diff --git a/assets/json/cards-against-humanity.json b/assets/json/cards-against-humanity.json
new file mode 100644
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--- /dev/null
+++ b/assets/json/cards-against-humanity.json
@@ -0,0 +1,3221 @@
+{
+	"blackCards": [
+		{
+			"text": "Why can't I sleep at night?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I got 99 problems but _ ain't one.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's a girl's best friend?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's that smell?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "This is the way the world ends \/ This is the way the world ends \/ Not with a bang but with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What is Batman's guilty pleasure?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "TSA guidelines now prohibit _ on airplanes.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What ended my last relationship?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I drink to forget _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's that sound?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's the next Happy Meal® toy?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _ for the first time.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_. That's how I want to die.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What does Dick Cheney prefer?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's the most emo?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "White people like _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_. Betcha can't have just one!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "War!<br><br>What is it good for?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "BILLY MAYS HERE FOR _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_. High five, bro.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "During sex, I like to think about _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What did I bring back from Mexico?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What are my parents hiding from me?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What will always get you laid?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What helps Obama unwind?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's there a ton of in heaven?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Major League Baseball has banned _ for giving players an unfair advantage.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's the new fad diet?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "When I am the President of the United States, I will create the Department of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_. It's a trap!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "How am I maintaining my relationship status?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Coming to Broadway this season, _: The Musical.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's my secret power?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What gives me uncontrollable gas?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What never fails to liven up the party?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What am I giving up for Lent?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What do old people smell like? ",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "The class field trip was completely ruined by _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a plague of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I do not know with which weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Why do I hurt all over?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Why am I sticky?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's my anti-drug?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "And the Academy Award for _ goes to _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "For my next trick, I will pull _ out of _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_: Good to the last drop.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_: kid-tested, mother-approved.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What gets better with age?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I never truly understood _ until I encountered _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin's favorite delicacy is _ stuffed with _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Lifetime&reg; presents _, the story of _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Make a haiku.",
+			"pick": 3
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that _ had really been _ all along.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_ is a slippery slope that leads to _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In a world ravaged by _, our only solace is _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "That's right, I killed _. How, you ask? _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "When I was tripping on acid, _ turned into _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_ + _ = _.",
+			"pick": 3
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's the next superhero\/sidekick duo?",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Dear Abby,<br><br>I'm having some trouble with _ and would like your advice.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _ to the people of Haiti.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Next on ESPN2, the World Series of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Step 1: _. Step 2: _. Step 3: Profit.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Here is the church<br>Here is the steeple<br>Open the doors<br>And there is _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "How did I lose my virginity?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "During his childhood, Salvador Dal&iacute; produced hundreds of paintings of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What don't you want to find in your Kung Pao chicken?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has just opened an exhibit on _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Daddy, why is Mommy crying?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "When I pooped, what came out of my butt?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In the distant future, historians will agree that _ marked the beginning of America's decline.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's the gift that keeps on giving?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "This season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only _ and his wits.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits _ against _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for _!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In a pinch, _ can be a suitable substitute for _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Science will never explain the origin of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "An international tribunal has found _ guilty of _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "The socialist governments of Scandinavia have declared that access to _ is a basic human right.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "He who controls _ controls the world.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the Office of _ has denied your request for _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_ would be woefully incomplete without _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "My new favorite porn star is Joey \"_\" McGee.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found _.com\/_.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, _, acceptance.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I went from _ to _, all thanks to _.",
+			"pick": 3
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "This month's Cosmo: \"Spice up your sex life by bringing _ into the bedroom.\"",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "If God didn't want us to enjoy _, he wouldn't have given us _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "After months of debate, the Occupy Wall Street General Assembly could only agree on \"More _!\"",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I spent my whole life working toward _, only to have it ruined by _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Only two things in life are certain: death and _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "The votes are in, and the new high school mascot is _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Before _, all we had was _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Tonight on 20\/20: What you don't know about _ could kill you.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "You haven't truly lived until you've experienced _ and _ at the same time.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Hey baby, come back to my place and I'll show you _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "My gym teacher got fired for adding _ to the obstacle course.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Finally! A service that delivers _ right to your door.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of _ and _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "During high school, I never really fit in until I found _ club.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Listen, son. If you want to get involved with _, I won't stop you. Just steer clear of _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Call the law offices of Goldstein &amp; Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate _ in the workplace.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Lovin' you is easy 'cause you're _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What left this stain on my couch?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Turns out that _-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "After months of practice with _, I think I'm finally ready for _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure _ for all eternity.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "When you get right down to it, _ is just _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Having problems with _? Try _!",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "And what did <i>you<\/i> bring for show and tell?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "With enough time and pressure, _ will turn into _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for _!",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "As part of his contract, Prince won't perform without _ in his dressing room.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Man, this is bullshit. Fuck _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Dear Leader Kim Jong-un,<br>our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_ may pass, but _ will last forever.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "She's up all night for good fun.<br>I'm up all night for _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Alright, bros. Our frat house is condemned, and all the hot slampieces are over at Gamma Phi. The time has come to commence Operation _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In return for my soul, the Devil promised me _, but all I got was _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on _, and then there's some stuff about _, and then it ends with _.",
+			"pick": 3
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_ will never be the same after _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In the beginning, there was _.<br>And the Lord said, \"Let there be _.\"",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's fun until it gets weird?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "We never did find _, but along the way we sure learned a lot about _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "You've seen the bearded lady!<br>You've seen the ring of fire!<br>Now, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon _!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "How am I compensating for my tiny penis?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow _ at the country club.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and <i>she<\/i> walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me she's looking for _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Oprah's book of the month is \"_ For _: A Story of Hope.\"",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Do <i>not<\/i> fuck with me! I am literally _ right now.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Adventure.<br>Romance.<br>_.<br><br>From Paramount Pictures, \"_.\"",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I am become _, destroyer of _!",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "If you can't handle _, you'd better stay away from _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "This year's hottest album is \"_\" by _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Every step towards _ gets me a little closer to _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Forget everything you know about _, because now we've supercharged it with _!",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight! You can be _, and I'll be _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Do the Dew &reg; with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew _!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Armani suit: $1,000. Dinner for two at that swanky restaurant: $300. The look on her face when you surprise her with _: priceless.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we allow students to explore _ at their own pace.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Heed my voice, mortals! I am the god of _, and I will not tolerate _!",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I don't mean to brag, but they call me the Michael Jordan of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Why am I broke?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Help me doctor, I've got _ in my butt!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into _, and I love to have a good time.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Patient presents with _. Likely a result of _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Life's pretty tough in the fast lane. That's why I never leave the house without _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's making things awkward in the sauna?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in one thing: _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Having the worst day EVER. #_",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Don't forget! Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become \"_ Friday.\"",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What killed my boner?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Yo' mama so fat she _!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Well if _ is good enough for _, it's good enough for me.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled \"_\". Can you explain?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Do you lack energy? Does it sometimes feel like the whole world is _? Zoloft.&reg;",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "WHOOO! God damn I love _!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Now in bookstores: \"The Audacity of _\", by Barack Obama.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "And today's soup is Cream of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I work my ass off all day for this family, and this is what I come home to? _!?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I have a strict policy. First date, dinner. Second date, kiss. Third date, _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "When I was a kid, we used to play Cowboys and _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple, or _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "You Won't Believe These 15 Hilarious _ Bloopers!"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Don't worry kid. It gets better. I've been living with _ for 20 years."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "My grandfather worked his way up from nothing. When he came to this country, all he had was the shoes on his feet and _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Behind every powerful man is _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with _ every day."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy _ by the poolside."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "\"This is madness.\" \"No, THIS IS _!\""
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Listen Gary, I like you. But if you want that corner office, you're going to have to show me _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I went to the desert and ate of the peyote cactus. Turns out my spirit animal is _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "And would you like those buffalo wings mild, hot, or _?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "The six things I could never do without: oxygen, Facebook, chocolate, Netflix, friends, and _ LOL!"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it _?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in _. This is normal."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I'm sorry, Mrs. Chen, but there was nothing we could do. At 4:15 this morning, your son succumbed to _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I'm Miss Tennessee, and if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Tonight we will have sex. And afterwards, If you'd like, a little bit of _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Everybody join hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That's the presence of _ in this room."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "To become a true Yanomamo warrior, you must prove that you can withstand _ without crying out."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon, and this is America's Got _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "If you had to describe the Card Czar, using only one of the cards in your hand, which one would it be?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 2,
+			"text": "_ be all like _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Art isn't just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "As reparations for slavery, all African Americans will receive _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "As Teddy Roosevelt said, the four manly virtues are honor, temperance, industry, and _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Best you go back where you came from, now. We don't take too kindly to _ in these parts."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "CNN breaking news! Scientists discover _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Coming to Red Lobster&reg; this month, _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Congratulations! You have been selected for our summer internship program. While we are unable to offer a salary, we can offer you _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Dance like there's nobody watching, love like you'll never be hurt, and live like you're _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Errbody in the club _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Feeling so grateful! #amazing #mylife #_."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Girls just wanna have _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Google Calendar alert: _ in 10 minutes."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I don't believe in God. I believe in _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I got rhythm, I've got music, I've got _. Who could ask for anything more?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I tell you, it was a non-stop fuckfest. When it was over, my asshole looked like _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I'll take the BBQ bacon burger with friend egg and fuck it how about _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I'm sorry, sir, but your insurance plan doesn't cover injuries caused by _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I've had a horrible vision, father. I saw mountains crumbling, stars falling from the sky. I saw _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "If at first you don't succeed, try _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "In the 1950s, psychologists prescribed _ as a cure for homosexually."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "LSD + _ = really bad time."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "\"Mom's to-do list:<br\/>- Buy Groceries.<br\/>- Clean up _.<br\/>- Soccer Practice.\""
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Most Americans would not vote for a candidate who is openly _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! I will NOT let _ ruin this wedding."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Oh no! Siri, how do I fix _?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "One more thing. Watch out for Big Mike. They say he killed a man with _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Ooo, daddy like _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Poor Brandon, still living in his parent's basement. I heard he never got over _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm _!"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "She's a lady in the streets, _ in the sheets."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "She's just one of the guys, you know? She likes beer, and football, and _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Son, take it from someone who's been around the block a few times. Nothin' puts her in the mood like _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Summer lovin', had me a blast. _, happened so fast."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "\"The top Google auto-complete results for \"Barack Obama\":<\/br>- Barack Obama Height.<\/br>- Barack Obama net worth.<\/br>- Barack Obama _.\""
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Then the princess kissed the frog, and all of a sudden the frog was _!"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "There is no God. It's just _ and then you die."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "This Friday at the Liquid Lunge, it's _ Night! Ladies drink free."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "We do not shake with our left hands in this country. That is the hand we use for _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Well if _ is a crime, then lock me up!"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Well, shit. My eyes ain't so good, but I'll eat my own boot if that ain't _!"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What are all those whales singing about?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What sucks balls?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What totally destroyed my asshole?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What turned me into a Republican?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What will end racism once and for all?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What's a total waste of Hillary Clinton's time?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What's about to take dance floor to the next level?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What's the gayest?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What's the most problematic?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Why am I laughing and crying and taking off my clothes?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "With a one-time gift of just $10, you can save this child from _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "You know who else liked _? Hitler."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "You won't believe what's in my pussy. It's _."
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Siskel and Ebert have panned _ as \"poorly conceived\" and \"sloppily executed.\"",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Up next on Nickelodeon: \"Clarissa Explains _.\"",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Believe it or not, Jim Carrey can do a dead-on impression of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "It's Morphin' Time! Mastadon! Pterodactyl! Triceratops! Sabertooth Tiger! _!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "How did Stella get her groove back?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Tonight on SNICK: \"Are You Afraid of _?\"",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "And in the end, the dragon was not evil; he just wanted _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 2,
+			"text": "Critics are raving about HBO's new <i>Game of Thrones<\/i> spin-off, \"_ of _.\""
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Having tired of poetry and music, the immortal elves now fill their days with _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Who blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Your father was a powerful wizard, Harry. Before he died, he left you something very precious: _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I'm Bobby Flay, and if you can't stand _, get out of the kitchen!"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "It's not delivery. It's _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Aw babe, your burps smell like _!"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Don't miss Rachel Ray's hit new show, <i>Cooking with _<\/i>."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Excuse me, waiter. Could take this back? This soup tastes like _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Now on Netflix: <i>Jiro Dreams of _<\/i>."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 2,
+			"text": "In line with our predictions, we find a robust correlation between _ and _ (p&gt;.05)."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized _ in the lab."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "A study published in Nature this week found that _ is good for you in small doses."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 2,
+			"text": "In an attempt to recreate conditions just after the Big Bang, physicists at the LHC are observing collisions between _ and _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What really killed the dinosaurs?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Hey there, Young Scientists! Put on your labcoats and strap on your safety goggles, because today we're learning about _!"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 2,
+			"text": "Today on MythBusters, we found out how long _ can withstand _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Don't worry, Penny! Go Go Gadget _!"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 2,
+			"text": "I need you like _ needs _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "I'm just gonna stay in tonight. You know, Netflix and _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Nothing says \"I love you\" like _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 2,
+			"text": "Such _. Very _. Wow."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "This app is basically Tinder, but for _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "TRIGGER WARNING: _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What did I nickname my genitals?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "You guys, you can buy _ on the dark web."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "When you go to the polls on Tuesday, remember:  a vote for me is a vote for _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Senator, I trust you enjoyed _ last night.  Now, can I count on your vote?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Trump's great!  Trump's got _.  I love that."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "According to Arizona's stand-your-ground law, you're allowed to shoot someone if they're _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "It's 3AM.  The red phone rings.  It's _.  Who do you want answering?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Donald Trump has nominated _ for his VP."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "In 2019, Donald Trump eliminated our national parks to make room for _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Donald Trump's first act as president was to outlaw _."
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "After blacking out during New Year's Eve, I was awoken by _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "This holiday season, Tim Allen must overcome his fear of _ to save Christmas.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Jesus is _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Every Christmas, my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What keeps me warm during the cold, cold winter?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French hens, two turtle doves, and _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Wake up, America. Christmas is under attack by secular liberals and their _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Here's what you can expect for the new year.<br>Out: _.<br>In: _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Revealed:<br>Why He Really Resigned!<br>Pope Benedict's Secret Struggle with _!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "GREETINGS HUMANS<br><br>I AM _ BOT<br><br>EXECUTING PROGRAM",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Kids these days with their iPods and their Internet. In my day, all we needed to pass the time was _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Because they are forbidden from masturbating, Mormons channel their repressed sexual energy into _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Blessed are you, Lord our God, creator of the universe, who has granted us _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "But wait, there's more! If you order _ in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in _ absolutely free!",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's the one thing that makes an elf instantly ejaculate?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I really hope my grandmother doesn't ask me to explain _ again.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "You have been waylaid by _ and must defend yourself.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I have an idea even better than Kickstarter, and it's called _starter.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Action stations! Action stations! Set condition one throughout the fleet and brace for _!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In the final round of this year's Omegathon, Omeganauts must face off in a game of _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Press &uarr; &darr; &larr; &rarr; B to unleash _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I don't know exactly how I got the PAX plague, but I suspect it had something to do with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "The most controversial game at PAX this year is an 8-bit indie platformer about _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What made Spock cry?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In the new DLC for Mass Effect, Shepard must save the galaxy from _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "No Enforcer wants to manage the panel on _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_: Achievement unlocked.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "There was a riot at the Gearbox panel when they gave the attendees _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "<i>(Heavy breathing)<\/i><br>Luke, I am _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "You think you have defeated me? Well, let's see how you handle _!",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What the hell?! They added a 6\/6 with flying, trample, and _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_ is way better in _ mode.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Unfortunately, Neo, no one can be <i>told<\/i> what _ is. You have to see it for yourself.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Let me tell you about my new startup. It's basically _, but for _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "_ was totally worth the trauma.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 2,
+			"text": "Buzzfeed presents: 10 pictures of _ that look like _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "During my first game of D&amp;D, I accidentally summoned _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Bob Ross's little-known first show was called &quot;The Joy of _.&quot;"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Like _, State Farm is there."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "The Discovery Channel presents: _ week."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "\"It's not delivery.<br\/>It's _.\""
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Don't miss Rachel Ray's hit new show, Cooking with _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Now on Netflix: Jiro Dreams of _."
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "A wise man said, \"Everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about _.\"",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Our relationship is strictly professional. Let's not complicate things with _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Corruption. Betrayal. _. Coming soon to Netflix, \"House of _.\"",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Because you enjoyed _, we thought you'd like _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I can't believe Netflix is using _ to promote House of Cards.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "We're not like other news organizations. Here at Slugline, we welcome _ in the office. ",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "I'm not going to lie. I despise _. There, I said it.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with _ that requires my immediate attention.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "If you need him to, Remy Danton can pull some strings and get you _, but it'll cost you.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "You can't wait forever. It's time to talk to your doctor about _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "The Westboro Baptist Church is now picketing soldiers' funerals with signs that read 'GOD HATES _.'"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What are two cards in your hand that you want to get rid of?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "The elders of the Ibo tribe of Nigeria recommend _ as a cure for impotence."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare for _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life. Today on our program, _. Stay with us."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What do you see?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Sir, we found you passed out naked on the side of the road. What's the last thing you remember?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Astronomers have discovered that the universe consists of 5% ordinary matter, 25% dark matter, and 70% _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "BowWOW! is the first pet hotel in LA that offers _ for dogs."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Hey, whatever happened to Renee Zellweger?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Housekeeping! You want _?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "In bourgeois society, capital is independent and has individuality, while the living person is _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "What's wrong with these gorillas?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "You say tomato, I say _."
+		},
+		{
+			"pick": 1,
+			"text": "America is hungry. America needs _."
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "Air Canada guidelines now prohibit _ on airplanes.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "O Canada, we stand on guard for _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "CTV presents _, the story of _.",
+			"pick": 2
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the Royal Ontario Museum has opened an interactive exhibit on _.",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+			"text": "What's the Canadian government using to inspire rural students to succeed?",
+			"pick": 1
+		},
+		{
+		"text": "_ loves to eat pant.",
+		"pick": 1
+		}
+	],
+	"whiteCards": [
+		"Coat hanger abortions.",
+		"Man meat.",
+		"Autocannibalism.",
+		"Vigorous jazz hands.",
+		"Flightless birds.",
+		"Pictures of boobs.",
+		"Doing the right thing.",
+		"The violation of our most basic human rights.",
+		"Viagra&reg;.",
+		"Self-loathing.",
+		"Spectacular abs.",
+		"A balanced breakfast.",
+		"Roofies.",
+		"Concealing a boner.",
+		"Amputees.",
+		"The Big Bang.",
+		"Former President George W. Bush.",
+		"The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.",
+		"Smegma.",
+		"Being marginalized.",
+		"Cuddling.",
+		"Laying an egg.",
+		"The Pope.",
+		"Aaron Burr.",
+		"Genital piercings.",
+		"Fingering.",
+		"A bleached asshole.",
+		"Horse meat.",
+		"Fear itself.",
+		"Science.",
+		"Elderly Japanese men.",
+		"Stranger danger.",
+		"The terrorists.",
+		"Praying the gay away.",
+		"Same-sex ice dancing.",
+		"Ethnic cleansing.",
+		"Cheating in the Special Olympics.",
+		"German dungeon porn.",
+		"Bingeing and purging.",
+		"Making a pouty face.",
+		"William Shatner.",
+		"Heteronormativity.",
+		"Nickelback.",
+		"Tom Cruise.",
+		"The profoundly handicapped.",
+		"The placenta.",
+		"Chainsaws for hands.",
+		"Arnold Schwarzenegger.",
+		"An icepick lobotomy.",
+		"Goblins.",
+		"Object permanence.",
+		"Dying.",
+		"Foreskin.",
+		"A falcon with a cap on its head.",
+		"Hormone injections.",
+		"Dying of dysentery.",
+		"Sexy pillow fights.",
+		"The invisible hand.",
+		"A really cool hat.",
+		"Sean Penn.",
+		"Heartwarming orphans.",
+		"The clitoris.",
+		"The Three-Fifths compromise.",
+		"A sad handjob.",
+		"Men.",
+		"Historically black colleges.",
+		"A micropenis.",
+		"Raptor attacks.",
+		"Agriculture.",
+		"Vikings.",
+		"Pretending to care.",
+		"The Underground Railroad.",
+		"My humps.",
+		"Being a dick to children.",
+		"Geese.",
+		"Bling.",
+		"Sniffing glue.",
+		"The South.",
+		"An Oedipus complex.",
+		"Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.",
+		"Sexting.",
+		"YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.",
+		"Mutually-assured destruction.",
+		"Sunshine and rainbows.",
+		"Count Chocula.",
+		"Sharing needles.",
+		"Being rich.",
+		"Skeletor.",
+		"A sausage festival.",
+		"Michael Jackson.",
+		"Emotions.",
+		"Farting and walking away.",
+		"The Chinese gymnastics team.",
+		"Necrophilia.",
+		"Spontaneous human combustion.",
+		"Yeast.",
+		"Leaving an awkward voicemail.",
+		"Dick Cheney.",
+		"White people.",
+		"Penis envy.",
+		"Teaching a robot to love.",
+		"Sperm whales.",
+		"Scrubbing under the folds.",
+		"Panda sex.",
+		"Whipping it out.",
+		"Catapults.",
+		"Masturbation.",
+		"Natural selection.",
+		"Opposable thumbs.",
+		"A sassy black woman.",
+		"AIDS.",
+		"The KKK.",
+		"Figgy pudding.",
+		"Seppuku.",
+		"Gandhi.",
+		"Preteens.",
+		"Toni Morrison's vagina.",
+		"Five-Dollar Footlongs&trade;.",
+		"Land mines.",
+		"A sea of troubles.",
+		"A zesty breakfast burrito.",
+		"Christopher Walken.",
+		"Friction.",
+		"Balls.",
+		"Dental dams.",
+		"A can of whoop-ass.",
+		"A tiny horse.",
+		"Waiting 'til marriage.",
+		"Authentic Mexican cuisine.",
+		"Genghis Khan.",
+		"Old-people smell.",
+		"Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.",
+		"Pixelated bukkake.",
+		"Friends with benefits.",
+		"The token minority.",
+		"The Tempur-Pedic&reg; Swedish Sleep System&trade;.",
+		"A thermonuclear detonation.",
+		"Take-backsies.",
+		"The Rapture.",
+		"A cooler full of organs.",
+		"Sweet, sweet vengeance.",
+		"RoboCop.",
+		"Keanu Reeves.",
+		"Drinking alone.",
+		"Giving 110%.",
+		"Flesh-eating bacteria.",
+		"The American Dream.",
+		"Taking off your shirt.",
+		"Me time.",
+		"A murder most foul.",
+		"The inevitable heat death of the universe.",
+		"The folly of man.",
+		"That thing that electrocutes your abs.",
+		"Cards Against Humanity.",
+		"Fiery poops.",
+		"Poor people.",
+		"Edible underpants.",
+		"Britney Spears at 55.",
+		"All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.",
+		"Pooping back and forth. Forever.",
+		"Fancy Feast&reg;.",
+		"Jewish fraternities.",
+		"Being a motherfucking sorcerer.",
+		"Pulling out.",
+		"Picking up girls at the abortion clinic.",
+		"The homosexual agenda.",
+		"The Holy Bible.",
+		"Passive-agression.",
+		"Ronald Reagan.",
+		"Vehicular manslaughter.",
+		"Nipple blades.",
+		"Assless chaps.",
+		"Full frontal nudity.",
+		"Hulk Hogan.",
+		"Daddy issues.",
+		"The hardworking Mexican.",
+		"Natalie Portman.",
+		"Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.",
+		"God.",
+		"Sean Connery.",
+		"Saxophone solos.",
+		"Gloryholes.",
+		"The World of Warcraft.",
+		"Homeless people.",
+		"Scalping.",
+		"Darth Vader.",
+		"Eating the last known bison.",
+		"Guys who don't call.",
+		"Hot Pockets&reg;.",
+		"A time travel paradox.",
+		"The milk man.",
+		"Testicular torsion.",
+		"Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.",
+		"World peace.",
+		"A salty surprise.",
+		"Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.",
+		"Smallpox blankets.",
+		"Licking things to claim them as your own.",
+		"The heart of a child.",
+		"Robert Downey, Jr.",
+		"Lockjaw.",
+		"Eugenics.",
+		"A good sniff.",
+		"Friendly fire.",
+		"The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.",
+		"Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.",
+		"Hurricane Katrina.",
+		"Free samples.",
+		"Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.",
+		"A foul mouth.",
+		"The glass ceiling.",
+		"Republicans.",
+		"Explosions.",
+		"Michelle Obama's arms.",
+		"Getting really high.",
+		"Attitude.",
+		"Sarah Palin.",
+		"The &Uuml;bermensch.",
+		"Altar boys.",
+		"My soul.",
+		"My sex life.",
+		"Pedophiles.",
+		"72 virgins.",
+		"Pabst Blue Ribbon.",
+		"Domino's&trade; Oreo&trade; Dessert Pizza.",
+		"A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.",
+		"The Blood of Christ.",
+		"Half-assed foreplay.",
+		"My collection of high-tech sex toys.",
+		"A middle-aged man on roller skates.",
+		"Bitches.",
+		"Bill Nye the Science Guy.",
+		"Italians.",
+		"A windmill full of corpses.",
+		"Adderall&trade;.",
+		"Crippling debt.",
+		"A stray pube.",
+		"Prancing.",
+		"Passing a kidney stone.",
+		"A brain tumor.",
+		"Leprosy.",
+		"Puppies!",
+		"Bees?",
+		"Frolicking.",
+		"Repression.",
+		"Road head.",
+		"A bag of magic beans.",
+		"An asymmetric boob job.",
+		"Dead parents.",
+		"Public ridicule.",
+		"A mating display.",
+		"A mime having a stroke.",
+		"Stephen Hawking talking dirty.",
+		"African children.",
+		"Mouth herpes.",
+		"Overcompensation.",
+		"Riding off into the sunset.",
+		"Being on fire.",
+		"Tangled Slinkys.",
+		"Civilian casualties.",
+		"Auschwitz.",
+		"My genitals.",
+		"Not reciprocating oral sex.",
+		"Lactation.",
+		"Being fabulous.",
+		"Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.",
+		"My relationship status.",
+		"Asians who aren't good at math.",
+		"Alcoholism.",
+		"Incest.",
+		"Grave robbing.",
+		"Hope.",
+		"8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.",
+		"Kids with ass cancer.",
+		"Winking at old people.",
+		"The Jews.",
+		"Justin Bieber.",
+		"Doin' it in the butt.",
+		"A lifetime of sadness.",
+		"The Hamburglar.",
+		"Swooping.",
+		"Classist undertones.",
+		"New Age music.",
+		"Not giving a shit about the Third World.",
+		"The Kool-Aid Man.",
+		"A hot mess.",
+		"Tentacle porn.",
+		"Lumberjack fantasies.",
+		"The gays.",
+		"Scientology.",
+		"Estrogen.",
+		"GoGurt&reg;.",
+		"Judge Judy.",
+		"Dick fingers.",
+		"Racism.",
+		"Surprise sex!",
+		"Police brutality.",
+		"Passable transvestites.",
+		"The Virginia Tech Massacre.",
+		"When you fart and a little bit comes out.",
+		"Oompa-Loompas.",
+		"A fetus.",
+		"Obesity.",
+		"Tasteful sideboob.",
+		"Hot people.",
+		"BATMAN!!!",
+		"Black people.",
+		"A gassy antelope.",
+		"Sexual tension.",
+		"Third base.",
+		"Racially-biased SAT questions.",
+		"Porn stars.",
+		"A Super Soaker&trade; full of cat pee.",
+		"Muhammed (Praise Be Unto Him).",
+		"Puberty.",
+		"A disappointing birthday party.",
+		"An erection that lasts longer than four hours.",
+		"White privilege.",
+		"Getting so angry that you pop a boner.",
+		"Wifely duties.",
+		"Two midgets shitting into a bucket.",
+		"Queefing.",
+		"Wiping her butt.",
+		"Golden showers.",
+		"Barack Obama.",
+		"Nazis.",
+		"A robust mongoloid.",
+		"An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.",
+		"Getting drunk on mouthwash.",
+		"Lunchables&trade;.",
+		"Women in yogurt commercials.",
+		"John Wilkes Booth.",
+		"Powerful thighs.",
+		"Mr. Clean, right behind you.",
+		"Multiple stab wounds.",
+		"Cybernetic enhancements.",
+		"Serfdom.",
+		"Kanye West.",
+		"Women's suffrage.",
+		"Children on leashes.",
+		"Harry Potter erotica.",
+		"The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.",
+		"Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.",
+		"Parting the Red Sea.",
+		"The Amish.",
+		"Dead babies.",
+		"Child beauty pageants.",
+		"AXE Body Spray.",
+		"Centaurs.",
+		"Copping a feel.",
+		"Grandma.",
+		"Famine.",
+		"The Trail of Tears.",
+		"The miracle of childbirth.",
+		"Finger painting.",
+		"A monkey smoking a cigar.",
+		"The Make-A-Wish&reg; Foundation.",
+		"Anal beads.",
+		"The Force.",
+		"Kamikaze pilots.",
+		"Dry heaving.",
+		"Active listening.",
+		"Ghosts.",
+		"The Hustle.",
+		"Peeing a little bit.",
+		"Another goddamn vampire movie.",
+		"Shapeshifters.",
+		"The Care Bear Stare.",
+		"Hot cheese.",
+		"A mopey zoo lion.",
+		"A defective condom.",
+		"Teenage pregnancy.",
+		"A Bop It&trade;.",
+		"Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.",
+		"Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.",
+		"Boogers.",
+		"Unfathomable stupidity.",
+		"Breaking out into song and dance.",
+		"Soup that is too hot.",
+		"Morgan Freeman's voice.",
+		"Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.",
+		"MechaHitler.",
+		"Flying sex snakes.",
+		"The true meaning of Christmas.",
+		"My inner demons.",
+		"Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.",
+		"My vagina.",
+		"A homoerotic volleyball montage.",
+		"Actually taking candy from a baby.",
+		"Crystal meth.",
+		"Exactly what you'd expect.",
+		"Natural male enhancement.",
+		"Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.",
+		"Inappropriate yodeling.",
+		"Lady Gaga.",
+		"The Little Engine That Could.",
+		"Vigilante justice.",
+		"A death ray.",
+		"Poor life choices.",
+		"A gentle caress of the inner thigh.",
+		"Embryonic stem cells.",
+		"Nicolas Cage.",
+		"Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.",
+		"Switching to Geico&reg;.",
+		"The chronic.",
+		"Erectile dysfunction.",
+		"Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine&reg;.",
+		"A bucket of fish heads.",
+		"50,000 volts straight to the nipples.",
+		"Being fat and stupid.",
+		"Hospice care.",
+		"A pyramid of severed heads.",
+		"Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying.",
+		"A subscription to Men's Fitness.",
+		"Crucifixion.",
+		"A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.",
+		"Some god-damn peace and quiet.",
+		"Used panties.",
+		"A tribe of warrior women.",
+		"The penny whistle solo from \"My Heart Will Go On.\"",
+		"An oversized lollipop.",
+		"Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.",
+		"Not wearing pants.",
+		"Consensual sex.",
+		"Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.",
+		"Funky fresh rhymes.",
+		"The art of seduction.",
+		"The Devil himself.",
+		"Advice from a wise, old black man.",
+		"Destroying the evidence.",
+		"The light of a billion suns.",
+		"Wet dreams.",
+		"Synergistic management solutions.",
+		"Growing a pair.",
+		"Silence.",
+		"An M16 assault rifle.",
+		"Poopy diapers.",
+		"A live studio audience.",
+		"The Great Depression.",
+		"A spastic nerd.",
+		"Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body.",
+		"Tickling Sean Hannity, even after he tells you to stop.",
+		"Stalin.",
+		"Brown people.",
+		"Rehab.",
+		"Capturing Newt Gingrich and forcing him to dance in a monkey suit.",
+		"Battlefield amputations.",
+		"An uppercut.",
+		"Shiny objects.",
+		"An ugly face.",
+		"Menstrual rage.",
+		"A bitch slap.",
+		"One trillion dollars.",
+		"Chunks of dead prostitute.",
+		"The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir.",
+		"The female orgasm.",
+		"Extremely tight pants.",
+		"The Boy Scouts of America.",
+		"Stormtroopers.",
+		"Throwing a virgin into a volcano.",
+		"Getting in her pants, politely.",
+		"Gladiatorial combat.",
+		"Good grammar.",
+		"Hipsters.",
+		"Gandalf.",
+		"Genetically engineered super-soldiers.",
+		"George Clooney's musk.",
+		"Getting abducted by Peter Pan.",
+		"Eating an albino.",
+		"Enormous Scandinavian women.",
+		"Fabricating statistics.",
+		"Finding a skeleton.",
+		"Suicidal thoughts.",
+		"Dancing with a broom.",
+		"Deflowering the princess.",
+		"Dorito breath.",
+		"One thousand Slim Jims.",
+		"My machete.",
+		"Overpowering your father.",
+		"Ominous background music.",
+		"Media coverage.",
+		"Making the penises kiss.",
+		"Moral ambiguity.",
+		"Medieval Times&reg; Dinner &amp; Tournament.",
+		"Mad hacky-sack skills.",
+		"Just the tip.",
+		"Literally eating shit.",
+		"Leveling up.",
+		"Insatiable bloodlust.",
+		"Historical revisionism.",
+		"Jean-Claude Van Damme.",
+		"Jafar.",
+		"The boners of the elderly.",
+		"The economy.",
+		"Statistically validated stereotypes.",
+		"Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.",
+		"Slow motion.",
+		"Space muffins.",
+		"Sexual humiliation.",
+		"Sexy Siamese twins.",
+		"Santa Claus.",
+		"Scrotum tickling.",
+		"Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.",
+		"Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.",
+		"Quivering jowls.",
+		"Revenge fucking.",
+		"Pistol-whipping a hostage.",
+		"Quiche.",
+		"Zeus's sexual appetites.",
+		"Words, words, words.",
+		"Tripping balls.",
+		"Being a busy adult with many important things to do.",
+		"The four arms of Vishnu.",
+		"The shambling corpse of Larry King.",
+		"The hiccups.",
+		"The harsh light of day.",
+		"The Gulags.",
+		"The Fanta&reg; girls.",
+		"A big black dick.",
+		"A beached whale.",
+		"A low standard of living.",
+		"A nuanced critique.",
+		"A bloody pacifier.",
+		"A crappy little hand.",
+		"Shaft.",
+		"Being a dinosaur.",
+		"Beating your wives.",
+		"Neil Patrick Harris.",
+		"Coughing into a vagina.",
+		"Carnies.",
+		"Nubile slave boys.",
+		"Bosnian chicken farmers.",
+		"A web of lies.",
+		"A rival dojo.",
+		"A passionate Latino lover.",
+		"Panty raids.",
+		"Appreciative snapping.",
+		"Apologizing.",
+		"Clams.",
+		"A woman scorned.",
+		"Being awesome at sex.",
+		"Spring break!",
+		"Another shot of morphine.",
+		"Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of \"Friends.\"",
+		"A soulful rendition of \"Ol' Man River.\"",
+		"Making a friend.",
+		"A sweaty, panting leather daddy.",
+		"Intimacy problems.",
+		"The new Radiohead album.",
+		"Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game&reg;.",
+		"A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.",
+		"An army of skeletons.",
+		"A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.",
+		"Beefin' over turf.",
+		"The Google.",
+		"Bullshit.",
+		"A sweet spaceship.",
+		"A 55-gallon drum of lube.",
+		"Special musical guest, Cher.",
+		"The human body.",
+		"Mild autism.",
+		"Nunchuck moves.",
+		"Whipping a disobedient slave.",
+		"An ether-soaked rag.",
+		"Oncoming traffic.",
+		"A dollop of sour cream.",
+		"A slightly shittier parallel universe.",
+		"My first kill.",
+		"Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.",
+		"The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.",
+		"Tiny nipples.",
+		"Power.",
+		"Death by Steven Seagal.",
+		"A Burmese tiger pit.",
+		"Basic human decency.",
+		"Grandpa's ashes.",
+		"One Ring to rule them all.",
+		"The day the birds attacked.",
+		"Fetal alcohol syndrome.",
+		"Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.",
+		"A bigger, blacker dick.",
+		"The mere concept of Applebee's&reg;.",
+		"A sad fat dragon with no friends.",
+		"A pi&ntilde;ata full of scorpions.",
+		"Existing.",
+		"Hillary Clinton's death stare.",
+		"Catastrophic urethral trauma.",
+		"Double penetration.",
+		"Daddy's belt.",
+		"Swiftly achieving orgasm.",
+		"Mooing.",
+		"Rising from the grave.",
+		"Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.",
+		"Some really fucked-up shit.",
+		"Weapons-grade plutonium.",
+		"All of this blood.",
+		"Scrotal frostbite.",
+		"Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.",
+		"The mixing of the races.",
+		"Pumping out a baby every nine months.",
+		"Tongue.",
+		"Loki, the trickster god.",
+		"Whining like a little bitch.",
+		"Wearing an octopus for a hat.",
+		"An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.",
+		"Finding Waldo.",
+		"Upgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.",
+		"A magic hippie love cloud.",
+		"Fuck Mountain.",
+		"Living in a trashcan.",
+		"The corporations.",
+		"Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.",
+		"Jeff Goldblum.",
+		"Survivor's guilt.",
+		"Me.",
+		"All my friends dying.",
+		"Shutting the fuck up.",
+		"An ass disaster.",
+		"Some kind of bird-man.",
+		"The entire Internet.",
+		"Going around punching people.",
+		"A boo-boo.",
+		"Indescribable loneliness.",
+		"Having sex on top of a pizza.",
+		"Chugging a lava lamp.",
+		"Warm, velvety muppet sex.",
+		"Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere.",
+		"Nothing.",
+		"Samuel L. Jackson.",
+		"Self-flagellation.",
+		"The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.",
+		"The Quesadilla Explosion Salad&trade; from Chili's&reg;.",
+		"Reverse cowgirl.",
+		"Vietnam flashbacks.",
+		"Actually getting shot, for real.",
+		"Not having sex.",
+		"Cock.",
+		"Dying alone and in pain.",
+		"A cop who is also a dog.",
+		"The way white people is.",
+		"Gay aliens.",
+		"The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.",
+		"A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.",
+		"A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint.",
+		"Slapping a racist old lady.",
+		"A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie.",
+		"Jumping out at people.",
+		"Three months in the hole.",
+		"Blood farts.",
+		"The Land of Chocolate.",
+		"A botched circumcision.",
+		"My manservant, Claude.",
+		"Vomiting mid-blowjob.",
+		"Letting everyone down.",
+		"Having shotguns for legs.",
+		"Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone.",
+		"Mufasa's death scene.",
+		"The Harlem Globetrotters.",
+		"Demonic possession.",
+		"Fisting.",
+		"The thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn.",
+		"Girls that always be textin'.",
+		"Blowing some dudes in an alley.",
+		"A spontaneous conga line.",
+		"A vagina that leads to another dimension.",
+		"Disco fever.",
+		"Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick.",
+		"Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs&reg; to get fifty continuous hours of energy.",
+		"Sneezing, farting, and coming at the same time.",
+		"Some douche with an acoustic guitar.",
+		"Spending lots of money.",
+		"Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.",
+		"An unstoppable wave of fire ants.",
+		"A greased-up Matthew McConaughey.",
+		"Flying robots that kill people.",
+		"Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.",
+		"Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.",
+		"The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.",
+		"Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.",
+		"An all-midget production of Shakespeare's <i>Richard III<\/i>.",
+		"Screaming like a maniac.",
+		"Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.",
+		"A pile of squirming bodies.",
+		"Buying the right pants to be cool.",
+		"Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.",
+		"That ass.",
+		"A surprising amount of hair.",
+		"Eating Tom Selleck's mustache to gain his powers.",
+		"Velcro&trade;.",
+		"A PowerPoint presentation.",
+		"Crazy opium eyes.",
+		"10 Incredible Facts About the Anus.",
+		"An interracial handshake.",
+		"Moderate-to-severe joint pain.",
+		"Finally finishing off the Indians.",
+		"Sugar madness.",
+		"Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.",
+		"The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction.",
+		"The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East.",
+		"Fucking a corpse back to life.",
+		"Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits.",
+		"Calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality.",
+		"Whatever a McRib&reg; is made of.",
+		"No clothes on, penis in vagina.",
+		"All the single ladies.",
+		"Whispering all sexy.",
+		"How awesome I am.",
+		"Ass to mouth.",
+		"Smoking crack, for instance.",
+		"Falling into the toilet.",
+		"A dance move that's just sex.",
+		"The size of my penis.",
+		"Some sort of Asian.",
+		"A hopeless amount of spiders.",
+		"Party Mexicans.",
+		"Drinking responsibly.",
+		"The safe word.",
+		"Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.",
+		"Bouncing up and down.",
+		"Jizz.",
+		"Ambiguous sarcasm.",
+		"A shiny rock that proves I love you.",
+		"Dem titties.",
+		"My worthless son.",
+		"Exploding pigeons.",
+		"A Ugandan warlord.",
+		"My sex dungeon.",
+		"A kiss on the lips.",
+		"Child Protective Services.",
+		"A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.",
+		"Doo-doo.",
+		"The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China.",
+		"Sports.",
+		"A fart.",
+		"Unquestioning obedience.",
+		"Three consecutive seconds of happiness.",
+		"Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis.",
+		"Snorting coke off a clown's boner.",
+		"Africa.",
+		"Depression.",
+		"A horse with no legs.",
+		"The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.",
+		"Khakis.",
+		"Interspecies marriage.",
+		"A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.",
+		"Almost giving money to a homeless person.",
+		"Stuff a child's face with Fun Dip&reg; until he starts having fun.",
+		"What Jesus would do.",
+		"A for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes.",
+		"Blackula.",
+		"The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real.",
+		"My dad's dumb fucking face.",
+		"Prince Ali,<br>fabulous he,<br>Ali Ababwa.",
+		"A manhole.",
+		"A sex goblin with a carnival penis.",
+		"A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.",
+		"A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness.",
+		"Sharks with legs.",
+		"Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other.",
+		"Lots and lots of abortions.",
+		"Seeing things from Hitler's perspective",
+		"Too much cocaine.",
+		"Doing the right stuff to her nipples.",
+		"Giant sperm from outer space.",
+		"Oil!",
+		"Ennui.",
+		"A powered exoskeleton.",
+		"A disappointing salad.",
+		"Mom's new boyfriend.",
+		"Unrelenting genital punishment.",
+		"Denzel.",
+		"The swim team, all at once.",
+		"The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion.",
+		"Being nine years old.",
+		"The unbelievable world of mushrooms.",
+		"The Abercrombie &amp; Fitch lifestyle.",
+		"Vegetarian options.",
+		"My first period.",
+		"Having been dead for a while.",
+		"Backwards knees.",
+		"Being paralyzed from the neck down.",
+		"Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.",
+		"A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home.",
+		"A crazy little thing called love.",
+		"Ancient Athenian boy-fucking",
+		"Out-of-this-world bazongas.",
+		"The ghost of Marlon Brando.",
+		"The basic suffering that pervades all of existence.",
+		"Being worshipped as the one true God.",
+		"Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin.",
+		"All these decorative pillows.",
+		"A mouthful of potato salad.",
+		"Russian super-tuberculosis.",
+		"A reason not to commit suicide.",
+		"Going to a high school reunion on ketamine.",
+		"The passage of time.",
+		"Child support payments.",
+		"Changing a person's mind with logic and facts.",
+		"My boyfriend's stupid penis.",
+		"The tiger that killed my father.",
+		"Genghis Khan's DNA.",
+		"Boring vaginal sex.",
+		"40 acres and a mule.",
+		"A whole new kind of porn.",
+		"Slowly easing down onto a cucumber.",
+		"Wearing glasses and sounding smart.",
+		"AIDS monkeys.",
+		"A team of lawyers.",
+		"Getting drive-by shot.",
+		"Not believing in giraffes.",
+		"Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe.",
+		"A giant powdery manbaby.",
+		"Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears.",
+		"P.F. Chang himself.",
+		"An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation.",
+		"A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.",
+		"Daddy's credit card.",
+		"September 11th, 2001.",
+		"An unforgettable quincea&ntilde;era.",
+		"Deez nuts.",
+		"Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion.",
+		"Some shit-hot guitar licks.",
+		"Butt stuff.",
+		"Blackface.",
+		"Blowjobs for everyone.",
+		"Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri.",
+		"Western standards of beauty.",
+		"Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry.",
+		"My dead son's baseball glove.",
+		"Getting caught by the police and going to jail.",
+		"A face full of horse cum.",
+		"Free ice cream, yo.",
+		"The white half of Barack Obama.",
+		"The black half of Barack Obama.",
+		"An inability to form meaningful relationships.",
+		"A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.",
+		"Growing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness.",
+		"Shitting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl.",
+		"A buttload of candy.",
+		"Sucking all the milk out of a yak.",
+		"Bullets.",
+		"A man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle.",
+		"Sudden penis loss.",
+		"Getting all offended.",
+		"Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti.",
+		"One unforgettable night of passion.",
+		"Being popular and good at sports.",
+		"Filling a man's anus with concrete.",
+		"Two whales fucking the shit out of eachother.",
+		"Cool, relateable cancer teens.",
+		"The amount of gay I am.",
+		"A possible Muslim.",
+		"Unsheathing my massive horse cock.",
+		"A bowl of gourds.",
+		"The male gaze.",
+		"The power of the Dark Side.",
+		"Ripping a dog in half.",
+		"A constant need for validation.",
+		"Meaningless sex.",
+		"Such a big boy.",
+		"Throwing stones at a man until he dies.",
+		"Cancer.",
+		"Like a million alligators.",
+		"Eating together like a god damn family for once.",
+		"Cute boys.",
+		"Pussy.",
+		"Being a terrible mother.",
+		"Never having sex again.",
+		"A pizza guy who fucked up.",
+		"A whole lotta woman.",
+		"The all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing!",
+		"A peyote-fueled vision quest.",
+		"Kale.",
+		"Breastfeeding a ten year old.",
+		"Crippling social anxiety.",
+		"Immortality cream.",
+		"Texas.",
+		"Teaching a girl how to handjob the penis.",
+		"A turd.",
+		"Shapes and colors.",
+		"Whatever you wish, mother.",
+		"The haunting stare of an Iraqi child.",
+		"Robots who just want to party.",
+		"A self-microwaving burrito.",
+		"Forgetting grandma's first name.",
+		"Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers&reg;!",
+		"Treasures beyond your wildest dreams.",
+		"Getting shot out of a cannon.",
+		"The sweet song of sword against and the braying of mighty war beasts.",
+		"Walking into a glass door.",
+		"The color \"puce\".",
+		"Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body.",
+		"The eighth graders.",
+		"Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio.",
+		"The dentist.",
+		"Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.",
+		"Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels.",
+		"Rabies.",
+		"Important news about Taylor Swift.",
+		"Ejaculating inside another man's wife.",
+		"Owls, the perfect predator.",
+		"Being John Malkovich.",
+		"Bathing in moonsblood and dancing around the ancient oak.",
+		"An oppressed people with a vibrant culture.",
+		"An overwhelming variety of cheeses.",
+		"Reading the entire End-User License Agreement.",
+		"Morpheus.",
+		"Peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby.",
+		"Generally having no idea of what's going on.",
+		"No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.",
+		"10 football players with erections barreling towards you at full speed.",
+		"10,000 shrieking teenage girls.",
+		"A big ol' plate of fettuccine alfredo.",
+		"A big, beautiful mouth packed to the brim with sparkling teeth.",
+		"A black friend.",
+		"A burrito that's just sour cream.",
+		"A cheerfulness that belies a deep-seated self-loathing.",
+		"A cold and indifferent universe.",
+		"A creature made of penises that must constantly arouse itself to survive.",
+		"A creepy child singing a nursery rhyme.",
+		"A dolphin that learns to talk and becomes the Dead of Harvard Law School.",
+		"A duffel bag full of lizards.",
+		"A finger up the butt.",
+		"A genetic predisposition for alcoholism.",
+		"A gun that shoots cobras.",
+		"A hug.",
+		"A long business meeting with no obvious purpose.",
+		"A man in a suit with perfect hair who tells you beautiful lies.",
+		"A man with the head of a goat and the body of a goat.",
+		"A massive collection of child pornography.",
+		"A medium horchata.",
+		"A negative body image that is totally justified.",
+		"A slowly encroaching circle of wolves.",
+		"A strong horse and enough rations for thirty days.",
+		"A terrified fat child who won't come out of the bushes.",
+		"A tiny fireman who puts out tiny fires.",
+		"A weird guy who says weird stuff and weirds me out.",
+		"A woman's right to choose.",
+		"A woman's perspective.",
+		"Aborting the shit out of a fetus.",
+		"Albert Einstein but if he had a huge muscles and a rhinoceros cock.",
+		"All these people I've killed.",
+		"An arrangement wherein I give a person money they have sex with me.",
+		"An empowered woman.",
+		"An incurable homosexual.",
+		"An old dog full of tumors.",
+		"An older man.",
+		"An X-Man whose power is that he has sex with dogs and children.",
+		"Anal.",
+		"Antidepressants.",
+		"Art.",
+		"Assassinating the president.",
+		"Awesome pictures of planets and stuff.",
+		"Bad emotions I don't want.",
+		"Becoming the President of the United States.",
+		"Being sexually attracted to children.",
+		"Being turned into sausages.",
+		"Beyonc&eacute;.",
+		"Big, smart money boys tap-tapping on their keyboards.",
+		"Blossoming into a beautiful young woman.",
+		"Breastfeeding in public like a radiant earth goddess.",
+		"Brunch.",
+		"Catching a live salmon in your mouth.",
+		"Child labor.",
+		"China.",
+		"Chipotle.",
+		"Chris Hemsworth.",
+		"Comprehensive immigration reform.",
+		"Condoleezza Rice.",
+		"Consensual, nonreproductive incest.",
+		"Content.",
+		"Crazy anal orgasms.",
+		"Creamy slices of real, California avocado.",
+		"Critical thinking.",
+		"Crushing the patriarchy.",
+		"Daddy going away forever.",
+		"Defeating a gorilla in single combat.",
+		"Denying the Holocaust.",
+		"Dis bitch.",
+		"Discovering that what I really want in life is to kill people and have sex with their corpses.",
+		"Doing a somersault and barfing.",
+		"Dominating a man by peeing on his eldest son.",
+		"Doritos and a Fruit Roll-Up.",
+		"Dropping dead in a Sbarro's bathroom and not being found for 72 hours.",
+		"Dumpster juice.",
+		"Eating ass.",
+		"Eating people.",
+		"Eating too many Cinnabons and then vomiting and then eating the vomit.",
+		"Ejaculating at the apex of a cartwheel.",
+		"Esmeralda, my most beautiful daughter.",
+		"Eternal screaming madness.",
+		"Every man's ultimate fantasy: a perfectly cylindrical vagina.",
+		"Everything.",
+		"Exploring each other's buttholes.",
+		"Facilitating dialogue and deconstructing binaries.",
+		"Falling into a pit of waffles.",
+		"Farting a huge shit out of my pussy.",
+		"Farting all over my face with your tight little asshole.",
+		"Feeling the emotion of anger.",
+		"Feminism.",
+		"Film roles for actresses over 40.",
+		"Finding a nice elevator to poop in.",
+		"Forty-five minutes of finger blasting.",
+		"Founding a major world religion.",
+		"Fucking me good and taking me to Red Lobster&reg;.",
+		"Fucking my therapist.",
+		"Gary.",
+		"Gay thoughts.",
+		"Gayle from HR.",
+		"Gazpacho.",
+		"Getting aborted.",
+		"Getting blasted in the face by a t-shirt cannon.",
+		"Getting eaten out by a dog.",
+		"Getting high with mom.",
+		"Getting killed and dragged up a tree by a leopard.",
+		"Getting laid like all the time.",
+		"Getting naked too soon.",
+		"Getting pegged.",
+		"Getting the Dorito crumbs out of my purse.",
+		"Getting this party started!",
+		"Getting trapped in a conversation about Ayn Rand.",
+		"Going around pulling people's tampons out.",
+		"Going to bed at a reasonable hour.",
+		"Gregor, my largest son.",
+		"Grunting for ten minutes and then peeing sand.",
+		"Guns.",
+		"Happy daddies with happy sandals.",
+		"Hating Jews.",
+		"Having a vagina.",
+		"Having an awesome time drinking and driving.",
+		"Having sex with a beautiful person.",
+		"Having sex with a man and then eating his head.",
+		"Having sex with your mom.",
+		"Holding the proper political beliefs of my time to attract a mate.",
+		"Homework.",
+		"Hot lettuce.",
+		"How good lead paint taste.",
+		"How great my ass looks in these jeans.",
+		"How sad it will be when Morgan Freeman dies.",
+		"How strange it is to be anything at all.",
+		"Huge big balls full of jizz.",
+		"Informing you that I am a registered sex offender.",
+		"ISIS.",
+		"It being too late to stop having sex with a horse.",
+		"Jason, the teen mayor.",
+		"Jazz.",
+		"Just now finding out about the Armenian Genocide.",
+		"Late-stage dementia.",
+		"Libertarians.",
+		"Loud, scary thunder.",
+		"Making out and stuff.",
+		"Math.",
+		"Meatloaf, the food.",
+		"Meatloaf, the man.",
+		"Menopause.",
+		"Mental illness.",
+		"Microaggressions.",
+		"Misogyny.",
+		"Mixing M&Ms and Skittles like some kind of psychopath.",
+		"Mommy and daddy fighting all the time.",
+		"Moon people.",
+		"Muchin' puss.",
+		"My brother's hot friends.",
+		"My dog dying.",
+		"My huge penis and substantial fortune.",
+		"Objectifying women.",
+		"One of them big-city Jew lawyers.",
+		"One of those \"blow jobs\" I've been hearing so much about.",
+		"Onions.",
+		"Opening your mouth to talk and a big penis fops out.",
+		"Our baby.",
+		"Out-of-control teenage blowjob parties.",
+		"Overthrowing the democratically-elected government of Chile.",
+		"Participating.",
+		"Period poops.",
+		"Picking up a glass of water and taking a sip and being the president.",
+		"Playing my asshole like a trumpet.",
+		"Plowing that ass like a New England corn farmer.",
+		"Political correctness.",
+		"Pooping in a leotard and hoping no one notices.",
+		"Pooping in the potty.",
+		"Prematurely ejaculating like a total loser.",
+		"Pretending to be one of the guys but actually being the spider god.",
+		"Putting more black people in jail.",
+		"Quacking like a duck in lieu of a cogent argument.",
+		"Quinoa.",
+		"Raising three kids on minimum wage.",
+		"Reaching an age where barbecue chips are better than sex.",
+		"Regurgitating a half-digested sparrow.",
+		"Restoring Germany to its former glory.",
+		"Rock-hard tits and a huge vagina.",
+		"Rolling so hard.",
+		"Rubbing my bush all over your bald head.",
+		"Salsa Night at Dave's Cantina.",
+		"Scissoring, if that's a thing.",
+		"Seizing control of the means of production.",
+		"Self-identifying as a DJ.",
+		"Showing all the boys my pussy.",
+		"Slamming a dunk.",
+		"Smashing my balls at the moment of climax.",
+		"Some of that good dick.",
+		"Some real spicy shrimps.",
+		"Starting a shitty podcast.",
+		"Straight blazin' 24\/7.",
+		"Sucking each other's penises for hours on end.",
+		"Sudden and unwanted slam poetry.",
+		"Swearing praise upon the Sultan's hideous daughters.",
+		"Systems and policies designed to preserve centuries-old power structures.",
+		"Tables.",
+		"Taking the form of a falcon.",
+		"Tender chunks of all-white-meat chicken.",
+		"That bitch, Stacy.",
+		"The amount of baby carrots I can fit up my ass.",
+		"The best, deepest quotes from The Dark Knight.",
+		"The body of a 46-year-old man.",
+		"The bond between a woman and her horse.",
+		"The chicken from Popeyes&reg;.",
+		"The clown that followed me home from the grocery store.",
+		"The fear and hatred in men's hearts.",
+		"The feeling of going to McDonald's as a 6-year-old.",
+		"The flaming wreckage of the International Space Station.",
+		"The full blown marginalization of ugly people.",
+		"The full force of the American military.",
+		"The government.",
+		"The graceful path of an autumn leaf as it falls to its earthen cradle.",
+		"The hottest MILF in Dallas.",
+		"The LGBT community.",
+		"The lived experience of African Americans.",
+		"The mysterious fog rolling into town.",
+		"The ol' penis-in-the-popcorn surprise.",
+		"The Rwandan Genocide.",
+		"The secret to truly resilient hair.",
+		"The sweet, forbidden meat of the monkey.",
+		"The wind.",
+		"Thinking about what eating even is.",
+		"Three hours of nonstop penetration.",
+		"Tiny, rancid girl farts.",
+		"Trees.",
+		"Trevor, the world's greatest boyfriend.",
+		"Turning 32.",
+		"Twenty bucks.",
+		"Twenty cheerleaders laughing at your tiny penis.",
+		"Twisting my cock and balls into a balloon poodle.",
+		"Two beautiful pig sisters.",
+		"Two shitty kids and a garbage husband.",
+		"Waking up inside of a tornado.",
+		"Watching a hot person eat.",
+		"Watching you die.",
+		"Water.",
+		"When the big truck goes \"Toot! Toot!\"",
+		"Who really did 9\/11.",
+		"Whomsoever let the dogs out.",
+		"Whooping your ass at Mario Kart.",
+		"Working so hard to have muscles and then having them.",
+		"You.",
+		"Several Michael Keatons.",
+		"A bus that will explode if it goes under 50 miles per hour.",
+		"Sucking the President's dick.",
+		"Sunny D! Alright!",
+		"A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, and my libido.",
+		"Log&trade;.",
+		"Jerking off to a 10-second RealMedia clip.",
+		"The Y2K bug.",
+		"Deregulating the mortgage market.",
+		"Stabbing the shit out of a Capri Sun.",
+		"Wearing Nicolas Cage's face.",
+		"Freeing Willy.",
+		"Kurt Cobain's death.",
+		"The Great Cornholio.",
+		"Liking big butts and not being able to lie about it.",
+		"Yelling \"girl power!\" and doing a high kick.",
+		"Pure Moods, Vol. 1.",
+		"Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time.",
+		"Pamela Anderson's boobs running in slow motion.",
+		"Getting caught up in the CROSSFIRE&trade;.",
+		"Angels interfering in an otherwise fair baseball game.",
+		"Cool 90s up-in-the-front hair.",
+		"Patti Mayonnaise.",
+		"The biggest, blackest dick.",
+		"A box within a box.",
+		"A boxing match with a giant box.",
+		"A box.",
+		"Pandora's vagina.",
+		"Former President George W. Box.",
+		"Being a motherfucking box.",
+		"A falcon with a box on its head.",
+		"Two midgets shitting into a box.",
+		"A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid.",
+		"The J15 Patriot Assault Box.",
+		"An alternate universe in which boxes store things inside of people.",
+		"A box that is conscious and wishes it weren't a box.",
+		"Something that looks like a box but turns out to be a crate.",
+		"A man-shaped box.",
+		"A box-shaped man.",
+		"Boxing up my feelings.",
+		"A world without boxes.",
+		"The Boxcar Children.",
+		"An outbreak of smallbox.",
+		"A box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer.",
+		"A CGI dragon.",
+		"A dwarf who won't leave you alone until you compare penis sizes.",
+		"A gay sorcerer who turns everyone gay.",
+		"A ghoul.",
+		"A Hitachi Magic Wand.",
+		"A magical kingdom with dragons and elves and no black people.",
+		"A mysterious, floating orb.",
+		"A weed elemental who gets everyone high.",
+		"Accidentally conjuring a legless horse that can't stop ejaculating.",
+		"Bathing naked in a moonlit grove.",
+		"Dinosaurs who wear armor and you ride them and they kick ass.",
+		"Eternal darkness.",
+		"Freaky, pan-dimensional sex with a demigod.",
+		"Gender equality.",
+		"Going on an epic adventure and learning a valuable lesson about friendship.",
+		"Handcuffing a wizard to a radiator and dousing him with kerosene.",
+		"Hodor.",
+		"How hot Orlando Bloom was in <i>Lord of the Rings<\/i>.",
+		"Kneeing a wizard in the balls.",
+		"Make-believe stories for autistic white men,",
+		"Reading The Hobbit under the covers while mom and dad scream at each other downstairs.",
+		"Shitting in a wizard's spell book and jizzing in his hat.",
+		"Shooting a wizard with a gun.",
+		"The all-seeing Eye of Sauron.",
+		"The card game Neil Gaiman wrote: \"Three elves at a time.\"",
+		"True love's kiss.",
+		"A sobering quantity of chili cheese fries.",
+		"Going vegetarian and feeling so great all the time.",
+		"Kale farts.",
+		"Licking the cake batter off of grandma's fingers.",
+		"Real cheese flavor.",
+		"Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man.",
+		"The Dial-A-Slice Apple Divider from Williams-Sonoma.",
+		"What to do with all of this chocolate on my penis.",
+		"A belly full of hard-boiled eggs.",
+		"A joyless vegan patty.",
+		"A table for one at The Cheesecake Factory.",
+		"Being emotionally and physically dominated by Gordon Ramsay.",
+		"Kevin Bacon Bits.",
+		"Not knowing what to believe anymore about butter.",
+		"Soup that's better than pussy.",
+		"Sucking down thousands of pounds of krill every day.",
+		"A Mexican child trapped inside of a burrito.",
+		"Clamping down on a gazelle's jugular and tasting its warm life waters.",
+		"Committing suicide at the Old Country Buffet.",
+		"Father's forbidden chocolates.",
+		"Jizz Twinkies.",
+		"The Hellman's Mayonnaise Corporation.",
+		"The hot dog I put in my vagina ten days ago.",
+		"The inaudible screams of carrots.",
+		"A supermassive black hole.",
+		"Reconciling quantum theory with general relativity.",
+		"Electroejaculating a capuchin monkey.",
+		"Insufficient serotonin.",
+		"Evolving a labyrinthine vagina.",
+		"Getting really worried about global warming for a few seconds.",
+		"Infinity.",
+		"Oxytocin release via manual stimulation of the nipples.",
+		"Uranus.",
+		"Being knowledgeable in a narrow domain that nobody understands or cares about.",
+		"Achieving reproductive success.",
+		"Slowly evaporating.",
+		"The quiet majesty of the sea turtle.",
+		"A 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio.",
+		"Fun and interesting facts about rocks.",
+		"Photosynthesis.",
+		"Developing secondary sex characteristics.",
+		"Failing the Turing test.",
+		"Explosive decompression.",
+		"Driving into a tornado to learn about tornadoes.",
+		"David Attenborough watching us mate.",
+		"3.7 billion years of evolution.",
+		"The Sun engulfing the Earth.",
+		"A complete inability to understand anyone else's perspective.",
+		"A fun, sexy time at the nude beach.",
+		"A man from Craigslist.",
+		"A night of Taco Bell and anal sex.",
+		"A respectful discussion of race and gender on the Internet.",
+		"Cat massage.",
+		"Destroying Dick Cheney's last horcrux.",
+		"<i>Game of Thrones<\/i> spoilers.",
+		"Getting teabagged by a fifth grader in Call of Duty.",
+		"Goats screaming like people.",
+		"Googling.",
+		"Internet porn analysis paralysis.",
+		"Matching with Mom on Tinder.",
+		"My browser history.",
+		"My privileged white penis.",
+		"Pretending to be black.",
+		"Smash Mouth.",
+		"Taking a shit while running at full speed.",
+		"That thing on the Internet everyone's talking about.",
+		"Three years of semen in a shoebox.",
+		"YouTube comments.",
+		"The Bernie Sanders revolution.",
+		"Letting Bernie Sanders rest his world-weary head on your lap.",
+		"A beautiful, ever-expanding circle of inclusivity that will never include Republicans.",
+		"Black lives mattering.",
+		"Donald Trump holding his nose while he eats pussy.",
+		"The fact that Hillary Clinton is a woman.",
+		"Kicking the middle class in the balls with a regressive tax code.",
+		"Keeping the government out of my vagina.",
+		"The systematic disenfranchisement of black voters.",
+		"Increasing economic and political polarization",
+		"Eating the president's pussy.",
+		"Actually voting for Donald Trump to be President of the actual United States.",
+		"A liberal bias.",
+		"Hating Hillary Clinton.",
+		"Growing up and becoming a Republican.",
+		"Courageously going ahead with that racist comment.",
+		"Dispelling this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing.",
+		"Jeb!",
+		"The good, hardworking people of Dubuque, Iowa.",
+		"Conservative talking points.",
+		"Shouting the loudest",
+		"Sound of fiscal policy.",
+		"Full-on socialism.",
+		"A legitimate reason to commit suicide.",
+		"A back-alley abortion from a Mexican cyborg doctor.",
+		"Whipping lower-class white men into a xenophobic frenzy.",
+		"Rage.",
+		"Trying to remember what music was.",
+		"Roaming through a wasteland of windblown trash and deserted highways.",
+		"Bringing millions of dangerous low-paying manufacturing jobs back to America.",
+		"A gnawing sense of dread.",
+		"Drinking urine to survive.",
+		"Nuclear winter.",
+		"President Donald Trump.",
+		"Casual dismissiveness.",
+		"Extra rations for my little girl.",
+		"World Wars 3 through 5.",
+		"Finding out that democracy might not be such a great idea.",
+		"Mild amusement.",
+		"Burying my only son.",
+		"The purging of the disloyal.",
+		"Trying to wake up from this nightmare.",
+		"A father and son fighting each other over the last scrap of bread.",
+		"Making Islam illegal.",
+		"Desperately hurling insults at Donald Trump as he absorbs them into his rapidly expanding body.",
+		"Santa's heavy sack.",
+		"Clearing a bloody path through Walmart with a scimitar.",
+		"Another shitty year.",
+		"Whatever Kwanzaa is supposed to be about.",
+		"A Christmas stocking full of coleslaw.",
+		"Elf cum.",
+		"The tiny, calloused hands of the Chinese children that made this card.",
+		"Taking down Santa with a surface-to-air missle.",
+		"Several intertwining love stories featuring Hugh Grant.",
+		"Mall Santa.",
+		"My hot cousin.",
+		"The Star Wars Holiday Special.",
+		"Krampus, the Austrian Christmas monster.",
+		"Pretending to be happy.",
+		"Socks. ",
+		"Eating an entire snowman.",
+		"A toxic family environment.",
+		"A visually arresting turtleneck.",
+		"Fucking up \"Silent Night\" in front of 300 parents.",
+		"Immaculate conception.",
+		"Space Jam on VHS.",
+		"Gift-wrapping a live hamster.",
+		"A Hungry-Man&trade; Frozen Christmas Dinner for One.",
+		"Swapping bodies with mom for a day.",
+		"Making up for 10 years of shitty parenting with a PlayStation.",
+		"Finding out that Santa isn't real.",
+		"Slicing a ham in icy silence.",
+		"The shittier, Jewish version of Christmas.",
+		"The Hawaiian goddess Kapo and her flying detachable vagina.",
+		"Having a strong opinion about Obamacare.",
+		"The royal afterbirth.",
+		"Congress's flaccid penises withering away beneath their suit pants.",
+		"Piece of shit Christmas cards with no money in them.",
+		"Moses gargling Jesus's balls while Shiva and the Buddha penetrate his divine hand holes.",
+		"Giving money and personal information to strangers on the Internet.",
+		"These low, low prices!",
+		"A magical tablet containing a world of unlimited pornography.",
+		"People with cake in their mouths talking about how good cake is.",
+		"Jizzing into Santa's beard.",
+		"A simultaneous nightmare and wet dream starring Sigourney Weaver.",
+		"Being blind and deaf and having no limbs.",
+		"Rudolph's bright red balls.",
+		"The Grinch's musty, cum-stained pelt.",
+		"Breeding elves for their priceless semen.",
+		"Paying the iron price.",
+		"Jiggle physics.",
+		"Rotating shapes in mid-air so that they fit into other shapes when they fall.",
+		"Firefly: Season 2.",
+		"Getting bitch slapped by Dhalsim.",
+		"Casting Magic Missile at a bully.",
+		"Running out of stamina.",
+		"An immediately regrettable $9 hot dog from the Boston Convention Center.",
+		"The rocket launcher.",
+		"Sharpening a foam broadsword on a foam whetstone.",
+		"Loading from a previous save.",
+		"The depression that ensues after catching 'em all.",
+		"Violating the First Law of Robotics.",
+		"Getting inside the Horadric Cube with a hot babe and pressing the transmute button.",
+		"Punching a tree to gather wood.",
+		"Spending the year's insulin budget on Warhammer 40k figurines.",
+		"Forgetting to eat, and consequently dying.",
+		"Wil Wheaton crashing an actual spaceship.",
+		"The Klobb.",
+		"Charging up all the way.",
+		"Vespene gas.",
+		"Judging elves by the color of their skin and not by the content of their character.",
+		"Smashing all the pottery in a Pottery Barn in search of rupees.",
+		"Achieving 500 actions per minute.",
+		"Full HD.",
+		"The gravity gun.",
+		"Reading the comments.",
+		"70,000 gamers sweating and farting inside an airtight steel dome.",
+		"The Cock Ring of Alacrity.",
+		"Yoshi's huge egg-laying cloaca.",
+		"A homemade, cum-stained Star Trek uniform.",
+		"Offering sexual favors for an ore and a sheep.",
+		"Mario Kart rage.",
+		"Bowser's aching heart.",
+		"An angry stone head that stomps on the floor every three seconds.",
+		"Nude-modding Super Mario World.",
+		"Temporary invincibility.",
+		"Being an attractive elf trapped in an unattractive human's body.",
+		"Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt&trade; with pizza.",
+		"The Sarlacc.",
+		"Achieving the manual dexterity and tactical brilliance of a 12-year-old Korean boy.",
+		"Allowing nacho cheese to curdle in your beard while you creep in League of Legends.",
+		"The collective wail of every Magic player suddenly realizing that they've spent hundreds of dollars on pieces of cardboard.",
+		"Rolling a D20 to save a failing marriage.",
+		"Legendary Creature &ndash; Robert Khoo.",
+		"Winning the approval of Cooking Mama that you never got from actual mama.",
+		"Never watching, discussing, or thinking about My Little Pony.",
+		"Turn-of-the-century sky racists.",
+		"Unlocking a new sex position.",
+		"The boner hatch in the Iron Man suit.",
+		"Buying virtual clothes for a Sim family instead of real clothes for a real family.",
+		"Google Glass + e-cigarette: Ultimate Combo!",
+		"The decade of legal inquests following a single hour of Grand Theft Auto.",
+		"A fully-dressed female videogame character.",
+		"Getting into a situation with an owlbear.",
+		"Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam!",
+		"Tapping Sara Angel.",
+		"Eating a pizza that's lying on the street to gain health.",
+		"SNES cartridge cleaning fluid.",
+		"A madman who lives in a policebox and kidnaps women.",
+		"Grand Theft Auto: Fort Lauderdale.",
+		"Mistakenly hitting on a <i>League of Legends<\/i> statue.",
+		"Ser Jorah Mormont's cerulean-blue balls.",
+		"The old gods.",
+		"Stuffing my balls into a Sega Genesis and pressing the power button.",
+		"Attacking from Kamchatka.",
+		"Separate drinking fountains for dark elves.",
+		"Lagging out.",
+		"Getting bitten by a radioactive spider and then battling leukemia for 30 years.",
+		"A giant mechanical bird with a tragic backstory.",
+		"The pure, Zen-like state that exists between micro and macro.",
+		"Xena,<br>Warrior Princess.",
+		"Endless ninjas.",
+		"Whatever <i>Final Fantasy<\/i> bullshit happened this year.",
+		"Collecting all seven power crystals.",
+		"KHAAAAAAAAAN!",
+		"Futuristic death sports.",
+		"The imagination of Peter Jackson.",
+		"Demons and shit.",
+		"All of the good times and premium gaming entertainment available to you in the Kickstarter room.",
+		"A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else.",
+		"Taking 2d6 emotional damage.",
+		"The Star Wars Universe.",
+		"Exciting content!",
+		"Rubbing chocolate pudding all over Bill Cosby's nipples.",
+		"What The Rock was really cooking.",
+		"Stepping on a god damn friggin' LEGO.",
+		"All this liquid in my mouth.",
+		"Giving a dolphin a handjob for science.",
+		"A floor that is literally made of lava.",
+		"A neck beard that is 10% cheese.",
+		"Pelvic sorcery.",
+		"Pooping as quietly as possible.",
+		"The beautiful sport of Turkish oil wrestling.",
+		"No survivors.",
+		"Go Fuck Yourself.",
+		"Forcing a handjob on a dying man. ",
+		"A homoerotic subplot.",
+		"An origami swan that's some kind of symbol?",
+		"25 shitty jokes about House of Cards.",
+		"My constituents.",
+		"Punching a congressman in the face.",
+		"Strangling a dog to make a point to the audience.",
+		"A childless marriage.",
+		"A much younger woman.",
+		"Getting eaten out while on the phone with Dad.",
+		"Making it look like a suicide.",
+		"Carbon monoxide poisoning. ",
+		"Discharging a firearm in a residential area.",
+		"Ribs so good they transcend race and class.",
+		"The sensitive European photographer who's fucking my wife.",
+		"My dick in your mouth.",
+		"Corn.",
+		"Carribbean Jesus.",
+		"Super yoga.",
+		"Ladles.",
+		"Ejaculating a pound of tinsel.",
+		"A heart that is two sizes too small and that therefore cannot pump an adequate amount of blood.",
+		"The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation.",
+		"Dividing by zero.",
+		"Playing an ocarina to summon Ultra-Congress from the sea.",
+		"Asshole pomegranates that are hard to eat.",
+		"Becoming so rich that you shed your body and turn to vapor.",
+		"Faking a jellyfish sting so someone will pee on you.",
+		"A sexy naked interactive theater thing.",
+		"A giant squid in a wedding gown.",
+		"Crawling into a vagina.",
+		"A dick so big and so black that not even light can escape its pull.",
+		"A double murder suicide barbeque.",
+		"A primordial soup and salad bar.",
+		"A stack of bunnies in a trenchcoat.",
+		"At least three ducks.",
+		"Becoming engorged with social justice jelly and secreting a thinkpiece.",
+		"Being the absolute worst.",
+		"Disco Mussolini.",
+		"Greg Kinnear's terrible lightning breath.",
+		"Mitt Romney's eight sons Kip, Sam, Trot, Fergis, Toolshed, Grisham, Hawkeye, and Thorp.",
+		"Mr. and Mrs. Tambourine Man's jingle-jangle morning sex.",
+		"Mushy tushy.",
+		"Ringo Starr & His All-Starr Band.",
+		"Sandwich.",
+		"Saving the Rainforest Cafe.",
+		"Sir Thomas More's Fruitopia&trade;.",
+		"Sweating it out on the streets of a runaway American Dream.",
+		"That one leftover screw.",
+		"That thing politicians do with their thumbs when they talk.",
+		"The spooky skeleton under my skin.",
+		"The token lesbian.",
+		"These dolphins.",
+		"Three hairs from the silver-golden head of Galadriel.",
+		"Water so cold it turned into a rock.",
+		"Poutine.",
+		"Newfies.",
+		"The Official Languages Act. La Loi sur les langues officielles.",
+		"Terry Fox's prosthetic leg.",
+		"The FLQ.",
+		"Canada: America's Hat.",
+		"Don Cherry's wardrobe.",
+		"Burning down the White House.",
+		"Heritage minutes.",
+		"Homo milk.",
+		"Naked News.",
+		"Mr. Dressup.",
+		"Syrupy sex with a maple tree.",
+		"Being Canadian.",
+		"Snotsicles.",
+		"The Famous Five.",
+		"Schmirler the Curler.",
+		"Stephen Harper.",
+		"A Molson muscle.",
+		"The Royal Canadian Mounted Police.",
+		"An icy handjob from an Edmonton hooker.",
+		"eat pant."
+	]
+}
diff --git a/commands/games/cards-against-humanity.js b/commands/games/cards-against-humanity.js
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..d38ef58a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/commands/games/cards-against-humanity.js
@@ -0,0 +1,132 @@
+const { Command } = require('discord.js-commando');
+const { Collection, escapeMarkdown } = require('discord.js');
+const { stripIndents } = require('common-tags');
+const { awaitPlayers } = require('../../util/Util');
+const { blackCards, whiteCards } = require('../../assets/json/cards-against-humanity');
+
+module.exports = class CardsAgainstHumanityCommand extends Command {
+	constructor(client) {
+		super(client, {
+			name: 'cards-against-humanity',
+			aliases: ['crude-cards', 'pretend-youre-xyzzy'],
+			group: 'games',
+			memberName: 'cards-against-humanity',
+			description: 'Play a game of Cards Against Humanity.',
+			guildOnly: true,
+			args: [
+				{
+					key: 'maxPts',
+					label: 'maximum amount of points',
+					prompt: 'What amount of points should determine the winner?',
+					type: 'integer',
+					min: 1,
+					max: 20
+				}
+			]
+		});
+
+		this.playing = new Set();
+	}
+
+	async run(msg, { maxPts }) {
+		if (this.playing.has(msg.channel.id)) return msg.reply('Only one game may be occurring per channel.');
+		this.playing.add(msg.channel.id);
+		try {
+			await msg.say('You will need at least 2 more players, at maximum 20. To join, type `join game`.');
+			const awaitedPlayers = await awaitPlayers(msg, 20, 3);
+			const players = new Map();
+			let i = 1;
+			for (const player of awaitedPlayers) {
+				const cards = new Set();
+				for (let j = 0; j < 5; j++) cards.add(whiteCards[Math.floor(Math.random() * whiteCards.length)]);
+				players.set(i, {
+					id: i,
+					user: player,
+					points: 0,
+					hand: cards
+				});
+				await player.send('Testing...');
+				i++;
+			}
+			let czars = Array.from(players.values());
+			let winner = null;
+			while (!winner) {
+				const czar = czars[0];
+				czars.push(czar);
+				czars.shift();
+				const black = blackCards[Math.floor(Math.random() * blackCards.length)];
+				await msg.say(stripIndents`
+					The card czar will be ${czar.user.username}!
+					The black card is: ${escapeMarkdown(black.text)}
+					Sending DMs...
+				`);
+				const chosenCards = new Collection();
+				for (const player of players) {
+					player.hand.add(whiteCards[Math.floor(Math.random() * whiteCards.length)]);
+					if (player.hand.size < black.pick) {
+						await player.user.send('You don\'t have enough cards!');
+						continue;
+					}
+					await player.user.send(stripIndents`
+						Your hand is:
+						${Array.from(player.hand).join('\n')}
+
+						The black card is; ${escapeMarkdown(black.text)}
+						The card czar is: ${czar.user.username}
+						Pick ${black.pick} cards!
+					`);
+					const chosen = [];
+					const filter = res => {
+						if (chosen.includes(res.content)) return false;
+						if (!player.hand.has(res.content)) return false;
+						player.hand.delete(res.content);
+						chosen.push(res.content);
+						return true;
+					};
+					const choices = await player.user.dmChannel.awaitMessages(filter, {
+						max: black.pick,
+						time: 30000
+					});
+					if (!choices.size || choices.size < black.pick) {
+						await player.user.send('Skipping your turn...');
+						continue;
+					}
+					chosenCards.set(player.id, {
+						id: player.id,
+						cards: chosen
+					});
+				}
+				if (!chosenCards.length) {
+					await msg.say('Hmm... No one even tried.');
+					break;
+				}
+				await msg.say(stripIndents`
+					${czar}, which cards do you pick?
+					${chosenCards.map(card => `**${card.id}.** ${card.cards.join(', ')}`)}
+				`);
+				const filter = res => {
+					if (res.author.id !== czar.user.id) return false;
+					if (!chosenCards.map(card => card.id).includes(parseInt(res.content, 10))) return false;
+					return true;
+				};
+				const chosen = await msg.channel.awaitMessages(filter, {
+					max: 1,
+					time: 30000
+				});
+				if (!chosen.size) {
+					await msg.say('Hmm... No one wins.');
+					continue;
+				}
+				const player = parseInt(chosen.first().content, 10);
+				++players.get(player).points;
+				if (players.get(player).points > maxPts) winner = players.get(player).user;
+			}
+			this.playing.delete(msg.channel.id);
+			if (!winner) return msg.say('See you next time!');
+			return msg.say(`And the winner is... ${winner}! Great job!`);
+		} catch (err) {
+			this.playing.delete(msg.channel.id);
+			return msg.reply(`Oh no, an error occurred: \`${err.message}\`. Try again later!`);
+		}
+	}
+};
diff --git a/commands/games/wizard-convention.js b/commands/games/wizard-convention.js
index d956bed4..94dd35d0 100644
--- a/commands/games/wizard-convention.js
+++ b/commands/games/wizard-convention.js
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 const { Command } = require('discord.js-commando');
 const { Collection } = require('discord.js');
 const { stripIndents } = require('common-tags');
-const { shuffle, wait } = require('../../util/Util');
+const { shuffle, wait, awaitPlayers } = require('../../util/Util');
 const { questions, stories } = require('../../assets/json/wizard-convention');
 
 module.exports = class WizardConventionCommand extends Command {
@@ -22,35 +22,20 @@ module.exports = class WizardConventionCommand extends Command {
 		this.playing.add(msg.channel.id);
 		try {
 			await msg.say('You will need at least 2 more players, at maximum 15. To join, type `join game`.');
-			const joined = [];
-			joined.push(msg.author.id);
-			const filter = res => {
-				if (joined.includes(res.author.id)) return false;
-				if (res.content.toLowerCase() !== 'join game') return false;
-				joined.push(res.author.id);
-				return true;
-			};
-			const verify = await msg.channel.awaitMessages(filter, {
-				max: 15,
-				time: 30000
-			});
-			if (verify.size < 2) {
-				this.playing.delete(msg.channel.id);
-				return msg.say('Failed to start the game...');
-			}
+			const awaitedPlayers = await awaitPlayers(msg, 15, 3);
+			if (!awaitedPlayers) return msg.say('Game could not be started...');
 			let roles = ['dragon', 'healer', 'mind reader'];
-			for (let i = 0; i < (verify.size - 2); i++) roles.push(`pleb ${i + 1}`);
+			for (let i = 0; i < (awaitedPlayers.length - 2); i++) roles.push(`pleb ${i + 1}`);
 			roles = shuffle(roles);
-			verify.set(msg.id, msg);
 			const players = new Collection();
 			let i = 1;
-			for (const message of verify.values()) {
+			for (const player of awaitedPlayers) {
 				players.set(i, {
 					id: i,
-					user: message.author,
+					user: player,
 					role: roles[i - 1]
 				});
-				await message.author.send(`Your role will be: ${roles[i - 1]}!`);
+				await player.send(`Your role will be: ${roles[i - 1]}!`);
 				i++;
 			}
 			let turn = 1;
@@ -65,8 +50,8 @@ module.exports = class WizardConventionCommand extends Command {
 						${questions[player.role]} Please type the number.
 						${valid.map(p => `**${p.id}.** ${p.user.tag}`).join('\n')}
 					`);
-					const filter2 = res => valid.map(p => p.id.toString()).includes(res.content);
-					const decision = await player.user.dmChannel.awaitMessages(filter2, {
+					const filter = res => valid.map(p => p.id.toString()).includes(res.content);
+					const decision = await player.user.dmChannel.awaitMessages(filter, {
 						max: 1,
 						time: 30000
 					});
diff --git a/package.json b/package.json
index ac4486b9..1c886116 100644
--- a/package.json
+++ b/package.json
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 {
 	"name": "xiaobot",
-	"version": "52.0.0",
+	"version": "52.1.0",
 	"description": "Your personal server companion.",
 	"main": "XiaoBot.js",
 	"scripts": {
diff --git a/util/Util.js b/util/Util.js
index 10a0e496..fdac8e57 100644
--- a/util/Util.js
+++ b/util/Util.js
@@ -82,6 +82,21 @@ class Util {
 			.replace(/\[i\]|\[\/i\]/g, '*');
 	}
 
+	static async awaitPlayers(msg, max, min, { text = 'join game', time = 30000 }) {
+		const joined = [];
+		joined.push(msg.author.id);
+		const filter = res => {
+			if (joined.includes(res.author.id)) return false;
+			if (res.content.toLowerCase() !== text) return false;
+			joined.push(res.author.id);
+			return true;
+		};
+		const verify = await msg.channel.awaitMessages(filter, { max, time });
+		verify.set(msg.id, msg);
+		if (verify.size < min) return false;
+		return verify.map(message => message.author);
+	}
+
 	static async verify(channel, user, time = 30000) {
 		const filter = res => {
 			const value = res.content.toLowerCase();