[
	"{{name}} has a girlfriend, but he\ndoesn't post 56 photos a day about it.\n{{name}} likes to keep these things private.",
	"{{name}} is on the internet.\n{{name}} sees something that offends him.\n{{name}} moves on.",
	"{{name}} doesn't spam his friends\nwith Be Like Bill memes.",
	"{{name}} doesn't drive with his\nfog lights on when it isn't foggy.\n{{name}} knows this is annoying\nand dazzles other drivers.",
	"{{name}} doesn't talk to a friend when\nthat friend just woke up.",
	"{{name}} can afford a Mac but he\ngets a PC instead because\n{{name}} is not a dumbass.",
	"{{name}} does not play Candy Crush.\n{{name}} has a life.",
	"{{name}} is a jerk.",
	"{{name}} wakes up and sees it snowing outside.\n{{name}} doesn't post about it because\nhe knows his friends also have windows.",
	"{{name}} knows tomorrow is Monday.\n{{name}} doesn't post about it, becuase\nhe knows it happens every week.",
	"{{name}} doesn't shout at the TV\nwhen football is on.\n{{name}} knows they can't hear him.",
	"{{name}} pays attention in class instead of\nchatting with his friends on Discord.",
	"{{name}} has a good camera.\n{{name}} doesn't take useless photos\nand call himself a photographer.",
	"{{name}} doesn't beg for his PRs to get\nmerged when he had three merged today.",
	"{{name}} is a bad meme.\n{{name}} has a good sense of humor about it.",
	"{{name}} likes to play games with his nephew.\n{{name}} lets him win all the time.",
	"{{name}} meets Della.\n{{name}} loves Della.\nDella loves {{name}}.\n{{name}} and Della dump social networks.",
	"{{name}} sees your picture has only three likes.\n{{name}} presses like and comments\nwith a compliement.",
	"{{name}} bought a new car.\n{{name}} doesn't post pictures\nand tag 49 others about it.",
	"{{name}} is nice.",
	"{{name}} has the heart to tell the truth\nwhen his friends don't look very good.",
	"{{name}} likes dogs.\n{{name}} doesn't bring his dogs\nto your house uninvited.",
	"{{name}} likes to go bowling.\n{{name}} doesn't put up bumpers.",
	"{{name}} eats pant.",
	"{{name}} likes to use Xiao.\n{{name}} doesn't complain when\nit goes closed source.",
	"{{name}} loves to buy shoes.\n{{name}} doesn't buy 200 pairs for no reason.",
	"{{name}} doesn't like dogs.\n{{name}} doesn't complain on the internet\nbecause he knows no one cares.",
	"{{name}}.\nEnough said.",
	"{{name}} is a butt.",
	"{{name}} knows.",
	"{{name}} uses Discord's dark theme\nso he doesn't go blind."
]