random-js is cool

README.md

@@ -57,7 +57,6 @@ served over 10,000 servers with a uniquely devoted fanbase.
 * **chuck-norris**: Responds with a random Chuck Norris joke.
 * **coin**: Flips a coin.
 * **compliment**: Compliments a user.
-* **dick**: Determines your dick size.
 * **discord-email-fun-fact**: Responds with a random fun fact from the Discord emails.
 * **dog-fact**: Responds with a random dog fact.
 * **dog**: Responds with a random dog image.
@@ -84,7 +83,6 @@ served over 10,000 servers with a uniquely devoted fanbase.
 * **roast**: Roasts a user.
 * **roll**: Rolls a dice with a maximum value of your choice.
 * **security-key**: Responds with a random security key.
-* **ship**: Ships two people together.
 * **shower-thought**: Responds with a random shower thought, directly from r/Showerthoughts.
 * **user-roulette**: Randomly chooses a member of the server.
 * **would-you-rather**: Responds with a random "Would you rather ...?" question.
@@ -182,10 +180,12 @@ served over 10,000 servers with a uniquely devoted fanbase.
 ### Analyzers:
 
 * **coolness**: Determines a user's coolness.
+* **dick**: Determines your dick size.
 * **face-analyze**: Determines the age, gender, and race of a face.
 * **gender-analyze**: Determines the gender of a name.
 * **read-qr-code**: Reads a QR Code.
 * **severe-toxicity**: Determines the toxicity of text, but less sensitive to milder language.
+* **ship**: Ships two users together.
 * **toxicity**: Determines the toxicity of text.
 
 ### Games:

assets/json/coolness.json

@@ -2,11 +2,14 @@
 	"the coolest being to walk this Earth.",
 	"extremely amazingly amazing.",
 	"as cool as ice.",
+	"cooler than cool.",
 	"an extremely cool dude.",
 	"pretty sweet, not gonna lie.",
 	"okay, nothing special.",
 	"just not all that neat.",
 	"awful, honestly.",
 	"terrible in every way.",
-	"the worst thing I've ever had the displeasure of knowing."
+	"an absolute train wreck.",
+	"a horrible, horrible person.",
+	"the worst person I've ever had the displeasure of knowing."
 ]

commands/analyze/coolness.js

@@ -1,4 +1,5 @@
 const { Command } = require('discord.js-commando');
+const Random = require('random-js');
 const texts = require('../../assets/json/coolness');
 
 module.exports = class CoolnessCommand extends Command {
@@ -21,13 +22,13 @@ module.exports = class CoolnessCommand extends Command {
 
 	run(msg, { user }) {
 		const authorUser = user.id === msg.author.id;
-		const coolness = Math.round(((user.id / this.client.user.id) * 10) / 2);
 		if (user.id === this.client.user.id) return msg.reply('Me? I think I\'m the very best, like no one ever was.');
 		if (this.client.isOwner(user)) {
 			if (authorUser) return msg.reply('You\'re the best owner a bot could ask for! ❤');
 			return msg.reply(`Don't tell them I said this but I think ${user.username} smells like a sack of diapers.`);
 		}
-		const text = texts[Math.min(coolness, texts.length - 1)];
+		const random = new Random(Random.engines.mt19937().seed(user.id));
-		return msg.reply(`${authorUser ? 'You are' : `${user.username} is`} ${text}`);
+		const coolness = random.integer(0, texts.length - 1);
+		return msg.reply(`${authorUser ? 'You are' : `${user.username} is`} ${texts[coolness]}`);
 	}
 };

commands/analyze/dick.js

@@ -0,0 +1,28 @@
+const { Command } = require('discord.js-commando');
+const Random = require('random-js');
+
+module.exports = class DickCommand extends Command {
+	constructor(client) {
+		super(client, {
+			name: 'dick',
+			aliases: ['dick-size'],
+			group: 'analyze',
+			memberName: 'dick',
+			description: 'Determines your dick size.',
+			nsfw: true,
+			args: [
+				{
+					key: 'user',
+					prompt: 'What user do you want to determine the dick size of?',
+					type: 'user',
+					default: msg => msg.author
+				}
+			]
+		});
+	}
+
+	run(msg, { user }) {
+		const random = new Random(Random.engines.mt19937().seed(user.id));
+		return msg.reply(`8${'='.repeat(random.integer(0, 200))}D`);
+	}
+};

commands/analyze/ship.js

@@ -0,0 +1,32 @@
+const { Command } = require('discord.js-commando');
+const Random = require('random-js');
+
+module.exports = class ShipCommand extends Command {
+	constructor(client) {
+		super(client, {
+			name: 'ship',
+			group: 'analyze',
+			memberName: 'ship',
+			description: 'Ships two users together.',
+			args: [
+				{
+					key: 'first',
+					label: 'first user',
+					prompt: 'Who is the first user in the ship?',
+					type: 'user'
+				},
+				{
+					key: 'second',
+					label: 'second user',
+					prompt: 'Who is the second user in the ship?',
+					type: 'user'
+				}
+			]
+		});
+	}
+
+	run(msg, { first, second }) {
+		const random = new Random(Random.engines.mt19937().seed(first.id - second.id));
+		return msg.say(`I'd give ${first.username} and ${second.username} a ${random.integer(0, 100)}%!`);
+	}
+};

commands/random/dick.js

@@ -1,18 +0,0 @@
-const { Command } = require('discord.js-commando');
-
-module.exports = class DickCommand extends Command {
-	constructor(client) {
-		super(client, {
-			name: 'dick',
-			aliases: ['dick-size'],
-			group: 'random',
-			memberName: 'dick',
-			description: 'Determines your dick size.',
-			nsfw: true
-		});
-	}
-
-	run(msg) {
-		return msg.say(`8${'='.repeat(Math.floor(Math.random() * 200) + 1)}D`);
-	}
-};

commands/random/ship.js

@@ -1,32 +0,0 @@
-const { Command } = require('discord.js-commando');
-
-module.exports = class ShipCommand extends Command {
-	constructor(client) {
-		super(client, {
-			name: 'ship',
-			group: 'random',
-			memberName: 'ship',
-			description: 'Ships two people together.',
-			args: [
-				{
-					key: 'first',
-					label: 'first name',
-					prompt: 'Who is the first person in the ship?',
-					type: 'string',
-					max: 500
-				},
-				{
-					key: 'second',
-					label: 'second name',
-					prompt: 'Who is the second person in the ship?',
-					type: 'string',
-					max: 500
-				}
-			]
-		});
-	}
-
-	run(msg, { first, second }) {
-		return msg.say(`I'd give ${first} and ${second} a ${Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) + 1}%!`);
-	}
-};

package.json

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 {
 	"name": "xiao",
-	"version": "72.0.5",
+	"version": "73.0.0",
 	"description": "Your personal server companion.",
 	"main": "Xiao.js",
 	"scripts": {
@@ -41,6 +41,7 @@
 		"node-opus": "^0.2.7",
 		"pg": "^6.4.2",
 		"pg-hstore": "^2.3.2",
+		"random-js": "^1.0.8",
 		"sequelize": "^4.37.6",
 		"snekfetch": "^3.6.4",
 		"uws": "^9.147.0",