[
	"{{name}} has a girlfriend, but he doesn't post 56 photos a day about it. {{name}} likes to keep these things private.",
	"{{name}} is on the internet. {{name}} sees something that offends him. {{name}} moves on.",
	"{{name}} doesn't spam his friends with Be Like Bill memes.",
	"{{name}} doesn't drive with his fog lights on when it isn't foggy. {{name}} knows this is annoying and dazzles other drivers.",
	"{{name}} doesn't talk to a friend when that friend just woke up.",
	"{{name}} can afford a Mac but he gets a PC instead because {{name}} is not a dumbass.",
	"{{name}} does not play Candy Crush. {{name}} has a life.",
	"{{name}} is a jerk.",
	"{{name}} wakes up and sees it snowing outside. {{name}} doesn't post about it because he knows his friends also have windows.",
	"{{name}} knows tomorrow is Monday. {{name}} doesn't post about it, because he knows it happens every week.",
	"{{name}} doesn't shout at the TV when football is on. {{name}} knows they can't hear him.",
	"{{name}} pays attention in class instead of chatting with his friends on Discord.",
	"{{name}} has a good camera. {{name}} doesn't take useless photos and call himself a photographer.",
	"{{name}} doesn't beg for his PRs to get merged when he had three merged today.",
	"{{name}} is a bad meme. {{name}} has a good sense of humor about it.",
	"{{name}} likes to play games with his nephew. {{name}} lets him win all the time.",
	"{{name}} meets Della. {{name}} loves Della. Della loves {{name}}. {{name}} and Della dump social networks.",
	"{{name}} sees your picture has only three likes. {{name}} presses like and comments with a compliement.",
	"{{name}} bought a new car. {{name}} doesn't post pictures and tag 49 others about it.",
	"{{name}} is nice.",
	"{{name}} has the heart to tell the truth when his friends don't look very good.",
	"{{name}} likes dogs. {{name}} doesn't bring his dogs to your house uninvited.",
	"{{name}} likes to go bowling. {{name}} doesn't put up bumpers.",
	"{{name}} eats pant.",
	"{{name}} likes to use Xiao. {{name}} doesn't complain when it goes closed source.",
	"{{name}} loves to buy shoes. {{name}} doesn't buy 200 pairs for no reason.",
	"{{name}} doesn't like dogs. {{name}} doesn't complain on the internet because he knows no one cares.",
	"{{name}}. Enough said.",
	"{{name}} is a butt.",
	"{{name}} knows.",
	"{{name}} uses Discord's dark theme so he doesn't go blind."
]