diff --git a/README.md b/README.md index 308ba121..205b8a67 100644 --- a/README.md +++ b/README.md @@ -15,7 +15,7 @@ Xiao is a Discord bot coded in JavaScript with The bot is no longer available for invite. You can self-host the bot, or use her on the [home server](https://discord.gg/sbMe32W). -## Commands (302) +## Commands (300) ### Utility: * **eval**: Executes JavaScript code. @@ -195,12 +195,10 @@ on the [home server](https://discord.gg/sbMe32W). ### Games: * **akinator**: Think about a real or fictional character, I will try to guess who it is. -* **apples-to-apples**: Compete to see who can come up with the best card to match an adjective. * **balloon-pop**: Don't let yourself be the last one to pump the balloon before it pops! * **battle**: Engage in a turn-based battle against another user or the AI. * **box-choosing**: Do you believe that there are choices in life? Taken from Higurashi Chapter 4. * **captcha-quiz**: Try to guess what the captcha says. -* **cards-against-humanity**: Compete to see who can come up with the best card to fill in the blank. * **chance**: Attempt to win with a 1 in 1000 (or your choice) chance of winning. * **emoji-emoji-revolution**: Can you type arrow emoji faster than anyone else has ever typed them before? * **fishy**: Go fishing. diff --git a/assets/json/apples-to-apples.json b/assets/json/apples-to-apples.json deleted file mode 100644 index 3ff9055b..00000000 --- a/assets/json/apples-to-apples.json +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1012 +0,0 @@ -{ - "greenCards": [ - "Absurd (ridiculous, senseless, foolish)", - "Addictive (obsessive, consuming, captivating)", - "Adorable (lovable, charming, delightful)", - "Aged (old, ancient, mature)", - "American (U.S. Citizen, Yankee, Apple Pie)", - "Ancient (elderly, old, antique)", - "Animated (lively, exuberant, spirited)", - "Annoying (irritating, bothersome, teasing)", - "Appetizing (appealing, tasty, flavorful)", - "Arrogant (egotistical, overconfident, conceited)", - "Awesome (amazing, remarkable, majestic)", - "Awkward (clumsy, bumbling, uncoordinated)", - "Believable (trustworthy, credible, convincing)", - "Bogus (fraudulent, phony, insincere)", - "Boisterous (loud, rambunctious, rowdy)", - "Bold (daring, brave, courageous)", - "Boring (dull, tedious, monotonous)", - "Bright (brilliant, radiant, shiny)", - "Brilliant (dazzling, gleaming, intelligent)", - "Busy (occupied, meddlesome, engrossed)", - "Calm (peaceful, tranquil, placid)", - "Casual (easygoing, blase, nonchalant)", - "Charismatic (alluring, magnetic, charming)", - "Charming (captivating, enchanting, fascinating)", - "Cheesy (trashy, tawdry, far-fetched)", - "Chewy (gummy, rubbery, stringy)", - "Chunky (lumpy, chubby, bumpy)", - "Classic (timeless, definitive, vintage)", - "Clean (washed, pure, tidy)", - "Clueless (unaware, oblivious, ignorant)", - "Cold (chilly, icy, aloof)", - "Colorful (vivid, brilliant, kaleidoscopic)", - "Comfortable (cozy, snug, restful)", - "Comical (funny, hilarious, amusing)", - "Complicated (difficult, complex, involved)", - "Confused (muddled, bewildered, perplexed)", - "Cool (chilly, hip, cold-blooded)", - "Corrupt (dishonest, underhanded, shady)", - "Cosmic (limitless, planetary, far out)", - "Cosmopolitan (sophisticated, urbane, well-informed)", - "Courageous (brave, gallant, dauntless)", - "Cowardly (fearful, afraid, spineless)", - "Cranky (crabby, cantankerous, grouchy)", - "Crazed (insane, wild, deranged)", - "Crazy (insane, bizarre, wacky)", - "Creative (imaginative, artistic, original)", - "Creepy (frightening, slithering, scary)", - "Cruel (mean, harsh, merciless)", - "Cuddly (loving, tender, huggable)", - "Cute (pretty, perky, delightful)", - "Dainty (delicate, fragile, thin)", - "Dangerous (risky, chancy, hazardous)", - "Dead (deceased, expired, unresponsive)", - "Deadly (fatal, lethal, murderous)", - "Delicate (dainty, tender, elegant)", - "Delicious (tasty, pleasing, appetizing)", - "Delightful (pleasing, enjoyable, charming)", - "Demanding (difficult, exacting, bothersome)", - "Depressing (dismal, gloomy, sad)", - "Desperate (frantic, headlong, reckless)", - "Dignified (stately, honorable, distinguished)", - "Dirty (unclean, soiled, impure)", - "Distinguished (dignified, extraordinary, acclaimed)", - "Disturbing (unsettling, troubling, worrisome)", - "Dramatic (exciting, sensational, theatrical)", - "Dreamy (fanciful, whimsical, heavenly)", - "Dull (boring, stupid, blunt)", - "Dysfunctional (impaired, damaged, maladjusted)", - "Earthy (unrefined, natural, crude)", - "Easy (effortless, gentle, promiscuous)", - "Eccentric (peculiar, odd, bizarre)", - "Elitist (snobbish, arrogant, smug)", - "Emotional (passionate, moving, volatile)", - "Eternal (timeless, immortal, perpetual)", - "European (of Europe, from Europe, about Europe)", - "Exciting (thrilling, breathtaking, arousing)", - "Exhausting (weakening, tiring, draining)", - "Expensive (costly, valuable, exorbitant)", - "Explosive (bursting, blasting, dangerous)", - "Exquisite (excellent, refined, flawless)", - "Extreme (exceptional, superlative, radical)", - "Fabulous (marvelous, wonderful, incredible)", - "Fake (unreal, counterfeit, deceptive)", - "Fancy (showy, ornate, decorated)", - "Fantastic (awesome, outrageous, imaginary)", - "Feminine (womanly, ladylike, unmanly)", - "Filthy (dirty, foul, unclean)", - "Flirtatious (brazen, saucy, forward)", - "Foreign (alien, unfamiliar, exotic)", - "Fragrant (aromatic, odorous, perfumed)", - "Frazzled (exhausted, frayed, worn)", - "Fresh (new, original, good)", - "Friendly (affectionate, comforting, welcoming)", - "Frightening (scary, horrifying, awesome)", - "Frivolous (trivial, silly, shallow)", - "Funky (groovy, psychedelic, hip)", - "Funny (amusing, comic, odd)", - "Furious (angry, raging, wild)", - "Fuzzy (downy, unclear, furry)", - "Glamorous (beautiful, dazzling, stylish)", - "Glitzy (flashy, showy, gaudy)", - "Global (world-wide, spherical, universal)", - "Glorious (magnificent, delightful, splendid)", - "Goody-Goody (sweet, well-behaved, virtuous)", - "Graceful (elegant, supple, limber)", - "Handsome (attractive, elegant, fine)", - "Hardworking (industrious, diligent, busy)", - "Harmful (hurtful, unhealthy, damaging)", - "Haunting (unforgettable, bewitching, unearthly)", - "Healthy (hearty, robust, wholesome)", - "Heartless (insensitive, cruel, uncaring)", - "Hilarious (funny, witty, amusing)", - "Honorable (honest, just, virtuous)", - "Hopeless (pessimistic, desperate, downhearted)", - "Horrifying (offensive, abominable, disgusting)", - "Hostile (antagonistic, aggressive, warlike)", - "Hot (blazing, heated, spicy)", - "Idiotic (foolish, dumb, moronic)", - "Important (significant, substantial, momentous)", - "Industrious (diligent, busy, hard-working)", - "Influential (powerful, prominent, important)", - "Innocent (guiltless, pure, naive)", - "Insane (psychotic, deranged, mad)", - "Inspirational (exhilarating, inspiring, stimulating)", - "Insulting (offending, discourteous, rude)", - "Intelligent (bright, smart, brainy)", - "Intense (extreme, passionate, strained)", - "Irresistible (overpowering, overwhelming, compelling)", - "Irritating (annoying, troublesome, provoking)", - "Juicy (drippy, luscious, tantalizing)", - "Lazy (lifeless, apathetic, weary)", - "Legendary (famous, distinctive, prominent)", - "Loud (noisy, boisterous, deafening)", - "Lovable (adorable, endearing, cuddly)", - "Lucky (fortunate, serendipitous, favored)", - "Luscious (delicious, savory, juicy)", - "Luxurious (opulent, lavish, sumptuous)", - "Magical (enchanting, miraculous, marvelous)", - "Manly (masculine, virile, strong)", - "Masculine (male, manly, virile)", - "Meek (shy, mild, timid)", - "Melodramatic (theatrical, sensational, showy)", - "Mischievous (naughty, prankish, sly)", - "Miserable (wretched, pitiful, forlorn)", - "Misunderstood (not grasped, not learned, not absorbed)", - "Mysterious (secretive, puzzling, strange)", - "Mystical (spiritual, secretive, esoteric)", - "Naive (unsophisticated, childlike, simple)", - "Nasty (mean, inclement, offensive)", - "Natural (pure, simple, unadorned)", - "Neat (tidy, orderly, cool)", - "Neglected (ignored, disregarded, rejected)", - "Nerdy (unhip, uncool, dorky)", - "Normal (usual, common, ordinary)", - "Obnoxious (offensive, repulsive, annoying)", - "Odd (different, eccentric, bizarre)", - "Offensive (insulting, vulgar, attacking)", - "Ordinary (usual, common, plain)", - "Organic (natural, clean, biological)", - "Outrageous (shocking, scandalous, disgraceful)", - "Overwhelming (exhaustive, breathtaking, monumental)", - "Painful (hurtful, agonizing, unbearable)", - "Pathetic (pitiful, distressing, heart-rending)", - "Patriotic (nationalistic, loyal, public-spirited)", - "Peaceful (serene, restful, calm)", - "Perfect (faultless, consummate, exact)", - "Philosophical (thoughtful, contemplative, wise)", - "Phony (false, artificial, imitation)", - "Playful (fun, frisky, entertaining)", - "Popular (well-liked, accepted, preferred)", - "Powerful (strong, forceful, robust)", - "Primitive (prehistoric, primal, uncivilized)", - "Principled (conscientious, ethical, scrupulous)", - "Profound (deep, wise, thoughtful)", - "Puffy (swollen, billowy, bloated)", - "Pure (innocent, unadulterated, chaste)", - "Quiet (peaceful, silent, calm)", - "Radiant (shining, glowing, sparkling)", - "Radical (unconventional, revolutionary, extreme)", - "Rare (scarce, unusual, half-cooked)", - "Realistic (authentic, lifelike, reasonable)", - "Refined (well-bred, purified, cultivated)", - "Refreshing (brisk, invigorating, rejuvenating)", - "Relaxing (restful, calming, peaceful)", - "Repulsive (disgusting, offensive, foul)", - "Responsible (accountable, obligated, mature)", - "Revolutionary (innovative, rebellious, radical)", - "Rich (wealthy, affluent, moneyed)", - "Ridiculous (preposterous, absurd, ludicrous)", - "Risky (hazardous, daring, speculative)", - "Rough (scratchy, uneven, jagged)", - "Saintly (virtuous, angelic, divine)", - "Sappy (gooey, mushy, romantic)", - "Scary (frightening, absurd, ugly)", - "Scenic (picturesque, dramatic, panoramic)", - "Selfish (stingy, greedy, miserly)", - "Senseless (meaningless, absurd, foolish)", - "Sensitive (susceptible, sympathetic, tender)", - "Sensual (tactile, pleasing, sexual)", - "Sexy (arousing, appealing, seductive)", - "Shallow (superficial, trivial, not deep)", - "Sharp (pointed, keen, acute)", - "Shiny (reflective, gleaming, polished)", - "Shocking (frightening, electrifying, startling)", - "Shy (bashful, timid, cautious)", - "Silly (goofy, absurd, nonsensical)", - "Smart (intelligent, stylish, witty)", - "Smelly (stinky, odorous, rank)", - "Smooth (even, level, flat)", - "Snappy (stylish, trendy, fast)", - "Soft (malleable, pliable, mushy)", - "Speedy (quick, rapid, fast)", - "Spicy (flavorable, tangy, hot)", - "Spiritual (religious, inspired, supernatural)", - "Spooky (scary, weird, ghostly)", - "Spunky (perky, lively, spirited)", - "Squeaky Clean (pure, immaculate, unapproachable)", - "Stereotyped (pigeonholed, caricatured, characterized)", - "Stunning (astonishing, staggering, astounding)", - "Sultry (sweltering, humid, sensual)", - "Sweet (sugary, caring, good)", - "Swift (quick, speedy, expeditious)", - "Talented (gifted, clever, skillful)", - "Tame (subdued, gentle, trained)", - "Technological (scientific, futuristic, mechanical)", - "Temperamental (moody, irritable, short-tempered)", - "Timeless (classic, ageless, well-established)", - "Touchy-Feely (affectionate, tactile, huggy)", - "Tough (strong, firm, difficult)", - "Trustworthy (honest, reliable, unfailing)", - "Twisted (distorted, warped, perverted)", - "Unbelievable (incredible, far-fetched, impossible)", - "Unforgettable (notable, impressive, remarkable)", - "Unhealthy (risky, sickly, dangerous)", - "Unnatural (abnormal, artificial, bizarre)", - "Unreal (imaginary, illusionary, unbelievable)", - "Unscrupulous (unethical, corrupt, unprincipled)", - "Unusual (rare, odd, uncommon)", - "Useless (worthless, ineffective, unneeded)", - "Violent (furious, vicious, destructive)", - "Virtuous (worthy, righteous, chaste)", - "Visionary (idealistic, prophetic, far-seeing)", - "Weird (abnormal, peculiar, odd)", - "Wicked (evil, corrupt, depraved)", - "Wild (untamed, savage, ferocious)", - "Witty (clever, humorous, cunning)", - "Woebegone (dismal, sorrowful, bummed out)", - "Worldly (experienced, sophisticated, materialistic)", - "Zany (crazy, funny, wacky)" - ], - "redCards": [ - "A Bad Haircut", - "A Bull Fight", - "A Car Crash", - "A Cheap Motel", - "A Crawl Space", - "A Dozen Red Roses", - "A Flat Tire", - "A Full Moon", - "A Haunted House", - "A High School Bathroom", - "A Honeymoon", - "A Locker Room", - "A Morgue", - "A Nine Iron", - "A School Bus", - "A School Cafeteria", - "A Sunrise", - "A Sunset", - "A Tree House", - "A Used Car Lot", - "Abraham Lincoln", - "Adam Sandler", - "Adolph Hitler", - "AIDS", - "Airline Food", - "Al Pacino", - "Albert Einstein", - "Alfred Hitchcock", - "Alien Abductions", - "Americans", - "Amputations", - "Angry Hornets", - "Andy Warhol", - "Anne Frank", - "Antarctica", - "Anthony Hopkins", - "Apple Pie", - "Apples", - "Armed Robbery", - "Assembly Lines", - "At My Parent's House", - "Atlantis", - "Atomic Bombs", - "Attack On Pearl Harbor", - "Austin Powers", - "Australian Outback", - "Babe Ruth", - "Babies", - "Baby Showers", - "Backstreet Boys", - "Bad Dogs", - "Bagpipes", - "Baked Beans", - "Baked Potatoes", - "Baking Cookies", - "Bald Eagles", - "Ballerinas", - "Bangkok", - "Bankruptcy", - "Barbara Walters", - "Barbed Wire", - "Barfing", - "Barney", - "Bart Simpson", - "Bates Motel", - "Batman", - "Bats", - "Beach Parties", - "Beanie Babies", - "Beauty And The Beast", - "Beer", - "Beer Bellies", - "Beethoven", - "Beets", - "Being In Love", - "Bell-Bottoms", - "Ben Stiller", - "Berlin", - "Big Bang Theory", - "Big Macs", - "Bigfoot", - "Bill Clinton", - "Bill Gates", - "Bill Murray", - "Billboards", - "Bingo", - "Bird Watching", - "Black Holes", - "Black Velvet", - "Blizzard", - "Blood", - "Board Games", - "Body Odor", - "Body Piercing", - "Body Surfing", - "Bonbons", - "Bongos", - "Bottled Water", - "Boxing", - "Boy Scouts", - "Boyfriends", - "Brad Pitt", - "Brain Surgeons", - "Brains", - "Britney Spears", - "Broadway", - "Bruce Willis", - "Bubble Gum", - "Bubbles", - "Bullwinkle", - "Bumper Stickers", - "Bungee Jumping", - "Buying A House", - "Cabbage", - "Cactus", - "California", - "Camping Trip", - "Canada", - "Canadians", - "Captain Kirk", - "Car Bombs", - "Car Horns", - "Carl Sagan", - "Carnival Workers", - "Cary Grant", - "Casablanca", - "Casinos", - "Castles", - "Caves", - "Celine Dion", - "Cell Phones", - "Cesar Chavez", - "Chain Letters", - "Chains", - "Challenger Explosion", - "Chameleons", - "Charging Rhinos", - "Cheesecake", - "Cher", - "Chicago", - "Chicken Pox", - "Chickens", - "Chimpanzees", - "China", - "Chinatown", - "Choir Boys", - "Chorus Girls", - "Cigarette Burns", - "Cigarettes", - "Cinco de Mayo", - "Cindy Crawford", - "Clark Gable", - "Claude Monet", - "Cleaning The Bathroom", - "Cleopatra", - "Clint Eastwood", - "Clowns", - "Cocaine", - "Cockroaches", - "Coconuts", - "Cold Pizza", - "Communists", - "Commuting", - "Computer Hackers", - "Computers", - "Confucius", - "Conspiracy Theories", - "Construction Workers", - "Corn On The Cob", - "Corvettes", - "Count Dracula", - "Country Music", - "Cow-Pies", - "Crazy Horse", - "Creamed Corn", - "Crystal Balls", - "Cuba", - "Cults", - "Custer's Last Stand", - "Dandruff", - "Danielle Steel", - "Danny DeVito", - "Dark Alleys", - "Darth Vader", - "Dating", - "David Letterman", - "Daytime TV", - "Death Valley", - "Deer Hunting", - "Demi Moore", - "Democrats", - "Denzel Washington", - "Detroit", - "Diamonds", - "Discos", - "Discovering America", - "Disneyland", - "Divorce", - "Doctors", - "Doing The Dishes", - "Dolly Parton", - "Dr. Kevorkin", - "Dr. Seuss", - "Driving Off A Cliff", - "Duct Tape", - "E-Mail", - "Ear Wax", - "Earthquakes", - "Earwigs", - "East Coast", - "Eddie Murphy", - "Eleanor Roosevelt", - "Electric Eels", - "Electricity", - "Elephants", - "Elizabeth Taylor", - "Elvis Presley", - "Emily Dickinson", - "Ernest Hemingway", - "Europe", - "Exorcism", - "Eyes", - "Falling Down", - "Family Reunions", - "Family Vacations", - "Family Values", - "Fast Food", - "Feathers", - "Feminists", - "Festering Wounds", - "Fidel Castro", - "Firefighters", - "Firestorms", - "Fireworks", - "First Man On The Moon", - "Flipper", - "Fly Fishing", - "Flying Monkeys", - "Forest Fires", - "Fort Knox", - "Fourth Of July", - "Frank Lloyd Wright", - "Frank Sinatra", - "Freckles", - "Freedom", - "French Wines", - "Fresh Water Pearls", - "Friction", - "Fund Raising", - "Funerals", - "Fur", - "Fuzz", - "Gall Bladder", - "Gang Members", - "Garrison Keillor", - "Garth Brooks", - "Geishas", - "Gen. George S. Patton", - "Genetic Engineering", - "George W. Bush", - "George Washington", - "Georgia O'Keeffe", - "Getting A Hug", - "Ghost Towns", - "Ghosts", - "Giant Squid", - "Gila Monsters", - "Gingko Trees", - "Ginseng", - "Girl Scouts", - "Girlfriends", - "Giving A Hug", - "Glaciers", - "Glazed Donuts", - "Global Warming", - "Going To Church", - "Going To Grandma's", - "Going To School", - "Going To The Dentist", - "Going To The Gym", - "Gold Chains", - "Goldfish", - "Golf-Ball-Sized Hail", - "Grace Kelly", - "Graffiti", - "Grass Skirts", - "Grave Robbers", - "Gravity", - "Greenpeace", - "Gym Teachers", - "Hair Transplants", - "Hairballs", - "Halloween", - "Hand Grenades", - "Handcuffs", - "Handguns", - "Hangnails", - "Having A Baby", - "Having An Operation", - "Hawaii", - "Helen Keller", - "Hiccups", - "High School Football", - "High School Reunions", - "Hillary Rodham Clinton", - "Hiroshima", - "HMOs", - "Hockey", - "Hollywood", - "Homeless Shelters", - "Homer Simpson", - "Homework", - "Hooligans", - "Horseback Riding", - "Hot Lava", - "House Guests", - "Hummingbirds", - "Humphrey Bogart", - "Icebergs", - "In A Coma", - "Incense", - "India", - "Indiana Jones", - "Industrial Revolution", - "Infomercials", - "Inside The Sun", - "Intellectuals", - "Ireland", - "Israel", - "Italy", - "Jack Nicholson", - "Jack The Ripper", - "Jackie Chan", - "Jacques Cousteau", - "Jamaica", - "James Bond", - "James Dean", - "Japan", - "Japanese", - "Jelly Beans", - "Jennifer Lopez", - "Jerry Springer", - "Jesse Jackson", - "Jesse Ventura", - "Jim Carrey", - "Jimmy Stewart", - "Joan Of Arc", - "Jodie Foster", - "John F. Kennedy", - "John Glenn", - "John Philip Sousa", - "John Travolta", - "Judge Judy", - "Julia Roberts", - "Junk Mail", - "Jupiter", - "Katherine Hepburn", - "Keanu Reeves", - "Killer Whales", - "Kilts", - "King Arthur", - "King Henry VIII", - "Knock-Knock Jokes", - "Labor Unions", - "Large Mouth Bass", - "Las Vegas", - "Lawyers", - "Leaf Blowers", - "Leather", - "Leeches", - "Lemons", - "Lenin's Tomb", - "Leonardo Da Vinci", - "Lightning", - "Loan Sharks", - "Lobster", - "Local Police", - "Log Cabins", - "Lollipops", - "London", - "Looking For A Job", - "Los Angeles", - "Losing Your Job", - "Lucille Ball", - "Machine Guns", - "Mad Cow Disease", - "Madame Curie", - "Madonna", - "Magic Tricks", - "Mahatma Gandhi", - "Manhattan", - "Mardi Gras", - "Marilyn Monroe", - "Mark Twain", - "Marriage", - "Mars", - "Martha Stewart", - "Martin Luther King, Jr.", - "Meat Cleavers", - "Meatloaf", - "Meg Ryan", - "Mel Gibson", - "Men", - "Men In Black", - "Meryl Streep", - "Mexico", - "Mice", - "Michael Jackson", - "Michael Jordon", - "Michelangelo", - "Michelle Pfeiffer", - "Microsoft", - "Midlife Crisis", - "Mike Tyson", - "Miles Davis", - "Milk", - "Milk Duds", - "Mirrors", - "Mold", - "Money", - "Morticians", - "Mosquitoes", - "Motorcycles", - "Mount Rushmore", - "MTV", - "Mud", - "Mudslides", - "Muhammad Ali", - "Musicals", - "My 16th Birthday", - "My Bank Account", - "My Bathroom", - "My Bedroom", - "My Body", - "My Boss", - "My Dreams", - "My Family", - "My First Kiss", - "My Friends", - "My Future", - "My Hair", - "My High School Prom", - "My Job", - "My Love Life", - "My Mind", - "My Neighborhood", - "My Past", - "My Personality", - "My Refrigerator", - "Napoleon Bonaparte", - "NASCAR", - "Neil Simon", - "New Orleans", - "New Shoes", - "New York City", - "Niagara Falls", - "Nicholas Cage", - "Ninjas", - "Nobel Peace Prize", - "Noisy Neighbors", - "Normal Rockwell", - "Nuclear Power Plants", - "NYPD", - "Oil Spills", - "Olive Oil", - "On-Line Shopping", - "Oprah Winfrey", - "Oral Surgery", - "Oranges", - "Oxygen", - "Pablo Picasso", - "Parenting", - "Paris, France", - "Paying Bills", - "Paying Taxes", - "Penguins", - "Picking Your Nose", - "Pigeons", - "Pigs", - "Piranha", - "Pirates", - "Pit Bulls", - "Plane Crashes", - "Plastic", - "Playing Chess", - "Poison Ivy", - "Pokemon", - "Pond Scum", - "Poodles", - "Popcorn", - "Porsche Boxster", - "Postal Workers", - "Power Tools", - "Prince Charming", - "Princess Di", - "Pro Wrestling", - "Psychiatrists", - "Psychics", - "Public Radio", - "Puff Daddy", - "Pulling Weeds", - "Pumping Iron", - "Pushups", - "Pyramids", - "Quentin Terantino", - "Quicksand", - "Ragweed", - "Rain", - "Rainbows", - "Rappers", - "Reading A Good Book", - "Recreational Vehicles", - "Recycling", - "Red Raspberries", - "Rednecks", - "Redwood Forests", - "Reggae Music", - "Regis Philbin", - "Remote Controls", - "Republicans", - "Richard Nixon", - "Robert DeNiro", - "Road Kill", - "Road Trips", - "Robin Williams", - "Rock And Roll", - "Rock Concert", - "Rocket Scientists", - "Rocky Mountains", - "Rolling The Car", - "Roman Numerals", - "Romeo And Juliet", - "Root Beer Floats", - "Rosa Parks", - "Rosie O'Donnell", - "Rubber Gloves", - "Running A Marathon", - "Rush Limbaugh", - "Russia", - "Rust", - "Saddam Hussein", - "Sailors", - "Salads", - "Salsa Dancing", - "Salvador Dali", - "Samuel L. Jackson", - "Saturday Cartoons", - "San Francisco", - "Saturn", - "Scavenger Hunt", - "Scene Of The Crime", - "Schindler's List", - "Science Fair Projects", - "Science Fiction", - "Screeching", - "Sean Connery", - "Shania Twain", - "Sharks", - "Shopping Mall", - "Silk", - "Silly Putty", - "Skateboarding", - "Skiing", - "Skinheads", - "Skunks", - "Skydiving", - "Sleeping Pills", - "Slivers", - "Sloppy Joes", - "Smithsonian Institution", - "Snakes", - "Snow", - "Social Security", - "Socks", - "South Africa", - "South Park", - "Soy Sauce", - "Spam", - "Speeding Tickets", - "Spiders", - "Spike Lee", - "Spilled Milk", - "Spit", - "Spontaneous Combustion", - "Sport Utility Vehicles", - "Sports Channels", - "Star Fruit", - "Starry Night", - "State Fair", - "Steak And Potatoes", - "Stephen King", - "Steve Martin", - "Steven Spielberg", - "Stonehenge", - "Strawberry Shortcake", - "Stubbed Toes", - "Stunt People", - "Summer Camp", - "Sunday Drivers", - "Superman", - "Supermodels", - "Surfing The Net", - "Sushi", - "Swiss Bank Accounts", - "Swiss Chocolate", - "Swiss Cheese", - "Taking A Bath", - "Talk Radio", - "Teachers", - "Telemarketers", - "Televangelists", - "Television", - "Telling The Truth", - "Terrorist Attack", - "Thanksgiving Day", - "The 1920s", - "The 1950s", - "The 1960s", - "The 1970s", - "The 1980s", - "The 21st Century", - "The Academy Awards", - "The Beach", - "The Beatles", - "The CIA", - "The Cold War", - "The Common Loon", - "The Dallas Cowboys", - "The Dump", - "The Eiffel Tower", - "The Electric Chair", - "The End Of The World", - "The Everglades", - "The Far Left", - "The Far Right", - "The FBI", - "The First Day Of School", - "The French Riviera", - "The Godfather", - "The Grand Canyon", - "The Grateful Dead", - "The Great Chicago Fire", - "The Great Depression", - "The Green Bay Packers", - "The Gulf War", - "The Indy 500", - "The Internet", - "The IRS", - "The JFK Assassination", - "The KKK", - "The Land Of Oz", - "The Little Mermaid", - "The Mafia", - "The Marx Brothers", - "The Metric System", - "The Midwest", - "The Milky Way", - "The Mississippi River", - "The National Enquirer", - "The New York Yankees", - "The NRA", - "The Ocean", - "The Old Man And The Sea", - "The Olympics", - "The Opera", - "The Ozone Layer", - "The Pentagon", - "The Pyramids", - "The Renaissance", - "The Rolling Stones", - "The San Andreas Fault", - "The South", - "The Statue Of Liberty", - "The Super Bowl", - "The Supreme Court", - "The Three Tenors", - "The Titanic", - "The Universe", - "The Vatican", - "The Vietnam Memorial", - "The Williams Sisters", - "The Wright Brothers", - "The YMCA", - "Thomas Edison", - "Thunder", - "Tibet", - "Ticks", - "Tidal Waves", - "Tiger Woods", - "Toasted Marshmallows", - "Toasters", - "Tobacco Companies", - "Toes", - "Tom Cruise", - "Tom Hanks", - "Top Of A Rollercoaster", - "Tornadoes", - "Toys", - "Trailer Parks", - "Trampolines", - "Tree Huggers", - "Truck Stops", - "Tyrannosaurus Rex", - "Underwear", - "United Nations", - "Vacations", - "Vampires", - "Victorian England", - "Video Games", - "Vietnam, 1968", - "Vincent Van Gogh", - "Violins", - "VW Beetles", - "Waco, Texas", - "Wall Street", - "Walt Disney", - "Warts", - "Watching Football", - "Water Parks", - "Waterbeds", - "Waterfalls", - "Watermelons", - "Weapons Dealers", - "Weddings", - "Wheat", - "Wheel Of Fortune", - "Whipped Cream", - "Whips", - "Whoopie Goldberg", - "Will Smith", - "William Shakespeare", - "Wimbledon", - "Windsurfing", - "Wine Tasting", - "Winning The Lottery", - "Witch Hunts", - "Women", - "Women's Soccer", - "Wood Chippers", - "Woodstock", - "Woody Allen", - "Worms", - "X-Ray Vision", - "X-Rays", - "Yellowstone Park", - "Zen", - "Zucchini", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "" - ] -} diff --git a/assets/json/cards-against-humanity.json b/assets/json/cards-against-humanity.json deleted file mode 100644 index 8566ae53..00000000 --- a/assets/json/cards-against-humanity.json +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4371 +0,0 @@ -{ - "blackCards": [ - { - "text": "Why can't I sleep at night?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I got 99 problems but _ ain't one.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's a girl's best friend?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's that smell?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "This is the way the world ends / This is the way the world ends / Not with a bang but with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What is Batman's guilty pleasure?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "TSA guidelines now prohibit _ on airplanes.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What ended my last relationship?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I drink to forget _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's that sound?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's the next Happy Meal® toy?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _ for the first time.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_. That's how I want to die.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What does Dick Cheney prefer?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's the most emo?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "White people like _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_. Betcha can't have just one!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "War! What is it good for?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "BILLY MAYS HERE FOR _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_. High five, bro.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "During sex, I like to think about _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What did I bring back from Mexico?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What are my parents hiding from me?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What will always get you laid?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What helps Obama unwind?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's there a ton of in heaven?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Major League Baseball has banned _ for giving players an unfair advantage.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's the new fad diet?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "When I am the President of the United States, I will create the Department of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_. It's a trap!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "How am I maintaining my relationship status?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Coming to Broadway this season, _: The Musical.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's my secret power?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What gives me uncontrollable gas?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What never fails to liven up the party?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What am I giving up for Lent?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What do old people smell like?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The class field trip was completely ruined by _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a plague of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I do not know with which weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Why do I hurt all over?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Why am I sticky?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's my anti-drug?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "And the Academy Award for _ goes to _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "For my next trick, I will pull _ out of _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "_: Good to the last drop.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_: kid-tested, mother-approved.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What gets better with age?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I never truly understood _ until I encountered _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin's favorite delicacy is _ stuffed with _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Lifetime® presents _, the story of _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Make a haiku.", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that _ had really been _ all along.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "_ is a slippery slope that leads to _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "In a world ravaged by _, our only solace is _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "That's right, I killed _. How, you ask? _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "When I was tripping on acid, _ turned into _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "_ + _ = _.", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "What's the next superhero/sidekick duo?", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with _ and would like your advice.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _ to the people of Haiti.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Next on ESPN2, the World Series of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Step 1: _. Step 2: _. Step 3: Profit.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Here is the church. Here is the steeple. Open the doors. And there is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "How did I lose my virginity?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "During his childhood, Salvador Dalí produced hundreds of paintings of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What don't you want to find in your Kung Pao chicken?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has just opened an exhibit on _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Daddy, why is Mommy crying?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "When I pooped, what came out of my butt?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In the distant future, historians will agree that _ marked the beginning of America's decline.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's the gift that keeps on giving?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "This season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only _ and his wits.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits _ against _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In a pinch, _ can be a suitable substitute for _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Science will never explain the origin of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "An international tribunal has found _ guilty of _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The socialist governments of Scandinavia have declared that access to _ is a basic human right.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "He who controls _ controls the world.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the Office of _ has denied your request for _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_ would be woefully incomplete without _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "My new favorite porn star is Joey \"_\" McGee.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found _.com/_.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, _, acceptance.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I went from _ to _, all thanks to _.", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "This month's Cosmo: \"Spice up your sex life by bringing _ into the bedroom.\"", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "If God didn't want us to enjoy _, he wouldn't have given us _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "After months of debate, the Occupy Wall Street General Assembly could only agree on \"More _!\"", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I spent my whole life working toward _, only to have it ruined by _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Only two things in life are certain: death and _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The votes are in, and the new high school mascot is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Before _, all we had was _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about _ could kill you.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "You haven't truly lived until you've experienced _ and _ at the same time.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Hey baby, come back to my place and I'll show you _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "My gym teacher got fired for adding _ to the obstacle course.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Finally! A service that delivers _ right to your door.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of _ and _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "During high school, I never really fit in until I found _ club.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Listen, son. If you want to get involved with _, I won't stop you. Just steer clear of _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate _ in the workplace.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Lovin' you is easy 'cause you're _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What left this stain on my couch?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Turns out that _-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "After months of practice with _, I think I'm finally ready for _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure _ for all eternity.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "When you get right down to it, _ is just _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Having problems with _? Try _!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "And what did you bring for show and tell?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "With enough time and pressure, _ will turn into _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "_: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for _!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "_. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "As part of his contract, Prince won't perform without _ in his dressing room.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Man, this is bullshit. Fuck _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_ may pass, but _ will last forever.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Alright, bros. Our frat house is condemned, and all the hot slampieces are over at Gamma Phi. The time has come to commence Operation _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In return for my soul, the Devil promised me _, but all I got was _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on _, and then there's some stuff about _, and then it ends with _.", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "_ will never be the same after _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In the beginning, there was _. And the Lord said, \"Let there be _.\"", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "What's fun until it gets weird?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "We never did find _, but along the way we sure learned a lot about _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "You've seen the bearded lady! You've seen the ring of fire! Now, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "How am I compensating for my tiny penis?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow _ at the country club.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and she walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me she's looking for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Oprah's book of the month is \"_ For _: A Story of Hope.\"", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Do not fuck with me! I am literally _ right now.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Adventure. Romance. _. From Paramount Pictures, \"_.\"", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "I am become _, destroyer of _!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "If you can't handle _, you'd better stay away from _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "This year's hottest album is \"_\" by _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Every step towards _ gets me a little closer to _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Forget everything you know about _, because now we've supercharged it with _!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight! You can be _, and I'll be _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Do the Dew ® with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Armani suit: $1,000. Dinner for two at that swanky restaurant: $300. The look on her face when you surprise her with _: priceless.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we allow students to explore _ at their own pace.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Heed my voice, mortals! I am the god of _, and I will not tolerate _!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "I don't mean to brag, but they call me the Michael Jordan of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Why am I broke?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Help me doctor, I've got _ in my butt!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into _, and I love to have a good time.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Patient presents with _. Likely a result of _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Life's pretty tough in the fast lane. That's why I never leave the house without _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's making things awkward in the sauna?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in one thing: _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Having the worst day EVER. #_", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Don't forget! Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become \"_ Friday.\"", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What killed my boner?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Yo' mama so fat she _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Well if _ is good enough for _, it's good enough for me.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled \"_\". Can you explain?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Do you lack energy? Does it sometimes feel like the whole world is _? Zoloft.®", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "WHOOO! God damn I love _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Now in bookstores: \"The Audacity of _\", by Barack Obama.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "And today's soup is Cream of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I work my ass off all day for this family, and this is what I come home to? _!?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I have a strict policy. First date, dinner. Second date, kiss. Third date, _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "When I was a kid, we used to play Cowboys and _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple, or _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "You Won't Believe These 15 Hilarious _ Bloopers!" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Don't worry kid. It gets better. I've been living with _ for 20 years." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "My grandfather worked his way up from nothing. When he came to this country, all he had was the shoes on his feet and _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Behind every powerful man is _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with _ every day." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy _ by the poolside." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "\"This is madness.\" \"No, THIS IS _!\"" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Listen Gary, I like you. But if you want that corner office, you're going to have to show me _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I went to the desert and ate of the peyote cactus. Turns out my spirit animal is _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "And would you like those buffalo wings mild, hot, or _?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "The six things I could never do without: oxygen, Facebook, chocolate, Netflix, friends, and _ LOL!" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it _?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in _. This is normal." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I'm sorry, Mrs. Chen, but there was nothing we could do. At 4:15 this morning, your son succumbed to _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I'm Miss Tennessee, and if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Tonight we will have sex. And afterwards, If you'd like, a little bit of _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Everybody join hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That's the presence of _ in this room." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "To become a true Yanomamo warrior, you must prove that you can withstand _ without crying out." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon, and this is America's Got _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "If you had to describe the Card Czar, using only one of the cards in your hand, which one would it be?" - }, - { - "pick": 2, - "text": "_ be all like _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Art isn't just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "As reparations for slavery, all African Americans will receive _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "As Teddy Roosevelt said, the four manly virtues are honor, temperance, industry, and _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Best you go back where you came from, now. We don't take too kindly to _ in these parts." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "CNN breaking news! Scientists discover _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Coming to Red Lobster® this month, _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Congratulations! You have been selected for our summer internship program. While we are unable to offer a salary, we can offer you _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Dance like there's nobody watching, love like you'll never be hurt, and live like you're _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Errbody in the club _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Feeling so grateful! #amazing #mylife #_." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Girls just wanna have _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Google Calendar alert: _ in 10 minutes." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I don't believe in God. I believe in _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I got rhythm, I've got music, I've got _. Who could ask for anything more?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I tell you, it was a non-stop fuckfest. When it was over, my asshole looked like _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I'll take the BBQ bacon burger with friend egg and fuck it how about _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I'm sorry, sir, but your insurance plan doesn't cover injuries caused by _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I've had a horrible vision, father. I saw mountains crumbling, stars falling from the sky. I saw _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "If at first you don't succeed, try _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "In the 1950s, psychologists prescribed _ as a cure for homosexually." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "LSD + _ = really bad time." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "\"Mom's to-do list: - Buy Groceries. - Clean up _. - Soccer Practice.\"" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Most Americans would not vote for a candidate who is openly _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! I will NOT let _ ruin this wedding." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Oh no! Siri, how do I fix _?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "One more thing. Watch out for Big Mike. They say he killed a man with _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Ooo, daddy like _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Poor Brandon, still living in his parent's basement. I heard he never got over _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm _!" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "She's a lady in the streets, _ in the sheets." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "She's just one of the guys, you know? She likes beer, and football, and _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Son, take it from someone who's been around the block a few times. Nothin' puts her in the mood like _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Summer lovin', had me a blast. _, happened so fast." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "\"The top Google auto-complete results for \"Barack Obama\": - Barack Obama Height. - Barack Obama net worth. - Barack Obama _.\"" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Then the princess kissed the frog, and all of a sudden the frog was _!" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "There is no God. It's just _ and then you die." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "This Friday at the Liquid Lunge, it's _ Night! Ladies drink free." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "We do not shake with our left hands in this country. That is the hand we use for _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Well if _ is a crime, then lock me up!" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Well, shit. My eyes ain't so good, but I'll eat my own boot if that ain't _!" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What are all those whales singing about?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What sucks balls?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What totally destroyed my asshole?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What turned me into a Republican?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What will end racism once and for all?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What's a total waste of Hillary Clinton's time?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What's about to take dance floor to the next level?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What's the gayest?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What's the most problematic?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Why am I laughing and crying and taking off my clothes?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "With a one-time gift of just $10, you can save this child from _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "You know who else liked _? Hitler." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "You won't believe what's in my pussy. It's _." - }, - { - "text": "Siskel and Ebert have panned _ as \"poorly conceived\" and \"sloppily executed.\"", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Up next on Nickelodeon: \"Clarissa Explains _.\"", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Believe it or not, Jim Carrey can do a dead-on impression of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "It's Morphin' Time! Mastadon! Pterodactyl! Triceratops! Sabertooth Tiger! _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "How did Stella get her groove back?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Tonight on SNICK: \"Are You Afraid of _?\"", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "And in the end, the dragon was not evil; he just wanted _." - }, - { - "pick": 2, - "text": "Critics are raving about HBO's new Game of Thrones spin-off, \"_ of _.\"" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Having tired of poetry and music, the immortal elves now fill their days with _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Who blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Your father was a powerful wizard, Harry. Before he died, he left you something very precious: _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I'm Bobby Flay, and if you can't stand _, get out of the kitchen!" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "It's not delivery. It's _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Aw babe, your burps smell like _!" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Don't miss Rachel Ray's hit new show, Cooking with _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Excuse me, waiter. Could take this back? This soup tastes like _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Now on Netflix: Jiro Dreams of _." - }, - { - "pick": 2, - "text": "In line with our predictions, we find a robust correlation between _ and _ (p>.05)." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized _ in the lab." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "A study published in Nature this week found that _ is good for you in small doses." - }, - { - "pick": 2, - "text": "In an attempt to recreate conditions just after the Big Bang, physicists at the LHC are observing collisions between _ and _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What really killed the dinosaurs?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Hey there, Young Scientists! Put on your labcoats and strap on your safety goggles, because today we're learning about _!" - }, - { - "pick": 2, - "text": "Today on MythBusters, we found out how long _ can withstand _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Don't worry, Penny! Go Go Gadget _!" - }, - { - "pick": 2, - "text": "I need you like _ needs _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "I'm just gonna stay in tonight. You know, Netflix and _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Nothing says \"I love you\" like _." - }, - { - "pick": 2, - "text": "Such _. Very _. Wow." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "This app is basically Tinder, but for _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "TRIGGER WARNING: _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What did I nickname my genitals?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "You guys, you can buy _ on the dark web." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "When you go to the polls on Tuesday, remember: a vote for me is a vote for _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Senator, I trust you enjoyed _ last night. Now, can I count on your vote?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Trump's great! Trump's got _. I love that." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "According to Arizona's stand-your-ground law, you're allowed to shoot someone if they're _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "It's 3AM. The red phone rings. It's _. Who do you want answering?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Donald Trump has nominated _ for his VP." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "In 2019, Donald Trump eliminated our national parks to make room for _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Donald Trump's first act as president was to outlaw _." - }, - { - "text": "After blacking out during New Year's Eve, I was awoken by _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "This holiday season, Tim Allen must overcome his fear of _ to save Christmas.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Jesus is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Every Christmas, my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What keeps me warm during the cold, cold winter?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French hens, two turtle doves, and _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Wake up, America. Christmas is under attack by secular liberals and their _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Here's what you can expect for the new year. Out: _. In: _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict's Secret Struggle with _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "GREETINGS HUMANS I AM _ BOT EXECUTING PROGRAM", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Kids these days with their iPods and their Internet. In my day, all we needed to pass the time was _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Because they are forbidden from masturbating, Mormons channel their repressed sexual energy into _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Blessed are you, Lord our God, creator of the universe, who has granted us _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "But wait, there's more! If you order _ in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in _ absolutely free!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "What's the one thing that makes an elf instantly ejaculate?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I really hope my grandmother doesn't ask me to explain _ again.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "You have been waylaid by _ and must defend yourself.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I have an idea even better than Kickstarter, and it's called _starter.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Action stations! Action stations! Set condition one throughout the fleet and brace for _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In the final round of this year's Omegathon, Omeganauts must face off in a game of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Press ↑ ↓ ← → B to unleash _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I don't know exactly how I got the PAX plague, but I suspect it had something to do with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The most controversial game at PAX this year is an 8-bit indie platformer about _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What made Spock cry?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In the new DLC for Mass Effect, Shepard must save the galaxy from _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "No Enforcer wants to manage the panel on _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_: Achievement unlocked.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "There was a riot at the Gearbox panel when they gave the attendees _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "(Heavy breathing) Luke, I am _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "You think you have defeated me? Well, let's see how you handle _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What the hell?! They added a 6/6 with flying, trample, and _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_ is way better in _ mode.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Unfortunately, Neo, no one can be told what _ is. You have to see it for yourself.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Let me tell you about my new startup. It's basically _, but for _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "_ was totally worth the trauma.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "pick": 2, - "text": "Buzzfeed presents: 10 pictures of _ that look like _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "During my first game of D&D, I accidentally summoned _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Bob Ross's little-known first show was called \"The Joy of _.\"" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Like _, State Farm is there." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "The Discovery Channel presents: _ week." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "\"It's not delivery. It's _.\"" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Don't miss Rachel Ray's hit new show, Cooking with _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Now on Netflix: Jiro Dreams of _." - }, - { - "text": "A wise man said, \"Everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about _.\"", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Our relationship is strictly professional. Let's not complicate things with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Corruption. Betrayal. _. Coming soon to Netflix, \"House of _.\"", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Because you enjoyed _, we thought you'd like _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "I can't believe Netflix is using _ to promote House of Cards.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "We're not like other news organizations. Here at Slugline, we welcome _ in the office.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I'm not going to lie. I despise _. There, I said it.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with _ that requires my immediate attention.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "If you need him to, Remy Danton can pull some strings and get you _, but it'll cost you.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "You can't wait forever. It's time to talk to your doctor about _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "The Westboro Baptist Church is now picketing soldiers' funerals with signs that read 'GOD HATES _.'" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What are two cards in your hand that you want to get rid of?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "The elders of the Ibo tribe of Nigeria recommend _ as a cure for impotence." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare for _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life. Today on our program, _. Stay with us." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What do you see?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Sir, we found you passed out naked on the side of the road. What's the last thing you remember?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Astronomers have discovered that the universe consists of 5% ordinary matter, 25% dark matter, and 70% _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "BowWOW! is the first pet hotel in LA that offers _ for dogs." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Hey, whatever happened to Renee Zellweger?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Housekeeping! You want _?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "In bourgeois society, capital is independent and has individuality, while the living person is _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "What's wrong with these gorillas?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "Why did the chicken cross the road?" - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "You say tomato, I say _." - }, - { - "pick": 1, - "text": "America is hungry. America needs _." - }, - { - "text": "Air Canada guidelines now prohibit _ on airplanes.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "O Canada, we stand on guard for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "CTV presents _, the story of _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the Royal Ontario Museum has opened an interactive exhibit on _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What's the Canadian government using to inspire rural students to succeed?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Real men watch _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "So wait, _ was actually _? Wow, I didn't see that one coming!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Whenever I'm splashed with cold water, I turn into _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "No matter how you look at it, ultimately _ is responsible for _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Vegeta, what does the scouter say?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Who the hell do you think I am?!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "On the next episode of Dragon Ball Z, Goku has a fierce battle with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Truly and without question, _ is the manliest of all men.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "WANTED: $50,000,000,000 reward for the apprehension of_.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "People die when they are _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Okay, I'll admit it. I would totally go gay for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_. Goddammit, Japan.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Digimon! Digivolve to: _-mon!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I have never in my life laughed harder than the first time I watched _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "There are guilty pleasures. And then there's _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "When it comes to Japanese cuisine, there's simply nothing better than _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Just announced: The brand new anime adaptation of _, starring _ as the voice of _.", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "I'M-A FIRIN' MAH _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Of my entire collection, my most prized possession is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Mom, I swear! Despite its name, _ is NOT a porno!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The government of Japan recently passed a law that effectively forbids all forms of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "When it comes to hentai, nothing gets me hotter than _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Lupin the III's latest caper involves him trying to steal _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_. YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_ vs. _. BEST. FIGHT. EVER.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Fresh from Japan: The new smash hit single by _ titled _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Congratulations, _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Hayao Miyazaki's latest family film is about a young boy befriending _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "One thing you almost never see in anime is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "By far the best panel at any anime convention is the one for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "S-Shut up!! I-It's not like I'm _ or anything.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What is moé?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The English dub of _ sucks worse than _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "_. BELIEVE IT!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Make a contract with me, and become _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "You guys are so wrong. Obviously, _ is best waifu.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In the latest chapter of Toriko, our hero hunts down, kills, and eats a creature made entirely of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "On the next episode of Dragon Ball Z, _ is forced to do the fusion dance with _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "You are already _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "THIS _ HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY LINE FOR GENERATIONS!!!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "My favorite episode of _ is the one with _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Make a yaoi shipping.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "This doujinshi I just bought has _ and _ getting it on, hardcore.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Make a love triangle.", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "Dr. Black Jack, please hurry! The patient is suffering from a terminal case of _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "So just who is this Henry Goto fellow, anyway?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "When Henry Goto is alone and thinks that no one's looking, he secretly enjoys _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "He might just save the universe, if he only had some _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "This _ of mine glows with an awesome power! Its _ tells me to defeat you!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Cards Against Anime: It's more fun than _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "On the mean streets of Tokyo, everyone knows that _ is the leader of the _ Gang.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "When I found all 7 Dragon Balls, Shenron granted me my wish for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The best part of my _ costume is _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "My _ is the _ that will pierce the heavens!! *same white card used for both blanks*", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "After years of searching, the crew of the Thousand Sunny finally found out that the One Piece is actually _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The World Line was changed when I sent a D-mail to myself about _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In this episode of Master Keaton, Keaton builds _ out of _ and _.", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "So, what have you learned from all of this?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Someday when I have kids, I want to share with them the joys of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Who placed first in the most recent Shonen Jump popularity poll?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "No matter how many times I see it, _ always brings a tear to my eye.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Coming to Neon Alley: _, completely UNCUT & UNCENSORED.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "This year, I'm totally gonna cosplay as _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "My favorite hentai is the one where _ is held down and violated by _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Cooking is so fun! Cooking is so fun! Now it's time to take a break and see what we have done! _. YAY! IT'S READY!!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The most annoying kind of anime fans are _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_. So kawaii!! <3 <3", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Animation studio _ is perhaps best known for _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "This is our final battle. Mark my words, I will defeat you, _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "After a long, arduous battle, _ finally met their end by _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "The best English dub I've ever heard is the one for _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "You used _. It's super effective!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_. HE DEDD.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I know of opinions and all that, but I just don't understand how anyone could actually enjoy _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "You see, I'm simply _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "She'll thaw out if you try _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Yoko Kanno's latest musical score features a song sung entirely by _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "This year, I totally lucked out and found _ in the dealer's room.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "If I was a magical girl, my cute mascot sidekick would be _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "How did I avoid your attack? Simple. By _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In the future of 199X, the barrier between our world and the demon world is broken, and thousands of monsters invade our realm to feed upon _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "From the creators of Tiger & Bunny: _ & _!!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "In truth, the EVA units are actually powered by the souls of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Dreaming! Don't give it up _! Dreaming! Don't give it up _! Dreaming! Don't give it up _!", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "Yo-Ho-Ho! He took a bite of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The new Gurren Lagann blurays from Aniplex will literally cost you _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The most overused anime cliche is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The inspiration behind the latest hit show is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "While writing Dragon Ball, Akira Toriyama would occasionally take a break from working to enjoy _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The show was great, until _ showed up.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Nothing ruins a good anime faster than _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I want to be the very best, like no one ever was! _ is my real test, _ is my cause!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Who are you callin' _ so short he can't see over his own _?!?!", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "If you ask me, there need to be more shows about _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_. That is the kind of man I was.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to accidentally walk in on you while you were _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In the latest episode of Case Closed, Conan deduces that it was _ who killed _ because of _.", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "Welcome home, Master! Is there anything your servant girl can bring you today?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In the latest chapter of Golgo 13, he kills his target with _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Karaoke night! I'm totally gonna sing my favorite song, _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Take this! My love, my anger, and all of my _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_. Only on Toonami", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "From the twisted mind of Nabeshin: An anime about _, _, and _.", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "Behold the name of my Zanpakuto, _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Now! Face my ultimate attack!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Sasuke has _ implants.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "To save the world, you must collect all 7 _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The new manga from _ is about a highschool girl discovering _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "I am in despair! _ has left me in despair!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Mamoru Oshii's latest film is a slow-paced, two hour-long cerebral piece about the horrors of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What do I love most about anime?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The rarest Pokémon in my collection is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What do I hate most about anime?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Watch it! Or I'll take your _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "This morning, hundreds of Japanese otaku lined up outside their favorite store to buy the limited collector's edition of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Every now and then, I like to participate in the time-honored Japanese tradition of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Chicks. Dig. _. Nice.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "New from Studio GAINAX: _ the Animation.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Using my power of Geass, I command you to do... THIS!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Don't worry, he's okay! He survived thanks to _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The next big Tokusatsu show: \"Super Sentai _ Ranger!\"", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "In the name of the moon, I will punish _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you _... COVERED IN BEES!!!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The Chocolate Underground stopped the Good For You Party by capturing their _ and exposing their leader as _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Who cares about the printing press, did that medieval peasant girl just invent _?!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The court finds the defendant, _, guilty of _, and sentences them to a lifetime of _.", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "What does Alucard have nightmares about?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "I've always wanted to become a voice actor, so I could play the role of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "It's no secret. Deep down, everybody wants to fuck _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Behold! My trap card, _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "As part of a recent promotion, Japanese KFCs are now dressing their Colonel Sanders statues up as _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Fighting _ by moonlight! Winning _ by daylight! Never running from a real fight! She is the one named _!", - "pick": 3 - }, - { - "text": "Don't stand behind him, if you value your _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What the hell is \"Juvijuvibro\"?!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "If the anime industry is dying, what will be the final nail in it's coffin?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "It has been said... That there are entire forests of _, made from the sweetest _.", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "IT'S _ TIME!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "My love for you is like _. BERSERKER!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "They are the prey, and we are the _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "No matter how I look at it, it's your fault I'm not _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "My Little Sister Can't Be _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "By far, the most mind-bogglingly awesome thing I've ever seen in anime is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "After eating a Devil Fruit, I now have the power of _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "That's not a squid! It's _!", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "The moé debate was surprisingly civil until someone mentioned _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Anime has taught me that classic literature can always be improved by adding _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "And from Kyoto Animation, a show about cute girls doing _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "\"_.\" \"What the hell, man?!\" \"_.\" \"Oh, okay.\"", - "pick": 2 - }, - { - "text": "Madoka Kyouno's nickname for Muginami's older brother is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What do otaku smell like?", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "Attention, duelists: My hair is _.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "_ loves to eat pant.", - "pick": 1 - }, - { - "text": "What will finally make hydrabolt release Discord.js v12?", - "pick": 1 - } - ], - "whiteCards": [ - "Coat hanger abortions.", - "Man meat.", - "Autocannibalism.", - "Vigorous jazz hands.", - "Flightless birds.", - "Pictures of boobs.", - "Doing the right thing.", - "The violation of our most basic human rights.", - "Viagra®.", - "Self-loathing.", - "Spectacular abs.", - "A balanced breakfast.", - "Roofies.", - "Concealing a boner.", - "Amputees.", - "The Big Bang.", - "Former President George W. Bush.", - "The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.", - "Smegma.", - "Being marginalized.", - "Cuddling.", - "Laying an egg.", - "The Pope.", - "Aaron Burr.", - "Genital piercings.", - "Fingering.", - "A bleached asshole.", - "Horse meat.", - "Fear itself.", - "Science.", - "Elderly Japanese men.", - "Stranger danger.", - "The terrorists.", - "Praying the gay away.", - "Same-sex ice dancing.", - "Ethnic cleansing.", - "Cheating in the Special Olympics.", - "German dungeon porn.", - "Bingeing and purging.", - "Making a pouty face.", - "William Shatner.", - "Heteronormativity.", - "Nickelback.", - "Tom Cruise.", - "The profoundly handicapped.", - "The placenta.", - "Chainsaws for hands.", - "Arnold Schwarzenegger.", - "An icepick lobotomy.", - "Goblins.", - "Object permanence.", - "Dying.", - "Foreskin.", - "A falcon with a cap on its head.", - "Hormone injections.", - "Dying of dysentery.", - "Sexy pillow fights.", - "The invisible hand.", - "A really cool hat.", - "Sean Penn.", - "Heartwarming orphans.", - "The clitoris.", - "The Three-Fifths compromise.", - "A sad handjob.", - "Men.", - "Historically black colleges.", - "A micropenis.", - "Raptor attacks.", - "Agriculture.", - "Vikings.", - "Pretending to care.", - "The Underground Railroad.", - "My humps.", - "Being a dick to children.", - "Geese.", - "Bling.", - "Sniffing glue.", - "The South.", - "An Oedipus complex.", - "Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.", - "Sexting.", - "YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.", - "Mutually-assured destruction.", - "Sunshine and rainbows.", - "Count Chocula.", - "Sharing needles.", - "Being rich.", - "Skeletor.", - "A sausage festival.", - "Michael Jackson.", - "Emotions.", - "Farting and walking away.", - "The Chinese gymnastics team.", - "Necrophilia.", - "Spontaneous human combustion.", - "Yeast.", - "Leaving an awkward voicemail.", - "Dick Cheney.", - "White people.", - "Penis envy.", - "Teaching a robot to love.", - "Sperm whales.", - "Scrubbing under the folds.", - "Panda sex.", - "Whipping it out.", - "Catapults.", - "Masturbation.", - "Natural selection.", - "Opposable thumbs.", - "A sassy black woman.", - "AIDS.", - "The KKK.", - "Figgy pudding.", - "Seppuku.", - "Gandhi.", - "Preteens.", - "Toni Morrison's vagina.", - "Five-Dollar Footlongs™.", - "Land mines.", - "A sea of troubles.", - "A zesty breakfast burrito.", - "Christopher Walken.", - "Friction.", - "Balls.", - "Dental dams.", - "A can of whoop-ass.", - "A tiny horse.", - "Waiting 'til marriage.", - "Authentic Mexican cuisine.", - "Genghis Khan.", - "Old-people smell.", - "Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.", - "Pixelated bukkake.", - "Friends with benefits.", - "The token minority.", - "The Tempur-Pedic® Swedish Sleep System™.", - "A thermonuclear detonation.", - "Take-backsies.", - "The Rapture.", - "A cooler full of organs.", - "Sweet, sweet vengeance.", - "RoboCop.", - "Keanu Reeves.", - "Drinking alone.", - "Giving 110%.", - "Flesh-eating bacteria.", - "The American Dream.", - "Taking off your shirt.", - "Me time.", - "A murder most foul.", - "The inevitable heat death of the universe.", - "The folly of man.", - "That thing that electrocutes your abs.", - "Cards Against Humanity.", - "Fiery poops.", - "Poor people.", - "Edible underpants.", - "Britney Spears at 55.", - "All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.", - "Pooping back and forth. Forever.", - "Fancy Feast®.", - "Jewish fraternities.", - "Being a motherfucking sorcerer.", - "Pulling out.", - "Picking up girls at the abortion clinic.", - "The homosexual agenda.", - "The Holy Bible.", - "Passive-agression.", - "Ronald Reagan.", - "Vehicular manslaughter.", - "Nipple blades.", - "Assless chaps.", - "Full frontal nudity.", - "Hulk Hogan.", - "Daddy issues.", - "The hardworking Mexican.", - "Natalie Portman.", - "Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.", - "God.", - "Sean Connery.", - "Saxophone solos.", - "Gloryholes.", - "The World of Warcraft.", - "Homeless people.", - "Scalping.", - "Darth Vader.", - "Eating the last known bison.", - "Guys who don't call.", - "Hot Pockets®.", - "A time travel paradox.", - "The milk man.", - "Testicular torsion.", - "Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.", - "World peace.", - "A salty surprise.", - "Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.", - "Smallpox blankets.", - "Licking things to claim them as your own.", - "The heart of a child.", - "Robert Downey, Jr.", - "Lockjaw.", - "Eugenics.", - "A good sniff.", - "Friendly fire.", - "The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.", - "Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.", - "Hurricane Katrina.", - "Free samples.", - "Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.", - "A foul mouth.", - "The glass ceiling.", - "Republicans.", - "Explosions.", - "Michelle Obama's arms.", - "Getting really high.", - "Attitude.", - "Sarah Palin.", - "The Übermensch.", - "Altar boys.", - "My soul.", - "My sex life.", - "Pedophiles.", - "72 virgins.", - "Pabst Blue Ribbon.", - "Domino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza.", - "A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.", - "The Blood of Christ.", - "Half-assed foreplay.", - "My collection of high-tech sex toys.", - "A middle-aged man on roller skates.", - "Bitches.", - "Bill Nye the Science Guy.", - "Italians.", - "A windmill full of corpses.", - "Adderall™.", - "Crippling debt.", - "A stray pube.", - "Prancing.", - "Passing a kidney stone.", - "A brain tumor.", - "Leprosy.", - "Puppies!", - "Bees?", - "Frolicking.", - "Repression.", - "Road head.", - "A bag of magic beans.", - "An asymmetric boob job.", - "Dead parents.", - "Public ridicule.", - "A mating display.", - "A mime having a stroke.", - "Stephen Hawking talking dirty.", - "African children.", - "Mouth herpes.", - "Overcompensation.", - "Riding off into the sunset.", - "Being on fire.", - "Tangled Slinkys.", - "Civilian casualties.", - "Auschwitz.", - "My genitals.", - "Not reciprocating oral sex.", - "Lactation.", - "Being fabulous.", - "Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.", - "My relationship status.", - "Asians who aren't good at math.", - "Alcoholism.", - "Incest.", - "Grave robbing.", - "Hope.", - "8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.", - "Kids with ass cancer.", - "Winking at old people.", - "The Jews.", - "Justin Bieber.", - "Doin' it in the butt.", - "A lifetime of sadness.", - "The Hamburglar.", - "Swooping.", - "Classist undertones.", - "New Age music.", - "Not giving a shit about the Third World.", - "The Kool-Aid Man.", - "A hot mess.", - "Tentacle porn.", - "Lumberjack fantasies.", - "The gays.", - "Scientology.", - "Estrogen.", - "GoGurt®.", - "Judge Judy.", - "Dick fingers.", - "Racism.", - "Surprise sex!", - "Police brutality.", - "Passable transvestites.", - "The Virginia Tech Massacre.", - "When you fart and a little bit comes out.", - "Oompa-Loompas.", - "A fetus.", - "Obesity.", - "Tasteful sideboob.", - "Hot people.", - "BATMAN!!!", - "Black people.", - "A gassy antelope.", - "Sexual tension.", - "Third base.", - "Racially-biased SAT questions.", - "Porn stars.", - "A Super Soaker™ full of cat pee.", - "Muhammed (Praise Be Unto Him).", - "Puberty.", - "A disappointing birthday party.", - "An erection that lasts longer than four hours.", - "White privilege.", - "Getting so angry that you pop a boner.", - "Wifely duties.", - "Two midgets shitting into a bucket.", - "Queefing.", - "Wiping her butt.", - "Golden showers.", - "Barack Obama.", - "Nazis.", - "A robust mongoloid.", - "An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.", - "Getting drunk on mouthwash.", - "Lunchables™.", - "Women in yogurt commercials.", - "John Wilkes Booth.", - "Powerful thighs.", - "Mr. Clean, right behind you.", - "Multiple stab wounds.", - "Cybernetic enhancements.", - "Serfdom.", - "Kanye West.", - "Women's suffrage.", - "Children on leashes.", - "Harry Potter erotica.", - "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.", - "Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.", - "Parting the Red Sea.", - "The Amish.", - "Dead babies.", - "Child beauty pageants.", - "AXE Body Spray.", - "Centaurs.", - "Copping a feel.", - "Grandma.", - "Famine.", - "The Trail of Tears.", - "The miracle of childbirth.", - "Finger painting.", - "A monkey smoking a cigar.", - "The Make-A-Wish® Foundation.", - "Anal beads.", - "The Force.", - "Kamikaze pilots.", - "Dry heaving.", - "Active listening.", - "Ghosts.", - "The Hustle.", - "Peeing a little bit.", - "Another goddamn vampire movie.", - "Shapeshifters.", - "The Care Bear Stare.", - "Hot cheese.", - "A mopey zoo lion.", - "A defective condom.", - "Teenage pregnancy.", - "A Bop It™.", - "Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.", - "Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.", - "Boogers.", - "Unfathomable stupidity.", - "Breaking out into song and dance.", - "Soup that is too hot.", - "Morgan Freeman's voice.", - "Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.", - "MechaHitler.", - "Flying sex snakes.", - "The true meaning of Christmas.", - "My inner demons.", - "Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.", - "My vagina.", - "A homoerotic volleyball montage.", - "Actually taking candy from a baby.", - "Crystal meth.", - "Exactly what you'd expect.", - "Natural male enhancement.", - "Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.", - "Inappropriate yodeling.", - "Lady Gaga.", - "The Little Engine That Could.", - "Vigilante justice.", - "A death ray.", - "Poor life choices.", - "A gentle caress of the inner thigh.", - "Embryonic stem cells.", - "Nicolas Cage.", - "Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.", - "Switching to Geico®.", - "The chronic.", - "Erectile dysfunction.", - "Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine®.", - "A bucket of fish heads.", - "50,000 volts straight to the nipples.", - "Being fat and stupid.", - "Hospice care.", - "A pyramid of severed heads.", - "Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying.", - "A subscription to Men's Fitness.", - "Crucifixion.", - "A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.", - "Some god-damn peace and quiet.", - "Used panties.", - "A tribe of warrior women.", - "The penny whistle solo from \"My Heart Will Go On.\"", - "An oversized lollipop.", - "Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.", - "Not wearing pants.", - "Consensual sex.", - "Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.", - "Funky fresh rhymes.", - "The art of seduction.", - "The Devil himself.", - "Advice from a wise, old black man.", - "Destroying the evidence.", - "The light of a billion suns.", - "Wet dreams.", - "Synergistic management solutions.", - "Growing a pair.", - "Silence.", - "An M16 assault rifle.", - "Poopy diapers.", - "A live studio audience.", - "The Great Depression.", - "A spastic nerd.", - "Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body.", - "Tickling Sean Hannity, even after he tells you to stop.", - "Stalin.", - "Brown people.", - "Rehab.", - "Capturing Newt Gingrich and forcing him to dance in a monkey suit.", - "Battlefield amputations.", - "An uppercut.", - "Shiny objects.", - "An ugly face.", - "Menstrual rage.", - "A bitch slap.", - "One trillion dollars.", - "Chunks of dead prostitute.", - "The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir.", - "The female orgasm.", - "Extremely tight pants.", - "The Boy Scouts of America.", - "Stormtroopers.", - "Throwing a virgin into a volcano.", - "Getting in her pants, politely.", - "Gladiatorial combat.", - "Good grammar.", - "Hipsters.", - "Gandalf.", - "Genetically engineered super-soldiers.", - "George Clooney's musk.", - "Getting abducted by Peter Pan.", - "Eating an albino.", - "Enormous Scandinavian women.", - "Fabricating statistics.", - "Finding a skeleton.", - "Suicidal thoughts.", - "Dancing with a broom.", - "Deflowering the princess.", - "Dorito breath.", - "One thousand Slim Jims.", - "My machete.", - "Overpowering your father.", - "Ominous background music.", - "Media coverage.", - "Making the penises kiss.", - "Moral ambiguity.", - "Medieval Times® Dinner & Tournament.", - "Mad hacky-sack skills.", - "Just the tip.", - "Literally eating shit.", - "Leveling up.", - "Insatiable bloodlust.", - "Historical revisionism.", - "Jean-Claude Van Damme.", - "Jafar.", - "The boners of the elderly.", - "The economy.", - "Statistically validated stereotypes.", - "Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.", - "Slow motion.", - "Space muffins.", - "Sexual humiliation.", - "Sexy Siamese twins.", - "Santa Claus.", - "Scrotum tickling.", - "Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.", - "Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.", - "Quivering jowls.", - "Revenge fucking.", - "Pistol-whipping a hostage.", - "Quiche.", - "Zeus's sexual appetites.", - "Words, words, words.", - "Tripping balls.", - "Being a busy adult with many important things to do.", - "The four arms of Vishnu.", - "The shambling corpse of Larry King.", - "The hiccups.", - "The harsh light of day.", - "The Gulags.", - "The Fanta® girls.", - "A big black dick.", - "A beached whale.", - "A low standard of living.", - "A nuanced critique.", - "A bloody pacifier.", - "A crappy little hand.", - "Shaft.", - "Being a dinosaur.", - "Beating your wives.", - "Neil Patrick Harris.", - "Coughing into a vagina.", - "Carnies.", - "Nubile slave boys.", - "Bosnian chicken farmers.", - "A web of lies.", - "A rival dojo.", - "A passionate Latino lover.", - "Panty raids.", - "Appreciative snapping.", - "Apologizing.", - "Clams.", - "A woman scorned.", - "Being awesome at sex.", - "Spring break!", - "Another shot of morphine.", - "Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of \"Friends.\"", - "A soulful rendition of \"Ol' Man River.\"", - "Making a friend.", - "A sweaty, panting leather daddy.", - "Intimacy problems.", - "The new Radiohead album.", - "Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game®.", - "A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.", - "An army of skeletons.", - "A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.", - "Beefin' over turf.", - "The Google.", - "Bullshit.", - "A sweet spaceship.", - "A 55-gallon drum of lube.", - "Special musical guest, Cher.", - "The human body.", - "Mild autism.", - "Nunchuck moves.", - "Whipping a disobedient slave.", - "An ether-soaked rag.", - "Oncoming traffic.", - "A dollop of sour cream.", - "A slightly shittier parallel universe.", - "My first kill.", - "Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.", - "The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.", - "Tiny nipples.", - "Power.", - "Death by Steven Seagal.", - "A Burmese tiger pit.", - "Basic human decency.", - "Grandpa's ashes.", - "One Ring to rule them all.", - "The day the birds attacked.", - "Fetal alcohol syndrome.", - "Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.", - "A bigger, blacker dick.", - "The mere concept of Applebee's®.", - "A sad fat dragon with no friends.", - "A piñata full of scorpions.", - "Existing.", - "Hillary Clinton's death stare.", - "Catastrophic urethral trauma.", - "Double penetration.", - "Daddy's belt.", - "Swiftly achieving orgasm.", - "Mooing.", - "Rising from the grave.", - "Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.", - "Some really fucked-up shit.", - "Weapons-grade plutonium.", - "All of this blood.", - "Scrotal frostbite.", - "Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.", - "The mixing of the races.", - "Pumping out a baby every nine months.", - "Tongue.", - "Loki, the trickster god.", - "Whining like a little bitch.", - "Wearing an octopus for a hat.", - "An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.", - "Finding Waldo.", - "Upgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.", - "A magic hippie love cloud.", - "Fuck Mountain.", - "Living in a trashcan.", - "The corporations.", - "Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.", - "Jeff Goldblum.", - "Survivor's guilt.", - "Me.", - "All my friends dying.", - "Shutting the fuck up.", - "An ass disaster.", - "Some kind of bird-man.", - "The entire Internet.", - "Going around punching people.", - "A boo-boo.", - "Indescribable loneliness.", - "Having sex on top of a pizza.", - "Chugging a lava lamp.", - "Warm, velvety muppet sex.", - "Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere.", - "Nothing.", - "Samuel L. Jackson.", - "Self-flagellation.", - "The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.", - "The Quesadilla Explosion Salad™ from Chili's®.", - "Reverse cowgirl.", - "Vietnam flashbacks.", - "Actually getting shot, for real.", - "Not having sex.", - "Cock.", - "Dying alone and in pain.", - "A cop who is also a dog.", - "The way white people is.", - "Gay aliens.", - "The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.", - "A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.", - "A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint.", - "Slapping a racist old lady.", - "A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie.", - "Jumping out at people.", - "Three months in the hole.", - "Blood farts.", - "The Land of Chocolate.", - "A botched circumcision.", - "My manservant, Claude.", - "Vomiting mid-blowjob.", - "Letting everyone down.", - "Having shotguns for legs.", - "Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone.", - "Mufasa's death scene.", - "The Harlem Globetrotters.", - "Demonic possession.", - "Fisting.", - "The thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn.", - "Girls that always be textin'.", - "Blowing some dudes in an alley.", - "A spontaneous conga line.", - "A vagina that leads to another dimension.", - "Disco fever.", - "Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick.", - "Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs® to get fifty continuous hours of energy.", - "Sneezing, farting, and coming at the same time.", - "Some douche with an acoustic guitar.", - "Spending lots of money.", - "Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.", - "An unstoppable wave of fire ants.", - "A greased-up Matthew McConaughey.", - "Flying robots that kill people.", - "Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.", - "Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.", - "The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.", - "Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.", - "An all-midget production of Shakespeare's Richard III.", - "Screaming like a maniac.", - "Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.", - "A pile of squirming bodies.", - "Buying the right pants to be cool.", - "Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.", - "That ass.", - "A surprising amount of hair.", - "Eating Tom Selleck's mustache to gain his powers.", - "Velcro™.", - "A PowerPoint presentation.", - "Crazy opium eyes.", - "10 Incredible Facts About the Anus.", - "An interracial handshake.", - "Moderate-to-severe joint pain.", - "Finally finishing off the Indians.", - "Sugar madness.", - "Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.", - "The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction.", - "The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East.", - "Fucking a corpse back to life.", - "Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits.", - "Calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality.", - "Whatever a McRib® is made of.", - "No clothes on, penis in vagina.", - "All the single ladies.", - "Whispering all sexy.", - "How awesome I am.", - "Ass to mouth.", - "Smoking crack, for instance.", - "Falling into the toilet.", - "A dance move that's just sex.", - "The size of my penis.", - "Some sort of Asian.", - "A hopeless amount of spiders.", - "Party Mexicans.", - "Drinking responsibly.", - "The safe word.", - "Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.", - "Bouncing up and down.", - "Jizz.", - "Ambiguous sarcasm.", - "A shiny rock that proves I love you.", - "Dem titties.", - "My worthless son.", - "Exploding pigeons.", - "A Ugandan warlord.", - "My sex dungeon.", - "A kiss on the lips.", - "Child Protective Services.", - "A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.", - "Doo-doo.", - "The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China.", - "Sports.", - "A fart.", - "Unquestioning obedience.", - "Three consecutive seconds of happiness.", - "Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis.", - "Snorting coke off a clown's boner.", - "Africa.", - "Depression.", - "A horse with no legs.", - "The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.", - "Khakis.", - "Interspecies marriage.", - "A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.", - "Almost giving money to a homeless person.", - "Stuff a child's face with Fun Dip® until he starts having fun.", - "What Jesus would do.", - "A for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes.", - "Blackula.", - "The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real.", - "My dad's dumb fucking face.", - "Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa.", - "A manhole.", - "A sex goblin with a carnival penis.", - "A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.", - "A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness.", - "Sharks with legs.", - "Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other.", - "Lots and lots of abortions.", - "Seeing things from Hitler's perspective", - "Too much cocaine.", - "Doing the right stuff to her nipples.", - "Giant sperm from outer space.", - "Oil!", - "Ennui.", - "A powered exoskeleton.", - "A disappointing salad.", - "Mom's new boyfriend.", - "Unrelenting genital punishment.", - "Denzel.", - "The swim team, all at once.", - "The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion.", - "Being nine years old.", - "The unbelievable world of mushrooms.", - "The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle.", - "Vegetarian options.", - "My first period.", - "Having been dead for a while.", - "Backwards knees.", - "Being paralyzed from the neck down.", - "Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.", - "A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home.", - "A crazy little thing called love.", - "Ancient Athenian boy-fucking", - "Out-of-this-world bazongas.", - "The ghost of Marlon Brando.", - "The basic suffering that pervades all of existence.", - "Being worshipped as the one true God.", - "Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin.", - "All these decorative pillows.", - "A mouthful of potato salad.", - "Russian super-tuberculosis.", - "A reason not to commit suicide.", - "Going to a high school reunion on ketamine.", - "The passage of time.", - "Child support payments.", - "Changing a person's mind with logic and facts.", - "My boyfriend's stupid penis.", - "The tiger that killed my father.", - "Genghis Khan's DNA.", - "Boring vaginal sex.", - "40 acres and a mule.", - "A whole new kind of porn.", - "Slowly easing down onto a cucumber.", - "Wearing glasses and sounding smart.", - "AIDS monkeys.", - "A team of lawyers.", - "Getting drive-by shot.", - "Not believing in giraffes.", - "Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe.", - "A giant powdery manbaby.", - "Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears.", - "P.F. Chang himself.", - "An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation.", - "A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.", - "Daddy's credit card.", - "September 11th, 2001.", - "An unforgettable quinceañera.", - "Deez nuts.", - "Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion.", - "Some shit-hot guitar licks.", - "Butt stuff.", - "Blackface.", - "Blowjobs for everyone.", - "Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri.", - "Western standards of beauty.", - "Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry.", - "My dead son's baseball glove.", - "Getting caught by the police and going to jail.", - "A face full of horse cum.", - "Free ice cream, yo.", - "The white half of Barack Obama.", - "The black half of Barack Obama.", - "An inability to form meaningful relationships.", - "A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.", - "Growing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness.", - "Shitting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl.", - "A buttload of candy.", - "Sucking all the milk out of a yak.", - "Bullets.", - "A man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle.", - "Sudden penis loss.", - "Getting all offended.", - "Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti.", - "One unforgettable night of passion.", - "Being popular and good at sports.", - "Filling a man's anus with concrete.", - "Two whales fucking the shit out of eachother.", - "Cool, relateable cancer teens.", - "The amount of gay I am.", - "A possible Muslim.", - "Unsheathing my massive horse cock.", - "A bowl of gourds.", - "The male gaze.", - "The power of the Dark Side.", - "Ripping a dog in half.", - "A constant need for validation.", - "Meaningless sex.", - "Such a big boy.", - "Throwing stones at a man until he dies.", - "Cancer.", - "Like a million alligators.", - "Eating together like a god damn family for once.", - "Cute boys.", - "Pussy.", - "Being a terrible mother.", - "Never having sex again.", - "A pizza guy who fucked up.", - "A whole lotta woman.", - "The all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing!", - "A peyote-fueled vision quest.", - "Kale.", - "Breastfeeding a ten year old.", - "Crippling social anxiety.", - "Immortality cream.", - "Texas.", - "Teaching a girl how to handjob the penis.", - "A turd.", - "Shapes and colors.", - "Whatever you wish, mother.", - "The haunting stare of an Iraqi child.", - "Robots who just want to party.", - "A self-microwaving burrito.", - "Forgetting grandma's first name.", - "Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers®!", - "Treasures beyond your wildest dreams.", - "Getting shot out of a cannon.", - "The sweet song of sword against and the braying of mighty war beasts.", - "Walking into a glass door.", - "The color \"puce\".", - "Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body.", - "The eighth graders.", - "Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio.", - "The dentist.", - "Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.", - "Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels.", - "Rabies.", - "Important news about Taylor Swift.", - "Ejaculating inside another man's wife.", - "Owls, the perfect predator.", - "Being John Malkovich.", - "Bathing in moonsblood and dancing around the ancient oak.", - "An oppressed people with a vibrant culture.", - "An overwhelming variety of cheeses.", - "Reading the entire End-User License Agreement.", - "Morpheus.", - "Peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby.", - "Generally having no idea of what's going on.", - "No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.", - "10 football players with erections barreling towards you at full speed.", - "10,000 shrieking teenage girls.", - "A big ol' plate of fettuccine alfredo.", - "A big, beautiful mouth packed to the brim with sparkling teeth.", - "A black friend.", - "A burrito that's just sour cream.", - "A cheerfulness that belies a deep-seated self-loathing.", - "A cold and indifferent universe.", - "A creature made of penises that must constantly arouse itself to survive.", - "A creepy child singing a nursery rhyme.", - "A dolphin that learns to talk and becomes the Dead of Harvard Law School.", - "A duffel bag full of lizards.", - "A finger up the butt.", - "A genetic predisposition for alcoholism.", - "A gun that shoots cobras.", - "A hug.", - "A long business meeting with no obvious purpose.", - "A man in a suit with perfect hair who tells you beautiful lies.", - "A man with the head of a goat and the body of a goat.", - "A massive collection of child pornography.", - "A medium horchata.", - "A negative body image that is totally justified.", - "A slowly encroaching circle of wolves.", - "A strong horse and enough rations for thirty days.", - "A terrified fat child who won't come out of the bushes.", - "A tiny fireman who puts out tiny fires.", - "A weird guy who says weird stuff and weirds me out.", - "A woman's right to choose.", - "A woman's perspective.", - "Aborting the shit out of a fetus.", - "Albert Einstein but if he had a huge muscles and a rhinoceros cock.", - "All these people I've killed.", - "An arrangement wherein I give a person money they have sex with me.", - "An empowered woman.", - "An incurable homosexual.", - "An old dog full of tumors.", - "An older man.", - "An X-Man whose power is that he has sex with dogs and children.", - "Anal.", - "Antidepressants.", - "Art.", - "Assassinating the president.", - "Awesome pictures of planets and stuff.", - "Bad emotions I don't want.", - "Becoming the President of the United States.", - "Being sexually attracted to children.", - "Being turned into sausages.", - "Beyoncé.", - "Big, smart money boys tap-tapping on their keyboards.", - "Blossoming into a beautiful young woman.", - "Breastfeeding in public like a radiant earth goddess.", - "Brunch.", - "Catching a live salmon in your mouth.", - "Child labor.", - "China.", - "Chipotle.", - "Chris Hemsworth.", - "Comprehensive immigration reform.", - "Condoleezza Rice.", - "Consensual, nonreproductive incest.", - "Content.", - "Crazy anal orgasms.", - "Creamy slices of real, California avocado.", - "Critical thinking.", - "Crushing the patriarchy.", - "Daddy going away forever.", - "Defeating a gorilla in single combat.", - "Denying the Holocaust.", - "Dis bitch.", - "Discovering that what I really want in life is to kill people and have sex with their corpses.", - "Doing a somersault and barfing.", - "Dominating a man by peeing on his eldest son.", - "Doritos and a Fruit Roll-Up.", - "Dropping dead in a Sbarro's bathroom and not being found for 72 hours.", - "Dumpster juice.", - "Eating ass.", - "Eating people.", - "Eating too many Cinnabons and then vomiting and then eating the vomit.", - "Ejaculating at the apex of a cartwheel.", - "Esmeralda, my most beautiful daughter.", - "Eternal screaming madness.", - "Every man's ultimate fantasy: a perfectly cylindrical vagina.", - "Everything.", - "Exploring each other's buttholes.", - "Facilitating dialogue and deconstructing binaries.", - "Falling into a pit of waffles.", - "Farting a huge shit out of my pussy.", - "Farting all over my face with your tight little asshole.", - "Feeling the emotion of anger.", - "Feminism.", - "Film roles for actresses over 40.", - "Finding a nice elevator to poop in.", - "Forty-five minutes of finger blasting.", - "Founding a major world religion.", - "Fucking me good and taking me to Red Lobster®.", - "Fucking my therapist.", - "Gary.", - "Gay thoughts.", - "Gayle from HR.", - "Gazpacho.", - "Getting aborted.", - "Getting blasted in the face by a t-shirt cannon.", - "Getting eaten out by a dog.", - "Getting high with mom.", - "Getting killed and dragged up a tree by a leopard.", - "Getting laid like all the time.", - "Getting naked too soon.", - "Getting pegged.", - "Getting the Dorito crumbs out of my purse.", - "Getting this party started!", - "Getting trapped in a conversation about Ayn Rand.", - "Going around pulling people's tampons out.", - "Going to bed at a reasonable hour.", - "Gregor, my largest son.", - "Grunting for ten minutes and then peeing sand.", - "Guns.", - "Happy daddies with happy sandals.", - "Hating Jews.", - "Having a vagina.", - "Having an awesome time drinking and driving.", - "Having sex with a beautiful person.", - "Having sex with a man and then eating his head.", - "Having sex with your mom.", - "Holding the proper political beliefs of my time to attract a mate.", - "Homework.", - "Hot lettuce.", - "How good lead paint taste.", - "How great my ass looks in these jeans.", - "How sad it will be when Morgan Freeman dies.", - "How strange it is to be anything at all.", - "Huge big balls full of jizz.", - "Informing you that I am a registered sex offender.", - "ISIS.", - "It being too late to stop having sex with a horse.", - "Jason, the teen mayor.", - "Jazz.", - "Just now finding out about the Armenian Genocide.", - "Late-stage dementia.", - "Libertarians.", - "Loud, scary thunder.", - "Making out and stuff.", - "Math.", - "Meatloaf, the food.", - "Meatloaf, the man.", - "Menopause.", - "Mental illness.", - "Microaggressions.", - "Misogyny.", - "Mixing M&Ms and Skittles like some kind of psychopath.", - "Mommy and daddy fighting all the time.", - "Moon people.", - "Muchin' puss.", - "My brother's hot friends.", - "My dog dying.", - "My huge penis and substantial fortune.", - "Objectifying women.", - "One of them big-city Jew lawyers.", - "One of those \"blow jobs\" I've been hearing so much about.", - "Onions.", - "Opening your mouth to talk and a big penis fops out.", - "Our baby.", - "Out-of-control teenage blowjob parties.", - "Overthrowing the democratically-elected government of Chile.", - "Participating.", - "Period poops.", - "Picking up a glass of water and taking a sip and being the president.", - "Playing my asshole like a trumpet.", - "Plowing that ass like a New England corn farmer.", - "Political correctness.", - "Pooping in a leotard and hoping no one notices.", - "Pooping in the potty.", - "Prematurely ejaculating like a total loser.", - "Pretending to be one of the guys but actually being the spider god.", - "Putting more black people in jail.", - "Quacking like a duck in lieu of a cogent argument.", - "Quinoa.", - "Raising three kids on minimum wage.", - "Reaching an age where barbecue chips are better than sex.", - "Regurgitating a half-digested sparrow.", - "Restoring Germany to its former glory.", - "Rock-hard tits and a huge vagina.", - "Rolling so hard.", - "Rubbing my bush all over your bald head.", - "Salsa Night at Dave's Cantina.", - "Scissoring, if that's a thing.", - "Seizing control of the means of production.", - "Self-identifying as a DJ.", - "Showing all the boys my pussy.", - "Slamming a dunk.", - "Smashing my balls at the moment of climax.", - "Some of that good dick.", - "Some real spicy shrimps.", - "Starting a shitty podcast.", - "Straight blazin' 24/7.", - "Sucking each other's penises for hours on end.", - "Sudden and unwanted slam poetry.", - "Swearing praise upon the Sultan's hideous daughters.", - "Systems and policies designed to preserve centuries-old power structures.", - "Tables.", - "Taking the form of a falcon.", - "Tender chunks of all-white-meat chicken.", - "That bitch, Stacy.", - "The amount of baby carrots I can fit up my ass.", - "The best, deepest quotes from The Dark Knight.", - "The body of a 46-year-old man.", - "The bond between a woman and her horse.", - "The chicken from Popeyes®.", - "The clown that followed me home from the grocery store.", - "The fear and hatred in men's hearts.", - "The feeling of going to McDonald's as a 6-year-old.", - "The flaming wreckage of the International Space Station.", - "The full blown marginalization of ugly people.", - "The full force of the American military.", - "The government.", - "The graceful path of an autumn leaf as it falls to its earthen cradle.", - "The hottest MILF in Dallas.", - "The LGBT community.", - "The lived experience of African Americans.", - "The mysterious fog rolling into town.", - "The ol' penis-in-the-popcorn surprise.", - "The Rwandan Genocide.", - "The secret to truly resilient hair.", - "The sweet, forbidden meat of the monkey.", - "The wind.", - "Thinking about what eating even is.", - "Three hours of nonstop penetration.", - "Tiny, rancid girl farts.", - "Trees.", - "Trevor, the world's greatest boyfriend.", - "Turning 32.", - "Twenty bucks.", - "Twenty cheerleaders laughing at your tiny penis.", - "Twisting my cock and balls into a balloon poodle.", - "Two beautiful pig sisters.", - "Two shitty kids and a garbage husband.", - "Waking up inside of a tornado.", - "Watching a hot person eat.", - "Watching you die.", - "Water.", - "When the big truck goes \"Toot! Toot!\"", - "Who really did 9/11.", - "Whomsoever let the dogs out.", - "Whooping your ass at Mario Kart.", - "Working so hard to have muscles and then having them.", - "You.", - "Several Michael Keatons.", - "A bus that will explode if it goes under 50 miles per hour.", - "Sucking the President's dick.", - "Sunny D! Alright!", - "A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, and my libido.", - "Log™.", - "Jerking off to a 10-second RealMedia clip.", - "The Y2K bug.", - "Deregulating the mortgage market.", - "Stabbing the shit out of a Capri Sun.", - "Wearing Nicolas Cage's face.", - "Freeing Willy.", - "Kurt Cobain's death.", - "The Great Cornholio.", - "Liking big butts and not being able to lie about it.", - "Yelling \"girl power!\" and doing a high kick.", - "Pure Moods, Vol. 1.", - "Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time.", - "Pamela Anderson's boobs running in slow motion.", - "Getting caught up in the CROSSFIRE™.", - "Angels interfering in an otherwise fair baseball game.", - "Cool 90s up-in-the-front hair.", - "Patti Mayonnaise.", - "The biggest, blackest dick.", - "A box within a box.", - "A boxing match with a giant box.", - "A box.", - "Pandora's vagina.", - "Former President George W. Box.", - "Being a motherfucking box.", - "A falcon with a box on its head.", - "Two midgets shitting into a box.", - "A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid.", - "The J15 Patriot Assault Box.", - "An alternate universe in which boxes store things inside of people.", - "A box that is conscious and wishes it weren't a box.", - "Something that looks like a box but turns out to be a crate.", - "A man-shaped box.", - "A box-shaped man.", - "Boxing up my feelings.", - "A world without boxes.", - "The Boxcar Children.", - "An outbreak of smallbox.", - "A box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer.", - "A CGI dragon.", - "A dwarf who won't leave you alone until you compare penis sizes.", - "A gay sorcerer who turns everyone gay.", - "A ghoul.", - "A Hitachi Magic Wand.", - "A magical kingdom with dragons and elves and no black people.", - "A mysterious, floating orb.", - "A weed elemental who gets everyone high.", - "Accidentally conjuring a legless horse that can't stop ejaculating.", - "Bathing naked in a moonlit grove.", - "Dinosaurs who wear armor and you ride them and they kick ass.", - "Eternal darkness.", - "Freaky, pan-dimensional sex with a demigod.", - "Gender equality.", - "Going on an epic adventure and learning a valuable lesson about friendship.", - "Handcuffing a wizard to a radiator and dousing him with kerosene.", - "Hodor.", - "How hot Orlando Bloom was in Lord of the Rings.", - "Kneeing a wizard in the balls.", - "Make-believe stories for autistic white men,", - "Reading The Hobbit under the covers while mom and dad scream at each other downstairs.", - "Shitting in a wizard's spell book and jizzing in his hat.", - "Shooting a wizard with a gun.", - "The all-seeing Eye of Sauron.", - "The card game Neil Gaiman wrote: \"Three elves at a time.\"", - "True love's kiss.", - "A sobering quantity of chili cheese fries.", - "Going vegetarian and feeling so great all the time.", - "Kale farts.", - "Licking the cake batter off of grandma's fingers.", - "Real cheese flavor.", - "Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man.", - "The Dial-A-Slice Apple Divider from Williams-Sonoma.", - "What to do with all of this chocolate on my penis.", - "A belly full of hard-boiled eggs.", - "A joyless vegan patty.", - "A table for one at The Cheesecake Factory.", - "Being emotionally and physically dominated by Gordon Ramsay.", - "Kevin Bacon Bits.", - "Not knowing what to believe anymore about butter.", - "Soup that's better than pussy.", - "Sucking down thousands of pounds of krill every day.", - "A Mexican child trapped inside of a burrito.", - "Clamping down on a gazelle's jugular and tasting its warm life waters.", - "Committing suicide at the Old Country Buffet.", - "Father's forbidden chocolates.", - "Jizz Twinkies.", - "The Hellman's Mayonnaise Corporation.", - "The hot dog I put in my vagina ten days ago.", - "The inaudible screams of carrots.", - "A supermassive black hole.", - "Reconciling quantum theory with general relativity.", - "Electroejaculating a capuchin monkey.", - "Insufficient serotonin.", - "Evolving a labyrinthine vagina.", - "Getting really worried about global warming for a few seconds.", - "Infinity.", - "Oxytocin release via manual stimulation of the nipples.", - "Uranus.", - "Being knowledgeable in a narrow domain that nobody understands or cares about.", - "Achieving reproductive success.", - "Slowly evaporating.", - "The quiet majesty of the sea turtle.", - "A 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio.", - "Fun and interesting facts about rocks.", - "Photosynthesis.", - "Developing secondary sex characteristics.", - "Failing the Turing test.", - "Explosive decompression.", - "Driving into a tornado to learn about tornadoes.", - "David Attenborough watching us mate.", - "3.7 billion years of evolution.", - "The Sun engulfing the Earth.", - "A complete inability to understand anyone else's perspective.", - "A fun, sexy time at the nude beach.", - "A man from Craigslist.", - "A night of Taco Bell and anal sex.", - "A respectful discussion of race and gender on the Internet.", - "Cat massage.", - "Destroying Dick Cheney's last horcrux.", - "Game of Thrones spoilers.", - "Getting teabagged by a fifth grader in Call of Duty.", - "Goats screaming like people.", - "Googling.", - "Internet porn analysis paralysis.", - "Matching with Mom on Tinder.", - "My browser history.", - "My privileged white penis.", - "Pretending to be black.", - "Smash Mouth.", - "Taking a shit while running at full speed.", - "That thing on the Internet everyone's talking about.", - "Three years of semen in a shoebox.", - "YouTube comments.", - "The Bernie Sanders revolution.", - "Letting Bernie Sanders rest his world-weary head on your lap.", - "A beautiful, ever-expanding circle of inclusivity that will never include Republicans.", - "Black lives mattering.", - "Donald Trump holding his nose while he eats pussy.", - "The fact that Hillary Clinton is a woman.", - "Kicking the middle class in the balls with a regressive tax code.", - "Keeping the government out of my vagina.", - "The systematic disenfranchisement of black voters.", - "Increasing economic and political polarization", - "Eating the president's pussy.", - "Actually voting for Donald Trump to be President of the actual United States.", - "A liberal bias.", - "Hating Hillary Clinton.", - "Growing up and becoming a Republican.", - "Courageously going ahead with that racist comment.", - "Dispelling this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing.", - "Jeb!", - "The good, hardworking people of Dubuque, Iowa.", - "Conservative talking points.", - "Shouting the loudest", - "Sound of fiscal policy.", - "Full-on socialism.", - "A legitimate reason to commit suicide.", - "A back-alley abortion from a Mexican cyborg doctor.", - "Whipping lower-class white men into a xenophobic frenzy.", - "Rage.", - "Trying to remember what music was.", - "Roaming through a wasteland of windblown trash and deserted highways.", - "Bringing millions of dangerous low-paying manufacturing jobs back to America.", - "A gnawing sense of dread.", - "Drinking urine to survive.", - "Nuclear winter.", - "President Donald Trump.", - "Casual dismissiveness.", - "Extra rations for my little girl.", - "World Wars 3 through 5.", - "Finding out that democracy might not be such a great idea.", - "Mild amusement.", - "Burying my only son.", - "The purging of the disloyal.", - "Trying to wake up from this nightmare.", - "A father and son fighting each other over the last scrap of bread.", - "Making Islam illegal.", - "Desperately hurling insults at Donald Trump as he absorbs them into his rapidly expanding body.", - "Santa's heavy sack.", - "Clearing a bloody path through Walmart with a scimitar.", - "Another shitty year.", - "Whatever Kwanzaa is supposed to be about.", - "A Christmas stocking full of coleslaw.", - "Elf cum.", - "The tiny, calloused hands of the Chinese children that made this card.", - "Taking down Santa with a surface-to-air missle.", - "Several intertwining love stories featuring Hugh Grant.", - "Mall Santa.", - "My hot cousin.", - "The Star Wars Holiday Special.", - "Krampus, the Austrian Christmas monster.", - "Pretending to be happy.", - "Socks.", - "Eating an entire snowman.", - "A toxic family environment.", - "A visually arresting turtleneck.", - "Fucking up \"Silent Night\" in front of 300 parents.", - "Immaculate conception.", - "Space Jam on VHS.", - "Gift-wrapping a live hamster.", - "A Hungry-Man™ Frozen Christmas Dinner for One.", - "Swapping bodies with mom for a day.", - "Making up for 10 years of shitty parenting with a PlayStation.", - "Finding out that Santa isn't real.", - "Slicing a ham in icy silence.", - "The shittier, Jewish version of Christmas.", - "The Hawaiian goddess Kapo and her flying detachable vagina.", - "Having a strong opinion about Obamacare.", - "The royal afterbirth.", - "Congress's flaccid penises withering away beneath their suit pants.", - "Piece of shit Christmas cards with no money in them.", - "Moses gargling Jesus's balls while Shiva and the Buddha penetrate his divine hand holes.", - "Giving money and personal information to strangers on the Internet.", - "These low, low prices!", - "A magical tablet containing a world of unlimited pornography.", - "People with cake in their mouths talking about how good cake is.", - "Jizzing into Santa's beard.", - "A simultaneous nightmare and wet dream starring Sigourney Weaver.", - "Being blind and deaf and having no limbs.", - "Rudolph's bright red balls.", - "The Grinch's musty, cum-stained pelt.", - "Breeding elves for their priceless semen.", - "Paying the iron price.", - "Jiggle physics.", - "Rotating shapes in mid-air so that they fit into other shapes when they fall.", - "Firefly: Season 2.", - "Getting bitch slapped by Dhalsim.", - "Casting Magic Missile at a bully.", - "Running out of stamina.", - "An immediately regrettable $9 hot dog from the Boston Convention Center.", - "The rocket launcher.", - "Sharpening a foam broadsword on a foam whetstone.", - "Loading from a previous save.", - "The depression that ensues after catching 'em all.", - "Violating the First Law of Robotics.", - "Getting inside the Horadric Cube with a hot babe and pressing the transmute button.", - "Punching a tree to gather wood.", - "Spending the year's insulin budget on Warhammer 40k figurines.", - "Forgetting to eat, and consequently dying.", - "Wil Wheaton crashing an actual spaceship.", - "The Klobb.", - "Charging up all the way.", - "Vespene gas.", - "Judging elves by the color of their skin and not by the content of their character.", - "Smashing all the pottery in a Pottery Barn in search of rupees.", - "Achieving 500 actions per minute.", - "Full HD.", - "The gravity gun.", - "Reading the comments.", - "70,000 gamers sweating and farting inside an airtight steel dome.", - "The Cock Ring of Alacrity.", - "Yoshi's huge egg-laying cloaca.", - "A homemade, cum-stained Star Trek uniform.", - "Offering sexual favors for an ore and a sheep.", - "Mario Kart rage.", - "Bowser's aching heart.", - "An angry stone head that stomps on the floor every three seconds.", - "Nude-modding Super Mario World.", - "Temporary invincibility.", - "Being an attractive elf trapped in an unattractive human's body.", - "Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt™ with pizza.", - "The Sarlacc.", - "Achieving the manual dexterity and tactical brilliance of a 12-year-old Korean boy.", - "Allowing nacho cheese to curdle in your beard while you creep in League of Legends.", - "The collective wail of every Magic player suddenly realizing that they've spent hundreds of dollars on pieces of cardboard.", - "Rolling a D20 to save a failing marriage.", - "Legendary Creature – Robert Khoo.", - "Winning the approval of Cooking Mama that you never got from actual mama.", - "Never watching, discussing, or thinking about My Little Pony.", - "Turn-of-the-century sky racists.", - "Unlocking a new sex position.", - "The boner hatch in the Iron Man suit.", - "Buying virtual clothes for a Sim family instead of real clothes for a real family.", - "Google Glass + e-cigarette: Ultimate Combo!", - "The decade of legal inquests following a single hour of Grand Theft Auto.", - "A fully-dressed female videogame character.", - "Getting into a situation with an owlbear.", - "Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam!", - "Tapping Sara Angel.", - "Eating a pizza that's lying on the street to gain health.", - "SNES cartridge cleaning fluid.", - "A madman who lives in a policebox and kidnaps women.", - "Grand Theft Auto: Fort Lauderdale.", - "Mistakenly hitting on a League of Legends statue.", - "Ser Jorah Mormont's cerulean-blue balls.", - "The old gods.", - "Stuffing my balls into a Sega Genesis and pressing the power button.", - "Attacking from Kamchatka.", - "Separate drinking fountains for dark elves.", - "Lagging out.", - "Getting bitten by a radioactive spider and then battling leukemia for 30 years.", - "A giant mechanical bird with a tragic backstory.", - "The pure, Zen-like state that exists between micro and macro.", - "Xena, Warrior Princess.", - "Endless ninjas.", - "Whatever Final Fantasy bullshit happened this year.", - "Collecting all seven power crystals.", - "KHAAAAAAAAAN!", - "Futuristic death sports.", - "The imagination of Peter Jackson.", - "Demons and shit.", - "All of the good times and premium gaming entertainment available to you in the Kickstarter room.", - "A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else.", - "Taking 2d6 emotional damage.", - "The Star Wars Universe.", - "Exciting content!", - "Rubbing chocolate pudding all over Bill Cosby's nipples.", - "What The Rock was really cooking.", - "Stepping on a god damn friggin' LEGO.", - "All this liquid in my mouth.", - "Giving a dolphin a handjob for science.", - "A floor that is literally made of lava.", - "A neck beard that is 10% cheese.", - "Pelvic sorcery.", - "Pooping as quietly as possible.", - "The beautiful sport of Turkish oil wrestling.", - "No survivors.", - "Go Fuck Yourself.", - "Forcing a handjob on a dying man.", - "A homoerotic subplot.", - "An origami swan that's some kind of symbol?", - "25 shitty jokes about House of Cards.", - "My constituents.", - "Punching a congressman in the face.", - "Strangling a dog to make a point to the audience.", - "A childless marriage.", - "A much younger woman.", - "Getting eaten out while on the phone with Dad.", - "Making it look like a suicide.", - "Carbon monoxide poisoning.", - "Discharging a firearm in a residential area.", - "Ribs so good they transcend race and class.", - "The sensitive European photographer who's fucking my wife.", - "My dick in your mouth.", - "Corn.", - "Carribbean Jesus.", - "Super yoga.", - "Ladles.", - "Ejaculating a pound of tinsel.", - "A heart that is two sizes too small and that therefore cannot pump an adequate amount of blood.", - "The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation.", - "Dividing by zero.", - "Playing an ocarina to summon Ultra-Congress from the sea.", - "Asshole pomegranates that are hard to eat.", - "Becoming so rich that you shed your body and turn to vapor.", - "Faking a jellyfish sting so someone will pee on you.", - "A sexy naked interactive theater thing.", - "A giant squid in a wedding gown.", - "Crawling into a vagina.", - "A dick so big and so black that not even light can escape its pull.", - "A double murder suicide barbeque.", - "A primordial soup and salad bar.", - "A stack of bunnies in a trenchcoat.", - "At least three ducks.", - "Becoming engorged with social justice jelly and secreting a thinkpiece.", - "Being the absolute worst.", - "Disco Mussolini.", - "Greg Kinnear's terrible lightning breath.", - "Mitt Romney's eight sons Kip, Sam, Trot, Fergis, Toolshed, Grisham, Hawkeye, and Thorp.", - "Mr. and Mrs. Tambourine Man's jingle-jangle morning sex.", - "Mushy tushy.", - "Ringo Starr & His All-Starr Band.", - "Sandwich.", - "Saving the Rainforest Cafe.", - "Sir Thomas More's Fruitopia™.", - "Sweating it out on the streets of a runaway American Dream.", - "That one leftover screw.", - "That thing politicians do with their thumbs when they talk.", - "The spooky skeleton under my skin.", - "The token lesbian.", - "These dolphins.", - "Three hairs from the silver-golden head of Galadriel.", - "Water so cold it turned into a rock.", - "Poutine.", - "Newfies.", - "The Official Languages Act. La Loi sur les langues officielles.", - "Terry Fox's prosthetic leg.", - "The FLQ.", - "Canada: America's Hat.", - "Don Cherry's wardrobe.", - "Burning down the White House.", - "Heritage minutes.", - "Homo milk.", - "Naked News.", - "Mr. Dressup.", - "Syrupy sex with a maple tree.", - "Being Canadian.", - "Snotsicles.", - "The Famous Five.", - "Schmirler the Curler.", - "Stephen Harper.", - "A Molson muscle.", - "The Royal Canadian Mounted Police.", - "An icy handjob from an Edmonton hooker.", - "A fuck-mothering vampire.", - "Tentacle rape.", - "FUNimation.", - "Narutards.", - "Dead catgirls.", - "Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.", - "Mewtwo.", - "Cowboy Bebop.", - "Fullmetal Alchemist.", - "Futanari.", - "Vash the Stampede.", - "Sarah Fuckin' Palin.", - "Naruto.", - "Idiots who don't seem to realize that Avatar: The Last Airbender isn't really an anime.", - "A fat middle-aged man in a Sailor Moon costume.", - "Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series.", - "OVER 9000!!", - "Aya Hirano being gang-banged by her entire band.", - "\". . . .\"", - "A mindfuck.", - "A Hello Kitty! vibrator.", - "The Death Note.", - "Being eaten by a titan.", - "The Hare Hare Yukai dance.", - "Getting your penis cut in half.", - "Cousin marriage.", - "4Kids.", - "Watching FLCL while tripping on acid.", - "Sticking your finger up her ass.", - "Standing outside the gates of the White House completely naked with a revolver in your hand.", - "Catholic priests who drink, smoke, and carry guns.", - "Your virgin soul.", - "Engrish.", - "A dead meme.", - "Twincest.", - "Drills for hands.", - "Asian cock.", - "Holy dildos.", - "Lolis.", - "Hot-blooded shonen protagonists.", - "Crispin Freeman.", - "Steve Motherfuckin' Blum.", - "Norio Wakamoto.", - "Eating an entire box of Pocky in a single bite.", - "Gen Fukunaga counting his money.", - "Hatsune Miku.", - "Strangling hardcore otaku nerds with razor wire.", - "A big-breasted 14-year-old wearing a bikini and sucking on a popsicle.", - "Henry Goto being savagely raped by a bear.", - "Yet another goddamn Goku vs. Superman argument.", - "FANSERVICE!!!", - "Weeaboos.", - "Aniplex of America.", - "Kyubey.", - "Wearing panties on the head.", - "Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing.", - "CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES.", - "Brina Palencia as an angsty teenage boy, Monica Rial as his bratty little sister, and Shelley Calene-Black as their hot mom.", - "Boku no Pico.", - "Nice boat.", - "A Bleach hentai doujin where Rukia rapes Ichigo.", - "The One Piece rap.", - "CENTURY SOOOOUUUP!!!!!", - "Stupid fucking Kululu.", - "Thinking Misty from Pokémon is... kinda sexy.", - "The Gripper.", - "Reverse harems.", - "Garzey's Wing.", - "Kenshiro.", - "Puella Magi Madoka Magica.", - "Taking a potato chip... and EATING IT.", - "Unreasonably long transformation sequences.", - "Ass dance!! Ass dance!!", - "Rice balls.", - "Monkey D. Luffy.", - "JesuOtaku's ginormous lips.", - "Princess Tutu.", - "Fujiko's boobs.", - "Shinji being a whiny little bitch.", - "Third Impact.", - "Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivruski IV.", - "That sound effect in every hentai when the guy ejaculates.", - "Red-headed tsunderes.", - "Wendee Lee.", - "Prof's legs.", - "\"Bang.\"", - "Dio Brando.", - "\"WE UNDERSTAND ANIME FAN WANTS!!\"", - "DAN GREEN.", - "Man-Faye.", - "Soldier A.", - "Goku.", - "Vic Micderpaderp.", - "Hokuto! Hyakurestu-ken!", - "Christopher R. Sabat.", - "PASTAAAAA!!!!", - "MAWNING LESCUE!!!", - "$300 anime bluray boxsets.", - "Johnny Yong Bosch.", - "Little Kuriboh.", - "Bukkake.", - "A Captain Harlock body pillow.", - "Onii-chan.", - "Bulma's panties.", - "Mami getting her head bitten off.", - "Satoshi Kon.", - "A Japanese schoolgirl covered head-to-toe in semen.", - "Good ol' fashioned Japanese sexism.", - "Kigurumi.", - "Ikki Tousen.", - "Apocalypse Zero.", - "The inevitable beach episode.", - "The thousands upon thousands of women that Golgo 13 has slept with.", - "Kira worshippers.", - "Old man dragon dick.", - "Uguu...", - "Whatever the hell the Utena movie was about.", - "Creamy Mami.", - "The ungodly abomination that is Robotech.", - "Carl Macek.", - "Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt.", - "Punching a man so hard his clothes fly off.", - "Banana sushi.", - "Oro?", - "A puppy being beaten to death with a flower pot.", - "Gantz. Just.... Gantz.", - "Snapping the nipple off of a prostitute's breast and eating it.", - "Black cosplayers.", - "Fake Nendoroids.", - "Eating ramen noodles for a month because you HAD to have that out of print Macross boxset.", - "Showing Serial Experiments Lain to toddlers.", - "Mamoru Miyano.", - "TETSUOOOOOO!!!", - "Wibble.", - "That stupid opening song from Steel Angel Kurumi getting stuck in your head.", - "Bad K-on! fanart.", - "Nerdy kids in Speedos.", - "My Cresta.", - "Groping strangers on a train.", - "Fuckin' Bronies.", - "An overly defensive fanbase.", - "Recap episodes.", - "Muscle-bound shirtless MEN.", - "Cartoon buttholes.", - "Sucking Kyle Hebert's dick for hamburgers.", - "Gratuitous panty shots.", - "Sailor Moon and the 7 Ballz.", - "El Psy Congroo.", - "Moe Moe Kyun!", - "Home For Infinite Losers (HFIL).", - "THE MAN-POLE OF DOOOOOOOOOM!!!", - "Ladd Russo.", - "Studio Ghibli.", - "Masa! <3", - "Giant robots.", - "Osamu Tezuka.", - "A \"read the manga\" style ending.", - "Tits on your hand.", - "That little fat kid from Accel World.", - "Casca's hairy unshaven vag.", - "Girls with glasses.", - "Eating the wrong end of a chocolate cornet.", - "Walpurgisnacht.", - "Bludgeoning Haruhi Suzumiya to death with a tire iron.", - "Banging 1,000 dudes.", - "Pure grade-A opium.", - "Maid cafes.", - "A drunken Japanese businessman.", - "Dr. Who fans showing up at anime cons despite not being invited.", - "Guro.", - "Nekomimi.", - "Plot armor.", - "School swimsuits.", - "The inkvasion.", - "Acidic breast milk.", - "Underpants. Underpants. Underpants. Underpants. Under-", - "Shooting out nearly an entire liter of cum.", - "Host clubs.", - "Shining Finger!", - "Crystal Boy's creepy smile.", - "Gackt.", - "Used panty vending machines.", - "Butt sniffing.", - "Kamen Rider.", - "The Major's hips and bust.", - "Captain Bravo.", - "Kirino's ass.", - "Fishcake.", - "Go Nagai sideburns.", - "CHIIIIIIIIN.", - "Getting the bad ending of a visual novel.", - "Vegeta's sweet goatee.", - "Sub-only releases.", - "Getting drunk on sake.", - "Flying Vortex of Fear.", - "Tachikoma-kun.", - "Naoki Urasawa.", - "Stupid sexy Johan.", - "Bear punching, tiger chopping, shark suplexing, & helicopter bodyslamming.", - "Juvijuvibro.", - "Jacuzzi Splot.", - "The Tsukihime anime.", - "Giant naked Rei.", - "The entire cast of School Days.", - "An arm and a leg.", - "The power of friendship.", - "Being the uke.", - "You dumbass!", - "Super Milk-chan.", - "Dancin' on the Planet Dance.", - "Calling out the name of your attack.", - "Multi-episode fights.", - "Making someone's head explode.", - "Michelle Ru- er, I mean... \"Sophie Roberts.\"", - "Masturbating over Asuka's comatose body.", - "Let's Fighting Love!", - "Fat, sweaty otaku.", - "Ganguro girls.", - "Girls with guns.", - "The goddamn Maho.", - "Darrel Guilbeau trying to act.", - "Highschool of the Dead.", - "M.D. Geist.", - "Blue Water Studios.", - "Hot female bass players.", - "Magical girls.", - "Black?Star", - "Goku, Luffy, Toriko, and Lina Inverse in an eating contest.", - "You cactus bastard!", - "KING!!! KING!!! KING GAINER!!! *does the Monkey*", - "Sexy schoolteacher types.", - "Underwater Ray Romano.", - "Lesbian subtext.", - "Tig ol' bitties.", - "Inspector Zenigata.", - "The GARtender.", - "Pure fighting spirit.", - "Mad Bull 34.", - "Freddie riding to school on a wild black stallion.", - "Whatever turns you on, big guy.", - "I'LL ANSWER THE PHONE FROM NOW ON, LILY!!", - "KITTEH. :3", - "Manly tears of manliness.", - "Zetman.", - "Giant mutant cockroaches.", - "Bible Black.", - "Rape fantasies.", - "Keith David's voice.", - "Scott McNeil.", - "The eternal pervert, Eric Vale.", - "The Irresponsible Captain Tylor.", - "Birdy the Mighty.", - "Prying SpacemanHardy's Master Keaton boxset from his cold, dead hands.", - "R-R-R-R-R-REDLINE!!!", - "Hunting down every single copy of Ninja Resurrection and setting them on fire.", - "Satan worshipping Christians.", - "Being beaten to a bloody pulp by a middle school student.", - "One HELL of a butler.", - "Losing 20 gallons of blood... and surviving.", - "Badass 15-year-olds.", - "The Shikon Jewel.", - "A large paper fan.", - "Having blackmail sex with your teacher.", - "Anime News Network.", - "A Claymore swimsuit issue.", - "Revy Two-Hands.", - "Sneaking a peek at the girls' open bath.", - "\"INUYASHA!!\" \"KAGOME!!\"", - "Gangnam Style.", - "MUNGLE!! *shakes fist*", - "A samurai terminator.", - "Physics.", - "The Animatrix.", - "A talking motorcycle.", - "Rie Kugimiya.", - "Production I.G.", - "GONZO.", - "Franky's awesome Speedo dance.", - "Soul traveling.", - "Sticking a chopstick in your pee-hole.", - "A copy of Trigun signed by Micah Solusod.", - "Really shitty CGI effects.", - "The hot buttered sex voice of Patrick Seitz.", - "Heavily-tattooed yakuza henchmen.", - "The life-sized Gundam statue.", - "Forcing someone to watch every episode of Dragon Ball GT.", - "ZA WARUDO.", - "Governor Ishihara.", - "Shrine maidens.", - "Taking a shit in the shrine's donation box.", - "Farting... tadpoles?", - "Madhouse.", - "ARMS.", - "Mr. Tadakichi.", - "Showing episodes of Toriko to starving children.", - "Gilgamesh.", - "That one guy who always dresses up as the Red Ranger.", - "Broken-ass Aizen.", - "Romi Paku.", - "The Garden of Sinners.", - "1,000 years of pain.", - "Hetalia porn.", - "A Maka Chop.", - "Rally Vincent firing a gun in her underwear.", - "Raccoon testicles.", - "Johannes Krauser II.", - "Rule 63'd Death the Kid.", - "Beautiful bishonen boys.", - "Awesome Prussia.", - "Eating a banana all sexy-like.", - "A shitload of yen.", - "Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora! Ora!", - "Getting in a fistfight with an earthquake.", - "WcDonald's.", - "Black★Star", - "Octopus balls.", - "My badass numchucks.", - "Trying to get your die-cast Gundam model through airport security.", - "Strapping hand grenades to your pubes.", - "Toilet worship.", - "A brand new, mint condition copy of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure vol. 4, still in shrinkwrap.", - "Grave of the Fireflies.", - "Farting on your cat.", - "Combat afros.", - "Ice cold water (and it's only a dollar).", - "Me wearing a penguin suit.", - "My Johnny!", - "Petite Princess Yucie.", - "Kotetsu T. Kaburagi, aka. \"The D.I.L.F.\"", - "An argument lasting over an hour about what moé really is.", - "Saber Starblast.", - "A succubus living inside your testes.", - "Raping Tokyo Tower.", - "Fucking a nun.", - "#DesuDes4Life.", - "Ghosts that come out of your asscrack.", - "Being accidentally turned into a girl by aliens.", - "Giving a girl an orgasm using only your shoulderpads.", - "Swallowing an entire carton of cigarettes before barfing them back up.", - "Puppets made from the skin of children.", - "My hot zombie girlfriend..", - "Eating someone else's drool.", - "The alpha bitch.", - "Undead body-swapping space vampire teens.", - "Suplexing your teacher.", - "A leopard print fundoshi.", - "Breast envy.", - "The entire last episode of Blood-C.", - "Origami sex toys.", - "ALL OF THE HOMO!", - "Japanese rope bondage.", - "Japanese Spider-Man.", - "A bass guitar straight to the face.", - "Sonny Strait's manly parts.", - "Guts.", - "Finger nigiri.", - "Dragon Balls.", - "Putting all the condiments on your steak. ALL OF THEM.", - "Rapping samurai.", - "A dolphin in a mech suit.", - "Naga's extremely annoying laugh.", - "Strikeman and his \"Balls of Justice\".", - "Flying Nimbus.", - "Running during the credits.", - "A busty, blonde, blue-eyed, dumb-as-rocks American.", - "Naughty geishas.", - "Griffith's mysterious disappearing penis.", - "Pubic hair needle attack.", - "Ninjas!", - "Getting your fingernails ripped out.", - "Sexy jutsu.", - "Love Machine.", - "Shinichiro Watanabe single-handedly curing cancer, ending world hunger, and bringing peace to the Middle East.", - "Henry Goto ending up homeless on the streets and sucking dick for coke.", - "Two gallons of elephant shit being dropped on Henry Goto's desk.", - "Henry Goto fapping to a photograph of himself.", - "Henry Goto being eaten by a group of backwoods hillbilly cannibals.", - "Henry Goto bleeding profusely from his groin after having his penis bitten off by a 15-year-old Vietnamese prostitute.", - "A 30-year-old man who's obsessed with K-on!", - "Henry Goto falling down the stairs, receiving a massive head injury, and believing he's really Sailor Moon.", - "A Henry Goto joke that no one will laugh at other than SpacemanHardy.", - "Cutting off a finger to restore your honor.", - "Robots with tits.", - "Red bean paste.", - "Gender-swapped Oda Nobunaga.", - "Henry Goto's massive peyote & wine cooler addiction.", - "Henry Goto, John Sirabella, and Stu Levy in a three man fight to the death.", - "Henry Goto.", - "Henry Goto having an accident in his pants during the live Aniplex of America panel.", - "Getting kicked in the nuts by a mermaid.", - "I AM AWESOME!!", - "LAZAR!", - "Urd, Kana, and Misato in a drinking contest.", - "Cute stuff.", - "An artbox that feels like human skin.", - "Polygamy jokes in a kid's show.", - "Dangling Pokéballs.", - "Having a giant drill for a dick.", - "A robot having an orgasm.", - "Villagulio.", - "Angry naked people.", - "Going Super Saiyan while taking a massive dump.", - "My daikon.", - "Literally spanking a monkey.", - "Going Super Saiyan.", - "Going Super Saiyan during orgasm.", - "Having sex with a dragon.", - "Manga Jesus.", - "Manly pink sparkles.", - "7 ft. tall red-headed Alexander the Great.", - "Training a dinosaur to ride a ball.", - "Samba-dancing dinosaurs.", - "An armored truck full of shit.", - "A Togepi omelet.", - "A laser horse.", - "Girls with guns AND glasses.", - "Teenaged miniskirt-wearing space pirates.", - "Gas station sushi.", - "Jerry Jewell's serial killer face.", - "A FUCKING DRAGONITE, MOTHERFUCKER!!", - "A school bus orgy.", - "Super Aryan Hitler.", - "4,000 tacos, and one Diet Coke.", - "An actual, honest-to-God black guy.", - "Black and white samurai movies.", - "Sick with the cancer.", - "Transvestite police officers.", - "A promotional crossover with Pizza Hut.", - "Star-shaped nipples.", - "Con funk.", - "Pissing yourself.", - "Hot anime moms.", - "Vocaloid death metal.", - "GAO! GAI! GAR!!!", - "Yaoi paddles.", - "The Dark Lord Shawne Kleckner.", - "Mr. Satan.", - "Bad Steven Foster dubs.", - "A potato committing seppuku.", - "A giant robot German suplex.", - "Hentai voice acting.", - "A vampire ninja.", - "Hello Kitty! pregnancy doujins.", - "Waving it around all willy-nilly.", - "A Godzilla attack.", - "Eating KFC on Christmas day.", - "Astro Boy.", - "Jacking off into a bottle of formaldehyde and calling it our firstborn.", - "Traps.", - "Korean Jesus.", - "An unending, unquenchable thirst for orange Fanta.", - "Breaking the fourth wall to kill the mangaka.", - "Valvrape the Dominator.", - "Piles of dead children.", - "An 8 million yen debt to a club of rich pretty boys.", - "Mamoru Oshii's dog love.", - "A diet consisting almost entirely of potatoes.", - "Rock-hard, glistening abs.", - "Totoro.", - "Wild Tiger's Hundred Power.", - "Fucking postcards as a cheap-ass pack-in gift.", - "Hideaki Anno's poor, tortured therapist.", - "Naming yourself after the method of your suicide.", - "The Chupacabra.", - "Blowing a child's head off with a rocket launcher.", - "Erotic incestuous toothbrushing.", - "Pokémon tears.", - "Pokésexuality.", - "Chopstick-based martial arts.", - "All the gayness in GetBackers.", - "Gen \"The Uro-Butcher\".", - "Mikuru Beam!", - "Tons and tons of close-up underaged schoolgirl ass-shots.", - "Starfish Hitler.", - "An ancient vampire who looks like she's 10.", - "Literally ripping your own heart out.", - "Japanese-style elf ears.", - "Flamboyantly gay William Shakespeare.", - "Tripping, falling, and landing with your face in a girl's breasts.", - "Banging your adopted daughter.", - "A 10-year old with boobs twice the size of her head.", - "A bunny girl having a lightsaber duel with Darth Vader.", - "A third-grader seducing her 23-year-old teacher.", - "SHAFT being SHAFT.", - "One a them bamboo things that goes \"doonk\".", - "Shotas.", - "Moé schoolgirl Hitler.", - "Romance of the Three Kingdoms, but everyone is gender-swapped.", - "A washpan falling onto someone's head from out of nowhere.", - "Franken Fran.", - "Hentai artists who don't change their pen name when they go legit.", - "Getting sucked into a fantasy world.", - "Loli in a box.", - "A Masamune Shirou artbook.", - "Clothing-dissolving slime.", - "Involuntary crossdressing.", - "Completely losing your shit over Endless Eight.", - "Violently beating your friends to death with a baseball bat.", - "Fujoshi.", - "Matrix boobs.", - "A chainsaw-wielding male magical girl zombie.", - "Inoue Kikoku, 17-years old.", - "Chest-hair afros.", - "Cowboy Andy.", - "A cyborg assassin dressed as a magical girl fighting a talking lion and a floating psychic electric jellyfish.", - "J-pop idols.", - "The War on Pants.", - "An ending where everyone dies.", - "Garbage collectors... IN SPACE!!", - "Magical friendship lasers.", - "High-stakes mahjong.", - "Succubus-on-futanari action.", - "Alice in Sexland.", - "A couple that spends over 30 manga volumes trying to get to first base.", - "Dick Saucer.", - "Millionaire Beaver.", - "A sweaty shirtless man holding a large, writhing fish against his chest.", - "A naughty nurse outfit.", - "Morphin'.", - "Zelgadis' flame-proof bikini briefs.", - "A Dragon Slave.", - "A smashed-in face.", - "Epic old bald dudes.", - "Fuckingham Palace.", - "Dying over and over again.", - "The Puchuu.", - "Rainbow Dash.", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "", - "dragonfire535.", - "Xiao.", - "Discord.", - "Discord.js v12.", - "hydrabolt.", - "Nomsy." - ] -} diff --git a/commands/games/apples-to-apples.js b/commands/games/apples-to-apples.js deleted file mode 100644 index b8093f73..00000000 --- a/commands/games/apples-to-apples.js +++ /dev/null @@ -1,263 +0,0 @@ -const Command = require('../../structures/Command'); -const { Collection, escapeMarkdown } = require('discord.js'); -const { stripIndents } = require('common-tags'); -const { shuffle, awaitPlayers } = require('../../util/Util'); -const { greenCards, redCards } = require('../../assets/json/apples-to-apples'); -const { SUCCESS_EMOJI_ID, FAILURE_EMOJI_ID } = process.env; - -module.exports = class ApplesToApplesCommand extends Command { - constructor(client) { - super(client, { - name: 'apples-to-apples', - group: 'games', - memberName: 'apples-to-apples', - description: 'Compete to see who can come up with the best card to match an adjective.', - guildOnly: true, - args: [ - { - key: 'maxPts', - label: 'maximum amount of points', - prompt: 'What amount of points should determine the winner?', - type: 'integer', - min: 1, - max: 20 - }, - { - key: 'noMidJoin', - label: 'disable mid-game join', - prompt: 'Do you want to disable mid-game joining?', - type: 'boolean', - default: false - } - ] - }); - - this.playing = new Set(); - } - - async run(msg, { maxPts, noMidJoin }) { // eslint-disable-line complexity - if (this.playing.has(msg.channel.id)) return msg.reply('Only one game may be occurring per channel.'); - this.playing.add(msg.channel.id); - let joinLeaveCollector = null; - let pointViewCollector = null; - try { - await msg.say('You will need at least 2 more players, at maximum 10. To join, type `join game`.'); - const awaitedPlayers = await awaitPlayers(msg, 10, 3); - if (!awaitedPlayers) { - this.playing.delete(msg.channel.id); - return msg.say('Game could not be started...'); - } - const players = new Collection(); - for (const user of awaitedPlayers) this.generatePlayer(user, players); - const czars = players.map(player => player.id); - let winner = null; - if (!noMidJoin) joinLeaveCollector = this.createJoinLeaveCollector(msg.channel, players, czars); - pointViewCollector = this.createPointViewCollector(msg.channel, players); - while (!winner) { - for (const player of players) { - if (player.strikes >= 3) this.kickPlayer(player, players, czars); - } - if (players.size < 3) { - await msg.say('Oh... It looks like everyone left...'); - break; - } - const czar = players.get(czars[0]); - czars.push(czar.id); - czars.shift(); - const green = greenCards[Math.floor(Math.random() * greenCards.length)]; - await msg.say(stripIndents` - The card czar will be ${czar.user}! - The Green Card is: **${escapeMarkdown(green)}** - - Sending DMs... - `); - const chosenCards = []; - await Promise.all(players.map(player => this.playerTurn(player, czar, green, msg.channel, chosenCards))); - if (!chosenCards.length) { - await msg.say('Hmm... No one even tried.'); - continue; - } - const cards = shuffle(chosenCards); - await msg.say(stripIndents` - ${czar.user}, which card do you pick? - **Green Card**: ${escapeMarkdown(green)} - - ${cards.map((card, i) => `**${i + 1}.** ${card.card}`).join('\n')} - `); - const filter = res => { - if (res.author.id !== czar.user.id) return false; - if (!/^[0-9]+$/g.test(res.content)) return false; - if (!cards[Number.parseInt(res.content, 10) - 1]) return false; - return true; - }; - const chosen = await msg.channel.awaitMessages(filter, { - max: 1, - time: 120000 - }); - if (!chosen.size) { - await msg.say('Hmm... No one wins. Dealing back cards...'); - for (const pick of cards) players.get(pick.id).hand.add(pick.card); - players.get(czar.id).strikes++; - continue; - } - const player = players.get(cards[Number.parseInt(chosen.first().content, 10) - 1].id); - if (!player) { - await msg.say('Oh no, I think that player left! No points will be awarded...'); - continue; - } - ++player.points; - if (player.points >= maxPts) { - winner = player.user; - } else { - const addS = player.points > 1 ? 's' : ''; - await msg.say(`Nice, ${player.user}! You now have **${player.points}** point${addS}!`); - } - } - if (joinLeaveCollector) joinLeaveCollector.stop(); - pointViewCollector.stop(); - this.playing.delete(msg.channel.id); - if (!winner) return msg.say('See you next time!'); - return msg.say(`And the winner is... ${winner}! Great job!`); - } catch (err) { - this.playing.delete(msg.channel.id); - if (joinLeaveCollector) joinLeaveCollector.stop(); - if (pointViewCollector) pointViewCollector.stop(); - return msg.reply(`Oh no, an error occurred: \`${err.message}\`. Try again later!`); - } - } - - generatePlayer(user, players) { - const cards = new Set(); - for (let i = 0; i < 10; i++) { - const valid = redCards.filter(card => !cards.has(card)); - cards.add(valid[Math.floor(Math.random() * valid.length)]); - } - players.set(user.id, { - id: user.id, - user, - points: 0, - hand: cards, - strikes: 0 - }); - return players; - } - - async playerTurn(player, czar, green, channel, chosenCards) { - if (player.user.id === czar.user.id) return; - if (player.hand.size < 10) { - const valid = redCards.filter(card => !player.hand.has(card)); - player.hand.add(valid[Math.floor(Math.random() * valid.length)]); - } - try { - if (player.hand.size < 1) { - await player.user.send('You don\'t have enough cards!'); - return; - } - const hand = Array.from(player.hand); - await player.user.send(stripIndents` - __**Your hand is**__: _(Type \`swap\` to exchange a point for a new hand.)_ - ${hand.map((card, i) => `**${i + 1}.** ${card}`).join('\n')} - - **Green Card**: ${escapeMarkdown(green)} - **Card Czar**: ${czar.user.username} - Pick **1** card! - `); - let chosen = null; - const filter = res => { - if (res.content.toLowerCase() === 'swap' && player.points > 0) return true; - const existing = hand[Number.parseInt(res.content, 10) - 1]; - if (!existing) return false; - chosen = existing; - return true; - }; - const choices = await player.user.dmChannel.awaitMessages(filter, { - max: 1, - time: 60000 - }); - if (choices.first().content.toLowerCase() === 'swap') { - player.points--; - await player.user.send('Swapping cards...'); - for (const card of player.hand) player.hand.delete(card); - for (let i = 0; i < 10; i++) { - const valid = redCards.filter(card => !player.hand.has(card)); - player.hand.add(valid[Math.floor(Math.random() * valid.length)]); - } - return this.playerTurn(player, czar, green, channel, chosenCards); // eslint-disable-line consistent-return - } - if (choices.size < 1) { - chosen = hand[Math.floor(Math.random() * hand.length)]; - player.strikes++; - } - if (chosen === '') { - if (choices.size < 1) { - const handled = await this.handleBlank(player); - chosen = handled; - } else { - chosen = 'A randomly chosen blank card.'; - } - } - player.hand.delete(chosen); - chosenCards.push({ - id: player.id, - card: chosen - }); - await player.user.send(`Nice! Return to ${channel} to await the results!`); - } catch (err) { - return; // eslint-disable-line no-useless-return - } - } - - async handleBlank(player) { - await player.user.send('What do you want the blank card to say? Must be 100 or less characters.'); - const blank = await player.user.dmChannel.awaitMessages(res => res.content.length <= 100, { - max: 1, - time: 60000 - }); - player.hand.delete(''); - if (!blank.size) return `A blank card ${player.user.tag} forgot to fill out.`; - return blank.first().content; - } - - createJoinLeaveCollector(channel, players, czars) { - const filter = res => { - if (res.author.bot) return false; - if (players.has(res.author.id) && res.content.toLowerCase() !== 'leave game') return false; - if (czars[0] === res.author.id || players.size >= 10) { - res.react(FAILURE_EMOJI_ID || '❌').catch(() => null); - return false; - } - if (!['join game', 'leave game'].includes(res.content.toLowerCase())) return false; - res.react(SUCCESS_EMOJI_ID || '✅').catch(() => null); - return true; - }; - const collector = channel.createMessageCollector(filter); - collector.on('collect', msg => { - if (msg.content.toLowerCase() === 'join game') { - this.generatePlayer(msg.author, players); - czars.push(msg.author.id); - } else if (msg.content.toLowerCase() === 'leave game') { - this.kickPlayer(msg.author, players, czars); - } - }); - return collector; - } - - createPointViewCollector(channel, players) { - const collector = channel.createMessageCollector(res => { - if (res.author.bot) return false; - if (!players.has(res.author.id)) return false; - if (res.content.toLowerCase() !== 'view points') return false; - return true; - }); - collector.on('collect', msg => { - const player = players.get(msg.author.id); - msg.reply(`You have **${player.points}** point${player.points > 1 ? 's' : ''}.`).catch(() => null); - }); - return collector; - } - - kickPlayer(player, players, czars) { - players.delete(player.id); - czars.splice(czars.indexOf(player.id), 1); - } -}; diff --git a/commands/games/cards-against-humanity.js b/commands/games/cards-against-humanity.js deleted file mode 100644 index 25ba339a..00000000 --- a/commands/games/cards-against-humanity.js +++ /dev/null @@ -1,267 +0,0 @@ -const Command = require('../../structures/Command'); -const { Collection, escapeMarkdown } = require('discord.js'); -const { stripIndents } = require('common-tags'); -const { shuffle, awaitPlayers } = require('../../util/Util'); -const { blackCards, whiteCards } = require('../../assets/json/cards-against-humanity'); -const { SUCCESS_EMOJI_ID, FAILURE_EMOJI_ID } = process.env; - -module.exports = class CardsAgainstHumanityCommand extends Command { - constructor(client) { - super(client, { - name: 'cards-against-humanity', - aliases: ['crude-cards', 'pretend-youre-xyzzy', 'cah'], - group: 'games', - memberName: 'cards-against-humanity', - description: 'Compete to see who can come up with the best card to fill in the blank.', - guildOnly: true, - args: [ - { - key: 'maxPts', - label: 'maximum amount of points', - prompt: 'What amount of points should determine the winner?', - type: 'integer', - min: 1, - max: 20 - }, - { - key: 'noMidJoin', - label: 'disable mid-game join', - prompt: 'Do you want to disable mid-game joining?', - type: 'boolean', - default: false - } - ] - }); - - this.playing = new Set(); - } - - async run(msg, { maxPts, noMidJoin }) { // eslint-disable-line complexity - if (this.playing.has(msg.channel.id)) return msg.reply('Only one game may be occurring per channel.'); - this.playing.add(msg.channel.id); - let joinLeaveCollector = null; - let pointViewCollector = null; - try { - await msg.say('You will need at least 2 more players, at maximum 10. To join, type `join game`.'); - const awaitedPlayers = await awaitPlayers(msg, 10, 3); - if (!awaitedPlayers) { - this.playing.delete(msg.channel.id); - return msg.say('Game could not be started...'); - } - const players = new Collection(); - for (const user of awaitedPlayers) this.generatePlayer(user, players); - const czars = players.map(player => player.id); - let winner = null; - if (!noMidJoin) joinLeaveCollector = this.createJoinLeaveCollector(msg.channel, players, czars); - pointViewCollector = this.createPointViewCollector(msg.channel, players); - while (!winner) { - for (const player of players) { - if (player.strikes >= 3) this.kickPlayer(player, players, czars); - } - if (players.size < 3) { - await msg.say('Oh... It looks like everyone left...'); - break; - } - const czar = players.get(czars[0]); - czars.push(czar.id); - czars.shift(); - const black = blackCards[Math.floor(Math.random() * blackCards.length)]; - await msg.say(stripIndents` - The card czar will be ${czar.user}! - The Black Card is: **${escapeMarkdown(black.text)}** - - Sending DMs... - `); - const chosenCards = []; - await Promise.all(players.map(player => this.playerTurn(player, czar, black, msg.channel, chosenCards))); - if (!chosenCards.length) { - await msg.say('Hmm... No one even tried.'); - continue; - } - const cards = shuffle(chosenCards); - await msg.say(stripIndents` - ${czar.user}, which card${black.pick > 1 ? 's' : ''} do you pick? - **Black Card**: ${escapeMarkdown(black.text)} - - ${cards.map((card, i) => `**${i + 1}.** ${card.cards.join(', ')}`).join('\n')} - `); - const filter = res => { - if (res.author.id !== czar.user.id) return false; - if (!/^[0-9]+$/g.test(res.content)) return false; - if (!cards[Number.parseInt(res.content, 10) - 1]) return false; - return true; - }; - const chosen = await msg.channel.awaitMessages(filter, { - max: 1, - time: 120000 - }); - if (!chosen.size) { - await msg.say('Hmm... No one wins. Dealing back cards...'); - for (const pick of cards) { - for (const card of pick.cards) players.get(pick.id).hand.add(card); - } - players.get(czar.id).strikes++; - continue; - } - const player = players.get(cards[Number.parseInt(chosen.first().content, 10) - 1].id); - if (!player) { - await msg.say('Oh no, I think that player left! No points will be awarded...'); - continue; - } - ++player.points; - if (player.points >= maxPts) { - winner = player.user; - } else { - const addS = player.points > 1 ? 's' : ''; - await msg.say(`Nice, ${player.user}! You now have **${player.points}** point${addS}!`); - } - } - if (joinLeaveCollector) joinLeaveCollector.stop(); - pointViewCollector.stop(); - this.playing.delete(msg.channel.id); - if (!winner) return msg.say('See you next time!'); - return msg.say(`And the winner is... ${winner}! Great job!`); - } catch (err) { - this.playing.delete(msg.channel.id); - if (joinLeaveCollector) joinLeaveCollector.stop(); - if (pointViewCollector) pointViewCollector.stop(); - return msg.reply(`Oh no, an error occurred: \`${err.message}\`. Try again later!`); - } - } - - generatePlayer(user, players) { - const cards = new Set(); - for (let i = 0; i < 10; i++) { - const valid = whiteCards.filter(card => !cards.has(card)); - cards.add(valid[Math.floor(Math.random() * valid.length)]); - } - players.set(user.id, { - id: user.id, - user, - points: 0, - hand: cards, - strikes: 0 - }); - return players; - } - - async playerTurn(player, czar, black, channel, chosenCards) { - if (player.user.id === czar.user.id) return; - if (player.hand.size < 10) { - const valid = whiteCards.filter(card => !player.hand.has(card)); - player.hand.add(valid[Math.floor(Math.random() * valid.length)]); - } - try { - if (player.hand.size < black.pick) { - await player.user.send('You don\'t have enough cards!'); - return; - } - const hand = Array.from(player.hand); - await player.user.send(stripIndents` - __**Your hand is**__: _(Type \`swap\` to exchange a point for a new hand.)_ - ${hand.map((card, i) => `**${i + 1}.** ${card}`).join('\n')} - - **Black Card**: ${escapeMarkdown(black.text)} - **Card Czar**: ${czar.user.username} - Pick **${black.pick}** card${black.pick > 1 ? 's' : ''}! - `); - const chosen = []; - const filter = res => { - if (res.content.toLowerCase() === 'swap' && player.points > 0) return true; - const existing = hand[Number.parseInt(res.content, 10) - 1]; - if (!existing) return false; - if (chosen.includes(existing)) return false; - chosen.push(existing); - return true; - }; - const choices = await player.user.dmChannel.awaitMessages(filter, { - max: black.pick, - time: 60000 - }); - if (choices.first().content.toLowerCase() === 'swap') { - player.points--; - await player.user.send('Swapping cards...'); - for (const card of player.hand) player.hand.delete(card); - for (let i = 0; i < 10; i++) { - const valid = whiteCards.filter(card => !player.hand.has(card)); - player.hand.add(valid[Math.floor(Math.random() * valid.length)]); - } - return this.playerTurn(player, czar, black, channel, chosenCards); // eslint-disable-line consistent-return - } - if (choices.size < black.pick) { - for (let i = 0; i < black.pick; i++) chosen.push(hand[Math.floor(Math.random() * hand.length)]); - player.strikes++; - } - if (chosen.includes('')) { - if (choices.size < black.pick) { - const handled = await this.handleBlank(player); - chosen[chosen.indexOf('')] = handled; - } else { - chosen[chosen.indexOf('')] = 'A randomly chosen blank card.'; - } - } - for (const card of chosen) player.hand.delete(card); - chosenCards.push({ - id: player.id, - cards: chosen - }); - await player.user.send(`Nice! Return to ${channel} to await the results!`); - } catch (err) { - return; // eslint-disable-line no-useless-return - } - } - - async handleBlank(player) { - await player.user.send('What do you want the blank card to say? Must be 100 or less characters.'); - const blank = await player.user.dmChannel.awaitMessages(res => res.content.length <= 100, { - max: 1, - time: 60000 - }); - player.hand.delete(''); - if (!blank.size) return `A blank card ${player.user.tag} forgot to fill out.`; - return blank.first().content; - } - - createJoinLeaveCollector(channel, players, czars) { - const filter = res => { - if (res.author.bot) return false; - if (players.has(res.author.id) && res.content.toLowerCase() !== 'leave game') return false; - if (czars[0] === res.author.id || players.size >= 10) { - res.react(FAILURE_EMOJI_ID || '❌').catch(() => null); - return false; - } - if (!['join game', 'leave game'].includes(res.content.toLowerCase())) return false; - res.react(SUCCESS_EMOJI_ID || '✅').catch(() => null); - return true; - }; - const collector = channel.createMessageCollector(filter); - collector.on('collect', msg => { - if (msg.content.toLowerCase() === 'join game') { - this.generatePlayer(msg.author, players); - czars.push(msg.author.id); - } else if (msg.content.toLowerCase() === 'leave game') { - this.kickPlayer(msg.author, players, czars); - } - }); - return collector; - } - - createPointViewCollector(channel, players) { - const collector = channel.createMessageCollector(res => { - if (res.author.bot) return false; - if (!players.has(res.author.id)) return false; - if (res.content.toLowerCase() !== 'view points') return false; - return true; - }); - collector.on('collect', msg => { - const player = players.get(msg.author.id); - msg.reply(`You have **${player.points}** point${player.points > 1 ? 's' : ''}.`).catch(() => null); - }); - return collector; - } - - kickPlayer(player, players, czars) { - players.delete(player.id); - czars.splice(czars.indexOf(player.id), 1); - } -}; diff --git a/package.json b/package.json index 029fe6ba..163378b9 100644 --- a/package.json +++ b/package.json @@ -1,6 +1,6 @@ { "name": "xiao", - "version": "85.12.5", + "version": "86.0.0", "description": "Your personal server companion.", "main": "Xiao.js", "scripts": {