
"John Paul Jones' Crypt.",
|
|
"Joining the Navy to get mad respect, bro!",
|
|
"Knocking her up right before deployment.",
|
|
"Laughable female PRT standards.",
|
|
"Liberty-determining items.",
|
|
"Liquor locker robberies.",
|
|
"LLD chits.",
|
|
"Lone Survivor Marcus Luttrell punching an Afghan child right in its fucking face.",
|
|
"Low visibility detail.",
|
|
"Making fun of Marines.",
|
|
"Marrying the local bargoyle for the BAH and the disgusting yet reliable sex.",
|
|
"Masterful sea lawyering skills.",
|
|
"Matching anchor tattoos so the friend ship doesn't sail away.",
|
|
"Mercy killing your girlfriend's new puppy by knife handing its adorable little face to death.",
|
|
"Middle Eastern \"toilets.\"",
|
|
"Military Discount Entitlement Syndrome.",
|
|
"Mine-clearance dolphins.",
|
|
"MM advancement exams.",
|
|
"Mo fuggin' hands in yo' mo fuggin' pockets.",
|
|
"Mocking Soldiers.",
|
|
"Motorcycle training.",
|
|
"MWR concerts featuring washed up 90's musicians.",
|
|
"Naps in the safety nets.",
|
|
"Navy JAG.",
|
|
"Navy SEALs making millions by doing random shit and selling it as a \"SEAL Workout.\"",
|
|
"NEX hairstyles that could be featured in Prison Cut Magazine.",
|
|
"NJP for attending Edward Snowden's My Little Pony-themed birthday party.",
|
|
"No-shave chits.",
|
|
"Norfolk.",
|
|
"Nuclear engineers.",
|
|
"Officer Candidate School.",
|
|
"Officers enjoying tea, biscuits, and bestiality in their staterooms.",
|
|
"Operational Risk Management.",
|
|
"Passing raunchy sex notes to your boot camp boo.",
|
|
"Paying for uniforms when you make Chief.",
|
|
"Pearl Harbor fetish porn.",
|
|
"Penetration, however slight, is enough to complete the offense.",
|
|
"Petty officers.",
|
|
"Playing Call of Duty® to prepare for MA training.",
|
|
"Pollywogs.",
|
|
"Poppin' Motrin® like Skittles®.",
|
|
"Post-Navy college adventures.",
|
|
"PPE for your STD-ridden genitalia.",
|
|
"Preying that your spouse doesn't accidentally meet your boat boo at the commissary.",
|
|
"Punishment so elaborate you'd swear it was thought up by a Bond villian.",
|
|
"Receiving the coveted Blue Falcon Award for noticing the Adam's Apple but letting your bro take home the tranny anyway.",
|
|
"Recruit Heaven.",
|
|
"Referring to your rackmate as a human-shaped bag of assholes.",
|
|
"Regulations outlining female facial hair standards.",
|
|
"Reorganizing the conex. Again. For the sixth time.",
|
|
"Repeating \" I could've been a SEAL\" until you actually believe it.",
|
|
"Rescue Swimmers doing gainers out of the helicopter.",
|
|
"Rescued \"refugees\" comandeering your ship.",
|
|
"RIMPAC!",
|
|
"Roger. That. Shipmate.",
|
|
"Rollerblading across an active flight line wearing only UDT shorts and a smile.",
|
|
"Saluting Midshipmen.",
|
|
"Saluting officers' wives.",
|
|
"Sarah Palin's powdered breast milk as an MRE drink mix.",
|
|
"Screamin' Seamen!",
|
|
"Sea and anchor detail.",
|
|
"Sea Donkey slime trails on the flight deck.",
|
|
"Sea Donkeys with lop-sided, hairy tits.",
|
|
"Sea Lawyers.",
|
|
"Sea stories.",
|
|
"Sea Unicorns.",
|
|
"Sea Warriors.",
|
|
"Seabag inspections.",
|
|
"Seaman Schmuckatelli.",
|
|
"Second degree knee burns from gargling flight crew ballz.",
|
|
"Secret squirrel secrets.",
|
|
"Seeing your shaved, ladyboy ass posted on Shit My LPO Says.",
|
|
"Shark Watch for swim call.",
|
|
"Ship Store swag.",
|
|
"Ship's laundry.",
|
|
"Shipmates shipmating shipmates.",
|
|
"Shore Patrol.",
|
|
"Singing Highway to the Danger Zone in a 2003 Ford® Focus.",
|
|
"Skating the fuck home right before GQ drills.",
|
|
"Smuggling an underage teen out of the barracks before a health and comfort inspection.",
|
|
"Social justice warriors trampling and burning the American flag.",
|
|
"SQUEAL Team Sex: The Hunt for Bin Laden's Boy Pussy.",
|
|
"Standing the fuck by!",
|
|
"Striking for the newest rate: Navy Person.",
|
|
"Sub guys wearing short shorts and nipple clamps.",
|
|
"Swabbies and shipmates.",
|
|
"Sweeping the flight deck during a torrential downpour.",
|
|
"Tabasco®: a necessary evil.",
|
|
"Tattoo regulations created by limp dick staff officers.",
|
|
"That douchebag who ALWAYS steps on your rack while climbing up to theirs.",
|
|
"That fucker who tosses chemlights off the ship.",
|
|
"That nasty mother fucker who showers barefoot.",
|
|
"That one Third Class we all had in our shop.",
|
|
"That one time your boat boo got restriction right before shore liberty.",
|
|
"The abortion-at-sea that is the movie Annapolis.",
|
|
"The chiseled jawline and absurdly sculpted bisceps of Admiral Chester Nimitz.",
|
|
"The CPO Selectee Carwash.",
|
|
"The direction the Navy is headed.",
|
|
"The DoD's yearning for bottom of the barrel, dirt cheap shit.",
|
|
"The galley.",
|
|
"The gallons of semen your mattress has absorbed.",
|
|
"The gooey aftermath of a Sailor walking into a P-3's rotor arc.",
|
|
"The Great Pacific garbage patch.",
|
|
"The grunting and heavy breathing of a lonely rackmate.",
|
|
"The indoor tracks of RTC Great Lakes.",
|
|
"The M240D's cycle of operations.",
|
|
"The MCPON engaging is \"gerbil play.\"",
|
|
"The mythical Sea Pegasus.",
|
|
"The Navy Times.",
|
|
"The Navy's mentorship program.",
|
|
"The package store.",
|
|
"The pathetic lack of funds in your TSP.",
|
|
"The pinball machine in Skipper's stateroom.",
|
|
"The Pucker Factor.",
|
|
"The Quarterdeck POOW.",
|
|
"The safety stand-down from Hell!",
|
|
"The Seabees' gay construction worker-themed dance party.",
|
|
"The SECNAV's wrinkly little raisin dick.",
|
|
"The ship's movie channels.",
|
|
"The sudden realization that YOU are a fobbit!",
|
|
"The Swastika-shaped building on Naval Amphibious Base Coronado. Seriously, Google Map that shit right now!",
|
|
"The United States Navy.",
|
|
"The unmistakable smell of chloroform at your command's Christmas party.",
|
|
"The uselessness of Transition GPS.",
|
|
"The USS Neverdock.",
|
|
"Totally super hardcore Navy PRT standards.",
|
|
"Transgender Education Training.",
|
|
"Tricing someone up in their rack.",
|
|
"Urinalysis meat gazers who love to watch.",
|
|
"Using a rescue litter to restrain a drunken FNG.",
|
|
"Using a treadmill aboard a ship.",
|
|
"Using blood magic to resurrect the USS Arizona.",
|
|
"Using your DITY move to smuggle West Virginia hillbilly meth across the Canadian border.",
|
|
"Using your technical savy to melt plastic trash into dragon dildos and Golden Girls-themed fuck toys.",
|
|
"Vacation Bible School.",
|
|
"Veteran suicide awareness.",
|
|
"Vietnamese mercenaries hunting John Kerry.",
|
|
"Violating UCMJ Article 114 by dueling Jody to the death.",
|
|
"Visiting the waterpark in Dubai.",
|
|
"Waiting for the harbor pilot in any Middle Eastern port.",
|
|
"Washing Chief's coffee mug.",
|
|
"Watch.",
|
|
"Watching deployment homecoming videos for a good cry.",
|
|
"Watching Marines break shit.",
|
|
"Watching two Marines fight over the last box of crayons.",
|
|
"Well-deserved fratricide.",
|
|
"Witnessing a suicide from the Coronado Bridge.",
|
|
"Women in BUD/S.",
|
|
"Working the pole to earn money for new chemlights.",
|
|
"Working the pulper.",
|
|
"Workups.",
|
|
"Writing your name in the water using a .50 cal.",
|
|
"Ye olde times medical procedures used aboard the USS Constitution.",
|
|
"Your future ex-dependa.",
|
|
"Your significant other fucking a pilot the minute you deploy.",
|
|
"Your third NKO password attempt.",
|
|
"\"Jerk him, Tahiti!\\n\\nJerk him off\"",
|
|
"\"Partners!\\n\\nI must have Partners!\"",
|
|
"10,800 barrels of beer",
|
|
"144,000 lbs. of cheese",
|
|
"a bed, a hammock, a hearse, a sentry box, a pulpit, a coach, or any other of those small and snug contrivances in which men temporarily isolate themselves",
|
|
"a bird's nest in its crotch",
|
|
"a black!\\nand crazy!",
|
|
"a bloody battle in Affghanistan",
|
|
"a bosom friend",
|
|
"a butchering sort of business",
|
|
"a butterless man",
|
|
"a cast pulpy mass",
|
|
"a certain nameless terror",
|
|
"a certain unsignifying pettiness",
|
|
"a clean breast",
|
|
"a cozy, loving pair",
|
|
"a creamy pool",
|
|
"a curious spout",
|
|
"a dark complexioned chap",
|
|
"a dark, purplish, yellow color",
|
|
"a dinnerless student",
|
|
"a drunken Christian",
|
|
"a faint stream of perfume, which flowed through the tide of bad smells without being absorbed by it",
|
|
"a frightful roll and vomit",
|
|
"a funny,\\nsporty,\\ngamy,\\njesty,\\njoky,\\nhoky-poky lad",
|
|
"a gigantic coal-black negro-savage",
|
|
"a glistening white membrane",
|
|
"a gush of scalding vapor",
|
|
"a heart-stricken moose",
|
|
"a hideous and intolerable allegory",
|
|
"a hooroosh",
|
|
"a horrible oily gurgling",
|
|
"a huge dropping stalk",
|
|
"a huge sulk and pout",
|
|
"a humbug, trying to be a bugbear",
|
|
"a jig or two before we ride to anchor in Blanket Bay",
|
|
"a low sucking sound",
|
|
"a meat-pie nearly one hundred feet long",
|
|
"a medal from the Humane and Magnanimous Societies",
|
|
"a mob of young collegians",
|
|
"a modern Kentuckian in his socks",
|
|
"a nameless yeast",
|
|
"a pantalon leg",
|
|
"a peculiar and not very pleasant smell",
|
|
"a peculiar sort of huge mole",
|
|
"a pedestrian trip to Rockaway Beach",
|
|
"a poser, sir",
|
|
"a prodigiously hearty breakfast of chowders of all sorts",
|
|
"a purse!",
|
|
"a queer man",
|
|
"a raving lunatic",
|
|
"a riotous lad at Yale or Harvard",
|
|
"a sad pickleand peril",
|
|
"a shaken jelly",
|
|
"a ship-load of precious sperm",
|
|
"a sign, with--\"no suicides permitted here\"",
|
|
"a solid pyramid of fat",
|
|
"a sort of animal balloon",
|
|
"A sort of badger-haired old merman",
|
|
"a sort of disinfecting agent",
|
|
"a sort of prodigious dyspepsia",
|
|
"a sort of whisker, or rather a moustache",
|
|
"a squeeze of the hand",
|
|
"a strange analogy to something in yourself",
|
|
"a strange sort of insanity",
|
|
"a strict total abstinence man",
|
|
"a sudden sharp poke in the rear",
|
|
"a supernatural hand",
|
|
"A surplus supply of drink",
|
|
"a tall straight jet of misty spray",
|
|
"a temporary erection",
|
|
"a terrific, loud, animal sob",
|
|
"a thick curled bush of white mist",
|
|
"a thousand thighs",
|
|
"a three days' old Congo baby",
|
|
"a very strange, enigmatical onject",
|
|
"a very superstitious feeling about seals",
|
|
"a whitewashed negro",
|
|
"about a quarter of an acre of fine brains",
|
|
"about five hundred gallons of sperm",
|
|
"aimlessly swimming hither and thither",
|
|
"all manner of spouts",
|
|
"all the men, women, and children who were alive seventy-five years ago",
|
|
"all visible objects, man",
|
|
"all your horribles!",
|
|
"allowing a pig to run at large",
|
|
"an admirable sauce to be eaten with barbacued porpoises",
|
|
"an arm thrust forth from the grass over a grave",
|
|
"an eruption of bears",
|
|
"an eternally progressive progeny of griefs",
|
|
"an everlasting itch",
|
|
"an example of superhuman activity",
|
|
"an ice palace made of frozen sighs",
|
|
"an ineffably oozy, stringy affair",
|
|
"an inflated bag of wind",
|
|
"an insignificant bit of black wood",
|
|
"an old worn-out coffee-mill",
|
|
"an old writer-- of whose works I possess the only copy extant",
|
|
"an unappropriated corpse",
|
|
"an undergraduate",
|
|
"an undigested apple-dumpling",
|
|
"an unspeakable, wild, Hindoo odor",
|
|
"anonymous babies",
|
|
"any intercourse but colonial",
|
|
"anything looking like men",
|
|
"apparent effeminacy",
|
|
"Asiatic communities",
|
|
"baby man",
|
|
"bashful bears",
|
|
"beefsteaks, done rare",
|
|
"being so very unusual",
|
|
"being generally very large",
|
|
"being paid",
|
|
"being surpassingly excellent",
|
|
"better jokes, and brighter repartees",
|
|
"Bible leaves!\\nBible leaves!",
|
|
"big generous hands",
|
|
"bosky beards",
|
|
"braiding something very carefully",
|
|
"cannibal old me",
|
|
"carefully churning and churning",
|
|
"cash--aye, cash",
|
|
"certain strange signs and inuendos",
|
|
"composing a little treatise",
|
|
"consuming 4,000,000 of dollars",
|
|
"copying the ducks",
|
|
"creamy foam, all spangled with golden gleamings",
|
|
"crisp, shrivelled blubber",
|
|
"crystal goblets of Persian sherbet",
|
|
"dairy-rooms, butteries, and cheeseries",
|
|
"Darmonodes' elephant that so frequented the flower-market, and with low salutations presented nosegays to damsels, and then caressed their zones",
|
|
"deep helpless sadness",
|
|
"deformities floundering in seas of blood and blue paint",
|
|
"dentistical-looking implements",
|
|
"depicting the incarnation of Vishnu",
|
|
"diabolical incoherences",
|
|
"dis old brack man",
|
|
"disobeying ourselves",
|
|
"diving, and ducking, and screaming, and yelling",
|
|
"Don't ye love sperm?",
|
|
"drowned dreams, somnambulisms, reveries",
|
|
"dumplings for supper!",
|
|
"eating Amsterdam butter",
|
|
"eight or ten lazy fellows",
|
|
"elastic stuff",
|
|
"enormous drums",
|
|
"enormous growth",
|
|
"eternal delight and deliciousness",
|
|
"eternal war since the world began",
|
|
"fully ripe grapes",
|
|
"George Washington cannibalistically developed",
|
|
"great lips",
|
|
"ground-tier butts",
|
|
"having no place to sit",
|
|
"hermaphroditical Italian pictures",
|
|
"his bridegroom clasp",
|
|
"his massive forefinger",
|
|
"his pale loaf-of-bread face",
|
|
"his unsullied jet",
|
|
"his verdant jet",
|
|
"hogshead of sperm",
|
|
"holy nakedness of our dancing girls!",
|
|
"huge pronged poles",
|
|
"hugging a fellow male",
|
|
"idiot face",
|
|
"infernal orgies",
|
|
"innumerable long arms",
|
|
"intellectual and spiritual exasperations",
|
|
"intolerably vivid dreams",
|
|
"jolly punches in the side",
|
|
"lithe snaky limbs",
|
|
"load and incessant expostulations",
|
|
"long rows of dead quadrupeds",
|
|
"lord of the level loadstone",
|
|
"lording it as a country schoolmaster",
|
|
"lumps",
|
|
"making a strange, grassy, cutting sound",
|
|
"making legs",
|
|
"making the tallest boys stand in awe of you",
|
|
"man-haters",
|
|
"methodically knocking people's hats off",
|
|
"milk and sperm",
|
|
"mine eye-balls",
|
|
"mine own electric thing",
|
|
"Mordecai, the broker",
|
|
"Mr. Humpback",
|
|
"my arms and my legs",
|
|
"my back parts, my tail",
|
|
"my juicy little pear at home",
|
|
"my whole eaten brain",
|
|
"my Yale College and my Harvard",
|
|
"naked Nantucketers",
|
|
"nine hundred and sixty cigars",
|
|
"no bowels",
|
|
"no famous author",
|
|
"nothing that can properly be called a neck",
|
|
"nut-crackers and what not",
|
|
"old rigadig tunes",
|
|
"one dextrous fling",
|
|
"one half-throttled shriek",
|
|
"one white tooth",
|
|
"orphans whose unwedded mothers die in bearing with them",
|
|
"panting and snorting",
|
|
"perilous contortions",
|
|
"pervading mediocrity",
|
|
"pure tight skin",
|
|
"purporting to be sober",
|
|
"putting your hand into the tar-pot",
|
|
"Quakers with a vengeance",
|
|
"random inquiries",
|
|
"rapidly shoving it straight out",
|
|
"rearing and plunging",
|
|
"red-cheeked dancing girls",
|
|
"rejecting Heaven's good gifts",
|
|
"rich mottled old cheese",
|
|
"rig it,\\ndig it,\\nstig it,\\nquig it",
|
|
"ripe, bursting grapes",
|
|
"roly-poly old coach-horses",
|
|
"rubbing their flanks",
|
|
"Science!",
|
|
"secret intelligence from the Diety",
|
|
"seeking honey in the crotch of a hollow tree",
|
|
"seemingly purposeless questions",
|
|
"sellin' human heads",
|
|
"semi-intelligent faces",
|
|
"several fatalities",
|
|
"sharing a pipe and a blanket with a real friend",
|
|
"sharing harpooner's blanket",
|
|
"shark-bone ear-rings",
|
|
"sitting down for a while and resting",
|
|
"slappin' and bitin'",
|
|
"slowly rubbing the gold piece",
|
|
"smal but valuable sperm",
|
|
"small erections",
|
|
"so many Alexanders",
|
|
"soft, gentle globules",
|
|
"some boobies and bumpkins",
|
|
"some horizontal goal",
|
|
"some interior compunctions against suicide",
|
|
"some invisible pencil",
|
|
"some murderous, convivial indiscretions",
|
|
"some old hunks",
|
|
"some remarkable documents that may be consulted",
|
|
"somebody's arm, leg, or entire body",
|
|
"something in this slippery world that can hold, man",
|
|
"something queer",
|
|
"spermy heaps",
|
|
"squeeze!\\nsqueeze!\\nsqueeze!",
|
|
"squeezing that sperm forever",
|
|
"standing sideways",
|
|
"strips of blubber for infants",
|
|
"stuff for a good joke",
|
|
"substantial, symmetrically globular, and indestructable dumplings",
|
|
"such an excellent listener!",
|
|
"sucking his own paws",
|
|
"swearing occasionally, by way of assuaging the general friction",
|
|
"tanning a white man into a purplish yellow one",
|
|
"that fine old Dutch savage, Albert Durer",
|
|
"that great America on the other side of the sphere, Australia",
|
|
"that inexpressible sperm",
|
|
"that unaccountable cone",
|
|
"that wondrous Venetian blind",
|
|
"the \"scarf\"",
|
|
"the Albino man",
|
|
"the archangel Gabriel",
|
|
"the axis of the cheese",
|
|
"the benevolent biscuit",
|
|
"the best cruising grounds",
|
|
"the best hemp",
|
|
"the breaking-up of the icebound stream of Time",
|
|
"the butterfly cheeks of young girls",
|
|
"the chica!\\nthe chica!",
|
|
"the Chinese Society for the Suppression of Meddling with other People's Business",
|
|
"the contracted hole",
|
|
"the endlessness, yea, the intolerableness of all earthly effort",
|
|
"the enormous superincumbent mass of the junk and sperm",
|
|
"the error-abounding log",
|
|
"the fragrant sperm",
|
|
"the ghastliness of others",
|
|
"the girls in Booble Alley",
|
|
"the gold cup of sperm oil",
|
|
"the grandissimus",
|
|
"the great annual sheep-shearing",
|
|
"the great canal of Hang-Ho, or whatever they call it, in China",
|
|
"the great Kentucky Mammoth Cave of his stomach",
|
|
"the great measure of grog",
|
|
"the great New England moose",
|
|
"the Highland costume-- a shirt and socks",
|
|
"the human race itself",
|
|
"the inglorious bowels of a sick whale",
|
|
"the invisible police officer",
|
|
"the iron part of a hoe",
|
|
"the last of the Grisly Bears",
|
|
"the liberal professions",
|
|
"the long thumb dream",
|
|
"the loss of the extremities of both feet",
|
|
"the measureless self-deception of the fanatic",
|
|
"the milk of queens",
|
|
"the minutest seminal germs",
|
|
"the Persian host who murdered his own guests",
|
|
"the problem of the universe",
|
|
"the professor of musical glasses",
|
|
"the remotest secret drawers and lockers of the world",
|
|
"the seven hundred and seventy-seventh lay",
|
|
"the sharks! the sharks!",
|
|
"the smell of spring violets",
|
|
"the Society for the Suppression of Cruelty to Ganders",
|
|
"the solaces and endearments of the harem",
|
|
"the solitary jet",
|
|
"the spermaceti magazine",
|
|
"the subterranean miner that works in us all",
|
|
"the Tattoo Land",
|
|
"the tepid tears of orphans",
|
|
"the three soaked biscuits ye ate for supper",
|
|
"the touch-hole",
|
|
"the triumphant halloo of thirty buckskin lungs",
|
|
"the two most important organs, the eye and the ear",
|
|
"the ugliest abortion",
|
|
"the undeniable dark side of mankind",
|
|
"the ungraspable phantom of life",
|
|
"the universal problem of all things",
|
|
"the universal thump",
|
|
"the unread, unsophisticated Protestant of the Middle American States",
|
|
"the unspeakable foundations, ribs, and very pelvis of the world",
|
|
"the very whitest and daintiest of fragrant spermaceti",
|
|
"the white curdling cream",
|
|
"the white waiter who waits upon cannibals",
|
|
"their erected ears",
|
|
"There she blows!",
|
|
"this brain-truck of mine",
|
|
"this so-called dragon",
|
|
"this strange mixed affair we call life",
|
|
"thou crazy loon",
|
|
"thousands upon thousands of mortal men",
|
|
"three hundred and sicty-five Fourth of Julys and New Year's Days",
|
|
"three Long Island negroes",
|
|
"tiny mosses",
|
|
"toilette motions",
|
|
"tons of tumultuous white curds",
|
|
"touching Slave-ships",
|
|
"trying to crawl up the chimney",
|
|
"tubs of sperm",
|
|
"two harpoons reposing in the crotch",
|
|
"two plump, whitish lobes",
|
|
"two teats, curiously situated, one on each side of the anus",
|
|
"unconditional and utter rejection",
|
|
"unearthly tattooings",
|
|
"unicornism",
|
|
"unintermitted strainings",
|
|
"unnatural gases",
|
|
"unnecessary excitements",
|
|
"unusual yellowish incrustations",
|
|
"unwittingly squeezing my co-laborers' hands",
|
|
"Vesuvius' crater",
|
|
"vigorously puffing tobacco-smoke",
|
|
"visible wood",
|
|
"warm nostrils",
|
|
"whale-balls for breakfast",
|
|
"what there may be of a narrative in this book",
|
|
"whiteness",
|
|
"without doubt, the largest inhabitant of the globe",
|
|
"wolfish gurglings",
|
|
"young vigirous males",
|
|
"[banana condom]",
|
|
"[Jesus playing beer pong]",
|
|
"[tentacles toilet]",
|
|
"[The state-of-the-art Orgasmatron 8000]",
|
|
"1 weird trick that will make everyone around you ejaculate",
|
|
"200 lusty seamen on shore for just one night",
|
|
"69ing at the bottom of a Burger King ball pit",
|
|
"a bad boy who needs a good spanking",
|
|
"a bad boy who peed all over the house",
|
|
"a bag full of cats",
|
|
"a blowjob so powerful that you black out from low oxygen in your brain",
|
|
"a blumpkin",
|
|
"a brain aneurysm",
|
|
"a bucket of 5-alarm ghost pepper hot wings",
|
|
"a bucket of puke and sweat",
|
|
"a cackling maniac on a unicycle",
|
|
"a centipede that crawls into your ear and eats your brain",
|
|
"a charismatic cult leader",
|
|
"a couple o' meatballs and some sausage",
|
|
"a couple of horny paleontologists",
|
|
"a creepy clown standing in a cemetary",
|
|
"a dick with no balls",
|
|
"a dirty sanchez",
|
|
"a face full of period blood",
|
|
"a fat blunt and a Taco Bell Baja Blast™",
|
|
"a fat sweaty southerner in a white suit",
|
|
"a firehose bidet",
|
|
"a firm but gentle colonoscopy",
|
|
"a fistful of Ecstasy",
|
|
"a footjob",
|
|
"a fractured dick",
|
|
"a fresh kilo of cocaine flown in from Colombia",
|
|
"a gently-used butt-plug",
|
|
"a gigantic pair of leopard print granny panties",
|
|
"a glory hole cut through an American flag",
|
|
"A GREAT BIG BOWL OF FUCKADOODLES",
|
|
"a group of giggling teenage girls",
|
|
"a group of old white women eating Cobb salad",
|
|
"a Gryffindor in the streets and a Slytherin in the sheets",
|
|
"a harmless tupperware container in the fridge full of OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT",
|
|
"a high school production of Rent",
|
|
"a hot night in clit city",
|
|
"a joint rolled from the pages of The Constitution",
|
|
"a mermaid with a human vagina",
|
|
"a mixture of cocaine and the ashes of your father",
|
|
"a mouthful of balls",
|
|
"a noteworthy bowel movement",
|
|
"a penis accidentally going in the wrong hole",
|
|
"a penis retreating like a turtle into its shell",
|
|
"a penis with the strength of a bulldozer, the length of a cruise missile, and juuuuuust the right girth",
|
|
"a pile of rotting dead kittens",
|
|
"a pillow full of bees",
|
|
"A pretty little pink butthole",
|
|
"a professional sandwich artist at Subway",
|
|
"a reach-around in the dark",
|
|
"a rusty trombone",
|
|
"a scalpel, a pair of forceps, and a bottle of chloroform",
|
|
"a severed head on a train platform",
|
|
"a Sex Ed textbook made from stapled-together Pornhub printouts",
|
|
"a shit-smeared g-string",
|
|
"a simple farm boy from Indiana",
|
|
"a slew of meaningless one-night stands",
|
|
"a slightly used tampon",
|
|
"a steak and a blowjob",
|
|
"a steam-powered dildo",
|
|
"a tangle of limbs and genitalia",
|
|
"a thick, floppy wiener hanging between the eyes of a magical horse",
|
|
"a think, beautiful meatball sandwich",
|
|
"a tramp stamp that says \"Daddy's Little Girl\"",
|
|
"a truck stop bathroom",
|
|
"a tumor with teeth and hair",
|
|
"a urinary tract infection",
|
|
"a vampire making tea with a used tampon",
|
|
"a vast government conspiracy",
|
|
"a vial of blood",
|
|
"a vibrating fuckable silicone butt",
|
|
"a vow of celibacy",
|
|
"a warm, calming shit",
|
|
"a wet baby and a pile of shit on a birthing table",
|
|
"a whale spreading its labia and enveloping a submarine",
|
|
"a whale's vagina",
|
|
"a yoga instructor's ass",
|
|
"Adolf Hitler",
|
|
"African Killer Bees",
|
|
"ALL the drugs!",
|
|
"all the pee in the ocean",
|
|
"all the porn on the internet",
|
|
"all those dogs from the Sarah Mclachlan commercials",
|
|
"an A+ finger banger",
|
|
"an accidental orgy",
|
|
"an all-you-can-eat pussy buffet",
|
|
"an ass that smells like ass",
|
|
"an earthquake that jiggles boobs just a little",
|
|
"an instruction manual on how to locate the clitoris",
|
|
"an itchy asshole",
|
|
"anal foreplay",
|
|
"anal leakage",
|
|
"anal sex with a dude who has a severe bowel disorder",
|
|
"ancient porn",
|
|
"Appalachian swamp cannibals",
|
|
"Area 69.",
|
|
"asking for a blowjob",
|
|
"ASSHOLES",
|
|
"auto-erotic asphyxiation",
|
|
"awkwardly mumbling \"Want to sit on my face?\"",
|
|
"back-alley abortions",
|
|
"Barack Obama's left nut",
|
|
"Barack Obama's right nut",
|
|
"barren women",
|
|
"BDSM",
|
|
"bed bugs",
|
|
"big butts",
|
|
"binge drinking at the local IHOP",
|
|
"bloody discharge",
|
|
"blowjob contests",
|
|
"bondage",
|
|
"boner pills",
|
|
"both kinds of ass play",
|
|
"bring-your-gun-to-work day",
|
|
"broken promises",
|
|
"butt mustard",
|
|
"buttering up your butthole and inserting a full ear of corn",
|
|
"buying baby parts on the black market",
|
|
"buying beer for underage kids",
|
|
"calling out the wrong name in bed",
|
|
"certain death",
|
|
"childhood obesity",
|
|
"children of divorce",
|
|
"Chipotle diarrhea",
|
|
"chlamydia of the throat",
|
|
"chocolate and Midol",
|
|
"climate change",
|
|
"cockblocking",
|
|
"constant government surveillance",
|
|
"converting your spare bedroom into a crack den",
|
|
"cooking bacon on the hot barrel of a recently-fired assault rifle",
|
|
"couples' therapy",
|
|
"Creationism",
|
|
"cute baby otters",
|
|
"dark matter",
|
|
"defecating into your own hands and then slow-clapping your way out of the room",
|
|
"delicious pineapple-flavored Hawaiian semen",
|
|
"Diet Cocaine™",
|
|
"discarded foreskins",
|
|
"doing lines of coke off of the baby-changing station in a Waffle House bathroom",
|
|
"Donkey Kong's long strong dong",
|
|
"doodling cocks in a hotel bible",
|
|
"downing a glass of bourbon with breakfast",
|
|
"drug-resistant bacteria",
|
|
"dry-humoing a cactus",
|
|
"easing yourself gently into a tub of mac and cheese and letting it full up all of your holes",
|
|
"eating a plateful of brownies and then...WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE THE WALLS MOVING",
|
|
"eating five cheeseburgers and sewing your ass shut",
|
|
"eating pussy for breakfast, lunch and dinner",
|
|
"ejaculating on your partner's face, letting it dry, and then peeling it off in one piece",
|
|
"erotic drawings of Marge Simpson",
|
|
"ethical porn",
|
|
"every form of hepatitis",
|
|
"explosive diarrhea",
|
|
"failing a personality test",
|
|
"farting in the car",
|
|
"fat Amercians",
|
|
"fatally crushing a box of white doves",
|
|
"filling the office water cooler with goat's blood",
|
|
"finally, like, REALLY understanding what Pink Floyd was all about",
|
|
"finding Nemo, the pan-frying him",
|
|
"fingering an electrical outlet",
|
|
"fingering Kanye's asshole",
|
|
"FIRE TORNADOS!",
|
|
"Fox News",
|
|
"fuck me shoes",
|
|
"fucking a McChicken™ sandwich",
|
|
"fucking a missionary",
|
|
"fucking for hours and never cumming",
|
|
"fucking on top of the washing machine",
|
|
"furries and planties",
|
|
"getting a fisted by The Incredible Hulk",
|
|
"getting cunnilingus from a cunning linguist",
|
|
"getting fired from McDonald's, coming home, feeding the cats, taking your pants off, Googling \"porn\", and clicking \"I'm feeling lucky\"",
|
|
"getting freaky with the vacuum cleaner hose attachment",
|
|
"getting into a fist fight at a Chuck E. Cheese's",
|
|
"getting it from behind",
|
|
"getting lucky on Planet Fucky",
|
|
"getting your ass blasted",
|
|
"giving road head to your Uber driver",
|
|
"giving up on your dreams",
|
|
"giving up your virginity for Lent",
|
|
"grandma's secret meth recipe",
|
|
"greased-up wrestlers in skin-tight shorts",
|
|
"greasing the floor in an old folks' home and yelling \"FIRE!\"",
|
|
"guilt-free sodomy",
|
|
"hairy balls",
|
|
"handfuls of Klonopin",
|
|
"harvesting babies",
|
|
"Helen Keller",
|
|
"hemorrhoids the size of asteroids",
|
|
"hiding under the bed while your parents have sex",
|
|
"homeless men jerking off in public",
|
|
"hooking up with your drug dealer",
|
|
"horny band geeks",
|
|
"human trafficking",
|
|
"internet trolls",
|
|
"Irritable Bowel Syndrome",
|
|
"Jeff!!!!!!!!!!",
|
|
"Jehovah's Witnesses",
|
|
"Jewish mothers",
|
|
"killing the witnesses",
|
|
"killing your husband for the insurance money",
|
|
"Kim Jong Un",
|
|
"kissing your sister",
|
|
"Krug, the destroyer of worlds and wielder of the Eternal Sword!",
|
|
"legless beggars",
|
|
"licking the hot barrel of a pistol",
|
|
"little blue pill beta bitches",
|
|
"lubing up a row of consenting buttholes and going straight to Fuck Town",
|
|
"Luke Skywalker",
|
|
"magic mushrooms",
|
|
"Magnum™ condoms",
|
|
"making eye contact with the cat during sex",
|
|
"male birth control",
|
|
"mall cops",
|
|
"mammary glands",
|
|
"man boobs",
|
|
"mansplaining how a vagina works",
|
|
"masturbating in front of millions of people",
|
|
"medical marijuana",
|
|
"meeting a nice Jewish boy with a good career and future",
|
|
"menstraul cramps",
|
|
"meth teeth",
|
|
"methamphetamines",
|
|
"Mike Hunt",
|
|
"mom butt",
|
|
"my low sperm count",
|
|
"Neil deGrasse Tyson",
|
|
"nipple clamps",
|
|
"nipple play",
|
|
"nuclear mutants",
|
|
"occasional pig fucker, Kermit the Frog",
|
|
"ol' One-Eyed Jasper and his jug o' moonshine",
|
|
"old folks going at it in a Denny's bathroom",
|
|
"old men in loose, saggy Speedos",
|
|
"Osama Bin Laden",
|
|
"our primal instinct to reproduce",
|
|
"over the pants hand jobs",
|
|
"pale white butt cheeks",
|
|
"peanut butter covered penises",
|
|
"peeing into the pool",
|
|
"people who say \"expresso\"",
|
|
"permanent clown face",
|
|
"Planned Parenthood",
|
|
"playing \"who's in my mouth?\"",
|
|
"poisoning the town's water supply",
|
|
"polio legs",
|
|
"poop fallling out of your butt uncontrollably",
|
|
"pooping while sexting",
|
|
"pouring a bucket of LSD in the community pool",
|
|
"pregnant strippers",
|
|
"premarital sex",
|
|
"pretending not to notice as your roommate has sex on the bottom bunk",
|
|
"pretending to be a girl on the internet",
|
|
"projectile childbirth",
|
|
"pubic hair in your frozen yogurt",
|
|
"pulling open someone's mouth and barfing down their throat",
|
|
"punching a Nazi",
|
|
"puppy farts",
|
|
"pussy hats",
|
|
"pussy withdrawal",
|
|
"putting a beeper up your ass and asking people to page you",
|
|
"putting lipstik on your asshole",
|
|
"racist gibberish",
|
|
"rectal thermometers",
|
|
"reverse racism",
|
|
"riding your horse into a courthouse and commanding it to shit on the judge",
|
|
"robbing a sperm bank",
|
|
"rubbing your dick between your hands until it starts a small fire",
|
|
"rural Nebraskan strippers",
|
|
"Russian mail order brides",
|
|
"rusty nails",
|
|
"satanic rituals",
|
|
"sawing open your abdomen and pulling a baby out",
|
|
"saying \"fuck it\" and dropping a roofie in your own drink",
|
|
"scraping cum out of your hair",
|
|
"several different guys' dried cum stains on your My Little Pony sheets",
|
|
"sex smell",
|
|
"sexual inadequacy",
|
|
"sexually-frustrated teenagers",
|
|
"Shark Week",
|
|
"Sharknado",
|
|
"sharting",
|
|
"shitting in someone else's mouth",
|
|
"shitting your brains out on a squat toilet",
|
|
"shitting yourself at a Pizza Hut Buffet™",
|
|
"shoving bacon in your pussy to get him to eat you out",
|
|
"sitting all the way down on a traffic cone",
|
|
"six-week-old tampon stank",
|
|
"slapping your tits like an angry orangutan",
|
|
"sleeping with your improv teacher",
|
|
"sliding your tongue through the round hole of a doughnut",
|
|
"slowly brushing your hair while whispering \"pretty girl\" in a mirror",
|
|
"slut-shaming",
|
|
"small wieners",
|
|
"smokin' grass and eatin' ass",
|
|
"smoking two joints in the morning",
|
|
"sneezing into a shitload of blow",
|
|
"snorting coke through a crisp $100 bill",
|
|
"Socialist Liberal Hippie Tree-Hugger Democrats",
|
|
"strangers with candy",
|
|
"stupid fucking rednecks",
|
|
"sucking your own dick",
|
|
"swallowing a tapeworm",
|
|
"sweet, delicious placenta",
|
|
"swollen breasts",
|
|
"Taco Tuesday, bitches!",
|
|
"taking Liam Neeson's daughter and demanding a large ransom",
|
|
"talking about Fight Club",
|
|
"tax evasion",
|
|
"teen dads",
|
|
"ten-foot-tall radioactive rats",
|
|
"that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex",
|
|
"that sweet moment of ecstasy before you reach orgasm",
|
|
"the \"fun\" person at the office",
|
|
"the 1%",
|
|
"The Adventures of Shits-His-Pants Boy",
|
|
"The Alabama Hot Pocket: shitting inside her vagina nad then squishing your dick in there",
|
|
"the buttcrack of an elderly man bending over to harvest his radishes",
|
|
"the cold hands of your gynecologist",
|
|
"the crumbling remains of Detroit",
|
|
"the cure for cancer",
|
|
"the dark web",
|
|
"the elusive clitoris",
|
|
"the entire population of Boise, Idaho",
|
|
"the fact that I'm going to haunt the shit out of you",
|
|
"the fourth dimension",
|
|
"the fucked-up fish at the bottom of the ocean",
|
|
"the government's secret stockpile of confiscated marijuana",
|
|
"the guy who got fat after high school",
|
|
"the hopes and dreams of little boys",
|
|
"the horny hairy hormone monster",
|
|
"the last two polar bears trapped on two separate icebergs",
|
|
"the man in my basement",
|
|
"The Mayor of Fuck City",
|
|
"the McRib",
|
|
"the Mormom church",
|
|
"the original MILF: Mother Earth",
|
|
"the Penis Game",
|
|
"the race card",
|
|
"The Red Herring: convincing a guy you don't have your period but then you DO!",
|
|
"the right amount of acid",
|
|
"the second cumming",
|
|
"the serial killers on Tinder",
|
|
"the smell of wine and cheap perfume",
|
|
"the taste of your own cum",
|
|
"the thrill of getting fingered",
|
|
"The Tickle King",
|
|
"the WNBA",
|
|
"the word \"moist\"",
|
|
"thousands of sweaty nerds in a convention hall",
|
|
"three buttholes",
|
|
"toilet wine",
|
|
"tongue pounding the shit out of dat ass",
|
|
"touchin' butts and lickin' nuts",
|
|
"Toxic Shock Syndrome",
|
|
"tragic teleportation accidents",
|
|
"trustworthy pastors engaging in consensual group sex",
|
|
"tub births",
|
|
"two in the pink, one in the stink",
|
|
"two men jerking each other off while maintaining contact",
|
|
"uncircumsized penises",
|
|
"unexpected decapitation",
|
|
"ungodly science",
|
|
"unrequited love",
|
|
"using a Snickers bar as a dildo",
|
|
"using bacon grease as lube",
|
|
"viscous yellowish ejaculate",
|
|
"vodka-soaked tampons",
|
|
"Voldemort",
|
|
"waking up in your mother's body",
|
|
"Walmart sushi",
|
|
"waving your dick in the wind",
|
|
"wearing white shorts on the day of your first period",
|
|
"whiskey dick",
|
|
"white guilt",
|
|
"world-class international orgies at the Olympic Village",
|
|
"writing BOOBIES with your calculator",
|
|
"Yoda's little green wiener",
|
|
"your dad's browser history",
|
|
"your evil twin",
|
|
"your fragile fucking feelings",
|
|
"your old cum socks from the 90s",
|
|
"your sweet little candy-ass",
|
|
"Zeus's butthole",
|
|
"[Chewbacca Noise].",
|
|
"/Piss Christ/.",
|
|
"8=======D",
|
|
"A cemetrery for only gay pets.",
|
|
"A Fleshlight® full of used needles.",
|
|
"A home DNA paternity test.",
|
|
"A Kenyan who wins a marathon without training.",
|
|
"A room that smells like Fabreeze® and semen... but mostly semen.",
|
|
"A Seth MacFarlane gag lasting for 17 minutes.",
|
|
"A sexually aroused dyslexic who spreads peanut butter on his dog's balls.",
|
|
"Abstinence-only education.",
|
|
"Accidentally sexting my mom.",
|
|
"Alarmist headlines about Hilary Clinton on the /Drudge Report/.",
|
|
"An anniversary gift from the 9/11 Museum Gift Shop.",
|
|
"Ann Coulter's far right-leaning dildo.",
|
|
"Arriving at the gangbang 15 minutes late, yet somehow still coming too early.",
|
|
"Asian pirate ships with predictably short planks.",
|
|
"Baconnaise®: the Bacon-Flavored Mayonnaise.",
|
|
"Bass to mouth.",
|
|
"Beef curtains.",
|
|
"Being able to tell, with absolute certainty, the actual size of any penis just by sitting on it.",
|
|
"Being physically unable to stop sucking dicks.",
|
|
"Being required by federal law to introduce yourself to your neighbors.",
|
|
"Benghazi: 9/11, Part II.",
|
|
"Blowing the cat.",
|
|
"Blowing up buildings to prove a point and go to Heaven for the single worst orgy of all time.",
|
|
"Blue Waffle.",
|
|
"Chairman Meow, the People's Cat.",
|
|
"Cheese in a spray can.",
|
|
"CuntFucker9000®--for all 9000 of your cunt fucking needs.",
|
|
"Cutting off your genitalia and mailing it to your celebrity crush.",
|
|
"Dear Leader, Slim Dong-Un.",
|
|
"Digging up Heath Ledger and playing with his dick.",
|
|
"Disregarding females and acquiring currency.",
|
|
"Dressing up in a leather Boy Scout uniform.",
|
|
"Ending women's suffrage because they've been through enough.",
|
|
"Explaining to your date why her pasta tastes like Rohypnol.",
|
|
"Fair Trade goods without the fairness.",
|
|
"Filipinos, or as I like to call them, Sea-Mexicans.",
|
|
"Fisting the dog.",
|
|
"Getting fired from the fertility clinic for biting a lemon, licking some salt, lining up ten cups of semen and downing them all like a fucking champ.",
|
|
"Getting your dick caught in someone else's zipper.",
|
|
"Giving Hotel Rwanda a 1-star review on TripAdvisor®.",
|
|
"Giving it to Nanking because, in your opinion, it was totally asking for it.",
|
|
"Having to transfer to a different diocese because, apparently, filling the youth group with \"the holy spirit\" isn't something that is up for interpretation.",
|
|
"Inappropriate eye contact in a threesome.",
|
|
"Invasive advertising.",
|
|
"Jackin' it in San Diego.",
|
|
"Jerking off to Coldplay.",
|
|
"Jerking off to the \"before\" picture in weight-loss commericals.",
|
|
"Jizz-flavored coffee.",
|
|
"Lasers and shit.",
|
|
"Learning Klingon instead of going to parties and getting laid.",
|
|
"Leaving this game to get a cheeseburger because this is AMERICA, GODDAMMIT.",
|
|
"Literally eating a dick.",
|
|
"Lying repeatedly to people with Alzheimer's for profit.",
|
|
"Magneto's \"other\" purple helmet.",
|
|
"Malaysian Airlines flight 370.",
|
|
"Mandatory gay marriage.",
|
|
"Mentos® and cocaine.",
|
|
"MRSA: the gift that keeps on giving.",
|
|
"Oedipus: the first motherfucker.",
|
|
"Premature ejacul.",
|
|
"Presenting at the shareholder meeting in blackface.",
|
|
"Putting my dick through the /Mona Lisa/.",
|
|
"Queef Erikson.",
|
|
"Reverse gentrification.",
|
|
"Running into your parents at a swingers' club.",
|
|
"Shamelessly being the little spoon.",
|
|
"Shitlords.",
|
|
"Slapping your dick on a parking meter in lieu of depositing change.",
|
|
"Standing your ground at the Million Man March.",
|
|
"Sucking menstrual fluid out with a straw.",
|
|
"The Axis getting it Reich next time.",
|
|
"The heavy burden of breaking 72 angelic hymens in a row.",
|
|
"The Iranian gonorrhea that killed my grandfather.",
|
|
"The ISIS Bucket Challenge.",
|
|
"The self satisfaction that can only come with pooping twice in one day.",
|
|
"The vas deferens.",
|
|
"Thinking the ratio of Judeo-Christian jokes to Muslim jokes is a bit high.",
|
|
"Thirty-ninth trimester abortions.",
|
|
"Those assholes who carry their assault rifles with them everywhere.",
|
|
"Titty fucking a nun.",
|
|
"Treating your 9-year-old to a 5-star hotel in Bangkok.",
|
|
"Unaccredited cosmetology schools.",
|
|
"Using food for dildos.",
|
|
"Vaginal discharge that smells like a fresh reuben sandwich.",
|
|
"Watermelon and collard greens.",
|
|
"Weaponized gonorrhea.",
|
|
"Whatever semen tastes like... because I don't know. Really, stop asking.",
|
|
"Whiskey dick.",
|
|
"Withholding the cure for AIDS.",
|
|
"YOLO.",
|
|
"Your whore mouth.",
|
|
"$20 tinnies",
|
|
"10 feet of snow in 2 days.",
|
|
"20 pieces of sweet Chicken McNugget goodness.",
|
|
"27 tonnets of 1080 pellets",
|
|
"33 year old grandmothers in West Auckland",
|
|
"A \"not stolen\" Holden Commodore",
|
|
"a 12 year old",
|
|
"a 50 cent mix from the dairy",
|
|
"A bach with an empty beer fridge",
|
|
"A big night in Greymouth with Hopeful Christian",
|
|
"A big sad dragon with no friends.",
|
|
"A bit of slap and tickle.",
|
|
"A blue waffle.",
|
|
"A capital city built on a faultline",
|
|
"A career on the benefit",
|
|
"A cheeky root at Shag Point",
|
|
"A chocolate fish",
|
|
"A colander on the head for religious reasons",
|
|
"A couple of juicy udders",
|
|
"A crusty Fleshlight.",
|
|
"A day fishing with Clarke Gayford and Baby Neve",
|
|
"a drunken night in Bangkok.",
|
|
"A fence of bras",
|
|
"A Finance Minister without a finance degree",
|
|
"A freedom boner.",
|
|
"A fresh shave.",
|
|
"A hoo-hoo that bites your ding-dong.",
|
|
"a hot-house, which, I think, is a very ill house too",
|
|
"A huge fall of a Lime Scooter",
|
|
"A Kakapo mating with your friends head",
|
|
"A king hit at King's college",
|
|
"A Kiwi with lasers for eyes",
|
|
"A life that peaked when you were in the Highschool first fifteen",
|
|
"A lock of Judy Bailey's pubes",
|
|
"A massive hole in the ozone layer",
|
|
"A muscular woman with the world's biggest pair of nipples.",
|
|
"A National Defense Service Medal license plate that lets people know you're not fucking around.",
|
|
"A national obsession with large corrugated iron statues",
|
|
"A night visit from Uncle Bully",
|
|
"a one hit wonder",
|
|
"A paht blaze with your hori-ass mates",
|
|
"a pair of reechy kisses",
|
|
"A pie that has been blown on",
|
|
"A pint of beer half-full of dead snails.",
|
|
"A prime minister, who is a DJ",
|
|
"A private school's kapa haka",
|
|
"A proudly bilingual nation",
|
|
"A proudly nuclear-free zone",
|
|
"A scoop of perfectly salted kumara fries",
|
|
"A single mum with a 1.5L Nitro",
|
|
"A sippy cup fill of curdled milk",
|
|
"A slightly mummified moa foot",
|
|
"A sly root in the disabled toilets...",
|
|
"A steaming fresh cow patt",
|
|
"A stinky hoo-ha.",
|
|
"A surprise chokehold by Valerie Adams",
|
|
"A surprise proposal",
|
|
"A thick load of D.I.Y. in our D.N.A.",
|
|
"A thorough Fair Go investigation",
|
|
"A three-way handshake with Richie McCaw",
|
|
"A tractor on the steps of NZ Parliament",
|
|
"A trip to the Black Power pad with Don Brash",
|
|
"A trip to the thrift store",
|
|
"A twenty pack of Winnie Blue's",
|
|
"An eel up the bum",
|
|
"An endangered Anika Moa",
|
|
"An endearing old woman saying \"Thank you for your service.\"",
|
|
"An L&P that's more than a 'little but different, eh'",
|
|
"Andrew Hore clubbing seals",
|
|
"Another Asian tourist drowning at Piha",
|
|
"Army Regulations.",
|
|
"Baby Neve",
|
|
"Being fucking stupid.",
|
|
"Being self-employed, chucking mud at those cows over there",
|
|
"Being so desparate for piss you build an island to dodge liquor laws",
|
|
"Ben Lummis' singing career",
|
|
"Beneficiary bashing",
|
|
"Bing \"werewolves not swearwolves\"",
|
|
"Bluff Oysters",
|
|
"Boogie-boarding down Huka Falls",
|
|
"Boondockers.",
|
|
"Brendon McCullum's little wicket",
|
|
"Buck Shelford's testicle",
|
|
"Buger all..!",
|
|
"Bulls driving utes in TV ads",
|
|
"Burning down the White House.",
|
|
"Burning penises into the grass for Google Earth",
|
|
"Captain Cook",
|
|
"Casually chatting with St. Peter and St. Paul.",
|
|
"Catching herpes from a Jetstar flight attendant",
|
|
"Chainsawing down the one tree on One Tree Hill",
|
|
"Child poverty",
|
|
"Chlamydia infected genitalia",
|
|
"Choosing the family dinner buekt over paying the powerbill",
|
|
"Christchurch Cathedral",
|
|
"Christchurch earthquake",
|
|
"Church-sponsored care packages filled with tube socks and disappointment.",
|
|
"Climbing and breaking a pole that turns out to be a $300,000 sculpture",
|
|
"Colin Craig's poetry",
|
|
"Colonisation",
|
|
"Country Calendar: After Dark",
|
|
"Crusher Collins",
|
|
"Dan Carter's underwear skidmarks",
|
|
"David Bain's sweater.",
|
|
"David Seymour smiling through your window",
|
|
"David Tua's Iron Fist",
|
|
"Dawn raids",
|
|
"Deep-friend Kiwi",
|
|
"Dominic Bowden's pauses",
|
|
"Don Brash yelling \"Sieg Heil\"",
|
|
"Dove Love's chart toping single: 'I'm so blessed'",
|
|
"Dr Libby's vaginal rejuvenation",
|
|
"Eating out some Chinese with Len Brown",
|
|
"Edward Scrumpyhands",
|
|
"Erogenous zones.",
|
|
"Fairy bread",
|
|
"Family trips to WINZ",
|
|
"Father's forbidden chocolates.",
|
|
"Feeling roughly the size of a bloated narwhal",
|
|
"Fingering a baboon`s big red arse",
|
|
"Fish fries in the basement.",
|
|
"Fishy business with Clarke Gayford",
|
|
"Flat white enema",
|
|
"Food in a Minute",
|
|
"Frying your food not your brain",
|
|
"Full frontal nudity.",
|
|
"Gandalf yelling \"You shall not pass!\"",
|
|
"Gareth Morgan's dead pussy",
|
|
"Gear adrift, gear a gift!",
|
|
"Getting a student loan to listen to the bangers while on hold to Studylink",
|
|
"Getting a toothless blowjob during the Coronation Street theme song",
|
|
"Getting caught staring at your sister's rack.",
|
|
"Getting chlamydia at The Outback",
|
|
"Getting her wet at the bucket fountain",
|
|
"Getting hit on by a volunterr surf lifeguard",
|
|
"Getting my butt trapped hilariously in a tuba.",
|
|
"Getting the grandparents to watch the kids while you play the pokies",
|
|
"Getting way too competitve on the Rotorua Luge",
|
|
"Ghost pepper chicken wing shits.",
|
|
"Glitter tits at RNV",
|
|
"Glorious leader Kim Jong-un riding Godzilla.",
|
|
"Going to Hobbiton for your hairy foot fetish",
|
|
"Going to the shed for a \"milking\"",
|
|
"Gore, the epicentre of New Zealand's swingers community",
|
|
"Grammar Nazis invading France and correcting everything in their path.",
|
|
"Guzzling Rose with white girls",
|
|
"Hand feeding Rob Ford Cheez-its",
|
|
"Hard-hitting investigative journalism.",
|
|
"Having your rubbers ravaged by Keas",
|
|
"Heather du-Plessis Allan in your wank bank",
|
|
"Hillary Barry's thigh gap",
|
|
"Hitting 3% of the Kiwibuild target",
|
|
"Hitting the bong you made from a Coke can",
|
|
"Hitting the gas when you see possums eyes on the road ahead",
|
|
"Hitting the Peak before Sir Edmund Hillary",
|
|
"Hobos.",
|
|
"Hold my beer, I'm gonna try something.",
|
|
"Home-buying tips from Billy T James",
|
|
"Homebrand tomato sauce",
|
|
"Hone Heke hacking down a flagstaff",
|
|
"Hooking up with Naz from The Bachelor",
|
|
"Jacinda Ardern's dentist bill",
|
|
"Jam and cream doughnuts",
|
|
"Jason Faafoi \"gunging\" on kids",
|
|
"Jason Gunn spending his free time with Thingee's eye socket",
|
|
"Jerking off to mum's copy of the Ezibuy magazine",
|
|
"Jerry Collins' onfield piss before a Bledisloe test",
|
|
"Jetboating into a pole",
|
|
"John McCain's thumb.",
|
|
"Joining the 'dole bludgers' to build your fortnite career",
|
|
"Jordie Barrett eating Maccas in the wrong house",
|
|
"Joseph parker flipping out his Whopper",
|
|
"Judy Bailey, the mother of a Nation",
|
|
"Jusin Marchall saying \"me oh my I have enjoyed that yes boy\" repeatedly",
|
|
"Karen, who wants her $20 back",
|
|
"Kate Hawkesby's queer husband",
|
|
"Kazza from the shearing gang",
|
|
"Killing a Mini Horse",
|
|
"Killing the last Maui dolphin so you can fuel your car",
|
|
"Knicking World Cup conversions in an All Blacks crop top",
|
|
"Land claims",
|
|
"Leaky home syndrome",
|
|
"Lei Hart's (that always hits the spot)",
|
|
"Letting that pussy breathe.",
|
|
"Licking Raro straight out of your sweaty palms",
|
|
"Lily from BigSave",
|
|
"Lipstick on a pig",
|
|
"Living under a rock.",
|
|
"Losing your virginity to an Uber eats' delivery partner",
|
|
"Lundy five hundy",
|
|
"Lydia Ko's 9th hole",
|
|
"Manscaping",
|
|
"Marcia Morgan's magnificent breasts.",
|
|
"Marilyn Denis' face",
|
|
"Mark Wahlberg.",
|
|
"Marmite on toast",
|
|
"Massive cunt lips.",
|
|
"Maui fishing up the North Island",
|
|
"Max Temkin.",
|
|
"Meat served on sticks",
|
|
"Meat week",
|
|
"Meningitis",
|
|
"Mike Hosking's empathy towards the poor",
|
|
"Mike McRoberts' abs",
|
|
"Mike Puru eating lunch alone",
|
|
"Mince & cheese pie with a durrie",
|
|
"More bloody sheep than people...",
|
|
"More pointless mahi",
|
|
"Mowing the stupid lawn.",
|
|
"Mr Whippy",
|
|
"Mt Eden Prison fight club",
|
|
"Multiple amputations.",
|
|
"Mumbling your way through the Maori part of the National Anthem",
|
|
"My mate's missus",
|
|
"My Michael Jackson dance moves",
|
|
"Nadia Lim's freshly prepared clam",
|
|
"Nancies.",
|
|
"Native American gambling.",
|
|
"no more brain than a stone",
|
|
"North Shore girls",
|
|
"Not being able to button your pants.",
|
|
"Not implementing a capital gains tax",
|
|
"Not many, if any",
|
|
"Not reflecting the views of my employer.",
|
|
"Nun chunks.",
|
|
"NZ Police chasing a stray sheep up the main highway",
|
|
"NZ top celebrity: the lion man",
|
|
"Oer-indulging on feijoas",
|
|
"Old-bird Marjorie from the RSA",
|
|
"Paddy Gower yelling: \"This is the fucking news!\"",
|
|
"Pale Irish people.",
|
|
"Pamela Anderson's boobs running in slow motion.",
|
|
"Paranormal activity on Wellington",
|
|
"Parenting lessons from Chris Kahui",
|
|
"Paul Ryan.",
|
|
"Paula Bennett pretnding she's smoked 'The Weed' before",
|
|
"Paula's panini",
|
|
"Performing a powhiri when she introduces you to her Pakeha parents",
|
|
"Peter Dunne's bow-tie",
|
|
"Phat manu's",
|
|
"Pingas",
|
|
"Pink and White Terraces",
|
|
"Popping my knuckles when it suddenly gets quiet at church.",
|
|
"Preloading",
|
|
"Prime ministers inventing three-way handshakes",
|
|
"Primo shlick material.",
|
|
"Props Boy",
|
|
"Protesting apartheid games by sprinkling thumbtacks on the fields",
|
|
"Pulling a sickie on a Monday after a bender",
|
|
"Putting a lamb roast through as brown onions on the self-checkout.",
|
|
"Putting down the last Tux Wonder Dog",
|
|
"Putting Neve up for adoption",
|
|
"Putting two spoons of Ketamine in your Nan`s tea.",
|
|
"Realising there are shows over the powerline at your Nan's place",
|
|
"Regional fuel tax",
|
|
"Relentlessly insisting that you were right all along.",
|
|
"Richie McCaw's 12th concussion",
|
|
"Road trip with Mark Lundy",
|
|
"Robert \"Piggy\" Muldoon",
|
|
"Rocket Labs next payload",
|
|
"Running naked backwards through a field of dicks.",
|
|
"Salt in the sugar shakers",
|
|
"Scoring Beyonce as your egg donor",
|
|
"Scroggin with all the yoghurt-coated raisins picked out",
|
|
"Sculling frre beers in the Koru Lounge",
|
|
"Sea slugs",
|
|
"Sewing up your torn scrotum on the sideline before returning to the field",
|
|
"Shemales",
|
|
"Shiny gadgets for sadness distraction.",
|
|
"Shrek the woolly sheep",
|
|
"Sipping artificial popcorn butter.",
|
|
"Six times the legal quota of Kina",
|
|
"Skin cancer from being outside for 5 minutes",
|
|
"Slicing a ham in icy silence.",
|
|
"Slowing down the sun",
|
|
"Smoking a pipe with G. K. Chesterton.",
|
|
"Some FUCKING EGGS!!",
|
|
"Spaghetti on pizza",
|
|
"Spear tackling",
|
|
"Spending $30,000 on a penguin called Happy Feet just to have it eaten by a shark",
|
|
"Spewing up a yardy",
|
|
"Spirit Airlines.",
|
|
"Spreading measles at work",
|
|
"State housing",
|
|
"Stephen Fleming's heat pump",
|
|
"Steve Hansen's adorable chuckle",
|
|
"Steven Joyce's dildo",
|
|
"Sue Nicholson from Sensing Murder failing to find another body",
|
|
"Suzanne Paul vajazzling with luminous spheres",
|
|
"Synthetic cannabis",
|
|
"Taking a naked ride on the bonnet through the car wash",
|
|
"Taking the TTC to Scarborough",
|
|
"Talk like a Pirate Day",
|
|
"Tall, dark, and hung.",
|
|
"Tamati Coffey knocking the Maori Party out of parliamant",
|
|
"Tangled Slinkys.",
|
|
"Taunting disabled people.",
|
|
"That Keto diet vagina smell",
|
|
"That time you were only four balls short from winning Lotto",
|
|
"The \"Housing Crisis\"",
|
|
"The \"Skuxx Life\"",
|
|
"The \"Special\" cream on top of the pavlova",
|
|
"The 18 scoop challenge at Pokeno",
|
|
"The acceptance every sex pest feels on \"Movember\"",
|
|
"The after hours debauchery of the Goodnight Kiwi",
|
|
"The all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing!",
|
|
"The basic bitches at a Six60 concert",
|
|
"The Beast of Blenheim",
|
|
"The biscuit tin full of sewing supples",
|
|
"The Briscoes Lady",
|
|
"The bro",
|
|
"The Chlamydia capital of New Zealand",
|
|
"The Coast Guard Core Values.",
|
|
"The crazy, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.",
|
|
"The crushing of your enemies while seeing them driven before you while their women lament in foreign dialects.",
|
|
"The crushing realisation your house is an ex meth-lab",
|
|
"The culinary masterpiece of Heil's Kitchen",
|
|
"The cyanide pill you keep on your person at all times.",
|
|
"The Devil Himself.",
|
|
"The ever-decreasing relevance of farmers in the NZ economy",
|
|
"The Evers-Swindell twins tag-teaming NZ meat",
|
|
"The fabled Mongolian Death Worm.",
|
|
"The final night of daylight saving",
|
|
"The Gloriavale gloryhole",
|
|
"The Hustle.",
|
|
"The increasing epidemic of Homelessness",
|
|
"The line at KFC on WINZ payout day",
|
|
"The local UFO cult.",
|
|
"The Lorde, our God",
|
|
"The maddening CLICK CLICK CLICK of fingernails on iPhone®.",
|
|
"The milkman.",
|
|
"The Nek minnit guy",
|
|
"The NZ Black Cocks",
|
|
"The Ohukane carrot",
|
|
"The old gods.",
|
|
"The quiet game",
|
|
"The Red Peak flag",
|
|
"The relief you experience when Rhythm and Vines comes to an end",
|
|
"The seething condescension of Baby Boomers",
|
|
"The size of my penis.",
|
|
"The sound of Helen Clark moaning",
|
|
"The sudden realisation you're 'beached as bro'",
|
|
"The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.",
|
|
"The Tangiwai disaster",
|
|
"The Toronto Maple Leafs",
|
|
"The Treaty of Waitang",
|
|
"The virginity you lost at the local rugby club",
|
|
"The Waiwai express",
|
|
"The Warriors",
|
|
"The way white people is.",
|
|
"Tommy Davis's short-lived emlpoyment at Mitre 10",
|
|
"Violent german orgies at the Kim Dotcom mansion",
|
|
"Waking up at 5 am to pray.",
|
|
"Wet dreams about Suzy Cato",
|
|
"Winning a maternity photoshoot with Mark Richardson",
|
|
"Wizard spells.",
|
|
"Women's suffrage.",
|
|
"Your mate who thinks he's an actor after being an extra on Shortland Street",
|
|
"Your mates' appearance on Police 10/7",
|
|
"Your virginity for sale on TradeMe - $1 reserve",
|
|
"3.9 billion years of evolution.",
|
|
"A bag of dicks.",
|
|
"A bushel of pubes.",
|
|
"A cum-stained rainbow.",
|
|
"A flaming bag of horse shit.",
|
|
"A malaria party.",
|
|
"A male cheerleader.",
|
|
"A pong machine that's self-aware.",
|
|
"A slow painful death.",
|
|
"Adderall.",
|
|
"An Aids infected penis.",
|
|
"An ancient Aztecan warrior's foreskin.",
|
|
"An ass so fat it breaks the laws of physics.",
|
|
"Asians singing karoke.",
|
|
"Beating a small child with a small child.",
|
|
"Being a clever little girl.",
|
|
"Being poor.",
|
|
"Being so rich you can wipe your ass with $20 bills.",
|
|
"Bill Cosby's chocolate pudding pop.",
|
|
"Crawling into a vagina.",
|
|
"Creepy guys at the edge of the dance floor.",
|
|
"Cunnilingus.",
|
|
"Disappointment of my parents.",
|
|
"Donkey punching your high school crush.",
|
|
"Drug problems.",
|
|
"Dry-humping mannequins in a store window at the mall.",
|
|
"Ejaculating into the tuna fish slad.",
|
|
"Elton John's wardrobe.",
|
|
"Faith in mankind.",
|
|
"Faking a jellyfish sting so someone will pee on you.",
|
|
"Farting in a crowded elevator.",
|
|
"Farting into a child's stroller.",
|
|
"Finger banging my little sister.",
|
|
"Fisting your own asshole.",
|
|
"Getting a rim-job from the baby sitter.",
|
|
"Getting really concerned about global warming for a few seconds.",
|
|
"Giving Bill Clinton oral sex.",
|
|
"Gonorrhea.",
|
|
"Grandmother's heart-shaped box.",
|
|
"Great grandfather's dirtstar.",
|
|
"Happy Endings.",
|
|
"Helen Keller's Tampon.",
|
|
"Hoverboards.",
|
|
"Licking your partner's feet.",
|
|
"Mexicans.",
|
|
"Michelle Obama.",
|
|
"Midget porn obsession.",
|
|
"Money shots.",
|
|
"My dick in your mouth.",
|
|
"Old Asian women drivers.",
|
|
"Playing hot potato with a live grenade.",
|
|
"Princess Lelia's vagina.",
|
|
"Quaaludes.",
|
|
"Rank ass breath.",
|
|
"Rape victims.",
|
|
"Raptor Jesus.",
|
|
"Ron Jeremy's foreskin, which is still bigger than my dick.",
|
|
"Rosie O'Donnell's dick.",
|
|
"Slammin a live fish on the counter and calling it dinner.",
|
|
"Small man syndrome.",
|
|
"Soaking.",
|
|
"Stealing candy from a small child.",
|
|
"Sucking dick for money.",
|
|
"Taco bell poops.",
|
|
"Texting while driving.",
|
|
"The 1%.",
|
|
"The black lung.",
|
|
"The blacks.",
|
|
"The timing on my menstrual cycle.",
|
|
"Two girls one cup.",
|
|
"Unicorn and Rainbows.",
|
|
"Used condoms.",
|
|
"Using bacon grease as lubricant.",
|
|
"Whoopie Goldberg's nipples.",
|
|
"Wife Beaters.",
|
|
"A bowl of primordial soup.",
|
|
"A dildo so big it won't fit anywhere.",
|
|
"A dried up vagina.",
|
|
"A dried-up vagina.",
|
|
"A good ol' TSA pat down.",
|
|
"A good ol' TSA pat-down.",
|
|
"A lack of respect for personal space.",
|
|
"A mildly retarded seahorse.",
|
|
"A power bottom.",
|
|
"A sex change operation gone horribly wrong.",
|
|
"A slender, pasty vampire that sparkles in the sun named Edward.",
|
|
"A slender, pasty vampire that sparkles in the sun.",
|
|
"A stud muffin.",
|
|
"Accidentally getting jizzed on in a threesome.",
|
|
"Allahu akbar.",
|
|
"An irrational hatred for midgets.",
|
|
"An irrational hatred of midgets.",
|
|
"An openly gay living statue.",
|
|
"An uninspiring make out session with a Mexican.",
|
|
"An uninspiring make-out session with a Mexican.",
|
|
"Attending a lemon party.",
|
|
"Being at the center of a golden shower.",
|
|
"Being politically correct all the time.",
|
|
"Black on black violence.",
|
|
"Black-on-Black violence.",
|
|
"Booking a flight just for the anal cavity search.",
|
|
"Brangelina.",
|
|
"Cankles.",
|
|
"Chicks with dicks.",
|
|
"Creationism.",
|
|
"Cutting in line at the local glory hole.",
|
|
"Cyber bullying.",
|
|
"Cyberbullying.",
|
|
"Dieing a virgin.",
|
|
"Doing taxes while jerking off.",
|
|
"Drinking the tears of cancer patients.",
|
|
"Driving around schools in a black windowless van.",
|
|
"Dry humping a pillow while listening to Sting.",
|
|
"Dry-humping a pillow while listening to Sting.",
|
|
"Dying a virgin.",
|
|
"Erotic karaoke.",
|
|
"Euthanizing old people.",
|
|
"Feeding Munchkins to a great white shark.",
|
|
"Forgiving my parents for the sexual abuse.",
|
|
"Forgiving parents for sexual abuse.",
|
|
"Getting an enema just for fun.",
|
|
"Getting eaten alive by puppies.",
|
|
"Giving out free hand jobs at the homeless shelter.",
|
|
"Grannies gone wild.",
|
|
"Having an uncontrollable orgasm while talking to animals.",
|
|
"Having sexual thoughts about that hot cousin.",
|
|
"Hearing my parents have sex through the ceiling.",
|
|
"His Holiness, the intergalactic space lord Xenu.",
|
|
"Holocaust denial.",
|
|
"Hysterically laughing at poor people.",
|
|
"Inappropriately touching a dead body.",
|
|
"Infected nipples.",
|
|
"Interracial gay porn.",
|
|
"James Spader staring right into your soul.",
|
|
"Jar Jar Binks being all clumsy and shit.",
|
|
"John Travolta putting on his toupee.",
|
|
"Joining ISIS for the adventure.",
|
|
"Kicking kittens when nobody's watching.",
|
|
"Liberal propaganda.",
|
|
"Literally taking candy from a baby.",
|
|
"Living out loud and proud.",
|
|
"Mark Wahlberg's rap career.",
|
|
"Matt Damon's beady eyes.",
|
|
"Mother's buxom bosom.",
|
|
"Mother's buxom bosoms.",
|
|
"My burqa fetish.",
|
|
"My lack of humanity.",
|
|
"No respect for personal space.",
|
|
"Oiled up bodybuilders wearing only a thong.",
|
|
"Oiled-up bodybuilders wearing nothing but thongs.",
|
|
"Pale, red-headed, Irish people.",
|
|
"Paying your fair share.",
|
|
"People that consider themselves Pastafarians.",
|
|
"Posting on Facebook while sitting on the toilet.",
|
|
"Power Puff Girls® cosplay.",
|
|
"Powerpuff Girls™ cosplay.",
|
|
"Pretending to care about third world problems",
|
|
"Pro slavery activists.",
|
|
"Pro-slavery activists.",
|
|
"Rednecks with to much mascara on.",
|
|
"Rednecks with too much mascara on.",
|
|
"Referring to black people as darkies.",
|
|
"Robert De Niro doing a poor impression of himself.",
|
|
"Robin Williams' ghost.",
|
|
"Ruined childhood dreams.",
|
|
"Sacrificing your first born to Satan.",
|
|
"Sacrificing your firstborn to Satan.",
|
|
"Seducing an annoyed hobo.",
|
|
"Seeing dead people.",
|
|
"Selling your virginity for $19.99.",
|
|
"Sloppily French kissing my hand.",
|
|
"Sloppily French kissing my own hand.",
|
|
"Someone who mildly resembles John Cusack.",
|
|
"Sub-Saharan cannibals.",
|
|
"Swallowing a grown man whole.",
|
|
"Switching bodies with mom for a day.",
|
|
"The AIDS Bunny.",
|
|
"The average American.",
|
|
"The Boston bombers.",
|
|
"The Chippendales®.",
|
|
"The current Card Czar.",
|
|
"The guy that all trainers hate.",
|
|
"The Hollywood elite.",
|
|
"The Illuminati.",
|
|
"The Manson family.",
|
|
"The Most Interesting Man in the World©.",
|
|
"The Most Interesting Man in the World®.",
|
|
"The obligatory black guy.",
|
|
"The realest nigga ever.",
|
|
"The souls of children that died to young.",
|
|
"The souls of children that died too young.",
|
|
"The Third Reich 2.0.",
|
|
"The voices in my head.",
|
|
"TIMMEH!!!",
|
|
"Trigger happy cops.",
|
|
"Trigger-happy cops.",
|
|
"Turning straight men gay.",
|
|
"Twitter stalking.",
|
|
"Uncle Fester.",
|
|
"Unisex children.",
|
|
"Visible-Man, the most useless superhero of them all.",
|
|
"Vladimir Putin riding a bear.",
|
|
"Wearing gym shorts several sizes to small to accentuate the bulge.",
|
|
"Wearing gym shorts several sizes too small to accentuate the bulge.",
|
|
"White guilt.",
|
|
"Wiggers.",
|
|
"Winning the Eurovision Song Contest three times in a row.",
|
|
"Winning the Eurovision Song Contest® three times in a row.",
|
|
"A call from the police",
|
|
"A mysteriously deleted browser history",
|
|
"A postiive STD test",
|
|
"A skirt too short",
|
|
"Acne",
|
|
"An encyclopedic knowledge of pop music but no clue about algebra",
|
|
"An uncontrollable erection",
|
|
"Annoying Snapchat filters",
|
|
"Arguing about their hygiene",
|
|
"Awkward gym showers",
|
|
"Awkward sex conversations",
|
|
"Being the \"hangout house\"",
|
|
"Being too cool for mom",
|
|
"Catching them shoplifting from the 7-11",
|
|
"Choosing a high school for its sports team",
|
|
"Code phrases to signify menstrual periods",
|
|
"Counting the days until they move out",
|
|
"Crushing birth control pills into her breakfast every morning",
|
|
"Debating your closely held beliefs with a skeptical tween",
|
|
"Demanding an end to video game addiction",
|
|
"Expecting abstinence",
|
|
"Explaining the news to a smart-ass teen",
|
|
"Finding out your son is a peeping tom",
|
|
"Finding their profile on Tinder",
|
|
"Finding their secret social media profile",
|
|
"Finding your teen at the local strip club",
|
|
"Getting high with your teen",
|
|
"Getting revenge by changing the Wi-Fi password",
|
|
"Giving them \"the talk\"",
|
|
"Halloween costumes that cross the line",
|
|
"Her first time wearing makeup",
|
|
"Hiding the phone chargers to get them to do their homework",
|
|
"His first attempt at a mustache",
|
|
"His first box of condoms",
|
|
"Junior high drama",
|
|
"Learning how to twerk from your teen",
|
|
"Maxing out the credit card in one weekend",
|
|
"Middle school flashbacks",
|
|
"Oversharing on social media",
|
|
"Passing the driver's license test",
|
|
"Peach fuzz pubes",
|
|
"Puberty",
|
|
"Realizing they are growing up to be just like you",
|
|
"Relearning algebra to help them with homework",
|
|
"School friends' uneducated views on sex",
|
|
"Slamming doors",
|
|
"Stealing your kid's weed",
|
|
"Taking pride in their acceptance by the cool kids",
|
|
"Teaching them how to properly stab their best friend in the back",
|
|
"That time they got caught smoking in the school bathroom",
|
|
"The ability to embarrass a teen anytime, anywhere",
|
|
"The constant narration of imaginary YouTube videos",
|
|
"The drama of being chosen last at gym",
|
|
"The first time they say \"because you're, like, old\"",
|
|
"The groping teen",
|
|
"The horror of a bad selfie",
|
|
"The horrors of middle school band",
|
|
"The life-changing drama of today's breakup",
|
|
"The Parents' Homework Hotline",
|
|
"The squeaky voice of puberty",
|
|
"The sudden interest in the opposite sex",
|
|
"The unrelenting attitude that crushes any sanity you have left",
|
|
"Their diet of cereal, ramen, pizza, and a gallon of milk every day",
|
|
"Their sh*tty taste in music",
|
|
"Their sudden recognition of dirty jokes",
|
|
"Their taste in teen movies",
|
|
"True love! For the third time this week",
|
|
"Two hour showers",
|
|
"Watching their eyes glaze over when you start talking",
|
|
"Wearing ear plugs to the tween pop concert",
|
|
"Wishing they'd waste weekends playing Dungeons and Dragons like you did",
|
|
"Wondering how your parents ever survived your teen years",
|
|
"Wondering whose thing is in the wash",
|
|
"a baboon's blood",
|
|
"a barber's chair that fits all buttocks",
|
|
"a barren sister",
|
|
"a boil,\\na plague-sore,\\nan embossed carbuncle",
|
|
"a bolt of nothing, shot at nothing",
|
|
"a butter-woman's mouth",
|
|
"a care-crazed mother of many children",
|
|
"a certain convocation of politic worms",
|
|
"a Christmas comedy",
|
|
"a cock that nobody can match",
|
|
"a codpiece to stick pins on",
|
|
"a combless cock",
|
|
"a couch for luxury and damned incest",
|
|
"a cow in June",
|
|
"a deploring dump",
|
|
"a dog as big as ten of yours",
|
|
"a double tongue; there's two tongues",
|
|
"a dumb innocent",
|
|
"a Dutchman today,\\n\\na Frenchman to-morrow",
|
|
"a Dutchman's beard",
|
|
"a fat tripe finely broiled",
|
|
"a father cruel, and a step-dame false",
|
|
"a foutre for the world",
|
|
"a gentleman and a gamester, sir",
|
|
"a German from the waist downward",
|
|
"a great eater of beef",
|
|
"a gross lout, a mindless slave, or else a hovering temporizer",
|
|
"a hand that kings have lipped",
|
|
"a hot friend",
|
|
"a hundred bastards",
|
|
"a husband with a beard on his face",
|
|
"a jewel that too casually hath left mine arm",
|
|
"A Kate conformable as other household Kates",
|
|
"a kind of excellent dumb discourse",
|
|
"a kind of yesty collection",
|
|
"a king transformed to a gnat",
|
|
"a knack,\\na toy,\\na trick,\\na baby's cap",
|
|
"a lewd day-bed",
|
|
"a liberal rewarder of his friends",
|
|
"a mess of Russians",
|
|
"a modern ecstasy",
|
|
"a most notorious pirate",
|
|
"a new hat",
|
|
"a pair of stainless maidenhoods",
|
|
"a piece of beef and mustard",
|
|
"a plentiful lack of wit,\\n\\ntogether with most weak hams",
|
|
"a poor, bare, forked animal",
|
|
"a pretty piece of flesh",
|
|
"a puppy greyhound",
|
|
"a rare parrot-teacher",
|
|
"a rat without a tail",
|
|
"a robustious periwig-pated fellow",
|
|
"a shrewd thrust at your belly",
|
|
"a small grey-coated gnat",
|
|
"a strange invisible perfume",
|
|
"a supersublte Venetian",
|
|
"a tale told by an idiot",
|
|
"a taller man than I",
|
|
"a tender ass",
|
|
"a thousand noses",
|
|
"a tooth-picker from the furthest inch of Asia",
|
|
"a very good bowler",
|
|
"a very good whore",
|
|
"a very mean meaning",
|
|
"a virtuous and Christian-like conclusion",
|
|
"a wealthy Hebrew",
|
|
"a whole school of tongues in this belly of mine",
|
|
"a wonder, if you talk of a wonder",
|
|
"a wood woman",
|
|
"Adam,\\nRalph,\\nand Gregory",
|
|
"Alexander the Pig",
|
|
"all kinds of sores and shames on my bare hand",
|
|
"all the hot bloods",
|
|
"all the pleasures of the world",
|
|
"an asshead",
|
|
"an evil diet",
|
|
"an Hebrew, a Jew",
|
|
"an index obscure prologue to the history of lust and foul thoughts",
|
|
"an invisible baldrick",
|
|
"an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head",
|
|
"an unstanched wench",
|
|
"anunauthorized kiss",
|
|
"asaucy stranger",
|
|
"bastard Normans,\\n\\nNorman bastards!",
|
|
"bellowing like bulls",
|
|
"blasting in the bud",
|
|
"blowing him down again",
|
|
"blubbering and weeping,\\n\\nweeping and blubbering",
|
|
"bold and saucy",
|
|
"both the Blunts",
|
|
"Bottom's Dream",
|
|
"boys with bugs",
|
|
"brawling in French",
|
|
"bully-monster",
|
|
"clamorous whining",
|
|
"converting Jews to Christians",
|
|
"cony-catching",
|
|
"Crab, my dog",
|
|
"cracking nuts",
|
|
"Cupid's butt-shaft",
|
|
"dismal thinkings",
|
|
"drinking,\\nfencing,\\nswearing,\\nquarrelling",
|
|
"dumb jewels",
|
|
"eahc actor on his ass",
|
|
"eat a crocodile?",
|
|
"eight wild-boars roasted whole at breakfast",
|
|
"elephants with holes",
|
|
"engines of lust",
|
|
"every dream, each buzz",
|
|
"fat bull-beeves",
|
|
"fear and niceness -- the handmaids of all women",
|
|
"fighting o' days and foining o' nights",
|
|
"fingering, so; we'll try with tongue too",
|
|
"foul sluttish hairs",
|
|
"general assault",
|
|
"general woe",
|
|
"good bushes",
|
|
"good strawberies in your garden there",
|
|
"grease that's sweaten from the murderer's gibbet",
|
|
"greasy Joan",
|
|
"greater than great, great, great, great",
|
|
"groaning every hour",
|
|
"groping for trouts in a peculiar river",
|
|
"growing feathers",
|
|
"he that hath killed my king and whored my mother",
|
|
"head, and butt!",
|
|
"headstrong women",
|
|
"her C's,\\nher U's,\\nand her T's",
|
|
"her fine foot, straight leg, and quivering thigh\\n\\nand the demesnes that there adjacent lie",
|
|
"her lamb when it baes",
|
|
"her virgin-knot",
|
|
"here, sir!\\nhere, sir!\\nhere, sir!\\nhere, sir!",
|
|
"hiding the grossness",
|
|
"his beaver",
|
|
"his dog-heartefd daughters",
|
|
"his goatish disposition",
|
|
"his huge legs",
|
|
"his Jewish heart",
|
|
"his love-shaft",
|
|
"his own petard",
|
|
"honeying and making love over the nasty sty",
|
|
"horsing foot on foot",
|
|
"hot love on the wing",
|
|
"how virgins might blow up men",
|
|
"ill-shaped fishes",
|
|
"Jew hands",
|
|
"kicky-wicky",
|
|
"kissing with inside lip",
|
|
"knocking out his brains",
|
|
"laming the shrine of Venus",
|
|
"little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig",
|
|
"living dully sluggardized at home",
|
|
"longing, as I said, for prunes",
|
|
"love's quick pants",
|
|
"lovers' brains",
|
|
"Madam, this glove",
|
|
"Madam,' and nothing else",
|
|
"making him egregiously as ass",
|
|
"making the beast with two backs",
|
|
"marrying a punk",
|
|
"Master Fang",
|
|
"meditating on virginity",
|
|
"meeting noses",
|
|
"men whose heads do grow beneath their shoulders",
|
|
"men-children",
|
|
"mine eye-strings",
|
|
"Monsieur Love",
|
|
"more than one husband",
|
|
"much throwing about of brains",
|
|
"my accursed womb, the bed of death!",
|
|
"my bastardizing",
|
|
"my familiar sin with maids",
|
|
"my father with his bleeding rings",
|
|
"my house,\\nmy household\\nstuff, my field,\\nmy barn,\\nmy horse,\\nmy ox,\\nmy ass,\\nmy any thing",
|
|
"my Jewish gaberdine",
|
|
"my knife in your mouldy chaps",
|
|
"my little body",
|
|
"my mellow hangings, nay, my leaves",
|
|
"my mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands",
|
|
"my pump well flowered",
|
|
"my uncle Clarence",
|
|
"My uncle-father and aunt-mother",
|
|
"my wedding sheets",
|
|
"my well-known body",
|
|
"my wife's liver",
|
|
"Nathaniel,\\nJoseph,\\nNicholas,\\nPhilip,\\nWalter,\\nSugarsop\\nand the rest",
|
|
"nine years a-killing",
|
|
"no bottom, none",
|
|
"no cock of mine",
|
|
"no wars without doors",
|
|
"nose-painting, sleep, and urine",
|
|
"nothing but high shoes",
|
|
"nothing but males",
|
|
"nothing but the word 'noddy'",
|
|
"on her left breast, a mole",
|
|
"one grape",
|
|
"our carnal stings",
|
|
"our external parts",
|
|
"our raging motions",
|
|
"our synagogue",
|
|
"our thighs packed with wax",
|
|
"paddling in your neck with his damned fingers",
|
|
"parsley to stuff a rabbit",
|
|
"penetrable stuff",
|
|
"pent-up guilts",
|
|
"pretty dimpled boys",
|
|
"private time",
|
|
"quaffing and drinking",
|
|
"rank and not-to-be-endured riots",
|
|
"ratsbane in my mouth",
|
|
"reputation,\\nreputation,\\nreputation",
|
|
"ridiculous smiling",
|
|
"rings and things",
|
|
"rustling in unpaid-for silk",
|
|
"saving your manhoods",
|
|
"scaring the ladies like a crow-keeper",
|
|
"seventy senators that died",
|
|
"sighs and groans and shrieks",
|
|
"Sir Smile",
|
|
"sisters!\\nsisters!\\nshame of ladies!\\nsisters!",
|
|
"sitting in my Dolphin-chamber",
|
|
"sitting on a close-stool",
|
|
"so troublesome a bedfellow",
|
|
"some Dick",
|
|
"some enforced chastity",
|
|
"some forlorn and naked hermitage",
|
|
"some minx's token",
|
|
"some more mightier member",
|
|
"some natural notes about her body",
|
|
"some never-heard-of torture",
|
|
"some sack, Francis",
|
|
"some strange eruption",
|
|
"some strange pastime",
|
|
"some tardy cripple",
|
|
"some vicious mole",
|
|
"some wine, ho!",
|
|
"such bugs and goblins in my life",
|
|
"super-dainty Kate",
|
|
"talking with deceiving father of a deceitful son",
|
|
"ten thousand dollars",
|
|
"ten thousand men that fishes gnawed upon",
|
|
"tennis balls, my liege",
|
|
"that drug-damned Italy",
|
|
"that eyeless head of thine",
|
|
"that goose look",
|
|
"that great baby you see there",
|
|
"that Greekish whoremasterly villian with the sleeve",
|
|
"that oozy bed where my son lies",
|
|
"that poisonous bunchbacked toad",
|
|
"that same young Trojan ass that loves the whore there",
|
|
"the best-regarded virgins",
|
|
"the buttery-bar",
|
|
"the cement of our love",
|
|
"the change of man and boy",
|
|
"the circumcised dog",
|
|
"the cost of the erection",
|
|
"the cutting of my garments",
|
|
"the door of a brothel-house",
|
|
"the dribbling dart of love",
|
|
"the entertainment of death",
|
|
"the fellow with the great belly",
|
|
"the first cock",
|
|
"the flower that's like thy face",
|
|
"the foot of a flea",
|
|
"the four,\\nor the three,\\nor the two",
|
|
"the French lord, Monsieur Le Bon",
|
|
"the frozen bosom of the north",
|
|
"the green-eyed monster",
|
|
"the guts of a beggar",
|
|
"the heads of the maids",
|
|
"the heat of a luxurious bed",
|
|
"the holes where eyes should be",
|
|
"the hot duke",
|
|
"the imminent death of twenty thousand men",
|
|
"the inaudible and noiseless foot of Time",
|
|
"the incestuous pleasure of his bed",
|
|
"the infections that the sun sucks up",
|
|
"the innocent mansion of my love",
|
|
"the jerks of invention",
|
|
"the jewels of our father",
|
|
"the lascivious pleasing of a lute",
|
|
"the little hangman",
|
|
"the loose encounters of lascivious men",
|
|
"the maiden's organ,\\nshrill and sound",
|
|
"the meaning, pretty ingenious?",
|
|
"the mere effusion of thy proper loins",
|
|
"the moist star",
|
|
"the most profound sciatica",
|
|
"the natural gates and alleys of the body",
|
|
"the negro's belly",
|
|
"the niggardly rascally sheep-biter",
|
|
"the nimble marmoset",
|
|
"the oily darling",
|
|
"the ousel cock so black of hue",
|
|
"the overscutched huswives",
|
|
"the owner of a foul disease",
|
|
"the pillow, there the bolster, this way the coverlet, another way the sheets",
|
|
"the pin-buttock,\\n\\nthe quatch-buttock,\\n\\nthe brawn buttock,\\n\\nor any buttock",
|
|
"the posterior of the day",
|
|
"the pregnant hinges of the knee",
|
|
"the prettier fellow of the two",
|
|
"the rack of this tough world",
|
|
"the sick tune",
|
|
"the silliest stuff that ever I heard",
|
|
"the son and heir of a mongrel bitch",
|
|
"the sooty bosom",
|
|
"the spongy south",
|
|
"the stinking elder",
|
|
"the strong and swelling evil of my conception",
|
|
"the studious universities",
|
|
"the sweetest morsel of the night",
|
|
"the thick rotundity o' the world!",
|
|
"the three weird sisters",
|
|
"the waggling of your head",
|
|
"the wall of a jakes",
|
|
"the wall's hole, not your lips at all",
|
|
"the wet sea-boy",
|
|
"the word 'three'",
|
|
"the wronger of her and you",
|
|
"their beetle",
|
|
"their numbed and mortified bare arms",
|
|
"their slimy jaws",
|
|
"their wormy beds",
|
|
"these fatal holes",
|
|
"these profound heaves",
|
|
"this bird you aimed at",
|
|
"this crack of your love",
|
|
"this flock of drunkards",
|
|
"This is the worst.",
|
|
"This is too long.",
|
|
"this ridiculous boldness",
|
|
"this sweet lass of France",
|
|
"this weak and writhled shrimp",
|
|
"this young quat",
|
|
"those pampered animals that rage in savage sensuality",
|
|
"thy father's moral parts",
|
|
"thy foot-licker",
|
|
"toes unplagued with corns",
|
|
"topping your white ewe",
|
|
"toys of desperation",
|
|
"turbulent and dangerous lunacy",
|
|
"twenty, watchful, weary, tedious, nights",
|
|
"two blushing pilgrims",
|
|
"two thieves kissing",
|
|
"unknown loins",
|
|
"vile jelly",
|
|
"virginity being blown down",
|
|
"wars with the women",
|
|
"waxen thighs",
|
|
"Welcome, ass.",
|
|
"what have we here?\\n\\na man or a fish?",
|
|
"what o' clock I say it is",
|
|
"what these dastard Frenchman dare",
|
|
"what woman is, yea",
|
|
"What, Jessica!",
|
|
"what's this?\\nmutton?",
|
|
"when I wash my brain",
|
|
"where air comes out",
|
|
"where the bee sucks",
|
|
"whoremaster man",
|
|
"woman in a seeming man",
|
|
"yellow chapless skulls",
|
|
"you, that did void your rheum upon my beard",
|
|
"your beauty, ladies",
|
|
"your bum",
|
|
"your hands again upon my sword",
|
|
"your love's hot fire",
|
|
"your purpled hands",
|
|
"your tongue's sweet melody",
|
|
"your wives, your daughters, your matrons and your maids",
|
|
"youth blasted with ecstasy",
|
|
"A fully-dressed female videogame character.",
|
|
"A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else.",
|
|
"A homemade, cum-stained Star Trek Uniform.",
|
|
"Achieving 500 actions per minute.",
|
|
"Charging up all the way.",
|
|
"Eating a pizza that's lying in the street to gain health.",
|
|
"Endless ninjas.",
|
|
"Forgetting to eat, and consequently dying.",
|
|
"Getting bitten by a radioactive spider and then battling leukemia for 30 years.",
|
|
"Getting bitten by a radioactive spider and then battling leukimia for 30 years.",
|
|
"KHAAAAAAAAN!",
|
|
"Loading from a previous save.",
|
|
"Offering sexual favors for an ore and a sheep.",
|
|
"Running out of stamina.",
|
|
"Separate drinking fountains for dark elves.",
|
|
"Ser Jorah Mormont's cerulean-blue balls.",
|
|
"Sharpening a foam broadsword on a foam whetstone.",
|
|
"Stuffing my balls into a Sega Genesis and pressing the power button.",
|
|
"Taking 2d6 emotional damage.",
|
|
"Tapping Serra Angel.",
|
|
"The Cock Ring of Alacrity.",
|
|
"The collective wail of every Magic player suddenly realizing that they've spent hundreds of dollars on pieces of cardboard.",
|
|
"The depression that ensues after catching 'em all.",
|
|
"Yoshi's huge egg-laying cloaca.",
|
|
"420",
|
|
"$10 bills defaced with anarchist propaganda.",
|
|
"10 minute sof decent sex.",
|
|
"50 dollars' worth of cereal.",
|
|
"64 slices of American cheese.",
|
|
"A Confederate Flag tattoo.",
|
|
"A giant clusterfuck in the center of the galaxy.",
|
|
"A sausage betwixt the cheeks.",
|
|
"Abandoning all my hopes and dreams.",
|
|
"Absolutely nothing.",
|
|
"Abusing public figures on Twitter.",
|
|
"Accidental dick pics.",
|
|
"Accidentally posting a nude to my story.",
|
|
"Actually saying my partner's name during sex.",
|
|
"Adding \"and shit\" to sentences to sound less white.",
|
|
"Adulting classes.",
|
|
"Almost experiencing consequences.",
|
|
"Anchovies.",
|
|
"Another goddamn rustic-looking brewpub.",
|
|
"Antimalarial-induced hallucinations",
|
|
"Apologizing without knowing what I'm apologizing for.",
|
|
"Arming the homeless.",
|
|
"Armpit herpes.",
|
|
"Artificial insemination.",
|
|
"Attending a North Korea summit with the President and Dennis Rodman.",
|
|
"Attractive men with insubstantial dicks.",
|
|
"Avoiding eye contact unless it will lead to fucking.",
|
|
"Backpacking in New Zealand, fucking a Hobbit.",
|
|
"Banana milk.",
|
|
"Barron Trump.",
|
|
"Being a male and needing constant reassurance that I'm not acting gay.",
|
|
"Being a motherfucking mermaid.",
|
|
"Being completely unemployable.",
|
|
"Being in a bad mood for so long that this is just who I am now.",
|
|
"Being kinkshamed on social media.",
|
|
"Being passively-aggressive on social media.",
|
|
"Being proud of taking a long nap.",
|
|
"Big dick energy.",
|
|
"Binge-shopping.",
|
|
"Biting nipples.",
|
|
"Blaming all salty text messages on autocorrect.",
|
|
"Blaming everyone else for everything.",
|
|
"Blissfully ignorant.",
|
|
"Blowing bubbles in the bath with a straw instead of forking out for real bubbles.",
|
|
"Boko Haram.",
|
|
"Bonding with someone over our desire to bang a member of the Royal Family.",
|
|
"Bracing for heartbreak before opening the fridge to see if my roommate ate my leftovers.",
|
|
"Bragging about easting ass but refusing to eat pineapple on pizza.",
|
|
"Bringing cocaine to a baby shower.",
|
|
"Building a nuclear bunker at my parents' house.",
|
|
"Burning in Adulthood Hell.",
|
|
"Burning my neighbor's house down to keep the rent low.",
|
|
"Busting a nut.",
|
|
"Calling the cops on my own party because I'm tired.",
|
|
"Cashiers talking to me about their stepchildren.",
|
|
"Celebrating personal achievements with video games.",
|
|
"Changing my bedsheets.",
|
|
"Charging my dog back rent.",
|
|
"Checking my bank balance.",
|
|
"Checking out of life.",
|
|
"Climbing a mountain.",
|
|
"Clocking out of work.",
|
|
"Closing my eyes and thinking about dick.",
|
|
"Coming home, unwinding, and binge-watching an entire TV series.",
|
|
"Commenting with aggressive memes on Mark Zuckerberg's posts.",
|
|
"Competitive eating.",
|
|
"Complimenting someone's dress sense in person while blasting their poor taste on social media.",
|
|
"Constantly consuming content.",
|
|
"Constantly making plans with my partner to psotpone breaking up.",
|
|
"Convincing my friend I watched the video he shared.",
|
|
"Convincing my roommate I'm not a slob ass piece of shit.",
|
|
"Cooking, serving, and smoking meth.",
|
|
"Covfefe.",
|
|
"Creating perfect camel toe.",
|
|
"Crying in the fetal position.",
|
|
"cunninglus",
|
|
"Cutting coupons for ramen noodles.",
|
|
"Danny DeVito.",
|
|
"Day-drinking and using power tools.",
|
|
"Deep-frying leftover pizza.",
|
|
"Describing my beer belly as \"thicc\".",
|
|
"Destigmatizing alcoholism.",
|
|
"Disappointment.",
|
|
"Discussing coconuts' migratory patterns.",
|
|
"Dope.",
|
|
"Downplaying my hilariousness.",
|
|
"Dreaming about Obama.",
|
|
"Drinking a whole bottle of red wine for the antioxidants.",
|
|
"Drinking wine in bed while watching cartoons.",
|
|
"Driving off a bridge in the hopes of getting a few days off.",
|
|
"Driving without swearing.",
|
|
"Dying from a preventable illness.",
|
|
"Eaing gluten unapologetically.",
|
|
"Earwax sculpting.",
|
|
"Eating a $2 McDonald's meal.",
|
|
"Eating a moldy fruit because it's still organic.",
|
|
"Eating a single tomato in the dark.",
|
|
"Eating a whole head of lettuce like an apple.",
|
|
"Eating anxiety sandwiches.",
|
|
"Eating magic mushrooms and laughing at my dad watching Fox News.",
|
|
"Eating my best friend's placenta.",
|
|
"Eating my partenr's fries even though I could have odered my own.",
|
|
"Eating Nutella for breakfast.",
|
|
"Eating squirrels.",
|
|
"Eating sushi in a dance pit.",
|
|
"Edible porcupines.",
|
|
"Edibles.",
|
|
"Endless fidget spinning.",
|
|
"Erection sword fighting.",
|
|
"Erotic asphyxiation.",
|
|
"Establishing communism.",
|
|
"Experiencing horrible hormonal side-effects from birth control that are still better than using condoms.",
|
|
"Expressing my existential hell through memes.",
|
|
"Extinguishing fires with vodka.",
|
|
"Facebooking while drinking.",
|
|
"Faith in humanity.",
|
|
"Falling pregnant.",
|
|
"Fantasizing about Ruth Bader Ginsberg.",
|
|
"Fantasizing more about seleep than sex.",
|
|
"Feeling a sense of futility while shaving my pubes.",
|
|
"Feeling over the hill at 22.",
|
|
"Feigning interest in others.",
|
|
"Fellowship in Christ.",
|
|
"Female ejaculation.",
|
|
"Finding a small family of racoons living in my sink.",
|
|
"Finding a sugar daddy.",
|
|
"Finding my keys.",
|
|
"Finding my old scene pics from MySpace.",
|
|
"Finding out that fabric softener isn't detergent.",
|
|
"Finding snacks in my cleavage.",
|
|
"Finding thin layers of grease on all of my devices.",
|
|
"Fishing for compliments.",
|
|
"Five shots of coffee mixed with 100g of sugar and two shots of liquor.",
|
|
"Food trucks.",
|
|
"Fuckboys.",
|
|
"Furiously masturbating.",
|
|
"Furiously pirating movies and music.",
|
|
"Gender-neutral pronouns.",
|
|
"Getting action at the TSA.",
|
|
"Getting in a Twitter beef with the president.",
|
|
"Getting mad at people for not responding within 12 minutes.",
|
|
"Getting my dominatrix career off the ground.",
|
|
"Getting no likes on what I thought was an incredibly on-point post.",
|
|
"Getting pulled over for sexting and driving.",
|
|
"Getting roasted by a distant relative on social media.",
|
|
"Getting together with old friends and masturbating together.",
|
|
"Getting turnt up.",
|
|
"Going for a hike while watching YouTube on my phone.",
|
|
"Going to a festival and watching absolutely zero bands.",
|
|
"Going to extreme lengths to convince my boss I'm in hospital.",
|
|
"Gonorrhoea... gift wrapped",
|
|
"Harvesting lint from bodily crevices.",
|
|
"Having a great work ethic in video games and nothing else.",
|
|
"Having a house to myself.",
|
|
"Having a panic attack in a grocery store.",
|
|
"Having a relaxing night deciding what show to watch and choosing nothing.",
|
|
"Having my credit card declined.",
|
|
"Hiding hotdogs in my pocket as a treat for later.",
|
|
"Hillary Clinton's death stare.",
|
|
"Hot jizz.",
|
|
"Hunting unicorns in Alaska.",
|
|
"Ignoring emails but instantly reponding to texts.",
|
|
"Imagining scenarios in which I'm funny.",
|
|
"Inexplicable bruises.",
|
|
"Injecting my insecure chihuahua with steroids.",
|
|
"Inspecting my own asshole with a mirror.",
|
|
"Intense staring contests with cats.",
|
|
"Inventing new curse words.",
|
|
"Jeff Price.",
|
|
"Jesus and tequila.",
|
|
"Joining a book club.",
|
|
"Joining ISIS for the job security.",
|
|
"Joyriding onto a traffic island.",
|
|
"Judging someone called Kyle just because his name is Kyle...",
|
|
"Justin Bieber's secret toupee.",
|
|
"Knowing every detail from Harry Potter but not knowing how to boil an egg.",
|
|
"Kony 2012.",
|
|
"Lacking in major cognitive function.",
|
|
"Learning a language just so the Duolingo owl can keep me company.",
|
|
"Leaving MDMA out for Santa.",
|
|
"Leftover food showing signs of snetience.",
|
|
"Lending my parents money to pay for meds.",
|
|
"Liking a comment my ex tagged their new partner in.",
|
|
"Limiting all sensory experiences to chocolate and YouTube.",
|
|
"Listening to my nephew's abysmal singing.",
|
|
"Lit AF.",
|
|
"Long-distance squirting.",
|
|
"Lying about literally everything on a rental application.",
|
|
"Lying in my own filth.",
|
|
"Making a list of people to kill.",
|
|
"Making a shameless knockoff card game.",
|
|
"Making fun of pumpkin spice but lowkey still enjoying it.",
|
|
"Making sex eyes at a police officer.",
|
|
"Masturbating like nobody's watching.",
|
|
"Masturbating to profile pictures.",
|
|
"Medicated all the time.",
|
|
"Meditation classes.",
|
|
"Mentally undressing my therapist.",
|
|
"Microbreweries.",
|
|
"Microwaving whole cans of soup.",
|
|
"Miniature horses.",
|
|
"Mompreneurs.",
|
|
"Mosquitoes sucking my will to live.",
|
|
"Moving to Serbia and living off $3 a day.",
|
|
"My coping mechanisms creating more problems than the thing I'm trying to cope with.",
|
|
"Not having to deal with people's shit.",
|
|
"Offering emotional support then cutting off all contact.",
|
|
"Ordering a $200 watch because of the free shipping.",
|
|
"Our Dear Supreme Leader.",
|
|
"Overactive glands.",
|
|
"Overanalyzing everything.",
|
|
"Overthrowing capitalism.",
|
|
"Paranormal activity.",
|
|
"Patriotically standing during the national anthem.",
|
|
"Peace and quiet.",
|
|
"Pee-pee juice.",
|
|
"Peeing in my shower.",
|
|
"Peeing in someone else's shower.",
|
|
"Plunging my head into a vat of organic coconut oil.",
|
|
"Pointing out insignificant inaccuracies in people's jokes.",
|
|
"Post Malone.",
|
|
"Pre-existing conditions.",
|
|
"Premature foreclosure.",
|
|
"Preparing the guillotine.",
|
|
"Pretending I'm not one accident away from complete bankruptcy.",
|
|
"Pretending to agree then quietly seeing myself out.",
|
|
"Pretending to be broke to get out of social events.",
|
|
"Pretending to give a fuck.",
|
|
"Pretending work is crazy to get oput of social events.",
|
|
"Pronouncing the p in raspberry.",
|
|
"Psoting selfies with my uglier friends.",
|
|
"Putting on a serious voice.",
|
|
"Putting on pants before noon.",
|
|
"Putting other people's problems before my own.",
|
|
"Pyramid schemes.",
|
|
"Raging hormones.",
|
|
"Ramen noodles.",
|
|
"Reaching sexual climax.",
|
|
"Reading a headline about a trophy hunter being eaten by hyenas.",
|
|
"Realizing I won't be able to retire until I'm 85.",
|
|
"Realizing that today will require underwear.",
|
|
"Receiving participation trophies.",
|
|
"Receiving the weinering of a lifetime.",
|
|
"Recommending self-help books I've never read.",
|
|
"Reevaluating everything every day.",
|
|
"Referring to Avril Lavigne as \"classic rock\".",
|
|
"Renewable dick energy.",
|
|
"Rereading my own hilarious posts.",
|
|
"Responding to everything I hear with \"Yeet\".",
|
|
"Resting my balls on the table.",
|
|
"Resurfacing in a new country with a foreign name.",
|
|
"Riding a dildo with the door open.",
|
|
"Riding my menstraul cycle.",
|
|
"Rimming.",
|
|
"Rubbing my crotch up and down a street pole for change.",
|
|
"Saying I'm too tired to go out, but then staying up till 4 a.m. on my phone.",
|
|
"Saying no to drugs.",
|
|
"Saying yes to drugs.",
|
|
"Screaming at my barista.",
|
|
"Screaming at my pile of dirty clothes.",
|
|
"Scrolling on my phone until my eyes bleed.",
|
|
"Seeing my Professor on PornHub.",
|
|
"Self-pity.",
|
|
"Selling a kidney to pay for a doctor's appointment.",
|
|
"Selling my used underwear on Craigslist.",
|
|
"Sexting while eating a tuna sandwich.",
|
|
"Shaving appendages.",
|
|
"Shaving eyebrows, drawing new eyebrows on.",
|
|
"Shoplifting, but only from Walmart.",
|
|
"Showering more than once a week.",
|
|
"Shrouding my human frailties with Snapchat puppy filters.",
|
|
"Singing \"Wheels On The Bus\" 31 times.",
|
|
"Sitting on someone's face.",
|
|
"Sleeping as deeply as God did during the Holocaust.",
|
|
"Sloppy and sensual handshakes.",
|
|
"Small dick energy.",
|
|
"Smoking weed out of various fruits.",
|
|
"Smoking weed with Elon Musk.",
|
|
"Spending all my money on avocado toast.",
|
|
"Spending September to November sleeping with a pumpkin at night.",
|
|
"Staining my t-shirt from sweating while eating.",
|
|
"Stealing Taco Bell hot sauce packets.",
|
|
"Student loans.",
|
|
"Surrounding myself with idiots to feel more mature.",
|
|
"Taco crumbs.",
|
|
"Tagging my ex in memes against their will.",
|
|
"Taking a bath with my dog.",
|
|
"Taking a deep breath, going for a walk, and never coming back.",
|
|
"Taking an unrequested vow of celibacy.",
|
|
"Taking the high road when I really want to punch you in the face.",
|
|
"Talking smack about everything I see.",
|
|
"Talking to myself.",
|
|
"Teaching a Baby Boomer to internet.",
|
|
"Ted Cruz's warm, trustworthy smile.",
|
|
"Telling friends I'm \"working on a screenplay\".",
|
|
"The Impossible Burger.",
|
|
"The next Great Recession.",
|
|
"The President's mushroomy genitals.",
|
|
"The Second Amendment.",
|
|
"The smell of pussy.",
|
|
"Thinking a stomach ache might be cancer.",
|
|
"Throwing expired greens in the trash.",
|
|
"Tide pods.",
|
|
"Training crows to collect change.",
|
|
"Trying to figure out how the fuck I hurt my back.",
|
|
"Trying to make it as a SoundCloud rapper.",
|
|
"Underachieving.",
|
|
"Unfollowing people in real life.",
|
|
"Upcycling my DivaCup.",
|
|
"Using food stamps on steak and lobster.",
|
|
"Using insults on the internet that I'd never dream of saying out loud.",
|
|
"Using internet slang that's been out of date for five months now.",
|
|
"Vaginal weightlifting.",
|
|
"Vanilla lattes.",
|
|
"Vomiting in my best friend's hair.",
|
|
"Voting got a thrid-party.",
|
|
"Waiting for the apocalypse to run its course.",
|
|
"Washing dishes and sobbing.",
|
|
"Watching my mom's mind unravel as she folds laundry.",
|
|
"Watching yoga and eating cookies.",
|
|
"Wearing a hazmat suit to wash the dishes.",
|
|
"Wearing a necklace above my enormous breast implants.",
|
|
"Wearing matching outfits with my cat.",
|
|
"Wearing matching socks.",
|
|
"Wearing the same clothes for a week.",
|
|
"Weed stores.",
|
|
"Winning.",
|
|
"Witty comebacks.",
|
|
"Wondering why everyone's farts smell bad except mine.",
|
|
"A 9/11 truther.",
|
|
"A baby daddy.",
|
|
"A basic bitch.",
|
|
"A bloodthirsty Arab.",
|
|
"A butterface.",
|
|
"A Christian Science scientist.",
|
|
"A counselor at gay rehabilitation camp.",
|
|
"A door-to-door Bible salesman.",
|
|
"A fancy suit made out of human skin.",
|
|
"A gay-for-pay pornstar.",
|
|
"A handjob that feels like sandpaper.",
|
|
"A Hooters® waitress.",
|
|
"A human toilet.",
|
|
"A jizz mopper at the local smut theater.",
|
|
"A male feminist.",
|
|
"A man born with two vaginas.",
|
|
"A men's rights activist.",
|
|
"A millenial.",
|
|
"A Nigerian prince.",
|
|
"A paranoid schizophrenic",
|
|
"A pervert.",
|
|
"A rad dude with long hair.",
|
|
"A renegade cop with a talking car for a partner.",
|
|
"A Russian mail-order bride.",
|
|
"A section 8 tenant.",
|
|
"A shirtless Channing Tatum poster.",
|
|
"A sugar daddy.",
|
|
"A Wall Street fat cat.",
|
|
"Accidentally sending Mom a dick pic.",
|
|
"ALF.",
|
|
"An anchor baby.",
|
|
"Attending the funeral of a fallen homie.",
|
|
"Bernie Sanders.",
|
|
"Bombing an abortion clinic.",
|
|
"Bringing democracy to faraway lands.",
|
|
"Chatting with lonely, bored and desperately horny housewives on Ashley Madison®.",
|
|
"Cheating with the 16-year-old babysitter.",
|
|
"Choking on a hippo dick.",
|
|
"Chugging down a bucket of giraffe cum.",
|
|
"Curb-stomping some fool.",
|
|
"Daddies big disappointment.",
|
|
"Dirty Dancing.",
|
|
"Doctor Mengele.",
|
|
"Dodging alimony payments.",
|
|
"Double-crossing the Mob.",
|
|
"Dropping the soap in the prison shower, on purpose.",
|
|
"Eating the umbilical cord of a newborn.",
|
|
"Fat Elvis.",
|
|
"Floating aimlessly through life.",
|
|
"Fluffing on an underground, German bestiality porn set.",
|
|
"Fucking the delivery guy instead of simply giving him a tip.",
|
|
"Full-on socialism.",
|
|
"Gary Busey's drinking problem.",
|
|
"Getting high on bath salts and eating someone's face off.",
|
|
"Getting pooped on and laughed at.",
|
|
"Getting slapped in the face by multiple dicks.",
|
|
"Giving birth to a stillborn.",
|
|
"Giving out free shit to everyone.",
|
|
"Going on a bloody killing spree.",
|
|
"Grinding on a greasy stripper pole.",
|
|
"Howling at the moon.",
|
|
"Inbreeding.",
|
|
"Jewbacka, Chewbacca's rich Hollywood uncle.",
|
|
"Kanye talking about himself.",
|
|
"Kim Davis.",
|
|
"Livin' the thug life.",
|
|
"Living in a car.",
|
|
"Making obscene amounts of money.",
|
|
"Micheal J. Fox performing open-heart surgery.",
|
|
"Microwaving a cat.",
|
|
"Motorboating Katy Perry.",
|
|
"My bad boy image.",
|
|
"My confusing sexuality.",
|
|
"My gold-digging wife.",
|
|
"My high school bully.",
|
|
"My one black friend.",
|
|
"One of those hot teachers that has sex with her underage students.",
|
|
"Papa Smurf.",
|
|
"Peaceful Islam.",
|
|
"Pimp-slapping a hoe.",
|
|
"Purposely sending Mom a dick pick.",
|
|
"Rachel Maddow's boyish charm.",
|
|
"Receiving the death sentence.",
|
|
"Refusing to marry the gays.",
|
|
"Saying \"eh\" and \"aboot\" every other word.",
|
|
"Selling drugs to sixth graders.",
|
|
"Shoving a straw through someone's eyeball and sucking their soul out.",
|
|
"Soliciting sex from an undercover cop in drag.",
|
|
"Spreading Christianity by force.",
|
|
"Stealing my best friend's boyfriend.",
|
|
"That crazy Baldwin brother.",
|
|
"The creepy family friend who fondled my buttocks as a child.",
|
|
"The donkey that chewed off my daughter's arm.",
|
|
"The Grand Wizard of the KKK.",
|
|
"The Jewish conspiracies all around us.",
|
|
"The leader of Boko Haram.",
|
|
"The mailman that conceived me.",
|
|
"The Reverend Al Sharpton.",
|
|
"The star quarterback.",
|
|
"The target in a bukkake video.",
|
|
"The toothless, destitute gentleman who gave me AIDS.",
|
|
"The unidentifiable human remains in my refrigerator.",
|
|
"The void my dad left behind when he abandoned us.",
|
|
"The whimpering cries for mercy from a conquered enemy.",
|
|
"Travelling back in time and hooking up with Young Mom.",
|
|
"Turning into animals and impregnating women.",
|
|
"Twerking in a Speedo®.",
|
|
"Wearing a headscarf so as not to piss off Allah.",
|
|
"Wearing a short skirt without any panties.",
|
|
"A bigger bang for your buck.",
|
|
"A broken hymen.",
|
|
"A filthy hobo.",
|
|
"A group of chronic Masturbators.",
|
|
"A harmless white lie.",
|
|
"A large group of consenting adults.",
|
|
"A midlife crisis.",
|
|
"A one-night stand.",
|
|
"A shit of biblical proportions.",
|
|
"A strained groin.",
|
|
"A taste of your own medicine.",
|
|
"A three-way with the Olsen Twins.",
|
|
"A trophy wife.",
|
|
"A vagina so big there's an echo.",
|
|
"A victimless crime.",
|
|
"Absolutely fuck all.",
|
|
"An 80/20 nipple to boob ratio.",
|
|
"An Anne Frank sex doll that doesn't make a sound.",
|
|
"An uncomfortable silence.",
|
|
"Anal prolapse.",
|
|
"Awkward blowjobs.",
|
|
"Being fingered next to the swings.",
|
|
"Being raped in prison.",
|
|
"Being the bigger man.",
|
|
"Bi-curious George.",
|
|
"Biting the pillow.",
|
|
"Bringing shame on your family.",
|
|
"Choosing to be gay.",
|
|
"Cleverly disguising yourself as a responsible adult.",
|
|
"Crotch kicks.",
|
|
"Crotch rot.",
|
|
"Crotchless panties.",
|
|
"Doggy style.",
|
|
"Dying a little more each day on the inside",
|
|
"Dying in childbirth.",
|
|
"Euthanasia.",
|
|
"Excessive leg hair.",
|
|
"Feeling emasculated by the words \"is it in yet?\"",
|
|
"Finding your cousin frustratingly attractive.",
|
|
"Finger stuff.",
|
|
"Getting kinky with your pinky.",
|
|
"Getting laid.",
|
|
"Girls with small hands.",
|
|
"Hand to gland combat.",
|
|
"Human werewolf syndrome.",
|
|
"Industrial strength laxatives.",
|
|
"Inserting one's finger into the vestibule of the vagina.",
|
|
"Kleenex®.",
|
|
"Mediocrity.",
|
|
"My internet search history.",
|
|
"My rod of justice.",
|
|
"Our little secret.",
|
|
"Paying a dominatrix for 'the cheese grater' experience.",
|
|
"Penis puppetry.",
|
|
"Playing with your bearded clam.",
|
|
"Poontang.",
|
|
"Post-sex funk.",
|
|
"Reaping what you sow.",
|
|
"Rimjobs.",
|
|
"Rubbing one out.",
|
|
"Scarlett Johansson.",
|
|
"Sexy kids.",
|
|
"Shit happens.",
|
|
"Single mom Barbie.",
|
|
"Smashing the back doors in.",
|
|
"Something fishy.",
|
|
"Space docking.",
|
|
"Tantric yoga.",
|
|
"The acrid smell of a burning child.",
|
|
"The African myth that sex with a virgin can cure AIDS.",
|
|
"The dance without pants.",
|
|
"The fickle finger of fate.",
|
|
"The God particle.",
|
|
"The Holocaust.",
|
|
"The internal moral debate on whether it's OK to sleep with your stepsister.",
|
|
"The money shot.",
|
|
"The old beaver cleaver.",
|
|
"The Special People's Games.",
|
|
"The superhuman strength of retards.",
|
|
"Titties in my face.",
|
|
"Trying the taste of you own, somewhat cloudy semen.",
|
|
"Unorthodox sexual positions.",
|
|
"Unprotected sex.",
|
|
"Using the scratch and sniff method to identify mysterious stains.",
|
|
"Vaginal flatulence.",
|
|
"Wandering in the desert.",
|
|
"When something turns you off so much that your vagina throws up.",
|
|
"12,000 ants.",
|
|
"A drink called The Bill Cosby; I could tell you what's in it but you won't remember in the morning.",
|
|
"A gang-bang with angry smurfs.",
|
|
"A gluten-free pizza that tastes like the cardboard box it came in.",
|
|
"A puppet show of the holocaust.",
|
|
"A sexually active Toyota Prius.",
|
|
"A skankosaurus.",
|
|
"Being friend zoned by a blow-up sex doll.",
|
|
"Darth Vader ass fucking Leia while yelling \"Who's Your Daddy\"?",
|
|
"Finding a socially acceptable outlet for your nymphomania.",
|
|
"Generic grape soda so awful you swear it's Barney cum.",
|
|
"Hobbit porn starring Dildo backends.",
|
|
"Muslim with a backpack.",
|
|
"Scouting for porn stars at a high school graduation.",
|
|
"Surprise Funeral.",
|
|
"The blood crusted slime of a used anal bead.",
|
|
"The chunky blue water in an airplane toilet.",
|
|
"The leftover cocaine from the time Charlie Sheen partied with those Asian hookers.",
|
|
"Weighing yourself, then popping a big butt zit, and then weighing yourself again.",
|
|
"White supremacists who refuse to eat brown M&Ms.",
|
|
"Yoda's weird little green penis.",
|
|
"Your gynecologist, who now performs pap smears with a 24 inch two-headed dildo.",
|
|
"A black guy in a white neighborhood.",
|
|
"A busload of racist frat boys from Oklahoma.",
|
|
"A case of the Mondays.",
|
|
"A complimentary prostate exam.",
|
|
"A customer with literally a million questions.",
|
|
"A cute, little old Asian lady trying to fight a lobster.",
|
|
"A good ol' fashioned game of \"Is It Racist?\"",
|
|
"A latex bodysuit with a genital opening.",
|
|
"A magical cupboard that brings sex toys to life.",
|
|
"A mouth for hire.",
|
|
"A naked old man in a sauna.",
|
|
"A strange and vaguely predatory attempt at friendship.",
|
|
"A water balloon filled with buffalo sauce.",
|
|
"A whiter, tighter vagina.",
|
|
"Alcohol-fueled Thanksgiving Day family fistfights.",
|
|
"An actual elephant in the room.",
|
|
"An oddly specific round of \"Never Have I Ever.\"",
|
|
"Being gay in Russia.",
|
|
"Being majestic as fuck.",
|
|
"Being one day away from retirement in an '80s cop movie.",
|
|
"Being the caboose of a train.",
|
|
"Being the prettiest girl at the truck stop.",
|
|
"Billions of taxpayer dollars.",
|
|
"Borrowing someone's liver.",
|
|
"Cannot answer. Too drunk.",
|
|
"Dakota Fanning.",
|
|
"Dorothy using the Scarecrow as firewood.",
|
|
"Dr. Faggot.",
|
|
"Dropping a penny in a Jewish neighborhood.",
|
|
"Eating the banana peel.",
|
|
"Eliminating the party crashers by any means necessary.",
|
|
"Eye-fucking someone from across the room a little too hard.",
|
|
"Forgetting to say \"No homo.\"",
|
|
"Fucking a blender.",
|
|
"Getting away with mass murder because you're a Christian.",
|
|
"Getting dumped by your left hand.",
|
|
"Getting spanked with a wooden spoon by Gordon Ramsay.",
|
|
"Getting the clap so many times it's basically applause.",
|
|
"Gonorrhea that was totally worth it.",
|
|
"Googling yourself.",
|
|
"Hardcore cuddling.",
|
|
"Having break-up sex by yourself.",
|
|
"Hitler, Stalin, the whole crew.",
|
|
"Inverted controls.",
|
|
"Kim Jong-un's stupid fucking haircut.",
|
|
"Making friends with that one weird white kid, just in case.",
|
|
"Masked strangers who knock on the door in the middle of the night.",
|
|
"Mighty Morphine Power Rangers.",
|
|
"Muscles you didn't even know you had.",
|
|
"Not fitting in.",
|
|
"OD'ing on placebos.",
|
|
"Organic cocaine.",
|
|
"Playing by the rules.",
|
|
"Proposing to your long-term girlfriend with a Ring Pop.",
|
|
"Punching them in the face with a hammer.",
|
|
"Realizing you're doomed to a life of mediocrity.",
|
|
"Rosa Parks calling shotgun.",
|
|
"Setting fat kids on fire to burn calories.",
|
|
"Sitting back and watching a blind man slowly walk off a cliff.",
|
|
"Special gloves.",
|
|
"Spelling dirty words while playing Scrabble with your kids.",
|
|
"Tainting the communion wafers with LSD.",
|
|
"Taking a nice drive .... through a playground.",
|
|
"Taking one look at your new baby, then shoving it back in.",
|
|
"That one fucking dead pixel in the middle of the screen.",
|
|
"That thing where you and a stranger keep blocking each other on the sidewalk while trying to pass.",
|
|
"The $19.99 Do-It-Yourself White Trash Wedding.",
|
|
"The element of surprise.",
|
|
"The Incident.",
|
|
"The inescapable anxiety that comes once you've run out of reasons to procrastinate.",
|
|
"The one that got away.",
|
|
"The regret that instantly follows paying $9.99 for pay-per-view porn.",
|
|
"Topless anime girls wearing cute panties.",
|
|
"Training your younger, better-looking replacement.",
|
|
"Unfathomable girth.",
|
|
"Watching TV with Mom and Dad when a sex scene comes on.",
|
|
"Watching your last dollar get ripped in half by the vending machine.",
|
|
"Whatever the kids are into these days.",
|
|
"Your sad little naked body.",
|
|
"1.2 pounds of shit hitting a fan.",
|
|
"A 15-minute time-out in the Naughty Corner.",
|
|
"A bottle of orphan tears.",
|
|
"A sea lion engaged in a knife fight with a regular seal.",
|
|
"A small boy raping a priest.",
|
|
"A trail of rose pedals that leads to a sink full of dirty dishes.",
|
|
"A very intimate Scoutmaster.",
|
|
"A waterfall of period blood.",
|
|
"A white van full of puppies and candy.",
|
|
"Adopting stray toddlers.",
|
|
"Banging your doppleganger.",
|
|
"Barking and chasing a mailman as a full-grown adult.",
|
|
"Beating a hipster.",
|
|
"Becoming a cop to shoot black people for sport.",
|
|
"Being forever chased by your shadow.",
|
|
"Black lives matter.",
|
|
"Black meat.",
|
|
"Breaking your foot off in someone's ass.",
|
|
"Bursting out laughing during a sexual harassment seminar.",
|
|
"Catching your tit in the car door.",
|
|
"Clubbing a baby seal.",
|
|
"Directing your parents' sex tape.",
|
|
"Eating C4 because you want to go out with \"a bang.\"",
|
|
"Explaining the rug burns on your 7-year-old daughter's forehead to the preacher.",
|
|
"Flying an RC plane into a tall person as \"practice.\"",
|
|
"Fondling some balls.",
|
|
"Freeing all the animals at the pet store.",
|
|
"Giving someone a \"love tap\" with your car at 90 mph.",
|
|
"Going into the LYS for one set of needles and coming out with $200 worth of yarn.",
|
|
"Happy pills.",
|
|
"Hating gays because they're \"weird\" but liking lesbians because they're \"sexy.\"",
|
|
"Having a little too much fun.",
|
|
"Having more hair on your balls that on your head.",
|
|
"Having more Oscars than Leonardo DiCaprio.",
|
|
"Having sloppy sex as your dog watches.",
|
|
"Holocaust: The Musical.",
|
|
"Huffing paint.",
|
|
"Just being, like, really fucking ugly.",
|
|
"JUST DO IT!",
|
|
"Lacking a soul because you're a ginger.",
|
|
"Loud Spanish yelling.",
|
|
"Making eye contact with a stranger while eating a banana.",
|
|
"My big white van full of chloroformed children.",
|
|
"My Magnum™ condom.",
|
|
"Nuns with nice buns.",
|
|
"Old white men dancing to \"Hotline Bling\" by Drake.",
|
|
"Orphans genetically engineered to explode when loved.",
|
|
"Playing Jenga on 9/11.",
|
|
"Porkin' Miss Piggy.",
|
|
"Pre-teen girls that dress like whores.",
|
|
"Pretending you are a wizard all the time.",
|
|
"Pushing a double amputee down a flight of stairs.",
|
|
"Putting sperm in the soap dispenser.",
|
|
"Replacing someone's birth control pills with tic tacs®.",
|
|
"Riding with Ray Rice in an elevator.",
|
|
"Selling your baby during Black Friday.",
|
|
"Sex noises echoing from a tennis match.",
|
|
"Shot putting a 12-pound metal ball into a crowd and making it look like an accident.",
|
|
"Stimulating her economy.",
|
|
"Switching your diabetic friend's insulin with heroin.",
|
|
"Taking a joyride ... through a playground.",
|
|
"Terabytes of porn.",
|
|
"That \"O\" face.",
|
|
"That awkward moment when you realize your three-way has no vagina.",
|
|
"That black guy that always dies first in the movies.",
|
|
"That chick I was really into in high school that now has two kids and a waistline the size of Idaho.",
|
|
"The crushing realization that your hopes and dreams are just that, and that real life is horrible.",
|
|
"The people of Walmart.",
|
|
"The terrifying sex moans of a deaf woman.",
|
|
"The wrong hole.",
|
|
"Three in the pink, two in the stink.",
|
|
"Using a middle school water fountain as a bidet.",
|
|
"Using a taser to make your child stop crying.",
|
|
"Using little children as human shields.",
|
|
"\"Hello Mister!\"",
|
|
"$1.25 per day",
|
|
"100 foreskins in a bucket",
|
|
"A bad blood-to-stool ratio",
|
|
"A bottomless pit of need",
|
|
"A career in contract compliance",
|
|
"A Celebrity Deathmatch between Jeff Sachs and Bill Easterly",
|
|
"A child's unwashed hands",
|
|
"A fire drill in the Ronald Reagan Building",
|
|
"A gift of live chickens and a stalk of plantains",
|
|
"A hand job from a monkey",
|
|
"A loan shark in micro lender's clothing",
|
|
"A market-driven approach",
|
|
"A one-way feedback loop",
|
|
"A photogenic child with flies and a distended belly",
|
|
"A really solid shit",
|
|
"A research grant to find evidence that evidence-based research for policy makers is used by policy makers to make evidence-based policy",
|
|
"A sinking boat full of brown people",
|
|
"A vial of Bono's tears",
|
|
"A white SUV",
|
|
"A year's salary from the Shuttleworth Foundation to do whatever the fuck you want",
|
|
"Actually giving a shit",
|
|
"An educated angry African",
|
|
"An external drive full of ripped TV shows",
|
|
"An iPhone at the bottom of a pit latrine",
|
|
"An unpronounceable acronym",
|
|
"An updated, well-organized spreadsheet",
|
|
"Asian ass",
|
|
"Avoiding missionaries",
|
|
"Ayn Rand",
|
|
"Being a gay Mormon in Uganda",
|
|
"Beyonic's cashless utopia",
|
|
"Bicycle-powered water pumps pedaled by malnourished 8-year-olds",
|
|
"Bleeding-heart humanitarianism",
|
|
"Bombing in the name of freedom",
|
|
"Brain parasites as a behavior change methodology",
|
|
"Bribes paid in M-PESA",
|
|
"Bribing the local ethics review board",
|
|
"Bush meat",
|
|
"Carefully curating a social media presence to look cool",
|
|
"China!",
|
|
"Coming to terms with the fact that your intervention is the problem",
|
|
"Contracting AIDS from a cute rebel leader",
|
|
"Dennis Rodman diplomacy",
|
|
"Diplomatic pouch privileges",
|
|
"Disneyland Darfur",
|
|
"Disruptive Innovation",
|
|
"Ebola juices",
|
|
"Ending peace and harmony by introducing democracy and elections",
|
|
"Explaining tat Chad is a country, not a person",
|
|
"Fecal sludge",
|
|
"Feeling superior to tourists for knowing how to say more than \"thank you\" in the local language",
|
|
"George Clooney's wife",
|
|
"Getting high with indigenous communities",
|
|
"Getting upgraded to business class",
|
|
"Getting your vibrator confiscated a the airport",
|
|
"Giardia burps",
|
|
"Gin o'clock",
|
|
"Giving a damn about genocide",
|
|
"Giving AIDS to prostitutes",
|
|
"Giving up any hope of a stable relationship",
|
|
"GIZ",
|
|
"Going blind from local moonshine",
|
|
"Going local",
|
|
"Growing a beard and waving a Kalashnikov",
|
|
"Hanging up and pretending you ran out of mobile credit",
|
|
"Helpies - selfies to brag about helping",
|
|
"His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular",
|
|
"Hoarding the only two squares of toilet paper left",
|
|
"Humanitarians of Tinder",
|
|
"Hypocrisy",
|
|
"In the bush",
|
|
"In-kind donations of hookers and coke",
|
|
"Indigenous alcohol",
|
|
"Ineffective cascaded training",
|
|
"Interrupting the fecal-oral cycle",
|
|
"ISIL's YouTube channel",
|
|
"Learning to poop in a Ziploc bag",
|
|
"Marrying local",
|
|
"Measuring time as an indicator",
|
|
"Microloans to start a brothel",
|
|
"Mid-Upper Arm Circumference",
|
|
"Missing 1K status by 500 miles",
|
|
"Monsanto.org",
|
|
"My well-hung Senegalese boyfriend",
|
|
"My white in shining armor",
|
|
"Nepotism",
|
|
"Organizational restructuring",
|
|
"Orphanage tourism",
|
|
"Per diems",
|
|
"Phase 17: Establish local ownership",
|
|
"Pleasing the donor at any cost",
|
|
"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder",
|
|
"Poverty porn",
|
|
"Propagating heinous American stereotypes",
|
|
"Puking into the shower while sitting on the toilet",
|
|
"Real-time data collection",
|
|
"Reserving DFID funds for the abortions",
|
|
"Saving Africa one adoption at a time",
|
|
"Seahawks Super Bowl XLIX Championship t-shirts",
|
|
"Sean Penn's Glock",
|
|
"Secret Service hookers",
|
|
"Secretly celebrating when disasters occurs because you don't have to live in your parent's basement anymore",
|
|
"Sexpats",
|
|
"Sexy UNHAS flight attendants",
|
|
"Shagging in a flak jacket",
|
|
"Sharts",
|
|
"Shooting Cecil the lion",
|
|
"Skype sex with a bad Internet connection",
|
|
"Sleeping with your supervisors",
|
|
"Sobbing while your host family eats your dog for dinner",
|
|
"Somali pirates",
|
|
"Struggling with the fact that without child labor, there'd be no cocoa",
|
|
"Sushi in a landlocked country",
|
|
"Sustainability",
|
|
"T-shirts!",
|
|
"T.I.A.",
|
|
"Talking about food security over caviar and fine wine",
|
|
"Tea breaks",
|
|
"That time the UN recognized Palestine",
|
|
"The bloodshot eyes of a boy soldier",
|
|
"The British",
|
|
"The dysentery diet",
|
|
"The economic vacuum left by a UN peacekeeping mission close down",
|
|
"The eternal tension between prostitution and entrepreneurship",
|
|
"The fourth cup of tea",
|
|
"The girl-child",
|
|
"The one honest Nigerian official",
|
|
"The resource curse",
|
|
"The satisfaction that comes with finding the closest workshop venue outside the capitol that qualifies for per diems",
|
|
"The sex worker value chain",
|
|
"The smug sense of self-satisfaction",
|
|
"The sudden realization that your theory of change is a crock of shit",
|
|
"The third gender",
|
|
"The warm embrace of malaria",
|
|
"The White Maasai",
|
|
"The White Savior Complex",
|
|
"Three large sheep",
|
|
"Tragically single middle-aged women",
|
|
"Turning human waste into clean energy",
|
|
"Two guys with AK-47s",
|
|
"Ugali",
|
|
"Ushahidi",
|
|
"Using fake polio vaccines to find Osama bin Laden",
|
|
"Value for money",
|
|
"Vandalizing a Mandela statue",
|
|
"Village hooch",
|
|
"Village justice",
|
|
"Voluntourism",
|
|
"Whispering under your breath that the US is not the center of the world",
|
|
"Women dancing and clapping for an arriving fleet of Land Cruisers",
|
|
"A box with magazines containing strong pornography.",
|
|
"A Canadian tuxedo.",
|
|
"A Diet Coke that tastes like balls are in it.",
|
|
"A fridge festooned with nude photos of every family member.",
|
|
"A good old-fashioned skullfucking.",
|
|
"A hilarious failed suicide attempt.",
|
|
"A Holocaust blooper reel.",
|
|
"A horny hive mind.",
|
|
"A male figure skater with a massive bulge.",
|
|
"A monkey fucking a coconut.",
|
|
"A negative HIV test bought on Amazon.",
|
|
"A Norwegian-style sweater with a cute reindeer swastika pattern.",
|
|
"A sprinkle of the finest crystal meth on the eyeballs.",
|
|
"A toothless hooker.",
|
|
"A touching moment between a wealthy old woman and her Mexican gardener.",
|
|
"A water pistol loaded with LSD.",
|
|
"All this weed I found.",
|
|
"An acute heroin addiction.",
|
|
"Another goddamn virus from surfing questionable porn.",
|
|
"Anyone that isn't me.",
|
|
"Asking your best friend to hold your cock at the urinal so you can keep watching funny cat videos.",
|
|
"Being bullied by a small child.",
|
|
"Being one bad motherfucker.",
|
|
"Beliebiers.",
|
|
"Bottomless mimosas.",
|
|
"Bringing five thousand $1 bills to a seventh-grade beauty pageant.",
|
|
"Britney Spears circa 2007.",
|
|
"Building a wall and making the Mexicans pay for it.",
|
|
"Cajuns.",
|
|
"Capitalism.",
|
|
"Chanting \"heritage, not hate\" as you hang several black men from trees.",
|
|
"CHICKENFUCKER!",
|
|
"Coffee so black that it starts picking cotton.",
|
|
"Doing karate in the garage.",
|
|
"Donald Trump's third nipple.",
|
|
"Dried-up pulverized spunk.",
|
|
"Dropping warheads on foreheads.",
|
|
"Elton John's sunglass collection.",
|
|
"Falling and not being able to get back up.",
|
|
"Getting really high with your pet dog.",
|
|
"Giving a coat hanger as a gift at a baby shower.",
|
|
"Going to Hell.",
|
|
"Harajuku Girl prostitutes.",
|
|
"Having a pulse and being fuckable.",
|
|
"I refuse to dignify that with a response.",
|
|
"Ignorance and self-righteousness.",
|
|
"Insulting Santa Claus.",
|
|
"Justin Timberlake's cornrows.",
|
|
"Killing a prostitute to get the money back.",
|
|
"Killing someone.",
|
|
"Kurt Cobain's shotgun.",
|
|
"LOUD NOISES!",
|
|
"Making Helen Keller moan so loudly, even she can hear it.",
|
|
"No comment.",
|
|
"Oh, God, why?",
|
|
"Pulling a Mulan.",
|
|
"Rape being perfectly acceptable as long as it was enjoyed by everyone.",
|
|
"Resting your balls on the dining room table.",
|
|
"Rubbing Oprah's belly until it falls asleep.",
|
|
"Screaming at a deaf child.",
|
|
"Sexy sport tops.",
|
|
"Shooting amateur porn at the retirement home.",
|
|
"Slapping strangers in the face with a porterhouse steak.",
|
|
"Smelly cat, smelly cat.",
|
|
"Some band you've never heard of.",
|
|
"Steve Buscemi and Rebel Wilson's love child.",
|
|
"Sucking on an elf's surprisingly large candy cane.",
|
|
"Taking a dump in a ball pit.",
|
|
"Thanks, Obama!",
|
|
"The alpha male.",
|
|
"The awkwardness of third wheels.",
|
|
"The last US citizen who is not disturbingly obese.",
|
|
"The Pillsbury Doughboy blowing his load all over a toaster strudel.",
|
|
"The pure shock of finding out your daughter is pregnant ... and the baby is yours.",
|
|
"Umbilical-cord handcuffs.",
|
|
"Voting for Trump.",
|
|
"William Shatner speaking fluently.",
|
|
"Being afraid of the word sex.",
|
|
"Being at every daily Mass.",
|
|
"Being married for 50 years.",
|
|
"Being obessed with board games.",
|
|
"Being raised up on eagles wings.",
|
|
"Bringing my parents back to Mass.",
|
|
"Calling my body a Cathedral.",
|
|
"Catholic Feminism.",
|
|
"Clericalism.",
|
|
"Complaining.",
|
|
"Dancing in the forest and playing in the fields.",
|
|
"Dating strictly for marriage.",
|
|
"Felt Joy Joy Joy banners.",
|
|
"Having an eligible daughter.",
|
|
"Having carpel tunnel from too many Rosaries.",
|
|
"Living in an old rectory with other singles.",
|
|
"Not wanting the \"Catholic\" label.",
|
|
"Overpaying for a youth ministry degree.",
|
|
"Parades for Our Lady.",
|
|
"Playing irrelevant songs at Christmas Mass.",
|
|
"Praying with my hands in the air (like I just don't care).",
|
|
"Singing Salve Regina as a lullaby.",
|
|
"Starting another apostolate.",
|
|
"Starting fights with other Catholics.",
|
|
"Starting the collection during the Consecration.",
|
|
"Taking liberties in the liturgy.",
|
|
"Televangelists.",
|
|
"The incredible lack of eligible men.",
|
|
"The sacristan that knows where everything is.",
|
|
"Thiniking the Latin Mass is outdated.",
|
|
"Thinking I am so profound.",
|
|
"Thinking the Novus Ordo is invalid.",
|
|
"Traveling to Jerusalem.",
|
|
"Vlogging.",
|
|
"Watching the Mass on TV.",
|
|
"100 wheelchair-bound children rolling around in the back of a C-5.",
|
|
"A 2 EPR that was truly deserved.",
|
|
"A big empty plane with no seats and a bucket to shit in.",
|
|
"A big fat OPSEC fail.",
|
|
"A break in service.",
|
|
"A bucket of prop wash.",
|
|
"A contractor who is so badass that he grows a beard and tells war stories.",
|
|
"A court-martial for stealing panties and then trying to hide the evidence by eating all of them.",
|
|
"A decomposing Airman found inside a dorm wall locker.",
|
|
"A delightful old woman at an airport USO.",
|
|
"A DFAC entree covered in cockroach eggs and curly black hairs.",
|
|
"A disgsutingly fat National Guardsman wearing a wrinkled, mustard-stained uniform.",
|
|
"A DITY move in an old covered wagon.",
|
|
"A dorm bathroom haunted by jizz demons and spooge spirits of amsturbations past.",
|
|
"A finance clerk telling you to take your complaint and shove it right up your ass.",
|
|
"A former Hooters waitress who's now a 2nd Lt.",
|
|
"A hangar filled with bird shit.",
|
|
"A hardcore PT session of Duck, Duck, Goose.",
|
|
"A hideously deformed Iraqi teenager winking at you with his one good eye.",
|
|
"A Human Weapon System.",
|
|
"A JTAC with a terrible stutter.",
|
|
"A lieutenant defending their stupid ideas like they're Billy-fucking-Mitchell!",
|
|
"A lubed-up Jimmy Doolittle pushing a naked President Roosevelt through the White House Rose Garden.",
|
|
"A malfunctioning fuel truck spraying an ejaculating bull elephant.",
|
|
"A MEPS adventure that ends with old man breath on the back of your nutsack.",
|
|
"A military working dog eating its handler.",
|
|
"A MSgt who still uses Myspace.",
|
|
"A Nuclear Deterrence Operations Service Medal that somehow gives your worthless life meaning.",
|
|
"A nuclear warhead hidden inside a short bus full of special needs children.",
|
|
"A promotion system based on explicit sexual favors.",
|
|
"A rainbow flag morale patch.",
|
|
"A retired general making money off the same Air Force he failed.",
|
|
"A retiree dragging his balls across the base gym's locker room.",
|
|
"A Rite in the Rain® notebook filled with doodles and angsty teen poems.",
|
|
"A running track that's a dick's length too long.",
|
|
"A shit-hot flight line cop.",
|
|
"A shop chief who you wouldn't mind violently murdering.",
|
|
"A shortage of fighter pilots.",
|
|
"A six month vacation to the Third World.",
|
|
"A sketch landing.",
|
|
"A smooth-talking WWII Vet scoring some sweet nursing home trim.",
|
|
"A super dead Airman.",
|
|
"A White Rope running their fingers through a Catholic Chaplain's coarse gray pubes.",
|
|
"A Wing Commander stealing breast milk from the pumping room's fridge and then dousing himself in dat sweet titty juice.",
|
|
"A ZJ from a PJ.",
|
|
"AAFES, those classy mother fuckers.",
|
|
"ABU fabric purses that are equal parts shame and embarrassment.",
|
|
"Abusing the system more than it abuses you.",
|
|
"Academy grads.",
|
|
"Accusing an instructor of mansplaining.",
|
|
"Accusing fellow Airmen of stealing all of your jerk-off goblins.",
|
|
"Aiming high.",
|
|
"Air Force Jesus.",
|
|
"Air Force-branded selfie sticks.",
|
|
"Airborne frickin' lasers!",
|
|
"Aircraft of the future!",
|
|
"Airmen of races much different from your own.",
|
|
"All the additional duties I have.",
|
|
"An A1C charging Mess Dress purchases to their Star Card.",
|
|
"An Ammo Troop with strange, incurable STDs.",
|
|
"An armless pilot.",
|
|
"An autistic cyber warrior with Doritos®-stained hands fucking an anime pillow in the supply closet.",
|
|
"An HIV epidemic rapidly spreading throughout the dorms.",
|
|
"An interracial command team.",
|
|
"An ISIS unit ball where the goats are all prettied up in little goat dresses.",
|
|
"An Outlook® inbox filled with Chinese spear phishing emails and group BBQ reminders.",
|
|
"An overweight A1C who's just existing.",
|
|
"Another deployment to Behead-istan.",
|
|
"Another John Q Public rant.",
|
|
"Another pointless meeting where the commander sticks his head in between his legs and kisses his own ass.",
|
|
"Anti-brown people munitions.",
|
|
"Assuming a bird strike is just that plane's time of the month.",
|
|
"Autoerotic hypoxia.",
|
|
"Averaging one marriage per enlistment.",
|
|
"Bailing out the Army with some clit-hardening CAS.",
|
|
"Barkatraz.",
|
|
"Base housing swinger parties.",
|
|
"Base-wide \"fun runs\" that are as slow as old people screwing.",
|
|
"Being \"Air Force Cool.\"",
|
|
"Being the Red Dot.",
|
|
"Being triggered by poetry years after resistance training.",
|
|
"Betraying the American people's trust.",
|
|
"Big Blue.",
|
|
"Bird strikes.",
|
|
"Blowing kisses to a mongoloid chow hall worker.",
|
|
"Boots the color of baby diarrhea.",
|
|
"Breastfeeding in uniform.",
|
|
"Bring your Butterbar to Work Day.",
|
|
"Bringing back Tops in Blue.",
|
|
"Bullshitting your way through yet another PHA.",
|
|
"Butt stuff in exchange for orders.",
|
|
"CAOC fuck fests.",
|
|
"Captain Baggadix.",
|
|
"Charging lap dances and boner pills to a Government Travel Card.",
|
|
"Checkride beers.",
|
|
"Chuck Yeager's 75 lb. testicles.",
|
|
"Commander's Call.",
|
|
"Commissioned officers.",
|
|
"Crashing a GOV and then just walking away.",
|
|
"Crew rest.",
|
|
"CUMSEC.",
|
|
"Curtis LeMay totally wrecking Airmen with his big cigar.",
|
|
"Deflecting fuckery with your DD 214.",
|
|
"Defrauding the government bigly.",
|
|
"Dirty dorm sponges.",
|
|
"Discharging dishonorably.",
|
|
"Doing stupid shit because a general is visiting the squadron.",
|
|
"Double reflective belts!",
|
|
"Dying in line at the VA.",
|
|
"Dyslexic, atheist pilots who don't nelieve in dog fights.",
|
|
"Ejecting.",
|
|
"Eloping with your MTL after their court-martial.",
|
|
"EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE!",
|
|
"Expedient mid-shift sex in a cocked B-52 crew bunk.",
|
|
"Exploding an Afghan hospital because WHOOOPS!",
|
|
"Fat shaming Soldiers.",
|
|
"Feeling a hint of guilt for thinking Nazi uniforms looked cool.",
|
|
"Fiery death at an air show.",
|
|
"Flagging the range with a MK 19.",
|
|
"Flight line drive-by staredowns.",
|
|
"Flying a desk and absolutely loving it!",
|
|
"Flying Under the Influence.",
|
|
"Fraud, waste, abuse, repeat.",
|
|
"Fucking Nonners.",
|
|
"Fuel savings iniatives that don't make no got-damn sense!",
|
|
"Gaining rank one ass smooch at a time.",
|
|
"Getting eaten out by a fighter pilot.",
|
|
"Getting fucked to death by a four-star general.",
|
|
"Giving zero fucks about the Middle East.",
|
|
"Good Kill.",
|
|
"Gorging yourself onn cabbage and meats right before the altitude chamber.",
|
|
"Green Dot.",
|
|
"Guard Mount!!!",
|
|
"Hardcore fraternization.",
|
|
"Hating piggybackers.",
|
|
"Hating stupid pilot culture because it's stupid and you hate it.",
|
|
"Having acronyms for your acronyms (HAFYA).",
|
|
"Having all the planes!",
|
|
"Honoring C-130 heritage by shitting in front of 30 paratroopers.",
|
|
"Horny young Airman.",
|
|
"How an Airman grows up to be big and strong.",
|
|
"I fly the M16.",
|
|
"IEDs, mortar fire, and other dumb things that make your booty hole pucker.",
|
|
"Jamming a CAC into a slot.",
|
|
"Knocking up multiple Airmen.",
|
|
"Lackland funk.",
|
|
"Leading by email.",
|
|
"Leaving an Airman so, so far behind.",
|
|
"Lietenants.",
|
|
"Loading 10,000 learnin' books onto a B-52 and dropping them over Alabama.",
|
|
"Lobster Night... because we're not in one of those peasant branches.",
|
|
"Locking your knees.",
|
|
"Maintainer debauchery.",
|
|
"Making a Black Power fist mid-promotion.",
|
|
"Med Bros and Med Hoes screwing up your ASIMS.",
|
|
"Mentorshit.",
|
|
"Military bearing of the highest caliber!",
|
|
"Millennial Airmen.",
|
|
"Misplaced Air Force assets.",
|
|
"Missileers.",
|
|
"Mmmmmmm, dat CAS!",
|
|
"Motrin® addiction.",
|
|
"Mutually Assured Destruction, dude!",
|
|
"Naked gunner hugs.",
|
|
"Naming everything to sound way more high speed that it actually is.",
|
|
"Newly incorporated kamikaze tactics.",
|
|
"No Hope Pope.",
|
|
"Non-combat deaths.",
|
|
"Non-commissioned officers.",
|
|
"North Korean military aircraft.",
|
|
"Not Mission Capable.",
|
|
"Offering to fuck away people's PTSD.",
|
|
"Operation Enduring Semen.",
|
|
"Ordnance.",
|
|
"Overdue training.",
|
|
"Pages intentionally left blank.",
|
|
"Parachute cord wrapped around a penis.",
|
|
"Pausing some steamy dorm romance mid-stroke when Taps starts playing.",
|
|
"Physically abusing dependents because you're a drunk piece of shit.",
|
|
"Pilot hair.",
|
|
"Pilot Retention.",
|
|
"Pilot selfies.",
|
|
"Pilots wearing Aviators and flying with their hands.",
|
|
"Pilots whining like pre-teens.",
|
|
"Please delete me from this distro.",
|
|
"Pointy Heads.",
|
|
"Pooping on the flight line and then scooping the turd into your hand and throwing it into a spinning prop.",
|
|
"Precision guided mooooo-nitions.",
|
|
"Predictable \"Chair Force\" jokes.",
|
|
"Promoting so hard.",
|
|
"Proudly displaying your dirty reflective belt and line badge at the BX.",
|
|
"Putting the \"cock\" in cockpit.",
|
|
"Quietly fingerbanging a fishy trainee.",
|
|
"Random conversations at the smoke pit.",
|
|
"Re-enlisting with a hopeful smile.",
|
|
"Recruiters sexting underage high school students.",
|
|
"Referring to stolen valor as being \"trans-veteran.\"",
|
|
"Riding in a shopping cart with your arms stretched out to the side while screaming \"MAKE WAY I'M A JET PLANE, MOTHER FUCKER!\"",
|
|
"ROTC Cadets who deserve all of the ass beatings.",
|
|
"Roughing it in the field in a 3-star hotel.",
|
|
"RPA operators with PTSD.",
|
|
"Salty Airmen.",
|
|
"Saluting Academy Cadets.",
|
|
"Saluting with your right hand then saluting with your left hand then Nazi saluting into a backflip.",
|
|
"Sarin gas attacks and other things that don't end goodly.",
|
|
"Sawing an Airman in half during a USO magic show gone terribly wrong.",
|
|
"Scheduling a bunch of medical appointments because fuck it.",
|
|
"Security Forces, the window lickers of the Air Force.",
|
|
"Sending a chimpanzee into G-LOC during f-35 training.",
|
|
"SERE instructors and the psychological scars their children bear.",
|
|
"Shift supervisors and the faces they sit on.",
|
|
"Shooting up some good heroin in a bathroom stall at the Pentagon.",
|
|
"Shouitng \"What goes TDY, stays TDY!\" right before making a terrible decision.",
|
|
"Showering leadership with undue praise and affection.",
|
|
"Showing up to Red Flag like it's Gangs of New York.",
|
|
"Signing your life away.",
|
|
"Single-handedly ruining my Air Force.",
|
|
"Sitting alert.",
|
|
"Situational unawareness.",
|
|
"Skipping out on funeral detail.",
|
|
"Smoking pot in uniform.",
|
|
"Sneaking a burner phone into the WSA for the sole purpose of sending nudes.",
|
|
"Snoozin' in the guard tower.",
|
|
"Soaring above the clouds.",
|
|
"Space warriors.",
|
|
"Spaghetti spilling out of your uniform's pockets.",
|
|
"Spending half of an enlistment in a training squadron.",
|
|
"Spoiled commissary meats.",
|
|
"Squadron culture.",
|
|
"Standing on your T.O. instead of using a ladder.",
|
|
"Strafing an Afghan shepherd and his sad, sickly goats.",
|
|
"Stray dogs running wild through base housing, barking at minorities and shitting everywhere!",
|
|
"Subduing an officer using only the gentle touch of feminine hands.",
|
|
"Taking out an insurance policy on the lieutenant.",
|
|
"Team building activities that overwhelm you with embarrassment.",
|
|
"That one weirdo who interservice transferred to the Army.",
|
|
"The Air Force Academy forcing Jesus down your throat.",
|
|
"The Air Force Combat Action Medal.",
|
|
"The Air Force: where \"Death by PowerPoint®\" is a service-connected disability rating.",
|
|
"The Air Force's stupid logo.",
|
|
"The Airman's Creed.",
|
|
"The alien prostitutes at Area 51.",
|
|
"The BUFF.",
|
|
"The Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force impregnating Miss Teen America.",
|
|
"The entirely unrealistic expectations of the Air Force.",
|
|
"The Good Idea Fairy.",
|
|
"The legendary Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird... but why it gotta be black, though?!?",
|
|
"The Lieutenants Protection Association.",
|
|
"The Lowest Price Technically Acceptable.",
|
|
"The many ways DFAS will anal sex you.",
|
|
"The Minuteman III ICBM, which is the same size as your grandmother's dildo.",
|
|
"The model airplane you sleep with at night.",
|
|
"The morale that's currently missing.",
|
|
"The National Anthem, but with air horns, porn moans, and armpit fart noises.",
|
|
"The needs of the Air Force.",
|
|
"The Secretary of Offense.",
|
|
"The sexiest service branch.",
|
|
"The Sheppard Shuffle.",
|
|
"The smell of pilot dick on your breath.",
|
|
"The stinky kid in tech school.",
|
|
"The Tuskegee Airmen's big black dicks.",
|
|
"The two weeks of low self-esteem that follows a BX haircut.",
|
|
"The United States Air Force Academy.",
|
|
"The United States Air Force.",
|
|
"The wind beneath my wings.",
|
|
"Thinking B-2 pilots are cool guys who bomb peoples and doesn't afraid of anything.",
|
|
"Those fucking nerds over at NORAD tracking Santa and shit.",
|
|
"Throwing a brick through the window of your local finance office.",
|
|
"Transgender integration training.",
|
|
"Treating grown adults like children.",
|
|
"Treating urinalysis like a strip tease.",
|
|
"TRICARE-covered euthanasia.",
|
|
"Trolling for dick at the Maintenance Professional of the Year.",
|
|
"Two Cadets holding hands and gleefully skipping down a hallway.",
|
|
"Two Hajis poorly disguised as a camel.",
|
|
"Two meaty pork swords in a Lackland porta-potty.",
|
|
"Two pilots 69'ing in a cockpit.",
|
|
"Unclear instructions.",
|
|
"Unleashing the MOAB on a terrorist training camp and making things go KABOOM!",
|
|
"Uploading dick pics to your unit's SharePoint®.",
|
|
"Using a curly straw to snort some blow off the Chief of Staff's war dong.",
|
|
"Using hurtful langauage that triggers co-workers and make the whole Air Force cry.",
|
|
"Using survival training hypothermia as an excuse to spoon.",
|
|
"Volunteering against your will.",
|
|
"Vomiting down the front of a flight suit.",
|
|
"Wacky plane noises.",
|
|
"Wearing Blues under your Klan robe.",
|
|
"Wearing morale shirts against your will.",
|
|
"Whipping out your CAC.",
|
|
"Whistlin' old timey slave hymns while maintaining aircraft.",
|
|
"White dudes with shaving waivers.",
|
|
"Wingmen.",
|
|
"Working 0800-1500.",
|
|
"Working with Army mouth breathers.",
|
|
"Your Command Chief's slutty teen daughter.",
|
|
"\"Tweeting.\"",
|
|
"(I am doing Kegels right now.)",
|
|
"10,000 Syrian refugees.",
|
|
"100% Pure New Zealand.",
|
|
"2 Girls 1 Cup.",
|
|
"400 years of colonial atrocities.",
|
|
"50 mg of Zoloft daily.",
|
|
"50,000 volts straight to the nipples.",
|
|
"72 virgins.",
|
|
"8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.",
|
|
"A bag of magic beans.",
|
|
"A balanced breakfast.",
|
|
"A ball of earwax, semen, and toenail clippings.",
|
|
"A big black dick.",
|
|
"A big hoopla about nothing.",
|
|
"A bird that shits human turds.",
|
|
"A bitch slap.",
|
|
"A bleached arsehole.",
|
|
"A bleached asshole.",
|
|
"A Bop It™.",
|
|
"A bowl of mayonnaise and human teeth.",
|
|
"A brain tumor.",
|
|
"A can of whoop-ass.",
|
|
"A caress of the inner thigh.",
|
|
"A cartoon camel enjoying the smooth, refreshing taste of a cigarette.",
|
|
"A cat with... hands.",
|
|
"A Chinese tourist who wants something very badly but cannot communicate it.",
|
|
"A clandestine butt scratch.",
|
|
"A cooler full of organs.",
|
|
"A copy of Bedside Hitler.",
|
|
"A crucifixion.",
|
|
"A cute, fuzzy koala, but it has chlamydia.",
|
|
"A death ray.",
|
|
"A defective condom.",
|
|
"A despondent Maple Leafs fan sitting all alone.",
|
|
"A didgeridildo.",
|
|
"A disappointing birthday party.",
|
|
"A drive-by shooting.",
|
|
"A fair go.",
|
|
"A falcon with a cap on its head.",
|
|
"A fanny fart.",
|
|
"A fart so powerful that it wakes the giants from their thousand-year slumber.",
|
|
"A fat bald man from the internet.",
|
|
"A fetus.",
|
|
"A five-litre goon bag.",
|
|
"A Fleshlight.",
|
|
"A Fleshlight®.",
|
|
"A foetus.",
|
|
"A foul mouth.",
|
|
"A fuck-ton of almonds.",
|
|
"A fuck-tonne of almonds.",
|
|
"A gassy antelope.",
|
|
"A gentle caress of the inner thigh.",
|
|
"A ginger's freckled ballsack.",
|
|
"A good sniff.",
|
|
"A gossamer stream of jizz that catches the light as it arcs through the morning air.",
|
|
"A grande sugar-free iced soy caramel macchiato.",
|
|
"A Gypsy curse.",
|
|
"A hairless little shitstain named Callou.",
|
|
"A Halal Snack Pack.",
|
|
"A hen night in Slough.",
|
|
"A homoerotic volleyball montage.",
|
|
"A horde of Vikings.",
|
|
"A hot mess.",
|
|
"A Japanese tourist who wants something very badly but cannot communicate it.",
|
|
"A Japanese whaling operation.",
|
|
"A LAN party.",
|
|
"A lifetime of sadness.",
|
|
"A literal tornado of fire.",
|
|
"A little boy who won't shut the fuck up about dinosaurs.",
|
|
"A live studio audience.",
|
|
"A look-see.",
|
|
"A low standard of living.",
|
|
"A mad cow.",
|
|
"A madman who lives in a police box and kidnaps women.",
|
|
"A man of means by no means.",
|
|
"A man on the brink of orgasm.",
|
|
"A mating display.",
|
|
"A Mexican.",
|
|
"A micropenis.",
|
|
"A middle-aged man on roller skates.",
|
|
"A mime having a stroke.",
|
|
"A moment of silence.",
|
|
"A monkey smoking a cigar.",
|
|
"A mopey zoo lion.",
|
|
"A much younger woman.",
|
|
"A murder most foul.",
|
|
"A neglected Tamagotchi™.",
|
|
"A pangender octopus who roams the cosmos in search of love.",
|
|
"A pineapple with chlamydia.",
|
|
"A posh wank.",
|
|
"A prayer bouquet.",
|
|
"A pyramid of severed heads.",
|
|
"A really cool hat.",
|
|
"A robust mongoloid.",
|
|
"A sad god with a shit-covered pair of nipples.",
|
|
"A sad handjob.",
|
|
"A salad for men that's made of metal.",
|
|
"A salty surprise.",
|
|
"A sassy black woman.",
|
|
"A sausage festival.",
|
|
"A sea of troubles.",
|
|
"A shark!",
|
|
"A sick burnout.",
|
|
"A sick wombat.",
|
|
"A sickly child-king.",
|
|
"A six-point plan to stop the boats.",
|
|
"A slab of VB and a pack of durries.",
|
|
"A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.",
|
|
"A sober Irishman who doesn't care for potatoes.",
|
|
"A soggy Sao.",
|
|
"A spastic nerd.",
|
|
"A stingray barb through the chest.",
|
|
"A stray pube.",
|
|
"A subscription to Men's Fitness.",
|
|
"A Super Soaker™ full of cat pee.",
|
|
"A surprisingly low amount of prison rape.",
|
|
"A thermonuclear detonation.",
|
|
"A thousand Scottish warriors lifting their kilts in unison.",
|
|
"A three-way with my wife and Shaquille O'Neal.",
|
|
"A Tim Hortons franchise.",
|
|
"A time travel paradox.",
|
|
"A tiny horse.",
|
|
"A tiny, gay guitar called a ukulele.",
|
|
"A tribe of warrior women.",
|
|
"A vajazzled vagina.",
|
|
"A vastly superior healthcare system.",
|
|
"A vindaloo poo.",
|
|
"A web of lies.",
|
|
"A wheelchair death race.",
|
|
"A white ethnostate.",
|
|
"A white van man.",
|
|
"A whole thing of butter.",
|
|
"A windmill full of corpses.",
|
|
"A wisecracking terrorist.",
|
|
"A zesty breakfast burrito.",
|
|
"Aaron Burr.",
|
|
"Abstinence.",
|
|
"Academy Award winner Meryl Streep.",
|
|
"Accepting the way things are.",
|
|
"Accidentally slipping yourself a roofie.",
|
|
"Active listening.",
|
|
"Actually taking candy from a baby.",
|
|
"Adderall™.",
|
|
"Adult Friendfinder.",
|
|
"Advice from a wise, old black man.",
|
|
"African children.",
|
|
"Agriculture.",
|
|
"AIDS.",
|
|
"Alcohol poisoning.",
|
|
"Alcoholism.",
|
|
"Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.",
|
|
"All four prongs of an echidna's penis.",
|
|
"All my gentleman suitors.",
|
|
"all pants are half off today",
|
|
"All the dudes I've fucked.",
|
|
"All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.",
|
|
"All-you-can-eat shrimp for $8.99.",
|
|
"Altar boys.",
|
|
"America.",
|
|
"American Gladiators.",
|
|
"Americanization.",
|
|
"Amputees.",
|
|
"An AK-47 assault rifle.",
|
|
"An AK-47.",
|
|
"An AR-15 assault rifle.",
|
|
"An argument with Richard Dawkins.",
|
|
"An Army of smack heads with HIV infected needles.",
|
|
"An ass like two football helmets.",
|
|
"An asymmetric boob job.",
|
|
"An endless stream of diarrhea.",
|
|
"An endless stream of diarrhoea.",
|
|
"An entrenched class system.",
|
|
"An Evening with Michael Buble.",
|
|
"An evil man in evil clothes.",
|
|
"An honest cop with nothing left to lose.",
|
|
"An icepick lobotomy.",
|
|
"An icy handjob from an Edmonton hooker.",
|
|
"An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.",
|
|
"An M16 assault rifle.",
|
|
"An octopus giving seven handjobs and smoking a cigarette.",
|
|
"An Oedipus complex.",
|
|
"An old guy who's almost dead.",
|
|
"An older woman who knows her way around the penis.",
|
|
"An oversized lollipop.",
|
|
"An ugly face.",
|
|
"An unsurprising rash.",
|
|
"An unwanted pregnancy.",
|
|
"An uppercut.",
|
|
"Announcing that I am about to cum.",
|
|
"Another goddamn vampire movie.",
|
|
"Anything that comes out of Prince Philip's mouth.",
|
|
"Apologizing.",
|
|
"Asians who aren't good at math.",
|
|
"Assless chaps.",
|
|
"Attitude.",
|
|
"Auschwitz.",
|
|
"Australia.",
|
|
"Autocannibalism.",
|
|
"AXE Body Spray.",
|
|
"Badger culling.",
|
|
"Ball-by-ball commentary from Richie Benaud.",
|
|
"Bananas in Pajamas.",
|
|
"Bananas.",
|
|
"Barack Obama.",
|
|
"Barely making $25,000 a year.",
|
|
"Basic trainees.",
|
|
"BATMAN!",
|
|
"BATMAN!!!",
|
|
"Becoming a blueberry.",
|
|
"Bees?",
|
|
"Being a busy adult with many important things to do.",
|
|
"Being a dick to children.",
|
|
"Being a hideous beast that no one could love.",
|
|
"Being a motherfucking sorcerer.",
|
|
"Being a woman.",
|
|
"Being able to talk to elephants.",
|
|
"Being back-to-back World War Champions!",
|
|
"Being black.",
|
|
"Being Canadian.",
|
|
"Being fabulous.",
|
|
"Being fat and stupid.",
|
|
"Being hunted like a fox.",
|
|
"Being marginalised.",
|
|
"Being marginalized.",
|
|
"Being on fire.",
|
|
"Being rich.",
|
|
"Being white.",
|
|
"Benedict Cumberbatch.",
|
|
"Bestiality.",
|
|
"Bill Nye the Science Guy.",
|
|
"Bingeing and purging.",
|
|
"Bio-engineered assault turtles with acid breath.",
|
|
"Bitches.",
|
|
"Black people.",
|
|
"Bling.",
|
|
"Blood fisting",
|
|
"Blood, toil, tears, and sweat.",
|
|
"Blowing my boyfriend so hard he shits.",
|
|
"Blowing up Parliament.",
|
|
"Boat people; half boat, half human.",
|
|
"Bond, James Bond.",
|
|
"Bono.",
|
|
"Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars.",
|
|
"Boogers.",
|
|
"Bosnian chicken farmers.",
|
|
"Braiding three penises into a Curly Wurly.",
|
|
"Braiding three penises into a licorice twist.",
|
|
"Braiding three penises into a Twizzler.",
|
|
"Breaking out into song and dance.",
|
|
"Brexit.",
|
|
"Britney Spears at 55.",
|
|
"Brown people.",
|
|
"Bubble butt bottom boys.",
|
|
"Buckfast Tonic Wine.",
|
|
"Bullshitting my ass off.",
|
|
"Buying the right toothbrush cup for my lifestyle.",
|
|
"Canada: America's Hat.",
|
|
"Canadian Netflix.",
|
|
"Canned tuna with extra dolphin.",
|
|
"Capturing Newt Gingrich and forcing him to dance in a monkey suit.",
|
|
"Cardi B.",
|
|
"Cards Against Humanity.",
|
|
"Cashed-up bogans.",
|
|
"Casually suggesting a threesome.",
|
|
"Catapults.",
|
|
"Centaurs.",
|
|
"Chainsaws for hands.",
|
|
"Charisma.",
|
|
"Cheating in the Paralympics.",
|
|
"Cheating in the Special Olympics.",
|
|
"Cheeky bum sex.",
|
|
"Chemical weapons.",
|
|
"Child abuse.",
|
|
"Children on leashes.",
|
|
"Chivalry.",
|
|
"Christopher Walken.",
|
|
"Chundering into a kangaroo's pouch.",
|
|
"Chunks of dead backpacker.",
|
|
"Chunks of dead hitchhiker.",
|
|
"Chunks of dead prostitute.",
|
|
"Chutzpah.",
|
|
"Civilian casualties.",
|
|
"Classist undertones.",
|
|
"Clive Palmer's soft, shitty body.",
|
|
"Clubbing baby seals.",
|
|
"Coat hanger abortions.",
|
|
"Cockasaurus rex: the horniest dinosaur of them all.",
|
|
"Cockfights.",
|
|
"College.",
|
|
"Committing suicide.",
|
|
"Completely unwarranted confidence.",
|
|
"Concealing a boner.",
|
|
"Concealing an erection.",
|
|
"Consensual sex.",
|
|
"Consultants.",
|
|
"Contagious face cancer.",
|
|
"Converting to Islam.",
|
|
"Cookie Monster devouring the Eucharist wafers.",
|
|
"Copping a feel.",
|
|
"Cottaging.",
|
|
"Count Chocula.",
|
|
"Court-ordered rehab.",
|
|
"Covering myself with Parmesan cheese and chili flakes because I am pizza.",
|
|
"Crazy hot cousin sex.",
|
|
"Creed.",
|
|
"Crippling debt.",
|
|
"Crucifixion.",
|
|
"Crumbs all over the bloody carpet.",
|
|
"Crumbs all over the god damn carpet.",
|
|
"Crumpets with the Queen.",
|
|
"Crystal meth.",
|
|
"Cuddling.",
|
|
"Cumming deep inside my best bro.",
|
|
"Customer service representatives.",
|
|
"Cybernetic enhancements.",
|
|
"Dad's funny balls.",
|
|
"Daddies Brown Sauce",
|
|
"Daddies® Brown Sauce.",
|
|
"Daddy issues.",
|
|
"Daddy's credit card.",
|
|
"Daniel Radcliffe's delicious arsehole.",
|
|
"Daniel Radcliffe's delicious asshole.",
|
|
"Dark and mysterious forces beyond our control.",
|
|
"Darth Vader.",
|
|
"Date rape.",
|
|
"Dave Matthews Band.",
|
|
"David Bowie flying in on a tiger made of lightning.",
|
|
"David Cameron.",
|
|
"Dead babies.",
|
|
"Dead parents.",
|
|
"Deflowering the princess.",
|
|
"Dental dams.",
|
|
"Denying sex to play video games.",
|
|
"Destroying the evidence.",
|
|
"Dick Cheney.",
|
|
"Dick fingers.",
|
|
"Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of Friends.",
|
|
"Dirty nappies.",
|
|
"Disco Inferno.",
|
|
"Diversity.",
|
|
"Dogging.",
|
|
"Doin' it in the butt.",
|
|
"Doing a shit in Pudsey Bear's eyehole.",
|
|
"Doing crimes.",
|
|
"Doing it in the butt.",
|
|
"Doing the right thing.",
|
|
"Domino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza.",
|
|
"Don Cherry's wardrobe.",
|
|
"Donald J. Trump.",
|
|
"Donald Trump's deleted tweets.",
|
|
"Double rainbows.",
|
|
"Douchebags on their iPhones.",
|
|
"Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.",
|
|
"Drinking alone.",
|
|
"Drinking out of the toilet and eating garbage.",
|
|
"Drinking out of the toilet and eating rubbish.",
|
|
"Dropping a baby down the dunny.",
|
|
"Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.",
|
|
"Drowning the kids in the bathtub.",
|
|
"Druids.",
|
|
"Drum circles.",
|
|
"Dry heaving.",
|
|
"Dwarf tossing.",
|
|
"Dwayne \"The Rock\" Johnson.",
|
|
"Dying but miraculously getting brought back to life.",
|
|
"Dying.",
|
|
"Eastern European Turbo-Folk music.",
|
|
"Eating a hard boiled egg out of my husband's arsehole.",
|
|
"Eating a hard boiled egg out of my husband's asshole.",
|
|
"Eating an albino.",
|
|
"Eating the last known bison.",
|
|
"Eating too much of a lamp.",
|
|
"Ecstasy.",
|
|
"Ed Balls.",
|
|
"Edible underpants.",
|
|
"Edible underwear.",
|
|
"Egging an MP.",
|
|
"Elderly Japanese men.",
|
|
"Electricity.",
|
|
"Embryonic stem cells.",
|
|
"Emerging from the sea and rampaging through Tokyo.",
|
|
"Emma Watson.",
|
|
"Emotions.",
|
|
"England.",
|
|
"Erectile dysfunction.",
|
|
"Establishing dominance.",
|
|
"Eternal awesomeness.",
|
|
"Ethnic cleansing.",
|
|
"Eugenics.",
|
|
"Euphoria™ by Calvin Klein.",
|
|
"Exactly what you'd expect.",
|
|
"Excalibur.",
|
|
"Exchanging pleasantries.",
|
|
"Executing a hostage every hour.",
|
|
"Existentialists.",
|
|
"Exorcism.",
|
|
"Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.",
|
|
"Explaining how vaginas work.",
|
|
"Explosions.",
|
|
"Extremely tight jeans.",
|
|
"Extremely tight pants.",
|
|
"Extremely tight trousers.",
|
|
"Facebook.",
|
|
"Fading away into nothingness.",
|
|
"Faffing about.",
|
|
"Faith healing.",
|
|
"Fake tits.",
|
|
"FALCON PUNCH!!!",
|
|
"Famine.",
|
|
"Fancy Feast®.",
|
|
"Farting and walking away.",
|
|
"Farting into your petticoats and wafting it at Lord Gregory.",
|
|
"Fear itself.",
|
|
"Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.",
|
|
"Fiery poops.",
|
|
"Figgy pudding.",
|
|
"Filling my briefcase with business stuff.",
|
|
"Filling my son with spaghetti.",
|
|
"Filling Sean Hannity with helium and watching him float away.",
|
|
"Finger painting.",
|
|
"Fingering.",
|
|
"Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.",
|
|
"Five litres of Special Brew.",
|
|
"Five-Dollar Footlongs™.",
|
|
"Flash flooding.",
|
|
"Flavored condoms.",
|
|
"Flesh-eating bacteria.",
|
|
"Flightless birds.",
|
|
"Flying sex snakes.",
|
|
"Forced sterilisation.",
|
|
"Forced sterilization.",
|
|
"Foreskin.",
|
|
"Forgetting the Alamo.",
|
|
"Former President George W. Bush.",
|
|
"Four Loko.",
|
|
"Fragile masculinity.",
|
|
"Free samples.",
|
|
"Friction.",
|
|
"Friendly fire.",
|
|
"Friends who eat all the snacks.",
|
|
"Friends with benefits.",
|
|
"Frolicking.",
|
|
"Front butt.",
|
|
"Fucking my sister.",
|
|
"Fucking the weatherman on live television.",
|
|
"Funky fresh rhymes.",
|
|
"Gandalf.",
|
|
"Gandhi.",
|
|
"Garth Brooks.",
|
|
"Gary Coleman.",
|
|
"Gary Glitter.",
|
|
"Gay animals.",
|
|
"Gay conversion therapy.",
|
|
"Geese.",
|
|
"Genetically engineered super-soldiers.",
|
|
"Genghis Khan.",
|
|
"Genital piercings.",
|
|
"Gentleman's Relish®.",
|
|
"Genuine human connection.",
|
|
"German Chancellor Angela Merkel.",
|
|
"German dungeon porn.",
|
|
"Germans on holiday.",
|
|
"Getting a DUI on a Zamboni.",
|
|
"Getting crushed by a vending machine.",
|
|
"Getting cummed on.",
|
|
"Getting drugs off the street and into my body.",
|
|
"Getting drunk on mouthwash.",
|
|
"Getting fingered.",
|
|
"Getting into a pretty bad car accident.",
|
|
"Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying.",
|
|
"Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Queensland, and dying.",
|
|
"Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to the south of France, and dying.",
|
|
"Getting naked and watching CBeebies.",
|
|
"Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.",
|
|
"Getting naked and watching Play School.",
|
|
"Getting pregnant again.",
|
|
"Getting really high.",
|
|
"Getting so angry that you pop a stiffy.",
|
|
"Getting wed, having a few kids, taking some pictures, retiring to the south of France, and dying.",
|
|
"Ghosts.",
|
|
"Girls who shouldn't go wild.",
|
|
"Girls.",
|
|
"Giving 110%.",
|
|
"Giving birth to the Antichrist.",
|
|
"Gladiatorial combat.",
|
|
"Glassing a wanker.",
|
|
"Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards.",
|
|
"Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook.",
|
|
"Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts.",
|
|
"Glenn Beck.",
|
|
"Gloryholes.",
|
|
"Goats eating cans.",
|
|
"Goblins.",
|
|
"God.",
|
|
"GoGurt®.",
|
|
"Going an entire day without masturbating.",
|
|
"Going around sniffing people's armpits.",
|
|
"Golden showers.",
|
|
"Good-natured, fun-loving Aussie racism.",
|
|
"Grandma.",
|
|
"Grandpa's bald spot.",
|
|
"Grave robbing.",
|
|
"Growing a pair.",
|
|
"Guys who don't call.",
|
|
"Haggis.",
|
|
"Half a kilo of pure China White heroin.",
|
|
"Half-assed foreplay.",
|
|
"Harry Potter erotica.",
|
|
"Have some more kugel.",
|
|
"Having a Golden Gaytime.",
|
|
"Having a penis.",
|
|
"Having a shag in the back of a ute.",
|
|
"Having anuses for eyes.",
|
|
"Having big dreams but no realistic way to achieve them.",
|
|
"Having sex for the first time.",
|
|
"Having sex too soon after giving birth.",
|
|
"Having sex with every man in Winnipeg.",
|
|
"Heartwarming orphans.",
|
|
"Heath Ledger.",
|
|
"Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.",
|
|
"Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.",
|
|
"Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II.",
|
|
"Heritage minutes.",
|
|
"Heroin.",
|
|
"Heteronormativity.",
|
|
"Hillary Clinton's favorite nipple clamps",
|
|
"Hip hop jewels.",
|
|
"Hipsters.",
|
|
"Historically black colleges.",
|
|
"Holding down a child and farting all over him.",
|
|
"Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine®.",
|
|
"Homeless people.",
|
|
"Homo milk.",
|
|
"Hooning.",
|
|
"Hope.",
|
|
"Hormone injections.",
|
|
"Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.",
|
|
"Horse meat.",
|
|
"Hospice care.",
|
|
"Hot cheese.",
|
|
"Hot people.",
|
|
"Hot Pockets®.",
|
|
"How amazing it is to be on mushrooms.",
|
|
"How awesome it is to be white.",
|
|
"How bad my daughter fucked up her dance recital.",
|
|
"How far I can get my own penis up my butt.",
|
|
"How wet my pussy is.",
|
|
"However much weed $20 can buy.",
|
|
"However much weed £20 can buy.",
|
|
"Huffing spray paint.",
|
|
"Huge biceps.",
|
|
"Hulk Hogan.",
|
|
"Hunting \"accidents\".",
|
|
"Hunting accidents.",
|
|
"Hurling one's body down a hill in pursuit of a wheel of cheese.",
|
|
"Hurricane Katrina.",
|
|
"Hurting those closest to me.",
|
|
"I'm friends with your dad on Facebook.",
|
|
"Ice.",
|
|
"Illegal immigrants.",
|
|
"Impotence.",
|
|
"Improvised explosive devices.",
|
|
"Inappropriate yodeling.",
|
|
"Indian burns.",
|
|
"Inserting a jam jar into my anus.",
|
|
"Inserting a Mason jar into my anus.",
|
|
"Intelligent design.",
|
|
"Invading Poland.",
|
|
"Irritable Bowel Syndrome.",
|
|
"Italians.",
|
|
"Itchy pussy.",
|
|
"J.D. Power and his associates.",
|
|
"Jade Goody's cancerous remains.",
|
|
"Jedward.",
|
|
"Jehovah's Witnesses.",
|
|
"Jennifer Lawrence.",
|
|
"Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.",
|
|
"Jesus.",
|
|
"Jew-fros.",
|
|
"Jewish fraternities.",
|
|
"Jews, gypsies, and homosexuals.",
|
|
"Jibber-jabber.",
|
|
"Jimmy Savile.",
|
|
"Jobs.",
|
|
"Joe Biden.",
|
|
"John Howard's eyebrows.",
|
|
"John Wilkes Booth.",
|
|
"Judge Judy.",
|
|
"Judging everyone.",
|
|
"Just touching David Beckham's hair.",
|
|
"Justin Trudeau.",
|
|
"Juuling.",
|
|
"Kanye West.",
|
|
"Keanu Reeves.",
|
|
"Keeping Christ in Christmas.",
|
|
"Kibbles 'n Bits™.",
|
|
"Kibbles n' Bits.",
|
|
"Kids with ass cancer.",
|
|
"Kids with bum cancer.",
|
|
"Kim Jong-un.",
|
|
"Kissing grandma on the forehead and turning off her life support.",
|
|
"Kissing nan on the forehead and turning off her life support.",
|
|
"Knife crime.",
|
|
"Lads.",
|
|
"Lady Gaga.",
|
|
"Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.",
|
|
"Land mines.",
|
|
"Laying an egg.",
|
|
"Leaked footage of Kate Middleton's colonoscopy.",
|
|
"Leaving an awkward voicemail.",
|
|
"Lena Dunham.",
|
|
"Leprosy.",
|
|
"Letting Gemma collins squirt on your face",
|
|
"Letting yourself go.",
|
|
"Leveling up.",
|
|
"Liberals.",
|
|
"Licking things to claim them as your own.",
|
|
"Listening to her problems without trying to solve them.",
|
|
"Literally eating shit.",
|
|
"Little boy penises.",
|
|
"Living in a trash can.",
|
|
"Living in Yellowknife.",
|
|
"Lockjaw.",
|
|
"Lokking for your Dad's porn stash",
|
|
"Looking in the mirror, applying lipstick, and whispering \"tonight, you will have sex with Tom Cruise.\"",
|
|
"Loose lips.",
|
|
"Lumberjack fantasies.",
|
|
"Lunchables™.",
|
|
"LYNX® Body Spray.",
|
|
"Mad cow disease.",
|
|
"Madeleine McCann.",
|
|
"Magnets.",
|
|
"Making a pouty face.",
|
|
"Making sex at her.",
|
|
"Making the penises kiss.",
|
|
"Making up for centuries of oppression with one day of apologising.",
|
|
"Man meat.",
|
|
"Mansplaining.",
|
|
"Many bats.",
|
|
"Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.",
|
|
"Massive, widespread drought.",
|
|
"Masturbating.",
|
|
"Masturbation.",
|
|
"Mathletes.",
|
|
"Maureen of Blackpool, Reader's Wife of the Year 1988.",
|
|
"Me time.",
|
|
"Memes.",
|
|
"Men discussing their feelings in an emotionally healthy way.",
|
|
"Men.",
|
|
"Menstrual rage.",
|
|
"Meth.",
|
|
"Michael Jackson.",
|
|
"Michelle Obama's arms.",
|
|
"Mike Pence.",
|
|
"Miley Cyrus.",
|
|
"Millions of cane toads.",
|
|
"Millwall fans.",
|
|
"Mining accidents.",
|
|
"Mistaking a retarded person for someone who's merely deaf.",
|
|
"Mom.",
|
|
"Moon a Prime Minister.",
|
|
"Moral ambiguity.",
|
|
"More elephant cock than I bargained for.",
|
|
"Morgan Freeman's voice.",
|
|
"Mountain Dew Code Red.",
|
|
"Mouth herpes.",
|
|
"Mr. Clean, right behind you.",
|
|
"Mr. Dressup.",
|
|
"Mr. Snuffleupagus.",
|
|
"Mr. Squiggle, the Man from the Moon.",
|
|
"Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him).",
|
|
"Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him).",
|
|
"multiple personality disorder",
|
|
"Multiple stab wounds.",
|
|
"Murdering our parents.",
|
|
"Mutually assured destruction.",
|
|
"My abusive boyfriend who really isn't so bad once you get to know him.",
|
|
"My balls on your face.",
|
|
"My black ass.",
|
|
"My bright pink fuckhole.",
|
|
"My cheating prick of a husband.",
|
|
"My cheating son-of-a-bitch husband.",
|
|
"My collection of high-tech sex toys.",
|
|
"My ex-wife.",
|
|
"My fat daughter.",
|
|
"My father, who died when I was seven.",
|
|
"My first kiss.",
|
|
"My genitals.",
|
|
"My good bra.",
|
|
"My humps.",
|
|
"My inner demons.",
|
|
"My little boner.",
|
|
"My machete.",
|
|
"My mate Dave.",
|
|
"My neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack.",
|
|
"My relationship status.",
|
|
"My sex life.",
|
|
"My soul.",
|
|
"My Uber driver, Pavel.",
|
|
"My ugly face and bad personality.",
|
|
"Nachos for the table.",
|
|
"Naked News.",
|
|
"Natalie Portman.",
|
|
"Natural male enhancement.",
|
|
"Nazis.",
|
|
"Necrophilia.",
|
|
"New Age music.",
|
|
"Newfies.",
|
|
"Nickelback.",
|
|
"Nicolas Cage.",
|
|
"Nip slips.",
|
|
"Nippers.",
|
|
"Nipple blades.",
|
|
"Nocturnal emissions.",
|
|
"Not giving a shit about the Third World.",
|
|
"Not having silly talk.",
|
|
"Not reciprocating oral sex.",
|
|
"Not vaccinating my children because I am stupid.",
|
|
"Not wearing pants.",
|
|
"Not wearing trousers.",
|
|
"Nothing but sand.",
|
|
"Nunchucks.",
|
|
"Obesity.",
|
|
"Oestrogen.",
|
|
"Old-people smell.",
|
|
"Ominous background music.",
|
|
"One Direction's supple, hairless bodies.",
|
|
"One titty hanging out.",
|
|
"One trillion dollars.",
|
|
"Only dating Asian women.",
|
|
"Oompa-Loompas.",
|
|
"Opposable thumbs.",
|
|
"Our first chimpanzee President.",
|
|
"Our first chimpanzee Prime Minister.",
|
|
"Overcompensation.",
|
|
"Overpowering your father.",
|
|
"Oversized lollipops.",
|
|
"Pabst Blue Ribbon.",
|
|
"Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.",
|
|
"Paedophiles.",
|
|
"Panda sex.",
|
|
"Paris Hilton.",
|
|
"Parting the Red Sea.",
|
|
"Party poopers.",
|
|
"Passable transvestites.",
|
|
"Passing a kidney stone.",
|
|
"Passive-aggression.",
|
|
"Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.",
|
|
"Pauline Hanson.",
|
|
"PCP.",
|
|
"Peanut Butter Jelly Time.",
|
|
"Pedophiles.",
|
|
"Peeing a little bit.",
|
|
"People who smell their own socks.",
|
|
"Perfunctory foreplay.",
|
|
"Permanent Orgasm-Face Disorder.",
|
|
"Picking up girls at the abortion clinic.",
|
|
"Pictures of boobs.",
|
|
"Pikies.",
|
|
"Pingers.",
|
|
"Pixelated bukkake.",
|
|
"Playing silly buggers.",
|
|
"Police brutality.",
|
|
"Polish People.",
|
|
"Pooping back and forth. Forever.",
|
|
"Pooping in a laptop and closing it.",
|
|
"Pooping in the soup.",
|
|
"Poopy diapers.",
|
|
"Poor life choices.",
|
|
"Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.",
|
|
"Popped collars.",
|
|
"Porn stars.",
|
|
"Poutine.",
|
|
"Poverty.",
|
|
"Powerful allergies",
|
|
"Powerful thighs.",
|
|
"Prancing.",
|
|
"Praying the gay away.",
|
|
"Prescription pain killers.",
|
|
"Preteens.",
|
|
"Pretending to care.",
|
|
"Profound respect and appreciation for indigenous culture.",
|
|
"Pronouncing the names of northern Welsh towns.",
|
|
"Prosti-tots.",
|
|
"Pterodactyl eggs.",
|
|
"PTSD.",
|
|
"Puberty.",
|
|
"Public ridicule.",
|
|
"Pumpkin spice flavored condoms.",
|
|
"Punching a congressman in the face.",
|
|
"Punching an MP in the face.",
|
|
"Puppies!",
|
|
"Pussy Galore.",
|
|
"Putting things where they go.",
|
|
"Queefing.",
|
|
"Queen Elizabeth's immaculate anus.",
|
|
"Queuing.",
|
|
"Racially-biased SAT questions.",
|
|
"Radical Islamic terrorism.",
|
|
"Rap music.",
|
|
"Raping and pillaging.",
|
|
"Raptor attacks.",
|
|
"Re-gifting.",
|
|
"Rectangles.",
|
|
"Rehab.",
|
|
"Repression.",
|
|
"Rich people.",
|
|
"Riding off into the sunset.",
|
|
"Ring Pops.",
|
|
"Ring Pops™.",
|
|
"Rip Torn dropkicking anti-Semitic lesbians.",
|
|
"Ripping off the Beatles.",
|
|
"Ripping open a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.",
|
|
"Rising sea levels consistent with scientific predictions.",
|
|
"Road head.",
|
|
"Rob Ford.",
|
|
"Robbing a sperm bank.",
|
|
"Robert Downey Jr.",
|
|
"Robert Downey, Jr.",
|
|
"RoboCop.",
|
|
"Rohypnol.",
|
|
"Roofies.",
|
|
"Rubbing Boris Johnson's belly until he falls asleep.",
|
|
"Running naked through sprinklers.",
|
|
"Running out of semen.",
|
|
"Rupert Murdoch.",
|
|
"Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body.",
|
|
"Ruth Bader Ginsburg brutally gaveling your penis.",
|
|
"Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.",
|
|
"Same-sex ice dancing.",
|
|
"Santa Claus.",
|
|
"Sarah Palin's crazy pills.",
|
|
"Saxophone solos.",
|
|
"Saying \"I love you.\"",
|
|
"Scalping the Milkybar Kid.",
|
|
"Scalping.",
|
|
"Schmirler the Curler.",
|
|
"Science.",
|
|
"Scientology.",
|
|
"Scousers.",
|
|
"Scrotum tickling.",
|
|
"Scrubbing under the folds.",
|
|
"Sean Connery.",
|
|
"Sean Penn.",
|
|
"Seduction.",
|
|
"Seeing Grandma naked.",
|
|
"Seeing Granny naked.",
|
|
"Seeing my father cry.",
|
|
"Seeing what happens when you lock people in a room with hungry seagulls.",
|
|
"Seething with quiet resentment.",
|
|
"Self-folding lundry.",
|
|
"Self-loathing.",
|
|
"Selling crack to children.",
|
|
"Selling ice to children.",
|
|
"Seppuku.",
|
|
"Serfdom.",
|
|
"Seven dead and three in critical condition.",
|
|
"Sex with animals.",
|
|
"Sex with Patrick Stewart.",
|
|
"Sexting.",
|
|
"Sexual humiliation.",
|
|
"Sexual peeing.",
|
|
"Sexual tension.",
|
|
"Sexy pillow fights.",
|
|
"Shaking a baby until it stops crying.",
|
|
"Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.",
|
|
"Sharing needles.",
|
|
"Shiny objects.",
|
|
"Shipping convicts to Australia.",
|
|
"Shitting out a perfect Cumberland sausage.",
|
|
"Shitting out a screaming face.",
|
|
"Shorties and blunts.",
|
|
"Showing up to an orgy for the food.",
|
|
"Shutting up so I can watch the game.",
|
|
"Shutting up so I can watch the match.",
|
|
"Sideboob.",
|
|
"Silence.",
|
|
"Sitting on my face and telling me I'm garbage.",
|
|
"Sitting on my face.",
|
|
"Skeletor.",
|
|
"Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.",
|
|
"Slapping a biscuit out of an orphan's mouth.",
|
|
"Slapping Nigel Farage over and over.",
|
|
"Slaughtering innocent civilians.",
|
|
"Slavs.",
|
|
"Smallpox blankets.",
|
|
"Smegma.",
|
|
"SNES cartridge cleaning fluid.",
|
|
"Sniffing and kissing my feet.",
|
|
"Sniffing glue.",
|
|
"Snotsicles.",
|
|
"Sobbing into a Hungry-Man™ Frozen Dinner.",
|
|
"Soft, kissy missionary sex.",
|
|
"Soiling oneself.",
|
|
"Solving problems with violence.",
|
|
"Somali pirates.",
|
|
"Some bloody peace and quiet.",
|
|
"Some douchebag yelling \"More Cowbell.\"",
|
|
"Some foundation, mascara, and a touch of blush.",
|
|
"Some god damn peace and quiet.",
|
|
"Some guy.",
|
|
"Some kind of bird man.",
|
|
"Some of the best rappers in the game.",
|
|
"Some punk kid who stole my turkey sandwich.",
|
|
"Some really sticky Kentucky Durban.",
|
|
"Sorry, this content cannot be viewed in your region.",
|
|
"Soup that is too hot.",
|
|
"Spaghetti? Again?",
|
|
"Spaniards.",
|
|
"Spectacular abs.",
|
|
"Spending my parent's hard-earned money.",
|
|
"Sperm whales.",
|
|
"Spontaneous human combustion.",
|
|
"Stalin.",
|
|
"Staring at a painting and going \"hmmmmmmm...\"",
|
|
"Stephen Harper.",
|
|
"Stephen Hawking talking dirty.",
|
|
"Steve Bannon.",
|
|
"Steve Irwin.",
|
|
"Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.",
|
|
"Stockholm Syndrome.",
|
|
"Stormtroopers.",
|
|
"Strong female characters.",
|
|
"Stunt doubles.",
|
|
"Substitute teachers.",
|
|
"Sucking some dicks to not get drafted.",
|
|
"Suicidal thoughts.",
|
|
"Summoning Harold Holt from the sea in a time of great need.",
|
|
"Sunshine and rainbows.",
|
|
"Surprise sex!",
|
|
"Swag.",
|
|
"Switching to Geico®.",
|
|
"Swooping.",
|
|
"Synergistic management solutions.",
|
|
"Syrupy sex with a maple tree.",
|
|
"Take-backsies.",
|
|
"Taking a sheep-wife.",
|
|
"Taking off your shirt.",
|
|
"Tap dancing like there's no tomorrow.",
|
|
"Tasteful sideboob.",
|
|
"Teaching a robot to love.",
|
|
"Team building exercises.",
|
|
"Team-building exercises.",
|
|
"Tearing that ass up like wrapping paper on Christmas morning.",
|
|
"Teenage pregnancy.",
|
|
"Telling a shitty story that goes nowhere.",
|
|
"Tentacle porn.",
|
|
"Testicular torsion.",
|
|
"That awkward family who thinks it's \"cybersex Monday.\"",
|
|
"That one gay Teletubby.",
|
|
"That thing that electrocutes your abs.",
|
|
"The American Dream.",
|
|
"The Amish.",
|
|
"The arrival of the pizza.",
|
|
"The art of seduction.",
|
|
"The baby that ruined my pussy.",
|
|
"The Bachelorette season finale.",
|
|
"The Big Bang.",
|
|
"The big fucking hole in the ozone layer.",
|
|
"The Black Death.",
|
|
"The Blood of Christ.",
|
|
"The bloody Welsh.",
|
|
"The bombing of Nagasaki.",
|
|
"The boners of the elderly.",
|
|
"The Boy Scouts of America.",
|
|
"The bush.",
|
|
"The Care Bear Stare.",
|
|
"The Chinese gymnastics team.",
|
|
"The chronic.",
|
|
"The clitoris.",
|
|
"The cool, refreshing taste of Coca-Cola®.",
|
|
"The cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi.",
|
|
"The cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi®.",
|
|
"The Daily Mail.",
|
|
"The Dalai Lama.",
|
|
"The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.",
|
|
"The deformed.",
|
|
"The Donald Trump Seal of Approval.™",
|
|
"The drama club.",
|
|
"The economy.",
|
|
"The EDL.",
|
|
"The end of days.",
|
|
"The entire cast of Downton Abbey.",
|
|
"The entire Mormon Tabernacle Chior.",
|
|
"The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir.",
|
|
"The female orgasm.",
|
|
"The FLQ.",
|
|
"The flute.",
|
|
"The folly of man.",
|
|
"The forbidden fruit.",
|
|
"The Force.",
|
|
"The French.",
|
|
"The gays.",
|
|
"The glass ceiling.",
|
|
"The Great Depression.",
|
|
"The Great Emu War.",
|
|
"The Gulags.",
|
|
"The guys from Queer Eye.",
|
|
"The Hamburglar.",
|
|
"The hardworking Mexican.",
|
|
"The Hemsworth brothers.",
|
|
"The hiccups.",
|
|
"The Hillsborough Disaster.",
|
|
"The Holy Bible.",
|
|
"The homosexual agenda.",
|
|
"The Honey Monster.",
|
|
"The illusion of choice in a late-stage capitalist society.",
|
|
"The inevitable heat death of the universe.",
|
|
"The invisible hand.",
|
|
"The Jews.",
|
|
"The KKK.",
|
|
"The Kool-Aid Man.",
|
|
"The land of chocolate.",
|
|
"The light of a billion suns.",
|
|
"The Little Engine That Could.",
|
|
"The magic of live theatre.",
|
|
"The Make-A-Wish Foundation.",
|
|
"The Make-A-Wish® Foundation.",
|
|
"The milk man.",
|
|
"The miracle of childbirth.",
|
|
"The morbidly obese.",
|
|
"The North.",
|
|
"The Official Languages Act. La Loi sur les langues officielles.",
|
|
"The only gay person in a hundred kilometers.",
|
|
"The only gay person in a hundred miles.",
|
|
"The opioid epidemic.",
|
|
"The past.",
|
|
"The Patriarchy.",
|
|
"The penny whistle solo from \"My Heart Will Go On.\"",
|
|
"The People's Elbow.",
|
|
"The petty troubles of the landed gentry.",
|
|
"The pirate's life.",
|
|
"The placenta.",
|
|
"The plot of a Michael Bay movie.",
|
|
"The profoundly handicapped.",
|
|
"The prunes I've been saving for you in my armpits.",
|
|
"The Rapture.",
|
|
"The Red Hot Chili Peppers.",
|
|
"The Red Menace.",
|
|
"The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.",
|
|
"The rhythms of Africa.",
|
|
"The Royal Canadian Mounted Police.",
|
|
"The Russians.",
|
|
"The Scouts.",
|
|
"The screams...the terrible screams.",
|
|
"The Smell of Primark.",
|
|
"The South.",
|
|
"The Stig.",
|
|
"The Strictly Come Dancing season finale.",
|
|
"The sudden appearance of the Go Compare man.",
|
|
"The Superdome.",
|
|
"The Tempur-Pedic® Swedish Sleep System™.",
|
|
"The terrorists.",
|
|
"The Three-Fifths compromise.",
|
|
"The Three-Fifths Compromise.",
|
|
"The token minority.",
|
|
"The total collapse of the global financial system.",
|
|
"The Trail of Tears.",
|
|
"The true meaning of Christmas.",
|
|
"The Ubermensch.",
|
|
"The Underground Railroad.",
|
|
"The unstoppable tide of Islam.",
|
|
"The violation of our most basic human rights.",
|
|
"The way James Bond treats women.",
|
|
"The White Australia Policy.",
|
|
"The wifi password.",
|
|
"The wonders of the Orient.",
|
|
"The World of Warcraft.",
|
|
"The wrath of Vladimir Putin.",
|
|
"Therapy.",
|
|
"Theresa May.",
|
|
"These hoes.",
|
|
"Third base.",
|
|
"This answer is postmodern.",
|
|
"This month's mass shooting.",
|
|
"This year's mass shooting.",
|
|
"Those times when you get sand in your vagina.",
|
|
"Three dicks at the same time.",
|
|
"Throwing a virgin into a volcano.",
|
|
"Throwing grapes at a man until he loses touch with reality.",
|
|
"Tickle Me Elmo.",
|
|
"Tickle Me Elmo™.",
|
|
"Tickling Sean Hannity, even after he tells you to stop.",
|
|
"Tiger Woods.",
|
|
"Tom Cruise.",
|
|
"Tongueing a balloon knot arsehole",
|
|
"Toni Morrison's vagina.",
|
|
"Tony Abbott in budgie smugglers.",
|
|
"Too much hair gel.",
|
|
"Tories.",
|
|
"Total control of the media.",
|
|
"Touching a pug right on his penis.",
|
|
"Trench foot.",
|
|
"Tripping balls.",
|
|
"Tweeting.",
|
|
"Twenty tonnes of bat shit.",
|
|
"Twinkies®.",
|
|
"Two midgets shitting into a bucket.",
|
|
"Unfathomable stupidity.",
|
|
"Uppercuts.",
|
|
"Used knickers.",
|
|
"Used panties.",
|
|
"Vegemite™.",
|
|
"Vehicular homicide.",
|
|
"Vehicular manslaughter.",
|
|
"Viagra®.",
|
|
"Vigilante justice.",
|
|
"Vikings.",
|
|
"Vladimir Putin.",
|
|
"Vomiting into a kangaroo's pouch.",
|
|
"Vomiting seafood and bleeding anally.",
|
|
"Waiting 'til marriage.",
|
|
"Waiting till marriage.",
|
|
"Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.",
|
|
"Waking up half-naked in a Little Chef car park.",
|
|
"Waking up half-naked in a Macca's car park.",
|
|
"Waking up in Idris Elba's arms.",
|
|
"Walking in on Dad peeing into Mom's mouth.",
|
|
"Wanking into a pool of children's tears.",
|
|
"Waterboarding.",
|
|
"Wear lip gloss on my anus.",
|
|
"Wearing underwear inside out to avoid doing laundry.",
|
|
"Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.",
|
|
"Wet dreams.",
|
|
"What that mouth do.",
|
|
"What's left of the Great Barrier Reef.",
|
|
"When you fart and a little bit comes out.",
|
|
"Whining until you get your way.",
|
|
"Whipping it out.",
|
|
"Whiskas® Catmilk.",
|
|
"White people.",
|
|
"White-man scalps.",
|
|
"Whoever the Prime Minister is these days.",
|
|
"Wifely duties.",
|
|
"Will Smith.",
|
|
"William Shatner.",
|
|
"Winking at old people.",
|
|
"Wiping her bum.",
|
|
"Wiping her butt.",
|
|
"Wizard music.",
|
|
"Women in yoghurt adverts.",
|
|
"Women in yoghurt commercials.",
|
|
"Women of colour.",
|
|
"Women voting.",
|
|
"Women's undies.",
|
|
"Wondering if it's possible to get some of that salsa to go.",
|
|
"Words.",
|
|
"World peace.",
|
|
"Worshipping that pussy.",
|
|
"Xenophobia.",
|
|
"YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.",
|
|
"Your mum.",
|
|
"Your weird brother.",
|
|
"(An) eggplant emoji.",
|
|
"100% All-Beef Thermometer.",
|
|
"8th Grade and Pregnant.",
|
|
"A \"Happy Valentine's Day\" Card from AshleyMadison.com.",
|
|
"A gas station teddy bear.",
|
|
"A sex doll that just wants to be friends.",
|
|
"Abortion Baby Shower.",
|
|
"Accidentally hitching a ride on the bang bus.",
|
|
"Accidentally sexting your mom.",
|
|
"Ashley Madison & Chill.",
|
|
"Awkwardly confessing your love via text.",
|
|
"Bananas, Cucumbers, and Hot Dogs.",
|
|
"Being a sidechick on Valentine's Day.",
|
|
"Bleeding Dick.",
|
|
"Bringing your sidekick to your Valentine's Date.",
|
|
"Buying candy and stuffed animals on sale on February 15th.",
|
|
"Claiming Russell Stover™ as your Valentine.",
|
|
"Clown Fucking.",
|
|
"Congratulating someone on the results of their unprotected sex.",
|
|
"Convoncing your mom to Google \"Lemon Party\".",
|
|
"Dad's used fleshlight.",
|
|
"Dating a senior.",
|
|
"Designated Ugly Fat Friend.",
|
|
"Diaper Fetishes.",
|
|
"Downloading Grindr™ on Valentine's Day to \"check it out\".",
|
|
"Eating an entire box of chocolates.",
|
|
"Fake male orgasms.",
|
|
"Finding your mother's special lingerie...on your dad.",
|
|
"Giving out Valentine handjobs.",
|
|
"Gluten-free edible panties.",
|
|
"Grabbing her by the pussy.",
|
|
"Haivng sex on the display beds at Sears.",
|
|
"Having a surprise baby on November 14th.",
|
|
"Having Maury Povich tell you, \"You are not the father\".",
|
|
"Hearing your dad offer to give your mom his special cream pie.",
|
|
"Helping someone move and finding a giant bag of sex toys.",
|
|
"Inappropriate Valentine's Day cards in your kid's classroom.",
|
|
"Jelly Bean Shits.",
|
|
"Jerking off to Fraggle Rock.",
|
|
"Leaving a sex partner so dissatisfied that you regain your virginity.",
|
|
"Looking at my sister's face under a blacklight.",
|
|
"Losing your v-card on V-Day.",
|
|
"Love Muscle.",
|
|
"Making her squirt farther than a Super Soaker™.",
|
|
"Moms riding motorcycles.",
|
|
"Mr. Happy.",
|
|
"My brother's special sock.",
|
|
"OkCupid™.",
|
|
"Ordering enough Valentine's Day takeout for 2 people to avoid the delivery guy's pity.",
|
|
"Overindulging on gummy bears.",
|
|
"Panties so moist they could drown a beaver.",
|
|
"Placing burning cigarettes in your spouse's purse.",
|
|
"Practicing Cosmopolitan's 50 naughty V-Day moves.",
|
|
"Proposing to your sidechick accidentally.",
|
|
"Ripping out anal beads like you're starting a lawnmower.",
|
|
"Semen-flavored truffles.",
|
|
"Sending yourself flowers.",
|
|
"Seven minutes in heaven.",
|
|
"Single's awareness day.",
|
|
"Stop & Frisk Role-Playing.",
|
|
"Stripper's Clothes.",
|
|
"Surprise Anal.",
|
|
"Switching out Valentines for dog shit.",
|
|
"Tens, Tens, Tens, Twenties on my Twitties.",
|
|
"The desparate girl who wanted to be a mom so bad that she robbed a sperm bank.",
|
|
"The hospital baby swap.",
|
|
"The morning after pill.",
|
|
"Throwing rolls of pennies at strippers.",
|
|
"Trying to take her bra off with one hand.",
|
|
"Turbo thots.",
|
|
"Using a suicide hotline for phone sex.",
|
|
"Valentine's Day, when delivery guys make more than just tips.",
|
|
"Walking in on your sister using your electric toothbrush.",
|
|
"Whitening your teeth with Dad's help.",
|
|
"Your father's porn collection.",
|
|
"A baseball bat vasectomy.",
|
|
"A Bengay handjob.",
|
|
"A gang bang with angry Smurfs.",
|
|
"A half-heated blowjob.",
|
|
"A honey badger in heat.",
|
|
"A packet of Splenda.",
|
|
"A porn parody of the Bible.",
|
|
"A puppet show of the Holocaust.",
|
|
"A really, really mean boss.",
|
|
"A shit at work that's so foul if becomes water cooler talk.",
|
|
"Accidentally masturbating after handling hot peppers.",
|
|
"Actually being a useful member of society.",
|
|
"An empty bottle of Jack and a broken condom.",
|
|
"An imaginary friend with benefits.",
|
|
"An unexpected number of casualties.",
|
|
"Ass clapping.",
|
|
"Beatings by Dre.",
|
|
"Being a virgin and giving birth on Christmas.",
|
|
"Being a white supremacist at a Black Lives Matter rally.",
|
|
"Being dangerously unqualified for your job.",
|
|
"Buying hookers with penises to save on cash.",
|
|
"Calling yourself daddy.",
|
|
"Catching your dick in a zipper.",
|
|
"Choke sex.",
|
|
"COCKPUNCHER!",
|
|
"Coconut water.",
|
|
"Donald Trump drowning in the freshly-poured concrete foundation of a border wall.",
|
|
"Eating the president's pussy.",
|
|
"Feeding bacon to a pig.",
|
|
"Finding your son dead with a belt around his neck and his dick in his hand.",
|
|
"Forgetting the safe word, right when it starts to hurt.",
|
|
"Four minutes of non-stop screaming.",
|
|
"Getting groped by a department store Santa Claus.",
|
|
"Getting mad at a coffee cup.",
|
|
"Going up to a random person and screaming \"Get In My Belly!\"",
|
|
"Google it!",
|
|
"Gooooooooaaaal!!!!!",
|
|
"Grumpy coworkers.",
|
|
"Gut-wrenching explosive diarrhea.",
|
|
"Guy Fieri's frosted tips.",
|
|
"Having your date cancel right after you take the Viagra.",
|
|
"Hoping raw vegetables will cure your cancer.",
|
|
"Hoping that bitch gets AIDS.",
|
|
"Inserting a banana slug into your anus.",
|
|
"Lying at the bottom of the ball pit with my pants off.",
|
|
"Making tea with the blood of your enemies.",
|
|
"Micheal Jackson's last words.",
|
|
"My next born son, Adolph.",
|
|
"People who are racist to their own race.",
|
|
"Putting shock collars on children.",
|
|
"Realizing Dad isn't coming home.",
|
|
"Riding a sugar high.",
|
|
"Rumpleforeskin.",
|
|
"Scouting the Church before I sit.",
|
|
"Secretly stirring someone's beverage with your boner.",
|
|
"Self-loathing minority women who vote Republican.",
|
|
"Something strange in your neighborhood.",
|
|
"Stupid Flanders.",
|
|
"That feeling when you're swimming in cold water and your kibbles and bits touch the water for the first time.",
|
|
"That slightly overweight shite girl with the black boyfriend.",
|
|
"The 6.5 million 112-year-olds mooching off of Social Security.",
|
|
"The disappointment of finding a PB&J in your lunch box instead of leftovers.",
|
|
"The truth about what really happened on September 11th.",
|
|
"This fuckin' guy.",
|
|
"Too man fucking throw pillows.",
|
|
"Too many witnesses.",
|
|
"Unnecessarily enthusiastic therapists.",
|
|
"Using a push pop as a sex toy.",
|
|
"Using religion to justify your shitty opinions.",
|
|
"Watching a woman cry while secretly laughing inside.",
|
|
"Whatever is left.",
|
|
"White supremacists.",
|
|
"Yet another dead Kennedy.",
|
|
"Yodel with elderly potheads.",
|
|
"Your mom, last night.",
|
|
"3D printed sex toys.",
|
|
"A 10 pount jar of ointment.",
|
|
"A boner in tight pants.",
|
|
"A brother from another mother.",
|
|
"A butter face.",
|
|
"A creamy discharge.",
|
|
"A dump on the floor.",
|
|
"A fat kid going to town on an entire birthday cake.",
|
|
"A frozen banana.",
|
|
"A full face transplant.",
|
|
"A furry convention.",
|
|
"A game of Operation, but on real people.",
|
|
"A gluten free nightmare.",
|
|
"A hobo punching a pigeon out of midair.",
|
|
"A hot chocolate surprise.",
|
|
"A human pinata.",
|
|
"A juice cleanse gone horribly wrong.",
|
|
"A loose butthole.",
|
|
"A nun with a drinking problem.",
|
|
"A paradox in which future you travels back in time to tell present-day you that no one gives a shit about paradoxes.",
|
|
"A plate full of SPAM.",
|
|
"A pop culture reference no one understands.",
|
|
"A racist-themed costume party.",
|
|
"A robit who joins together with other robots to form one mega robot.",
|
|
"A self-driving car with an attitude problem.",
|
|
"A shitty FICO score.",
|
|
"A shotgun blast to the dick.",
|
|
"A silent orgasm.",
|
|
"A sopping wet vagine.",
|
|
"A stripper jumping out of a cake.",
|
|
"A swanky Motel 6.",
|
|
"A Taser to the face.",
|
|
"A tongue in the butt.",
|
|
"A used diaper filled with Indian food.",
|
|
"A vibrating toothbrush.",
|
|
"A warehouse full of blow up sex dolls.",
|
|
"A warm watermelon with a hole cut in it.",
|
|
"A whale's vagina.",
|
|
"Amazon drones.",
|
|
"An Alabama hot pocket.",
|
|
"An insanity plea.",
|
|
"An unfathomable fear of midgets.",
|
|
"Babies born addicted to prescription pain meds.",
|
|
"Being balls to the wall horny.",
|
|
"Benjamin Button disease.",
|
|
"Bill Cosby, before we knew what a monster he is.",
|
|
"Born again virgins.",
|
|
"Breaking up through text.",
|
|
"Bringing sexy back.",
|
|
"Bruce Willis being dead the whole movie.",
|
|
"Buttsex.",
|
|
"Cheetos fingers.",
|
|
"Clown makeup that won't come off.",
|
|
"Clowns that are afraid of children.",
|
|
"Constantly being asked, \"Is it in yet?\"",
|
|
"Convincing Asians you're a celebrity.",
|
|
"Couples who color coordinate outfits.",
|
|
"DJ Finger Blast.",
|
|
"Fat shaming that ugly person you see in the mirror each day.",
|
|
"Feces.",
|
|
"Female circumcision.",
|
|
"Fetish porn so obscure you can't even find it online.",
|
|
"Flo from Progressive.",
|
|
"Food porn.",
|
|
"Gender neutral bathrooms.",
|
|
"Getting caught up in the moment and forgetting to pull out.",
|
|
"Getting turned on for all the wrong reasons.",
|
|
"Going number two when you meant to go number one.",
|
|
"Going to pound town.",
|
|
"Grandma's oit briwbues.",
|
|
"Hand stuff.",
|
|
"Having another kid make up for the crushing disappointment of the first one.",
|
|
"Having multiple personalities and none of them are any fun.",
|
|
"Imaginary friends.",
|
|
"Jell-O shots without the Jell-O.",
|
|
"John Stamos's ageless good looks.",
|
|
"Luring children into a van with promises of Candy.",
|
|
"Masturbating like a teenager with a fast internet connection.",
|
|
"Mexican friends.",
|
|
"Mutherfucking Deadpool!",
|
|
"My preciousssssss!",
|
|
"Not knowing if you have a small penis or just really gigantic balls.",
|
|
"Nothing but side boob.",
|
|
"Old age creeping up on you until your inevitable death.",
|
|
"Old Playboy magazines with the pages stuck together.",
|
|
"Paying someone to pee on you.",
|
|
"Pokemon Go.",
|
|
"Poop stains. Nothing but poop stains everywhere.",
|
|
"Pretentious food trucks.",
|
|
"Public hair growing out of control.",
|
|
"Racist Emojis.",
|
|
"Ribbed for her pleasure.",
|
|
"Romantic acronyms like DTF and ATM.",
|
|
"Semen residue.",
|
|
"Shaquille O'Neal throwing barrels at Super Mario.",
|
|
"Someone who literally got stuck inside the Internet.",
|
|
"Tea bagging.",
|
|
"THe largest butt plug you've ever seen.",
|
|
"Those Goddamn 'Keep Calm and Carry On' t-shirts.",
|
|
"Those jackasses pretending to hold up a Leaning Tower of Pisa in their vacation photo.",
|
|
"Tramp stamps.",
|
|
"Truffle butter.",
|
|
"Untreatable STDs.",
|
|
"Vaginal rejuvenation.",
|
|
"Waking up without your dignity.",
|
|
"Walking in on your parents having sex and not hating it.",
|
|
"Who gives a shit?",
|
|
"Your mom's new boyfriend.",
|
|
"Zero Facebook friends.",
|
|
"1790",
|
|
"A 34-hour SAR mission.",
|
|
"A clueless baby ensign.",
|
|
"A company commander getting arrested for smuggling drugs and stolen weapons.",
|
|
"A dignified burial at sea.",
|
|
"A donkey show at the All Hands Club.",
|
|
"A Fireman falling victim to scurvy.",
|
|
"A floating garbage can full of smelly migrants.",
|
|
"A friendly visit from CGIS.",
|
|
"A googly-eyed company commander with a think Jamaican accent.",
|
|
"A mentally challenged reserve commander who actually lost a boat.",
|
|
"A morbidly obese DC1 arriving to muster on a mobility scooter.",
|
|
"A pathetic re-enlistment at the \"E\" Club where no one attends, not even for free cake and beer.",
|
|
"A saltwater wet down followed by a salty \"wet down.\"",
|
|
"A salty food service specialist dribbling queef juice all over your meatloaf.",
|
|
"A stuttering \"A\" School instructor who can't read good but wants to learn to do other stuff good too.",
|
|
"Aborted boat babies going overboard.",
|
|
"An informative memo about the dangers of ball tapping.",
|
|
"An officer getting trashed off of two appletinis and a shot of peppermint schnapps.",
|
|
"An official memo banning the word \"moist.\"",
|
|
"An old, crusty chief.",
|
|
"An unusually attractive health services tech.",
|
|
"Because chief said so!",
|
|
"Bering Sea shrinkage.",
|
|
"Binge watching Netflix® while on duty.",
|
|
"Blaming shit on Reservists.",
|
|
"Bloated, drowning victims.",
|
|
"Boatswain's mates, masters of seamanship!",
|
|
"Breaking a mother fucker with the iron wrist lock take down!",
|
|
"Buoy tenders: the worst, dirtiest people.",
|
|
"Buying unhealthy amounts of cheap booze at Yorktown.",
|
|
"Chief's expansive collection of 80's pornography.",
|
|
"Chief's wife's back boobs.",
|
|
"Cleaning stations.",
|
|
"Clicking through mandatory training slides while watching butt porn on your iPhone®.",
|
|
"Commandant Pappie's unnecessary war on unit ball caps.",
|
|
"Constantly being put on the watch bill because nobody likes you.",
|
|
"Dead marine mammals.",
|
|
"Discovering a mysterious island inhabited solely by filthy monkey men.",
|
|
"Douglas Munro seductively whispering \"Did they get off?\"",
|
|
"Drowning the homeless at sea.",
|
|
"Elusive positive page sevens.",
|
|
"Embarking on a PATFORSWA adventure to float around in the heat and hand out lifejackets.",
|
|
"Endlessly arguing with the Mexicans over jurisdiction.",
|
|
"Fending off insults from other service branches.",
|
|
"Fining recreational boaters for their inadequate number of lifejackets.",
|
|
"Fishery Enforcement.",
|
|
"Fuck fuck games on the Eagle.",
|
|
"Fucking Academy grads!",
|
|
"Going to open mast for making grimy boat porn.",
|
|
"Handcuffing people in the dumbest fucking way possible.",
|
|
"Hating your life because the Coast Guard never lets you do anything cool.",
|
|
"Hispanic boaters who aren't smuggling drugs.",
|
|
"Hitting \"Reply All\" to an email and crashing the entire network.",
|
|
"Incomplete PRACs.",
|
|
"Intoxicated spring breakers.",
|
|
"Inviting the Church of Satan to perform an invocation at your change of command.",
|
|
"Irregular bowel movements brought to you by Cape May's galley.",
|
|
"Jayhawk barrel rolls.",
|
|
"Knowingly jerking off next to a shipmate in the head.",
|
|
"Looking forward to Boston's Gay Pride Parade.",
|
|
"Loving The Guardian, but also hating The Guardian.",
|
|
"Marrying your \"A\" School instructor and the inevitable divorce that follows.",
|
|
"Master chief's impressive beer gut.",
|
|
"Never having a clean combination cover.",
|
|
"Not actually knowing the words to Semper Paratus.",
|
|
"Not giving a fuck because you just remembered you're not a petty officer.",
|
|
"Painting rocks orange.",
|
|
"Participating in a change of command while completely sloshed.",
|
|
"Passing tape because of your stumpy gorilla neck.",
|
|
"Performing morally depraved acts to get your travel voucher processed.",
|
|
"Performing naked cartwheels on the TRACEN commander's lawn.",
|
|
"Pissing yourself after spending 13 hours in the bilge.",
|
|
"Pretending to know how to read a boat board.",
|
|
"Provocatively removing your Air Force Blue shirt in the Chief's Mess.",
|
|
"Racing into a hurricane to avoid a menopausing staff officer.",
|
|
"RAMMING SPEED!",
|
|
"Regrettably marrying a gigantic ham beast for the BAH.",
|
|
"Remembering that you're part of the best damn lifesaving service on the planet!",
|
|
"Rogue waves.",
|
|
"Scratch and sniff, 3D, next level porta-shitter artwork.",
|
|
"Sevens.",
|
|
"Shooting a harpoon into a bottlenose dolphin's adorable face.",
|
|
"Shooting seagulls for fun.",
|
|
"Shouting no-no words over comms.",
|
|
"So. Many. Life jackets!",
|
|
"Some steamy company commander on-recruit action.",
|
|
"Striking rate to get off the boat.",
|
|
"Teaching Soldiers how to drive a boat.",
|
|
"That one black guy who can swim.",
|
|
"That one coxswain who likes to hit whitecaps.",
|
|
"The Auxiliary saying asinine bullshit over the radio.",
|
|
"The CCC Gallatin, the floating fuck boat.",
|
|
"The endless adventures of \"A\" School.",
|
|
"The lead Seaman.",
|
|
"The orgasmic taste of Chewy® Bars.",
|
|
"The Polar Star!",
|
|
"The ship store's disappointing selection of cheap candy and trash food.",
|
|
"The Thadmiral's throbbing erection for all things law enforcement.",
|
|
"Traveling full speed through a protected manatee habitat.",
|
|
"Turning random objects into hammers.",
|
|
"Wearing the parka with Trops like some sort of fuckng weirdo.",
|
|
"Yelling \"Do a backflip!\" at a bridge jumper.",
|
|
"Yelling \"SEMPER PARATUS!\" while swatting a wasp nest with a broom.",
|
|
"Zealously berating Cadets for doing stupid Cadet things.",
|
|
"A giant mechanical bird with a tragic backstory.",
|
|
"A grumpy spiritual director.",
|
|
"All of the good times and premium gaming entertainment available to you in the Kickstarter room.",
|
|
"Attacking from Kamchatka.",
|
|
"Collecting all seven power crystals.",
|
|
"Demons and shit.",
|
|
"Endless pleasure.",
|
|
"Futuristic death sports.",
|
|
"KHAAAAAAAAAN!",
|
|
"Lagging out.",
|
|
"Mistakenly hitting on a League of Legends statue.",
|
|
"Separation of merch and state.",
|
|
"Serana William`s black sweaty scrotum",
|
|
"Stuffing my underwear with pancakes.",
|
|
"Taking 3 hours to go on a 15 minute errand",
|
|
"The imagination of Peter Jackson.",
|
|
"The pure, Zen-like state that exists between micro and macro.",
|
|
"The Star Wars universe.",
|
|
"Whatever Final Fantasy bullshit happened this year.",
|
|
"Xena, Warrior Princess.",
|
|
"10 Incredible Facts About the Anus.",
|
|
"40 acres and a mule.",
|
|
"A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.",
|
|
"A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.",
|
|
"A buttload of candy.",
|
|
"A chimpanzee in sunglasses fucking your wife.",
|
|
"A constant need for validation.",
|
|
"A crazy little thing called love.",
|
|
"A dance move that's just sex.",
|
|
"A face full of horse cum.",
|
|
"A fart.",
|
|
"A for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes.",
|
|
"A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.",
|
|
"A giant powdery manbaby.",
|
|
"A hopeless amount of spiders.",
|
|
"A horse with no legs.",
|
|
"A kiss on the lips.",
|
|
"A lil' stupid ass bitch.",
|
|
"A man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle.",
|
|
"A manhole.",
|
|
"A mouthful of potato salad.",
|
|
"A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.",
|
|
"A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.",
|
|
"A peyote-fueled vision quest.",
|
|
"A pizza guy who fucked up.",
|
|
"A possible Muslim.",
|
|
"A reason not to commit suicide.",
|
|
"A self-microwaving burrito.",
|
|
"A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness.",
|
|
"A sex goblin with a carnival penis.",
|
|
"A shiny rock that proves I love you.",
|
|
"A team of lawyers.",
|
|
"A thrilling chase over the rooftops of Rio de Janeiro.",
|
|
"A turd.",
|
|
"A Ugandan warlord.",
|
|
"A whole lotta woman.",
|
|
"A whole new kind of porn.",
|
|
"A woman.",
|
|
"A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home.",
|
|
"Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.",
|
|
"Africa.",
|
|
"AIDS monkeys.",
|
|
"All the single ladies.",
|
|
"All these decorative pillows.",
|
|
"Almost giving money to a homeless person.",
|
|
"Ambiguous sarcasm.",
|
|
"An inability to form meaningful relationships.",
|
|
"An interracial handshake.",
|
|
"An oppressed people with a vibrant culture.",
|
|
"An overwhelming variety of cheeses.",
|
|
"An unforgettable quinceanera.",
|
|
"An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation.",
|
|
"Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe.",
|
|
"Ancient Athenian boy-fucking.",
|
|
"Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.",
|
|
"Ass to mouth.",
|
|
"Backwards knees.",
|
|
"Bathing in moonsblood and dancing around the ancient oak.",
|
|
"Being a terrible mother.",
|
|
"Being John Malkovich.",
|
|
"Being nine years old.",
|
|
"Being paralyzed from the neck down.",
|
|
"Being popular and good at sports.",
|
|
"Being worshipped as the one true God.",
|
|
"Beloved television star Bill Cosby.",
|
|
"Blackface.",
|
|
"Blackula.",
|
|
"Blowjobs for everyone.",
|
|
"Boring Vaginal sex.",
|
|
"Bouncing up and down.",
|
|
"Breastfeeding a ten year old.",
|
|
"Bullets.",
|
|
"Butt stuff.",
|
|
"Calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality.",
|
|
"Cancer.",
|
|
"Changing a person's mind with logic and facts.",
|
|
"Child Protective Services.",
|
|
"Child support payments.",
|
|
"Common-sense gun control legislation.",
|
|
"Cool, relatable cancer teens.",
|
|
"Crazy opium eyes.",
|
|
"Crippling social anxiety.",
|
|
"Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti.",
|
|
"Cute boys.",
|
|
"Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears.",
|
|
"Daddy.",
|
|
"Deez nuts.",
|
|
"Dem titties.",
|
|
"Depression.",
|
|
"Doing the right stuff to her nipples.",
|
|
"Doo-doo.",
|
|
"Drinking responsibly.",
|
|
"Eating together like a god damn family for once.",
|
|
"Eggs.",
|
|
"Ejaculating inside another man's wife.",
|
|
"Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry.",
|
|
"Ennui.",
|
|
"Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body.",
|
|
"Exploding pigeons.",
|
|
"Falling into the toilet.",
|
|
"Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin.",
|
|
"Filling a man's anus with concrete.",
|
|
"Finally finishing off the Indians.",
|
|
"Free ice cream, yo.",
|
|
"Fresh dill from the patio.",
|
|
"Fucking a corpse back to life.",
|
|
"Generally having no idea what's going on.",
|
|
"Genghis Khan's DNA.",
|
|
"Getting all offended.",
|
|
"Getting caught by the police and going to jail.",
|
|
"Getting down to business to defeat the Huns.",
|
|
"Getting drive-by shot.",
|
|
"Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri.",
|
|
"Getting offended.",
|
|
"Getting shot by the police.",
|
|
"Getting shot out of a cannon.",
|
|
"Giant sperm from outer space.",
|
|
"Going down on a woman, discovering that her vagina is filled with eyeballs, and being totally into that.",
|
|
"Going inside at some point because of the mosquitoes.",
|
|
"Going to a high school reunion on ketamine.",
|
|
"Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis.",
|
|
"Growing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness.",
|
|
"Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.",
|
|
"Having been dead for a while.",
|
|
"How awesome I am.",
|
|
"Immortality cream.",
|
|
"Important news about Taylor Swift.",
|
|
"Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other.",
|
|
"Interspecies marriage.",
|
|
"Irrefutable evidence that God is real.",
|
|
"Jizz.",
|
|
"Kale.",
|
|
"Khakis.",
|
|
"Letting out 20 years' worth of farts.",
|
|
"Like a million alligators.",
|
|
"Lots and lots of abortions.",
|
|
"Meaningless sex.",
|
|
"Moderate-to-severe joint pain.",
|
|
"Mom's new boyfriend.",
|
|
"Morpheus.",
|
|
"My dad's dumb fucking face.",
|
|
"My dead son's baseball glove.",
|
|
"My first period.",
|
|
"My sex dungeon.",
|
|
"My worthless son.",
|
|
"Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits.",
|
|
"Never having sex again.",
|
|
"No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.",
|
|
"Not believing in giraffes.",
|
|
"Oil!",
|
|
"One unforgettable night of passion.",
|
|
"Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers®!",
|
|
"Out-of-this-world bazongas.",
|
|
"Owls, the perfect predator.",
|
|
"P.F. Chang himself.",
|
|
"Party Mexicans.",
|
|
"Peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby.",
|
|
"Potato.",
|
|
"Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa.",
|
|
"Pussy.",
|
|
"Reading the entire End-User License Agreement.",
|
|
"Ripping a dog in half.",
|
|
"Robots who just want to party.",
|
|
"Russian super-tuberculosis.",
|
|
"Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.",
|
|
"Seeing things from Hitler's perspective.",
|
|
"September 11th, 2001.",
|
|
"Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio.",
|
|
"Shapes and colors.",
|
|
"Sharks with legs.",
|
|
"Shitting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl.",
|
|
"Slowly easing down onto a cucumber.",
|
|
"Smoking crack, for instance.",
|
|
"Snorting coke off a clown's boner.",
|
|
"Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion.",
|
|
"Some shit-hot guitar licks.",
|
|
"Some sort of Asian.",
|
|
"Sports.",
|
|
"Storing a bunch of acorns in my pussy.",
|
|
"Stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip® until he starts having fun.",
|
|
"Stupid.",
|
|
"Such a big boy.",
|
|
"Sucking all the milk out of a yak.",
|
|
"Sudden penis loss.",
|
|
"Teaching a girl how to handjob the penis.",
|
|
"Texas.",
|
|
"The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle.",
|
|
"The amount of gay I am.",
|
|
"The basic suffering that pervades all of existence.",
|
|
"The best taquito in the galaxy.",
|
|
"The black half of Barack Obama.",
|
|
"The color \"puce\".",
|
|
"The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East.",
|
|
"The dentist.",
|
|
"The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion.",
|
|
"The eighth graders.",
|
|
"The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.",
|
|
"The ghost of Marlon Brando.",
|
|
"The haunting stare of an Iraqi child.",
|
|
"The inability to form meaningful relationships.",
|
|
"The passage of time.",
|
|
"The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China.",
|
|
"The power of the Dark Side.",
|
|
"The right amount of cocaine.",
|
|
"The safe word.",
|
|
"The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction.",
|
|
"The sweet song of sword against sword and the braying of mighty war beasts.",
|
|
"The swim team, all at once.",
|
|
"The tiger that killed my father.",
|
|
"The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real.",
|
|
"The unbelievable world of mushrooms.",
|
|
"The white half of Barack Obama.",
|
|
"Three consecutive seconds of happiness.",
|
|
"Throwing stones at a man until he dies.",
|
|
"Too much cocaine.",
|
|
"Total fucking chaos.",
|
|
"Treasures beyond your wildest dreams.",
|
|
"Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels.",
|
|
"Two whales fucking the shit out of each other.",
|
|
"Unrelenting genital punishment.",
|
|
"Unsheathing my massive horse cock.",
|
|
"Vegetarian options.",
|
|
"Walking into a glass door.",
|
|
"Wearing glasses and sounding smart.",
|
|
"Western standards of beauty.",
|
|
"What Jesus would do.",
|
|
"Whatever a McRib® is made of.",
|
|
"Whatever you wish, mother.",
|
|
"Whispering all sexy.",
|
|
"A bunch of naked bridesmaids.",
|
|
"A dance so face-meltingly hot, you have to go to the restroom and check your underwear.",
|
|
"A fascist loofa-faced shit-gibbon.",
|
|
"A foreskin charm bracelet",
|
|
"A gender studies teacher.",
|
|
"A horcrux",
|
|
"A hot air balloon powered by fart gas.",
|
|
"A map of Trump's electoral victory.",
|
|
"Actualizing my potential.",
|
|
"All the ways the baby blogs convince you you are murdering your unborn child",
|
|
"An interspecies orgy.",
|
|
"Angelina Jolie",
|
|
"Calf implants on an infant.",
|
|
"Depriving white men of the right to vote for 150 years and just seeing what happens.",
|
|
"Doodle on a cheese doodle.",
|
|
"Falling into the zoo enclosure.",
|
|
"Fucking a girl so hard her nose bleeds.",
|
|
"Grand Theft Auto: Fort Lauderdale.",
|
|
"inner city children",
|
|
"Intimacy problems.",
|
|
"Jizzing in your Mother in-law's soup.",
|
|
"Modrobes",
|
|
"my dad's jar of petroleum jelly",
|
|
"Neil Patrick Harris.",
|
|
"Sharks.",
|
|
"Smoking crack.",
|
|
"Snorting coke off the back of a toilet",
|
|
"Some sort of unstoppable poo gun.",
|
|
"Spotting your commander at BronyCon.",
|
|
"Sugar madness.",
|
|
"The best words. (And a below-average spell-checker.)",
|
|
"The complex sounds of goats",
|
|
"The pelican that will one day eat Scarlett Johansson's baby.",
|
|
"The secret handshake.",
|
|
"The skin flute, in A minor.",
|
|
"The tiny man who lives inside the ATM and hands out all the money.",
|
|
"Unraveling 550 reels to look busy for a significant amount of time.",
|
|
"What looked like a chemical weapons facility but turned out to be a children's hospital.",
|
|
"Whatever brave hero killed Hitler.",
|
|
"A dead battery in the noisy toy",
|
|
"A diaper-eating dog",
|
|
"A kid's birthday party that costs more than our wedding",
|
|
"A pee-free toilet seat",
|
|
"A sandbox fight club",
|
|
"A toddler mute button",
|
|
"An everlasting iPad battery",
|
|
"Another germ-infested, bone-breaking bouncy house",
|
|
"Asking Alexa for parenting advice",
|
|
"Bedtime battles",
|
|
"Bribing your kids with candy to brush their teeth",
|
|
"Cleaning puke out of your cleavage",
|
|
"Convincing yourself the drive-thru is a healthy dinner option",
|
|
"Disapproving looks from childless couples",
|
|
"Discussing poop with parents you've just met",
|
|
"Doing snow angels on Walmart's dirty floor",
|
|
"Drinking a whole bottle of wine to unwind",
|
|
"Eating chocolate in the closet",
|
|
"Faking a poop just to sit in silence",
|
|
"Fighting over the last Girl Scout cookie",
|
|
"Figuring out you could probably survive a week on the crap in your car",
|
|
"Forgetting their after-school activity . . . Again",
|
|
"Forgetting which twin is which",
|
|
"Getting your period the one weekend your parents have the kids",
|
|
"Giving in to ice cream for dinner just to quiet the kids",
|
|
"Giving the sick kid Tylenol and sending them to daycare anyway",
|
|
"Glitter, the curse of crafting",
|
|
"Grocery store tantrums",
|
|
"Having a favorite child",
|
|
"Helping them look for their candy that you ate last night",
|
|
"Knowing which kid farted by their distinct smell",
|
|
"Letting your kid watch someone else read them books on YouTube",
|
|
"Literally hiding from my kids",
|
|
"Mixing up pajama day with picture day",
|
|
"Noise canceling headphones and a bottle wine",
|
|
"Not giving a sh*t while chaperoning",
|
|
"Oh sh*t . . . twins!",
|
|
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR",
|
|
"Packing lunches that never get eaten",
|
|
"Pants with elastic wastbands",
|
|
"Pee-soaked mattress",
|
|
"Phonetically spelled hate mail from my 5 year old",
|
|
"Playing hide and go poop",
|
|
"Pretending we like other people's children",
|
|
"Putting ketchup on literally everything",
|
|
"Reading the same book over and over and over and over again",
|
|
"Realizing the pre-kids you was so wrong about everything",
|
|
"Redecorating with spill proof fabrics",
|
|
"Running into an ex just as your kid goes full tantrum",
|
|
"Saying thank you when handed a booger",
|
|
"School tuition payments larger than our monthly mortgage",
|
|
"Secretly looking forward to going to work on Mondays",
|
|
"Sending the kid to daycare even when you have the day off",
|
|
"Setting all the clocks forward an hour so they go to bed early",
|
|
"Someone making millions unwrapping toys on YouTube",
|
|
"Telling my kids everything is spicy so I don't have to share",
|
|
"That dumbass who parks in the drop off lane",
|
|
"The constant aroma of baby vomit and explosive diarrhea",
|
|
"The fight over whose farts smell the worst",
|
|
"The impossible-to-find Christmas present",
|
|
"The inappropriate honesty of a 5 year old",
|
|
"The Man Flu",
|
|
"Trying to take them to school on a Saturday",
|
|
"Unicorn stickers everywhere",
|
|
"Using a record number of wipes in a single diaper change",
|
|
"Using spit as a cleaning aid",
|
|
"Using your sleeve as a snot rag",
|
|
"Vomit laundry",
|
|
"Waiting in line for 3 hours to meet a Disney character for 3 seconds",
|
|
"Watching cartoons after the kids are in bed",
|
|
"Wiping another ass",
|
|
"A baby dressed as the Pope,",
|
|
"A blinged out consecration bracelet.",
|
|
"A camel trying to fit through the eye of the needle.",
|
|
"A chatty cloistered nun.",
|
|
"A Christian fish tattoo.",
|
|
"A Church coordinator that rules with an iron fist.",
|
|
"A church with a broken air conditioner.",
|
|
"A dating fast.",
|
|
"A friend who only prays in Latin.",
|
|
"A glow in the dark Rosary.",
|
|
"A homeschool conference.",
|
|
"A homily that goes on forever.",
|
|
"A humongous scapu;ar.",
|
|
"A lazy sacristan.",
|
|
"A Mama's boy.",
|
|
"A Mass themed tie for Dad.",
|
|
"A mom who prays to St. Jude for her child.",
|
|
"A nun who gives massages.",
|
|
"A poorly made Christian movie.",
|
|
"A private audience with the Pope.",
|
|
"A rich Franciscan.",
|
|
"A semester in Rome.",
|
|
"A short penance.",
|
|
"A silent retreat.",
|
|
"A spiffy new cardigan.",
|
|
"A super mode3st wedding dress.",
|
|
"A technicolor coat.",
|
|
"A thumbs up from St. Catherine of Siena.",
|
|
"A vow of poverty.",
|
|
"A walking Rosary.",
|
|
"Abrahams facial reaction learning he has to circumcies himself.",
|
|
"Accidentally doing the Sign of the Cross before a meeting at work.",
|
|
"Accidentally licking the priest's thumb.",
|
|
"Adam and Eve's wardrobe.",
|
|
"Adding a new icon to the collection.",
|
|
"Adventures in Odyssey.",
|
|
"An American saint.",
|
|
"An ATM at the back of the church.",
|
|
"An energetic church band.",
|
|
"An extra long confession.",
|
|
"An incorruptable pinky toe.",
|
|
"An overcrowded Chapel.",
|
|
"Anthony Hopkins.",
|
|
"Arguing about when the 12 days of Christmas actually occur.",
|
|
"Avoiding eye contact with the person with the collection basket.",
|
|
"Avoiding the sick during the sign of peace.",
|
|
"Baby Moses floating down the Nile.",
|
|
"Beautiful European churches.",
|
|
"Being a fish during the parting of the Red Sea.",
|
|
"Being afraid of snakes.",
|
|
"Being allergic to incense.",
|
|
"Being devoured by lions.",
|
|
"Being first in line to board Noah's Ark.",
|
|
"Being holier than thou.",
|
|
"Being in 6 weddings in one year.",
|
|
"Being in the state of Grace.",
|
|
"Being jealous of those that know more Bible verses.",
|
|
"Being married with 11 kids.",
|
|
"Being named John Paul along with every other boy in the class.",
|
|
"Being obsessed with babies.",
|
|
"Being one flesh.",
|
|
"Being the oldest of 9.",
|
|
"Being the only person in the choir under 65.",
|
|
"Being too of the world.",
|
|
"Bishop Robert Barron.",
|
|
"Blaming Eve.",
|
|
"Blaring trumpets.",
|
|
"Blessed is She brunch.",
|
|
"Bob the tomato.",
|
|
"Braided hair.",
|
|
"Breathing on my friends.",
|
|
"Bringing a sword to the earth.",
|
|
"Canonization.",
|
|
"Carpentry.",
|
|
"Casually having a wall of crucifixes as decoration.",
|
|
"Catholic memes.",
|
|
"Catholic school uniforms.",
|
|
"Catholic School.",
|
|
"CatholicMatch®",
|
|
"Causing scandal to pious ears.",
|
|
"Chalice chippers.",
|
|
"Chanting during Mass.",
|
|
"Chewing gum before Mass.",
|
|
"Christian rap.",
|
|
"Christmas and Easter Catholics.",
|
|
"Cold baptismal water.",
|
|
"Confirmation season.",
|
|
"Constantly being pregnant.",
|
|
"Consummation.",
|
|
"Craving Church wine.",
|
|
"Crushing on the Youth Minister.",
|
|
"Crying kids in Church.",
|
|
"Cutting of the guard's ear.",
|
|
"Daily Mass at 6:30 am.",
|
|
"Daniel in the lion's den.",
|
|
"Denial.",
|
|
"Descartes.",
|
|
"Dipping out after Communion.",
|
|
"Donut Sunday.",
|
|
"Drinking beer.",
|
|
"Driving a Fiat.",
|
|
"Dropping out of seminary.",
|
|
"Dropping the Host.",
|
|
"Eating a slice of humble pie after reading the life of any saint.",
|
|
"Eating bacon.",
|
|
"Ending emails with a Latin sign-off.",
|
|
"Ephesians 5.",
|
|
"Falling asleep in the Chapel.",
|
|
"Fasting.",
|
|
"Fearing the Jews.",
|
|
"Feeling holy with a Bible app on my phone.",
|
|
"Finding the perfect first communion gown.",
|
|
"Fishers of men.",
|
|
"Flipping tables.",
|
|
"Flirting in Catechism class.",
|
|
"Floating during prayer.",
|
|
"Forgetting about the Novena on day 4.",
|
|
"Forgetting it's Friday right after the first bite of the burger.",
|
|
"Forgetting the words to the Apostle's Creed.",
|
|
"Fr. Mike Schmitz.",
|
|
"Friar Tuck.",
|
|
"Gandalf's perfectly shaped eyebrows.",
|
|
"Genuflecting at the movie theater.",
|
|
"George Bailey's wonderful life.",
|
|
"Getting a new Bible.",
|
|
"Getting food poisoning after a seder meal.",
|
|
"Getting married at 21.",
|
|
"Getting my foot caught under the kneeler.",
|
|
"Getting my MRS degree.",
|
|
"Getting slain by the Spirit.",
|
|
"Getting that \"ring by spring.\"",
|
|
"Getting to the tomb first.",
|
|
"Giving up chocolate for Lent.",
|
|
"Gluten free Communion.",
|
|
"Going on a mission trip.",
|
|
"Gregorian Chant.",
|
|
"Gregory Peck.",
|
|
"Haivng the goal of martyrdom.",
|
|
"Having 147 prayer cards that I just can't throw away.",
|
|
"Having a day as bad as Tobit's.",
|
|
"Having a minor in Catholic Studies.",
|
|
"Having no one to shake hands with at the sign of peace.",
|
|
"Having too many Nativity sets.",
|
|
"Having visions.",
|
|
"Henry the Eighth's wives.",
|
|
"HERESY!",
|
|
"High water pants.",
|
|
"Holding hands with my crush during the Lord's prayer.",
|
|
"Holy tax collectors.",
|
|
"Hunting for a wife.",
|
|
"Identifying too closely to young St. Augustine.",
|
|
"Inappropriate applause during Mass.",
|
|
"Invoking St. Anthony Every morning to find the keys.",
|
|
"Invoking St. Joseph of Cupertino rather than studying.",
|
|
"Isaac bargaining with Abraham to scrifice other things.",
|
|
"Jason and Crystalina Evert.",
|
|
"Jean skirts.",
|
|
"Jesuits.",
|
|
"Jesus taking the wheel.",
|
|
"Jim Caviezel.",
|
|
"John 3:16.",
|
|
"John Paul the Great Catholic University.",
|
|
"Josephite marriage.",
|
|
"Kneeling to receive communion making everyone else feel interior.",
|
|
"Knowing all the lines of The Lord of the Rings movies.",
|
|
"Knowing all the words of Silly Songs with Larry.",
|
|
"Knowing the newlyweds are no longer virgins.",
|
|
"Knowing the sign language of Jesus Loves Me.",
|
|
"Lazarus.",
|
|
"Leaving Mass early to watch the football game.",
|
|
"Leaving my mother and father and clinging to my wife.",
|
|
"Leaving room for the Holy Spirit.",
|
|
"Life Teen.",
|
|
"Listening to Matt Maher.",
|
|
"Literally having a log in my eye.",
|
|
"Little Cathiolic bookstores.",
|
|
"Liturgical dancing.",
|
|
"Liturgy of the hours.",
|
|
"Living at my parent's house until marriage.",
|
|
"Living by the motto \"modset is bottest.\"",
|
|
"Living in Community.",
|
|
"Living on a missionary budget.",
|
|
"Looking like an old baseball mitt.",
|
|
"Losing a WWJD bracelet and knowing that Jesus wouldn't have done that.",
|
|
"Losing count on my decade of the Rosary.",
|
|
"Loudly dropping the pew.",
|
|
"Making $5/hr as a babysitter.",
|
|
"Making a public confession.",
|
|
"Making cord Rosaries.",
|
|
"Making sure everyone knows about the Cross I bear.",
|
|
"Marian consecration.",
|
|
"Mass lasting longer than an hour.",
|
|
"Meeting the mother of the woman of my dreams.",
|
|
"Minivan envy.",
|
|
"Mistakenly asking a seminarians for confession.",
|
|
"Mom groups.",
|
|
"Mortification.",
|
|
"Mother Angelica.",
|
|
"Mother's Day.",
|
|
"Mr. Tumnus.",
|
|
"My creepy Godfather.",
|
|
"Naming kids after obscure saints no one's ever heard of.",
|
|
"Naming my grill St. Lawrence.",
|
|
"Naming twins Cain and Abel and wondering how it will turn out.",
|
|
"Natural Family Planning.",
|
|
"Needing a bigger cell phone family plan.",
|
|
"Neing trapped in the belly of a whale.",
|
|
"No intervisitation in college dorms.",
|
|
"Not being able to hear the Sermon on the Mount.",
|
|
"Not being allowed to go Trick-or-Treating.",
|
|
"Not being an animal person at the parish pet blessing.",
|
|
"Not dating within the youth group.",
|
|
"Not drinking the wine because of germs.",
|
|
"Not focusing during a Rosary.",
|
|
"Not getting exactly what I pray for.",
|
|
"Not having extra cash for the second collection.",
|
|
"Not knowing if I should hug during the sign of peace.",
|
|
"Not knowing the words of Praise and Worship songs.",
|
|
"Not wanting to be a lamb around Passover.",
|
|
"Offering it up.",
|
|
"Pancake breakfasts.",
|
|
"Peach fuzz.",
|
|
"People who pray two words ahead of everyone else.",
|
|
"Perpetual adoration.",
|
|
"Philip Rivers.",
|
|
"Plucking my eye out.",
|
|
"Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI.",
|
|
"Pope Francis.",
|
|
"Pope memorabilia.",
|
|
"Pope Peter's pinnacle papacy.",
|
|
"Praying for a future spouse.",
|
|
"Praying for an ex.",
|
|
"Praying in tongues.",
|
|
"Praying the Chaplet because it's shorter than a Rosary.",
|
|
"Praying to the saints.",
|
|
"Preparing for the flood.",
|
|
"Pronouncing names wrong in the Prayers of the Faithful.",
|
|
"Providing and protecting.",
|
|
"Punching heretics.",
|
|
"Purgatory shortening engagements.",
|
|
"Purity rings.",
|
|
"Putting blood on the door because I am an Original Israelite.",
|
|
"Raking in cash for Confirmation.",
|
|
"Rameses.",
|
|
"Reading the Song of Solomon with my parents.",
|
|
"Realizing I left the Savior behind in the Temple.",
|
|
"Receiving Last Rites multiple times.",
|
|
"Referencing the Catechism",
|
|
"Refusing to scrifice to pagan gods.",
|
|
"Relationship milestones in the Adoration chapel.",
|
|
"Ripping the technicolor coat.",
|
|
"Rose scented Rosaries.",
|
|
"Sacrilege.",
|
|
"Salt of the earth.",
|
|
"Saying hi to Jesus for a friend.",
|
|
"Saying yes to the habit.",
|
|
"Scott Hahn.",
|
|
"Secretly loving trashy TV.",
|
|
"Seeing a dove in Rome.",
|
|
"Seeing a saint statue in the neighbor's yard.",
|
|
"Seeing Adam naked for the first time.",
|
|
"Seeing the Transfigured Jesus and deciding to build a tent.",
|
|
"Seeing the white smoke.",
|
|
"Selling my youngest sibling for a profit.",
|
|
"Shaking the dust off my feet.",
|
|
"Sheep locators for all those lost sheep.",
|
|
"Showing off my new prayer journal.",
|
|
"Showing up to Mass after the first reading.",
|
|
"Sitting for the \"few\" announcements.",
|
|
"Sitting in the back of the Church.",
|
|
"Skiing with JPII.",
|
|
"Skillet.",
|
|
"Socks with Birkenstocksd.",
|
|
"Speaking in a Scottish accent after watching Braveheart.",
|
|
"Sports jerseys at Mass.",
|
|
"St. Valentine's bitter attitude towards Hallmark.",
|
|
"Standing during the Palm Sunday Gospel reading.",
|
|
"Starting a blog.",
|
|
"Stay at home dads.",
|
|
"Stealing Grandma's Magnificat.",
|
|
"Still saying \"and also with you.\"",
|
|
"Striving for holiness.",
|
|
"Striving to convert the Protestant evangelists at the door.",
|
|
"Suffocating from the incense.",
|
|
"Sunday School.",
|
|
"Superhero movies.",
|
|
"Sweaty hands at the Sign of Peace.",
|
|
"Taking full advantage of Fat Tuesday.",
|
|
"Taking the Bible literally.",
|
|
"Tellig personal Jesus stories.",
|
|
"The \"Friend Zone.\"",
|
|
"The altar boy who can't stay awake.",
|
|
"The attractive seminarian.",
|
|
"The Big Bang Theory.",
|
|
"The Book of James.",
|
|
"The Boondock Saints.",
|
|
"The Burning Bush.",
|
|
"The Byzantine Rite.",
|
|
"The Cardinal who is yearning to be Pope.",
|
|
"The catacombs.",
|
|
"The Charismatic Renewal.",
|
|
"The choir director who loves the sound of their own voice.",
|
|
"The Church being represesnted accurately in the news.",
|
|
"The crown of creation.",
|
|
"The Crusades.",
|
|
"The cry room at Church.",
|
|
"The donkey wondering what on earth is happening in his manger.",
|
|
"The extraordinary form of Mass.",
|
|
"The fast dinner blessing.",
|
|
"The Filet O'Fish™.",
|
|
"The first Lord's day dinner with future in-laws.",
|
|
"The flirt to convert movement.",
|
|
"The golden calf.",
|
|
"The Good Samaritan.",
|
|
"The indistinguishable Ash Wednesday cross.",
|
|
"The infectious Rosary yawn.",
|
|
"The kid that stares at me in Mass.",
|
|
"The King James Bible.",
|
|
"The Last Supper.",
|
|
"The March for Life.",
|
|
"The narrow path.",
|
|
"The one whom Jesus loved.",
|
|
"The Passion of Christ.",
|
|
"The passive-aggressive Church lady.",
|
|
"The Prince of Egypt.",
|
|
"The Protestant Reformation.",
|
|
"The Resurrection.",
|
|
"The Rock of the Church.",
|
|
"The sacrifical giving talk during a homily.",
|
|
"The Scarlet and the Black.",
|
|
"The Second Vatican Council.",
|
|
"The Sex Talk.",
|
|
"The sin of Simony.",
|
|
"The statue of David.",
|
|
"The Summa Theologica.",
|
|
"The three wise men getting into a scuffle.",
|
|
"The tomb of St. Peter.",
|
|
"The Tower of Babel.",
|
|
"The visiting priest that barely speaks English.",
|
|
"The walls of Jericho.",
|
|
"The woman who sings loudly out of key.",
|
|
"The worm that ate Jonah's plant.",
|
|
"Theologians with beards.",
|
|
"Theology on Tap.",
|
|
"Thinking Brother Sun, Sister Moon was a good movie.",
|
|
"Thinking Harry Potter is the devil.",
|
|
"Thomas Aquinas' haircut.",
|
|
"Tithing less than 10%.",
|
|
"Too much holy water on my fingers.",
|
|
"Transubstantiation.",
|
|
"Tripping while bringing up the gifts.",
|
|
"Trying not to stare at the Knights of Columbus feather hats.",
|
|
"Trying to explain the Trinity.",
|
|
"Trying to stay in the state of grace in the parking lot.",
|
|
"Ugy Church websites.",
|
|
"Using a big rock altar on retreat.",
|
|
"Val Kilmer as God.",
|
|
"Waiting for the flower after finishing the Novena to St. Therese.",
|
|
"Walking on water.",
|
|
"Walking the Camino.",
|
|
"Wanting more descendants than stars in the sky.",
|
|
"Wanting the birthright of the firstborn.",
|
|
"Wanting the stigmata, but not really.",
|
|
"Washing feet with toe fungus.",
|
|
"Weak Church coffee.",
|
|
"Wearing so many miraculous medals it causes a headache.",
|
|
"Whispering \"sinner\" at people on the street.",
|
|
"Winning a goldfish at the church festival.",
|
|
"Wondering where dinosaurs fit in with the Creation story.",
|
|
"Zacchaeus.",
|
|
"Zmoses' pet quail.",
|
|
"$13 worth of Taco Bell",
|
|
"10 pounds of crap in a 5-pound bag",
|
|
"100 pounds of bull semen",
|
|
"172 thumbtacks",
|
|
"42 Happy Meal toys",
|
|
"500 sporks",
|
|
"6-inch heels",
|
|
"99 bottles of beer",
|
|
"A \"hardly noticeable\" herpes sore",
|
|
"A \"personal massager\"",
|
|
"A \"World's Biggest Asshole\" trophy",
|
|
"A 1987 Ford Fiesta",
|
|
"A 3-foot tapeworm",
|
|
"A 300-lb dresses as Princess Leia",
|
|
"A 5-speed shower nozzle",
|
|
"A 6-pack of Red Bull",
|
|
"A 7-Eleven clerk coming off a three-day shift",
|
|
"A 7-year-old pageant contestant",
|
|
"A baby's soiled diapers",
|
|
"A ball gag",
|
|
"A banana hammock",
|
|
"A bathtub full of cottage cheese",
|
|
"A bearded lady.",
|
|
"A bearskin rug",
|
|
"A bent coat hanger",
|
|
"A big-ass knife",
|
|
"A black, mushy banana",
|
|
"A block of government cheese",
|
|
"A blood-soaked onesie",
|
|
"A boring educational video game",
|
|
"A boy band member ten years past his prime",
|
|
"A breast pump",
|
|
"A bruised cucumber",
|
|
"A bulimic actress",
|
|
"A butt pirate",
|
|
"A butt-cheek implant",
|
|
"A Canadian proctologist",
|
|
"A chastity belt",
|
|
"A chick way into mixed martial arts",
|
|
"A chiropractor that flunked out of med school",
|
|
"A chloroform-soaked rag",
|
|
"A classy face tattoo",
|
|
"A clone of Ryan Gosling",
|
|
"A closeted leading man",
|
|
"A coffin built for two",
|
|
"A collection of used dental dams",
|
|
"A confirmed bachelor",
|
|
"A crapy stand-up comedian",
|
|
"A craving for patricide",
|
|
"A crazy cat lady",
|
|
"A crippling depression",
|
|
"A cross-dressing fireman",
|
|
"A crucifix",
|
|
"A crying minister",
|
|
"A cupcake made of pigeon crap",
|
|
"A dead kitty cat",
|
|
"A diaphragm with three holes in it",
|
|
"A dirty, dirty hippy",
|
|
"A dog in heat",
|
|
"A dog-eared copy of Lolita",
|
|
"A douchey hipster",
|
|
"A dozen roofies",
|
|
"A drug-dealing cousin",
|
|
"A drunk ballerina",
|
|
"A duffle bag filled with crumpled one dollar bills",
|
|
"A family heirloom strap-on",
|
|
"a fat internet troll",
|
|
"a female CEO",
|
|
"A feminist with a sense of humor",
|
|
"A fistful of nickels",
|
|
"A Fitbit",
|
|
"A flamboyant hairdresser",
|
|
"A flare gun",
|
|
"A fleabag motel room",
|
|
"A French maid's outfit",
|
|
"A freshman mixer",
|
|
"A frozen hot dog",
|
|
"A gallon of asparagus pee",
|
|
"A gaping axe wound",
|
|
"A gimp suit made from fried chicken skin",
|
|
"A glittery cock ring",
|
|
"A gray pube",
|
|
"A grilled cheese that looks like Jesus",
|
|
"A guy a bit too much into manscaping",
|
|
"A guy sleeping in an alley",
|
|
"A Haitian tranny hooker",
|
|
"A high school cheerleader",
|
|
"A Hispanic gardener",
|
|
"A hooker with a heart of gold",
|
|
"A horny senior citizen",
|
|
"A hot cop",
|
|
"A hot librarian",
|
|
"A incompetent masseuse",
|
|
"A jizz-encrusted love seat",
|
|
"A jizz-encrusted tube sock",
|
|
"A Korean nail technician",
|
|
"A latex bustier",
|
|
"A leather-clad biker",
|
|
"A life of questionable decisions",
|
|
"A lifetime NRA membership",
|
|
"A lifetime supply of stem cells",
|
|
"A lip piercing",
|
|
"A Liza Minnelli impersonator",
|
|
"A local sex offender",
|
|
"A male underwear model",
|
|
"a moldy loaf of bread",
|
|
"A multiracial orgy",
|
|
"A naked performance artist",
|
|
"A narcoleptic yoga instructor",
|
|
"A naughty nurse",
|
|
"A nude portrait of your spinster aunt",
|
|
"A nymphomaniacal A.I. droid.",
|
|
"A painful hand job",
|
|
"A pair of handcuffs",
|
|
"A pants-les clown",
|
|
"A parrot with a filthy vocabulary",
|
|
"A peckerwood.",
|
|
"A perky Sunday school teacher",
|
|
"A picnic basket full of dead rats",
|
|
"A pig in a wedding dress",
|
|
"A Ping-Pong paddle",
|
|
"A pizza delivery driver",
|
|
"A plate of half-eaten cockroaches",
|
|
"A platinum-blonde wig",
|
|
"A Playboy centerfold from June 1969",
|
|
"A porn actress looking to go legit",
|
|
"A portable drill",
|
|
"A priest with a van and some comic books",
|
|
"A professional wrestler",
|
|
"A prom dumpster baby",
|
|
"A quart of spoiled milk",
|
|
"A recently used toilt brush",
|
|
"A remote control Japanese sex robot",
|
|
"A riding crop",
|
|
"A Russian mail-order bride",
|
|
"A rusty fishhook",
|
|
"A rusty trombone",
|
|
"A sack full of hungry rats",
|
|
"A sad dominatrix",
|
|
"A satin blindfold",
|
|
"A sausage fest",
|
|
"A secret stash of comic books",
|
|
"A sequel to The Diary of Anne Frank",
|
|
"A severed finger",
|
|
"A sex tape involving your grandparents",
|
|
"A sexually active zombie",
|
|
"A sexy coroner",
|
|
"A shaved scrotum",
|
|
"A sideshow freak",
|
|
"A silver bullet",
|
|
"A slightly ripe corpse",
|
|
"A slutty training bra",
|
|
"A soiled undershirt worn by an overweight construction worker",
|
|
"A stoner with the munchies",
|
|
"A stripper with a prosthetic leg",
|
|
"A studded dog collar",
|
|
"A stunning blouse and matching purse",
|
|
"A suitcase filled with used condoms",
|
|
"A surly homecoming queen runner-up",
|
|
"A swamp filled with redneck corpses",
|
|
"A swimming pool filled with Jell-O",
|
|
"A syphilitic hobo",
|
|
"A teacup pig",
|
|
"A teen mom",
|
|
"A too-eager scout leader",
|
|
"A trailer full of illegal immigrants",
|
|
"A trampy garter belt and fishnet stockings",
|
|
"A truck stop bathroom",
|
|
"A tube of K-Y jelly",
|
|
"A U.S. senator still in the closet",
|
|
"A vaccine against being gay",
|
|
"A vending machine filled with used panties",
|
|
"A Vespa",
|
|
"A Victoria's Secret model",
|
|
"A virile pastor",
|
|
"A woman protesting outside an abortion clinic",
|
|
"A year's supply of Viagra",
|
|
"A young Charlie Manson",
|
|
"A youth minister",
|
|
"Adam Sandler",
|
|
"Afternoon hummers",
|
|
"All-you-can-eat douche pickles",
|
|
"Amanda Bynes",
|
|
"Amazeballs",
|
|
"An 80-year-old Batman",
|
|
"An 80-year-old GILF",
|
|
"An accountant with a diaper fetish",
|
|
"An adventurous hamster",
|
|
"An AK-47",
|
|
"An Alcoholic Anonymous shot glass",
|
|
"An anatomicaly correct doll",
|
|
"An angry bird",
|
|
"An annoying improv actress",
|
|
"An anorexic supermodel",
|
|
"An antique tampon",
|
|
"An automatic milking machine",
|
|
"An elderly home's hot tub",
|
|
"An exciting new strain of herpes",
|
|
"An exotic dancer with big dreams",
|
|
"An experimental sorority sister",
|
|
"An extra-sparkly vampire",
|
|
"An instructional video on cornholing",
|
|
"An iron screwdriver",
|
|
"An obscene podcast",
|
|
"An open-minded truck driver",
|
|
"An overeager high school drama teacher",
|
|
"An overfilled colostomy bag",
|
|
"An urn filled with grandpa's ashes",
|
|
"Assless chaps",
|
|
"Aunt Flo",
|
|
"Axe body spray",
|
|
"Bell bottom jeans",
|
|
"Benedict Cumberbatch",
|
|
"Betty White",
|
|
"Beyonce",
|
|
"Bill Clinton and his cigar",
|
|
"Bill Cosby",
|
|
"Bill Muray",
|
|
"Black rubber gloves",
|
|
"Blissful ignorance",
|
|
"Bruce Jenner after the transition",
|
|
"Candied yams",
|
|
"Charlie Sheen's life coach",
|
|
"Cher",
|
|
"Clam chowder",
|
|
"Condoleezza Rice",
|
|
"Cotton candy flavored lube",
|
|
"Crotchless panties",
|
|
"Dad's \"homemade gravy\"",
|
|
"Derek Jeter",
|
|
"Douche-flavored ketchup",
|
|
"Edible body paint",
|
|
"Emma Stone",
|
|
"Erotic poetry written by your dad",
|
|
"Eternal regret",
|
|
"Fairy dust",
|
|
"Falsies",
|
|
"Freddy Krueger",
|
|
"George Clooney's musk.",
|
|
"Granny panties",
|
|
"Identical twins",
|
|
"Iggy Azalea",
|
|
"Japanese tentacle porn",
|
|
"Jared Leto in a powder blue tuxedo",
|
|
"Jimmy Fallon",
|
|
"John Travolta",
|
|
"Justin Bieber after two hard ciders",
|
|
"Kanye West",
|
|
"Kate Upton",
|
|
"Katy Perry",
|
|
"Kevin Hart",
|
|
"Late-night cable nudity",
|
|
"LeBron James",
|
|
"Liam Neeson",
|
|
"Louie C.K.",
|
|
"Madonna",
|
|
"Mel Gibson",
|
|
"Michael Jackson's personal diary",
|
|
"Miss Tractor Pull Nebraska 2006",
|
|
"Mom's homemade gravy",
|
|
"Mother Nature",
|
|
"Mrs. Claus",
|
|
"Naked photographs of obese clowns",
|
|
"Nicolas Cage",
|
|
"One of those Buckingham Palace guards",
|
|
"Oprah Winfrey at her heaviest",
|
|
"Paint thinner",
|
|
"President of the Senior Class",
|
|
"Princess Kate",
|
|
"Radioactive foreskin",
|
|
"Raodhead",
|
|
"Rocky Mountain oysters",
|
|
"Rosemary's Baby",
|
|
"Scarlett Johansson",
|
|
"Seven minutes in heaven",
|
|
"Shirtless Rush Limbaugh",
|
|
"Silk boxers",
|
|
"Sister Mary Madeline",
|
|
"Soiled boxers",
|
|
"Solange Knowles",
|
|
"Super-spicy salsa",
|
|
"Taylor Swift music.",
|
|
"That crappy ribbon candy your grandma always had",
|
|
"That guy that quotes all the lines from The Godfather",
|
|
"That one girl everyone hates",
|
|
"That redhead from that one commercial",
|
|
"That weird guy in class",
|
|
"The artistic James Franco",
|
|
"The babysitter",
|
|
"The bald Britney Spears",
|
|
"The Big Lebowski",
|
|
"The complete Nickelback discography",
|
|
"The creepy uncle no one likes to talk to",
|
|
"The Duck Dynasty guy",
|
|
"The dumbest guy in the room right now",
|
|
"The easiest woman in the room right now",
|
|
"The first female president",
|
|
"The first pick in the scumbag draft",
|
|
"The Fluffer of the Year",
|
|
"The girl next door",
|
|
"The jagged shards of a shattered iPhone screen",
|
|
"The Kama Sutra",
|
|
"The Karate Kid",
|
|
"The last cigarette in the pack",
|
|
"The least attractive Kardashian sister",
|
|
"The mayor of Gimptown",
|
|
"The Olsen twins",
|
|
"The player to your right",
|
|
"The player you like the least in the room",
|
|
"The Queen of England",
|
|
"The sexy ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt",
|
|
"The smartest of the Bush boys",
|
|
"The tears of a widow",
|
|
"The valedictorian of your high school class",
|
|
"The World's Most Interesting Man",
|
|
"The world's oldest practitioner of the world's oldest profession",
|
|
"The world's tallest midget",
|
|
"Three pounds of horse meat",
|
|
"Tom Brady's deflated balls",
|
|
"Tom Cuise",
|
|
"Tyler Perry",
|
|
"Unicorn meat",
|
|
"Urine-soaked bed sheets",
|
|
"Vintage pornography",
|
|
"Vladimir Putin making love to a Siberian tiger.",
|
|
"What we think is meatloaf",
|
|
"Your best friend's mom",
|
|
"Your best friend's sister",
|
|
"Your dad's first mistress",
|
|
"Your daughter from the future",
|
|
"Your kid brother",
|
|
"Your long-lost twin brother",
|
|
"Your older sister's hand-me-down thong",
|
|
"Your sinister nephew",
|
|
"Your sister's best friend",
|
|
"Bank bailouts",
|
|
"Brexit",
|
|
"Covfefe",
|
|
"Furries",
|
|
"Gerrymandering",
|
|
"Kickstarter®",
|
|
"Loan sharks or left sharks, whichever",
|
|
"Mexico",
|
|
"Moon rocks",
|
|
"Pizzagate",
|
|
"Yoga pants",
|
|
"...then the penis is inserted into the vagina.",
|
|
"#BlackLivesMatter rally.",
|
|
"∩ (O_O) ∩",
|
|
"$300 worth of vanilla yogurt.",
|
|
"100% accurate gaydar.",
|
|
"70's porn complete with a hairy bush.",
|
|
"72 virgins and 1 mission.",
|
|
"9/11 was an inside job.",
|
|
"A 15 minute blowjob... No more, no less.",
|
|
"A 300 horsepower, turbo charged vibrator.",
|
|
"A BBW woman wearing the Confederate Flag as a dress.",
|
|
"A blind kid throwing hand grenades.",
|
|
"A bowl of candy.",
|
|
"A care bear riding a dildo shaped rocket over a rainbow.",
|
|
"A country song.",
|
|
"A documentary about the sex lives of blue butt monkeys.",
|
|
"A dog.",
|
|
"A dramatic reading of a social media comments fight.",
|
|
"A family of raccoons hell bent on destruction.",
|
|
"A firm grip and soft hands.",
|
|
"A firmly pressed pair of whitey tighties for formal occasions.",
|
|
"A flaccid penis limper than wet cabbage.",
|
|
"A fudge packing chocolatier.",
|
|
"A giant meteor to collide with Earth.",
|
|
"A giant penis.",
|
|
"A group hug in a nudist colony.",
|
|
"A Klondike Bar®.",
|
|
"A lifetime supply of Cheerios®.",
|
|
"A Lightsaber® shaped dildo.",
|
|
"A male nipple I thought was a female nipple.",
|
|
"A mariachi band covering Metallica.",
|
|
"A might with Bill Cosby... so good you can't remember.",
|
|
"A militant group of Girl Scouts®.",
|
|
"A mixture of wine and prescription pain killers.",
|
|
"A new pair of shoes.",
|
|
"A personally engraved crack spoon.",
|
|
"A pimp slap from your uncle.",
|
|
"A political debate moderated by Elmo®.",
|
|
"A rainbow lightsaber.",
|
|
"A rim job and a snowcone.",
|
|
"A row of penises down your back like a stegasouras.",
|
|
"A serious mental disability.",
|
|
"A sexually frustrated stuffed animal.",
|
|
"A small child's eery laughter.",
|
|
"A small country house with enough land to bury the evidence.",
|
|
"A sober Irishman.",
|
|
"A speedo, a small dick, and a hairy chest.",
|
|
"A successful black man.",
|
|
"A Tea Party Orgy hosted by Sarah Palin.",
|
|
"A Tinder® date who makes conversation by asking about your show size.",
|
|
"A vascectomy my wife doesn't know about.",
|
|
"A woman telling a man how to do it correctly.",
|
|
"Absolutely fucking nothing.",
|
|
"Accidentally sexting your parents.",
|
|
"Accidentally walking into a locker room full of horny WNBA® players.",
|
|
"Aggressive slam poetry.",
|
|
"Akwardly finishing your story.",
|
|
"An AR-15 under the pillow and a grenade launcher behind the toilet.",
|
|
"An emotional break down in front of your co-workers.",
|
|
"An erotic drink order.",
|
|
"An honorary doctorate from Trump University.",
|
|
"An ounce of class and a pound of assholery.",
|
|
"An overly aggressive Canadian.",
|
|
"An STD and a child support settlement.",
|
|
"Analingus.",
|
|
"Any Adam Sandler Movie after 2005.",
|
|
"Appearing to work hard while not actually doing anything.",
|
|
"Arizona State University®.",
|
|
"Asking for her age and she tells you she's only 16.",
|
|
"Assuring women's rights are never equal to men's.",
|
|
"Back hair so thick a pigeon made a nest in it.",
|
|
"Back to back MVP, Stephen Curry.",
|
|
"Balls deep in the local priest.",
|
|
"Barging in like the Kool-Aid® man.",
|
|
"Bear mace as taco seasoning.",
|
|
"Beastiality.",
|
|
"Being a white female.",
|
|
"Being an emotional whore while being a real whore.",
|
|
"Being black in the United States.",
|
|
"Being blamed for things I didn't do.",
|
|
"Being eskimo brothers with your father-in-law.",
|
|
"Being more inbred than a turkey sandwich.",
|
|
"Bending her over her mom's reading chair.",
|
|
"Better late than never.",
|
|
"Black hair, black nails, black clothes and pretending my mother doesn't love me.",
|
|
"Blind hairdressers.",
|
|
"Blowing out your birthday candles with a queef.",
|
|
"Booty.",
|
|
"Breakfast.",
|
|
"Breaking into a house to steal a cute puppy.",
|
|
"Bringing chip dip to the party.",
|
|
"Brock Turner \"helping\" a passed out girl at the party.",
|
|
"Bruises I can't explain.",
|
|
"Burning the house down to kill a spider.",
|
|
"Buy low, sell high.",
|
|
"Buying a hooker for your friend's birthday but deciding to take her home yourself.",
|
|
"Buying drugs from the chemistry teacher.",
|
|
"C-cups. On a man.",
|
|
"Calling off the wedding because the best man got caught fucking the groom.",
|
|
"Cargo pants.",
|
|
"Carrying all the groceries from the car in one load.",
|
|
"Catch all this shit rolling down hill.",
|
|
"Certified pre-owned underwear.",
|
|
"Chapstick®.",
|
|
"Charlie Sheen.",
|
|
"Childrens toys rescued from Chernobyl.",
|
|
"Chocolate covered wasabi peas.",
|
|
"Chris Brown's Fight Night.",
|
|
"Christmas decorations on November 1st.",
|
|
"Chronic erectile dysfunction.",
|
|
"Clearing your search history.",
|
|
"Cleveland, Ohio! Where the rules are made up and the points don't matter.",
|
|
"CNN's 24 hour news coverage of the end of the world.",
|
|
"Co-ed locker room showers.",
|
|
"Cocaine infused K-Cups®.",
|
|
"Cock rings and free bank lollipops.",
|
|
"Coming home with dirty hooker stench.",
|
|
"Communion waffers.",
|
|
"Complicated math equations.",
|
|
"Confused construction workers.",
|
|
"Conquer the world, feed the hungry and finally put an end to Oxford commas.",
|
|
"Constipation with so much pressure the poop turns to diamonds.",
|
|
"Consuming an edible before work.",
|
|
"Continuing to party despite a potentially serious injury.",
|
|
"Cornhole 101: just drop it in the hole.",
|
|
"Covering your ears and screaming.",
|
|
"Crack baby basketball.",
|
|
"Cropdusting a group of quadriplegics.",
|
|
"Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders®.",
|
|
"David Cameron's penis in a pig's mouth.",
|
|
"Daycare services at the workplace.",
|
|
"Dead legs from sitting on the toilet for too long.",
|
|
"Deciphering a web captcha.",
|
|
"Deep colon cleaning.",
|
|
"Dial-up internet.",
|
|
"Dickbutt. [A chibi drawing of Dickbutt]",
|
|
"Dickforce.",
|
|
"Disciplining your roomba in front of your dogs.",
|
|
"Discount liquor stores.",
|
|
"Divorce lawyer's contact information.",
|
|
"Donkey punch.",
|
|
"Dr. Zoidberg.",
|
|
"Drug fueled orgies.",
|
|
"Drunk texting your ex.",
|
|
"Duck hunt with Oscar Pistorius.",
|
|
"Dutch oven my significant other.",
|
|
"Eating ice cream with a fork.",
|
|
"Eating junk food but not gaining weight.",
|
|
"Eating peanut butter from the jar with a spoon.",
|
|
"Eating warm yellow snow.",
|
|
"Eight consecutive days of vacation.",
|
|
"Embarrassing profile pictures from my teens.",
|
|
"Emoji card 1",
|
|
"Emoji card 2",
|
|
"Enjoying a good ol' 69 after a workout.",
|
|
"Everthing south of the Mason Dixon Line.",
|
|
"Excusing yourself from jury duty.",
|
|
"Expensive dental work.",
|
|
"Explaining to your grandmother that a butt dial and a booty call are two very different things.",
|
|
"Exploring my sexuality with a couch pillow.",
|
|
"Eye contact with your doctor during the entire physical exam.",
|
|
"Faking your own death to avoid a second date.",
|
|
"Fart to assert my dominance.",
|
|
"Farting and blaming the dog.",
|
|
"Father-daughter wedding dances.",
|
|
"Feeding the victims to the pigs.",
|
|
"Feeling it's necessary to express your political views on social media.",
|
|
"Ferguson riots.",
|
|
"Filming the girl next door...",
|
|
"Findig your missing cat on the menu at a Chinese restaurant.",
|
|
"Finding a home video of your parents during sexy time.",
|
|
"Finding out your in-laws are into extreme scrapbooking.",
|
|
"Finger painting with Kanye West.",
|
|
"Fingering Mario Lopez.",
|
|
"Fire-crotch.",
|
|
"Flight 370.",
|
|
"Flowers, sunshine and kittens.",
|
|
"Foot fetishes.",
|
|
"For $20 more you can add a happy ending to your vasectomy.",
|
|
"Frankenblues.",
|
|
"Free-range baby day care.",
|
|
"From your head to your toes.",
|
|
"Frustrated spooning.",
|
|
"Fucking bitches and getting money.",
|
|
"Furry fetish.",
|
|
"Gerard Butler's abs.",
|
|
"Germany invading Russia in the summer.",
|
|
"Getting a blumpkin while eating a spicy taco.",
|
|
"Getting caucus-blocked by Ted Cruz.",
|
|
"Getting laid at a family reunion.",
|
|
"Getting seduced by your Uber® driver.",
|
|
"Ghetto.",
|
|
"Gilbert Godfrey.",
|
|
"Gluten free pretentiousness.",
|
|
"Going commando at my best friend's wedding.",
|
|
"Going in unprotected.",
|
|
"Going to bed early.",
|
|
"Going to the movies by yourself.",
|
|
"Grabbing back boob when you meant to grab front boob.",
|
|
"Grandma folding your edible underwear.",
|
|
"Great job!",
|
|
"Gross negligence.",
|
|
"Group sexting with your girlfriend and her mom.",
|
|
"Gweneth Paltrow's head.",
|
|
"Hacktavist group Anonymous.",
|
|
"HaHa Clinton-Dix.",
|
|
"Hand-me-down anal beads from your grandmother.",
|
|
"Hanging out by myself.",
|
|
"Having a wet dream about Finding Nemo®.",
|
|
"Hearing your parents copulate.",
|
|
"Hilary Clinton in a tube top and assless chaps.",
|
|
"Hitting all the right spots.",
|
|
"Homeless people everywhere.",
|
|
"How your daughter got pregnant.",
|
|
"Hugh Hefner. Enough said.",
|
|
"I remember my first beer.",
|
|
"I'm not racist. My girlfriend is black.",
|
|
"I'm still a virgin.",
|
|
"If you don't pick my card, you can go fuck yourself.",
|
|
"Incurable social anxiety and toxic flatulence.",
|
|
"Insurmountable student debt.",
|
|
"Intentionally handling jalapeno peppers before masturbating.",
|
|
"Interracial curling.",
|
|
"Inviting the pool boy in for a glass of water.",
|
|
"Is hunting Hipsters really that bad?",
|
|
"It could be a bag of nails, it could be a bag of kittens.",
|
|
"It's like Grindr® for people who like to cross stitch.",
|
|
"James Earl Jones narrating your masturbation.",
|
|
"Jessica Biel.",
|
|
"Jewish Christmas.",
|
|
"Jimi Hendrix.",
|
|
"Johnny Manziel and Roger Goodell in disguise in Vegas.",
|
|
"Jonah Hill riding naked on a valiant steed.",
|
|
"Justin Beiber's hairless chest.",
|
|
"Kim Jong-Un and his sexual partner, Dennis Rodman.",
|
|
"Knee high socks.",
|
|
"Knitting sweaters for homeless dogs.",
|
|
"Ladyboy Thai hookers.",
|
|
"Last ditch effort to get out of the ghetto.",
|
|
"Leaving your shopping cart in the parking lot beside the cart area.",
|
|
"Lebron James trying REALLY hard to be Michael Jordan.",
|
|
"Lebron James.",
|
|
"Letting Jesus touch you in ways you later describe to a jury.",
|
|
"Lil' Bow Wow.",
|
|
"Listening to idiots complain about their privileged lives.",
|
|
"Living a normal life.",
|
|
"Living off of my significant other and paying rent with sexual favors.",
|
|
"Losing your life savings on a single hand of black jack.",
|
|
"Lying to a jury to protect a drug dealer.",
|
|
"Mainlining 800mg of testosterone via a penis vein.",
|
|
"Making decisions for myself.",
|
|
"Making money.",
|
|
"Making people with lots of money happy so they give me some.",
|
|
"Marijuana so strong you become one with the couch and meld with the multiverse.",
|
|
"Marriage.",
|
|
"Marrying your step-sister because it's not incest.",
|
|
"Maturbating to a picture of Bill O'Reilly.",
|
|
"Me cago en la leche - it means no worries for the rest of your days!",
|
|
"Mexican Tom Brady.",
|
|
"Michael Vick's mobile pet grooming.",
|
|
"Midget donkey shows.",
|
|
"Mila Kunis in a Meg Griffin outfit.",
|
|
"Miley Cyrus' hairy arm pits.",
|
|
"Minions®: Drugs, Seploitation and Kanye West.",
|
|
"Moby Dick re-written using only emojis.",
|
|
"Monica Lewinksy.",
|
|
"Morgan Freeman's silky smooth voice.",
|
|
"Motorboating.",
|
|
"Multiple bottles of lotion in my bathroom.",
|
|
"My father's love and respect.",
|
|
"My first husband.",
|
|
"My grandmother's chronic hemorrhoids.",
|
|
"My own personal stupidity.",
|
|
"My sister's high school yearbook picture.",
|
|
"My solo sex tpe with a grapefruit and an Elmo® puppet.",
|
|
"My wife's fat ass.",
|
|
"Naked hula hooping... with cheerleaders.",
|
|
"Nerds.",
|
|
"New friends.",
|
|
"Not having a smartphone.",
|
|
"Nutella® scented cologne.",
|
|
"Offering public officials money in exchange for favors.",
|
|
"Office ping-pong against the asian.",
|
|
"Officer Delicious.",
|
|
"One horse-sized dick.",
|
|
"One hundred duck-sized horses.",
|
|
"Original thoughts.",
|
|
"Osama Bin Laden.",
|
|
"Painful childhood memories.",
|
|
"Parking in multiple spaces.",
|
|
"Parkinson's patients participating in a synchronized swimming competition.",
|
|
"Patriotic tramps stamps.",
|
|
"Peeing in the sink.",
|
|
"Penis sized nipples.",
|
|
"Peter Dinklage.",
|
|
"Peyton Manning's forehead.",
|
|
"Pikachu® wearing a tutu.",
|
|
"Playing Hot Cross Buns on the recorder.",
|
|
"Praying that bitch gets AIDs.",
|
|
"Pre-crazy Britney Spears (mid 90's to early 00's)",
|
|
"Preofessional napper.",
|
|
"Pubic hair styled into shape of a heart.",
|
|
"Puffy nipples and pale skin.",
|
|
"Puppet sodomy.",
|
|
"Puppies kissing penguins.",
|
|
"Putting a gerbil in a condom and shoving it up your ass.",
|
|
"Putting the dishes in the dishwasher. THE WRONG WAY.",
|
|
"Questionable life choices.",
|
|
"Quite the mouthful.",
|
|
"Race wars.",
|
|
"Racist frat boys from Alabama.",
|
|
"Racist propoganda from the 1960s.",
|
|
"Raging hot, sweaty sex with a co-worker.",
|
|
"Ramen Noodles.",
|
|
"Realizing how wrong you are, but still arguing for the hell of it.",
|
|
"Realizing Jasmine was a boy after you kissed her... him.",
|
|
"Rednecks with a full set of teeth.",
|
|
"Religious fanatic psychopaths.",
|
|
"Revenge cunnilingus... It just feels so good.",
|
|
"Rich kids trying to be hood.",
|
|
"Riding a horse. Naked. Like Gumby.",
|
|
"Role playing with moist towelettes.",
|
|
"Rosey Palm and her five sisters.",
|
|
"Russian roulette by eating expired meats.",
|
|
"Scars resulting from choices that, in hindsight are obviously stupid.",
|
|
"Searching for \"National Geographic® tits\" on the internet.",
|
|
"Seductively eating a burrito.",
|
|
"Seeing your naked reflection while waiting for the porn to load.",
|
|
"Sending your ex-wife a Happy Anniversary card.",
|
|
"Sending your friends links to videos they'll never watch.",
|
|
"Sex ed class.",
|
|
"Sexting with your girlfriend and sending the pic of your side chick.",
|
|
"Sexually abused internet search engines.",
|
|
"Sexually charged debate of the Isreal/Palestine conflict.",
|
|
"Sez on mattress made of berry blue jello.",
|
|
"Shipping the poor off to work camps.",
|
|
"Shitting on the walls of the bathroom stall.",
|
|
"Shooting yourself with small caliber bullets helps build immunity to large bullets.",
|
|
"Sign a contract with Comcast® and kiss your soul goodbye.",
|
|
"Singing YMCA at a KKK rally.",
|
|
"Single ply toilet paper.",
|
|
"Sitting on the toilet playing with a smartphone.",
|
|
"Slapping your sister.",
|
|
"Sleeping like a rock.",
|
|
"Sleeping naked after taking a poop.",
|
|
"Smuggling a kilo of heroin across the border during a religious mission.",
|
|
"Some God damn peace and quiet.",
|
|
"Sometimes it's amazing but usually it's meh.",
|
|
"Spelling words with unnecessary silent letters.",
|
|
"Spending the rest of your life in a bottomless McDonald's® ball pit.",
|
|
"Spending time with your grandparents.",
|
|
"Sperm samples.",
|
|
"Sponge Bob Square Pants Gone Wild: Soaking up spring break.",
|
|
"Standing on the street corner selling Tic-Tacs® to pill junkies.",
|
|
"Staple removers.",
|
|
"Staying at home and masturbating.",
|
|
"Stealing all of the white rice in China.",
|
|
"Sterling Archer.",
|
|
"Sudoku® puzzles with no solutions.",
|
|
"Swiping right on your best friend's brother.",
|
|
"Taco Bell®, the official foor of burning anuses everywhere.",
|
|
"Taking a shit on my neighbor's doorstep.",
|
|
"Taking the dog for a walk during a military coup.",
|
|
"Talking about someone who is not present.",
|
|
"Talking to children about sex.",
|
|
"Tea bagging a co-worker.",
|
|
"Teaching ESL classes using the lost art of miming.",
|
|
"Teenage arrogance.",
|
|
"Teenagers with multimillion dollar recording contracts.",
|
|
"Test driving a used sex toy.",
|
|
"Testosterone.",
|
|
"Thanks Obama.",
|
|
"That guy from Magic Mike.",
|
|
"That's what she said.",
|
|
"The Chief Financial Officer for your company wearing camo cargo shorts and flip flops.",
|
|
"The chosen fluffer for asian porn stars.",
|
|
"The Church of Scientology®.",
|
|
"The Dark Lord Cthulhu.",
|
|
"The Eiffel Tower.",
|
|
"The Fappening.",
|
|
"The First Lady. Naked. I'm not afraid.",
|
|
"The fortress of loneliness.",
|
|
"The Grand Canyon.",
|
|
"The great outdoors.",
|
|
"The grotto.",
|
|
"The inappropriat use \"of\" quotation marks.",
|
|
"The light shining from Bernie Sanders' ass.",
|
|
"The people of Walmart®.",
|
|
"The Seattle Space Needle.",
|
|
"The Secret Window.",
|
|
"The seventh level of Hell, a.k.a. the birthplace of Donald Trump.",
|
|
"The sexcapades of Olympic village.",
|
|
"The worlds largest disco ball.",
|
|
"Theon Greyjoy's man bits.",
|
|
"Those damn bleeding heart liberals.",
|
|
"Threesomes with your ex and their new significant other!",
|
|
"Titties. Sweet, glorious titties.",
|
|
"Toe Fungus.",
|
|
"Transgender operations.",
|
|
"Triumphantly defeating the friend zone.",
|
|
"Trolling Kim Kardashian on Twitter®.",
|
|
"Trying to breast feed a baby with man nipples.",
|
|
"Trying to explain that your Honduran, not Mexican. In Spanish.",
|
|
"Trying to get a license for helicoptering your dick.",
|
|
"Trypophobia - the fear of holes.",
|
|
"Two dogs fighting over a piece of bacon.",
|
|
"Unaccompanied minors.",
|
|
"Unauthorized anal penetration.",
|
|
"Uncircumcised penises.",
|
|
"Uncontrollable diarrhea.",
|
|
"Underboob sweat.",
|
|
"Unisex bathrooms.",
|
|
"Unnecessary prescription drugs.",
|
|
"Untamed pubic hair.",
|
|
"Unwanted asscrack.",
|
|
"Used children's diapers as a non-lethal deterrent during riots.",
|
|
"Using a .gov email adress to sign up for adult dating.",
|
|
"Using a bible as a door stop.",
|
|
"Using a butt plug as a wine stopper.",
|
|
"Using food stamps to buy Champagne.",
|
|
"Using glory holes on a food truck to hand out corn dogs.",
|
|
"Using Grandmother's urn as an ashtray.",
|
|
"Using ketchup as lubricant.",
|
|
"Using Obamacare to get a boob job.",
|
|
"Van Gogh's pornographic moving paintings.",
|
|
"Victoria' Secret® catalogues.",
|
|
"Waking up besides a nun.",
|
|
"Walter White.",
|
|
"Watching Cops to feel good about yourself.",
|
|
"Watching Game of Thrones® with small children.",
|
|
"Wearing a Snuggie® as formal attire.",
|
|
"Whenever we see fit.",
|
|
"Where the bartender knows your name, and your life story and still doesn't fucking care.",
|
|
"Whiskey coolers instead of water coolers at the workplace.",
|
|
"Whiskey neat, a cigar, and a half naked stripper.",
|
|
"White House Chief of Ass.",
|
|
"Wiping your ass with your hand because you're out of toilet paper.",
|
|
"Writing an angry letter to your congressman regarding the deteriorating state of PBS® programming.",
|
|
"X-ray vision.",
|
|
"Your brother.",
|
|
"Your dad's other family. It's a secret.",
|
|
"Your mom's cankles.",
|
|
"Your racist Facebook® friend.",
|
|
"A 9-month denial period",
|
|
"A rock hard erection",
|
|
"A toddler drinking out of a plunger",
|
|
"A viral PornHub video",
|
|
"A weak pull-out game",
|
|
"Babysitter crushes",
|
|
"Being sexually attracted to a cartoon",
|
|
"Being that girl gone wild",
|
|
"Breastfeeding a piranha",
|
|
"Broken condoms and broken dreams",
|
|
"Buying the fancy boxed wine",
|
|
"Cleaning an uncircumcised penis",
|
|
"Crossing my heart and hoping to die",
|
|
"Daydreaming about selling them to gypsies",
|
|
"Discovering your child is the bully",
|
|
"Doing Kegels to tighten up my vag",
|
|
"Drinking heavily to be a better parent",
|
|
"Drinking on the scout camping trip",
|
|
"Expecting it to be all unicorns and rainbows",
|
|
"Explaining daddy's erection",
|
|
"Explaining porn",
|
|
"Explaining your furry kink to the kids",
|
|
"Eye candy at the community pool",
|
|
"F**king selfies",
|
|
"Finding them wearing your leather lingerie",
|
|
"Five uninterrupted minutes to masturbate",
|
|
"Forgetting to take the pill",
|
|
"Getting caught watching online porn",
|
|
"Getting in a quickie while the kids are at soccer practice",
|
|
"Getting too old for this sh*t",
|
|
"Giving in to sex just to stop the begging",
|
|
"Googling if the Safe Haven Law applies to toddlers",
|
|
"Helping them cheat on the SAT",
|
|
"Hooking up at parent-teacher conferences",
|
|
"Hot stay-at-home dads",
|
|
"Keeping them off the sex-stained sheets",
|
|
"Lazy foreplay",
|
|
"Leaking milk during sex",
|
|
"Losing your child at Walmart",
|
|
"Making daddy cry",
|
|
"Making him sleep in the wet spot",
|
|
"Making the kids flush the goldfish",
|
|
"Mastering how to masturbate in silence",
|
|
"Missing your child's big moment because you were looking at your phone",
|
|
"Missionary . . . again",
|
|
"Not really knowing their paternity",
|
|
"Noturnal emissions",
|
|
"Oldest child, practice child",
|
|
"Porn star role models",
|
|
"Princess Aurora working a stripper pole",
|
|
"Realizing they know when you have sex",
|
|
"Saggy old man ass",
|
|
"Secretly happy your ex's kids are ugly",
|
|
"Secretly happy your sibling is getting divorced",
|
|
"Secretly wishing they don't look like your spouse",
|
|
"Sending an Uber to pick up the kids",
|
|
"Seriously considering anal sex after natural childbirth",
|
|
"Sex with an audience",
|
|
"Sexting",
|
|
"Shamelessly flirting with the gay parents",
|
|
"Sifting through my kid's poop to find their first lost tooth",
|
|
"Sleeping off your hangover in the car during Saturday morning practice",
|
|
"Stealing from your kid's piggy bank to buy booze",
|
|
"Teacher cleavage",
|
|
"The day you stop being naked in front of your kid",
|
|
"The half-assed announcement of the 2nd pregnancy",
|
|
"The mailman's baby",
|
|
"The Poison Control app",
|
|
"The sudden realization that your classmate's prom baby is now old enough to drink",
|
|
"Training your kid to get you a beer",
|
|
"Twins . . . again!",
|
|
"Wanting to birth Channing Tatum's love child",
|
|
"When your kids find your anal beads",
|
|
"You're horny, they're asleep",
|
|
"\"Worshipping\" the saints.",
|
|
"A cardboard cutout of Pope St. John Paul II.",
|
|
"A fight between a Dominican and a Franciscan.",
|
|
"A large priest.",
|
|
"A motivating Scripture reading.",
|
|
"A non-Thomist Dominican.",
|
|
"A not so special payer intention.",
|
|
"A promising philosophy degree.",
|
|
"A rejected marriage proposal.",
|
|
"A sexy chastity speaker.",
|
|
"An \"I love my priest\" bumper sticker.",
|
|
"An amateur preacher.",
|
|
"An artisinal podcast.",
|
|
"An empty tomb.",
|
|
"An ongoing homily series.",
|
|
"Anima Technica Vacua.",
|
|
"Asking God for a sign.",
|
|
"Avant-garde jazz.",
|
|
"Awkwardly receiving a gift I don't want.",
|
|
"Baby Boomers.",
|
|
"Beefing with Catholic speakers on Twitter.",
|
|
"Being a dumb ox.",
|
|
"Being a fallen, broken human creature.",
|
|
"Being a sheep.",
|
|
"Being an aspiring beekeeper.",
|
|
"Being attacked by swine.",
|
|
"Being awake and sober.",
|
|
"Being brutally honest about my feelings.",
|
|
"Being forced against my will to listen to The Crunch.",
|
|
"Being in adoration with a loud breather.",
|
|
"Being shirtless in the confessional again.",
|
|
"Being single in my 30s.",
|
|
"Being too good at prayer.",
|
|
"Being worth many sparrows.",
|
|
"Blaming my problems on my thyroid.",
|
|
"Blaming Ockam.",
|
|
"Blesed Vegemite.",
|
|
"Buying clams at Long John Silver's during Lent.",
|
|
"Calling Jesus my mate.",
|
|
"Cathedrals.",
|
|
"Cathilic Twitter.",
|
|
"Catholic adult coloring books.",
|
|
"Catholics that cuss.",
|
|
"Celebrating Mothering Sunday AND Mother's Day.",
|
|
"Censoring Game of Thrones.",
|
|
"Clever Catholic shirts.",
|
|
"Collecting taxes.",
|
|
"Constantly functioning on 4 hours of sleep.",
|
|
"Contemplating predetination.",
|
|
"Coughing loudly to let the priest know to wrap it up.",
|
|
"Dan Brown novels.",
|
|
"Dancing Nuns.",
|
|
"Deliverance ministry.",
|
|
"Disapointed Jesus.",
|
|
"Disney taking all my money.",
|
|
"Disturbingly European Jesus.",
|
|
"Drawing Jesus as an anime character.",
|
|
"Drinking coffee out of a beer stein.",
|
|
"Dunking the baby for baptism.",
|
|
"Eating cereal as fast as you can an hour before Mass.",
|
|
"Encountering me.",
|
|
"Enjoying Christian films.",
|
|
"Evangelizing to kangaroos.",
|
|
"Evolving a labyrinthine vagina.",
|
|
"Flying buttresses.",
|
|
"Frantically cleaning before a priest comes over for dinner.",
|
|
"Frantically texting my spiritual director asking for confession ASAP.",
|
|
"Gently tossing Michael Vorris' \"hair.\"",
|
|
"Getting an S.T.D.",
|
|
"Getting into Catholic speaking for the money.",
|
|
"Getting much fatter after Fat Tuesday.",
|
|
"Getting that retreat high.",
|
|
"Giving amazing advice to all my friends.",
|
|
"Giving up The Office for Lent.",
|
|
"Going to Mass at noon.",
|
|
"Having a nice ash... cross.",
|
|
"Having a painful disease in my loins.",
|
|
"Having a pint with Aquinas.",
|
|
"Having a stroke.",
|
|
"Having a superior complex.",
|
|
"Having Catholic guilt.",
|
|
"Having priests as friends.",
|
|
"Having the appetite of Aquinas.",
|
|
"Having two feast days.",
|
|
"Having ugly feet.",
|
|
"Heretical tweets.",
|
|
"Hiding miraculous medals in a Protestant church.",
|
|
"Hiring murderers as religious leaders.",
|
|
"Humble bragging.",
|
|
"Idolatry.",
|
|
"Jesus coming down from Heaven riding on a slide.",
|
|
"Jesus's death.",
|
|
"Justifying a bar crawl as \"evangelization.\"",
|
|
"Knitting.",
|
|
"Knowing more rap lyrics than Bible verses.",
|
|
"Knowing my future husband is in seminary.",
|
|
"Knowing that vinyl records are worse than CDs.",
|
|
"Knowing the difference between dulia, hyperdulia, and latria.",
|
|
"Knowing too much about cervical mucus.",
|
|
"Leaving the European Union.",
|
|
"Leggings.",
|
|
"Lifting all yachts equally.",
|
|
"Living a moderate life.",
|
|
"Lying to my kids about Santa.",
|
|
"Making incredible puns.",
|
|
"Marital intimacy.",
|
|
"Matt Fradd.",
|
|
"Meeting God face to face and realizing how dumb I am.",
|
|
"Misquoting the saints.",
|
|
"Not knowing how to respond when someone says \"God bless!\"",
|
|
"Not knowing the difference between a dating fast and speed dating.",
|
|
"Not making any friends at a Church mixer.",
|
|
"Not using my phone on the toilet.",
|
|
"Only believing in science.",
|
|
"Only drinking sippable beer.",
|
|
"Our Lady of Flimbo Flambo.",
|
|
"Pascal's Wager.",
|
|
"Playing the Didgeridoo at Mass.",
|
|
"Pope Michael.",
|
|
"Post-Evangelical Protestants.",
|
|
"Praise & Worship pump up songs.",
|
|
"Praising God through whom all blessings flow.",
|
|
"Preachy teenage musicians.",
|
|
"Preparing for Mass with the wrong readings.",
|
|
"Priests wearing \"rose\" vestments.",
|
|
"Pure, unadulterated evil.",
|
|
"Questionable bromances.",
|
|
"Rad Trads.",
|
|
"Radical hospitality.",
|
|
"Reading The Porn Myth in public.",
|
|
"Recieving the Eucharist in hand.",
|
|
"Retreating to the mountains.",
|
|
"Scouting for disciples.",
|
|
"Scrupulosity.",
|
|
"Seein beauty in everything.",
|
|
"Seeing Jesus in my toast.",
|
|
"Shorts that don't reach below the fingertips.",
|
|
"Social media evangelization.",
|
|
"Speed praying for intentions in the silence of my heart.",
|
|
"St. Michael the Archangel.",
|
|
"St. Peter",
|
|
"Staying up until midnight to eat meat during Lent.",
|
|
"Steubenville.",
|
|
"Supporting every Catholic on Patreon.",
|
|
"Taking a rip from my Juul to relate to the youth.",
|
|
"Taking a selfie with the Pope.",
|
|
"Terrible Catholic podcasts.",
|
|
"That one rebellious youth group kid.",
|
|
"The Ascencion.",
|
|
"The complimentarity of men and women.",
|
|
"The fine cuisine of locusts and honey.",
|
|
"The Five Proofs for God's existence.",
|
|
"The Great Fast.",
|
|
"The Monk Life.",
|
|
"The Pharisees talking AGAIN.",
|
|
"The Spanish Inquisition.",
|
|
"The theology of my body.",
|
|
"The Theotokos.",
|
|
"The un-intellectual life.",
|
|
"thousand year old eggs",
|
|
"Using discerning religious life to get out of a relationship.",
|
|
"Waiting to drink until I'm 21.",
|
|
"Wedding receptions at the Knights of Columbus hall.",
|
|
"Winning arguments left and right.",
|
|
"Working for the Church.",
|
|
"Yet another Crusade.",
|
|
"Young adult events without alcohol.",
|
|
"A dozen spiders crawling up your leg.",
|
|
"A golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.",
|
|
"A lip-synch battle to the death.",
|
|
"A one-way ticket to Mars.",
|
|
"A sad face emoji, a happy face emoji, and a poop emoji.",
|
|
"A secret Valentine.",
|
|
"An app that instantly makes your parents stop nagging you.",
|
|
"An endless loop of Elmo singing \"Elmo's World®.\"",
|
|
"Bad B.O. on the first day of school.",
|
|
"Becoming the new, lucky owner of Harry Potter's™ wand.",
|
|
"Being forced to clean up all the gum stuck to the bottom of a desk.",
|
|
"Bikini Bottom.",
|
|
"Breaking the world record for the longest poop known to mankind.",
|
|
"Calling shotgun.",
|
|
"Chocolate covered cockroaches.",
|
|
"Computer Engineer Barbie®.",
|
|
"Cookie dough on a cone.",
|
|
"Corn dogs.",
|
|
"Doing flips into a giant bowl of rainbow-colored cotton candy.",
|
|
"Donald Duck whispering \"marshmallow.\"",
|
|
"Donald Trump hair.",
|
|
"Dressing up like Lady Gaga.",
|
|
"Eating breakfast for dinner everyday.",
|
|
"Four hours in the mall with Mom's credit card.",
|
|
"Hacking up a loogie.",
|
|
"Hummus.",
|
|
"Jumping rope with a bunch of worms tied together.",
|
|
"Making friends with the neighbors just because they have a pool.",
|
|
"Mistaking a glue stick for Chapstick®.",
|
|
"My dad taking the wrong cat for surgery.",
|
|
"Pickles.",
|
|
"Prank calling my dad.",
|
|
"Putting tape on your nose to make a pig snout.",
|
|
"Resenting getting kicked out of the room when Game of Thrones comes on.",
|
|
"Running around barefoot in the rain.",
|
|
"Running away with the circus.",
|
|
"Serena Williams.",
|
|
"Singing \"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious\" in German.",
|
|
"Sleeping in every day.",
|
|
"Smelling someone before you see them.",
|
|
"Spam.",
|
|
"Starbucks®.",
|
|
"That boring friend who stalks you everyday.",
|
|
"The dessert section in Trader Joe's®.",
|
|
"The Ice Bucket Challenge.",
|
|
"The inventor of the toilet.",
|
|
"The last days of school.",
|
|
"The most painful splinter.",
|
|
"The ultimate glow-in-the-dark, green glitter, coconut-scented slime.",
|
|
"Tofurky®.",
|
|
"Waking up to Mom pulling your toes and cracking them.",
|
|
"Watching me whip and nae-nae.",
|
|
"Wearing an invisibility cloak into the principal's office.",
|
|
"Witnessing a little girl turning into an apricot.",
|
|
"12-hour Netflix marathons",
|
|
"1st place in the talent show",
|
|
"70-year-olds who are in better shape than me",
|
|
"A blimp advertising hair regrowth",
|
|
"A bowl cut",
|
|
"A Boy Scouts' camping trip gone wrong",
|
|
"A breath of fresh air",
|
|
"A brother from another mother",
|
|
"A bulging merit badge",
|
|
"A Canadian otter",
|
|
"A cat on a leash",
|
|
"A Chia Pet",
|
|
"A child prodigy",
|
|
"A child's laughter",
|
|
"A combover",
|
|
"A cough that lasts for 7 weeks",
|
|
"A dark and stormy night",
|
|
"A doctorate degree in ufology",
|
|
"A doorway to Narnia",
|
|
"A family union",
|
|
"A fire-breathing chipmunk",
|
|
"A fitness kick (This too shall pass.)",
|
|
"a freezer-burned casserole",
|
|
"A friendly game of \"Who Can Annoy the Other Person More?\"",
|
|
"A fully balanced breakfast",
|
|
"A game of miniature golf for all the marbles",
|
|
"A girls-night-out with my mother-in-law",
|
|
"A glorious burst of sunlight through clouds",
|
|
"A hat much too small for my head",
|
|
"A heartfelt apology",
|
|
"A heartwarming greeting card",
|
|
"A hidden agenda",
|
|
"A hilarious bumper sticker",
|
|
"A hive of hornets",
|
|
"A horse named Destiny",
|
|
"A karaoke solo",
|
|
"A land of plenty",
|
|
"A lost Shakespearean play",
|
|
"A Lunchable. Pizza kind.",
|
|
"A minimal skill set",
|
|
"A misunderstood villian",
|
|
"A never-ending to-do list",
|
|
"A party ruined by food allergies",
|
|
"A peg leg",
|
|
"A pet turtle",
|
|
"A poltergeist",
|
|
"A poor British accent",
|
|
"A precious panda bear screensaver",
|
|
"A quality female role model",
|
|
"A really long shower",
|
|
"A resounding high five",
|
|
"A romantic spark",
|
|
"A room full of Polly Pockets that I have to clean",
|
|
"A sabre-toothed tiger",
|
|
"A selective memory",
|
|
"A sensational sunrise",
|
|
"A shiny penny",
|
|
"A spider so big it could eat a man",
|
|
"A startingly high-pitched voice",
|
|
"A technicolor dreamcoat",
|
|
"A two-for-one coupon at Sizzlers",
|
|
"A vampire romance novel",
|
|
"A vat of chocolate chip cookie dough",
|
|
"A very sensitive ego",
|
|
"A weak gag reflex",
|
|
"A weak grasp on reality",
|
|
"A wedding reception. Again.",
|
|
"A wish come true",
|
|
"A yellow submarine",
|
|
"Accompanying the choir with a harmonica",
|
|
"Adulthood",
|
|
"Aggressive kiosk workers",
|
|
"Airplane stories",
|
|
"All things divine",
|
|
"All things that creepeth",
|
|
"An acquired taste",
|
|
"An aggressive game of spoons",
|
|
"An alarming sense of direction",
|
|
"An archery contest between Legolas, Hawkeye, Katniss, and Robin Hood",
|
|
"An assorted box of chocolates",
|
|
"An aversion to dairy",
|
|
"An awkward hug/handshake exchange",
|
|
"An awkward musical number",
|
|
"An endless wave of puppies",
|
|
"An entire game of Monopoly",
|
|
"An HGTV addiction",
|
|
"An impressive balancing act",
|
|
"AN impulsive need to avoid stepping on cracks at all costs",
|
|
"An insect collection",
|
|
"An intense phobia of flying squirrels",
|
|
"An outift that does not disappoint me",
|
|
"An overactive imagination",
|
|
"An overwhelming cat odor",
|
|
"An unruly stench",
|
|
"AP calculus",
|
|
"Appendicitis",
|
|
"Awkward silences at dinner with the in-laws",
|
|
"Backpacking through the Australian Outback",
|
|
"Bad puns",
|
|
"Baklava-from the neighbors",
|
|
"Band practice",
|
|
"Batman's voice",
|
|
"Baymax",
|
|
"Bedazzling",
|
|
"Being alone",
|
|
"Being dead serious",
|
|
"Being hungry at the grocery store",
|
|
"Being the most attractive person in the room",
|
|
"Being unable to accept that the number pi is without end",
|
|
"Being wholly unimpressed",
|
|
"Belly button lint",
|
|
"Biffing it on the Slip 'N Slide",
|
|
"Big Brother",
|
|
"Big ideas",
|
|
"Blasphemy",
|
|
"Bono",
|
|
"Breakfast for dinner",
|
|
"Broken promises",
|
|
"Bubblegum-flavored toothpaste",
|
|
"Camp songs",
|
|
"Caroline Bingley",
|
|
"Celine Dion",
|
|
"Charlie Brown",
|
|
"Chocolate rabbits",
|
|
"Choking on Pixy Stix dust as I dump it down my throat",
|
|
"Christian rock",
|
|
"Christmas beyond compare",
|
|
"Chubby cheeks",
|
|
"Cold pizza",
|
|
"Coleslaw",
|
|
"College tuition",
|
|
"Coming home from college to find my room was given away to my younger siblings and I've been forgotten",
|
|
"Conflicting personalities",
|
|
"Congratulatory snaps",
|
|
"Cranking the stereo when Josh Groban comes on",
|
|
"Crime dramas",
|
|
"Critically acclaimed films",
|
|
"Crunch Berries",
|
|
"Customer service representatives",
|
|
"Daddy issues",
|
|
"Dancing to my favorite song like I ain't ever gonna stop",
|
|
"Deep conversations",
|
|
"Diet Coke",
|
|
"Disney movies",
|
|
"Dogs in sweaters",
|
|
"Donald Trump",
|
|
"Donny Osmond",
|
|
"Door-to-door salesmen",
|
|
"Drawing a mustache on Dad as he snores",
|
|
"Dreams of being a Formula 500 racer",
|
|
"Dressing up as Dobby for the Harry Potter movie release",
|
|
"Dropping and breaking a jar of pickles into a million pieces and wondering what I did to the universe to deserve this",
|
|
"Drying asphalt",
|
|
"Duct tape patch job",
|
|
"Eating a 20-serving bag of chips in one sitting",
|
|
"Eating a spoonful of cinnamon",
|
|
"Eating the refrigerator's entire contents after breaking your diet",
|
|
"Eating until I hate myself",
|
|
"Egg whites",
|
|
"Enjoying a banana",
|
|
"Enjoying a lollipop on a warm summer's afternoon",
|
|
"Enough chocolate to drown in",
|
|
"Euphoria",
|
|
"European immigrants",
|
|
"Excellent hygiene",
|
|
"Excruciating sunburns",
|
|
"Exploding earth worms",
|
|
"Extreme opinions",
|
|
"Eye drops",
|
|
"Family Christmas cards",
|
|
"Family pictures",
|
|
"Feeling pity",
|
|
"Finding money in my pocket that I forgot was there",
|
|
"Finding that the two-year-old has redecorated my kitchen with cream of wheat and grape jelly",
|
|
"Fire",
|
|
"Fish & chips",
|
|
"Flat soda",
|
|
"Forgetting a jacket",
|
|
"Frolicking in a field of wildflowers",
|
|
"Fundraisers",
|
|
"Future Farmers of America",
|
|
"George Washington",
|
|
"Giggling in inappropriate situations",
|
|
"Girl Scout cookies",
|
|
"Girl Scout sewing merit badge",
|
|
"Giving lectures",
|
|
"Glow-in-the-dark toenail polish",
|
|
"Going green",
|
|
"Googling myself",
|
|
"Greek tragedies",
|
|
"Greener grass",
|
|
"Grudges",
|
|
"Handel's Messiah",
|
|
"Hangman. What better way to kill time?",
|
|
"Happiness",
|
|
"Having eight small children",
|
|
"Having Mariah Carey stuck in my head for several hours straight",
|
|
"Having my children live with me until the day I die",
|
|
"Having the biggest, baddest sewing machine on the block",
|
|
"Having the weight of the world on my shoulders",
|
|
"Having unprecedented skill with the bo staff",
|
|
"Henry V",
|
|
"Hips that do not lie",
|
|
"Holding something high to keep it away from a short person",
|
|
"How sauce. Loads of it.",
|
|
"Humming commercial jingles",
|
|
"Immortality",
|
|
"Inadequacies",
|
|
"Intense hypochondria",
|
|
"Intramural sports",
|
|
"Jack Sparrow",
|
|
"Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice",
|
|
"Jeans that I wore in high school",
|
|
"Jingle Bell Rock",
|
|
"Killing the joke. Again.",
|
|
"Knitting magazines",
|
|
"Knowing right from wrong",
|
|
"Kryptonite",
|
|
"Late night scary movies",
|
|
"Legs that haven't seen the sun for generations",
|
|
"Light-up sneakers",
|
|
"Loud, dramatic entrances",
|
|
"Macaroni and cheese",
|
|
"Major surgery",
|
|
"Making a pouty face",
|
|
"Making it big in Hollywood",
|
|
"Marshmallows",
|
|
"Mastering passive aggression",
|
|
"McDonald's breakfast menu",
|
|
"Memorizing state capitals",
|
|
"Mermaids",
|
|
"Microwave dinner",
|
|
"My best Saturday Night Fever moves",
|
|
"My bleeding heart",
|
|
"My boss",
|
|
"My dad's plaid suit from 1976",
|
|
"My daughter and her friends having an earsplitting karaoke night",
|
|
"My Facebook page",
|
|
"My family",
|
|
"My favorite person in the world",
|
|
"My first date",
|
|
"My guilty celebrity crush",
|
|
"My junior high diary",
|
|
"My mom's minivan",
|
|
"My mom's side of the family",
|
|
"My naturally curly hair",
|
|
"My past",
|
|
"My pinky toe",
|
|
"My Saturday best",
|
|
"My son's \"band\" playing in the garage",
|
|
"My soul shattered into tiny pieces",
|
|
"My TARDIS ringtone going off and everyone in the room looking for the Doctor",
|
|
"My three-year-old's \"artwort\"",
|
|
"Near-death experiences",
|
|
"Ninja training",
|
|
"Not being able to keep a gold fish alive for TWO DAYS",
|
|
"Not saying anything at all when I don't have something nice to say",
|
|
"Novembeard",
|
|
"Olaf",
|
|
"One-sided text message conversations",
|
|
"Overly dramatic eye-rolling",
|
|
"Oversized earlobes",
|
|
"Overwhelming enthusiasm",
|
|
"Pattern baldness",
|
|
"Patting my head and rubbing my stomach at the same exact time. Tricky stuff.",
|
|
"Percussive maintenance",
|
|
"Perfect harmony",
|
|
"Phlebotomy",
|
|
"Phone games",
|
|
"Picking a scab that's much too fresh",
|
|
"Picking on younger siblings",
|
|
"Playing the organ like I'm the biggest boss in town",
|
|
"Pokemon cards",
|
|
"Poor taste",
|
|
"Portion-controlling",
|
|
"Praise. Unadulterated praise.",
|
|
"Prayer",
|
|
"Precious, tiny, fluffy penguins",
|
|
"Presidential debates",
|
|
"Preteens",
|
|
"Pretending like I can't hear when someone asks me to do something that stinks",
|
|
"Pristine manners",
|
|
"PTA meetings",
|
|
"Pulling limbs off Barbie Dolls",
|
|
"Putting a racoon in the scout master's sleeping bag",
|
|
"Queen Elsa",
|
|
"Racebending",
|
|
"Reading in the bathroom",
|
|
"Red shirts",
|
|
"Regrettable life choices",
|
|
"Reliving the glory days",
|
|
"Reusable shopping bags",
|
|
"Reversing the Earth's rotation",
|
|
"Rocky Balboa",
|
|
"Rocky relationships",
|
|
"Roller hockey",
|
|
"Roommates that have never learned to wash a dish",
|
|
"Root beer floats",
|
|
"Royally failing at a Pinterest recipe",
|
|
"Ruining lives",
|
|
"Ruling the world",
|
|
"Running a 14-minute mile",
|
|
"Russell Crowe",
|
|
"Santa Claus",
|
|
"Saturday morning cartoons",
|
|
"Saving baby bluebirds from an unstable nest",
|
|
"Saving lives",
|
|
"Saying the longest prayer known to man",
|
|
"Secrets",
|
|
"Seeing the future",
|
|
"Self-reflection",
|
|
"Self-tanner gone wrong",
|
|
"Selfies",
|
|
"Setting the world's record of number of grapes fitting in one's mouth",
|
|
"Shakespeare enthusiasts",
|
|
"Shaving a fully clothed person into a pool of water",
|
|
"Shoes several sizes too large",
|
|
"Showing up for the free food",
|
|
"Sidewalk chalk drawings",
|
|
"Singers that try to act",
|
|
"Sleep talking",
|
|
"Smacking my funnybone",
|
|
"Smashing a bug and feeling it crunch",
|
|
"Some peace and quiet",
|
|
"Speaking in the third person",
|
|
"Spelling bees",
|
|
"Spending $80 in the nickel arcade",
|
|
"Stale Cheerios",
|
|
"Starting more diets than one can count",
|
|
"Staying up all night to finish The Lord of the Rings extended version trilogy",
|
|
"Stepping on Legos",
|
|
"Struggling to help family members come to terms with their poor election decisions",
|
|
"Strutting like you own the place",
|
|
"Sudoku",
|
|
"Sugar. Lots and lots of sugar.",
|
|
"Sympathy",
|
|
"Tap dancing like there's no tomorrow",
|
|
"Teaching Grandma about technology",
|
|
"Terrible balance",
|
|
"That one family that consistently gives out the nastiest Christmas treats",
|
|
"The 400th time I watched Frozen",
|
|
"The adult that takes Halloween much too seriously",
|
|
"The chosen one",
|
|
"The creepy Care Bear stare",
|
|
"The Dark Lord hiding under my turban",
|
|
"The day the Mutant Ninja Turtles become adults",
|
|
"The Disneyland parade",
|
|
"The dry council",
|
|
"The Electric Slide",
|
|
"The entire contents of my piggy bank",
|
|
"The extreme use of idioms",
|
|
"The first crack at the cheese tray",
|
|
"The glory days",
|
|
"The golden calf",
|
|
"The great outdoors",
|
|
"The inability to be seen in public with an untucked shirt",
|
|
"The inability to grow facial hair",
|
|
"The lady who struggles to harmonize. Boy, does she try!",
|
|
"The Land Before Time XVII",
|
|
"The last cookie",
|
|
"The latest and greatest Death Star",
|
|
"The liberal use of the word literally",
|
|
"The Little Rascals",
|
|
"The magic trick guy. We all know the one.",
|
|
"The next-door neighbors",
|
|
"The one safe place where my sarcasm is accepted",
|
|
"The police",
|
|
"The president of Homeland Security",
|
|
"The science fair",
|
|
"The Star Wars prequels",
|
|
"The sweet smell of summer",
|
|
"The sweet taste of freedom",
|
|
"The time I figured out that \"Twinkle, Twinkle\" and the \"Alphabet Song\" had the same tune",
|
|
"The time I wet the bed and kept it a secret",
|
|
"The ultimate Instagramming mom",
|
|
"The valiant effort of trying to make sense of the entire Old Testament",
|
|
"The warm tinglies",
|
|
"The wickedly energetic chorister",
|
|
"The world's largest fly swatter",
|
|
"Those losers who spend the night playing card games",
|
|
"Tiny houses",
|
|
"Tony the Tiger",
|
|
"Tracking",
|
|
"Trick candles",
|
|
"Turning it off and on again",
|
|
"Unexpected visitors",
|
|
"Useless celebrity facts",
|
|
"Utter nonsense",
|
|
"Validating my spirituality",
|
|
"Veganism",
|
|
"Velociraptor attacks",
|
|
"Waking up at the crack of 1:30 p.m.",
|
|
"Waking up early",
|
|
"Walking in a straight line",
|
|
"War and Peace",
|
|
"Warm vanilla sugar-smelling lotion",
|
|
"Wasting hours of my life",
|
|
"Watching my daughter's 2-hour dance recital without falling asleep",
|
|
"Watching my savings acount slip between my fingers",
|
|
"Water balloon fights",
|
|
"Winning",
|
|
"Word-for-word renditions of \"Bohemian Rhapsody\"",
|
|
"YOLO",
|
|
"YouTube videos",
|
|
"Yzma (Emperor's New Groove)",
|
|
"A bag of doorknobs.",
|
|
"A bucket of dicks.",
|
|
"A few sharp tugs.",
|
|
"A girl-child.",
|
|
"A lemon-stealing whore.",
|
|
"A meat tornado.",
|
|
"A miscarriage.",
|
|
"A nice boy who never did anyone any harm.",
|
|
"A pattern of defensive wounds.",
|
|
"A racist toddler.",
|
|
"A shallow grave.",
|
|
"A soggy biscuit.",
|
|
"A special snowflake.",
|
|
"A sternly-worded letter.",
|
|
"A tablespoon of thick, custardy puss.",
|
|
"A turbo-encabulator, complete with pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing.",
|
|
"A whole baby.",
|
|
"ALLAH HU AKBAR!",
|
|
"Alzheimer's.",
|
|
"An Amber Alert.",
|
|
"An asshole that tastes like vanilla ice cream.",
|
|
"Battle-tested period panties.",
|
|
"Being a size queen.",
|
|
"Being catfished.",
|
|
"Booklearnin'.",
|
|
"Brojobs.",
|
|
"Crotchfruit.",
|
|
"Crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women.",
|
|
"Diamond-studded tampons.",
|
|
"Doggy-style with a real doggy.",
|
|
"Doing the waffle stomp.",
|
|
"Freedom.",
|
|
"Getting White Girl Wasted.",
|
|
"Going potty.",
|
|
"Hillary Clinton's triumphant patriotic cock.",
|
|
"Hot singles in your area.",
|
|
"Iggy Azalea.",
|
|
"Irony.",
|
|
"It.",
|
|
"Kinky fuckery.",
|
|
"Me Lucky Charms®!",
|
|
"MORTAL KOMBAT™.",
|
|
"Nutella®.",
|
|
"One more fucking word.",
|
|
"Only traveling by rickshaw.",
|
|
"Poking it with a stick.",
|
|
"Quietly ovulating.",
|
|
"Santorum, everywhere.",
|
|
"Sharia law.",
|
|
"Shenanigans.",
|
|
"Shit-filled raviolis.",
|
|
"Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young.",
|
|
"Sitting alone in the dark, listening to Drake.",
|
|
"Skanky Smurf.",
|
|
"Spelunking.",
|
|
"Stank dick.",
|
|
"Sugar and spice and everything nice.",
|
|
"The Cockpocalypse.",
|
|
"The difference between \"good touch\" and \"bad touch.\"",
|
|
"The muffled cries of an Asian baby girl.",
|
|
"The poophole loophole.",
|
|
"The scientific method.",
|
|
"The sound of a toddler's skull cracking against the pavement.",
|
|
"The third trimester.",
|
|
"The wet spot.",
|
|
"The Yellow Dick Road.",
|
|
"These strange human urges.",
|
|
"This motherfucker right here.",
|
|
"Tinder™.",
|
|
"Type 2 diabetes.",
|
|
"Wink wink, nudge nudge!",
|
|
"You Know Who.",
|
|
"Your bourgeois morality.",
|
|
"\"Somebody That I Used To Know\" covered by Sting.",
|
|
"A cuddle puddle.",
|
|
"A light-green satin corset.",
|
|
"A little bit pregnant.",
|
|
"A meat party in my mouth!",
|
|
"A princess who can kill the dragon on her own, thank you very much.",
|
|
"A sad panda.",
|
|
"A selfie where you can see that you didn't clean up after last night's escapades.",
|
|
"A smaller, blacker vagina.",
|
|
"A special little snowflake.",
|
|
"A willing sheep.",
|
|
"An open relationship status on Facebook.",
|
|
"Androgynous haircuts.",
|
|
"Being absolutely crazy about my therapist.",
|
|
"Being aggressive-aggressive. It's like passive-aggressive, but without the \"passive.\"",
|
|
"Being disappointed when your date drops their pants.",
|
|
"Being mad stylin', yo.",
|
|
"Bizarre acapella renditions of popular songs.",
|
|
"Bombing the homeless.",
|
|
"Burning Man.",
|
|
"Carlos Chang's Fine Italian Cuisine.",
|
|
"Carmen Sandiego's clitoris.",
|
|
"Clitter™! Glitter for your vagina!*",
|
|
"Coffee so strong that it can be used for vision quests.",
|
|
"Comfy sweats and premium ice cream.",
|
|
"Cranky Old Man 2: Get Off My Lawn!™ New from Capcom Games!",
|
|
"Creeper.",
|
|
"Cross-generational sex talk.",
|
|
"Daiya cheese.*",
|
|
"Defenestration.*",
|
|
"Dihydrogen Monoxide.*",
|
|
"Discovering that he's hung like a lightswitch.",
|
|
"Embarrassing bridal shower gifts.",
|
|
"Expired memes.",
|
|
"Facebook friend-purging.",
|
|
"Failing the Bechtel Test* in real life.",
|
|
"Fashion advice from Amazon's homepage.",
|
|
"Firecracker chocolate.*",
|
|
"Georgia O'Keeffe.",
|
|
"Gingers don't have souls.",
|
|
"Going out on a date with a guy who might be 6 feet tall - but only if he's wearing heels.",
|
|
"Happy Family Memories.*",
|
|
"Hearing neighbors having sex... and not finding her believable.",
|
|
"Heavy flow.",
|
|
"High powered jacuzzi jets.",
|
|
"Hot, left-handed, women geeks.",
|
|
"Identity theft.",
|
|
"Illegal downloading.",
|
|
"Instagramming pictures of food.",
|
|
"Intense, grab your ankles vomiting.",
|
|
"Introducing yourself after the dance.",
|
|
"Just remember that Jesus Loves You.",
|
|
"Just to see how it feels...",
|
|
"Kermit the frog porking out.",
|
|
"Misplaced WMDs.",
|
|
"Missing the bowl.",
|
|
"Morbidly obese, 9-year-old children with high cholesterol.",
|
|
"Not labia. YAY-bia!",
|
|
"Not remembering the difference between Second-Wave and Third-Wave feminism.",
|
|
"Paint fumes in an enclosed space.",
|
|
"Portland.",
|
|
"President Hillary enjoying a male intern.",
|
|
"Russian homophobia.",
|
|
"Sand in the damnedest places.",
|
|
"Self-righteous hipsters.",
|
|
"Single-payer healthcare like the rest of the civilized world.",
|
|
"Sneezing while wearing the Diva Cup™ and a skirt with no underwear.*",
|
|
"Soy Milk.",
|
|
"Stupid Cosmo Sex Tips.",
|
|
"Talking with your girlfriends about his \"limitations.\"",
|
|
"Tasty, tasty cheese.",
|
|
"That sounds like my first time.",
|
|
"The dumpster behind the supermarket.",
|
|
"The Fox News Team.",
|
|
"The gayest straight man you know.",
|
|
"The horrifying realization that Jesus wasn't white. Or capitalist. Or American.",
|
|
"The NuvaRing™.*",
|
|
"The world's angriest ginger.",
|
|
"Thinking, \"I'm missing 'Big Bang Theory' for this?\"",
|
|
"Tonight's special - Stuffed avocado.",
|
|
"Tori Amos' new album.",
|
|
"Turtle sex.",
|
|
"Unbelievably hot smart women.",
|
|
"Volleyball shorts.",
|
|
"Wearing jeans so you don't have to shave.",
|
|
"Wiccan prayer in school.",
|
|
"You and your best friend simultaneously flashing the hand signal for \"abortion\" at the first sound of a baby crying.*",
|
|
"Your asshole inner voice.",
|
|
"A blow-up sex doll that really likes you, but just wants to be friends.",
|
|
"A box filled with horse shit.",
|
|
"A career-ending blowjob.",
|
|
"A chick whose carpet doesn't match the drapes.",
|
|
"A craigslist hook-up that went better than expected.",
|
|
"A cricket trained to chirp during awkward silences.",
|
|
"A game of Cards Against Humanity that turns into an orgy.",
|
|
"A gay security guard getting fired from his job at the sperm bank for drinking on the job.",
|
|
"A hat so nice it classes up the rest of your shitty wardrobe.",
|
|
"A light switch that doesn't do a goddamn thing.",
|
|
"A massive swastika tattoo.",
|
|
"A mobile abortion clinic.",
|
|
"A musical salute to sideboob.",
|
|
"A near-fatal pumpkin spice overdose.",
|
|
"A pregnant person.",
|
|
"a shirt that hides my man boobs",
|
|
"Accidentally shooting your girlfriend through a bathroom door.",
|
|
"An Asian invasion.",
|
|
"An ass with more dimples than a golf ball.",
|
|
"An insensitive opinion that violates your safe space.",
|
|
"Asking an Auschwitz survivor for her digits.",
|
|
"Being all classy and shit.",
|
|
"Being arrested and beaten by the fashion police for wearing white after Labor Day.",
|
|
"Being so cool they kick you out of school.",
|
|
"Blaming whitey.",
|
|
"Booing at the Special Olympics.",
|
|
"Butt-dialing someone and leaving a voice mail consisting of farts.",
|
|
"Charles Barkley's bald head.",
|
|
"Crushing people's hopes and dreams, just for fun.",
|
|
"Crying racism every time some asks for their coffee black. (sic)",
|
|
"Crying racism when you don't get your way.",
|
|
"Darth Vader ass-fucking Leia while yelling, \"Who's your daddy?\"",
|
|
"Disastrously misunderstanding the purpose of a whale's blowhole.",
|
|
"Discovering you have a latex allergy while losing your virginity.",
|
|
"Dismembering your business partner in the basement with a chainsaw.",
|
|
"Drinking milk on a warm summer day.",
|
|
"Driving a busload of senior citizens to the Gran Canyon.",
|
|
"Ethiopian Hunger Strike.",
|
|
"Finding pubes in your toothpaste.",
|
|
"Finding the droids you were looking for.",
|
|
"Fucking Communists.",
|
|
"Getting divorced over a game of Monopoly.",
|
|
"Getting hammered on vanilla extract.",
|
|
"Going to Paris to eat snails, but getting filled with slugs instead.",
|
|
"Harvesting the organs of the homeless.",
|
|
"Having your sexual partner wear a horse mask because you're not ready for real bestiality yet.",
|
|
"Hitler's lost art school acceptance letter.",
|
|
"Hitting it until it works.",
|
|
"Hobbit porn starring Dildo Backends.",
|
|
"Holding in a fart on a crowded airplane.",
|
|
"Insuring your own ass.",
|
|
"Leaving \"get a better job\" as a tip.",
|
|
"Masturbating furiously to the goriest episode of \"Attack on Titan.\"",
|
|
"Neighbors with Benefits.",
|
|
"Only listening to Christian music.",
|
|
"Painting a house with only a potato gun and a bucket full of gerbils.",
|
|
"Parking like an asshole.",
|
|
"Peeing in two directions due to dried semen.",
|
|
"Permanent duckface.",
|
|
"Playing Spin The Bottle at a family reunion.",
|
|
"Putting glass shards in your ex's Fleshlight.",
|
|
"Rapping with a speech impediment.",
|
|
"Seeing Daddy blowing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe.",
|
|
"Selena Gomez.",
|
|
"Setting a hobo on fire just to feel something again.",
|
|
"Singing \"Beauty and the Beast\" in a Mexican accent.",
|
|
"Slapping the dick right out of someone's mouth.",
|
|
"Socially acceptable genocide.",
|
|
"The countless times the Toy Story toy were forced to watch Andy masturbate.",
|
|
"The feeling of being utterly worthless.",
|
|
"The middle of a cruel winter.",
|
|
"The token white guy on any NBA team.",
|
|
"When only one half of a pair of Siamese twins wants sex.",
|
|
"Your life expectancy dropping to \"next week.\"",
|
|
"Your Mom!",
|
|
"A bukaki party.",
|
|
"A bum's asshole.",
|
|
"A Columbian neck tie.",
|
|
"A free abortion clinic.",
|
|
"A prostate examination.",
|
|
"A rusty trombone.",
|
|
"A ton of poop.",
|
|
"A virgin with a tongue piercing.",
|
|
"Al Gore's asshole.",
|
|
"Amy Winehouse's Sobriety.",
|
|
"An ugly cow of a Norwegian woman.",
|
|
"Ass plugs.",
|
|
"Banana hammock.",
|
|
"Barebacking.",
|
|
"Bi-Polar disorder.",
|
|
"Blaming the Jews for world problems.",
|
|
"Bloody wankers.",
|
|
"Bong water.",
|
|
"Brazilian brothels.",
|
|
"Bright lights.",
|
|
"Butt pirates.",
|
|
"Butt surgery.",
|
|
"Cellphone salesmen.",
|
|
"Cheating on your significant other.",
|
|
"Conspiracy theories.",
|
|
"Cum dumpster.",
|
|
"Cum guzzlers.",
|
|
"Dry anal sex.",
|
|
"Fred Durst.",
|
|
"Giving a champagne facial.",
|
|
"Grandma's depends.",
|
|
"Having sex with a dead baby fetus.",
|
|
"Impregnating women in 3rd world countries.",
|
|
"Jamie Foxx.",
|
|
"Japanese Tourists.",
|
|
"Kenny Fucking Powers.",
|
|
"Licking a dirty vibrator.",
|
|
"Licking genitals.",
|
|
"Masturbating in front of the family pet.",
|
|
"My old high principal having sex with the lunch lady.",
|
|
"Neo-Nazis.",
|
|
"Nerdy Asian teenagers.",
|
|
"Obsession.",
|
|
"Ol' Dirty Bastard.",
|
|
"Ordering dessert after calling off a wedding engagement.",
|
|
"Pablo Escobar.",
|
|
"Paris Hilton's sextape.",
|
|
"Post Traumatic Stress disorder.",
|
|
"Raping a group of celibate nuns.",
|
|
"Receiving oral sex.",
|
|
"Selling deceased animals to blind and deaf children.",
|
|
"Smashing lawn ornaments in a neighboring cul-de-sac.",
|
|
"Snorting cocaine from a stripper's asshole.",
|
|
"Southern Bible Thumpers.",
|
|
"Southern gentlemen.",
|
|
"Stealing condoms from your parents.",
|
|
"Stealing from the less fortunate.",
|
|
"Stinky cunts.",
|
|
"Sweat soaked armpit hair.",
|
|
"Thai lady boys.",
|
|
"The come down after an epic drug trip.",
|
|
"The inside of your mother's anus.",
|
|
"The running of the Jew.",
|
|
"The Star of David.",
|
|
"Thongs.",
|
|
"Throwing fists full of marbles in front of blind people.",
|
|
"Tongue punching a fartbox.",
|
|
"Unexpected nudes.",
|
|
"Using saran wrap as a makeshift condom.",
|
|
"Watching a married woman cheat on her husband.",
|
|
"Weed edibles.",
|
|
"White snake marinated in underwear sauce.",
|
|
"\"I want to do it by myseeeeeeelf!\"",
|
|
"\"Stop playing with your penis!\"",
|
|
"2nd child issues",
|
|
"a bad-ass clown",
|
|
"A Band-Aid fetish",
|
|
"A bottle of fine wine",
|
|
"A broken condom.",
|
|
"a car floor full of crushed Cheerios",
|
|
"a double team",
|
|
"A false positive paternity test",
|
|
"A formal goldfish funeral.",
|
|
"A freezer full of breast milk",
|
|
"A half-finished Brazilian wax job.",
|
|
"a hot Brazilian nanny",
|
|
"A Learning Annex class on reversing the aging process.",
|
|
"A night of beer, blonde jokes, and genital mutilation.",
|
|
"A particular set of skills.",
|
|
"A Pinterest board of organized kid toys",
|
|
"A poop mural A poopy finger",
|
|
"A sexy guy with an epic penis.",
|
|
"A six-month old bag of Halloween candy",
|
|
"A sticky tree hole full of pancake sauce.",
|
|
"A strange silence",
|
|
"A sugar-buzz rampage",
|
|
"A well-placed \"thanks Obama.\"",
|
|
"A&D Ointment for everything",
|
|
"Adult baby wipes",
|
|
"An iPhone in the toilet",
|
|
"Anatomically correct dolls.",
|
|
"Artisanal hemp diapers",
|
|
"Because of you people.",
|
|
"Beer farts",
|
|
"Breast milk pina coladas",
|
|
"Caitlyn Jenner.",
|
|
"Chasing poop in the bathtub... again!",
|
|
"Coffee.",
|
|
"Coitus.",
|
|
"Concentration camps.",
|
|
"Crossing guards with booze breath",
|
|
"Dad bod",
|
|
"Daddy?",
|
|
"Day drinking with daddy",
|
|
"Delicious dog food",
|
|
"Demonic possession.",
|
|
"Doing the breaststroke in a pool of semen.",
|
|
"Droppin' the mic.",
|
|
"Explaining how I got the nickname \"Nibbleberries.\"",
|
|
"Farting at the principal",
|
|
"Four week old french fries",
|
|
"Going to the bathroom just to wipe.",
|
|
"Grandma",
|
|
"Grandparent babysitters",
|
|
"Hands down the best eggnog I have ever had.",
|
|
"Hiding in the bathroom",
|
|
"Highly racist Asian music.",
|
|
"Inappropriate lactation",
|
|
"Inappropriate stroking.",
|
|
"iPad Babysitter",
|
|
"Just the green M&Ms",
|
|
"LEGO® recreations of classic pornos.",
|
|
"Lip gloss for the labia.",
|
|
"Mommy Dearest",
|
|
"mommy time",
|
|
"More olives than you could possibly understand.",
|
|
"My shitty life.",
|
|
"My status as a high-end prostitute",
|
|
"Naptrapped in the car. Again.",
|
|
"Never quite being good enough.",
|
|
"Nothing an extra $5 can't fix",
|
|
"Placenta-flavored protein bars",
|
|
"Playing Dunk the Principal.",
|
|
"Pot brownies",
|
|
"Pregnant Hispanic Soldiers.",
|
|
"Premenstrual tension.",
|
|
"Pretending you're going to miss colleagues when you hand your notice in",
|
|
"Salami sandwiches.",
|
|
"Shawn Desmond CDs",
|
|
"Skid-mark undies",
|
|
"Skipping bathtime",
|
|
"Sleepovers with my friend's bratty brother who won't leave us alone.",
|
|
"Slip n' slide rash",
|
|
"Smirnoff® the Wizard.",
|
|
"Spitting.",
|
|
"Sticky fingers.",
|
|
"Stripping to \"Let It Go\"",
|
|
"Sucking on a dirty thumb",
|
|
"That floating plastic bag from American Beauty, but full of diarrhea.",
|
|
"That one leftover screw.",
|
|
"That time I ran out of baby wipes.",
|
|
"The American way.",
|
|
"The Bend and Reach Around.",
|
|
"The dreams your mother gave up to have you.",
|
|
"The Famous Five.",
|
|
"the second coming is imminent",
|
|
"The sudden realization that you've become your mother",
|
|
"The sweet honking or Karen's bassoon.",
|
|
"Trying but hating yoga.",
|
|
"Un-filtered Netflix",
|
|
"Unspeakable atrocities.",
|
|
"Violating the 3-second rule",
|
|
"Wishing you were half as happy as your social media posts make you seem.",
|
|
"Yesterday's lunch, today's snack.",
|
|
"Bort Sampson's catchphrase, \"eat pant\".",
|
|
"The cheap Lando knock-off named Rando Cardrissian.",
|
|
"dragonfire535.",
|
|
"Xiao.",
|
|
"[object Object]",
|
|
"The eventual release of Xiao's public source code."
|
|
],
|
|
"black":[
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ ? there is medication for that, you know.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ It's a trap!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ really helped my dad through his midlife crises.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will finally put an end to racism.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ - thats how I want to die.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Kid-tested, mother approved.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Awesome, bro!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A school play starring _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "According to the Men's Health issue for this month, ou should use _ for a more mind-blowing orgasm.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "ACSA guidelines now prohibit _ on aeroplanes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After the drought, Mark Lottering brought _ to the peopel of Orania.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Alternative Medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And the South African Entertainment Award for _ goes to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Anthroopologists have recently discovered a primitive tribe that worships _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Carte Blanche investegates _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Coming to the Artscape this season, _: The Musical.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't bother _ if you can't handle _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't worry, millions of South Africans have issues with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Due to an \"incident\" our next safety and security training will be on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During Picassos often-overlooked Brown Period, he produced hundreds of paintings of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During sex, i like to fantasise about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For my next trick, I will pull _ out of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Guys? I know I agreed to go along but now I think we have to stop _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "He's _. She's _. Together they fight crime!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Honey, there is a charge for R 3 756,25 labeled _ on the credit card. Can you explain it?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How are the writers of Cards Against Humanity spending your $25?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am laughing, I am crying, I am giggling like a school-girl while taking off my clothes. Do you want to know why?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am soooo aroused! I have a large _ in my pussy.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I bet you can't have just one _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I camouflage my tiny penis with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I could never truly understand _, until I encountered _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I do not know what weapons World War III will be fought with, but World War IV will be fought with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I dropped my cellphone in the _ and now it won't work anymore.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got 99 problems, but _ ain't one.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have a great _ at my place. DDo you want to come over so we can _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I know! We can blackmail the Gupta family with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I left Hamilton because I heard about _'s obsession with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I use a cupful of _ as my morning-after cure, the result is amazing!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I went to the toilet, and guess what came out?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish I was good as making friends in real life as I was at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm so sorry everyone, but I just _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm sorry Professor, but i couldn't complete the assignment because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If it hadn't been for _, I would definitely have gotten away with it, too.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In a 1000 years, when paper money is all but extinct, our new currency will be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In a world corrupted by _, our only solace is _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In his new comedy, Casper de Vries is _ trapped in the body of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In J.K. Rowling's new novel, Harry Potter and the Cursed Corps, Harry uses _ in his fight against the dark forces of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In KZN there are whisperings that Nkandla has a secret room devoted to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In middle school, the biggest rumor about me was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Pretoria Central Prison,word goes around that you can trade 2000 cigarettes for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "in the cave, Batman turned to Robin and said _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the distand future, historians will agree that _ marked the beginning of South Africa's decline.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the latest political news, the Public Protector reveals that _ had really been _ all along.",
|
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"pick": 2
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},
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{
|
|
"text": "In the new Leon Schuster movie, Abdul Raashbanja pranks _ for the first time.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "In thier new self-produced album, Die Antwoord raps over the sounds of _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "It's a jungle out there, and that's why i never leave the house without my trusty _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's a secret, but if you whisper _ to an illegal Pete's employee, they'll add _ to your burrito.",
|
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"pick": 2
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "KykNET's new reality show features eight has-been celebrities cooking with _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "Life for the Bushmen was forever changed when the white men introduced them to _.",
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "Life was difficult for the Bushmen before _.",
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Lifetime® presents _ - the story of _.",
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"pick": 2
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "Maybe she`s born with it, maybe it`s _.",
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "Mommy, why is daddy crying?",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "New on the menu: Braai X-tream! its like a normal braai, but with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next on SuperSport 1HD: the world championship of _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Rumour has it that Jacob Zuma's favourite dish is _ suffed with _.",
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"pick": 2
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},
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{
|
|
"text": "Scientist now believe that _ caused the dildo to become self-aware.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "South African dogs smell like _?",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "STOP! The game ends here.",
|
|
"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "Studies show that married people are much more likely than single people to have _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "That's right, I killed _. How did i do that, you ask? _.",
|
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"pick": 2
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Comedy Central Roast of _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Guptas have been selling _ to the children of Jozi.",
|
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"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Hawks Special Unite interrogate suspect by repeatedly subjecting them to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The latest Suzelle DIY video is about making _ with only wire and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Operations Executive got suspended for displaying _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The South African Government has declared that access to _ is a basic human right.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "The South African Rugby Union has banned _ becuase it resulted in giving players an unfair advantage.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The students at the University of the Western Cape have developed a more economic _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They said that we were insane to try mixing _ with _. They thought wrong!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This is an absolutely hilarious video. Please share it! #_",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today's Special: _ with an extra measure of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today's to-do list:\\n1) Bake muffins.\\n2) Wipe off the counters.\\n3) Clean up that _ stain.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Try this fun tip: when your man asks for _, give him some _ instead.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Using 2 of the cards in your hand, describe the 'Baas' biggest embarassment",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Warning: Common side effects include _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What are my relatives hiding from me?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What came in the mail today?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What caused my last relationship to end?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did I bring back from Zimbabwe?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What does the CIA want you NOT to think about? _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What don't you want to find in your doner kebab?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What gets chief hot and bothered?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What got me kicked out of the Alamo Drafthouse?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What has been seen cannot be unssen! I just witnessed _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What helps mom go to sleep?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is Pravin Gordhan's guilty pleasure?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What never fails to liven up a party?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What will always make people want to have sex with you?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What will i bring back in time to convince people I am a powerful politician?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What would it take to get me back into church?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's a great way to bring your families together at your wedding?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's my spirit animal?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's never as good as it is the first time?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's that sound?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's that tingling feeling in my anus?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the key to successful hypnobirthing?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the latest tabloid freak-of-the-week?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the new popular diet everybody talks about?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the next superhero/sidekick duo?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the secret ingredient in potijiekos?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When all else fails, I can always get off with (a/an) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am a billionaire, I will erect a statue that is 20 metres high to commemorate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was tripping on low quality LSD, _ turned into _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I'm pooping, I like to think about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When in Rome, _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "While the USA raced the USSR to the moon, the South African Government funnelled millions of Rands into research on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who ate my _ again?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who was the last person to _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am I always broke?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why can't we have nice things?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why do I feel sticky all over my body?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why do I keep havintg children?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You should try _ for those unappealing _. It really works, I saw it on Facebook.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ a day keeps the doctor away.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ brings all the boys to the yard.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the new black according to everyone.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is why we can't have nice things.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ shaped my childhood, making me the person I am today.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Before hot dogs, Kobayashi was the champion of devouring _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! _! By your powers combined, I am Captain _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you're part of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fifth base will henceforth be considered _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fuck this. I'm going to create my own United States of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fuck, marry, kill.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gone are the days of the rock star. Now it's all about sex, drugs, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I came up with a new dance move. I call it \"_\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I learned about _ in high school and _ in college.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I liked _ before it was cool.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would rather have my \"O\" face resemble _ than _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm straight, but _ could turn me gay.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In space, no one can hear _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It rubs _ on its skin or else it gets _ again.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's dangerous to go alone! Take _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's dangerous to go alone! Take this.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last night I dreamt of an alternate universe where everyone shit _ and puked _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last night was totally epic and can only be explained throught he eloquence of hashtags! #_ #_ #_.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Leonardo DiCaprio will finally win an Oscar for his role in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My perfect day would have to include _ followed by _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On the next episode of \"My Strange Addiction\", Josh just can't get enough of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On the next episode of My Strange Addiction, Josh just can't get enough of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One nation, under _, indivisible, with _ and _ for all.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One nation, under _, with _ and _ for all.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "People have started eating _ because it's organic and gluten-free.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The area was evacuated and deemed uninhabitable due to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The snozberries taste like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The snozzberries taste like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What convinced me to stop believing in a higher power?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What gave me the 24-hour runs?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When life hands you _, make _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You had me at \"_\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You might be a redneck if you use _ for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ are out to get me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ bought 100 million rounds of ammunition last year because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is covering up the zombification of the population of Kansas.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is getting rich smuggling _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is merely a puppet of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is reporting to Putin right now.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is subverting the natural order with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the tool of _ to reduce world population.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ puts tranquilizers in the canned beer, because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ tried to suppress this game!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will make you sterile.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "87 % of _ believe in _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "98% of all _ fail safety testing.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Airport scanners are really looking for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "California universities now offer a degree in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Computer dating services have brought together _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Eat the rich, but spare _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Flashing web pages force you to love _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fluoridation was the first step. Next in our water: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fossil evidence shows that _ existed before humanity.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Half of all _ are below average.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Home schooling is a plot by _ for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How do you explain crop circles?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am being followed by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I no longer believe in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If we could eat _, we could end world hunger.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In my nightmares I'm being chased by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Join _ and help wipe out _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Keep _ away from my _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Money from state lotteries goes to _ to buy _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My relatives won't shut up about _ at Thanksgiving.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My tinfoil hat blocks out _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nanotech! All it does is make _ smaller.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next up: a wall to keep out _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nine out of ten dentists agree that _ causes cavities.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one expects the _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Once you put your head under a hairdresser's helmet, your brain belongs to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One good thing about climate change -- it'll wipe out _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Really! Vaccines are responsible for _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thanks to _, everything tastes like _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thanks to _, we are all hip deep in sheep dip.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The drones that deliver groceries today wil carry _ tomorrow.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The final protector of law and order wil be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The firefighters have secret orders to let _ burn.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The greatest force for destruction of the 21st century is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Mayan calendar predicts _, starting about 20 minutes ago.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The New World Order is really just _ on steroids.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The next big scandal will be _ gate.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The next travel ban will be aimed at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The secret agenda of the _ is _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's no gold in Fort Knox! It's full of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They're calling up the National Guard to deal with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They've discovered an exoplanet capable of supporting _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We can look forward, someday, to a kinder and gentler _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We'd all be safer if _ would take their _ and go home.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do the Illuminati use to influence your mind? _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is Donald Trump's endgame?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the best thing in life?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What stopped the NSA from building those prison camps in Oklahoma? _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What will defeat _? Only _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's in Area 51 besides airplanes?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's in the Bermuda Triangle? _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's on the black helicopters? _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the latest cargo on the secret military space shuttle?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's under the bed RIGHT NOW? _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who killed the Kennedys and why?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who knows the secrets that Man was not meant to know? _ knows.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Whose subliminal messages are in the ads on TV?_",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Within our borders are three million illegal agents of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ + _ = Hipsters",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ a day keeps the _ away.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Awesome!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: The best part of waking up.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After the birth I'm gonna have to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Being pregnant makes me want to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Can we stop by the store? I need to grab _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Congratulations! It's a _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Damn it! I forgot the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Did you hear that? I think it was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During delivery, I would like to think about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Go go gadget _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Having a kid makes me want to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How my husband would describe me: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am calmed by the thought of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am just the absolute best at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe my husband asked for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe that came out of my vagina",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe that someone will be able to pull _ out of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe this came out of my (babies') butt!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't forget to bring _ to the hospital.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't wait to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't wait to fall asleep so I can once again dream I will soon _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I had a nightmare last night. The baby was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hope that my baby would describe me as _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hope that my push gift will be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I love _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I love it when my husband has _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I love my husband but he has a serious addiction to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I love the smell of _ in the morning",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I love waking up to _ in bed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I really hope my baby is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I really think my baby will look like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I think I overheard my friends calling me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I want _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I will call my baby _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish I were _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish my husband would give me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm so glad that before my birth I _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I've lost my _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I have to see _ again I'm gonna go crazy.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's pretty obvious my kid's first word will be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mom trick: To calm a colicky baby just _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My _ is getting bigger and bigger by the day.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My baby feels exactly like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My baby has _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My baby will grow up to master _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My baby's diaper is so full of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My belly is really craving _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My doctor told me that I really needed _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite baby sound is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My husband definitely thinks I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My husband is secretly _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My lover's hidden talent is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My mother-in-law looks a lot like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My secret power?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh look, I just found _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh my dear lord! That smells like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "People thought I was bat-shit crazy when I said I was gonna _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Pregnant moms are really into _ these days.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Rumor has it that my doctor really loves _. Especially when it comes with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Step 1: _.\\nStep 2: _.\\nThe End.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Stop! I really need to _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Studies show that babies are most cloesly related to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Surprise! You just _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "That smells just like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best advice I've ever received?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The hot guy I always think about has _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The most important person in the room on the day I give birth is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There is nothing I wouldn't do for 30 minutes alone with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Well crap. I guess _ is now going to have to deliver the baby.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do babies smell like?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is a parent's best friend?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the worst gift I've received?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When my husband found out I was pregnant he _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am giving birth again?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is everybody giving me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is mommy crying?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You won't believe I have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ and _ = heaven on Earth",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ and _: may they never meet.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ and loneliness are a dangerous combination.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ can be too much of a good thing.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a well-known sign of virility.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ makes me feel like the most desirable person in the world.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ should be grounds for a national holiday.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will be the downfall of Western Civilization.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will make anyone seem more attractive.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Best when a little bit sweaty.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? Even I wouldn't go there.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? That's a dealbreaker.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? Totally overrated.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "According to my doctor, I have a problem with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After a long day, don't you just want _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "All you need is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Am I the only one to admit that I hate _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Any movie can be improved by the presence of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Aply liberally three times a day to reduce _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Beware of Greeks bearing _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Chocolate, flowers, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Choosey mothers choose _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't hate me because I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't tease me about _. It's a very sensitive subject.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Even if you've only met me one time, you would associate me with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Everyone thinks I'm all about _, and for the most part they're right.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Eww! Gross! _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I admit it, I'm jealous of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can never choose between _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't be friends with people who are interested in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe I ate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got my current job through _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I had a terrible nightmare about _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I had the time of my life and I owe it all to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have a complicated history with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have a secret talent. All I can say is that it has to do with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I just don't want my obituary to include the phrase _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I knew it would be a legendary night once _ showed up.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I love the smell of _ in the morning.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I may forget a name, I may forget a face, but I never forget _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I use to _ in a way that would make you blush.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I used to get in trouble for playing with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish _ didn't remind me of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish I could give _ to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would do anything for love but I won't do _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would never admit this in public, but I've never experienced _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd love to celebrate hump day with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'll admit it. I'm turned on by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm lucky you can't read my mind, because the only thing I'm thinking about right now is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm not ashamed of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm sorry, but I don't hate people whose only concern is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm stressing more about _ than I am about _ right now. It should really be the opposite.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm thinking of calling my memoir \"Life, the Universe, and _\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I've never lost my faith in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I could take something to a dessert island, I'd take _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I had just one wish it would be for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I had my way, everybody would be required to learn about _ before graduating the 8th grade.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I were a mad scientist, I'd try to combine _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I won the lottery, first I'd buy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If my partner ever dressed up like _, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off them.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If there's one thing I know about, it's _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If this were my last night on earth, I'd want to spend it with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you can't handle _, then this job just isn't for you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you want someone to leave you alone, just tell them about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you've got _ flaunt it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In my life, there's always room for more _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In my school, my unofficial major was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In some cultures, _ is considered a good omen.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It might look like _, but it's actually _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's like _ in a round hole.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Job interviews: not the best place for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Just call me by the nickname I had in high school: \"_\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Just say no to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Know what I saw when I peeked at my neighbors? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Make some room in your life for _. It'll be worth it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Man cannot live on _ alone.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "May _ be with you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Me Tarzan. You _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My ex broke up with me because of my fondness for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite thing to eat? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My guidance counselor told me I should focus on _ as a carrer choice.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My guilty pleasure? _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My ideal first date would definitely include _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My most embarrassing memory has to do with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My partner's \"fantasy night\" included _. It was amazing.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My therapist told me to avoid _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "New franchise idea: _vs. _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one can resist _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing brings me more joy than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing is certain except _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing sexier with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing spells trouble like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Playing hard and fast with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Siri, I really wish you were good at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Strangely, I've developed a taste for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Studies show the average man thinks about _ every seven seconds.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best advice my parents ever gave me was about dealing with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Eskimos may have fifty words for \"snow\" but they don't have one for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Pestilence, War, Famine, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The name of the winner for Best Picture? \"_\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The new Quentin Tarantino movie takes an unusual look at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing that makes me feel validated as a human being is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing that makes me think this sick, sad world can get any better is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The root of all evil? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The worst night of my life was the night I spent with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There are times I think I would kill for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's a very fine line between _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's nothing that can't be cured by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They told me it aws inappropriate to talk about _ at my kid's parent-teacher conference.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This place smells like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Three wishes: _, _, and more wishes.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We go together like _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We have nothing to fear but _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We'll start with _ and end with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do I really believe in? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do I rub for good luck? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do I search for on the internet? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do I want for my birthday? My birthday suit and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What I did on my holiday? Lots and lots of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What makes me cry? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I drink I can't keep myself from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I role-play, I like to pretend I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I think \"classy\", I think _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was little, I used to dream about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I'm alone, I like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Whenever I'm down, the thing that cheers me up the most is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is the Dalai Lama always smiling? Because he knows _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You can make any experience better by adding _ to the mix.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You know what annoys me? _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You scratch _ and I'll scratch _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is many things to many people, as you will see and learn.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. My Spirit Animal.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. The breakfast of champions.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. The taste of paradise.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_, best describes me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "4 out of 5 dentists recommend _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Air Canada guidelines now prohibit _ on airplanes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Aw babe, your burbs smell like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Blood is thicker than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Congress introduced the 30th Amendment guaranteeing every American the right to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Donald Trump has nominated _ for his VP.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It's been one week since my last _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey man, you gonna come check out my show tonight? My new band is called \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How does Trump plan to restore \"a sense of dignity to the White House\"?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I find your lack of _ disturbing.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I may not live or work wihtin 2,000 ft. of any school because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was going to go to college, but _ got in the way.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm a pretentious Catholic because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm getting too old for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don't. I will look for you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kanye West grabbed the mic from the award winner and shouted _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Keep your _ close but your enemies closer.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Love means never having to sya_.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Martial law was declared because _ + _ don't mix.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Once you go _ you should probably seek medical attention.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Please stop _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Step on a crack and you will break your mother's back _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The ceremony ended with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Youth Minister has a tattoo of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There was a lot of _ during my first threesome.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They never would have legalized marijuana in California without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Times Square is filling up with people protesting _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do Mumbo's magic words mean?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is my biggest turn off?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is preventing my erection?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the fastest way to kill a human?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why haven't your subordinates completed their mandatory online training?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why was \"Barney\" cancelled?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ and _ make the USMC the most homophobic AND homoerotic service branch.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ makes your PFT score go down faster than a Thai hooker during Cobra Gold!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will cripple the Marine Corps. _ will save it.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A Marine Corps costume party, you say? What's the theme?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After a Mary Jane Rottencrotch finger banging session, you sniff your digits and recognize the smell of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After numerous reports of Marines falling ill, the VA has reluctantly that _ causes dick cancer.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "An enormous statue commemorating _ was erected in front of the Lee Harvey Oswald School of Marksmanship Excellence.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As the Arizona lawn dart plummeted to Earth, the Harrier pilot screamed \"_\" and ejected out of the cockpit.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Congratulations! You joined the Marine Corps! Get ready for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Describe the Marine Corps with one card.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Determined to be admin-separated during boot camp, Recruit Weasel Dick tries _ and narrowly succeeds.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Directed by Michael Bay, the unnecessary sequel to Full Metal Jacket is basically three hours of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Doc is funny. Doc tells good stories. Doc once told a story about finding _ in someone's asshole.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During the Battle of the Chosin Reservoir, Colonel Chesty Puller annihilated countless Chinese soldiers using _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Embrace the suck, boot! Pain is just _ leaving your body.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ever since General Mattis knife handed me, I can't fall alseep without having nightmares about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ever since the explosion, every time I hear a loud noise I think of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Face it, you were born to be a fat body. Hell, I bet you could get fat off of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For its latest cheesy ad campaign, Recruiting Command has created GruntMan, a superhero with the powers of _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Friday's linerty safety brief warns Marines to avoid _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gender integration for all combat jobs has caused promotions to be mostly based on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "General Mattis' iTunes™ playlist is a disturbing collection of songs about _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Give it 20 years and the Corps will be nothing but _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Given enough time, grunts will turn any situation into _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Greetings, POGs! I am the Chesty 2000, a cybernetic body slayer from the future to save the Corps from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gunny keeps saying he's got a meeting at Regiment, but what he's really doing is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gunny on Gunny violence: a serious scourge plaguing our Corps. How do we stop it?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gunny told me if I don't cut back on _ then I'm for sure getting ninja punched.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gunny, why are you crying?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey, boot! What happened to your fucking face?!?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Honor those lost at sea. Seriously, pause the game and raise your glasses for those who unknowingly made their final voyage.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Honor, Courage, Commitment, and _: The Newest Marine Corps Value.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How to be a Marine Recruiter:\\n- Lie to dumb kids;\\n- Have sex with dumb kids;\\n- _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't care what your team leader says, _ is not an excuse for being drunk on duty!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I lied and blamed _, but the actual reason I was late to formation was because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I walked in the house, saw _, and KNEW Jody had just been there!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm so damn sick of MREs! I would rather eat _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If my deployment was made into a hardcore snuff film, it would be full of _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Arabic, OORAH translates to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Pixar's new movie, Fuck Your Feelings, a lovable infantry platoon harnesses the power of _ to explodinate terrorist faces.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the new episode of Pimp My Barracks, a few lucky Marines find themselves with a room full of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Infantry platoon - rational decisions making abilities = _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of using wax to buff the deck, the E-5 and below are forced to use _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Interrogators are now using _ and _ as their new go-to torture methods.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "June is LGBT Pride Month. What is the Marine Corps doing to celebrate?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Look, over there!\\nIt's a bomb crater!\\nIt's a mass grave!\\nNo, it's _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Marine Corps coloring books filled with pictures of _ and _ are now being issued to all Recruits.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Marines are to _ as Sailors are to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Marines make numerous sacrifices to keep this country safe, which is why they should always be provided with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Of course Mad Dog Mattis never got married! He was too busy with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Your punishement is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Reveille! Reveille! Reveille! Drop your cocks and grab _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Selfless service is best exemplified by a Marine's dedication to _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Semper Fidelis has been replaced with \"_ and _,\" the new Marine Corps motto.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Smug Naval Academy grads believe they're the best at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "So you can give _ to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Step 1: Ship to boot camp.\\nStep 2: _.\\nStep 3: NJP'd.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Terminal Lance comics need more _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "That dumb shit new boot got a moto tattoo across his back that says _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The \"new\" Marine Corps is now kinder, gentler, and more focused on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The deplorable state of morale in the Corps can be attributed to a combination of _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Few, the Proud, _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Grunt Diet:\\n- 1 part _;\\n- 2 parts _;\\n- And a dash of _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The key to being the ideal Marine is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Marine Corps ensurs _ is hand delivered to needy children around the world.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The new Amphibious Assault Vehicle is really just a pontoon boat filled with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The newest religious charity, Christ's Huge Package, sends _-themed care packages to troops overseas.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing worse than mindlessly reading MCDP-1 Warfighting is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The spirit of Chesty Puller is rumored to haunt the grounds of Paris Island, channeling his ghostly energy into _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's no argument. The most lethal thing on the battlefield is _ in the hands of a Marine.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Unlimited _! That's what you're getting for re-enlisting, you poor dumb bastard!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What caused you to lose ANOTHER meritorious board to a wook?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do you think Cpl Wassef Ali Hassoun is doing right now?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What does the Commandant of the Marine Corps daydream about during congressional hearings?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the greatest achievement of the Lance Corporal Underground?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What made your grandmother knit \"A hardcore death dealer sleeps here\" into a quilt she made for you?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What made your rack smell like homeless people were fucking in it?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What puts the \"party\" in working party?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's more predictable than an Osprey crash?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you're not around, the barracks sergeant sneaks into your room and slips _ under your pillow.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "While working with \"Civilian Marines,\" a hostile work environment complaint was lodged against you for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why's Gunny drunk again?!?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You can ban it, outlaw it, and burn it, but you'll never remove _ from my precious Corps!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You can't kill _. Trust me, the Corps has tried.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your Marine Corps Ball date blows your Gunny in the bathroom. What are you doing to numb the pain?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your new platoon sergeant is moto as fuck and won't stop talking about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ always helps \"Insert Name\" prepare for a big exam.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ always starts out fun until \"Insert Name\" gets involved.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" aptitude tst shows he/she is either suited to be a Doctor or _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" class trip was completely ruined by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" believes that on the 7th day the Lord said let there be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" has a weakness for kittens, puppies and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" loves to use _ to get him/her off.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" Offered two homeless people lots of _ in order for them to fight to the death.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" says _ tastes like chicken.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" says if there were an Olympic sport for _ he/she would win gold.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" thought getting abducted by Captain Hook would be scary, turns out they both enjoy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" traded _ for a vial of pristine Gypsy tears.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" wanted a pony but got _ instead.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" would love to see _ as the new school mascot.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Parent, we regret to inform you that \"Insert Name\" will no longer be allowed on school property after he/she involvement with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do not fuck with \"Insert Name\", while he/she is watching _ online.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During sex \"Insert Name\" likes to imagine he/she is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every Sunday \"Insert Name\" goes to market to sell _, and every time comes home with Magic Beans.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For \"Insert Name's\" magic trick next he/she will pull _ out of a hat.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am not sure what \"Insert Name\" has up his/her ass, but I think it might be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I missed my last flight to Utah because \"Insert Name\" hid _ in my luggage and I was detained by Airport security.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If \"Insert Name's\" life were turned into a musical it would be called the Sound of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In chemistry lab today \"Insert Name\" learned how to make explosives by/with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In psychology \"Insert Name\" learned that basic human needs include _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next to lollipops, _ is/are \"Insert Name's\" favourite things to lick.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best excuse \"Insert Name\" could come up with for being late for work involved a crossing guard and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We all know the phrase \"What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas\" so why did \"Insert Name\" bring home _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When \"Insert Name\" was a child they used to use building blocks to create _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You hear the craziest stuff in methadone clinic lineups, this morning I overheard \"Insert Name\" having a heated conversations about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Cry havoc and let slip _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We want a pitcher, not _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When asked about the biggest threat facing the nation, 60% of Americans said _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You see, son, baseball is like _. Don't overthink it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Coming soon to a cinema near you",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Sounded like a good idea at the time",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. The easiest way into a girl's pants",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. The only thing scarring people more than London acid attacks",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A few shots of absinthe lets me forget about my habit of _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Alexa, add _ to my shopping list.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Despite what I've been told, _ is not a crime in the UK",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dominos now sell a pizza with two great toppings _ and _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Generally, most things can be solved by _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I probably should have left _ out of my best man's speech",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I saw _ on Snapchat the other day.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm really struggling to get the sweet taste of _ out of my mouth",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I've always enjoyed _ said _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If at first you don't succeed try _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In his most astonishing magic trick yet Dynamo is now able to control _ with _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the UK it's now socially acceptable to have _ in public",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's been a long and difficult journey, but I'm now officially recovering from my encounter with _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My boss's wife really enjoys _ with _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing reminds me of my ex more than _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On today's Jeremy Kyle show, Keith from Manchester is going to reveal _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One way of solving over-population is _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The main life lesson I learned in school was _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Nobel Peace Prize goes to _ for _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The one thing Harvey Weinstein enjoys more than rape is _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only way is _. The brutal new reality show coming to ITV3",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The smell of _ is nothing compared to _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They say that _ is for life not just for _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Twenty years from now, the world will be filled with _ and _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Unfortunately Jimmy, you can't bring _ into Nursery",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I group up I want to be _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You should never ever put _ in your mouth",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"This workplace has been 0 days without _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Angelina Jolie will now be special envoy for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Behind every successful man is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Come to Toronto for the _, stay for the _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't worry, _ is not as hard as it seems.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Everyday has 86,400 seconds. And I'm always a second away from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have an agreement with my significant other, if we meet _, I am allowed to have sex with them with no consequences.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I went to the desert and ate of the peyote cactus. Turns out my spirit animal is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would be on board with Scientology if it weren't for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm never going to be rich and famous because I'm too busy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you had to pay me for sex, what would you do first? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Jellicle Cats come out tonight, Jellicle Cats come one, come all, the time for _ is now, Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Listen son, your mother and I are getting a divorce, and it's because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My grandkids need _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Puff the Magic _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The six things I could never do without: oxygen, facebook, chocolate, netflix, friends, and _ LOL!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To boost morale after Hurricane Harvey, President Trump gave a guy in a pick-up truck _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tonight's Final Jeopardy category is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was a little girl I always wanted to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why would I want _ stuffed down my throat?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "YAAAAAAS! You are serving me _ realness!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You are under arrest for _, again!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You like my cupcakes? I made them myself. The secret ingredient is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You won't find this in textbooks, but _ is the real reason the US entered World War II.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ be all like _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Brought to you by _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Art isn't just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As reparations for slavery, all African Americans will receive _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As Teddy Roosevelt said, the four manly virtues are honor, temperance, industry, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Best you go back where you came from, now. We don't take too kindly to _ in these parts.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "CNN breaking news! Scientists discover _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Coming to Red Lobster® this month, _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Congratulations! You have been selected for our summer internship program. While we are unable to offer a salary, we can offer you _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dance like there's nobody watching, love like you'll never be hurt, and live like you're _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Errbody in the club _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Feeling so grateful! #amazing #mylife #_.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Girls just wanna have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Google Calendar alert: _ in 10 minutes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't believe in God. I believe in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got rhythm, I've got music, I've got _. Who could ask for anything more?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I tell you, it was a non-stop fuckfest. When it was over, my asshole looked like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'll take the BBQ bacon burger with friend egg and fuck it how about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm sorry, sir, but your insurance plan doesn't cover injuries caused by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I've had a horrible vision, father. I saw mountains crumbling, stars falling from the sky. I saw _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If at first you don't succeed, try _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the 1950s, psychologists prescribed _ as a cure for homosexually.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "LSD + _ = really bad time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mom's to-do list:\\n * Buy Groceries\\n * Clean up _.\\n * Soccer Practice.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Most Americans would not vote for a candidate who is openly _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! I will NOT let _ ruin this wedding.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh no! Siri, how do I fix _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One more thing. Watch out for Big Mike. They say he killed a man with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ooo, daddy like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Poor Brandon, still living in his parent's basement. I heard he never got over _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "She's a lady in the streets, _ in the sheets.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "She's just one of the guys, you know? She likes beer, and football, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Son, take it from someone who's been around the block a few times. Nothin' puts her in the mood like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Summer lovin', had me a blast. _, happened so fast.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The top Google auto-complete results for \"Barack Obama\":\\nBarack Obama Height.\\nBarack Obama net worth.\\nBarack Obama _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Then the princess kissed the frog, and all of a sudden the frog was _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There is no God. It's just _ and then you die.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This Friday at the Liquid Lunge, it's _ Night! Ladies drink free.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We do not shake with our left hands in this country. That is the hand we use for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Well if _ is a crime, then lock me up!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Well, shit. My eyes ain't so good, but I'll eat my own boot if that ain't _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What are all those whales singing about?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What sucks balls?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What totally destroyed my asshole?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What turned me into a Republican?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What will end racism once and for all?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's a total waste of Hillary Clinton's time?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's about to take dance floor to the next level?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the gayest?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the most problematic?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am I laughing and crying and taking off my clothes?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "With a one-time gift of just $10, you can save this child from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You know who else liked _? Hitler.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You won't believe what's in my pussy. It's _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Mrs. Robinson, you want me to provide _ and _ for this affair?\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Wait! I thought you had the lube for _!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After _, the elevator ride got really uncomfortable.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Afterward, I realized having my grandmother over for _ on her birthday may not have been the best idea I've ever had.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "He didn't want sex, he wanted _ with _. I can work with that.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe that _ is now being taught to kids as young as seven!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I realized that my tastes have turned much trashier since my experience with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm totally turned on when someone wears glasses and has _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Most things cleaned up fairly easily, but I'm still trying to get the liquid latex out of my _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Newbies think they're kinky when they've had _. Then they go to their first party and get their minds blown when they see people _. (And maybe not just their minds...)",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Note to self: _ is not an acceptable form of contraception.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Someone was a bad girl. Now you're going to need to be punished with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sure, I like humiliation, but _ is a hard limit.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The last time I misbehaved, my Master punished me with _. I won't do that again.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's a new Fetlife group for fans of _ at fetlife.com/_.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Until last night, it had never occurred to me to try _ on _ on the kitchen counter. Talk about fun!!!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We lucked out. The cop who pulled us over didn't check and we had _ in the trunk!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We were just making dinner and having some wine when we got distracted by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who's to say that love needs to be soft, gentle, and sweet? Not when it can involve _...",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am I wet?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why was a clean-up needed on aisle 6?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You have _?! Oh my god! Put it in my mouth!!!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "*RANDOM*\\nHand this card to another player and have them: MAKE A LOUD FART NOISE",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "*RANDOM*\\nHand this card to another player and have them: MAKE SILLY FACES FOR THIRTY SECONDS",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "*RANDOM*\\nHand this card to another player and have them: SING A SONG",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "*RANDOM*\\nHand this card to another player and have them: TELL A FUNNY STORY",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "*RANDOM*\\nHand this card to another player and have them: TELL A JOKE",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Did you hear about the new boy band? They are called _ on the Block.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Eating _ makes me stronger.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Eenie, meenie, miney, mo. Catch a tiger by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every time I sneeze, _ comes out of my nose.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Follow the _ brick road.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Frog legs don't taste like chicken, the taste like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Go _ in a bucket and smell it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Got any _? I'll trade you for it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How did these _ get broken?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I accidentally downloaded _ onto my iPhone.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I always put bacon on my _ for breakfast.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am always embarrassed when I _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am going to name my new dog _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am going to try out for my schools _ team.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am going to wear a _ to prom.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am not allowed to use my computer unless I _ first.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am totally awesome at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe I accidentally _ in front of everyone at the school play.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe my teacher gave me _ to do over school vacation.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't wait to go to Camp _ this summer!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I found a _ in my school lunch, but I ate it anyway.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hope I don't _ on the roller coaster.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I jumped into the ocean and found _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I just got some _ stuck in my braces.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like spaghetti and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like to dip my french fries in _ and eat them.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like to fill my water ballons up with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like to take pictures of _ on my phone.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I love my babysitter! She always brings us _ when she comes over.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I love the beach and the feeling of _ between my toes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I made it halfway through _ before falling asleep",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I think hot dogs taste like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I took a selfie with _ on the bus.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I use _ as bait when I go fishing.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was late to class and forgot my _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was on a hayride and _ jumped out and scared me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was sent to the principals office for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I went fishing and caught _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wished for _ on my birthday last year",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever bounces off of me, sticks to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm the only one of my friends without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If Bigfoot came to your house, what would you feed him for dinner?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I were a superhero, I would be Super _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you forgot your lunch money, how would you pay for lunch?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In class today, we learned how to say _ in Spanish.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instant oatmeal. Just add _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of turkey this year, my family is going to eat _ for Thanksgiving.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's raining cats and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kids Create Absurdity makes me want to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Knock, knock.\\nWho's there?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last night I dreamt about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Look up at the sky and wish upon a _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My babysitter says I can't have a snack until I clean up all of my _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My best friends always pick their _ in class.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My birthday party is going to be epic because _ is coming.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My dentist always yells at me for not brushing my _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My dogs breath smells like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite book is about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My friends and I like to play hide and go _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My imaginary friend likes to _ when we hang out.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My school bus driver smells like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My two favorite pizza toppings are olives and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Rock, paper, scissors, _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Snug as a bug in a _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The back to school list had _ on it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The monkeys at the zoo always throw _ at me when I walk by.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The new iPhone is called iPhone _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The new national holiday is called _ Day.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The secret password is: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The story of my life is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's a new _ in town.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They opened up a Disney called _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They wrote an article about me in the paper because I grew the worlds longest _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This Halloween I am going to dress up as _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We go together like apples and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We played baseball with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do you get when you mix a pig and a cow?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the one thing you don't want your parents to find in your backpack?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What perfume are you wearing?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What was that gross thing you found in your school lunch?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What would you do for one hundred dollars?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What would you give the president for a birthday gift?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's for dinner?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's that on your face?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am alone, I like to think about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I get home from school, my favorite TV show to watch is _ and Friends.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I go to college I am going to study _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When it snows I like to build _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you're mad or feeling sad, just go _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who do you think you are?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who will be the next President?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why did the fusion exchanges end?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why didn't you pass your homework in on time?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why does my breath smell so bad?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "2 fish, 4 potato fritters, 1 scoop of chips and _, crumbled if possible.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "27 million would have been a cheap spend for a new flag featuring _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Air New Zealand has released their latest safety video, featuring _, _ & _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Always blow on _, Safer communities together!!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "An unconsentual _ during a game a league.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Being the first country to give women the vote has resulted in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Brian Tamaki lustfully eyeing up _ in the church bathrooms.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Can't believe Bill English put _ on his pizza.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Chris Warner saying: \"Please tell me that is not your _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Cook the man _, BITCH...!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do the Mahi, get _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Domestic Violence is not ok! But it is okay to ask for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gapping it faster than Mark Lundy, driving away from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey Chardonnay, wanna see _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hopeful Christians predecessor and the new head of Gloriavale. Please welcome _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I live with crippling trust issues, due to the time my Mum put _ in the Watties tomato sauce bottle.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd love to throw a dildo at the face of _ on live TV.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm out of coffee, so the only thing keepig me alive right now is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In breaking news: they've finally entered Pike River mine, just to find _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the follow up to his #1 Best Seller \"Own Your Future\", David Seymour has teased _, a documentary series focused on _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Karma is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Left _ outside the dairy. Nekk minnit _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Me oh my, I have enjoyed _ yes boi.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh yeah nah nah, _'ll be alright.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Popping _ off the Rainbow Warrior.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Setting _ on fire at the Hyde Street keg party.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sharron with the bright pink comb over just bowled in here asking to speak to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "So then he says, \"If you want to make this relationship work, you need to give up _ and _.\"\\n\\nAs. If.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Susan Paul, is famous for her glowing _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tauranga is full of Christians, old people and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The worldwide conspiracy to leave NZ off of maps is a direct result of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The worst thing about growing up in Aotearoa is definitely _'s _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct-tape, number 8 wire & _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Throwing _ at Steven Joyce.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today on the Health Spot, we talk about how _ can aid in keeping you fit and healthy this winter.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tonight on Police 10 7 we're chasing _, rumoured to be responsible for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Turning a box of Cody's into a _ charge.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Undies, undies, undies, _, togs.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Unless that pie is a man who loves another man, it's not _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Waitangi day is about broadcasting _, throwing _, at, _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When all anyone seems interested in is that you're from the land of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When auntie goes in for a Hongi, but you surprise her with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When the ghost of your mate who died drink driving offers you _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When Winston turns down the National party for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you find _ in the $20 family pack you bought at the fish and chip shop.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "While he uses the phrase quite regularly, John Campbell has admitted that the only thing he truly finds MARVELOUS is in fact _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yo yo here we go _ on the Erin Simpson show",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You just can't beat the Mad Butcher's _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're not in _ anymore, Dr. Rapata.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A Bad Hombres' celebration always include _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A day in the life of a Bad Hombre has plenty of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A good solution for the Bad Hombres dilemma would be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A trip to Mexico can make you so happy because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bad Hombres actually enjoy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bad Hombres' biggest weakness is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How will Mexico pay for the wall?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mexico and U.S. will reunite once they get rid of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Telemundo will make a fortune with a reality show about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best part of losing my virginity in Mexico was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The real hobby of El Chapo is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The real reason that Bad Hombres should be kicked out of the U.S. is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Trump's Spanish pronunciation provokes _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What are Bad Hombres full of?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What are Bad Hombres proud of?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do Bad Hombres' real housewives like?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What gets Bad Hombres horny?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is a Bad Hombre afraid of?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is always in the mind of a Bad Hombre?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the biggest problem with Bad Hombres crossing the border?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the reason to protect the Bad Hombres?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is Trump's worst nightmare?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What makes Bad Hombres laugh hysterically?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What would not be fake news?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's a Bad Hombre best friend?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's trending among Bad Hombres?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am I loving my Bad Hombre?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why do some Americans like the wall?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why hasn't my friend crossed the border?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is Donald Trump obsessed with the wall?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is in the mystery meat.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ made me rethink my sexual orientation.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ makes me have to shit SO BAD!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ sponsored by Crystal Meth.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: American's favorite Broadway musical",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: The Best! Day! Ever!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? Really?! Holy Shit, Russia!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Beauty and the _ is my favorite Disney movie!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Beware of the ides of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Doc, it burns when I pee. Could it be because _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Eat your _, child.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For only 1 dollar a day, you can provide a child in Nigeria with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I found out the hard way. You cannot sneak _ into a penitentiary.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In my day, _ only cost a nickel.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On Christmas, Mother always stuffs the turkey with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Rather than donating clothes to local charities, I prefer to give them _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best part of waking up is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The human race is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Humpty Dance is your chance to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The local butcher sells delicious meat made from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tommy looted a dead corpse and found _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What are all the cool kids doing?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do I scream before I ejaculate?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What makes the world a better place?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's in the back of my white paneled van?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am I so constipated?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why are all the children dying?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You want the whole truth? You can't handle the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ always help(s) \"Insert Name\" relax.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ always make(s) \"Insert Name\" cry for hours.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ makes \"Insert Name\" scream at the top of his/her lungs.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_is/are known to make \"Insert Name\" extra horny.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" best pick up line involves _ and a hot dog.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" favourite board game is _opoly.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" forecast for this weekend is a whole lot of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" grandmother always included carrots, onions and _ in her famous soup.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" mother doesn't approve of his/her new hobby because it involves collecting _ and then setting them on fire.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" new reality show is called \"It's All About _, A Look At My Life.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" updated relationship status is \"Single and looking for _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" always says his/her hopes there are a lot of _ in Hell.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" believes an apple a day keeps the _ away.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" couldn't resist the sale at the mall and spent a small fortune on _ in every colour.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" doesn't think society should protect _ from predators.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" donated $1000 to his/her favourite charity that supports _ in Africa.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" ended their last relationship because their boyfriend/girlfriend kept pushing _ on them.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" enjoyed _ so much that he/she can't wait to try it again.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" farts smell worse than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" filled his/her swimming pool with _ and took a dip.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" forgot to delete his/her browsing history and was caught looking at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" got pulled over by the police today and was caught with a large assortment of _ in the trunk.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" has 24 hours left to live and wants to spend it doing lots of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" has invented a new sport that involves throwing _ into a hole.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" has to see a psychiatrist because his/her traumatizing run-in with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" hopes no one will find out about his/her fetish for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" hopes politicians legalize public _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" is grossed out by touching _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" is soooo embarrassed because he/she had sex with lots of _ last night.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" is starting a new diet tomorrow comprised solely of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" is still sticky from all the _he/she enjoyed earlier.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" is the captain of a ship that specializes in shipping containers of _ from China.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" just bought used _ on eBay™.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" just got a Nobel Peace Prize™ for his/her work with _ in third world countries.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" just told me about his/her latest conspiracy plot involving world domination and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" likes to count _ to help him/her fall asleep at night.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" lost his/her virginity with a whole bunch of _ in the room.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" loves to watch porn with large _ in them.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" needs an intervention. His/Her addiction to _ is totally out of control.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" really wants a Christmas filled with _ this year.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" recently got kicked out of the mall for his/her involvement on the theft of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" says _ are a must for all romantic occasions.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" says _ always get(s) him/her laid.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" says a good workout always includes punching _ at the gym.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" says he/she always buys enough _ to share with his/her family around the holidays.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" says he/she watched a new reality TV series last night called \"America's Got _\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" says the true meaning of life can be found in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" says women are actually _ when they go to the washroom together.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" says, \"If I had a million dollars I'd buy _\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" spent a hard day at the office working on a project for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" spent all day on the toilet and ended up shitting out _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" spent all his/her money on _ instead of supporting his/her family.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" thinks _ is better than sex with twins.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" told me that they keep having wet dreams about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" wakes up every morning saying he/she will never mix _ and alcohol again.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" was fired for an incident involving _ at work.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" was stopped at the border for bringing _ back from Thailand last week.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" was surprised to find that you are prohibited from doing _ on a plane.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" watched a Pay Per View documentary about _ last night.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" woke up one morning and found a dozen _ in the kitchen.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A homeless man ran up to \"Insert Name\" and rubbed his _ all over his/her face.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After trying to sell his/her favourite _ on eBay™, \"Insert Name\" decided to give it his/her grandmother.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Airport security is totally out of control, on his/her last vacation \"Insert Name\" was stopped for having _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Awkward ... I saw \"Insert Name\" with _ on Saturday night.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Back when \"Insert Name\" was a kid he/she had to work hard for his/her _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Did you just hear \"Insert Name\" just say he/she was going to eat _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Did you see? \"Insert Name\" accidentally posted a picture of themselves doing _ on Facebook™.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During college, \"Insert Name\" often experimented with _ and LSD.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Everyone has skeletons in their closet and I hope no one ever finds out \"Insert Name\" likes to swallow _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For \"Insert Name's\" next magic trick, he/she will pull a _ out of a hat.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am so proud of \"Insert Name\", he/she just tried _ for the first time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe \"Insert Name\" just said he/she loves _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I found out that \"Insert Name\" is selling _ online.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I had to bail \"Insert Name\" out of jail for stealing _ from a baby.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If \"Insert Name's\" genitals could talk, they would ask for more _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If \"Insert Name\" could change one thing in the world, he/she would change how we think of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If \"Insert Name\" was president, the first thing he/she would do is ban all _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In \"Insert Name's\" memoirs he/she is going to reveal the biggest secret about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's so sad. Even with _, \"Insert Name\" can't get a date.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Its important to always bring _ when going to the bar with \"Insert Name\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last night \"Insert Name\" confessed he/she had _ trapped in the basement.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last time I went to a club with \"Insert Name\" he/she brought home _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last Year for Christmas \"Insert Name\" gave all of his/her friends _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last year, \"Insert Name\" got a new sweater for his/her birthday, but returned it and bought tickets to see _ instead.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On Christmas break \"Insert Name\" received _, the gift that keeps on giving.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "People say Paris is the city of love, but based on \"Insert Name's\" trip, it seems to be the city of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Right before bedtime, when \"Insert Name\" was a kid, grandma would tell stories about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best childhood memory that \"Insert Name\" has is all the _ he/she got to eat at the carnival.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The blender always has a hard time cutting through _ when \"Insert Name\" make's his/her breakfast smoothie.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When \"Insert Name\" and I went to New York City we found a pair of dried up _ on the subway.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When \"Insert Name\" and I were in Cuba, he/she spent the whole time learning to make homemade _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When \"Insert Name\" goes to heaven he/she hopes there will be lots of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When \"Insert Name\" was a child he/she used to draw pictures of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When \"Insert Name\" was told to organize a surprise party for his/her long lost brother, he/she decided to rent several _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When \"Insert Name\" woke up this morning he/she had a tattoo of _ on his/her lower back.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When cooking a romantic dinner, \"Insert Name\" always includes _ in his/her recipe.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When the earthquake hit last week, \"Insert Name's\" first concern was to save his/her collection of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When the police showed up at \"Insert Name's\" orgy, they recovered the 100 missing _ they were looking for.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ broke six of my ribs.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ in your car triples your chance of being pulled over.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ should be taught in schools.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"I'm sorry, Mario, but our princess is _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Authorities were baffled when they found out the killer was actually _ all along.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Call of Duty: Modern _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Controversy erupted when the Pope gave his blessing to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Disney's experimental amusement park centered around the theme of _ was a colossal failure.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Experts agree: The global financial crisis was caused by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hello. I'd like to order a large cheese pizza and a side of _, please.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe they actually made \"_ For Dummies.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't stop myself, I just have to eat _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have a restraining order that prevents me from coming within 500 feet of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you get toys from a Happy Meal, what would you get from a Sad Meal?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Jesus's guilty pleasure was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kids these days have no respect for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last April Fools Day, my friends went too far with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mike Tyson + _ = Instant YouTube hit.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My New Year's resolution is to stop _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Never gonna give _ up.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oprah Winfrey surprised her audience by giving everyone _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Paper beats Rock, Rock beats Scissors, Scissors beat Paper, and _ beats all of them.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Protip: \"Hey, let me show you _!\" is not a good pickup line.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Rumor has it that the Oval Office has a bit red button labeled \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Superman's other lesser-known weakness is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's one new thing everyone should try before taking a shower?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You'll understand _ when you're older.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your charitable contribution will help provide clothing, food, and clean water to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ always reminds \"Insert Name\" of fun times with his/her grandma.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" bar serves a world famous drink called _ on the beach.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" family moonshine recipe combines sugar with _, to make it go down smooth.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" partner always had lame excuses not to try _ in the sack.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name's\" wedding photographer was shocked that she has to take pictures of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" admitted he/she has a weakness for nail polish and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" believes that _ guarantees fertility.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" expects there will be _ in his/her bed when he/she gets home from game night.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" has always found that _ works better than sex enhancing drugs.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" has been spending all his/her money at the local fetish bar that specializes in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" knocked his/her date out cold with a _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" saw _ in the movies and thought he/she would give it a whirl, turns out he/she loves it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" thought _ was better than any internet cat videos.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" thought he/she was a _ vampire.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" thought you could prevent hair loss by avoiding _ like the plague.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" was aspiring to become a doctor, but ended up as a _ junkie.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" was caught at the county fair with _ and the prize winning bull.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" was enjoying _ with his/her intern when the office door opened and his/her boss came in.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" wishes his/her never ate beans before heading out for a night of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Insert Name\" woke up with _ on his/her face.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During the 'sex talk' \"Insert Name's\" mother never warned him/her about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During the first aid training \"Insert Name\" learned to use _ to save lives.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Everyone wonders if \"Insert Name's\" mom was ever involved with _ when she was in her prime.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the last election \"Insert Name\" voted for the only woman candidate because of her love for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mom said \"Insert Name\" can have all the _ he/she wants, just don't get any on the carpet.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On his/her new job application \"Insert Name\" lied and claimed to have 6 years experience with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On the first date \"Insert Name\" thought it was normal to bring _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The biggest motivator to help \"Insert Name\" quit smoking was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The last time \"Insert Name\" was stuck in an elevator he/she survived by eating _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Somali pirates let \"Insert Name\" go free after they found his/her valuable stash of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The story of \"Insert Name\" lost his/her virginity involves that back seat of a car, a security guard, a flashlight, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When \"Insert Name's\" skin feels rough he/she uses _to get it silky smooth.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When \"Insert Name\" knocks on heaven's door, he/she hopes St. Peter does not know about his/her _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When \"Insert Name\" watches his/her cousin folding underwear, he/she thinks about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "While going for a run through the city park \"Insert Name\" found two ducks fighting over _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ builds trust between friends.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a dying art form.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a surprisingly tasty pizza topping.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the secret ingredient in Coca-Cola®.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Diary, my parents have no idea I spent the day _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Elect me school president and I will get rid of _ forever!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I found a mysterious clump of Play-Doh® in the shape of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I had a dream Wonder Woman™ and I were _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I think I might nickname myself _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm going to name my band _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's a good thing I am allergic to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Some days you wake up with an unexplainable desire for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The day I woke uyp and realized I was too old for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The hills are alive with the sound of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The sweet sensation of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is Grandpa hiding from us?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When the bully asked for my lunch money, I gave 'em _ instead.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why hasn't anyone created an emoji for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ burns 360 calories per hour.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ can help any relationship.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ can save you 15% or more on car insurance.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is rare. If you find it, keep it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ kills about 450 people in the United States a year.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. A metaphor for life.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Strong enough for a man, meant for a woman.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Tastes awful, but it works!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "$100? Highway robbery! For that much I'd expect _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A magician never reveals _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A true friend is someone who _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As a kid, I was afraid _ was hiding under my bed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At my last physical, the doctor told me I need to cut back on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Back in my day _ only cost a quarter.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Choosy moms choose _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Cleaning while the kids are awake is like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do you want to join my band? It's called _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't be silly! Of course I can _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dude, it's a _ cheer up!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Find a guy who ruins your _, not your mascara.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For only $19.99 plus shipping and handling you can get _ delivered right to your door.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Go-go gadget _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Good morning, people! You're _ is awake... let the fun begin!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Having kids is like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "He reeked of _ when he was pulled over.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "He who controls _, controls the world.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Horton is always forcing his _ on other people.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I always call in sick to work when I have a bad case of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am filthy rich because I invested heavily in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am so over _ and it hasn't even started yet.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe you like _ too. We should hang out sometime.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't get no _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I didn't have any plans for the weekend, until I found _ in the attic.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I do _ on the side for some extra cash.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't know how I got sick, but I suspect it had something to do with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I eat _ for breakfast!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hate when people think I am _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I kissed _ and I like it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I know you're my best friend because you _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like sushi, but I have my doubts about the _ roll.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like to party... and by party I mean _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I lost my innocence when I saw _ for the first time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I said, \"Do you speak my language?\" He just smiled and gave me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I want 30 sliders, 5 french fries and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I want to go to school to study _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd rather be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm usually a vegan, but I'll make an exception for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If _ were an Olympic sport, I'd take home the gold.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If it weren't for _, my mind would have nowhere to go.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In hindsight having _ at a child's birthday party was a bad idea.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the grim darkness of the far future there is only _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Is _ an instrument?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It is said that the Inuit have 40 different words for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's a fine line between pleasure and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's always fun when _ are at the pool.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's often argued that our ancestors would have never evolved without the aid of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Life was difficult for cavement before _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mama always said life is like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "May I live to the age that I am _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mom, I am not explaining _ to you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mom, thank you for not _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Moral at work was boosted when they put _ in the vending machines.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My cousin got kicked out of the house after she brought home _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite childhood memory is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My high school yearbook reads \"Most likely to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My newest docuseries deals with people coping with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My other car is a _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing is better than cruising at 30,000 feet with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh no! _ is my only weakness!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Once upon a time I was sweet and innocent. Then _ happened.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One moment while it _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One thing all Republican candidates have in common? All of them are going to say that they want to destroy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Remember there is no \"I\" in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Remember to look both ways before you _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Roads were closed today due to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Say no to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sorry I'm late I was too busy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Stop staring at my _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Studies have shown _ is good for you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sweet dreams are made of _. Who am I to disagree?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thank heavens, my mom remembered to pack _ in my lunch today.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best part of waking up is _ in your cup.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best picture from summer vacation is of _. _ can be deceiving.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The hot new nightclub in town is called _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The quality of service you may receive will depend directly on your _ and my mood.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The road to success is paved with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The savvy New Yorker's guide to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The theme for our senior prom will be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There is nothing worse than seeing _ in the light of day.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today I got _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Trust me; I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Try walking a mile in my _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Watch out for _. They will cut you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We don't negotiate with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We've become a nation of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Well that sure went over like a _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What exactly are you a doctor of?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am sitting on the toilet I like to think about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You are like the _ of my life.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You better not put _ in your mom's Crockpot.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You can never have too much _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You kids have it easy today. Back in my day we had to work for our _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You never want to see how _ is made.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're as useless as _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're in good hands with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is finger licking good.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ now Gluten Free!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ x _ = _",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A 450 million year old fossil of _ scientists didn't know existed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Besides watching animals fornicate, nothing gets me going more than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During foreplay, I close my eyes and visualize _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "George, George, George of the jungle, watch out for _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I decided to become an activist and fight for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It makes me sad to think about?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My biggest idol is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Right after sex I like to think about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The absolute worse thing on this earth is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The cause of most divorces is likely a result of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The greatest lie ever told was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The most gut-wrenching thing known to man is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing worse than _ is _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The reason for my non-existent sex life is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The world would be a better place is _ and _ happened.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did I do that caused my parents to beat me as a child?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What explains me only being able to pee sitting down?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is my greatest skill?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the reason no one likes me?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What keeps me up at night?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What makes me cry myself to sleep every night?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What makes me feel empowered?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What will be my first purchase once I become rich and famous?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What works 80% of the time 100% of the time?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yeah? Well, your MOM is _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your friendly neighborhood _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ and _ make for the best family vacations.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a timeless symbol of parenthood.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the best birth control.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is why I am a failure as a parent.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is worse than _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is worse than stepping on a Lego.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "All I want for Christmas is a day without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Before kids, I never thought about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Box of diapers: $40.\\nFood for the week: $200.\\n_: priceless.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Brown bear,\\nbrown bear,\\nwhat do\\nyou see?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Caution! _ leads to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Daddy's worst nightmare.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't judge me because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't tell Daddy about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "First there was a war on drugs, then a war on terrorism, what we really need is a war on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Have kids they said, it'll be fun they said. Instead, we got _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How we got your little brother.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I call this hairstyle _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I htought we were done with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I lie to my children about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish I could unsee _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would pay for someone to explain _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd rather deal with _ than _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm an asshole parent because _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Junior's favorite cockblock.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My best parenting advice involves _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My college degree did not prepare me for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My daughter should never know about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My most recent gray hair is from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My mother was right about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next up, Daniel Tiger sings a catchy tune about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Normally I can cope, but _ broke me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh no! The school principal just called about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our code name for sex is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our perfect date night ended with an argument over _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our perfect family evening was ruined by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Please don't put _ in your mouth.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Pregnancy: the end of _ and the start of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "School guidelines now prohibit _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sesame Street should have a show about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Signs that you are THAT family.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best bedtime stories include _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best birthday parties have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best part of being a stay-at-home parent is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The school field trip was ruined by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The two secrets to stress-free parenting are _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The two things that happen at every family reunion.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There is a new smartphone app to help with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today's epic parenting fail.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today's parenting win!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Trying to get pregnant? Try _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We were late to school today because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We were perfect parents until _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is keeping mommy up at night?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is making things awkward at the PTA meeting?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is that smell?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What the f**k is that?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's Mom's best friend?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I look into my child's eyes, I see _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When my kids are grown, I will not miss _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why did Mommy lock herself in the bathroom?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why didn't someone warn me about _?!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why does Mommy drink?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why I need therapy.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is Daddy in time out again?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is Mommy crying?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why we are banned from Disneyland.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why we don't want any more kids.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why? Because _ causes _, that's why?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is no way to go through life. Kid.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ works in mysterious ways.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: melts in my mouth, not in my hands.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After _, I don't take anything for granted.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After \"the incident.\" we changed out safeword from _ to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Penthouse Forum, it all started with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For 50% of the people involved, _ is hilarious.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Four out of five dentists can't be wrong! You should try _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I didn't think I'd be that into pegging... until she tried _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In hindsight, _ was probably ill-advised.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Make America great at _ again.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "New York's hottest new cocktail is called _: one part bourbon, two parts _, and a splash of _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Say what you will about _, but at least it never killed anybody.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sure, _ was an unlikely source of income during college, but $20 is $20, right?!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing better than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is a _ and _ sandwich.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The power of _ compels you!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The terrorists won when we had to give up _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Three cheers for _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What caused the lap dance to take an unexpected turn?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What does my German pen pal write to me about?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is Dick Cheney's alibi for the night Justice Scalia died?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When they came for _, I did nothing. When they came for _, I sat idly by. But when they came for _, they went too far.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You haven't really been high until you've been _ high.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ can help any relationship",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ showed us that _ is a great homemade hangover remedy.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. No homo.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"I have _.\" - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A fortune teller said my life would be filled with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After suffering in agony for eight millennia in Hell, my penis split open and _ flew out.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ah! Your rival! What was his name again?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As a parent, I get excited about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As your commanding officer, I order you to perform _ for my amusement.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Because of my investment in Bitcoin, soon I'll be able to afford _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Calm down, dear, it's only _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Christmas was ruined for me when my Uncle Larry got me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Drop the kids off, call in sick, then hurry home to enjoy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Here's the draw: $1,000,000 every week for the rest of your life. Here's the catch: You're involved with _ for the rest of your life.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Heroin: a proud supporter of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I just received the report from the doctor. Turns out I have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like my coffee like I like my men: filled with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I peeled the banana like I always did, but this time I found _ inside it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In an exclusive CNN interview, the Pope revealed his new hobby: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Introducing powdered _! Simply add water to activate.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let's do _ again! This is fun!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My best friend died texting while driving. The last text she sent before crashing was about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best Christmas present Grandma ever gave was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The hills are alive, with the sound of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The last thing you will see before you die: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This Thanksgiving, I'm most thankful for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yes, Mr. Death ... I'll play your game! But not chess! My game is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You have 72 hours to deliver the gold, or you'll face _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ happens because I touch myself at night.",
|
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"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. A woman's best friend.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "_. The reason I cry myself to sleep at night.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. You complete me.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "3 things that improve with age. 1. Men 2. Wine 3. _",
|
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"pick": 1
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|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Acid trips always start with _ & end with _.",
|
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"pick": 2
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "Ain't no sunshine when she's _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "Autopsy results show his penis was severed by _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Congress declared Marshall law because of _ & _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Donald Trump eats _ for breakfast.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey little girl. What's that in your hand?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How does one win the heart of a beautiful woman?",
|
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"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I fill my butt with _ for storage purposes.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was forced to resign when the pictures of _ surfaced.",
|
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"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm a glass half full of _ kind of person.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "I'm getting to old for _.",
|
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"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kanye West attributes his genius to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "Please keep hands, feet and _ inside the vehicle at all times.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "Step 1. _ Step 2. _ Step 3. Party",
|
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"pick": 2
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The CDC says the outbreak was due to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The yellow brick road actually leads to _.",
|
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"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There is only one way to handle this ISIS situation _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They may take our lives, but they will never take our _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do Kim Jong-Un, Putin and Trump all have in common?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What happened to my bed sheets?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is missing from my sex life?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the difference between me and you? You have you shit together and I like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who or what is my spirit animal?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why haven't I gotten laid recently?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why so serious? _. That's why.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ For Dummies is actually the best-selling book in the series.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. MILLIONS ARE DEAD!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. That's how I met your mother.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. There were no survivors.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Give _ a chance! He'll grow on you!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am vengeance. I am the night. I am _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I didn't have any plans for the weekend until I found _ in the attic.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I just filled my 1.5 TB hard drive with pictures of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wanna put _ in her!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was strangely proud when my kid asked Santa for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm ashamed to admit that I have traded sexual favors for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I've been _ like eight times already.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It was bound to happen. _ has taken over the world.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's all fun and games until someone loses _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's never a bad time for _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kids and grown-ups love it so, the happy world of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My goddamn roommate is so immature, I actually had to post a \"NO _\" sign.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Once _ hits your lips, it's so good.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Rolling around at the speed of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Speak softly and carry _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's a convention for _? Sign me up!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do I remind my parents of?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the imminent threat to our nation's youth?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's my anti-boner?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When the going gets tough, the tough get _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why can't I sit down today?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why did I get kicked out of the house?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ 2: Electric Boogaloo",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ IS NOT A WEDDING THEME, CHAD!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? I thought you meant _! That explains why everyone is staring.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? I'd rather have _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? Looks like them Duke Boys are at it again.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? Title of your sex tape.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A new study shows that period cramps are actually caused by _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "DC is really scraping the bottom of the barrel with the new Batman movie. They're calling it Batman: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "He kept yelling \"_\"! I didn't know it was his safe word!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hello IT, have you tried _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hello. My name is Elder Price, and I would like to share with you the most amazing _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Honey, I have good news, and bad news. The good news is that I'm _. The bad news is that I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I consider myself pretty adventurous in the bedroom, but when my partner suggested _, I had to draw the line.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I still remember the last thing my best friend said to me before he died. He held my hand, looked me in the eye, and whispered _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you sign up for our Platinum Membership, you'll get _, absolutely free!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Imagine our shock when we walked in on our son live streaming _ to the world. He is SO grounded.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the newest film from Taika Waititi, _ finds _ in the woods and long story short, results in _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Jenny McCarthy has moved on from vaccines and is now spreading misinformation that _ causes autism.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mommy? What does _ mean?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My credit card got canceled for suspicious activity when _, _, and _ showed up in my purchase history.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our church? We go to St. James of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They're all talking about _, but we're ACTUALLY doing it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What are 3 things you didn't learn in school?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What are the 3 secrets for a long and happy marriage?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What killed the mood?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What would win in a fight, _ or _?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yeah, I seen him, Sheriff. He was _ with a big ol _ strapped to his back.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're never fully clean unless you're _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your mom's name is Brenda because _ was already taken!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "YouTube is now demonetizing any videos containing _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ really ruined PrideFest for me this year.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Casa Bonita is now offering a 2-for-1 Cliff diving and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Colorado natives know that when it smells like _, it's going to snow.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Colorado's next big public art installation will depict _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Have you tried a Denver omelette, but with _ instead of ham? It's the only way I'll order mine now.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How do we get people to stop moving to Colorado?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How do you know if you have altitude sickness?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I belong with you, you belong with me, you're _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't do the BolderBOULDER, I run _ instead.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was supposed to go to Taste of Colorado, but I got stuck _ instead.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one ever talks about _ on the top of Lookout Mountain.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now you have a friend in the _ business.\" - Tom Shane",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "People in Boulder really frown upon _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "People think CU-Boulder is the better school, but Metro students are more likely to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Since marijuana was legalized in Colorado, cases of _ have skyrocketed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Summit County: Come for the mountains, stay for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ted Haggard was banned from New Life Church after he was found in a hotel room with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The difference between New Mexico and Colorado green chile is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The edible contains a potent dose of _. Can you feel it yet?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Mile High Club? Amateur. I joined the _ club last year.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Nuggets never should have traded Chauncey Billups for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did you see the last time you were on Colfax?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What else can you buy used at Rocky's Autos?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What ruined my last tailgate at Sport Authority Field?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What should be a new sport in the X-Games this year?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What should be added to the Colorado flag?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What should be banned from Colorado?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What should you never add to your home microbrew?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's really below DIA?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the latest trend in Boulder?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the one thing we can all look forward to on opening day at Coors Field®?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the skeleton in Governor John Hickenlooper's closet?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When they built NORAD in 1957, they never could have imagined it would need to withstand _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You shouldn't swim in the Platte River, they found _ in there.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a slippery slope that leads to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Bet you can't have just one!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"_ Spice\" was one of the lesser-known Spice Girls.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A romantic evening would be incomplete without (a/an) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "ACSA guidlines now prohibit _ on aeroplanes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After the drought, Marc Lottering brought _ to the people of the Orania",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And the Academy award for _ goes to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Anthropologists have recently discovered a primitive tribe that worhips _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Before i kill you, Mr. Bond, i must show you _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Carte Blanche investigates _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Coming to the Artscape this season, _: The Musical",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Dr. Phil, I'm having trouble with _ and would like your advice.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Due to a PR fiasco, Woolworths no longer offers _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For my next trick I will pull _ out of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of _ of the United States.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got 99 problems but _ ain't one.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I know! We can blakcmail the Gupta family with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never truly understood _ until i encountered _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm sorry Proffessor, but i couldn't complete the assignment because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In 1,000 years, when paper money is but a distant memory, _ will be our new currency.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In addition to Black History month, Donald Trump has created _ history month.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In his new comedy, Casper de Vries us _ trapped in the body of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In its new tourism campaign, Soweto proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In KZN, there are whisperings that Nkandla has a secret room devoted to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Pretoria Central Prison, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the category _, the first prize is awarded to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the distan future, historians will agree that _ marked the beginning of South Africa's decline",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the latest politcal news, the Public Protector reveals that _ has really been _ all along.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "in the new Leon Schuster movie, Abdul Rajhbanja pranks _ for the first time",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In their new self-produced album, Die Antwoord raps over the sounds of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of electricity, my new hybrid car runs by converting _ into _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kyknet's new reality show features eight washed up celebrities cooking with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Life for the Bushmen was changed when the white man introduced them to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Lifetime® presents _ the story of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the chamber of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next on Supersport 1HD, the world series of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Rumour has it that Jacob Zuma's favourite dish is _ stuffed with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "STOP! The game ends here",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "That's the most fun I've ever had without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The government of South Africa has declared that access to _ is a basic human right.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Guptas have begun selling _ to the children of Jozi.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Scorpions interrogate suspects by repeatedly subjecting them to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The South African Rugby Union has banned _ for giving players an unfair advantage.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did i bring back from Zimbabwe?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did Suzelle DIY have for dinner?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do South African dogs smell like?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What does Steve Hofmeyr prefer?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What don't you want to find in your chinese food?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What evidence do you have that the Mexican government is sending criminals across the border?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What gives you uncontrollable gas?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What helps Julius Malema unwind?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is Pravin Gorhan's guilty pleasure?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the latest tabloid's freak-of-the-week?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What never fails to liven up a party",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What will immediatley put me in a foul mood?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's my morning-after cure?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's Mzansi using to inspire inner city students to succeed?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the new guy's callsign?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the secret ingredient in potjiekos?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Whats that sound?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Whats the next Happy Meal® toy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When all else fails, I can always drink a toast to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am a billionaire, i shall erect a 20m statue to commemorate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am President of South Africa, I will create a Department of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When i pooped, what came out?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When i was tripping on acid, _ turned into _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I'm in prison, I'll have _ smuggled in.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When in doubt, always _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a plague of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "While the United States raced the Soviet union to the moon, the South African government funnelled millions of Rands into research on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am i sticky?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why can't i sleep at night?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why do i hurt all over?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ (ing) That's how I want to climax!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ + _ = _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ always makes me cry.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ always makes me throw up.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is my guilty sexual pleasure.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is on the agenda after we finish this fuckin' game.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ me on my _ with _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ me with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will always put me in the mood.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will intensify my orgasm.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will make you sweaty and stinky.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: How far I'll go for free food.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: How I plan to spend my nights when I'm rich.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: the part of your body, you like touched first.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: The reason that girl was a real crowd pleaser.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "(insert name) died when _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "29 is the number of times I've _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A good glory hole has _ in it!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A hard cock! What's it good for? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Add lubricant to my _ so that we can _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After a hard night of sex I look like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After viewing our reflection in a mirror, I thought: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Anal Beads! _ is what they're good for.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As my sex slave, you'll be required to _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At my last Frat format, there was so much _, I _ (ed).",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bet I can give you _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bill got so fucked up at the last company holiday party, that everyone saw him _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bind me using _ and then tease me with _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Campus police arrested me for indecent _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Convince me to _ using your magical powers of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Cover my eyes with _ and then pleasure me with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Cover my eyes with _ before using _ to pleasure me.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Drip _ on my _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During sex I usually like to add a little _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During sex, I like to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fool me once _ me, fool me twice _ you.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For my next trick, I will insert _ into your _. Amazing!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Have you ever experimented with soft bondage by using a _ and _?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Home for the holidays was great until Mom walked in on me _ (ing).",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How I lost my virginity: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How I solve all my problems: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I beg you to _ me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I bet when you insert (a/an) _ into _ (he/she) will cry.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I command you to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I haven't gotten the chance, but I've always wanted to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like it rough, make sure you _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like to get kinky by using _ on my _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I look older than I should because I've had _ on my face so many times.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I really hate it when (insert name) _s.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I sent my last one night stand home via _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I used to think _ is where babies come from.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I want (a/an) _ for my next birthday.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I will _ if you reciprocate by _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'll get you off with a little help from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'll pleasure you using _ if you pleasure me with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'll watch while you masturbate using (a/an) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm going to be late to work because a _ got in my way.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm going to bend your naked bottom over my knee and _you!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm going to find your G-spot using _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I've always wanted to _ you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If my relationship doesn't involve _, then I don't want it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If not with my tongue, then with what? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If not with your finger, then with what? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If we have that wrestler join us in bed _ is sure to go down.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In high school, I was popular with the football team for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In high school, this girl tweeted about me, that I _(ed)!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In my highly-anticipated sex-tape; _ hits the fan when I _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of the bedroom let's have sex in (a/an) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "John from the office tried _ (ing) at the bar last night.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kiss me from head toe, then use _ to please me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let's _ each other's _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let's cover our bodies in oil before we _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let's do _ right now.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let's experiment with _ while _ (ing)",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let's get sticky with _. So we can _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let's role play by pretending that I'm a _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let's set the mood with soft music and candlelight before we _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Me after I do 3 squats: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Me: _. Alson Me: _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mood: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My expectations after the 3rd date are that we _, verses your expectations that we _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My last one night stand happened (in a ) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My math teacher sophomore year was fired for _ (ing) in class.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My neighbor shocked the block when he he was arrested for _ (ing).",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My plan for dominating you begins with a _ and ends with a _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My porn-star name would be _; and I'm famous for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My safe word is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My secret fantasy is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My Sorority was shut down for too much _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My titties can best be described as _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My weirdest hook-up involved _ and some circus tricks.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Netflix n Chill, more like _ n Chill!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one should ever find their parents _ (ing).",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one wants to _ but sometimes it just happens.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Open mouth insert _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Pleasure the back of my _ with (your/a ) _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Right as we were about to fuck, I was blind-sided by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sex in the shower would be better with (a/an) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sometimes pain can bring more pleasure. _ works for me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Step 1. _ Step 2. _ Step 3. Climax.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Talk dirty to me while I _ your _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tease my naked body with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The craziest place I ever had sex was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The first time I met up with someone off an App, we _ (ed).",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The last house party I went to, I walked in on (insert name) and (insert name) doing _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The last time I got _ed, I was 100% _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The more _ the Merrier!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The next time I see that Bitch from work, I'm gonna _ her.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The secret to a healthy sex life is _ (ing).",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The secret to great sex is always _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The strangest sex I ever had involved (a/an) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There was way too much _ during my first time for me to handle.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This morning when you woke up next to me I thought _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tie my hands with _ and then use your _ on my _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Two guys and a dude, that's what I call _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Up skirting is like _ for men.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Use a strap on to _ me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Use ice cubes on my _ so I can cool off.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Using (a/an) _ bring me to orgasm.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Using your hands, pleasyre my _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wake me up with _ Oh so good!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We will definitely have more fun if we bring _ into bed with us.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We'll start _ (ing) in the _, t.hen try _ in the mouth",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We'll start with 69 but end with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wearing a _ I'm going to _ you.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wet pussy! What is it good for? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's in my nightstand? (a/an) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When auto-correct changes \"Let's get fucked up tonight!\" to \"Let's _ tonight!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When we _, we use a safe word.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When we were walking past your house, I saw (a/an) _ in the window.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you're single AF: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "While performing oral, surprise them with (a/an) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wrap your _ around my _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You deserve a spanking using my _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You know they say, too much _ and you'll go blind.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You've been naughty so I'm going to punish you with (a/an) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ Spice was one of the lesser-known Spice Girls.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: It even makes it's own gravy!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: the best thing since slices bread.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_! All alone in the moonlight!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And behold, the fifth seal opened, and there was _ and with it came _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As a stripper, I have one rule: No _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Baby I'm _ on the streets, _ in the sheets.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Code Three, request backup! I'm surrounded by _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Could a brother get _ up in this bitch?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Forget Fifty Shades of Grey... Give me Fifty Shades of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never karaoke because I always end up getting drunk and singing a song about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm constantly confusing _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm finally writing that book, it's titles \"Zen and the Art of _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's all about _-no _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let it go! Let it go! _never bothered me anyway...",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My Therapist says I have an unhealthy attitude about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next on Adult Swim: The adventures of _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thank you Alex, I'll take _ for 800.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Turn the car around. I think I left _ back there.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What really gave Superman his powers?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was younger I read comics, but now I'm into _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why do men on the internet send me pictures of _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why so serious?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yo bro, you tired _? Shit's straight fire.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your kids with your fancy degrees... They don't teach ya' nothing' 'bout _ in school.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the one thing I can't live without.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is way better in virtual reality.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After smoking too much weed, I thought I was being chased by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "All dogs go to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "All that and a bag of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Close only counts with horse shoes and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Due to a clerical error, _ is still legal in Mississippi.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "ESPN is now broadcasting the new sport: Major League _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fortune cookie says: Nothing is impossible if you have _ in bed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Getting street cred the only way know how; _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never got a speeding ticket, but I once got _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm raising money on Kickstarter to fund _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm selling a kidney to pay for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I could take one thing with me to the afterlife, it would be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you're not supposed to eat _, why does it taste so good?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the future, the government will send someone back in time to warn us about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kazakhstan is now the world's number one exporter of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mattel's newest toy, _, is selling like hotcakes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next to ISIS, the biggest threat to global security is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing is certain but death and taxes and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Smokey the Bear says, \"Only you can prevent _\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The military is stepping up its efforts on operation _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The next summer Olympics will feature the new event: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The shame that only comes from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The United Nation's new humanitarian mission will deploy _ to third world countries.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's nothing more mysterious than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This season's hottest collectible is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To get into an Ivy League School, you need a high GPA and a whole lot of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today, more and more relationships end because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Two's company, three's a crowd, four is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What keeps me warm during the cold, cold winter?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "With friends like these, who needs _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You can't live a truly fulfilling life without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You have to experience _ before you can really appreciate _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ _ go away. Come back another day.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ gives Dad bad gas.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ invented time travel.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the secrt ingredient in Grandma's famous pies.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "#1 topic discussed in your teacher's lounge _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A _ in the hand is worth two in the bush.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After being crowned homecoming king or queen, your first dance is interrupted by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "All day I dream about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "All we are saying is give _a chance.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At a parent teacher conference, your teacher confessed you have a serious problem focusing on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At the end of the day, my underwear is so _ in the front and _ in the back.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Beauty and the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Brussel sprouts taste like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Cat in the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Charlie and the chocolate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Cloudy with a chance of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Diary of a wimpy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do not _ on my parade.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Does a bear _ in the woods?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dude, where's my _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During the family vacation I found a _ washed up on the beach.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Eenie, meenie, miney, _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "EEWWWW! There is _ in my shoes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fast food restaurants have decided to add _ to make kids meals healthier for kids.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Find a _ and pick it up, and all the day you'll have good luck.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For Halloween I dressed as _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For my birthday _ jumped out of my cake.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Grandma got run over by a _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Grandpa says \"When I was your age we would _ for fun\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Green eggs and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Happy Birthday to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Harry Potter™ and the Goblet of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Help! My dog just _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Here is the church, here is the steeple. Flip it over and here are the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey diddle diddle the _ and the fiddle, the _ jumped over the moon.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey everybody! I just won the _ eating contest.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hobbit's feet smell like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How much _ can a woodchuck chuck?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How much is that _ in the window?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How the _ stole Christmas.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Humpty Dumpty sat on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I asked for _ for Christmas.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I bumped my head so hard I woke up and thought I was _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I flushed my dead _ down the toilet.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I found _ in my cupcake.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I found _ in Papa Smurf's beard.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I found a _ in my bellybutton, and named it _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got catfished by a _ again!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got stuck in time out for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I just built a rocket ship out of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like to brush my teeth with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I love you to the _ and back.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I pledge allegiance to the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I posted a picture of _ and crashed the internet.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I sneezed so hard _ came out my nose.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I spy with my little eye something _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I went to my parent's closet to look for Christmas presents only to find _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I will huff and puff and blow your _ down.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I will huff and puff, and blow your _ down!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you rub a unicorn horn you will receive _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Just a spoon full of _ helps the medicine go down.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kill two birds with one _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Knock, knock.\\nWhos there?\\n_.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Lady and the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last night I found _ in my bed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let all play Paper, Scissors, _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let's go to the movies and see _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Liar liar pants on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Little Boy Blue go blow your _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Luke, I am your _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mary had a little _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "May I have your attention please! _. That is all.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "May the _ be with you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Milk milk lemonade, around the corner _ is made.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mom says I'mnot allowed to play with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My brother his my markers in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My Dad walks in my bedroom and says \"It's time we talk about _\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite after school snack is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite after school subject is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite cartoon is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite drink is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite Pokemon™character is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite thing to read about is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My Grandpa always says \"You can't have _ if you do not eat your _\".",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My imaginary friend's name is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My Mom ran over _ with the mini van.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My Mom sent me to the grocery store to pick up _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My mom's cooking tastes like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My Mom's farts smell like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My parents always make me _ before school.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My parents order chinese food for dinner, and I open the box only to find _ in my food.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My teacher pulls me aside to propose that I switch to a school specifically for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Never eat soggy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Never take candy from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No more _ jumping on the bed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On my summer vacation I went to _ and I saw _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One _, two _, red _, blue _.",
|
|
"pick": 4
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Peace, Love, _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Peter piper picked a peck of pickled _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sally sold sea shells down by the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Say hello to my little _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "School was canceled because of _ again.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Silly rabbit _ are for kids.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Snap crackle and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Stop drop and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sugar and spice and everything _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Teenage Mutant Ninja _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The amazing adventures of Captain Toad and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The batmobile lost a _ and the Joker got away!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The emperor's new _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The little _ that could.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The moon is made of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The President just declared _ as a national treasure.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The toilet is clogged with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The tooth fairy left a _ under my pillow.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There is a place in France where the naked ladies dance. There is a hole in the wall where the men can see _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This is my favorite thing to bring to a party.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This looks like a job for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This one time... at band camp... I saw my best friend _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To infinity and _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Trick or treat smell my _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Up your nose with a rubber _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wait 30 minutes to swim after _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Watch me whip. Watch me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We all live in a yellow _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We learned about _ in school today.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What does the fox say? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is in Polly's pockets?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the new unofficial mascot of the Coast Guard?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's in Puss's boots?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wheels on the bus go _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I eat asparagus, my pee smells like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I grow up, I want to be a _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Where in the world is _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Which came first, the chicken or the _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who you gonna call?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Whos afraid of the big bad _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why do I feel so dizzy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is the sky blue?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "www._.com",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a _ stuck a feather in his _ and called it macaroni.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You ain't never had a _ like me!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ + _ = Hot new knitting trend.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ got kicked out of the local Stitch and Bitch group for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_, I can yarn bomb that.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_, it's what Elizabeth Zimmerman would do.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I skipped the guage swatch and now my _ looks more like _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I started knitting so I would stop _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Indie-dyed yarns can have some crazy color names. Last week I bought a colorway called _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why don't you just buy socks?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ and _ inevitably lead to the phrase \"Happiness is secured.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is by far the most important item in the \"Fresh Out of Boot Camp\" starter pack.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the only thing more patriotic than Master Chief Carl Brashear's prosthetic leg.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will attempt to destroy the Navy. _ will ensure that threat is defeated.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: it's what Academy grads do best!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "*Read this in your best tranny voice*\\n\\nHey, Sailor! Come over here and let me show you _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "According to the international best seller Breaking Up With Your Boat Boo, _ is the #1 way to cope with your loss.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Admit it, Seaman! You've always suspected your LPO of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After drifting off in your rack, a gooey wet nightmare about _ ruins a good night's sleep.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After learning about the rampant use of _ within the Navy, you quickly decide against re-enlisting.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "All hands, brace for _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "America's Navy: A Global Force for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "An ensign tries to one-up you with a sea story about _. You win by telling him the one about _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Before mustering for cleaning stations, you check the POD. To your surprise, you see _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Breastfeeding in uniform is risky because _ can sheak into the blouse and bite a titty.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Captain's Cup trophies are about as useful as _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Chief said if you finish _ you can go home early.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Colluding in secrecy, America's most brilliant minds developed the ultimate weapon against ISIS, which is constructed from _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Congratulations! You've joined the Navy and now you're a hero! What do you plan to fuck up first?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do you want liberty secured?!? Because _ is how you get liberty secured!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ewwwww the chow tastes funny again! I bet a CS slipped _ into it!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gee whiz, I can't wait to get my Surface Warfare qual so I can finally be ready for _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Good morning, shipmate! Grab a quick breakfast and meet me in the berthing for a hardcore session of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gundecking checklists ALWAYS leads to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Haze yourself! is an appropriate response to the question \"Hey Petty Officer, wanna see _?\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hazing is illegal, but it's still acceptable to give your new check-ins _ and tell them to have fun.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe it! I got written up for _ during my last barracks inspection.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I pooped off the side of the ship and _ squirted out!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If Admiral Zumwalt was resurrected from the dead using gnarly pirate sorcery, he would cringe at the sight of _ in today's Navy.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If chiefs are the backbone, what is the rectum of the Navy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If he was alive today, Fleet Admiral Chester W. Nimitz would be most proud of _, but also disappointed in _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I could travel back in time to RTC Great Lakes, I would surely warn my past self about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If it wasn't for _, deployment wouldn't be so bad!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If Snipes really ran the Navy, every ship would be a nonstop cluster fuck of _, _, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If the Arabian Gulf had a mascot, it would be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you hold a Corfam shoe to your ear, you can hear the sound of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If your LCPO was captured by ISIS, they would torture him until he divulged info about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In addition to ladyboys, it's best to watch out for _ while in Thailand.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of \"Hooyah!\" the new Navy catch phrase should be \"_!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "ISIS is now demanding _ in exchange for hostages.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's the Navy's birthday! What are you doing to celebrate?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "IYAOYAS.\\nTranslation: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Locking your coffin rack prevents berthing rats from pilfering your secret stash of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Loose lips sink ships. Don't ever discuss _ or _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Need to get revenge on a jacket-wearing OS? Try cramming their freshly polished boots inside of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Not again! You just caught your rackmate jerkin' it to _ for the third time this week!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Note to self: _ = immediate DRB!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing is better than ragging on the Coast Guard, but _ come pretty damn close!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing says \"I'm a dumb shit Navy tool\" quite like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Recruiters will lie about anything, but they REALLY love spreading bullshit about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Rip Its® and _ destroyed this Sailor's life!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Some chuckle fuck got busted for _ and now we have to stay late for ORM training.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Step 1: Liberty in Thailand.\\n\\nStep 2: Captain's Mast for _.\\n\\nStep 3: Die of antibiotic-resistant dick rot.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Chinese were surprised to learn that the three major components of the Aegis Ballistic Missile Defense System are _, _, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Cunt for Red Cock-tober, a submarine-themed porn parody, features a disturbing scene where _ is thrust into _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The fan room is frequently used for committing unspeakeable acts involving _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The ideal way to punish those assholes who throw chemlights off the ship is to force-feed them _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only reason I would ever re-enlist is if the SECNAV granted me unlimited access to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing dumber than removing \"man\" from all Navy job titles is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing sadder than having BAH taken away is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing that can match the intensity of a submarine race is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The overturning of UCMJ Article 125, Forcible Sodomy and Bestiality, means I'm now free to fuck _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The phrase \"Balls Deep in Freedom!\" should be hollered whenever _ is combined with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The phrase \"Unfuck Yourself!\" reminds me of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The SECNAV's plan to ban _ aboard ships should further accelerate the pussification of the Navy.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The U.S. Navy's new custom fragrance, Eau de Farragut, smells like a mixture of _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The USS Hillary Clinton, a Zumwalt-class guided-missile destroyer, is the only ship powered solely by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There are only two things better than running a train on Chief's daughter: _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To keep its ties to Mexican drug cartels secret, the VA routinely bribes government officials with _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To show his gratitude to the SEALs who saved his life, Captain Phillips gave each of them gifts of _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tower, this is Ghost Rider requesting _. \"That's a negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Two ensigns are beating the fuck out of each other because someone said _ was better than _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Using the Wii Fit® for training at RTC is about as laughable as _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do Purple Shirts think about when they're standing around refueling birds?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What gives Chief his awe-inspiring power?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the MCPON's most coveted pastime?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the SECNAV fantasizing about right now?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What never fails to make you laugh on deployment?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What powers the CNO's unstoppable freedom boner?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's currently burning on the flight deck?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When Nukes go postal, _ becomes the target of their radiation fueled rage.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you smash a terrorist's head, what oozes out?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When your Corpsman is feeling down, cheer him up with a healthy dose of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is the chief always grumpy? Well, it's because he's responsible for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're about a cunt hair away from _, shipmate!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're staggering back to the last liberty bus of the night when, all of a sudden, _ appears!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your chief expected _ in return for your EP Eval this cycle.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your Corpsman buddy once told you that he pulled _ out of a Marine's ass.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your LPO demands you bring him reactor air samples and 50 feet of gig line. Instead, you cunningly \"acquire\" _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ don't want none unless you got buns, hon.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "1998: that was the summer I learned the true meaning of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A donation has been made in your name to the Society for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A wildly inappropriate gift that I received from my boss:",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After a long day, nothing feels as good as _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As everyone knows, after shooting Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth jumped onto the stage and yelled \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At first I was afraid, I was petrified /\\n\\nkept thinking I could never live without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Back in college, my nickname was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Business idea: like Uber, but for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "By the third date, most people expect _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ca-li-for-nia girls, we're unforgettable /\\n\\n_, bikinis on top.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Classic summer camp prank: while someone is asleep, put his hand in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Crikey! I've never seen _ like this before! Let's get a bit closer.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dearly beloved friends, we are gathered here to join together these two persons in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Despite overwhelmning scientific evidence to the contrary, some people still believe that vaccines cause _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "DOCTOR:\\nWhat seems to be the problem?\\n\\nYOU: \\n_.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Due to heightened security, please have _ out and ready for inspection.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Duh, of course I know what the spleen does. It's for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every woman knows what it's like to be called _ while walking down the street.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fourscore and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Global warming could lead to _ across much of North America.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Got me lookin' so crazy right now, _'s got me lookin' crazy right now.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Have yourself a merry little Christmas /\\n\\nlet your heart be light / \\n\\nfrom now on _ will be out of sight.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How did I get my job?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can hardly recognize my country anymore; everywhere you look, _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I had the weirdest dream last night about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hate to be one of those parents, but I just really don't want my child exposed to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I support the Constitutional right to bear _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I tend to be an anxious person, but the one thing that always puts me at ease is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd like to ask for a moment of silence in honor of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm just gonna stay in tonight. You know, Netflix and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm making a viral video to raise awareness of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm starting a club for people who believe in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If public speaking makes you nervous, try imagining that the audience is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you liked it you should have put _ on it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ill-advised Halloween costume concept:",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Key to healthy marriage: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Knock, knock.\\n\\n(Who's there?)\\n\\n_.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let me give you a word of advice: your sex life will be a lot better if you avoid _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Many woman feel that they have to choose between having a career and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Melville contemplated a sequel called \"Moby Dick II: _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My dissertation considers the relationship between _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My heart skipped a beat when he took my hand, leaned in close, and whispered \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My most embarrassing teenage memory? Let's just say it involved _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My name is DJ _, and I'm about to bring the sick beats!!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My senior colleagues treat me the way I treat _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No, Alanis, \"_\" is not \"ironic.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh crap, now I have _ on my face.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh my god, you're covered in blood! What the hell happened??",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh yeah? Well I graduated from the Univeristy of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh--My--God, Becky. Look at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "POLICE OFFICER:\\nStep out of the car.\\n\\nYOU:\\nWhy?\\nIs it because I'm _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Recurring nightmare: I'm in high school and I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Republicans are hoping to redefine themselves as the party of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Scholars have discovered a previously unknown Sherlock Holmes story called \"The Adventure of _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Shall I compare thee to _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Shit, I was texting my mom and my phone autocorrected \"I love you\" to I love _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sure, I know plenty of people who enjoy masturbating to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ted Cruz caused a stir today when he called a press conference to denounce _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Army's new marketing campaign: \"Go Army. And be _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The branding consultant has recommended this as the new university slogan: The Future of _, Today.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The congressman accidentally tweeted a shirtless picture of himself with what appears to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The latest fraternity scandal: a party where the theme was \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The low point of the wedding was when the bride's uncle gave a long, incoherent toast about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The meek shall inherit the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There are many porn versions of Moby-Dick, but the latest one is called \"Moby-Dick: _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "These days you can just throw together a banjo and some lyrics about _ and you've got a perfectly good country song.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This Friday night I've got a date with me, myself, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This is a little embarrassing but I was wondering if you could recommend a doctor who specializes in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Title of a film that's trying to win an Oscar:",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To avoid getting cornholed in prison, I had to shit myself and act like I was _ every single day.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Uh-oh, Boats broke the boat again! What did he do this time?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We'll be loading you in an isolation chamber until we can rule out _ Syndrome.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Well, shit. My spouse looked at my browser history and saw how much time I'd been spenidng on www._.com",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do we want?\\n\\n_!\\n\\nWhen do we want it?\\n\\nNow!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What inspired my mother to choose my first name?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is an absolute dealbreaker for me on a first date?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What topic you always cover in your initial counseling sessions?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What would pair well with this Chianti?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When told that the people had no bread to eat, Marie Antoinette is said to have suggested: Let them eat _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is it so hard to find _ these days? #firstworldproblems",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "With the 3D printer, I can make _ in a matter of minutes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yeah, can I get a Corona, a vodka tonic, and _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yes, it is I, the world's most dangerous supervillain: Baron Von _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You scared the crap out of me! For a second I thought you were _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You Wil Cry When You See This Kid Tell His Parents That He Is _. #ItGetsBetter",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "YOU:\\nPlay Miles Davis\\n\\nSIRI:\\nSorry. I don't know what \"_\" means.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're seeing a therapist for the first time.\\n\\nThe therapist asks you why you've come. \\n\\nYour answer:",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ gave me a really bad reputation in middle school.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ gave me my very first orgasm.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ had me bedridden for months.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is what is ruining this country.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ now comes free with a Happy Meal.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will get you a one-way ticket to Poundtown.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: fun for the whole family!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? Oh yeah. There's porn about that.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "1 out of 5 marriages end in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After a long day, _ relaxes me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And the Lord said, \"Let there be _\". And it was GOOD.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At the Texas State Fair, you can buy deep-fried _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Before going to sleep I always check under the bed for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Da Vinci's \"The Last Supper\" contains a hidden image of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During the full moon, I get the instiable urge for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ever heard of the secret menu? Try going to McDonald's and ordering \"_\". It works, I swear!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every so often I get to spend a night in, complete with a hot bath, a glass of wine, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every young boy dreams about _, but only a few will get to experience the glory.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Folks over at Build-A-Bear are rolling out a new kind of bear that will be stuffed with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For her birthday, I surprised my girlfriend with _. We haven't spoken since.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For me, _ is a dealbreaker.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Grandmother's house always smells like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Grandpa's secret to maintaining an erection was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I blacked out and woke up covered in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I could have sworn I was _ last night, but it might've just been all the weed I smoked.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I know you're still mad but is _ out of the question?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like sex like I like _: hot and out of control.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I regret losing my virginity to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I took the day off so I could concentrate on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I woke up in a cold sweat after an eerily realistic nightmare about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm going to bed now, so if you need _, you'll have to ask your father.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm pretty open-minded when it comes to sex, but I draw the line at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If animals could talk, they'd tell you how they REALLY feel about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If counting sheep doesn't work, sometimes I'll try _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I'm not _ by the time I'm 45, shoot me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you don't try _, how do we know you're not a cop?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the year 2069, you can get _ any time, any where.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Is that _ in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's my birthday, so my wife said we could try _ tonight.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's not a real bachelor party without _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Marriage is like _: it's alawys over sooner than you think.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Most of my favorite bedroom activities involve _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My boss caught me daydreaming about _ at work.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My boss heard me talking about _ and now I have to have a meeting with HR.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My doctor says _ will kill me, but he went to public school, so whatever.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My greatest fear is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My high school diary has a BUNCH of entries about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My love for you is like _: peaceful and deep.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My Strange Addiction: _. Thursdays at 8pm on TLC.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My wife and I both love _. That's why our marriage is so strong.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My worst enemy once tried to defeat me with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Naturally, _ came up in the divorce hearing.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one listened to the scientist who warned us about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing excites a group of Catholic Priests more than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing is hotter to me than when a woman isn't afraid of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing says \"America\" like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing scares the 1% more than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh no! Little Timmy died from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On a first date, I usually say I like _ and long walks on the beach.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Only YOU can prevent _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Pixar animators didn't think we'd pick up on the sexual undertones of _, but HELLO!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Pope Francis just changed the rules again - now _ is totally cool with God.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Scientists predict that within the next 50 years there will be _ in every home.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sir, might I suggest pairing red wine with _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Slaying the dragon was actually pretty easy. The hardest part of the quest turned out to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Superman's only weakness turned out to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Teenagers are calling it \"_\" and it's NOT what you think!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tell your doctor that you suffer from _ if you want the REALLY good drugs.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best first dates usually end with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The first message we received from another planet was just a request for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The first porno I watched prominently featured _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's been a murder and _ is the only suspect.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's just nothing like _ first thing in the morning.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's just something about _ that always puts a smile on my face.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They say _ brings you closer to God.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Urban Dictionary defines _ as \"the darkest place you can imagine\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "USA: Number 1 in obesity and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We didn't learn about _ in Sex Ed so I had to find out the hard way!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Welcome to _ World. Wear a fucking poncho.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What describes my \"type\"?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do I dream about at night?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do you see yourself doing 5 years from now?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What have I lied to each of you about?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is my obsession?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What made my butt feel so weird?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I go to church, I think about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was 5, daddy took me out into the woods and taught me about _. That day, I became a man.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When the aliens landed, all they wanted was to see _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you visit Japan, make sure that you try _. Everyone says it's the best there.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "White male. Aged 42. Cause of death: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why are my parents disappointed in me?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "With a madman taking over the city, only _-Man can save us now.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "World War III was caused by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You call it _. I call it making love.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You know me. I'm the _ one in the group.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your mom never told you, but when she was younger, she was into _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ gave me AIDS.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ has taken more lives than Hitler and smoking combined.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is considered a compliment in most of Europe.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ made my moneyshot twice as powerful.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_, or as I like to call it, _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Not just for kids anymore!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: the national sport of Africa.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Before attempting anal for the first time, I've been told it's best to start with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dan Brown's latest novel explores the hidden symbolic meaning behind _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hitler did nothing wrong; abortions should be legal for gay babies; Bush wasn't a bad president; and now I'll read the card: what did I masturbate to before I got here?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm a dirty, dirty girl. Nothing gets me going like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm not a racist, but I love _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm not usually one for eating contests, but when I found out it was for _, I just couldn't help myself.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It may be totally unconventional and shunned by society in general, but when you come right down to it, _ is the best purchase I've ever made.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Loosely translated, my name means _ in Japanese.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My proctologist was quite impressed when he saw _ on my x-rays.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing says, \"I trust you,\" like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thanksgiving dinner was forever changed when my dad brought up _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The _ Spangled Banner.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Uber's latest service combines the convenience of _ with the luxury of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the short version of why I'm not allowed to go back to Australia?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "While writing my wedding vows, I often looked to _ for inspiration.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You had me at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You say potato, I say _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ has lasted longer than a Married at First Sight Relationship",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_, yeah right.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After graduating from Massey University with _, I'm now qualiifed to inseminate _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Always blow on _. Safer communities together!!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "An nonconsensual _ during a game of league.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Being unable to look your Dad in the eye once he's seen you _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bringing up _ on a first date is a terrible idea. I know from experience.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Briscoe sale! 50% off of _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Buying excessive amounts of _ on $5 week.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Can't you see? The Jews are behind everything-the banks, the media, even _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Chris Warner saying: \"Please tell me that is not _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Cook _ some fucking _, BITCH!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "David Farrier uncovering a secret _ ring.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do what?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Domestic violence is not ok! But it is okay to ask for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ernest Rutherford is famous for splitting open _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every Kiwi knows what comes next: Tutira mai nga iwi _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fair Go is finally investigating _'s relationship with _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Finally opening Stan Walkers 'little black box' just to find _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Finding _ in your butt crack after a day at the beach.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gapping it faster than Mark Lundy driving away from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gerry Brownlee was caught snacking on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "God defend _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hopeful Christian's successor and the new head of Gloriavale. Please welcome _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Huntly is the _ capital of New Zealand",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hate being knocked off of my surfboard by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have offered _ as koha at this powhiri",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I left the waitress a bigger tip when she scribbled on my receipt _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I live with crippling trust issues, due to the time my Mum put _ in the Wattie's tomato sauce bottle.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would suck off _ to pay off my student loan.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd make a card with Star Trek references, but the _ at Paramount are lawsuit-happy.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm only in these Buy and Sell pages for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I played in the NRL, I'd have a sex video with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If it weren't for your gumboots, where would you be? You'd be in _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you can't see the water, you're not in togs, you're deep in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you drink then hook up with _, you're a bloody legend",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Breaking News: they've finaly entered Pike River Mine, just to find _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Footrot Flats, if you look inside the bitch's box, you'll find _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the follow up to his #1 Best Seller \"Own Your Future,\" David Seymour has teased _, a documentary series focused on _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the news story of the year, Whittaker's have announced their latest collaboration with _, a new _ flavoured chocolate.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In this week's My Food Bag I found _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's about time we deported _ to Australia.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Jacinda Arden moonlighted as _ before becoming prime minister.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "John Key was caught tugging _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Karen still wants her 20 dollars back, or else you'll get _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kiwis love _. That's our tucker!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Legend has it Prince wouldn't perform without _ in his dressing room.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Lynley Dodd's new book \"Hairy Maclary from _\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Maori wouldn't have mind if Pakeha had traded blankets and muskets and _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Meet Kieran Reid's successor to the captaincy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Never shake _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next up on Dancing with the Stars? _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "NZ wants to be _ free, by 2020.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "PornHub.com's single most popular video features _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Rotorua smells worse than _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Setting up a new local _ club to meet new people.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Simon Bridges _ of National Significance.New Zealand, 100% _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Smashing _ right between the goalpost.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "So the answer is \"Sunday\", the question is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Taylor Swift's most recent boyfriend: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Te Papa's latest exhibit is the rare _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Aussies have stolen Pavlova, Phar Lap and Crowded House but they can have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Blues have as much chance of winning as _ has at getting laid.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing I can do in the bedroom is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing John Campbell truly finds MARVELLOUS is in fact _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Warehouse, where everyone gets _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The worlwide conspiracy to leave NZ off of maps is a direct result of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The worst tihing about growing up in Aotearoa is definitely _'s _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They've announced they'll finally be arming New Zealand police with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This summer has been hotter than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This week on \"Good Sorts\" we celebrate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today on The Jeremy Kyle Show: \"Help! My son is _!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tonight on Police Ten 7, we're chasing _, rumoured to be responsible for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tossing _ into the hangi pit.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Two fish, four potato fritters, one scoop of chips and _, crumbed if possible.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Waitangi Day is about broadcasting _, throwing obscenities at, _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What actually sunk the Rainbow Warrior was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is keeping Winston Petes alive?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When Aunty goes in for a Hongi, but you surprise her with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When Jim the Weatherman sticks _ in front of the camera.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you get in a cab and it smells like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wouldn't it be nice if the world was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yeah, nah, yeah I'm keen as to smash _ if you are bro.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yo yo here we go on the _ show.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You can't beat _ on a Good Day!!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You just need more _ to finish this goddamn 1206!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're not in _ anymore, Dr. Ropata.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is my motivation.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the active ingredient in cigarettes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ was the cause of the Holocaust.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A McDonald's employee was recently fired for placing _ in children's Happy Meals.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Daddy, what made you divorce Mommy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I use drugs to escape _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My anaconda don't want none unless you got _ Hun.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite hobby is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My parents found _ when browsing my web history.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Pulitzer prize for _ goes to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The reason the ozone layer is decaying is because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They say _ is the best medicine.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "War World II was the result of what?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We should stop war on _, it has ruined more lives than saved.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did I bring back from Cancun?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do they call American Cheese in Canada?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What gave me unforgiving, ever lasting, flaming diarrhea?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is George W. Bush's favorite past time?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is Serena Williams's guilty pleasure?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is that noise from?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the perfect aphrodisiac for triggering a threesome?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What lead to me getting fired form my last job?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What left this mark on my carpet?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What was Paul Walker's last meal?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When committing a deadly sin I always think about?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am a newly appointed dictator of a war torn nation, I will legalize _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When listening to a Creed album, I feel like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When masturbating, I dream about?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is my way of giving back to the community.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Is my way of giving back to the community.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A Hollywood remake of 2 girls 1 cup should star _ as the cup.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A Hollywood remake of 2 Girls 1 Cup should star _ as the cup.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And for my final wish Genie, I want you to make me the master of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And for my final wish, Genie, I want you to make me the master of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As a huge fan of 50 Shades of Gray I'm a bit disappointed with the film's casting, I've always pictured _ as Gray.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As a huge fan of 50 Shades of Grey, I'm a bit disappointed with the film's casting. I've always pictured _ as Grey.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Baby got _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Colleges should really start offering classes in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Allah, if I promise to stop _ will you let me into heaven and give me 72 virgins?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Allah, if I promise to stop _, will you let me into Heaven and give me 72 virgins?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't get me wrong I think what Hitler did and stood for is horrible but you have to admit he was was spot on about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't get me wrong. I think what Hitler did and stood for is horrible, but you have to admit he was was spot on about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Girls just want to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Google recently changed its corporate slogan from \"Don't be Evil\" to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Google recently changed its corporate slogan from \"Don't Be Evil\" to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Growing up I didn't have many friends. Kids always teased me about my fascination with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Growing up I didn't have many friends. Kids always teased me for my fascination with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hallelujah it's raining _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hallelujah, it's raining _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I didn't want to tell it to her face, but her baby reminds me of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I didn't want to tell it to their faces but their baby reminds me of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I expected it would suck but the opposite happened. \"_: The Movie\" is now officially my favorite movie ever.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I expected it would suck, but the opposite happened. \"_: The Movie\" is now officially my favorite movie ever.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I gave my girlfriend _ last Valentine's Day. Now I cry myself to sleep every night, all alone in my cold hard bed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hate it when I take a girl home and find out she has _ where a vagina should be.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hate it when I take a girl home and find out she has _ where should be a vagina.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I knew it meant trouble when I heard a voice scream \"_!\" mid flight. And unfortunately I was right.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I knew it meant trouble when I heard a voice scream \"_!\" mid-flight. And unfortunately I was right.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I really miss the good old days when men were men and _ could not vote.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would move heaven and earth, I would split the ocean, even _ would not be able to stop me from being with you my love.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would move heaven and earth, I would split the ocean, even _ would not be able to stop me from being with you, my love.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd rather stick my dick in _ than _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd rather stick my dick in _ then _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm afraid the only way to exorcise this demon is by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In a riveting speech Ghandi convinced his followers of the virtues of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In a riveting speech, Gandhi convinced his followers of the virtues of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the next Marvel movie we will witness _ take on _ for world domination.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of waterboarding Guantanamo Bay prisoners now have to endure _, sometimes for hours on end.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of waterboarding, Guantanamo Bay prisoners now have to endure _, sometimes for hours on end.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last night my husband and I invited _ over for a threesome. How YOLO of us, right?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Remember every time you think of _, The Lord kills _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Remember, every time you think of _, The Lord kills _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sir, for the last time. We simply do not allow _ in here. You will have to find another establishment.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Siri, what is the meaning of life?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "So happy the doctor was able to get _ out. Next time I'll be more careful with what I put up my butt, lol! #neveragain.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "So happy the doctor was able to get _ out. Next time I'll definitely be more careful with what I put up my butt, lol! #neveragain.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "So you're telling me we can land a man on the moon but _ is out of the question?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "So you're telling me we can land a man on the moon, but _ is out of the question?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Suzy if you don't eat your food and keep misbehaving _ will come and get you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Suzy, if you don't eat your food and keep misbehaving, _ will come and get you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing worse than _ at a wedding is _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing worse then _ is _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There is abundant scientific evidence that for some people vaccination might lead to _ later in life.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tonight on the \"No Spin Zone!\" Bill O'Riley will be debating _ on the topic of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tonight on the No Spin Zone! Bill O'Reilly will be debating _ on the topic of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What caused those smelly stains in my underwear?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's holding you back from achieving your dreams?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the absolute last thing you want to catch your Dad doing?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When she was little my sister could not pronounce my name correctly so she called me _ instead. It has stuck ever since.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When she was little, my sister could not pronounce my name correctly, so she called me _ instead. It has stuck ever since.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! Everybody gets _!",
|
|
"pick": 10
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! You get _! Everybody gets _!!!",
|
|
"pick": 10
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the moment my kid lost their innocence.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is why I have gray hair now.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is why I'm not a chaperon.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Before they were teenagers, my biggest worry was _, but now I fear _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For such a \"know-it-all\" tween, they were not ready for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Graduation should put an end to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How you found out you're no longer the cool parent.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't wait for my kids to outgrow _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I told myself I'd be the cool parent and accept _, but I was wrong.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm afraid to talk to my kids about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one warned me about tweens and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Other parents worry about _ but I stress over _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Parenting is all fun and games until _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best part of having a teenager is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The fastest route to parental PTSD.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The fastest way to embarrass your kids is to tell their friends about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The real reason they don't want to go to school today.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The school counselor wants to talk to us about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today's annoying attitude is brought to you by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why I don't snoop in their room anymore.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why our kid is slamming doors today.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why our kids cannot have co-ed sleepovers.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why we are the meanest parents on earth.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the new _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ guaranteed, or your money back!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "[POINT TO ANY PLAYER.]\\n\\nMy friendship with this person is based entirely on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "[POINT TO THE PERSON TO YOUR LEFT.]\\n\\nI have this person to thank for introducing me to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "[POINT TO THE PERSON TO YOUR LEFT.]\\n\\nWhat is this person's guilty pleasure?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "[POINT TO THE PERSON TO YOUR RIGHT.]\\n\\nWhat does this person prefer in the bedroom?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A bird in the hand is worth _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A euphemism for the sex act that you would least like to discuss with your parents:",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A horse!\\na horse!\\n_ for a horse!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A million dollars isn't cool.\\nYou know what's cool? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A rabbi, _, and _ walk into a bar.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A vote for Donald Trump is a vote to Make America _ Again.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Absence makes the heart grow _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Actions speak louder than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After the final book was published, J.K. Rowling confirmed that Dumbledore was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After the show it's the afterparty, and after the party it's _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As everyone knows, after shooting Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth jumped onto the stage and yelled \"_,\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "By the age of four, male children already display a preference for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Creepiest ride ever: my Uber driver was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "DRILL SERGEANT:\\nWhat the hell are you doing, private?\\n\\nPRIVATE:\\nSir, _, sir!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For every $1 that men receive, women receive _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Give me liberty, or give me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "God helps those who help _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Good night, good night! _ is such sweet sorrow.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "History is written by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How will I keep myself busy after I retire?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I believe it was Winston Churchill who said: \"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I could never marry someone who supports banning _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't consider myself religious, but I do believe in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got my dog from a shelter.\\nShe was rescued from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have a dream that one day this nation wil rise up and live out the true meaning of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I majored in business, but I minored in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I think, therefore I am _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'll get you, my pretty, and _ too!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm getting a degree in English. It's basically four years of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm sorry, this table is reserved for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm thinking about getting a lower-back tattoo of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I've got _ in low places.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If a creepy guy won't leave me alone at a bar, I just start talking about _ until he leaves. Works every time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If music be the food of _, play on.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's always darkest before _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "KEEP CALM AND CARRY _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Key to a healthy marriage: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My road rage really gets out of control when the other driver is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "O say, does _ yet wave\\n\\no'er the land of the fre and the home of the brave?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh yeah? Well I graduated from the University of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One weird trick for beautiful, clear skin:",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our next speaker is a distinguished professor of _ at the University of Chicago.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Pediatricians now recommend that all children receive each morning.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Plot twist: they were _ the whole time!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "PRINCE HARRY CAUGHT IN _ SCANDAL",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "SCARLETT:\\nWhere shall I go? What shall I do?\\n\\nRHETT:\\nFrankly, my dear, I don't give _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Some conspiracists belive that Shakespeare's plays were actually written by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thanks, everyone, for coming out tonight.\\nThis next song is called \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The course of _ never did run smooth.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The eyes are windows to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The latest Westboro Baptist Church sign:\\n\\nGOD HATES _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The pen is mightier than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The sign of true adult maturity:",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's a theory that Shakespeare was actually _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "These days the kids are calling it \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This year's trendiest card game:\\n\\n\"_ Against _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Throw _ in the air like you just don't care!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Title of a bestselling memoir later revealed to be fabricated:",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To be, or not to be: that is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,\\n\\nnot a creature was stirring, not even _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ugh, I just sat through this dude mansplaining _ to me for a half hour.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We'll be holding you in an isolation chamber until we can rule out _ Syndrome.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Well, you know what they say: big hands, _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What defines my brand of feminism?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What if _ is just, like, in your mind, you know?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is this world coming to? I'll tell you what it's coming to:",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What new trend has parents of teenagers worried?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What topic is glaringly absent from the Sex Ed curriculum?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What will finally bring our civilization to an end?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's in a name? _ by any other name would smell as sweet.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's my ideal first date?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the sexiest thing ever?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When life gives you lemons, make _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When told that the people had no bread to eat, Marie Antoinette is said to have suggested: \"Let them eat _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "With my skills in _, and your knowledge in _, we could rule the world!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yes, I have a question. Well, not so much a question as _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You:\\nPlay Rediohead.\\n\\nSiri:\\nSorry. I don't know what \"_\" means.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're seeing a therapist for the first time. The therapist asks why you've come.\\n\\nYour answer:",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line and we'll be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is way better in _ mode.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Achievement unlocked.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "(Heavy breathing) Luke, I am _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Press ↓ ↓ ← → B to unleash _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What made Spock cry?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is way too much responsibility for me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ should be a human right.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: it's more likely than you think.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "According to this personality quiz, you're the friend who's most likely to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Adulting is like _ mixed with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Adulting is stressful. At least as a child I was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "An upcoming social event just got canceled. How are you celebrating?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At a work meeting, I suggested shifting our core competencies away from web-based monetization and toward _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During my job interview, I was asked my strengths, so I told them about my talent for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Everything's a complete mess but I'm still _ so I guess it's okay.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Great. Millennials have now ruined the _ industry.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey! I know we haven't talked in years, but I was wondering if you'd like to make residual income by selling _ with me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "His Tinder profile seemed fine until he listed _ as an interest.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I adulted for six straight hours before _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I celebrated paying off my credit card by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I did my own laundry today! Tomorrow I plan to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I didn't want to deal with my family, so I sat in my car for two hours just _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't care if it's fun, _ is sexism.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't need to hold onto my youth, I just love _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I feel inadequate when I see others _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I had to call the health insurance company three times just to get coverage for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I know I'm good at adulting when I'm regularly _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I know I'm in touch with my true self when I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I literally have no hobbies other than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I may not argue with what you just said, but I respect your right to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I needed to buy a new mattress but my $50 was only good for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never understand why adults were always in such a bad mood until I started _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I should really go to sleep right now, but I can't stop _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I try to find a nice date, but I always end up falling for people who are _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I used to believe in fairytales. Now I believe in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I used to look forward to weekends, but now I just spend my time _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I want to be the first person take a selfie while _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I want to settle down and have kids but _ takes up all of my time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I watched the news for five minutes. Now I want to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wonder if my landlord will accept _ as payment.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd have more money if I didn't waste it on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd rather be _ than file my own taxes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm going to start listing _ as a skill on my resume.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm not a child anymore, Mom. I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm not irresponsible. Just today, I started _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm sick of being shamed for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm trying to reduce my appetite by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I've been keeping the rent price down in my neighbourhood by publicly _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I've been working three jobs, so the only thing I have energy for is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ideal first date: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I found a job that paid a living wage, I'd quit _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I spent less time _, I'd feel more like an adult.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If it weren't for Google, I wouldn't have a clue how to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If it weren't for my student loans, I could be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you think your life is hard, I was just _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In a shocking new report, 80% of people under 40 now believe in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In this essay, I will be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of trusting my inner voice, I think I'll just trust _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's not that I'm so dependent on my phone, it's just that it keeps me distracted from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Life is what happens while you're _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Maturity is a process that involves patience and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Money can't buy you happiness but it sure beats _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My belly button has probably collected 10 lbs of _ over the course of my life.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My biggest fear about adulting is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My constant _ just got me promoted.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My credit score is so bad, but at least I'll always be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My enjoyment of _ has turned into an addiction to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My fondest childhood memories are _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My fridge is starting to represent _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My friend claims to have lost 10 lbs. in two weeks by simply _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My idea of winning is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My mom is so happy when I visit, but I'm only there to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My new roommate was great until she started _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My old classmates have great careers. Meanwhile, I'm _ all day.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My online persona would be shattered if people knew that I'm actually _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My parents always told me I could be anything I wanted to be, but I just want to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My partner is so competitive, but the only thing they beat me at is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My social life has turned to shit so now I'm just _ for fun.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My way of dealing with conflist is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one retweets my stuff unless I post about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one should be allowed to be _ in this country. Share if you agree!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh, so just because I believe in _, that makes me a Nazi?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Payday isn't for 12 days and I already spent my whole paycheck on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sounds like _ but ok.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sure, I had no freedom as a child, but it was still better than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best part of my childhood was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The day I vote is the day I'll be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The idea of getting married is bearable if I'm allowed to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The main reason for my social anxiety is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing that gets me through my morning commute is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The road to adulting is paved with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They laughed at me for _. Well, now look at me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They should invent an emoji for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Three things in life are certain: death, taxes, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I finally washed my bedsheets, I discovered evidence of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was a child, $10 was huge. Now $1,000 won't even pay for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "While I might not function at most basic tasks, I'm an expert at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is it so hard to find a roommate who isn't always _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "With every year that passes, I find it harder and harder to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wow, you're still _? That's so retro!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You accidentally read the comments section. How do you maintain the will to live?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You try to go one hour without looking at your phone. How are you keeping yourself distracted?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your date keeps talking about his moon sign in the fourth house. How do you stay interested?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is why I need feminism.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A wise man once said, \"What doesn't kill you makes you _.\" I stand before you today as living proof that this is true.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After gay marriage, God has now ordered Kim Davis to stop _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Anyone else surprised the Nobel Prize for _ went to _ this year?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As always here at TED, we've saved the best for last. Please give a very warm welcome to _, here to give us an extra long, five-hour talk on how to deal with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Congratulations maggots, you're almost there. Now if you can survive _ for the next 24 hours, you can call yourself a Navy Seal.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do with me what you want, America does not negotiate with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every Sunday, a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses bang on my door to ask if I want to talk about _. I say yes every single time. Who wouldn't?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fans were shocked when it was announced that in the next movie, besides being Batman, Bruce Wayne is also _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "FBI just released a list of the biggest national security threats: 1. ISIS 2. Mexican drug cartels. 3. _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I didn't choose _, _ chose me.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hate all these silly conspiracy theories about JFK. Every sane person knows what really killed him was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I promise that if I'm elected president, I will build a giant wall to keep _ out of our great country.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I think I'll be treating kids to _ instead of candy this Halloween.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I went on a spiritual journey to India hoping to find _, but instead all I found was _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If we got rid of slavery, why can't we get rid of _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In this very special episode of Dora the Explorer, Dora and Boots discover first-hand what it is like to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last night, I had a horrible nightmare. I was on my knees, dressed in an orange jumpsuit and about to be beheaded by _ in the name of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last week on my nightly stroll, I was bitten by _. Now I have a unquenchable thirst for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Like Santa, _ is something only children and fools believe in.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Matt Damon and Ben Affleck became best friends right after discovering their mutual love for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mom grounded me for three weeks after she found out I had made out with _ behind the bleachers.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mom, stop treating me like _! All kids are into _ these days.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite MacGyver episode is where he escaped _ using only _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My teachers always used to tell me nothing good would come of me. Well, jokes on them, because today I can proudly say I am _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something. Look at me. I used to be _, but now I'm _. If I can do it, why can't you?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sorry, can't meet you for lunch tomorrow. Why? Oh, didn't I tell you? I'll be _ all day. It's my first time, so I'm a bit nervous.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The King is dead, long live _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Medal of Honor is normally given out for exceptional bravery. However, my great-grandfather Earl got it because he was _ in WWII.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing we have to fear is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To be _ or not to be _, that is the question.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today I renounce _ and accept Jesus as _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Viagara? No thank you. I simply staple a picture of _ to my wife's forehead. That's all I need to go all night.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Well hello, gorgeous, never seen you in here before. I'm _. And what's your name?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the world coming to when you can win an Oscar® just because you're _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What you call _, I call a fun Saturday afternoon.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I go out, I go out blazing. Suicide by _, baby, here I come.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When my husband asked me to dress up like _ on our wedding night, I though tit would be a one-time thing, but now he demands I do it every other Tuesday",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You better turn around now and head back to where you came from, city boy. We don't take kindly to _ around these parts, you hear?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your dad and I are so proud of you! You know you're the first one in the family to be _, right?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ reminds me of my ex.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Because prevention is better than cure.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Man's best friend.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Nature's birth control.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. What's not to like?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. It just tastes better.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After climate change, what is the worst ecological concern today?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Children should be seen and not _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Santa. All I want for Christmas this year is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hell hath no fury like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have decided to stick with _ as _ makes me horny.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One parenting tip I wish I'd learned sooner is to never _ without _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Stop saying that I'm faking my disability. I really do have _ Syndrome.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What am I attracted to?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did my boyfriend get me for my birthday?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What the hell Dad?! You've got _ all over my _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am I trembling?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You can't touch this.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ stole my bike!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And what do we say to the God of Death?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Daddy drinks because I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Eventually, every little boy suffers the torment of finding his mother's hidden stash of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the original Star Trek, Captain Kirk's chair was the perfect level so he could spin around and see Uhura's _,",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of rings, Sonic now collects _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It is not widely known that most microbreweries also make _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My pet name for my high school girlfriend was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our ancestors must have been really high when they made _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Penguin, Catwoman, and Joker are teaming up with a new supervillian who is unnamed but has the power of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is my dog really thinking about?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is actually pretty hot.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? What a wonderful idea!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. GODDAMN IT, JAPAN!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. I dare you...",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A picture is worth a thousand words, and so is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And on the 8th day, God created _, and it was good.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "He's absolutely magnificent! I bet his poop smells like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't help but to think about _ when I cum.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I did my holiday shopping too late, and ended up buying my daughter a pop-up book titled \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't actually like my boyfriend, but I stay in it for the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got a new tattoo, it looks a bit like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I once won a mechanical bull riding contest, the prize was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I struggled to get out of bed this morning, until I heard _ knocking at my door.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If _ isn't supposed to go in the microwave, why does it fit?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I was a ice cream flavor, I would be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It was Colonel Mustard, in the study, with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kim Kardashian's ass is actually filled with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My children are always so happy when they get to enjoy _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My new favorite sexual position is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sesame Street really went downhill after Big Bird and Elmo had to confront _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Bible is actually an extended allegory on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The President is currently under fire from the opposing party for his \"extremist stance\" on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This week, Teletubbies teach us about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today's soup is Cream of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Watching now as an adult, I realize all my favorite '80s cartoons have subtle references to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you're over new years resolutions and binge on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You kids have it easy today. Back in my day we had to deal with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You know things are bad when our Netflix recommendations are : _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ has become part of my daily routine.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Has science gone too far?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"_: The Movie!\" Coming to theaters soon.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ah, excuse me, waiter, I see that the restaurant offers _. Is that gluten-free?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Anonymous's next target? _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At my father's funeral, I put _ in the casket with him.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During his short-lived boxing career, the Messiah fought under the name Jesus \"_\" Christ.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Finding _ in your bed the next morning.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I asked my boyfriend to surprise me for my birthday, I never thought he'd give me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I couldn't find a condom, so I had to use _ instead.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I couldn't help but give a buck to the homeless guy with the sign: \"Will work for _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I discovered my son was gay when I found a magazine about _ in his bedroom.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I get off to _ everyday.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have one simple request: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would learn Japanese specifically for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm having difficulty finding a college that will allow me to pursue a degree in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Making love to the person reading this card is like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nothing says true love quite like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh no! _! My only weakness!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Six Flags' new thrill ride lets you experience _ at 120 miles per hour.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "That time you got drunk and accidentally told your boss about your _ fetish.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The latest 20/20 episode: The War on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We broke up after I found his stash of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What killed Mister Rogers?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you ask for a raise and get _ instead.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you have a great dream about _, but realize you can't tell anyone.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you're hammered AF and think _ is a good idea.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You can only save the world with _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is not reimbursable.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is our new performance indicator.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the next development panacea.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As of today, all local staff will be paid in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Buy one, give one should be reserved for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ebola was eradicated by injecting _ with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "GSMA is now promoting smartphones for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I spent all my hazard pay on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I took inspiration from _ where I started _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm pretty sure \"capacity building\" is just a euphemism for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My NGO name means _ in Kiswahili.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My only real Peace Corps accomplishment was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oh joy! Another workshop on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our proposal win themes are _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our theory of change: If _, then _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Save the Children will now be saving _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sustainability will be assured through a razor-sharp focus on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best in-kind donation ever received was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The data collected with SurveyCTO revealed that the project is getting the greatest results from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Gates Foundation is launching a small grants program to eradicate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The humanitarian situation in Syria reminds me of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The last mile is paved with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The most popular Google search in rural Zambia is \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This hashtag will save the world: #_.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To the surprise of funders, Joseph Mbuntu spent the $10000 USD he received from GiveDirectly on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "USAID brought _ to the people of Haiti when they really needed _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Vegemite: easier to spread than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We're not so much faith-based as _-based.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is DFID's secret weapon against USAID dominance?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the 18th Sustainable Development Goal?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is USAID's guilty pleasure?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the secret to peace in the Middle East?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When the US State Department was evacuated from Yemen, they left a warehouse full of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why was the low-level diplomat kicked out of the country?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ isn't illegal, right?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ was fun, but then she woke up.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't worry, officer, I'm just _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ew. Taste this. Doesn't it taste like _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hello, This is my first meeting and I'm addicted to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I fell asleep watching HBO and woke up to _ on my TV.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hope Rule 34 doesn't apply to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I snuck into the White House and I saw _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I thought my job sucked, then I found out about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm always mindfucked by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I were a stripper, my name would be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If it weren't for _, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It should be a goal of the human race to ensure that _ never happens.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "More restaurants need _ on the menu.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On the day set aside for the Lord, I like to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "PAGING DR. _!!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The children sprung from bed and ran down the stairs to find _ under the christmas tree.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The name of my sex tape is \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The secret 11th Commandment is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This isn't a hickey, it's just _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We need to prioritize scientific research on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What was the blind orphan boy's favorite Christmas present?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's in the briefcase?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "With great power comes _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yesterday I found _ for sale on eBay.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ fixed the Church after the mess that was the 1970's.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ gets me the most likes on Instagram.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bishop Robert Barron is lit because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I cannot support _ because of its support of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I want to travel the country to speak about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I will intercede for they who are _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My earlybird breakfast club discusses _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My kid, Zedediah, always cries at church because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Please, just stop _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The bake sale goes to support _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is no stranger to an AGE Ranger!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_! the SecAF exclaimed ass he shape-shifted into a lizard person and scurried through the Pentagon.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"I want you for _!\"\\n\\n-- Uncle Sam",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"What flight are you on?!?\"\\n\\n\"Flight _, Sir!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A commissary bagger gives you the death stare. Tip them with _ and get the hell out of there!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A dorm party isn't a dorm party without _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A superior officer approaches. You salute and say _, and they respond with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "AFPC has decreed _ is the new requirement for WAPS testing this year.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After a year in the Delayed Entry Program, it's finally time for _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Air Force fuckery is getting so bad that the brass are starting to blame _ on the lack of discipline.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Amazon just announced that it is partnering with the U.S. Air Force to deliver _ to your doorstep.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "An LOR was given to you for an embarrassing incident involving _, but mostly because you're really fucking dumb.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And here we see the dependa in her natural habitat, angrily commenting about _ on her husband's unit's Facebook page.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As a Tech School instructor, I was shocked the first time I caught my students _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Aside from gambling addiction and marrying Las Vegas strippers, Airmen stationed at Nellis AFB also have issues with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At Vandenberg AFB, satellites designed to monitor _ are now being launched into low Earth orbit.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Attempting to claim _ on a travel voucher is a great way to piss off the DTS gods.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Be careful, Airman! That stripper says she loves you, but she's only interested in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Before his heroic actions leading to his Medal of Honor, A1C John Levitow was best known for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Civilians will never understand the joys of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Congress approved a new retirement plan that replaces your pension with a lifetime supply of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dearest Mother, War is Hell. The DFAC burns the steaks. Marines call me a POG bitch. And just today, I witnessed _ for the first time!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Describe your Air Force career with one card.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During lengthy sessions of \"hurry up and wait,\" I enjoy _ to help pass the time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Follow the Air Force Band on Twitter @_.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "He is, The Most Air Force Man in the World. \"I'm not always _, but when I do, I prefer _. Stay motivated, my friends.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "HO HO HO! Merry Christmas, Chief! You were naughty this year, so I put _ in your stocking!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Honor a fallen comrade. Seriously, pause the game and raise your glasses for someone who made the ultimate sacrifice.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hot damn! That last deployment was a super sloppy mix of _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How do you convince your subordinates to do the right thing?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How do you endure the hell that is Army billeting?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I always knew I would end up in the military because I enjoyed _ at an early age.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am an American Airman, I am _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't know what's worse, ABUs or _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have no idea why Finance is closed today. There's just a sign on the door that reads \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wonder if _ was as common in the Army Corps as it is in today's Air Force.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If Captain America transferred to the Air Force, his indestructable shield would be replaced with _, and his new catchphrase would be \"_!\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If General LeMay were alive he'd bust through that door, put an end to all this _, and then bring back _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If linguists were ever considered \"The Tip of the Spear\" then what would be the shaft?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If You Ain't Ammo, You Ain't _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In an attempt to appeal to Air Force dependents, Sesame Street has created \"Big Blue,\" a character who teaches the other muppets about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the United States Air Force, we fight in Air, Space, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Iran's new \"state of the art\" drone is basically a hang gliding Roomba® that uses _ as its main weapon system.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It never fails! You just want to nap at the USO, but _ always gets in the way.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. I once saw a dependa kill a man with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Keep that crusty ass Air Trans TSgt happy with a whole lotta _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ma'am, why are you crying?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Only in the Air Force will you find _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Receiving orders to Minot is even more depressing than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Security Forces are the best at _, but are terrible at _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Smug Air Force Academy grads believe they're the best at _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "So you're saying you have a PT waiver for _? Niiiice...",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Standing at attention, the trainees yel, \"Off we go, into _!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Step 1: Request any DSD except MTI.\\n\\nStep 2: _.\\n\\nStep 3: You're an MTI now.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Surprise! AETC's new supplement covers _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "That's not a technique or a procedure! That's just _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Air Force Core Values: _ first, _ before self, and _ in all we do.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The F-35 may be the most lethal fighter on the planet, but it's no match for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The recruiter promised me an exciting career traveling the world, but it was more like an endless nightmare of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The shit-hot sequel to Fighter Pilot: Operation Red Flag is a boner-tastic freedom flick chock-full of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The SNCO seducing young Airmen is exhibiting a _ leadership style.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This CSAF will make their mark on heritage by changing _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "USAA is now offering a free subscription to _ Magazine when you open a new checking account.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Want a \"Promote Now\"? Well, make sure you receive a bullet for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What brought PT to a screeching halt?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What caused your wife's bitter tears at your last re-enlistment?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did the lifeguards find floating in the base gym's pool?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What earned your troop their latest Direct Safety Violation?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What embodies \"Air Force stupid\"?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is DARPA now training robots to do?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the key component of this administration's foreign policy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What just dropped out of the back of that C-130?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What really killed Billy Mitchell?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What the fuck does the Chaplain do?!?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What would make your supervisor's blood boil?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's been making life absolutely suck in your unit?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's causing that awful smell in the dorms?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's currently burning on the flight line?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's more fucked than Blues on the first day of Airman Leadership School?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's that bitch boy F-16 pilot whining about THIS time?!?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What'st he centerpiece to the new Academy spirit video?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When the American public hears \"United States Air Force,\" they can't help but think of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is myPers down THIS time?!?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You can tell Chuck Norris is an Air Force Vet because he uses _ and _ to slay his enemies.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You'd never know it, but the first sergeant's duties include _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're at the local base housing swinger party. What's your go-to icebreaker?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your Squadron Commander proudly displays a picture of _ on her desk.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a sure sign of mankind's decline.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ would only happen in my worst nightmares.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: good to the last drop.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: kid tested, mother approved.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: kid-tested, mother-approved.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Once you pop, the fun don't stop!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? There's an app for that.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_? Yeah, nah.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Betcha can't have just one!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. High five, bro.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. It's a trap!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. That was so metal.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. That's how I want to die.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. The best way to spice up your sex life.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "★✰✰✰✰ Do NOT go here! Found _ in my Kung Pao chicken!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "50% of all marriages end in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A recent laboratory study shows that undergraduates have 50% less sex after being exposed to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A romantic candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "ABC presents: \"_: The Story of _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After eight years in the White House, how is Obama finally letting loose?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After four platinum albums and three Grammys, it's time to get back to my roots, to what inspired me to make music in the first place: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After Hurricane Katrina, Sean Penn brought _ to all the people of New Orleans.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After Hurricane Katrina, Sean Penn brought _ to the people of New Orleans.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After months of practice with _, I think I'm finally ready for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _ to the people of Haiti.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Airport security guidelines now prohibit _ on airplanes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And the Academy Award for _ goes to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And the BAFTA for _ goes to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And what did you bring for show and tell?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Anthropologists have recently discovered a primitive tribe that worships _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Arby's: We Have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, B1?\\n\\nI think I am, B2: it's _ time!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As my New Year's resolution, I vow to give up _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As the mom of five rambunctious boys, I'm no stranger to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As the mum of five rambunctious boys, I'm no stranger to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Betcha can't have just one!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "BILLY MAYS HERE FOR _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bravo's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Brought to you by Bud Light®, the Official Beer of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Brought to you by Molson Canadian, the Official Beer of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Brought to you by XXXX Gold, the Official Beer of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "CBC presents \"_: the Story of _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Channel 4 presents _, the story of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Channel 5's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Channel 9 is pleased to present its new variety show, \"Hey Hey It's _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Check me out, yo! I call this dance move \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Click Here for _!!!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Coming this season, Samuel Beckett's classic existential play: Waiting for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Coming to Broadway this season, _: The Musical.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Coming to theaters this holiday season, \"Star Wars: The Rise of _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "CTV presents \"_: the Story of _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Daddy, why is mommy crying?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Daddy, why is mummy crying?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with _ and would like your advice.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Agony Aunt, I'm having some trouble with _ and I need your advice.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the Office of _ has denied your request for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Doctor, you've gone too far! The human body wasn't meant to withstand that amount of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dude, do not go in that bathroom. There's _ in there.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dude, do not go in that washroom. There's _ in there.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Due to a PR fiasco, Walmart no longer offers _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During Picasso's often-overlooked Brown Period, he produced hundreds of paintings of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During sex, I like to think about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Finally! A service that delivers _ right to your door.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For my turn, I will spend four gold and allocate all three workers to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with _ instead.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Future historians will agree that _ marked the beginning of America's decline.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Having problems with _? Try _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Here is the church\\nHere is the steeple\\nOpen the doors\\nAnd there is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey guys, welcome to Boston Pizza! Would you like to start the night off right with _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey guys, welcome to Chili's! Would you like to start the night off right with _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey guys, welcome to Sizzler! Would you like to start the night off right with _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey guys, welcome to TGIF! Would you like to start the night off right with _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey Reddit! I'm _. Ask me anything.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How am I maintaining my relationship status?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How did I lose my virginity?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I drink to forget _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I get by with a little help from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I know when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never truly understood _ until I encountered _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I spy with my little eye _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish I hadn't lost the instruction manual for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm going on a cleanse this week. Nothing but kale juice and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm Lebron James, and when I'm not slamming dunks, I love _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure what you're suffering from is called \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm sorry, Sir, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you can't be with the one you love, love _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "IF you like _, YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In 1,000 years, when paper money is but a distant memory, _ will be our currency.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In a world ravaged by _ our only solace is _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In a world ravaged by _, our only solace is _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the National Museum of Australia has opened an interactive exhibit on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has opened an interactive exhibit on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Australia, _ is twice as big and twice as deadly.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Belmarsh Prison, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In her latest feature-length film, Tracy Beaker struggles with _ for the first time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In his new summer comedy, Rob Schneider is _ trapped in the body of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that _ had really been _ all along.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _ for the first time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure _ for all eternity.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In your Best-Man speech, I'd talk about when we found ourselves _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of coal, Father Christmas now gives the bad children _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Introducing the amazing superhero/sidekick duo! It's _ and _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Introducing X-Treme Baseball! It's like baseball, but with _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's a trap!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's not _ that puts strain on a relationship, it's _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Just once, I'd like to hear you say \"Thanks, Mom. Thanks for _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Just once, I'd like to hear you say \"Thanks, Mum. Thanks for _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Just saw this upsetting video! Please retweet!! #stop_",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kids, I don't need drugs to get high. I'm high on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Life for Aboriginal people was forever changed when the white man introduced them to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Life was difficult for cavemen before _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Lifetime® presents _: the Story of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Lifetime® presents \"_: the Story of _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Lovin' you is easy 'cause you're _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Major League Baseball has banned _ for giving players an unfair advantage.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Make a haiku.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mate, do not go in that bathroom. There's _ in there.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mate, do not go in that toilet. There's _ in there.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Men's Wearhouse: You're gonna like _. I guarantee it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Military historians remember Alexander the Great for his brilliant use of _ against the Persians.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, we called you in because we're concerned about Cynthia. Are you aware that your daughter is _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My fellow Americans: Before this decade is out, we will have _ on the moon!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My plan for world domination begins with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next on ESPN2: The World Series of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next on Eurosport: The World Championship of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next on Nine's Wide World of Sports: The World Championship of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next on Sky Sports: The World Champsion of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next on TSN: The World Series of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next up on Channel 4: Ramsay's _ Nightmares.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Our chief weapons are fear, surprise, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now at the National Museum of Australia: an interactive exhibit on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now at the Natural History Museum: an interactive exhibit on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now at the Royal Ontario Museum: an interactive exhibit on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now at the Smithsonian: an interactive exhibit on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "O Canada, we stand on guard for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oi! Show us _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Old MacDonald had _. E-I-E-I-O.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Only you can prevent _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Penalty! _: that's 5 minutes in the box!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Qantas now prohibits _ on airplanes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin's favorite dish is _ stuffed with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Science will never explain _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Skidamarink a dink a dink, skidamarink a doo, I love _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sorry everyone, I just _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Step 1: _.\\nStep 2: _.\\nStep 3: Profit.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thank God for alcohol and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "That's right, I killed _. How, you ask? _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The class field trip was completely ruined by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The neighborhood kid didn't use snow for their snowman, they used _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The new Chevy Tahoe. With the power and space to take _ everywhere you go.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The school excursion was completely ruined by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The school field trip was completely ruined by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The school trip was completely ruined by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The secret to a lasting marriage is communication, communication, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has just opened an interactive exhibit on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The TFL apologizes for the delay in train service due to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The theme for next year's Eurovision Song Contest is \"We are _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The U.S. has begun airdropping _ to the children of Afghanistan.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They said we were crazy. They said we couldn't put _ inside of _. They were wrong.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This is the way the world ends\\nThis is the way the world ends\\nNot with a bang but with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This is your pilot speaking. Please prepare for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This season at Steppenwolf, Samuel Beckett's classic existential play: Waitng for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This season at the old Vic, Samuel Beckett's classic existential play: Waitng for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This season at the Princess of Wales Theatre, Samuel Beckett's classic existential play: Waiting for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This season at the Sydney Opera House, Samuel Beckett's classic existential play: Waiting for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today on Jerry Springer: \"Help! My son is _!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today on Maury: \"Help! My son is _!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tonight's top story: What you don't know about _ could kill you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "TSA guidelines now prohibit _ on airplanes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Turns out that _-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Uh, hey guys, I know this was my idea, but I'm having serious doubts about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "UKIP: Putting _ First!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "War! What is it good for?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Well if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I have a date with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What am I giving up for Lent?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What are my parents hiding from me?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What are school administrators using to curb rampant teenage pregnancy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What broke up the original Wiggles?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did I bring back from Amsterdam?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did I bring back from Bali?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did I bring back from Mexico?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did the US airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do old people smell like?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What does Dick Cheney prefer?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What don't you want to find in your Chinese food?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What don't you want to find in your Kung Pao chicken?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What don't you want to find in your Mongolian beef?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What ended my last relationship?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What gets better with age?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What gives me uncontrollable gas?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What helps Barack Obama unwind?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What helps Obama unwind?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is Batman's guilty pleasure?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is George W. Bush thinking about right now?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What kept Margaret Thatcher busy in her waning years?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What left this stain on my couch?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What made my first kiss so awkward?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What makes life worth living?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What makes me a true blue Aussie?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What never fails to liven up the party?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What will always get you laid?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's a girl's best friend?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's my anti-drug?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's my secret power?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's that smell?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the Canadian government using to inspire rural students to succeed?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the crustiest?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the most emo?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the new fad diet?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the next Happy Meal® toy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's there a ton of in heaven?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's there a tonne of in heaven?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am a billionare, I shall erect a 20-meter statue to commemorate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am a billionare, I shall erect a 20-metre statue to commemorate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am a billionare, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am President, I will create the Department of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am Prime Minister of Canada, I will create the Department of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am Prime Minister of Canada, I will create the Ministry of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am Prime Minister, I will create the Department of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I am Prime Minister, I will create the Ministry of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I pooped, what came out of my butt?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was tripping on acid, _ turned into _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you get right down to it, _ is just _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "White people like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am I sticky?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why can't I sleep at night?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why do I hurt all over?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "With enough time and pressure, _ will turn into _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your security clearance has been suspended beause of your shameful past involving _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the key to recovery.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Believe in the magic of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Can you feel the _ tonight?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Cupid is known for this _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every kiss begins with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Getting drunk on Valentine's Day usually leads to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "He got harder than a rock afeter he saw _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe he proposed to me with _ instead of a ring.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can't believe my sister wrote in her diary about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I found my mom's dildo and traded it for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I gave my girlfriend a B- because she didn't use (a/the) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hate Cupid because (of) _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I love you more than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you thought American Pie was bad, you should have seen what I did with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of roses, he gave me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My girlfriend gave me chocolate-covered _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our waitress at Hooters™ showed us her _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our wedding night consisted of _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Roses are red,\\nViolets are blue,\\nI am going to _\\nwith you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sex: Making _ great again.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "She just got a new tramp stamp of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "St. Valentine: Patron Saint of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Cosmo-sex-act-of-the-month: _. Surprise him with it tonight!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The true meaning of love is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To prove he loved me, he gave me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What can _ do for you?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What Cinderella really asked of her Fairy Godmother is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you run out of Valentine's Day gift ideas, you should get _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why do I like you?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ gets me all hot and bothered.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a bad idea. The More You Know ...",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is totally acceptable. If you're a freak.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ was my old college nickname.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. #squadgoals",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. #whitepeopleproblems",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Sounds like something Cartman would like.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Yeah, I'll blame that on the dog.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"The pursuit of _,\" starring Will Smith.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A bottle of tequila + _ = A Night to Remember.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Babe, come over, I'm _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Charlie Sheen holds the record for _ the fastest.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dammit, I don't care what anyone thinks! I'm in love with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't you dare fuck with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got a pop-up book entitled \"_\" for my 9-year-old nephew's birthday.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No sleep til' _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now this is a story all about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ronda Rousey gets thoroughly arouse by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "WHAT ARE THOSE?!?!?!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did I used to sell to people door-to-door?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do you feel when bae friend-zones you?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What does Hulk Hogan scream whilst ejaculating?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is my most treasured memory?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What makes me moist.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What touched me in a new way?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What was Mother Teresa's favorite memory whilst on her pilgrimage to Ireland?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What was the theme of Rob Ross's most cherished painting?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the most annoying thing I need to do once or twice a week?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ fun for the whole family!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A genie granted me three wishes, but I wasted them all trying to wish for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "All I want for my birthday is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Always a bridesmaid, never _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "An apple a day keeps _ away.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At the next home game, the first 1,000 attendees will get commerorative _ bobble head.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Eat, sleep, _, repeat.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How did I lose my car keys this time?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got so drunk last night that I ended up making out with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I thought I was _, but it turns out I was _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I thought passing a kidney stone was painful, but _ is way worse.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I used to watch porn. But now I watch _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I had a super power, it would be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If the stars align, this will be a good month for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In addition to breakfast, McDonalds now serves _ all day.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It might be the bath salts talking, but I love _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Men are from Mars. Woman are from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mexico will never pay for a wall, but it will pay for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner _ is made.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My problem is that I can't get enough of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next month, Apple is introducing the new i_.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No matter how many times I shower, I'll never be able to get rid of the stench of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No shirt, no shoes, no _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "North Korea will achieve global domination with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now, I an't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Obama... Half black, half white, all _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Pixar's next movie is Finding _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The fire alarm didn't wake me, but _ sure did.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The first settlers on Mars will need to bring a whole lot of _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Juice is loose. And by Juice I mean _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The next Super Bowl will have a surprise performance by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There are two types of people in the world. People who are _, and people who aren't.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This is the wettest I've been since having _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When life hands you lemons, make _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When the blacklight came on, you could see there was _ everywhere.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am I taking Ambien?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why does Batman really hate Superman?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ clearly places this cluster fuck of a mission in the red.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ got me banned from the Liberty Lounge for life.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ was the reason I got reverted at Camp May.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: the new and improved way to compel compliance.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: the secret weapon of the E-3 Mafia.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "AHOY, Seaman! Welcome to the Cutter Midgett! Prepare for a nonstop onslaught of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At TRACEN Yorktown, every safety brief must include a thorough discussion about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Boatswain's mate and damage controlman have merged to form a new rate, whose primary duties include _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "BREAKING NEWS! In an unbelievable feat of heroism, USCG rescue swimmers recovered _ from the North Atlantic.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Delirious from _, a cackling Patrick Etheridge once exclaimed, \"You have to go out, but you don't have to come back!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Describe your time in the Coast Guard with one card.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Douglas Munro posthumously received the Medal of Honor for extraordinary heroism in the face of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ensign + _ = an embarrassing international incident.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Food service specialists are always pissed off. _ doesn't even make them happy.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gather 'round, shipmates! It's time for a sea story about _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hey, XO! Instead of just echoing the commander, why don't you tell us about the importance of _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Honor, Respect, Devotion to Duty, and _: the newest Coast Guard Core Value.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How can I explain my time on patrol? Well, I guess it's mostly _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How useful is the Coast Guard Auxiliary? I'll put it this way, they're about as useful as _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never truly understood maritime enforcement until I stumble upon _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I will always be at my station, alert and atteding to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In exchange for safe passage, Colombian drug cartels are now bribing Seaman with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher have teamed up for The Guardian II: Searchier, Rescueier, and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Petty officer, I regrettably request to inform you about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sometimes discipline is used to mean punishment, but the real meaning of discipline can be described by the words _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The newest Coast Guard Regulation extensively covers _, a major focal point for the new Commandant.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The newest revision of 14 USC 89(a) now allows _ to more effectively compel compliance.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only reason a few Coasties graduated BUD/S is because they bribed the cadre with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only redeeming quality of TRACEN Petaluma is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Those bastards! I was minding my own business when CGPD came along and ticketed me for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What does the Master Chief Petty Officer of the Coast Guard dream about most nights?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What finally sank the Eagle?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What gives the Commandant of the Coast Guard the willies?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What made Popeye's forearms so girthy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When other service branches hear \"United States Coast Guard,\" they can't help but think of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You're either a boatswain's mate or you work for one, unless you're affiliated with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Unfortunately, Neo, no one can be told what _ is. You have to see it for yourself.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What the hell?! They added a 6/6 with flying, trample and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You think you have defeated me? Well, let's see how you handle _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ may pass, but _ will last forever.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will never be the same after _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"This is madness.\" \"No, THIS IS _!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and she walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me she's looking for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Adventure. Romance. _. From Paramount Pictures, \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And today's soup is Cream of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And would you like those buffalo wings mild, hot, or _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Armani suit: $1,000. Dinner for two at that swanky restaurant: $300. The look on her face when you surprise her with _: priceless.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Behind every powerful man is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy _ by the poolside.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dammit Gary. You can't just solve every problem with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do not fuck with me! I am literally _ right now.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do you lack energy? Does it sometimes feel like the whole world is _ ? Ask your doctor about Zoloft.®",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't forget! Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become \"_ Friday.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't worry kid. It gets better. I've been living with _ for 20 years.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every step towards _ gets me a little bit closer to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Everybody join hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That's the presence of _ in this room.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Forget everything you know about _, because now we've supercharged it with _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in one thing: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Having the worst day EVER. #_",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Heed my voice, mortals! I am the god of _ , and I will not tolerate _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Help me doctor, I've got _ in my butt!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we allow students to explore _ at their own pace.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into _, and I love to have a good time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled \"_.\" Can you explain?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight! You can be _, and I'll be _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How am I compensating for my tiny penis?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am become _, destroyer of _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't mean to brag, but they call me the Micheal Jordan of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have a strict policy. First date, dinner. Second date, kiss. Third date, _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I work my ass off all day for this family, and this is what I come home to? _!?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm Miss Tennessee, and if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I\"m absolutely mesmerized by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm sorry, Mrs. Chen, but there was nothing we could do. At 4:15 this morning, your son succumbed to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow _ at the country club.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you can't handle _, you'd better stay away from _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you had to describe the Card Czar, using only one of the cards in your hand, which one would it be?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In return for my soul, the Devil promised me _, but all I got was _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the beginning, there was _. And the Lord said, \"Let there be _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Life's pretty tough in the fast lane. That's why I never leave the house without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Listen Gary, I like you. But if you want that corner office, you're going to have to show me _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Man, this is bullshit. Fuck _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My grandfather worked his way up from nothing. When he came to this country, all he had was the shoes on his feet and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now in bookstores: \"The Audacity of _\" by Barack Obama.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Oprah's book of the month is \"_ For _: A Story of Hope.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Patient presents with _. Likely a result of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an intrest in _. This is normal.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The six things I could never do without: oxygen, Facebook, chocolate, Netflix, friends, and _ LOL!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple, or _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This year's hottest album is \"_\" by _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To become a true Yanomami warrior, you must prove that you can withstand _ without crying out.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To become a true Yanomamo warrior, you must prove that you can withstand _ without crying out.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tonight we will have sex. And afterwards, If you'd like, a little bit of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We never did find _, but along the way we sure learned a lot about _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Well if _ is good enough for _, it's good enough for me.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What killed my boner?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's fun until it gets weird?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's making things awkward in the sauna?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was a kid, we used to play Cowboys and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "WHOOO! God damn I love _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why am I broke?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon, and this is America's Got _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yo' mama's so fat she _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with _ every day.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on _, and then there's some stuff about _, and then it ends with _.",
|
|
"pick": 3
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You know, once you get past _, _ ain't so bad.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You Won't Believe These 15 Hilarious _ Bloopers!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You've seen the bearded lady! You've seen the ring of fire! Now, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ melts in your mouth, not in your hand.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ will win you the Mom of the Year award every time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Affordable healthcare's not the answer. Only _ can end America's opioid epidemic.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Alright, bros. Our frat house is condemned, and all the hot slampieces are over at Gamma Phi. The time has come to commence Operation _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As long as my kid doesn't grow up to be _, I'm happy.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dammit, Gary. You can't just solve every problem with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dear Mom and Dad, Camp is fun. I like capture the flag. Yesterday, one of the older kids taught me about _. I love you, Casey",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Forget Fifty Shades of Grey...\\n\\nGive me Fifty Shades of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "How am I going to kill myself?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am become _, the destroyer of worlds.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Many questioned the Smithsonian's decision to feature an exhibit devoted to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wes Anderson's new movie is a whimsical look at _ starring _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's going on with your female servicemembers?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You guys, you can buy _ on the dark web.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Young lady, you better knock it off with _ or you're grounded!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ has me questioning my life choices.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a f**king nihgtmare!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is why I can never run for PTA president.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never thought I'd have to worry about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish Doc McStuffins could fix _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It was all fun and games until _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mother's Day would not be complete without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My kids are famous for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My mom always said _ builds character.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My secret fear.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Only parents know the joy of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our weekends are now consumed by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Parenthood: powered by _ and sustained by _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Science will never explain the origin of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sesame Street should have a song about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The last time I did a Monster Under the Bed check, I found _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today's mommy-shaming moment is brought to you by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today's tantrum is brought to you by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We need an Instagram hashtag to celebrate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why did grandma send the kids home?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why did the babysitter quit?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why I'm THAT parent.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is mommy so #blessed?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You know you are a parent when _ seems normal.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ helps Parish priests relax.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ keeps me from prayer.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ led me to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_, a near occasion of sin.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_, the number one reason for staying chaste.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: the hit Catholic musical.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A Catholic's secret guilty pleasure.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A denied Gospel spoke about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A lesser-known Bible story is about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A nun's favorite thing about her order is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ain't no party like a Catholic party because a Catholic party has _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "An EWTN Original Series: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And they'll know we are Christians by our _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Another reason Saul was knocked off his horse on his way to Damascus.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Being Catholic is the best because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Catechsism #2866 talks about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Catholic millenials are known for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Catholics are tired of talking about _ with non-Catholics.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Contemplating _ takes up a lot of my prayer time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "David's secret weapon to defeat Goliath was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Doubting Thomas wished he was known for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every Catholic girl's dream.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am guilty of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got seven deadly sins but _ ain't one.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hope my tithe goes to providing _ to the Church.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I saw visions of _ after _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I will be canonized for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would be the Patron Saint of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would like _ for Christmas.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm a bad Catholic because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I started an order, it would focus on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In his youth, St. Augustine struggled with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Jesus performed the miracle of _ but it was never recorded.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Jesus specialized in _ before his public ministry.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Jesus would never be caught _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Lord, give me purity, just not _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Lord, I need _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Love is patient, love is kind, love is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Martin Luther just couldn't wrap his head around _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mea Culpa, Father, I couldn't make it Mass because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mel Gibson's newest movie is titled: \"_\".",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Michelangelo's newest painting is titled _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My old, Catholic grandma is known for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "NET Ministries uses _ to liven up their retreats.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next, on Catholic radio, we will be talking about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "On the 8th day, God created _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Other things Abraham could have sacrificed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Priests think about _ in their free time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Records of _ are found in the Secret Vatican Archives.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Saints pray for people who struggle with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Seminarins talk about _ after class.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "St. Nicholas brought _ to kids for Christmas for the first time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "St. Patrick didn't just drive the snakes out of Ireland, he also drove out _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The 11th commandment is about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The 1th plague: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best pilgrimages offer _ to its pilgrims.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Easter Vigil Mass is so long because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The New Evangelizatiopn's greatest tool is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The newest Catholic podcast talks entirely about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The newest hit hymn to hit the Church is called _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The next Council will be in response to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The next shrine will be built for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The pope is writing about _ right now.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The real reason for the Orthodox schism.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The stained glass window in the back of church is about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The topic of the next Paypal Encyclical.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There will be _ in eternity.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thing Jesus never spoke about.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We were taught about _ in Religious Ed as kids.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What Catholics are most known for to non-Catholics.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did I bring back from Rome?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is CS Lewis' next book about?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is talked about at the pub?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What priests really want to talk about in the homilies.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What should I give up for Lent?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When Jesus comes again, he will talk about _ first.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You know you're Catholic when you love talking about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You'll find this in Heaven.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Youth Ministers love talking about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ and _ are a love story for the ages!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ and _ make an unbeatable romantic combination.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ created a new sexual position that involves liberal use of _",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a great way to look and feel younger.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is even tastier when it is covered with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is now the emperor of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the new spokesperson for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is well-known for professional-looking _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ mesmerized the audience by reading a poem about _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ ran for president on a strong platform of using _ as a national defense.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ says I don't need to share my _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ spent their big Vegas winnings on a crazy amount of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ tastes like chicken according to 7 out of 10 albinos.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ told me to bring _ to the church picnic.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ used _ to stop the terrorist attack.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ used the time machine to corner the market on _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ was found with _ in the church graveyard.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ with _ always bring a smile to my face!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ won the talent show by putting a whole _ in their mouth.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: It's not just for breakfast anymore.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_'s biggest guilty pleasure is to curl up in bed with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A publisher accepted _'s book, \"1001 uses for _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "According to _, _ is the ultimate aphrodisiac.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After the spring thaw, we found _ buried under the giant snowdrift.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After years of searching, we finally found the Lost City of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "An abundance of _ is always the first sign of spring.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As a birthday treat, nothing can top _ dipped in _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As a practical joke, we switched grandma's heart pills with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Aunt Mary bored us for hours by showing us hundreds of photos of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Baseball's new drug scandal involves players hopped up on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bobby was suspended from high school when they found _ in his locker.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Can you explain why we found _ under your pillow?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Can you help me understand the connection between _ and _?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Can you pass the _ to _ already?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Can you please help me find my _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Can you tell me the best way to bring _ to the masses?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Can you tell me why the local nuns have been seen buying up _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "College kids have a new party game named after _ where they huff _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Did you even know that _ invented _?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Did you see the last episode of Hoarders? _ had the biggest collection of _ I ever saw!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't talk to me in the morning until I have my first cup of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Every night I say a little prayer for _ on Earth.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Everyone loved the erotic cake until it was revealed it was modeled on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For every magazine subscription I sell, I've been promised _ by _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For my birthday, my mom gave me a year's supply of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Forget chocolate and peanut butter... try _ and peanut butter instead!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Forget the chicken and the egg, which came first-- _ or _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Gary is at the door, trying to sell us _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Grandma's homemade _s are the best of all.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I always knew my cousin was disturbed, then we found his rambling manifesto on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am fairly certain that _ is not gluten free.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am storing all the _ I can for the inevitable apocalypse.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can survive being stranded on a deserted island as long as I have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I cannot believe that middle school students regularly use _ behind the school.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't know where you go the idea that _ would be effective birth control.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I had an internship that consisted of getting $1,000 worth of _ for _ every week.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I knew having both _ and _ at the party was a bad idea!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I lost my virginity to _ who seduced me with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never knew _ was an Olympic sport or that _ was a champion in it.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I ran out of money, so I started betting _ at the poker game.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I think it's time we leave _ in the past where it belongs.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I think they are running out of superheroes now that they've introduced the Human _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I thought you were going to learn an instrument, not to play the _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was so excited to receive a box of _ in the mail.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was surrounded by murderous thieves, with only a _ to protect myself.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish my mom would stop bragging about losing her virginity to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm a delivery boy now, but I dream of being a professional _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm bored reading _'s weekly blog about _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If _ ever becomes sentient, it's first act will be to kill _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you don't want to get pregnant, use _ as a new form of protection.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you think _ is sexy now, wait until you see what they do with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you want to marry _, think about planning a proposal built around _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Imagine the surprise when future generations open the time capsule and find _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In an incredible plot twist, _ was the murderer and it was done with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Kentucky, it is illegal to keep _ in your underwear, unless you are _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the future, _will be used as currency.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instead of paper, modern couples are using _ as the first wedding anniversary gift.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Is it any wonder that people started googling _ and _?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Is it really art? A sculpture of _ made from _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Isn't the famous saying, \"Speak softly but carry a big _\"?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It may not be much, but we'll always have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It was _ in the library with the _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's been five years but no one in the family will talk about the _incident.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kids were horrified to learn that their teddy bears were actually stuffed with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last night I had the oddest dream about _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Magic Time! Watch me turn _ into _!",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Martha Stewart always says that you can never have enough _ around the house.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mom always told me to beware of _ because they often lead to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Movie executives decided the next buddy cop franchise should pair _ with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite biblical story is when Jesus shares _ with the crowd.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My new startup features overnight delivery of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My perfet night at home starts with _ and leads to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My sister's memoir will no doubt be called \"A Life of _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My teacher doesn't care about us students, she's only saving up money for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nights aren't so lonely when you spent them snuggling with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one cared about _ until _ was seen around town with it.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Not a big fan of that new _-flavored ice cream.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Not a good idea to do a science project on the effect of _ on frogs.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Not content to just sell cookie, the Girl Scouts are now offering _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Only _ looks good modeling _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "She said she'd do anything for the part, but to make her do that thing with _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "So many people forget to bring _ when they camp out in the woods.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Someday, you will be telling your grandkids about your day with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Susie got a tummy ache from eating too much _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thankfully TSA now allows _ to be carried on to planes.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Amish don't need electricity as long as they have _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The award for best _ goes to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The award-winning documentary on _captivated us all.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Chinese cannot get enough of importing American _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Christmas tree looked so much better with _ perched on top.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The dating site found my perfect mate based on our shared love of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The ER could not belive they had to remove _ from _'s rectum.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The family reunion got awkward when we brought up grandma's love of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The gifts got switched, so I accidentally gave my niece _ for her 10th birthday.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The kid playing Richard III accidentally yelled, \"My kingdom for a _!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The magazine cover featured _ as well as _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The most controversial Super Bowl ad last year featured _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The most popular Instagram post of the month was _ covered in _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The newest reality TV star amazed everyone by making a sculpture of _ out of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The newest scientific discipline is the study of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The police arrested _ for illegal use of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The secret ingredient in _'s award-winning chili is adding _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The top-selling item on Etsy is _ made to look like _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's currently an online auction to buy the world's largest collection of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "These days, naughty kids find _ in their stocking instead of coal.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They finally released the long-lost book \"Harry Potter and the Tomb of _\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This year I decided to give up _ for Lent.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Until yesterday, I never knew I had an acute allergy to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We eased tensions with Russia by sending them _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Weird Al parodied _ by singing about _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What a weak of vacation! All I did was relax at the beach with a big pile of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When did sharing _ become a Thanksgiving tradition?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I failed to get my work done on time, I unsuccessfully tried to blame _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When you don't have feminine hygiene products handy, _ is an acceptable subsititute says _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "While doing spring cleaning, I was surprised to find so much _ between the couch cushions.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who knew that _ was really just a collection of _?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who knew there'd be so much _ in the movie about the life of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why does _ keep telling kids _ is a basic food group?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You have to get the new Apple product, the i_ endorsed by _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You should never expect to use _ until at least the third date.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your cousin was just arrested for trying to smuggle _ into the country inside her genitalia.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your dad was extremely embarrassed to be caught with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ has taken over _ in the service of Great Cthulu.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The next executive order will outlaw _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The whole 2016 election was really a battle between _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Who is watching when you're in the bathroom? _",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a relationship deal-breaker for me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the best thing since _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ makes a questionable gift for your parents.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ Plesurable. But Dangerous.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. Now 100% Gluten Free!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A celebrity can get away with _ but when I do it it's a federal offense.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A dozen red roses - $20, Limo service for the night - $800, _ - Priceless.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "After a week long binge of booze, drugs and hookers I woke up with a tattoo of _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And for my next magic trick, I will pull _ out of a hat!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "And that's the last time I buy _ off Craigslist®.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Ask your doctor if _ is right for you. Side affects may include: _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Be sure to pack _ carefully when camping, it attracts bears.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "CAUTION: _ can be hazardous to your health.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Children these days don't appreciate _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't talk to me before I've had my morning _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Dora the Explorer® found herself in over her head when she discovered _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Everynight before bed I always _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Everyone I know is talking about _ but I'm pretty sure it's bullshit.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Florida man tragically dies when _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "God created _ as a means of population control.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I always keep _ in my trunk.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I claimed _ as a deduction on my taxes last year.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got my degree in _ from _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have a secret weakness for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I have an irrational fear of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I hope the TSA doesn't find _ in my luggage.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I just can't stop watching _ videos on the internet.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I liked what I got for my birthday, but I would've LOVED _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I once paid $100 for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I saw _ on the interenet today. It turned me on a little.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I use _ to assert my dominance in uncomfortable social situations.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I waited in line for 8 hour when they released the new _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish someone would make _ flavored ice cream.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd do anything for love but I won't do _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd rather find my child _ than playing Pokemon GO®.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'd sell my body for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm definitely going to hell for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm seeking legal representation after being arrested for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm worried the NSA will find _ in my computer search history.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I've used _ as an excuse to get out of sex.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If _ was more popular, I would get laid all the time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If _ were a sport I would be a star athlete.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I die tomorrow, I will miss _ the most.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I saw Justin Beiber in the streets I would _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I were a superhero my super power would be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If I won the lottery the first thing I would buy is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If it weren't for modern medicine I would have died of _ a long time ago.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If the walls in Michael Jackson's bedroom could talk, they would tell stories of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you don't stop _, I'll turn this car around!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In a fight to the death against _ I would use _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In my will I'm leaving my children _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Inappropriate names for video games.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Is _ the illegitimate love child of Seth Rogen and James Franco?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Isn't it about time we legalized _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Jesus turned water into wine. I can turn potato salad into _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last night I had a weird sex dream about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Legend has it upon catching a leprechaun you receive _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "LIFE PRO TIP: Try _ instead of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Mommy says she's drinking coffee, but I know it's really _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My addiction to _ is starting to negatively affect my life.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My favorite hip hop song is about cars, money and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My highschool nickname was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My house was destroyed in a freak accident by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My job description is basically _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "My significant other loves it when I try _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My significant other named their genitals _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our son was sent home from school today for drawing a picture of _ in art class.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Sometimes I fantasize about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Straight Outta _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "Success is 10% inspiration and 90% _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Surprisingly, _ can be seen from space.",
|
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"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thank to the internet I was able to _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best revenge is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
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{
|
|
"text": "The little known 11th commandment is \"thou shalt not _\".",
|
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"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only thing my father got in the divorce was _.",
|
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"pick": 1
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The producers of _ bring you a heartwarming story about _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The secret ingredient in my casserole surprise is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The smell of _ reminds me of Christmas.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The title of my obituary will read \"_.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The World Health Organization has issued a warning about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There's nothing more romantic than _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This Thanksgiving I'm going to start a dinner conversation about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To last longer in bed I think about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We came home from church to find my dad _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We need more _ and fewer _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Wearing a fedora is a sure sign someone is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do we want? _. When do we want it? NOW!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is Daddy doing with the maid?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is in your closet that you do not talk about?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When fixing my parents' computer I found a folder full of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I arrive to my hotel room I expect _ left on the pillows.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was in school all the 'cool kids' were into _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was younger I thought _ actually meant _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When talking to a Police Officer be sure to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When vacationing in North Korea I was detained by state police for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You can use _ as a flotation device in the event of an emergency.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is Daddy's job.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the gift that keeps on giving.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ kills the mood every time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A Disney princess would never know about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Did you read the Scary Mommy blog post about _?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't know which is more disturbing: _, or _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I won the Mean Parent Award today with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If the kids ever find out about _, we're so screwed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Its okay, millions of parents struggle with _ every day.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My secret guilty pleasure.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now on Netflix: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Parenthood: Eat, sleep, _, repeat.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Parenting would be incomplete without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Pediatricians agree that _ will not harm children.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best reason for a vasectomy.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best reason to get a babysitter.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "This morning's hangover is brought to you by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What else could go wrong?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is my secret parental power?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why my first marriage ended in divorce.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why will mommy get arrested?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yes Doctor, we are here again. This time it's because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is basically the story of my life.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is/are the New Evangelization.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ led me to believe _ was morally wrong.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ ruins everything.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A Catholic's guide to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Aquinas responds to _ with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At the sight of _ Jesus was amazed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Be wise as _ and innocent as _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Even a Catholic cartoonist wouldn't dare to make light of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "From the desire of destroying _, deliver me, Jesus.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hi I'm _, and this is _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am writing my thesis on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got kicked out of a youth conference for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I only retweet tweets about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I ran out of money on pilgrimage because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I will make you fishers of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I would give talks about _ to youth groups.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If Jesus hadn't died for our sins, His back-up plan might have been _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you don't laugh at _ it's just sad.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In my dreams, I am _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In the name of _, I command you to stop _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's not true Catholic church unless it offers _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Leading adult faith formation is difficult because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Lord prepare me, to be _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Love _, use _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Modern philosophers will never understand _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "No one talks about the tenth circle of Hell, which is punishment reserved for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Only invoke _ if you are _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Podcasting about _ is super difficult.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Praying _ away.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Repent and submit to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Seek 2035 will be hosted by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Shout out to _ for _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "St. Joseph is most notably quoted speaking about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Teaching about _ shortens my purgatory time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The most underrated sacrilege of all is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The venial sin of _ is a gatewa to the mortal sin of _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thomas Aquinas wrote the most about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thomas' lesser-known book is about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What was I excommunicated for?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What you don't want to find in the Holy Water.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is going to make me rich!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the key to a healthy lifestyle",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A recent study shows students get straight A's after being exposed to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bruno Mars should write a song about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Daydreaming about _ is the only way to survive a boring class.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Grandma would never admit she likes _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Haters love hating, but lovers love _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am so proud of my drawing of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I wish my parents would let me watch that TV show about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Imagine what the world would be without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Just watch. _ is how I will make history.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My best friend stopped talking to me over _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Spinach doesn't make you strong, _ does.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The unforgettable memory of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "There is a small, remote town in Europe where _ is totally normal.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They should make a movie musical about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Today's episode of National Geographic will feature _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What does Justin Timberlake need?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What happens when you eat too much sugar?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's a surefire way to get detention?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is just showing off.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the best way to avoid volunteering for the PTA.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: it just keeps going, and going, and going...",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Keep out of reach of children.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. That is my life goal.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_is all the same to me.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "60 Minutes is having a 3-hour segment on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A CLUE mystery revealed: Miss Scarlet, with a _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A miracle cure is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "At the city council meeting this month, we will talk about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During work, my mind usually wanders to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Grandma always gives us _ when we visit.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I always keep _ in my car.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I am responsible for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can never have too much of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I can only get through my day with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I don't know one person who doesn't love _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I got bit by a radioactive spider and gained _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I introduce myself to strangers by telling them about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I knew we would be friends when I found out they had _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never expected to get _ when I became a Jedi.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never want to see _ again.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never worked harder in my life to get _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I tried to soothe an angry cat with _. I failed.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I will be thrilled if I never have to be a part of _ again.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In my last will and tetament, I will leave all my money to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It is a truth universally acknowledged that _ brings happiness.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's time for me to share my story. I will call it, _: A Memoir.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let's address the huge elephant in the room: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My bedroom smells like _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My high school teacher lied to me about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My ideal spouse is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My most memorable day involved _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My worst date ever involved _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Never go to church without _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Never let Boy Scouts be in charge of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "One of the best things about Friday night is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Spending time with _ makes me happy.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The _ Club was the most popular in my high school.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best activity to do while camping is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The hottest new Broadway show of the year: _: The Musical.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The last thing I want to show up on my doorstep on a Friday night is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The little-known eighth deadly sin: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Lord said, \"Let there be _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Seven Dwarfs' awkward cousin: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The sight of _ always makes me cry like a small child.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The very definition of dread: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The worst thing to wake up to on a Saturday morning is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "They said I would find a fun surprise in the cereal box. Instead I found _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Though some people think it's shameful or embarrassing, I would never apologize for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "To have all my dreams come true, I first need to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Tonight the President of the United States will reveal his stance on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What am I famous for?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What brought me and my spouse together?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did Santa Claus bring you last year?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do you use to calm a screaming toddler?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What gets out of hand absurdlyfast?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What I would win the Nobel Peace Prize for.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is something you cannot un-see?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the first item on my resume?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the key to happiness?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the secret ingredient in barbecue sauce?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is the secret to my heart?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What new year's resolution have I failed at 4 years in a row?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What was Moses's greatest miracle?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What will you always find at a Republican gathering?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's my go-to excuse when a weirdo asks me out?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's the first thing I would do after winning the Mega Millions?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I die, I hope heaven will have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I ran into an old friend and they asked me what I was up to, the first thing that popped out of my mouth was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Without _, the world would be at peace and full of joy and love.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Without Christians, we would never know _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You are 90% more likely to suffer from emotional trauma when exposed to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Evidence that this is the darkest timeline.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: It even makes its own gravy!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: My body is ready.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: The struggle is real.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: Wake up sheeple!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As a staunch libertarian, I believe the only role for government is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Code Three, request backup!\\n\\nI'm surrounded by _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never karaoke, because I always end up getting drunk and singing a song about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm finally writing that book, it's titled \"Zen and the Art of _.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Instructions unclear: dick stuck in _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's all about _ - no _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Let it go!\\nLet it go!\\n\\n_ never bothered me anyway...",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My therapist says I have an unhealthy attitude about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Thank you Mario! But _ is in another castle!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Turn down for what?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What really brings out the child in me?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What would you do for a Klondike® Bar?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Whatever else may change, one thing is certain: you can't unfuck _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "When I was young, the only thing that kept me off the streets was _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why do I need feminism?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is Jon Stewart really retiring?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why so salty?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Yo bro, you tried _?\\n\\nShit's straight fire.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You kids with your fancy degrees...\\n\\nThey don't teach ya' nothin' 'bout _ in school.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is my co-pilot.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_, that's why I got married.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_: A solution in search of a problem.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Give me liberty or give me _!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"I love the smell of _ in the morning!\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "\"Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending _?\" - Rick Santorum",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "A spoonful of _ helps the _ go down.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I never should have introduced _ to _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I use the Internet to look at pictures of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was in _ but my life changed when I found _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "If you build _, they will come.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Last night, I tried _ again. It was MUCH better the second time.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Me and _? That's just a rumor!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My fortune cookie said I should spend more time playing with _ and less time with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My personal trainer showed me this cool thing I could do with _ and _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Randaflex™: The first over-the-counter treatment for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The only mind-altering substance I use is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We've secretly taken the coffee you usually drink and replaced it with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You did _? With _? For how many cookies?",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ has been scientifically proven to cause cancer.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Amazingly, Japanese toy manufacturers have managed to make _ irresistibly cute.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Bankrupt governments around the world are turning to _ to generate additional revenue.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Brace yourselves, _ is coming.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Christian Dior's radical new perfume was inspired by the smell of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Don't Google _. You're gonna regret it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Drunk Me bought _ online. Sober Me says thanks!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Exposure to _ scarred me for life.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "For your crimes against the people, I hereby sentence you to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Friends don't let friends try _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I blew all my money on _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I tried baking a cake, but the directions were unclear. I ended up with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I was no surprised to see _ at the trailer park.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In war, there is no substitute for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "It's dangerous to go alone! Take _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Kids, don't talk to strangers. Especially the ones who try to give you _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My fortune cookie said: \"_ is in your future.\"",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My shrink told me _ would broaden my horizons.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Nobody knows how, or why, _ became wildly popular in Iceland.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Pixar had to cut _ from their latest movie in order to keep it G-rated.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Straight outta _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Video games taught me important lessons about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did I regrettably buy from a street vendor?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What do I not want to find in my Hot Pocket.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is Helen Keller surprisingly good at?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What made things awkward during the orgy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What's my fantasy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "You. Me. _. Now.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the best indication why Asians are such bad drivers.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is the leading cause for blindness in white males.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is wasted on the youth.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_. - You go Girl!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Amelia Earhart didn't die flying a plane, she is living on an island surrounded by _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "As a small child, I used to feed my goldfish _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "During my last dominatrix relationship we always used _ as our safe word.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Forgive me Father I have _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Growing up, Mama always told me life is like a box of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Hopefully, in our generation, we will solve the problem of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I didn't believe the gossip tabloids about _, until I watched the videos.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I like my coffee like I like my women: strong and _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "In Poland, the #1 cause of infant mortality is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "My father never loved me because I was addicted to _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Now is my time: I'm young, dumb and full of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best selling book this year was _ written by John Mccain.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The greatest cosplay ever: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The new Ford Windstar. Built for stability with plenty of cargo space for _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The Red Cross is currently providing _ to poverty stricken areas of Africa",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The US civil war wasn't about slavery, it was about _!",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What are high school sex-ed classes using to stop the increasing trend of early pregnancies?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What did I get my Mom for Mother's day?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is happening right now in North Korea?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What is that clawing noise from the basement?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What keeps me warm during those long, bitterly cold, winter nights?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What makes Grandpa yell at night?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "What makes the world think Americans are lazy?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Women are insecure about themselves because men only think about _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your account has been banned. Motive: _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Your Dad is so stupid he _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "_ is a healthy meal, right?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Before Marilyn Monroe came along, Hugh Hefner wanted _ as the first Playboy centerfold. Unfortunately for everyone, that deal fell through.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I caught the kids getting into _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I think about _ while breastfeeding.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "I'm an expert in _. I invented it.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Junior's favorite cock block.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Our current nuclear arsenal is old and disgusting! Under President Trump, we'll have young, firm, beautiful warheads equipped with _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Please don't get upset. I didn't mean for _ to scare you.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Silly Macklemore. He tried rhyming _ with _.",
|
|
"pick": 2
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "The best part of being a Stay at Home Parent is _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "We were late at school today because of _.",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why does daddy drink?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is daddy in time out again?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"text": "Why is mommy locked in the bathroom?",
|
|
"pick": 1
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"pick": 1,
|
|
"text": "_ likes to eat pant."
|
|
}
|
|
]
|
|
}
|